Posts Tagged ‘Newsworthy’

Legacy: The Late Ken Silva Wanted To Rename Southern Baptist Convention newly rediscovered documents reveal

December 3, 2019

kbc

Quote the late Ken Silva: “As one who was ordained as an SBC pastor in the mid-90s I kind of agree that a name change for the SBC would help clarify where this denomination is currently at. Filled as it is with leaders who don’t have to lead, hiding as they do behind its Idol of Autonomy, the SBC’s becoming anything goes.”
(Source: Apprising Ministries)

How dare those Southern Baptists believe in Baptist doctrine! We must most mightily put a stop to this. While we’re at it we must put a stop to the SBC’s Idol of Credobaptism as well. Anything goes in this Truth War, right? As we all know the Roman Catholic Church and the Reformers taught that Infant Baptism is the only correct way to baptize. How dare those Southern Baptists lack Doctrinal Purity in their man-centered idolatry of baptizing believers!

We must also bring back State Churches… who needs to keep religion and government separate anyways? We most greatfully thank you our late Affectionate Uncle Ken for being in the front-lines in getting our important message across that God wants America to be enslaved to theocratic tyranny. Rushdoony, David Barton and the great and all powerful Worldview Weekend couldn’t have done as great a work as he did.

We vote that we also place statues of Spurgeon and the great General and Holiest Apostle of our Truth War: our Pope of all Truth John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) in the sanctuary of every Southern Baptist church. Phil Johnson agrees and Rhoblogy adds that a statue or two of James White—“Rockstar” wouldn’t hurt as that would provide extra protection from Doctrinal corruption. Speaking of Spurgeon whom Discernmentalists love to quote from ala our late Uncle in Discernmentalism—our Research Robot Monkeys discovered that he was doctrinally impure so he might not be as great as Phil and his John, son!

Personally the ODMafia moves to change the SBC’s name to Saved By Calvinism as only Calvinism saves not Jesus.

Dr. I. Todyaso of ODMafia fame called to fact check Babylon Bee

May 7, 2019

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Daily Bunker ODMs Express— Our very own Dr. I. Todyaso named Head Researcher and Fact Checker for Babylon Bee after they pledged to support us in being #1 in Absolute Truth; Alt-facts; journalism and Fake News in Discernmentalism. Quote: “We look forward to our new partnership in helping us spread our Truth War Pope’s Absolute Truth (PBUI) to more people and helping us fight the good fight in lying; slandering as well as falsely accusing others of heresy by spreading misinformation and made up quotes about them. Before the Babylon Bee there was only us and our mentor the late Ken Silva—we were lone voices in the wilderness calling out all those sliding off the True Path set before us by Calvin; purified by the Puritans and perfected by our Pope John MacArthur (PBUH). We’d like to think we taught the Bee everything we know.”—Dr. I. Todyaso of the Online Discernmentalist Mafia.

Will this match be made in heaven? We can only hope so as more people need to be exposed to the Purity of Discernmentlism’s Doctrines. Certainly the Babylon Bee and the ODMafia share the same sense of humor Doctrinal Clarity in common as this news report of theirs makes clear:

John MacArthur, pastor of Grace Community Church and president of The Master’s College and Seminary, has made a lofty promise to his congregation. He has reportedly committed to building a 20-foot thick, 30-foot high concrete wall around the entire perimeter of the church campus in order to keep out charismatics that might otherwise infiltrate their ranks.

“I will build a great wall, God willing. And I’ll build it very biblically. I will build a great, great wall all around our campus—and I’ll make the Pentecostals pay for it. Mark my words,” MacArthur was quoted as saying Friday.

—Tyrone V. Hoofendorfer for the Online Discernmentalist Mafia on Daily Bunker ODMs Express.

Phoenix Considers ‘Sin Tax’ On Young, Restless & Reformed Churches

April 18, 2019

(From the front-lines of the Truth War)- Frequenters of Phoenix strip clubs aka Young, Restless & Reformed Church-goers might be paying a little more than usual in the future. That’s because of a potential “sin tax,” first proposed to the city government by John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) on Tuesday. The tax would be imposed on establishments including strip club, tattoo parlors, and escort services, and other places that the Young, Restless & Reformed Movement (YRR) frequent to hold their “church” services reported Phil Johnson of Hugh Jass News.

Our Research Robot Monkeys reached YRR Guru Mark Driscoll of Mars Hill Church for comment on this proposal—he said: “Rats….garbled language….*censored for filthy language*….now I may not be able to continue practicing my Pornographic Divination.”

