Archive for the ‘Disneyism’ Category

Worldly Cheese Found

April 3, 2010

Our Research Robot Monkeys are always combing the web and the globe for all things worldly and apostate as they are able to find the devil in anything and everything. Recently a worldly and demon possessed cheese has been brought to their attention:

What makes this cheese so evil and reprobate? Just listen to the name Babybel which sounds too much like Babel which was in Babylon. Oh the rank apostasy—not only that we  believe Babybel cheese is truly Satanic for when our Research Robot Monkeys parsed the letters out  of  Babybel, they discovered it was a secret codeword for Baby Bel. Bel as in BelBa’al or Belial which of course are other names for the devil.

We concur as here are some of the worldly promises which Babybel offers:

  • they suit alternative vegetarian dietary needs (this is nothing  but liberalism).
  • they make Goat cheese (Goats  are symbolic of Satan and the unsaved non-Elect unregenerate reprobates).
  • they promise laughter (Discernmentalists don’t believe in laughter as laughter is too fun and fun leads to rebellion and rebellion is of the devil. We do believe in laughing at the non-Elect however and rejoice in their predestined damnation which brings gory glory to God).
  • it’s feminist (their commercial says that the cheese is “for the laughing girl”).
  • We Know that Emergents probably like it and if it was used in their churches it would cause women to disobey I Corinthians 14:33-35: “33For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints. 34Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law. 35And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.” (KJV).
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Finally A True Bible-Believing God-honoring Email Domain Address That God Is Proud Of

March 31, 2010

                 

A thank you from New World Order Weekend

What can a @Reagan.com Email address do for you? you may ask:

Why Your email address with Reagan.com will send a clear message to the recipient: You are a True Bible-Believing, God-honoring,  Regenerated Elect, Frozen And Chozen Reagan Conservative and Fundamentalist Christian, period.

Each @Reagan.com address is built on the ideal that each person should pay for and leave God to control his or her hate speech communications via the latest Holy Spirit chip technology built by GOIP Labs and featured in the new iTruth made  by the the ODMafia Research and Discernmentalist Labs for truth warriors by truth warriors.  At the same time it should allow you the freedom through American Gospel and Bible-based techniques to check your email and calendar at anytime and from any place in the world under American sovereign imperial control where there is an internet connection using a computer or your smart phone. Your @Reagan.com address will even work in all 52 states of America including the newly annexed States of RonaldReaganistan and Rumsfeld’s Democratic American Republican State of Bushraqistan also your @Reagan.com address will work in America’s future Provinces including Illegal Immigrant Cheap Labor And Tacos’ Land Of Profitable Beach Resorts For Rich White American Tourists, Canuckistan: Northern Province Of Eh!, Urup: Our Ancestors’ Land aka The Old Country and the  separate Territories of We Kicked Ur Butt Twice Island, Whiny White-Flagged Pushovers: Land Of Easy-Surrenders and United Popeland

Our Holy Spirit chip techonology features a State of the art email and calendar system for true conservatives and those who are Truly Elected to Salvation @reagan.com. What are some of the other features of the @Reagan.com Email address—why it is:

Simple
And by simple we mean complex. Plus you Only get what  we think you need when we think you need it.

Efficient
Advanced synchronization for:  Blackberry, iPhone, iTruth, and many other GOIP Windows Mobile devices. Advanced Outlook synchronization and collaboration.

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Check your email over an encrypted connection. We have built in tracking technology as well.

Offers Less Spam
Our advanced spam filter delivers comprehensive protection from spam and phishing messages. We are also able to censor 10% more Emergent, Liberal and anti-Calvinist Arminian messages than other email providers.

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Yes “not free”…because free stuff equals Marxism, Communism and Socialism.

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Plus as a free bonus gift to you we offer you free
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Own your @Reagan.com Email address for the easy payment of Only $34.95/yr plus other funds we decide to steal from the poor. An @Reagan.com Email address is  the righteous and Godly way to spend your money. Don’t waste your hard earned money on unregenerate non-Elect reprobated poor lazy bums and slobs like those Red-Letter Christians do as the poor were created to be poor and destroyed from the foundation of the world. Create your personal @Reagan.com email today using the form that we will provide you with in order to make sure of your Secured Elected Salvation and that you are Truly of the Inerrant Right who are always right.

