Archive for the ‘God-honoring Expository Sermons’ Category

Hurricane Irene: God’s Wrath Against Satan’s Holiday

September 19, 2011

Northeastern states are facing a jack-o’-lantern shortage this Helloween after Hurricane Irene destroyed hundreds of pumpkin patches across the region, farmers say. Boo…freaking hoo…God hates Pumpkins…We Know! Every Helloween evil Arminian Papist Islamofascists join together with Pagan Secular Humanist Satanist Evilutionist Darwinianists by setting candles in Pumpkins and lighting them near their couches so they can chant their New Age mystical prayers in an attempt to try to destroy our Holy Doctrines.

Also on that unholy night of heathenism, the unholy alliance of Roman Arminian VaticanIslamists and Athiestic Satanic Enviromentalist Communist Socialist Darwin-worshippers go from door to door yelling “Trick-or-Treat” and kidnap pregnant Bible-Believing Protestants who don’t give them candy and force them at gunpoint to abort their fetuses so that they can drink their blood while committing acts of sodomy and other fornications.

Also they practice their favorite activity of sacrificing goats, pigs, sheeps, cats and Bible-Believing Protestant children on altars built to worship their false Pumpkin god the Jack-o-Lantern while reciting satanic verses from New Age Catholic Bible Perversions in Satan’s tongue—Latin.

This is what Helloween is all about and why Pumpkins are an abomination to God. I attest to you all of this is Absolute Biblically-Correct Factual Truth and not made up by any man as: “I myself have been a forty-five year student of the satanically inspired, centuries-old conspiracy to use government, education, and media to destroy every vestige of Christianity within our society and establish a new world order. Having read at least fifty books on the Illuminati, I am convinced that it exists and can be blamed for many of man’s inhumane actions against his fellow man during the past two hundred years.”

If you don’t believe me just click on this link: Helloween-Satan’s unholyday. Thankfully you have Godly Bible-Believing Online Discernment Ministries like this one that refuse to compromise on our Pure Doctrines. We must all do our part to take a stand in our angry God’s Sovereign Wrath and the Hard Truths of the Bible in defense of our Holy Doctrines. We must expose all and warn all on the evils of Pumpkins. We must leave no hidden evil uncovered.

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Harry Potter Fans Will Be Tortured For Eternity!!!!

July 21, 2011

Harry Potter fans will burn in hell for all eternity, because Harry Potter is as evil as Rick Warren and the KKK combined. If Rick Warren is Satan-incarnate and the KKK are Rick Warren’s gay butt-sex slaves then Harry Potter is their demon infested love-child. There is nothing remotely Godly or Christian about the Harry Potter series. Hello…our sources have reason to believe that Harry Potter was created by Saddam Hussein and Obama Bin Laden in order to destroy the American Church… Hello… the Harry Potter series is full of divination, demons, witch-craft and devil-worship… Duh!!!!

Children would do better to read such Pure, Godly and True Christian literature on our Pure Doctrines such as: The Malleus Maleficarum,  The Death of Death,  A Vindication of the Doctrine that the Sacrifice of the Mass is Idolatry, The Two Babylons, etc.

New Quick And Painless Way

June 27, 2011

To Remove Jesus From Your Heart:

Have you ever asked Jesus into your heart? What about accepting Jesus as the Lord and Savior of your life? Or receiving Jesus to fill your God-shaped hole? Is Jesus more important to you than any other religious leader? If you answered yes to any of the following—congratulations you’re not even a Real and True Christian and most likely worship Satan, the Pope or Mary as your dark lord and master a False Convert.

If you have found that you were rated a False Convert—never fear Todd Friel with Brannon Howse’s help have introduced a new quick and pain-free way to reverse your status and make sure that you become a True Convert this time around. Introducing the new surgical procedure to surgically remove Jesus from False Converts’ hearts: Operation JesuScopic Surgery! Why let Jesus fool around in your heart when you can have your heart filled with the Puritan Hard Drive (PHD)—now with twice the amount of John Owen’s fatalistic arrogance!

Fanatic for Jesus calls John MacArthur’s Jesus: “New Age.”

May 20, 2011

“All those who truly love Christ and care about the truth have a solemn duty to defend the truth by exposing and opposing these lies that masquerade as truth. If we fail in that duty because of indifference, apathy, or a craving for the approval of men, we are no less guilty than those who actively spread the lies.”

~John MacArthur, Excerpt from Unholy Trinity

Donna Martin aka Fanatic For Jesus is on record as proclaiming that the Premillennial Dispensationalist’s Christ is a “New Age” Christ:

Even-though as we all know John MacArthur the Ways of the Master himself (P. B. U. H.) believes in Premillennial Dispensationalism and the Rapture. In fact John MacArthur has stated with Absolute Certitude that “Every Self-Respecting Calvinist is a Premillennial Dispensationalist Rapture Believer” so obviously Donna Martin aka Fanatic For Jesus isn’t really a Fanatic for the True Jesus of the Bible: John MacArthur’s Jesus. Repent Donna Martin aka Fanatic For Jesus before it’s too late—for the End is nigh—don’t be a fool and get Left Behind with the unregenerate non-Elect heathen reprobates and Postmodern Unbelievers…believe in Premillennial Dispensationalism and the Rapture or Else! By the way it’s not too late to stock up on our fine and quality John MacArthur approved hand-crafted RaptureHatches before the Rapture occurs this Saturday.