Typical YRR heathen response: “Smoking and drinking are so much cooler than obeying the rules against such in the bible given to us by the Sovereign decrees of our God of wrath. Besides Spurgeon was a Christian hedonist too so he would be cool with us smoking doobies; drinking hooch and using locker room talk to prove how much cooler than our Ruling Elders and more countercultural than carnal Pagan we are.” Nonsense. That’s why we must be ever discernmentalizing and concernmentalizing. The Truth War still rages on.

McCarthy Ministries Notes Libertarian Party And Emergent Church Synonymous

April 16, 2019

H/T: http://www.yaliberty.org/posts/said-vs-heard

ODM News: “Al Mohler Emerges as a Socialist.”

October 8, 2011

We were horrified when our Research Robot Monkeys caught one of our own spouting anti-Rich hate messages. We would expect this unholy abomination from Leftist Liebral Red-Letter Universalist Sinfully Ecumenical Semi-Pelagian Emergerants preaching their Social(ist) gospels but never from a True Bible-Believing Christian. We mustn’t stand for this as Jan Markell says:

In many Bibles, all the words of Jesus are in red. There is nothing wrong with that. But something is wrong when Leftist Christians or so-called Christians want to mute the words of Paul and other writers and only follow Jesus’ words. They call themselves “red-letter Christians.”

Some who believe this way practice a form of neo-Marxism and others would call it “Christian Marxism” — an oxymoron if there ever was one. They note that the early church shared everything (socialism). A close cousin to this is “liberation theology.”

Thanks to our Research Robot Monkeys—here for all the world to see is Al Mohler’s unholy abomination in all of it’s sinful apostasy:

I am writing this essay on an Apple laptop computer. I am listening to the strains of Bach playing from my iPad via an AirPort Express. My iPhone sits on my desk, downloading a new App from iTunes. Steve Jobs has invaded my life, my house, my office, my car, and my desktop — and I am thankful for all of these technologies.

But unerring taste, aesthetic achievement, and technological genius will not save the world. Christians know what the world does not — that the mother tending her child, the farmer planting his crops, the father protecting his family, the couple faithfully living out their marital vows, the factory worker laboring to support his family, and the preacher preparing to preach the Word of God are all doing far more important work.

We have to measure life by its eternal impact, even as we are thankful for every individual who makes this world a better place. But, don’t expect eternal impact to be the main concern of the business pages.—Al Mohler

Clearly this is an attack on Rich business owners and Big Business. Any attack on Big Business is Socialism. Saying that factory workers laboring to support their families are more important than Rich business owners is to side with the Labor Unions. Supporting Labor Unions is Big Labor and taking a stand for Big Labor and the common workers is Communistic Socialism.

Emerging Shark Possibly Indentified!

September 23, 2011

“We saw the shark’s nose emerge and then the man just vanished. It was very sudden, then the animal just swam off. ”

Update: Apprising Ken Silva News ReportsEmerging Church Shark spotted swimming deep in the Indian Ocean earlier this morning. Authorities say be on the look out for any sign of “tall hair” breaking the surface of the water in your area. You may also know an Emerging Shark by his or her lack of Doctrinal convictions. Quote Phil Johnson:

“If you happen to read the book [Beliefs of Emerging Churches – Five Perspectives], let me know if Kimball’s chapter strikes you the same way it struck me. Not only does it seem like Kimball has not really thought his position through very carefully; I got the distinct impression he wouldn’t really care to give it much more serious thought. Frankly, the message that comes across in that chapter is that he really doesn’t want to be bothered with doctrine. Like a lot of postmodern church members, he doesn’t seem to have the stomach for propositional theology …

“Even the most conservative voices in the Emerging Church movement face this problem to some degree, because although they might not be self-consciously postmodern in their own thinking, they are too concerned with keeping ‘the conversation’ going. Once someone abandons his or her doctrinal convictions to the degree Kimball advocates and embraces ‘the conversation’ as a primary goal instead, the commandment in Jude 3 (‘Contend earnestly for the faith which was once for all delivered to the saints’) becomes next to impossible to obey …”
– Philip Johnson

John Calvin “Frisked” At Liberty and Grace Reformed Church

September 21, 2011

Pastor Steven Dilday in echo of George W. Bush’s “Patriot Act” opts to create the first ever “Clergy Act” in an attempt to root out all those spiritual terrorists who dare to partake in the sins of the Whore of Babylon—the Scarlet Mother of all Harlots: the Roman Catholic Cult by wearing robes and stoles to preach. Quote Steven Dilday: “this is the most pressing and urgent of issues of our time—we should hold the theology of those who wear vestments in the pulpit suspect.” One of the first victims of Pastor Dilday’s Clergy Act was a John Calvin impersonator who was held suspect for looking too sinisterly like a Jesuit gestapo in his black robes:

We most mightily thank Pastor Dilday for bringing this clear and most important teaching on one  of  “the most pressing and urgent of issues of our time.” Why if a John Calvin impersonator can be held theologically suspect then we must also hold the real Calvin theologically suspect! On a related note—Pastor Dilday elsewhere declared that Calvinists should abandon Calvin for not being Truly Refomed and Calvinistic enough. We agree as Calvin was a little too Semi-Pelagian for our tastes and did not hold to the Truth of the Ways of our Master.