Capitalism Could’ve Saved Haiti

February 27, 2010

We Know  that Capitalism could’ve saved Haiti from God-ordained destruction as Capitalism is BiblicalJoel McDurmon writes:

Socialism and the corruption that attends welfare-Statism in Haiti have consistently rejected free markets and the prosperity that come with them for decades. Walter Williams documents Haiti’s combination of 1) lack of economic freedom, 2) rampant corruption, 3) catastrophic crime, and 4) denigration of private property rights. He notes, “Haitian President Rene Preval is not enthusiastic about free markets; his heroes are none other than the hemisphere’s two brutal communist tyrants: Venezuela’s Hugo Chavez and Cuba’s Fidel Castro.”

 

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Chavez and Castro? Perhaps Pat Robertson was not so far off. Haiti has indeed made a pact with the devil—incarnate in the political style of Chavez and Castro.

Clearly this is why Haiti had to be destroyed by God’s Wrath. We Know so.

Jim Wallis’ Secret Communist Marxist Manifesto Discovered

February 24, 2010

Adolf Howse and his researchmentalists team have discovered  Jim Wallis’ Secret Communist Marxist Manifesto hidden in a Texas bus station locker somewhere. Above you can see how menacing and evil looking it is. How it got there, who really planted it and why it is in German (Adolf Howse’s favorite language besides Bible-Based English/slander) we don’t really know?

Although Dr. Truthslayer has theorized that Jim Wallis was trying to cover up Adolf Howse’s slander lies libel expose on Wallis. Dr. I. Todyaso agreed as did Dr. Arthur McJohn. Dr. Will Farel XV however was under the opinion that there was a secret code hidden in the German vowels. Erich Badger is now working around the clock with our affectionate Uncle Ken Silva’s help in trying to crack any secret codes in it if they really are there.

Jan Markell and Doug Parris have pledged their undying support in our Absolute Truth War ways of slander, hatred, bigotry, misrepresentation and arrogance calling Red-Letter and Emergent Christians to repent of the truth their anti-Capitalism, anti-America and anti-American Gospel ways. All we can say is thank God and Ronald Reagan for Adolf Howse’s saving the Southern Baptist Convention from their sure destruction by Jim Wallis–otherwise Prestonwood Baptist Church may have had to hear such biblical unbiblical messages as this:

Todd Friel’s Secret Prosperity Agenda

February 23, 2010

As we all know Todd Friel (Wretched)’s phone number for his show is 1-800-LAW-GRACE—clearly he isn’t original as the  Litigation Funding for Potential Plaintiffs, Plaintiffs, and Attorneys’ phone number is 1-800-LAW-CASH. This may not look too concerning at first but upon further discernmentalization we have come to the conclusion by our perfect osmosis that Todd is secretly supporting the Prosperity Gospel. Clearly his slippery-slope of using the same  phone number as worldly and legal cash-fiends, ambulance chasing sharks and money sniffing bloodhounds is a secret code for his support of Prosperity teaching. This must have something to do with it as our Research Robot Monkeys have cracked the code. We Know! We have Absolute Proof—just look at what he’s hawking on his site:

Only a true Prosperity teacher would try to sell you something to make money off of the Gospel or endorse products for the Gospel like those Emergents do. We Know because we see all with our Bible-Based omniscience and osmosis.

P. S. Remember to give Todd Friel a call but before you do buy at least ten of his products to support him and his ministry of dividing the church and bless him financially in his Truth War ways.

All Theological Roads Lead Back To Rome?

February 21, 2010

Sharin’ Whiplash aka Non-Electgal in an UnReformed and Deformed moment stated:

Anabaptists, Reformed/Presbyterians, Lutherans, and Anglicans are 4 separate branches with separate traditions. All four branches are Reformed from Roman Catholicism in the broad sense of the term.

Clearly she might be one of the unregenerate reprobates decieved into believing that she is Truly Elect or Secured in her Reprobation for as we know Calvinism has  nothing to do with “Roman Arminianism or Roman Catholicism that man-exalting heresy!” And we don’t exalt man especially not Calvin—We Know! Why—because We told ya so! Or maybe Sharin’ has contracted the same Postmodern and Emergence virus that Ken Silva has contracted?

