Archive for the ‘True Bible-Believing Christians’ Category

Legacy: The Late Ken Silva Wanted To Rename Southern Baptist Convention newly rediscovered documents reveal

December 3, 2019

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Quote the late Ken Silva: “As one who was ordained as an SBC pastor in the mid-90s I kind of agree that a name change for the SBC would help clarify where this denomination is currently at. Filled as it is with leaders who don’t have to lead, hiding as they do behind its Idol of Autonomy, the SBC’s becoming anything goes.”
(Source: Apprising Ministries)

How dare those Southern Baptists believe in Baptist doctrine! We must most mightily put a stop to this. While we’re at it we must put a stop to the SBC’s Idol of Credobaptism as well. Anything goes in this Truth War, right? As we all know the Roman Catholic Church and the Reformers taught that Infant Baptism is the only correct way to baptize. How dare those Southern Baptists lack Doctrinal Purity in their man-centered idolatry of baptizing believers!

We must also bring back State Churches… who needs to keep religion and government separate anyways? We most greatfully thank you our late Affectionate Uncle Ken for being in the front-lines in getting our important message across that God wants America to be enslaved to theocratic tyranny. Rushdoony, David Barton and the great and all powerful Worldview Weekend couldn’t have done as great a work as he did.

We vote that we also place statues of Spurgeon and the great General and Holiest Apostle of our Truth War: our Pope of all Truth John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) in the sanctuary of every Southern Baptist church. Phil Johnson agrees and Rhoblogy adds that a statue or two of James White—“Rockstar” wouldn’t hurt as that would provide extra protection from Doctrinal corruption. Speaking of Spurgeon whom Discernmentalists love to quote from ala our late Uncle in Discernmentalism—our Research Robot Monkeys discovered that he was doctrinally impure so he might not be as great as Phil and his John, son!

Personally the ODMafia moves to change the SBC’s name to Saved By Calvinism as only Calvinism saves not Jesus.

Truth-Busters!

November 27, 2019

“When there’s a truth to be busted… who you gonna call?”

Introducing our newest film of Discernmentalized proportions Truth-Busters from GOIP Productions starring the Online Discernmentalist Mafia’s very own Truthslayer and our recent ODMU graduate

It’s gonna be tough measuring the “size of the problem” when there are thought-criminals like me who recognize that “hate crime” is nothing more than naked thought-policing. It is 100% politically motivated; it’s meant to silence dissent; and, while it has largely been successful, it has exposed the escalating Bolshevization of the Left, through both corrupted formerly credible organizations like SPLC, ADL and ACLU (all of which are now just as hysterical and partisan as the laughable John Birch Society) and hyperpartisan propaganda outlets, like Religion News Service. Meanwhile, with rightwing extremism kept in check by “watchdogs” like the aforementioned, leftwing exremism is, by comparison, allowed to flourish, so that it manifests itself all the way up to the tippy-top, with unchecked radicals in Congress proposing ridiculously out-of-touch policy positions not in alignment with more than a fraction of the country. And if these zealots on the left won’t even listen to their popular predecessor Barack Obama, why should they listen to all the other indicators that tell them they’re the ones losing their minds? Instead they cling to willful fictions like “mah hate speech”!

Oh, and Heather Heyer was looking for a fight. She got one. Her aggressor deserves to go to prison for his awful behavior, but Team Heather was just as bellicose and ideologically possessed. They are not good people. Both sides.

Truthslayer rallies the pack using his newly invented Most Obvious Right-wing Oxydizing Necrons (MORON)-Packs to put down the ghost of Shane Claiborne’s lost dog Stoner and Whiner. Later (in a cameo) El Sandi joins the team as the Truth-Busters‘ secretary. El Sandi answers a call about a perceived hate-crime (which turns out to be a prank from an escaped Whiner): “”and I know how devastating it can be to feel like you don’t even have the dignity of being a hate crime statistic.” If that is one’s focus after what they consider a hate crime, perhaps they overreacted? If you want to get beyond the “epidemic of hate” then quit looking for it. You taught your daughter to disrespect people in authority doing their jobs, don’t teach her to look for problems where there may be none, except in your insecurities. Hate is in the eye of the beholder – it is relative…good day Whiner.”

In the climax of the film the Stay Put Know-Your-Place Man a golem of the Status Quo accused of being an Antifa phantom begins to terrorize the Truth-Busters leading Lauren to exclaim: “Yes, I draw the same conclusion about the eminent threat of left-wing terrorism (or alt-left-adjacent attacks) every time there’s a new clip on YouTube of “the knockout game”. It’s really the best way to navigate through life.” In the end the Truth-Busters take down Stay Put and contain the Emergent Red-Letter Christian hordes in their Emergent Red-Letter Christian Organizers (ERCO) Containment Unit causing an environmental disaster on a Biblical scale. The end?

