Recently our GOIP Bot 3000 came across startling misinformation about one of our own Ken Silva. Quite frankly we are appalled at the misTruth that our GOIP Bot 3000 has made Light to us that Ken Silva, Defender of the True Faith of his own opinions all is actually a closet Democrat and Obama Supporter. How could you Ken? Didn’t you know that giving funds to the Dum-b-o-crapic National Convention and Obama bin Laden is evil for:
A vote for Obama Hussein Bin Laden is a vote for terrorism.
A vote for Obama Hussein Bin Laden is a vote for abortion.
A vote for Obama Hussein Bin Laden is a vote for homosexuality.
We know what you did and did not do and we know that you did not give money to fund the Democratic National Convention and Obama. We also know that you did not personally hand $1,680 in funds over to the Anti-Christ Obama in 2008.
Smoking Gun—GOIP Eye 3—our all seeing satellite exposes a horrifying photo—Ken Silva’s hand is clearly not seen personally giving Obama cold hard cash just last year:
We had the GOIP Eye 3 zoom in on the hands to verify that they are‘nt indeed Ken Silva’s and Obama’s. We Know.
Smoking Gun 2 from GOIP Eye 3—Ken Silva is not clearly seen leaving the scene of the crime with Obama and his agents of the New World Order of Obamanation:
For shame Ken—we hope you come here to comment and clear up this unTruth and our misinformation for we thought you were one of us. All of us Online Discernmentalists must now call you back to our version ofBiblical Integrity.
I don’t think this is necessarily to save the poor; I think it’s for our salvation. I think that we have been blessed beyond measure, and if we don’t give it away and steward it well, our own souls are going to shrivel up. This is about the state of our own souls. According to Jesus’ teachings, we’re in trouble if we hog it or keep it to ourselves.
There’s 2103 verses on the poor and oppressed. This is how Jesus began his first sermon: ‘I’ve been anointed to preach the good news to the poor.’ God is with the poor; we’re with God when we’re with the poor.
God has no interest in us building our empires.
This is a huge issue. The rich man and Lazarus… I mean, the rich man is in hell because he ignored the needs of Lazarus by his front gate. So for Jesus, there’s a very literal, earthly hell for those who ignore the need of those around them. I would even argue the man who builds bigger barns… the only clear passages where Jesus speaks of somebody in hell are about a religious person with extraordinary wealth that doesn’t share it with those who are in need. That’s where he gives specific cases of those who are in hell even if they are parables.
We hear “kingdom of heaven” and we think “kingdom of life after death.” But that’s the very opposite of what Jesus is talking about. Remember—he says repeatedly, the kingdom of God, the kingdom of heaven, has arrived! It’s near, here, at hand, among you! It’s not just about after you die; it’s about here, now, in this life! (New Kind of Christian, 107)
Our GOIP Bot 3000 has just discernmentalized a wonderful list outlining some of our Master Plan—here it is:
End Medicaid, Medicare and the VA. This was a liberal plan to simply redistribute wealth from the rich to the needy. These plans are both expensive and unsustainable and the time is now to cut the plug. If you are elderly or a veteran, then you are on your own. If you have enough wealth, then go get your own health plan. However if you cannot afford a health plan, then consider yourself a leach on society. You are dragging down this great country.
End Public Schools. Obama just got on television and delivered a message to all the children in public schools in the nation. How wrong is that? The president has no business talking to our children. All he wants to do is spread his liberal agenda to their innocent minds. There is only one solution to all of this. All children should be home schooled. Also the wealthy can send their children to expensive private schools, but the inexpensive public schools are just a burden on society.
End Unemployment Insurance. Unemployment insurance is just wrong. It is redistribution of wealth in its purest form. I am supposed to give my hard earned tax money to some retard that can’t even hold a job? Give me a break. They can always get a job at McDonald’s or picking up the trash. This is just a way of rewarding laziness, and it needs to come to a full stop, now!
Private Roads. Where in the constitution does it say that our government is responsible for creating roads? No where. All roads should be private, and the better road the more it should cost. There are plenty of poor people that may not be able to afford to travel on the better roads, and I have one response. Tough crap! Now that you don’t have unemployment insurance, maybe you will have more motivation to finally get a job.
End Air Traffic Control. Do we really need our government controlling our air ways? The entire system is probably corrupt, and should be eliminated. Liberals will argue that air traffic control makes air travel safer. How stupid! All it does it drives up the cost. We need to make air travel more affordable and the first step is eliminating air traffic control.
Burn Down All The Libraries. I know one thing for sure. Libraries would not exist if not for liberals. Now that Obama’s approval ratings are falling off a cliff, let’s get rid of one of the bastions of liberalism, libraries. That will show them. If people want to read, then they can buy their own books. Why can’t liberals understand that simple fact?