Jim Wallis Out To Destroy The Southern Baptist Convention

February 18, 2010

Brannon Howse warns:

One of the largest Southern Baptist Churches in America has invited the Rev. Jim Wallis to speak at a church function on March 9, 2010. This is extremely shocking because Prestwood has a long history of being a solid, Bible teaching church. Brannon has warned for several years that the teachings of the Emergent Church and their Social Justice worldview is infiltrating even the best of churches, seminaries, and Christian colleges. Let this be a warning to every pastor, elder, deacon, Sunday school teacher, and church member that we must be ever vigilant to keep this heresy out of our institutions. We must hire staff that have a solid Biblical worldview as well as have discernment and are well read and informed. Dr. David Noebel of Summit Ministries wrote an article on our website in March of 2009, that revealed the following facts about the Rev. Jim Wallis. Jim Wallis has had relationships with the communist Committee in Solidarity with the People of El Salvador. Second, his “Witness for Peace” was an attempt to defend the Nicaraguan Sandinistas! Wallis, together with the Rev. Jeremiah Wright (Obama’s former pastor of 20 years) “rallied support for the communist Nicaraguan regime and protested actions by the United States which supported the anti-communist Contra rebels” (Family World News, February 2009, p. 7). Third, Wallis and his Sojourners community of fellow-travelers believe Fidel Castro’s Cuba, Hugo Chavez’s Venezuela, Daniel Ortega’s Nicaragua, and the other revolutionary forces “restructuring socialist societies” are the Communist paradises the United States needs to emulate in order to establish “social justice.” Writing in the November 1983 issue of Sojourners, Jacob Laksin notes, “Jim Wallis and Jim Rice drafted what would become the charter of leftist activists committed to the proliferation of Communist revolutions in Central America” (Laksin, “Sojourners: History, Activities and Agendas” in Discoverthenetworks.org., 2005). The ugly truth is Wallis wishes to see the destruction of the United States as a nation and in its place “a radical nonconformist community” patterned after the progressive, socialist commune he established in Washington, D.C., in 1971 (Laksin, Ibid.).”The Sojourners community,” says Laksin, “actively embraced ‘liberation theology,’ rallying to the cause of communist regimes that had seized power with the promise of bringing about a revolutionary restructuring of society.” Clark Pinnock, a disaffected former member of Sojourners, said that the community’s members were “100 percent in favor of the Nicaraguan [communist] revolution” (Laksin, Ibid.). Is this what Prestwood endorses? Brannon says that if they really want to have Jim Wallis speak then at the least invite someone like him to show up for a formal debate. If someone like Jim Wallis can be invited to speak at a church like Prestonwood then it should be warning to all of us in leadership positions. Who booked t his guy and why? What is Prestwood going to do about it and what does this say about the individual or individuals that thought this was a good idea? Is this the type of staff Prestowood is now employing? Do young, church staff members think a guy like Jim Wallis is a great guest speaker because SBC schools are teaching the worldview of Wallis?

How dare they invite  someone who regularly attacks our Pure Doctrines and the Inerrancy of the  Bible. Rhology adds:

Errant, human Scripture. By which he no doubt means “the parts of Scripture that I baselessly believe are not errant”. As I’ve asked many times before (in this very combox, even), how is the Scripture any guide or authority when YOU decide the subset of what is to be followed and believed among the set of all its contents? He has never attempted to answer that.

Certainly we can’t allow those different than us in our midst or chaos and heresy may ensue. Certainly allowing people like Jim Wallis in our churches may cause people to esteem Jesus’ words and hold Him in higher regard than Paul, the Bible and the American Gospel—which is heresy. We Know that Brannon Howse believes that America is a Christian Nation born of God and that Todd Friel and Ray Comforts (Awesome) are  disciples of John MacArthur who write on Brannon’s site.  We also know that they give their disciples John MacArthur Study Bibles and that John MacArthur has said that America was born from the sin of rebellion and Satanic witchcraft based on Romans 13. These facts don’t matter for where Absolute Truth and Discernmentalism is concerned—hypocrisy is Lord.

Coca-Cola Drinking Christians: Neo-Marxism In The Church?

February 16, 2010

In many churches and their buildings you may find red Coke machines. This is wrong as red is an evil color. Red is the color of communism, Satan and Leftist Christians or so-called Christians that want to mute the words of Paul and other writers and only follow Jesus’ words. They call themselves “red-letter Christians.”
 

 They feel it is convenient to blot out the words of Paul on homosexuality and focus in on the good deeds Jesus talks about. Most are pacifists who reject an “eye for an eye” (Leviticus 24:19-20). They focus on Jesus’ words about helping the poor, ministering to “the least of these” (Matthew 25:40), loving our enemies, etc. That justifies abandoning hundreds, even thousands of condemning verses in the Bible they choose to wish away. That makes homosexuality OK and war wrong! And remember, Paul and the others in the Bible represent Jesus’ words. They were His spokesmen. Some who believe this way practice a form of neo-Marxism and others would call it “Christian Marxism” — an oxymoron if there ever was one. They note that the early church shared everything (socialism).  A close cousin to this is “liberation theology.”
 