 

“JMac (PBUH) member of ISIS”: Brannon Howse says!

November 22, 2019

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The falling away of Brannon Howse continues as he named John MacArthur the Pope of all Truth (PBUH) a member of ISIS: “MacArthur’s ministry defended… (the) Muslim Brotherhood (and a) Jihadi-preaching Imam by the name of Yasir Qadhi.”—Brannon Howse

How the mightiest of our fellow Truth Warriors have fallen and turned against us in our battle for our Truth and the Pureness of our Doctrine. Thankfully none of our Truth ministries have turned on fellow believers and have attacked them for years even writing books slandering them with false accusations and hearsay under the title of “ministry.”

Once again we must take a stand against Brannon and call him to repent if he is able! We’re turning against him till he repents.

Setting the standard so get over it,

Don Jobson

 

Under Attack… The Motto of all Truth Warriors

November 19, 2019

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Any assault on truth is an assault against God, His Word and His Church. This is why we ought to take heresy very seriously and we ought to purge unrepentant heretics from among us.

This is the motto of any Discernmentalist and Truth Warrior worth his salt. In fact we are always under attack because of the greatness of our doctrines and the Truthiness of our Truth. I repeat “we are ALWAYS under attack. That is our default. Our worldview revolves around us being right, and you being in horrendous error (always). We need to believe people are out to attack us, subvert our ministry or church….obviously because our doctrines are so pure that they are bound to be viciously undermined. We are the Online Discernment Remnant!!!!”

Though there are some among us who are too compromising in our doctrines because of their weak minds—they’ve become one with the Evanjellyfish church. We must take a HARD stance and purge them from our midst as we’re sick of those so called “discernment” ministries that are pretty wishy-washy. Ministries that start off unambiguously, with phrases like “remarkable fact” and “all the heresies”. But end wishy-washy with phrases such as: “have had a decided tendency”, indicating that some of the heresies have not. To me, this makes the “fact” less meaningful. That is all!

 

Days Of ElSandi’s Lies

November 11, 2019

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A GOIP and ODMafia co-production—what Christian Research Network describes as “the Greatest Soap Opera of our Times!” In it ElSandi begins discernmentalizing all and correcting them with her lies Discernmentalist Truth such as:

” When evangelical Christians talk about religious liberty, they mean it for everyone but Muslims. ” There are more cults than just muslim”“Women standing with women. That’s what I wanted to see,” she explained in “Same God.”” Except it is not the same God. Jesus doesn’t suggest that people kill Jews or Christians, or homosexuals, or people who leave the cult,

“It also remains a flashpoint for those who call the hijab oppressive or religiously unnecessary, pointing to the societies where modest dressing is forced.” – or FGM is practiced

How dare anyone suggest muslimen and Christians worship the same God—don’t they know that Allah is Arabic for God? Don’t they know that God (Allah) is the God of Abraham the Father of many nations? Don’t they know that Allah in the Bible Quran commanded gays to be stoned to death in Leviticus 20:13? And that Jesus Allah commands those that refuse to worship Him as King be put to death before Him in Luke 19:27? Or that only Muslims practice FGM like the Copts and Beta Israel? Find out the Discernmentalist Truth about these and much much more in Days Of ElSandi’s Lies!

Only Married Jewish Men With Children Have God’s Mandate To Preach

October 23, 2019

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Solo Scriptura. The whole Bible. Be real and stop your deception. Either follow the whole Bible or leave the Christian faith. I do not want a cut and paste faith. That is no faith at all. Bearing this in mind we’ve put together this handy test to tell if you’re allowed to preach or not.

How to tell if you are allowed to preach or not:

Are you a male or female?

  • Female then you’re disqualified 1 Timothy 2:12 Solo Scriptura. The whole Bible.

Are you a Jew or Gentile?

  • Gentile then you’re disqualified as God only ever called Jews to preach in the Bible not Gentiles* Matthew 10:5-6 also all His disciples were Jews not Gentiles Solo Scriptura. The whole Bible.

Are you single or married?

  • Single then you’re disqualified 1 Timothy 3:2 Solo Scriptura. The whole Bible.

Have you been divorced and/or remarried?

  • Yes then you’re disqualified 1 Timothy 3:2  Solo Scriptura. The whole Bible.

Do you have a child or children?