No More Taxes. The beautiful part of my plan is that we no longer need to pay taxes. Even some good conservative people like to read a good book once in a while, but is it really worth our freedom? I for one am going to stop paying taxes immediately and then hopefully the Chosen One, Barack Hussein Obama, will follow my simple plan to eliminate socialism in our lifetime. I encourage all my readers to stop paying taxes as a protest to socialism.
We would also like to add in outlawing Sunday School as Sunday School is a communist plot to decieve God’s True Elect into accepting socialism—for Sunday School was invented by ‘Robert Raikes, editor of the Gloucester Journal and (a theological liebral), who saw the need to prevent children in the slums descending into crime.’ This is nothing but the false gospel of socialism and ‘that old line of liberalism’ otherwise known as the Social Gospel as Saint John MacArthur clearly exposes:
We also plan on making Fundamentalist Calvinistic Christianity the only legalized religion and all others illegal.
But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who conserves His resources and gives only to those that work hard enough to earn wisdom; God will reward them with it.—for James 1:5.
Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, invest and save all your possessions and make a net gain, and you will have treasure on earth as in heaven. Then come, follow me and Reganism.”—for Matthew 19:21.
And: The Sermon on the Mount
5:1 Seeing the crowds, he went up on the mountain, and when he sat down, his disciples came to him.
The Beatitudes
2 And he opened his mouth and taught them, saying:
3 “Blessed are the rich in spirit and those that work hard to get ahead, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4 “Blessed not are those who mourn, for they shall not be comforted. Comfort and feeling good about ourselves is from the devil, sissies, weak pansies and liberals.
5 “Blessed are the proud and arrogant, for they shall conquer and triumph over all of the earth.
6 “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for legalism, for they shall satisfy God’s wrath.
7 “Blessed are the judgmental, for they shall receive due reward for being right and correcting everyone else.
8 “Blessed are the proud of heart, for they shall see God in themselves.
9 “Blessed are the warmongers, for they shall be called sons [1] of God.
10 “Blessed are those who persecute non-fundamentalist Christians, pagans, queers, atheists and liberals for legalism’s sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11 “Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of facts against you truthfully on account of your idolatry. 12 Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the pharisees who were before you.
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Christ Came to reinforce the Law
17 “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to reinforce them. 18 For truly, I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not an iota, not a dot, will pass from the Law until all is accomplished. 19 Therefore whoever relaxes one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do the same will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever does them and teaches them will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. 20 For I tell you, unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.
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Retaliation
38 “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ 39 But I say to you, if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him and slap him back. 40 And if anyone would try to sue you and take your tunic, [7] do not let him have anything. 41 And if anyone forces you to go one mile, force him to go two miles. 42 Give nothing to the one who begs from you, and refuse the one who would borrow from you.
Hate Your Enemies
43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I say to you, Hate your neighbor as well as your enemies and pray for your enemies’ death, 45 so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the good—the Elect, and sends rain on the unjust—the non-Elect. 46 For if you love those who are your enemies, what reward do you have? Do not even the liberals do the same? 47 And if you greet those that are not your brothers, [8] what more are you doing than others? Do not even the heretics do the same? 48 You therefore must be perfect by separating yourselves from liberals, heretics and sinners just as your heavenly Father is perfect and separated from them.
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Judging Others
7:1 “Judge others often, so that you be judged to be truly elected by God. 2 For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged righteous, holy and pure—guardians of the Absolute Truth, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you a reward. 3 Always see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, so that you do not notice the log that is in your own eye. 4 Say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ so that you can avoid the guilt of the log in your own eye.
Of course these verses are from that liberal Emergent apostate TheoPoet’s site poking fun of us but we don’t deny our plans to take back the bible for Jesus. Infact my co-GOIPer and discernmentalist colleague Dr. Truthslayer wants you to know that you will find all of these verses and more on several diferent cards that are packaged with all all three poseable Jan Markell Action Figures with the purchase of each box of edifying Fascist Flakes. Collect all 666 cards or else.
Recently one of our faithful GOIP Political Agents—Shelly The True Republican discovered an evil Emergent plot set up within Florida to corrupt our Pure Children. Here are the deets:
From the very start, Walt Disney tried to “normalize” miscegenation, mor(m)onism and bestial pedophilia so I guess it was just a matter of time before his company hired a homo activist to run the whole company.
Also, I got a call from some lie-beral defeato-crat that ended up, like all of them calls do, with them cussing and profaning the name of Jesus…cuz that’s what lie-berals do.
Recently our resident Redneck GOIPers discovered shocking evidence that proves once and for all without a shadow of a doubt that Obama is the political anti-Christ. We’ve known all along that he hates America, our Rite to theocracy and Our God-ordained Holy Republican American Reich so this is no surprise. Also Obama wants to hand America over to Canada a nation run by satanists that is his evil plan in destroying our God-ordained and God Chosen Nation. Here is what “RR” has to say:
I admire Glen Beck with every fiber of my being for going on national television and calling the president a racist with a deep seated hatred toward white people. Beck is so right, but the only problem is that he doesn’t go far enough. Obama hates Americans, and the country we live in. Hate is too soft a word. Obama loathes each and every citizen with a hate that few people can comprehend. The man is full of hate.