John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) Will Get You Rapture Ready For Saturday!

May 19, 2011

John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) unlike Brian McLaren and his Emerging Babylonian hordes never falls prey to the winds of ear-tickling doctrines. This is because Saint John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) keeps his doctrines so Purer than anyone else’s that he can never fail at being the True Truth Warrior of Absolute Biblical Truth that he Truly is. Take the Pure Biblical Doctrine of the Rapture for instance—John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) has said: “It’s become kind of popular today, in the last two or three years, to believe in the rapture occurring at the end of the tribulation. There has been three positions, historically, “pre-trib,” “mid-trib,” and “post-trib.” What that means is the rapture occurs at the end of the tribulation: “post-tribulation;” the middle of the tribulation: “mid-tribulation;” the beginning of the tribulation: “pre-tribulation.” Now if you wanted to catalog me I would have to claim to be a “pre-tribulationist.” I believe the Church will be taken out before the tribulation.

Of course because Truth Matters, we all know that the Rapture is Pure Biblical Teaching and not a man-made invention by a deluded Scottish teenager unlike Brian McLaren’s heretical notion that the Kingdom of God is present in the world and within us. Phil Johnson and the Pyromaniacs agree as John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) has also said after being questioned about his Premillenial Dispensationalist Rapture beliefs:

Questioner: I am concern about Dispensationalism, I have been listening to Charles Swindoll, yourself and Dave Hawking, I really enjoy their ministry. And they all preach the pre-tribulation rapture, and I can buy that. I think it’s great. And then I hear some other respected men in the Lord say, “Well that is a dispensational point of view,” and they imply that that is something that has taken place within the last hundred years or so within the church. I just like to hear a little from you.

John MacArthur’s Answer: You see, that is just a label that they throw. What do you mean a dispensational point of view? The word dispensation is a NT word, Paul said “It was committed unto him the dispensation of the grace of God, dispensation of the mysteries.” It simply means a stewardship, it’s simply a term, that’s all. This is the accusation over and over again that Dispensationalism popped up with J. N. Darby, and C. I. Scofield, and all of that? But we are not working our way through a system, but rather attempting to interpret scripture on its own merit.

Ok, you have some basic things to deal with. Dispensationalism, by the way, is simply a title for theology that recognizes a literal nation Israel to be restored in the future. And recognizes a literal kingdom, and a literal tribulation, and a literal return, and a literal rapture, and that is dispensational. The other perspective is what’s called non-dispensational or covenant theology, which has no place for Israel, no kingdom in the future, and spiritualizes everything rather than making it literal.

Now, what you have to do is to go back to some very basic things. Dispensation simply means that God manages things in a certain way at a certain time. Everybody is a dispensationalist, everybody. I don’t care who they are in theology, they’re dispensational.

Elsewhere John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) has defined Every Self-Respecting Calvinist as a Premillennial Dispensationalist—in other words all True Christians are Premillenial Dispensationalist Rapture believers like John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) and Harold Camping. We hope this helps get you Rapture Ready for the Rapture and Judgement Day this Saturday—oh and don’t forget to buy one of our handy dandy RaptureHatches to be prepared… so  don’t get Left Behind with the unregenerate non-Elect heathens… be Rapture Ready with our Final Prophet John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.).

Jerks For Jesus (Our Valued Patrons) Judgmentalize Japan

March 16, 2011

 

Did Japan deserve the tsunami, specifically, and the painful afterplay?  No way, no how.  Japan deserves far worse.  Japan is a pagan, idolatrous, perverted nation full of pagan, idolatrous, perverted people.  Perverted, pagan idolatry is sin, and sin must be punished.  God will not be patient with sin and sinners forever.  Comparably-minor judgments like these are mere foreshadowings and tastes of the judgment to come.  I believe that the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor was a sin as well, in and of itself, and as such deserves punishment and judgment.  Even if the attack were justified, it is impossible to argue that it was carried out with 100% pure motives and in 100% pure ways. —Rhoblogy

We are so proud of our faithful student Rhoblogy—why he is almost the judgmentalist that we are and we are twice the judgementalists than Ken Silva yet not quite the judgmentalists that Sharin’ Whiplash is. Rhoblogy is so astute in his judgmentalism that he sets standards that would even confound our great and affectionate Uncle the great and all-powerful Pastor-Teacher to the Internet congregation of the True Remnant himself.

We agree with Rhoblogy for as Todd Friel’s pal has said echoing John MacArthur’s Pure Truth War Doctrines©®™:

A simple reading of the Bible shows how God uses natural disasters to further his purposes. Earthquakes, floods, famine, locusts, etc. they’re all there, but man hates it. Rather than humbly acknowledging that God’s ways are not our ways, man rails against and accuses God. The last thing they will do is cry out for his mercy in Jesus Christ.