  • 1 child/1 child and 1 on the way then you’re disqualified 1 Timothy 3:12 the Teaching is Clear children (plural not singular) Solo Scriptura. The whole Bible.

*Does that mean our Beloved Pope (PBUH) is forbidden from preaching being a Gentile and should go home? Certainly not as he’s inerrant and exempt from all rules.

Beth Moore Go Home!!!?

October 21, 2019

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Todd Friel begins the discussion by saying Beth Moore’s name and asks John MacArthur to say a word that comes to mind after saying her name. What does he say, you ask?

“GO HOME!!!”

The audience roared with laughter. It’s apparent that the audience also has an opinion on Beth Moore and feel it’s okay to laugh at his demeaning comment. “Dr.” John MacArthur adds, “There’s no case that can be made biblically for a woman preacher – period – paragraph – end of discussion.”

Of course our Pope of all Truth (PBUH) is correct as his Holy Study Bible (PBUI) makes clear there’s no case for women preachers period. Especially not:

Acts 2:17 New Revised Standard Version (NRSV)- ‘In the last days it will be, God declares,
that I will pour out my Spirit upon all flesh,
and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy (aka preach),
and your young men shall see visions,
and your old men shall dream dreams.

Which speaks of women prophesying—another word for preaching as made clear in the beloved translation of internet Calvinists everywhere—the ESV: “Micah 2:6 “Do not preach”—thus they preach—one should not preach of such things; disgrace will not overtake us.” (ESV). “Do we really believe God’s Word or only when it agrees with us?” Do we really believe that words written by men and interpreted by men are God’s Words? Yes–yes we do as God-ordained Truth-Warriors we must—which is why:

We’re so thankful that the women at the Empty Tomb weren’t the ones who preached the Good News (Gospel) that Jesus rose from the dead—according to our Most Illustrious Most Holy Most Infallible Most Inerrant Pope over the Truth War John MacArthur (PBUH) and His Holy Anointed Study Bible (PBUI) which even corrects the errors of the Reformers and the Bible itself—making it line up more with Discernmentalist Truth as we know the True Good News is God’s Wrath towards our enemies. We agree with:

Ms. Moore can teach to women, but not to men. If a man chooses to listen that is his choice. That is biblical. A church should not allow a woman to preach/teach at its weekly gathering, but may allow a woman to speak at a special gathering. That is biblical. 1 Corinthians 11:3 says it all. [This should never equally apply to our Pope of All Truth (PBUH)].

However we believe our Pope (PBUH) and fellow Discernmentalists haven’t gone far enough as in fact there’s no case that can be made biblically for a woman reading the Bible let alone even holding one either. Period – paragraph – end of discussion—which is why we being True Bible-Believing Truth-Warring Internet Calvinist Discernmentalists mandate that women shouldn’t even own a Bible as per our concerns (with Trish of Fish With Trish):

We are greatly concerned here for many reasons. First of all why would any Godly woman ever read the Bible—an oxymoron of terms—for as the Apostle Paul proclaimed: “Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.” Secondly, we must Absolutely forbid women reading the Bible under any circumstances just in case she slips up and reads a passage of Scripture aloud…  in front of men and women… say like Romans 1:18-32 and therefore ‘usurps authority over man’ by preaching the Gospel to them.

If women want to know what the Bible says, they should find a man whose feet they can sit under and ‘learn in quiet submission’… especially if that man is the greatest Man of God in our Age of uncertainty, our Pope of the Truth War John MacArthur (P. B. U. H). Thirdly, we mustn’t ever let any woman share the Gospel as that leads to the slippery-slope of female Pastors preaching the Gospel and as we all know preaching/sharing the Gospel is a Divinely mandated role for males only.

Ray Comfort (Awesome) warns Bibliophiles the same as Pedophiles

May 18, 2019

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Evidence of Bibliophilia: Here a Book assaults an un-expectant innocent young lady.

Ray Comfort (Awesome) another defender of our Mighty Truth especially against the atheist hordes—deposited nuggets of Comfort (Awesome) while working with us on our sin-free Arthur episode. Ray (Awesome) Hell’s Best Kept Secret told us that Bibliophiles are the same as pedophiles: “Bibliophile noun a cross between a paedophile and the Bible.” Ray Comfort (Awesome) also gave us this advice on what to look out for in banning sinners from commenting on our Blogs: “If you call any other Christian on this page a ‘bibliophile’ I will ban you.” Ray (Awesome) also went on to state that: “I thought it was just another atheist insult, a cross between pedophile and Bible. My sincere apologies. Still learning. Best wishes.”

