Posts Tagged ‘Newsworthy’

ODM News: “Al Mohler Emerges as a Socialist.”

October 8, 2011

We were horrified when our Research Robot Monkeys caught one of our own spouting anti-Rich hate messages. We would expect this unholy abomination from Leftist Liebral Red-Letter Universalist Sinfully Ecumenical Semi-Pelagian Emergerants preaching their Social(ist) gospels but never from a True Bible-Believing Christian. We mustn’t stand for this as Jan Markell says:

In many Bibles, all the words of Jesus are in red. There is nothing wrong with that. But something is wrong when Leftist Christians or so-called Christians want to mute the words of Paul and other writers and only follow Jesus’ words. They call themselves “red-letter Christians.”

Some who believe this way practice a form of neo-Marxism and others would call it “Christian Marxism” — an oxymoron if there ever was one. They note that the early church shared everything (socialism). A close cousin to this is “liberation theology.”

Thanks to our Research Robot Monkeys—here for all the world to see is Al Mohler’s unholy abomination in all of it’s sinful apostasy:

I am writing this essay on an Apple laptop computer. I am listening to the strains of Bach playing from my iPad via an AirPort Express. My iPhone sits on my desk, downloading a new App from iTunes. Steve Jobs has invaded my life, my house, my office, my car, and my desktop — and I am thankful for all of these technologies.

But unerring taste, aesthetic achievement, and technological genius will not save the world. Christians know what the world does not — that the mother tending her child, the farmer planting his crops, the father protecting his family, the couple faithfully living out their marital vows, the factory worker laboring to support his family, and the preacher preparing to preach the Word of God are all doing far more important work.

We have to measure life by its eternal impact, even as we are thankful for every individual who makes this world a better place. But, don’t expect eternal impact to be the main concern of the business pages.—Al Mohler

Clearly this is an attack on Rich business owners and Big Business. Any attack on Big Business is Socialism. Saying that factory workers laboring to support their families are more important than Rich business owners is to side with the Labor Unions. Supporting Labor Unions is Big Labor and taking a stand for Big Labor and the common workers is Communistic Socialism.

Emerging Shark Possibly Indentified!

September 23, 2011

“We saw the shark’s nose emerge and then the man just vanished. It was very sudden, then the animal just swam off. ”

Update: Apprising Ken Silva News ReportsEmerging Church Shark spotted swimming deep in the Indian Ocean earlier this morning. Authorities say be on the look out for any sign of “tall hair” breaking the surface of the water in your area. You may also know an Emerging Shark by his or her lack of Doctrinal convictions. Quote Phil Johnson:

“If you happen to read the book [Beliefs of Emerging Churches – Five Perspectives], let me know if Kimball’s chapter strikes you the same way it struck me. Not only does it seem like Kimball has not really thought his position through very carefully; I got the distinct impression he wouldn’t really care to give it much more serious thought. Frankly, the message that comes across in that chapter is that he really doesn’t want to be bothered with doctrine. Like a lot of postmodern church members, he doesn’t seem to have the stomach for propositional theology …

“Even the most conservative voices in the Emerging Church movement face this problem to some degree, because although they might not be self-consciously postmodern in their own thinking, they are too concerned with keeping ‘the conversation’ going. Once someone abandons his or her doctrinal convictions to the degree Kimball advocates and embraces ‘the conversation’ as a primary goal instead, the commandment in Jude 3 (‘Contend earnestly for the faith which was once for all delivered to the saints’) becomes next to impossible to obey …”
– Philip Johnson

John Calvin “Frisked” At Liberty and Grace Reformed Church

September 21, 2011

Pastor Steven Dilday in echo of George W. Bush’s “Patriot Act” opts to create the first ever “Clergy Act” in an attempt to root out all those spiritual terrorists who dare to partake in the sins of the Whore of Babylon—the Scarlet Mother of all Harlots: the Roman Catholic Cult by wearing robes and stoles to preach. Quote Steven Dilday: “this is the most pressing and urgent of issues of our time—we should hold the theology of those who wear vestments in the pulpit suspect.” One of the first victims of Pastor Dilday’s Clergy Act was a John Calvin impersonator who was held suspect for looking too sinisterly like a Jesuit gestapo in his black robes:

We most mightily thank Pastor Dilday for bringing this clear and most important teaching on one  of  “the most pressing and urgent of issues of our time.” Why if a John Calvin impersonator can be held theologically suspect then we must also hold the real Calvin theologically suspect! On a related note—Pastor Dilday elsewhere declared that Calvinists should abandon Calvin for not being Truly Refomed and Calvinistic enough. We agree as Calvin was a little too Semi-Pelagian for our tastes and did not hold to the Truth of the Ways of our Master.