Those who are high profile in this movement include Jim Wallis, Tony Campolo, Brian McLaren and his Emergent bunch, and the National Council of Churches. Jim Wallis says, “In those red letters, Jesus calls us away from the consumerist values that dominate contemporary American consciousness.”  Translate that to mean he loathes capitalism and opts for socialism and/or communism. We believe the proportion of Coke drinking Christians is equal if not higher than the proportion of Emergent and Red Letter Christians. We believe these things have to do with eachother.

 

Coke use to contain trace amounts of cocaine within it—who is to say they have really removed all the traces of cocaine from their “secret formula.” Anything secret sounds fishy to us—sounds New Agey and  New World Orderish to us as well—in fact, We Know that The Coca-Cola Company is a Global company and globalism is one way in which the New World Order/One World Secret Religious Mystery Babylon Government operates. Could it be that drinking Coke leads to Christians becoming Emergent and Red Letter Christians? Our Research Robot Monkeys have investigated these links further—here are their findings:

We Know that Emergent churches are into being relevant and making a point by incorporating secular and worldly pop culture into their theology. We also Know that Coke is a modern icon idol of secular and worldly pop culture. In many churches and their buildings you may find red Coke machines—many of these churches support the “Seeker-Sensitive” movement—they feel the need to cater to the needs of Coke drinkers everywhere regardless of whether or not they are regenerated True converts or unregenerate reprobated False converts. Red is also a popular color of Kool-Aid which Leftist Liberals love to drink therefore since we have reason to believe that cocaine is still part of Coca-Cola’s “secret formula” and liebrals want to legalize all sorts of drugs—Coke is a way to brainwash the masses in church to communism and the false gospel of social action and social change aka the Social Gospel which is just disguised socialism in Christian dressing.

We are appalled as Coca-Cola Drinking (Red-letter/Emergent) Christians join the chorus of those who believe in a utopia with no wanting or war. Yes, that will come someday, but not the way they think. This could come as a shock to them just because they have little to no regard for other parts of the Bible. They have almost created a new meaning for the term “biblical illiteracy.” 

It is tragic that these folks are frequently called “the evangelical Left.” They don’t have even 1% of evangelical theology in a single bone in their body. They cherry- pick the verses they like, almost exclusively the red letters of Jesus. It is also a great tragedy that we’ve allowed Coca-Cola products into our churches knowing how they are agents of the New World Order/One World Secret Religious Mystery Babylon Government opposing our Pure Bible-based Doctrines of wrath, hate, war, torture, greed, exploitation and Capitalism.

Anti-Discernmentalists Plan Anti-Discernment Rally

February 11, 2010

We  are outraged by those working for equality and anti-hate which is why we must protest all this anti-discernmentalism going around. We have thankfully intercepted this evil Emergent video instructing Anti-Discernmentalists on how to protest our wise discernments. Warning this video promotes  Socialism and Communism:

Horrendous—think of the fragile minds of our children exposed to these unbiblical messages of love, brotherhood, justice, peace and unity. We are horrified beyond all words which is why all we have to say is WWRRD? We Know Reagan would not approve and if Regan would not approve Jesus certainly doesn’t approve—which is why we plan to keep on discernmentalizing these evil Emergents and Red-Letter Christians who are out to destroy our Pure Churches and Pure Doctrines.

Discernmentalist Bowl

February 8, 2010

Forget the Super Bowl this year and watch the Discernmentalist Bowl live and commercial free. This year team Reagan’s Raiders takes on team Raw Sewage in a competition of discernmentalism of epic proportions. See who wins the highly coveted Reaganite Discernmentalist Cup Trophy as well as other cool Reaganite prizes. Here is the roster of team Raw Sewage’s lineup:

From left to right: Team Captain Ken Silva head of Raw Sewage Ministries,  Cheerleader Ericha Badger of Take A Stand Ministries, Head Cheerleader Toddy Friel of Wretched Discernmentalism, Field Discernmentalist Ingrid Eva Braun of Laodiceans R’ Us and Lead Conspiracy Theorist Adolfa Howse of New World Order Weekend.

Representing team Reagan’s Raiders are God’s Only Inerrant Party and the Online Discernmentalist Mafia

This year’s Discernmentalist Bowl’s Half-Time Show will feature special entertainment—open air law and wrath witnessing by Quirk Cameron and Ray Comforts (Awesome):

And a special Absolute Truth Gospel  Concert of Hope for God’s Wrath to Pour Down Upon All of Our Enemies like Haiti:

A Spectacular Discernmentalist Event For The Whole Family!