Ray (Awesome) we believed you have slipped in apologizing to that atheist as Discernmentalists we should never apologize for speaking our the Truth. If anything that atheist should apologize to you for insulting your intelligence—we know bibliophiles are the same as pedophiles. We have shocking evidence that bibliophiles are assaulting children with books—{click link: [HERE] (Warning Graphic Imagery)}. We believe this lapse in self-righteousness is due to the Eastern Mysticism we caught him practicing when he recited Bible verses in a Triadic liturgical mantra against our Clear Teachings against such.

On a related note—Mrs. Jobson has gotten use to the smell of her mothball necklace that protects her from the feminist attacks of Mothra priestesses. She gave a few to our children and really recommends mothballs for protection against bibliophiles as they’ve stopped the attacks from atheist bibliophiles like Disney molesting our kids with strange books.

Book Review Of The Month: Doug Wilson’s RapeGod!

May 11, 2019

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“A man  penetrates, conquers, colonizes, plants. A woman receives, surrenders, accepts.”—Doug Wilson

We’re reviewing book reviews in our local Discernmentalist Book Club this month and this one particular ear-tickling Postmodern unbeliever’s book review of the great Doug Wilson (Neo-Confederate Rape-apologist)‘s wonderfully Biblically accurate book on human relations as defined by God RapeGod made us laugh:

It isn’t fair to critique a book I haven’t read. That being said, the title and the contents offend me right from the start. “RapeGod”: It doesn’t take a genius to observe our current culture and the trashiness that exists–and this “author” will join together in a title what humans have abused with the One who created it (to be enjoyed within the confines of marriage)?

Have some RESPECT for the holy God!! The Jews, out of reverence for God won’t even type or write out his name as we do. They will use G-d!

And the name of the chapters: “God Wears Lipstick”, “Leather, Whips and Fruit”, “Whoopee Forever”. No further comment.

Just read the Bible! See our sin, and how a Holy God cannot have fellowship (connection) with sin, and how he provided redemption Rev. 5:9 “with your blood you purchased men for God”. Read Revelation and how God has a future in Heaven, perfect, free from sin. Rev 4:8: “Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty…”.

Whoopee forever? Not. Worship God forever, oh yes!

First Mr. Ear Tickles attacks a core Doctrine of Discernmentalism: reviewing books we haven’t even read and then attacking said books on our Mighty Truth Warrior Blogs—by accusing them of promoting heresy based on a blurb we read online or a video preview. Also the Hard Truths of our Truth War Gospel will always offend those with itching ears looking for a feel-good watered-down sissified Socialist heretically liberal gospel like Emergents preach. Secondly Doug Wilson (Neo-Confederate rape-apologist) only writes on the trashiness of our current culture in order to warn readers of the dangers of our many enemies who attack our Pure Doctrines of Biblical Manhood and womanhood like Emergents; socialists; progressives; Rock music; hippies; Harry Potter; liberals; mystics; video games; the “Emerging” Village People; queerosexuals; femimarxists; girliemen; Ken and Barbie dolls; Pokémon; Santa Claus; the Easter Bunny; aliens; Bigfoot; etc. He only wants to protect women as this quote from the book demonstrates:

If a woman were responsible to submit to men in general, her life would be unbearable no one can serve two masters. But a woman who is responsive to a godly man is protected from having to submit to other men, most of whom are less than godly. She consequently has a great deal more liberty than a woman who not protected in this way. Thus the so-called “independent” woman is not under any kind of protection. She is truly on her own, but with the result being that she is buffeted about by all sorts of men. But if her father were doing what he ought to do, or if she were in a marriage relationship where the husband was doing what he ought to do, she would be protected from the insults and harassment of men in general This explains why some of the most “independent” women are so insecure, and why some of the most submissive women have a real security and strength of mind. Women inescapably need godly masculine protection against ungodly masculine harassment; women who refuse protection from their fathers and husbands must seek it from the police. But women who genuinely insist on “no masculine protection” are really women who tacitly agree on the propriety of rape. Whenever someone sets himself to go against God’s design, horrible problems will always result. The Bible says that we find the way to true self-discovery through self-surrender. Those who exalt themselves are humbled, and vice versa. In the feminist movement over the last several decades, women have been looking for (and have not yet found) themselves. This is because they have been trying to find and identify their role apart from God’s design. The beauty of biblical courtship is that it never leaves women unprotected. (RapeGod pg. 13)