Remember this is a Truth War after-all so we must hold everyone accountable to ourStandard of ourTruth of ourPure Doctrines. Thankfully you have this humble Truly Reformed Bible-Believing Truth War Discernment Ministry to Take A Stand in ourDoctrines on “this most pressing and urgent of issues of our time.” We here at this ministry are all about grace and nothing but Grace… in fact we are the most Grace-loving man-hating site on the net. We would never ever heap the burden of the Law upon you or preach anything like a Works-Salvation unlike those Grace-hating man-glorfiying Catholic-worshippers. We just expect you to keep ourRules lest we deem you unworthy of God’s Grace and therefore unfit for the Kingdom.

So Liberty and Grace To You, God’s Only Elect in the Great Grace of the wide and loving mercy of our Angry God’s Sovereign Hate and Wrath.

—————————–

Update # 1: Martin Luther wore vestments clearly he must have hated liberty and grace for partaking in the sin of the Papists.

Update # 2: We caught one of our own Ken Silva wearing a bathrobe… he must be on the Road to Rome. Now we must put his site under surveillance.

Update # 3: Johnathan Edwards wore a clerical collar… a clear perversion of the Doctrines of Grace.

Update # 4: We wiretapped Ken Silva’s phone and overheard Ken talking with Chris Rosebrough (an avowed Lutheran) and Ingrid of SOL/Crosstalk (a possible Lutheran). Now we must really put his site under surveillance as now we really have reason to suspect that he is Emerging into Rome.

Update # 5: Oh horror of horrors… the Ways of the Master himself caught preaching sans coat and tie in a Rick Warrenesque shirt. He’s one step closer to Rick Warren’s heretical Purpose-Driven Agenda.

Ordination Of Women Causes Your Home To Be Robbed

September 20, 2011



“This is the fullest and most informative analysis available, and no one will be able to deny the cumulative strength of the case this author makes.” – J.I. Packer

Clearly this is why we all must take a stand against women preaching. Why I just heard the other day that a female pastor was preaching in a liberal apostate church and caused the whole congregation to contract AIDS. Ken Silva was there so of course this must be True. Speaking of Ken Silva a church that Ken frequently attends had this to say about women in the church:

The Bible teaches that women are not to speak in church. This is an apostolic rule that is based on the created order. The fact that our society is in rebellion against the biblical teaching regarding women does not make the Bible obsolete; it makes us who adopt the world’s values shameful and dishonoring to the Lord.

While we’re at it we should forbid women from sneezing in church as I heard from a colleague of our Truth War that a woman sneezed in his church and Satan appeared out of the drainpipe and started flinging feces around. As you can see my facts are correct as Ken Silva would approve. This is how dangerous even letting a woman breathe in church is. As John MacArthur says: “Wouldn’t it be bad to have a few women teachers and preachers and elders?” Yes, yes it would… women are evil incarnate.

Proof:

And here to support what he has just said, come these two wonderful verses, 13 and 14. Here is the root of the role of a woman in the design of God. Verse 13, “For Adam was first formed, then Eve.” Now that is so clear. Woman’s place was ordained in the order of the creation. Adam was made first and then woman. First, protas, first in rank, chief. He is ish, she is ishshah, in the Hebrew. In 1 Corinthians chapter 11, verse 8, “For the man is not of the woman, but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman. but the woman for the man.” And that’s why she ought to recognize his authority. In creation, God made man first. Now keep this in mind. Man was made for God and woman was made for man. Eve was made for Adam. She was made to be his helper. Genesis 2:18-25. She is his glory. Man is the glory of God, woman is the glory of man. She is made to be the helper of man. She is to follow his lead, live in his provision, find safety in his strength and protection in his courage. The tendency to follow was built into Eve until the fall, and then came the curse, and in that curse the tendency to…to rule and then the conflict. This is not a cultural issue, friends. This is not a cultural issue. Those people who say, “Well, this was just some bias.” This is not any Pauline bias. This is not some rabbinical gloss. This is Genesis. This is creation. It isn’t temporary and it isn’t cultural. Adam was first formed, then Eve.

So remember: “Liberty and Grace to you fellow male Truth-Warriors; women be silent.”