We also like Rhoblogy are no friends of sinners or the Japanese for as Al Mohler says: “God hates sin/sinners, and will punish both individual sinners and nations.”—therefore we also hate sickos, perverts, reprobate nations, sinners and people in general unless they are just like us or believe exactly like us in the same way that we do (except on rare occaisions when we must discernmentalize ourselves and other Discernmentalists).

Think Just Like Us Or Else:

January 31, 2011

Our Truth War against (Ana)Baptists and Everyone Else

July 12, 2010

We must continue to stand firm in our Truth War ways. We  mustn’t rest until as many people and people groups who don’t bow down to our Pure Doctrines are all slandered, libeled and lied about exposed to the Truth of the Purity of our Doctrines. This is the Truth War after all and we must use any means necessary to preach the Good News that God hates sinners so much and is so angry at them that He is threatening to pour down His Wrath upon anyone who doesn’t  obey the Law of our Pure Doctrines at any moment just like the Ways of the Master John MacArthur himself does.

As noble Truth Warriors we believe the following:

“GOD HATES EVERYONE EXCEPT US” — though elliptical — is a profound theological statement, which the world needs to hear more than it needs oxygen, water and bread. The three words, fully expounded, show:

  1. the absolute sovereignty of “GOD” in all matters whatsoever (e.g., Jeremiah 32:17, Isaiah 45:7, Amos 3:6, Proverbs 16:4, Matthew 19:26, Romans 9:11-24, Romans 11:33-36, etc.),
  2. the doctrine of reprobation or God’s “HATE” involving eternal retribution or the everlasting punishment of most of mankind in Hell forever (e.g., Leviticus 20:13,23, Psalm 5:5, Psalm 11:5, Malachi 1:1-3, Romans 9:11-13, Matthew 7:13,23, John 12:39-40, 1 Peter 2:8, Jude 4, Revelation 13:8, 20:15, 21:27, etc.), and
  3. the certainty that all impenitent “people who disagree with our beliefs” (under the elegant metaphor of “EVERYONE EXCEPT US” fueling the fires of God’s wrath) will inevitably go to Hell (e.g., Romans 1:18-32, 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, 1 Timothy 1:8-11, Jude 7, etc.).

We Discernmentalists and Truth Warriors are the only true followers of God’s word! Everyone else WILL be damned to burn in eternal Hell fire!

We do not need scripture to verify this statement. We have heard it from God himself! Repent! (everyone else but us) For you have sinned! You have been born different from us, and this is an abomination unto God for which your souls WILL be damned!

And remember the Absolute Truth of our Pure Doctrines will save you!

Message To Emergent-Evolutionist Bible Monkey!

July 5, 2010

Recently our Commenting Robot Monkeys have come under attack so that they’ve become too lazy and have fallen down on the job and haven’t  been doing their duty of commenting on our posts for us. We have traced the source of these attacks and they are from noneother than the one they call the Evil Emergent-Evolutionist Bible Monkey person. Yes we know it was you Emergent-Evolutionist Bible Monkey and your absurd questions  and attacks on our Godly Discernmentalist Ministries and we have a message for you:

                                                                                                         

P. S. Add this Godly Discernmentalist Ministry Site to your not a Blogroll or else face the full fury of our God’s Absolute Sovereign Wrath as well as our own self-Righteous, Holy Pious anger and hatred.

Hunting Season For Liberals Officially Begins!

May 14, 2010

    

(Gloom And Despair News: a subsidiary of GOIP Media Dominion Corporation as distributed by Outhouse Fails Publishing, Inc.) —-  Discernmentalists head to hunting ranges all across America now that Liberal Hunting Season has begun. Steve Camp of Camp On This Gloom and Disparaging Ministries has promised to reward the first True Bible-Believing  Fundamentalist Conservative/Republican Calvinist Christian to bag over a hundred liberals with a prize of an authentic tissue paper used by none other than our very own Ken Silva. The tissue paper is bound to become a  True Discernmentalist collector’s item. Camp has indeed verified that the tissue has really been used by Ken Silva for it is so full of ego and Absolute Truth. The tissue also comes complete with a certificate of authenticity.

Camp is on record as saying there are no limits on who may be considered a liberal. Any and all groups other than Confessional Dortian Calvinists are to be considered too liberal to be Truly Biblical and most importantly even Truly Christian. Most or all groups that are considered too liberal to Truly be Christian are dark evil reprobated heathen unregenerate hell-bound apostates as Camp goes on to further state :

To paraphrase former President Ronald Reagan’s words when speaking of communism:

“Open Theism, Universalism, Mormonism, Romanism, the Emergent Church, Jehovah Witnesses, Pragmaticism, Syncretism, Word of Faith, New Perspective of Paul, Libertarian Free Will, Socinianism, the Social Gospel, and Sabellianism is foreign to heaven, where they’ve never had part in it; and is welcome in hell, where they’ve already got it.” (Source).

In related news, Brannon Howse and Todd Friel have teamed up and have pledged their support for an upcoming Anti-Glenn Beck /Anti-Social Gospel Rally. At the moment, all the details are still in the open. We’ll let you know when and if any futher details come to light or as soon as any  future developments are made available.