Were Mr. Ear Tickles who we now suspect is a fememergent plant serious about reviewing this classic by Doug Wilson (Neo-Confederate rape-apologist) he would have already known that via Bible-based osmosis. Next his terrible review accuses Doug (Neo-Confederate rape-apologist) of disrespecting the God of the Bible.  How can this be—when Doug (Neo-Confederate rape-apologist) has spent his whole life defending Absolute Biblical Truth such as the Confederacy’s Divine Right to own slaves and commit Treason on account of States’ Rights.  Doug Wilson (Neo-Confederate rape-apologist) has more respect for the God of the Bible than quasi-Universalist mystic emergence guru Rob Bell and the once sex-obsessed Mark Driscoll combined. Here’s proof— later the book stated:

Male authority is an erotic necessity. In order to make love, a man must be hard and the woman soft. This is not just a physiological detail, but a metaphor for their whole relationship. Feminists, having demanded soft men, have discovered that it is beyond exasperating to be locked in a rape fantasy with some Caspar Milquetoast. Ravish me! she pleads with her eyes. Let’s go down to the aquarium, he says, and look at the endangered species exhibit. If you are going to go for soft, then another woman makes better sense. Lesbianism, it turns out, has an internal logic. (RapeGod pgs.142–143)

Next if one’s not willing to write God’s name out then one never believed in God to begin with (by the way God’s name is God as distinguished from other gods or a god like Allah). Also we caught Mr. Ear Tickle lying as he read the chapter titles—so much for not reading the book like a True Discernmentalist book-reviewer does. Here we agree with the ear-tickler to read the Bible but only if its an ODM-approved Bible such as the AV1611 King James or our Truth War Pope’s Glorious Study Bibles. Speaking of our Truth War that book is required reading for all True Truth Warriors—otherwise how will we know which truths of ours are always being attacked that we are called to ever-defend?

Before his concluding remarks Mr. Ear-Tickler mentions the Trinity without shewing how RapeGod by Doug Wilson (Semi-Arian slavery-apologist) defends the unBiblically unorthodox Orthodox Doctrine of Christ’s subordination to the Father in the Godhead just like a woman is subordinate to her father first and then her husband which is exactly nothing at all like the Arian heresy that Christ is subordinate to the Father in the Godhead. One final thought on RapeGod is Doug (Semi-Arian slavery-apologist)‘s warning from it’s epilogue which is why it is highly recommended by Discernmentalists:

Comes now some academic bloviation to help us all through whatever remaining prejudices we might have had about the molestation of children (HT: Baylyblog & Frank Turk). At issue is the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), which is still, even in these postmodern times, filled with hatred and outmoded forms of discriminatory malice. It appears that pedophilia and hebephilia are still listed as disorders, and boy, do we have some work to do! You know, addressing all that hatred.

For those just joining us, the days are coming when the only entry left in the DSM will be the then outlawed practice of intercourse in the missionary position by a heterosexual married couple.

Dr. I. Todyaso of ODMafia fame called to fact check Babylon Bee

May 7, 2019

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Daily Bunker ODMs Express— Our very own Dr. I. Todyaso named Head Researcher and Fact Checker for Babylon Bee after they pledged to support us in being #1 in Absolute Truth; Alt-facts; journalism and Fake News in Discernmentalism. Quote: “We look forward to our new partnership in helping us spread our Truth War Pope’s Absolute Truth (PBUI) to more people and helping us fight the good fight in lying; slandering as well as falsely accusing others of heresy by spreading misinformation and made up quotes about them. Before the Babylon Bee there was only us and our mentor the late Ken Silva—we were lone voices in the wilderness calling out all those sliding off the True Path set before us by Calvin; purified by the Puritans and perfected by our Pope John MacArthur (PBUH). We’d like to think we taught the Bee everything we know.”—Dr. I. Todyaso of the Online Discernmentalist Mafia.

Will this match be made in heaven? We can only hope so as more people need to be exposed to the Purity of Discernmentlism’s Doctrines. Certainly the Babylon Bee and the ODMafia share the same sense of humor Doctrinal Clarity in common as this news report of theirs makes clear:

John MacArthur, pastor of Grace Community Church and president of The Master’s College and Seminary, has made a lofty promise to his congregation. He has reportedly committed to building a 20-foot thick, 30-foot high concrete wall around the entire perimeter of the church campus in order to keep out charismatics that might otherwise infiltrate their ranks.

“I will build a great wall, God willing. And I’ll build it very biblically. I will build a great, great wall all around our campus—and I’ll make the Pentecostals pay for it. Mark my words,” MacArthur was quoted as saying Friday.

—Tyrone V. Hoofendorfer for the Online Discernmentalist Mafia on Daily Bunker ODMs Express.