Thankfully you have this True Bible-Believing Online Discernment Ministry to warn you of all this evil—standing in our Great Doctrines,

Don Jobson.

Hurricane Irene: God’s Wrath Against Satan’s Holiday

September 19, 2011

Northeastern states are facing a jack-o’-lantern shortage this Helloween after Hurricane Irene destroyed hundreds of pumpkin patches across the region, farmers say. Boo…freaking hoo…God hates Pumpkins…We Know! Every Helloween evil Arminian Papist Islamofascists join together with Pagan Secular Humanist Satanist Evilutionist Darwinianists by setting candles in Pumpkins and lighting them near their couches so they can chant their New Age mystical prayers in an attempt to try to destroy our Holy Doctrines.

Also on that unholy night of heathenism, the unholy alliance of Roman Arminian VaticanIslamists and Athiestic Satanic Enviromentalist Communist Socialist Darwin-worshippers go from door to door yelling “Trick-or-Treat” and kidnap pregnant Bible-Believing Protestants who don’t give them candy and force them at gunpoint to abort their fetuses so that they can drink their blood while committing acts of sodomy and other fornications.

Also they practice their favorite activity of sacrificing goats, pigs, sheeps, cats and Bible-Believing Protestant children on altars built to worship their false Pumpkin god the Jack-o-Lantern while reciting satanic verses from New Age Catholic Bible Perversions in Satan’s tongue—Latin.

This is what Helloween is all about and why Pumpkins are an abomination to God. I attest to you all of this is Absolute Biblically-Correct Factual Truth and not made up by any man as: “I myself have been a forty-five year student of the satanically inspired, centuries-old conspiracy to use government, education, and media to destroy every vestige of Christianity within our society and establish a new world order. Having read at least fifty books on the Illuminati, I am convinced that it exists and can be blamed for many of man’s inhumane actions against his fellow man during the past two hundred years.”

If you don’t believe me just click on this link: Helloween-Satan’s unholyday. Thankfully you have Godly Bible-Believing Online Discernment Ministries like this one that refuse to compromise on our Pure Doctrines. We must all do our part to take a stand in our angry God’s Sovereign Wrath and the Hard Truths of the Bible in defense of our Holy Doctrines. We must expose all and warn all on the evils of Pumpkins. We must leave no hidden evil uncovered.

Spurgeon Exposed As A Young Restless & Reformed Type Sinner

September 12, 2011

We are so tired of these Young Restless & Reformed type heathens trying to justify their fleshly desires and rebellious nature. How dare they flaunt their tattoos, smoke tobacco, drink one sip of an alcoholic beverage or even swish with an alcoholic mouthwash! Don’t they know that all of these things are a sin—how dare they disrespect our glorious Elder John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) and his clear teachings of our Pure Biblical Doctrines.

John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) is clearly head and shoulders above any of these heretical YRR apostates as John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) is the only True Living Teacher of God’s Word in history. Never-mind the fact that the bible never mentions tobacco or that the bible never mentions drinking in itself is a sin—(hect even Jesus drank wine)—if our glorious Elder (P. B. U. H.) says these things are a sin then that must be the Absolute Biblical Truth.

I mean how can one  use sinful activities to the glory of God—sheer blasphemy—just listen to this hideous description of your typical Young Restless & Reformed type sinner:

“Last Sunday evening, at the Metropolitan Tabernacle, the deservedly popular, unquestionably benevolent, and eminently shrewd Mr. Spurgeon was preaching a sermon on the sinfulness of little sins—a somewhat favourite topic among Nonconformist clergymen, and on which, under the title of ‘The Little Foxes,’ some curious lay-sermons have been written by Mrs. Harriet Beecher-Stowe.
“The gist of Mr. Spurgeon’s discourse was that habitual indulgence in little sins leads to the commission of great ones—a position enforced by one of the most famous English divines in the illustration of the ‘boy who plays with the devil’s rattles.’
“At the close of his useful sermon the minister introduced an American clergyman who, he said, was anxious to address a few words to the congregation. This reverend gentleman ‘improved the opportunity’ by inveighing fiercely against the sin of smoking tobacco, especially in the form of cigars, and told his hearers how he had struggled and fought against the pernicious habit, and how at last, by the blessing and with the assistance of Providence, he had conquered his addiction to the weed.
“Then uprose Mr. Spurgeon and, with quiet humour, remarked that he would not allow the congregation to separate without telling them that he did not consider smoking to be a sin, and that, by the grace of God, he hoped to enjoy a good cigar before going to bed that night.
“Hypercriticism should discern no irreverence in the conclusion of those remarks. We should be thankful for all things; and in observing that he hoped to enjoy a cigar through the Divine grace, he was but echoing the natural piety of Charles Lamb, who asked why we should not say grace before going out for a walk in the fields as well as before and after meat. Dr. Johnson said grace before he began the ‘Rambler’; and if Mr. Spurgeon be a smoker, he only adds another and most excellent name to the long catalogue of distinguished English divines of the Established and the Dissenting Churches who have solaced themselves with that Indian weed.”2