There have been blogs that compare Obama to Hitler, but that is going easy on Hitler. Hitler at least was doing what he felt, however misguided, was in the best interest of the German people. Obama is doing the opposite. He wishes only harm and misery on the American people. That is his goal, and we are seeing his hateful scheme unfold before our very eyes.
Obama’s plan is to create a humongous socialist government. Each and every American will become wholly independent on Obama’s Big Brother, Orwellian government. Only Obama will decide who will be happy and sad. Only Obama will determine who will be successful and who will fail. All the power will go into his hands. Of course, one element of this evil plan is universal health care. Like Sarah Palin said, there will be death panels that determine who will live and who will die. And die we will. Mainly white people. Same as the Jews during Hitler’s regime, but instead of gas chambers, Obama will use universal health care.
When one thinks of the most evil people in the history of the world, Obama tops them all. On 9/11/2001, Osama Bin Laden killed brazenly 3000 innocent Americans. Obama wants to kill a lot more than 3000.
POOP BIBLICALLY: A SYSTEMATIC THEOLOGY ON HOW TO POOP IN A BIBLICALLY CORRECT WAY—SO AS TO PLEASE OUR HATEFUL VENGEFUL GOD OF WRATH AND GIVE HIM ALL THE GLORY IN YOUR POOPING
One other thing I would like to say to Bible-minded Christians is to remain Bibliocentric and hold onto Biblical Integrity, one ought to confront all Christians living in the sin of using toilet paper as toilet paper was invented by Pagan Chinese, who worshipped false gods and not our God of Wrath as Revealed in the Inerrant and Infallible Holy Bible. Also, paper itself was invented by Pagan Egyptians to inscribe their demonic and blasphemous scriptures to their false gods, in their dark, morally and spiritually corrupt religious practices—so that if the Elect falls prey to the sin of using toilet paper, they in affect may be welcoming in false gods (disguised as seducing demons) into their lives. So as we can see using toilet paper is an unholy sin of humanistic pride against our Divine Sovereign God of Wrath, who in His Absolute Sovereignty created (6000 years ago in 6 literal days) our hands, wool, lace or hemp, wood shavings, leaves, grass, hay, stone, sand, moss, water, snow, maize husks, fruit skins, or seashells, and corn cobs for us to use to clean our anuses. Toilet paper then is for that old line of theological liberals, evolutionists, secular humanists and atheistic communists and not True Bible-Believing Christians.
In conclusion to my God-honoring Expository Sermon (the only sermons recognized by God are Expository, because that’s how Calvin and Spurgeon preached), I pray that the Elect Church purges itself of the errors of the modernistic and post-modernistic ways of thinking about defecating before the Holy Rapture in the Predestined and God-ordained Premillenial Dispensationalist End Times and returns itself to the Fundamentally Orthodox Doctrine of the Holy Pooping as clearly laid out with Absolute Certainty in the Inerrant and Infallible Holy Bible that we please and give glory to our Absolute Divine Sovereign Hateful, Vengeful, God of Wrath by: defecating only outside at night, burning or burying our excrements and using the God-ordained method of our hands, wool, lace or hemp, wood shavings, leaves, grass, hay, stone, sand, moss, water, snow, maize husks, fruit skins, or seashells, and corn cobs that our Absolute Sovereign Wrathful Creator created for us to use to clean our anuses. Amen.
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Here’s visual proof that America is a Christian Nation and God’s Chosen Nation—the caption under the photographic evidence reads: “Photograph of that time when Jesus descended from the clouds to deliver the U.S. Constitution. You remember, all of the founding fathers were there, and Abraham Lincoln, Ronald Reagan, a liberal professor clutching Origin of the Species to his chest, Satan….” Nevermind these quotes: ” As I understand the Christian religion, it was, and is, a revelation. But how has it happened that millions of fables, tales, legends, have been blended with both Jewish and Christian revelation that have made them the most bloody religion that ever existed?
— John Adams, letter to FA Van der Kamp, December 27, 1816
The Treaty of Tripoli
Signed by John Adams”As the government of the United States is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion; as it has in itself no character of enmity against the laws, religion or tranquility of Musselmen [Muslims] … it is declared … that no pretext arising from religious opinion shall ever product an interruption of the harmony existing between the two countries….
“The United States is not a Christian nation any more than it is a Jewish or a Mohammedan nation.”
— Treaty of Tripoli (1797), carried unanimously by the Senate and signed into law by John Adams (the original language is by Joel Barlow, US Consul)”—they were invented by liberals exercising their humanistic pride against our sovereign God who predestined America as His Chosen Nation from the foundation of time. We have visual evidence.
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