Key Discernmentalists Push Scientology Agenda

August 9, 2011

Todd Friel joins Brannon Howse and John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) in pushing the Scientology Agenda

Yes that’s right and remember in the words of the famous Scientologist Discernmentalist Tom Cruise: “Psychiatrists and psycologists are worthless and only out to take your money and have an easy job. Psycology used to be called “the study of the soul” but now its not. Only Scientology God is the answer for anyones emotional, mental problems because it comes from the soul. Secular psycology wont help.“—(MaharlikaAWA 4 days ago).

I mean would you really want to ‘promote a worldview that provides a crutch for people by making them be dependent on drugs with lots of side effects‘… I mean really? We didn’t think so either—after all even Psychologists admit that Secular Psychology and Psychiatry can’t cure anyone:

So there you go Secular Psychology never helped anyone—only devoting all of our energies in devotion to God’s Absolute Sovereign Wrath and commendable hatred towards non-hyper-Calvinists will anyone be saved, cured, healed, etc. While you’re at it please join us in our Absolute Truth War against Secular Medical Science aka Gnosticism.  And remember:

John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) Will Get You Rapture Ready For Saturday!

May 19, 2011

John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) unlike Brian McLaren and his Emerging Babylonian hordes never falls prey to the winds of ear-tickling doctrines. This is because Saint John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) keeps his doctrines so Purer than anyone else’s that he can never fail at being the True Truth Warrior of Absolute Biblical Truth that he Truly is. Take the Pure Biblical Doctrine of the Rapture for instance—John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) has said: “It’s become kind of popular today, in the last two or three years, to believe in the rapture occurring at the end of the tribulation. There has been three positions, historically, “pre-trib,” “mid-trib,” and “post-trib.” What that means is the rapture occurs at the end of the tribulation: “post-tribulation;” the middle of the tribulation: “mid-tribulation;” the beginning of the tribulation: “pre-tribulation.” Now if you wanted to catalog me I would have to claim to be a “pre-tribulationist.” I believe the Church will be taken out before the tribulation.

Of course because Truth Matters, we all know that the Rapture is Pure Biblical Teaching and not a man-made invention by a deluded Scottish teenager unlike Brian McLaren’s heretical notion that the Kingdom of God is present in the world and within us. Phil Johnson and the Pyromaniacs agree as John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) has also said after being questioned about his Premillenial Dispensationalist Rapture beliefs:

Questioner: I am concern about Dispensationalism, I have been listening to Charles Swindoll, yourself and Dave Hawking, I really enjoy their ministry. And they all preach the pre-tribulation rapture, and I can buy that. I think it’s great. And then I hear some other respected men in the Lord say, “Well that is a dispensational point of view,” and they imply that that is something that has taken place within the last hundred years or so within the church. I just like to hear a little from you.

John MacArthur’s Answer: You see, that is just a label that they throw. What do you mean a dispensational point of view? The word dispensation is a NT word, Paul said “It was committed unto him the dispensation of the grace of God, dispensation of the mysteries.” It simply means a stewardship, it’s simply a term, that’s all. This is the accusation over and over again that Dispensationalism popped up with J. N. Darby, and C. I. Scofield, and all of that? But we are not working our way through a system, but rather attempting to interpret scripture on its own merit.

Ok, you have some basic things to deal with. Dispensationalism, by the way, is simply a title for theology that recognizes a literal nation Israel to be restored in the future. And recognizes a literal kingdom, and a literal tribulation, and a literal return, and a literal rapture, and that is dispensational. The other perspective is what’s called non-dispensational or covenant theology, which has no place for Israel, no kingdom in the future, and spiritualizes everything rather than making it literal.

Now, what you have to do is to go back to some very basic things. Dispensation simply means that God manages things in a certain way at a certain time. Everybody is a dispensationalist, everybody. I don’t care who they are in theology, they’re dispensational.

Elsewhere John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) has defined Every Self-Respecting Calvinist as a Premillennial Dispensationalist—in other words all True Christians are Premillenial Dispensationalist Rapture believers like John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) and Harold Camping. We hope this helps get you Rapture Ready for the Rapture and Judgement Day this Saturday—oh and don’t forget to buy one of our handy dandy RaptureHatches to be prepared… so  don’t get Left Behind with the unregenerate non-Elect heathens… be Rapture Ready with our Final Prophet John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.).

Shocked: Phil Johnson turns on John MacArthur (but still remains a member at Grace Community Church)

December 22, 2010

In a shocking furor of Discernmentalism, Phil Johnson aka Hugh Jass turns against the Ways of the Master and his Overlord Saint John MacArthur. Note Phil Johnson’s attack:  
“He [James White] is (rightly) concerned about people who run too far with the notion of imploring sinners to be reconciled to God (2 Corinthians 5) and who imagine that this justifies the ridiculous imagery of God on his knees, begging sinners to have a relationship with Him. Remember: I already said I don’t like that aspect of the video, either.”
JOHN MACARTHUR has said: Yep, we are to beg them, be reconciled to God, as it says, though God were begging through you. That’s exactly the language there. As though God were begging through you, be reconciled to God, go into all the world, preach the gospel to every creature, make disciples of all the nations. We have the responsibility to take the gospel to the ends of the earth to every creature.” Discernmentalists:
“Notice that Saint John MacArthur not only believes that God is begging through us, but he believes that it is “exactly the language there” in 2 Cor. 5:20. He says the same thing about that verse [i.e. “literally, ‘begging them'”] in his article on “Having an Eternally Right Relationship with God,” in Think Biblically!: Recovering a Christian Worldview, ed. John MacArthur (Good News Publishers, 2003), 108. So, MacArthur is not merely saying that he believes God is begging sinners, but he believes the Apostle Paul himself uses that kind of language. If MacArthur is correct, then Phil Johnson has not only called MacArthur’s beliefs and imagery on this subject “ridiculous,” but he has also unwittingly implied that the Apostle Paul’s inspired language is “ridiculous” as well.
Not only that, but he has also, by implication, said that the imagery of Augustine, Hugh Latimer, Samuel Rutherford [Westminster divine], Thomas Manton, Sydrach Simpson [Westminster divine], Robert Harris [Westminster divine], Theophilus Gale, Isaac Ambrose, Stephen Charnock, John Flavel, Richard Sibbes, John Shower, William Gurnall, George Swinnock, Ralph Venning, Daniel Burgess, Samuel Willard, George Whitefield, Jonathan Edwards, Solomon Stoddard, Samuel Davies, Andrew Gray, Ralph Erskine, Charles Spurgeon, Thomas Chalmers, Walter Chantry and Erroll Hulse is also “ridiculous.” I have documented the exact words of all of these men HERE [click].”
Phil should be ashamed for attacking the only True Living Teacher of God’s Word of this century like that. We demand that Phil be disciplined by his church authorities or else face God’s Wrath.

Brian McLaren’s Newest Sinister Plot Revealed

August 25, 2010

Ken Silva Retorts– In a recent post Brian McLaren has revealed to us that he plans to build a 13 story Emergent mosque complete with a shopping center, Starbucks coffee shop, an olympic sized swimming pool among other modern conveniences. Ken Silva says that this doesn’t surprise him as he has already “apprised” to the world that Brian has celebrated the pagan Islamic holiday of Ramadan. Ken fears that these are the last days when more and more apostates fall to the winds of false and ear-tickling doctrines in an attempt to eradicate John MacArthur’s Absolute Biblical Truth.

Not only has Brian’s latest plans struck fear into the very core of Ken Silva’s heart and soul and being—his plans have stirred up controversy among the Online Discernmentalist Community as not only does Brian plan on dedicating his Purpose-Driven Emergent Seeker-Sensitive mosque to Anne Rice. He also plans on building this Emergent travesty near one of the most sacred, hallowed and holiest sites among all Christo-Fascist Truth Warriors—Ronald Reagan’s Birthplace.

Eric Barger says that we all must Take A Stand against this—quote: “Everything I’ve needed to know about ( the Emergent Church and) Islam I learned on 9/11.”  Brannon Howse and Todd Friel are already planning an anti-Glenn Beck, anti-Social Justice and anti-Brian McLaren mosque Rally in the works. Keeping you apprised this is GOIP and OD Mafia News signing off…