Remember this is a Truth War after-all so we must hold everyone accountable to ourStandard of ourTruth of ourPure Doctrines. Thankfully you have this humble Truly Reformed Bible-Believing Truth War Discernment Ministry to Take A Stand in ourDoctrines on “this most pressing and urgent of issues of our time.” We here at this ministry are all about grace and nothing but Grace… in fact we are the most Grace-loving man-hating site on the net. We would never ever heap the burden of the Law upon you or preach anything like a Works-Salvation unlike those Grace-hating man-glorfiying Catholic-worshippers. We just expect you to keep ourRules lest we deem you unworthy of God’s Grace and therefore unfit for the Kingdom.

So Liberty and Grace To You, God’s Only Elect in the Great Grace of the wide and loving mercy of our Angry God’s Sovereign Hate and Wrath.

—————————–

Update # 1: Martin Luther wore vestments clearly he must have hated liberty and grace for partaking in the sin of the Papists.

Update # 2: We caught one of our own Ken Silva wearing a bathrobe… he must be on the Road to Rome. Now we must put his site under surveillance.

Update # 3: Johnathan Edwards wore a clerical collar… a clear perversion of the Doctrines of Grace.

Update # 4: We wiretapped Ken Silva’s phone and overheard Ken talking with Chris Rosebrough (an avowed Lutheran) and Ingrid of SOL/Crosstalk (a possible Lutheran). Now we must really put his site under surveillance as now we really have reason to suspect that he is Emerging into Rome.

Update # 5: Oh horror of horrors… the Ways of the Master himself caught preaching sans coat and tie in a Rick Warrenesque shirt. He’s one step closer to Rick Warren’s heretical Purpose-Driven Agenda.

Ordination Of Women Causes Your Home To Be Robbed

September 20, 2011



“This is the fullest and most informative analysis available, and no one will be able to deny the cumulative strength of the case this author makes.” – J.I. Packer

Clearly this is why we all must take a stand against women preaching. Why I just heard the other day that a female pastor was preaching in a liberal apostate church and caused the whole congregation to contract AIDS. Ken Silva was there so of course this must be True. Speaking of Ken Silva a church that Ken frequently attends had this to say about women in the church:

The Bible teaches that women are not to speak in church. This is an apostolic rule that is based on the created order. The fact that our society is in rebellion against the biblical teaching regarding women does not make the Bible obsolete; it makes us who adopt the world’s values shameful and dishonoring to the Lord.

While we’re at it we should forbid women from sneezing in church as I heard from a colleague of our Truth War that a woman sneezed in his church and Satan appeared out of the drainpipe and started flinging feces around. As you can see my facts are correct as Ken Silva would approve. This is how dangerous even letting a woman breathe in church is. As John MacArthur says: “Wouldn’t it be bad to have a few women teachers and preachers and elders?” Yes, yes it would… women are evil incarnate.

Proof:

And here to support what he has just said, come these two wonderful verses, 13 and 14. Here is the root of the role of a woman in the design of God. Verse 13, “For Adam was first formed, then Eve.” Now that is so clear. Woman’s place was ordained in the order of the creation. Adam was made first and then woman. First, protas, first in rank, chief. He is ish, she is ishshah, in the Hebrew. In 1 Corinthians chapter 11, verse 8, “For the man is not of the woman, but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman. but the woman for the man.” And that’s why she ought to recognize his authority. In creation, God made man first. Now keep this in mind. Man was made for God and woman was made for man. Eve was made for Adam. She was made to be his helper. Genesis 2:18-25. She is his glory. Man is the glory of God, woman is the glory of man. She is made to be the helper of man. She is to follow his lead, live in his provision, find safety in his strength and protection in his courage. The tendency to follow was built into Eve until the fall, and then came the curse, and in that curse the tendency to…to rule and then the conflict. This is not a cultural issue, friends. This is not a cultural issue. Those people who say, “Well, this was just some bias.” This is not any Pauline bias. This is not some rabbinical gloss. This is Genesis. This is creation. It isn’t temporary and it isn’t cultural. Adam was first formed, then Eve.

So remember: “Liberty and Grace to you fellow male Truth-Warriors; women be silent.”

Thankfully you have this True Bible-Believing Online Discernment Ministry to warn you of all this evil—standing in our Great Doctrines,

Don Jobson.

Hurricane Irene: God’s Wrath Against Satan’s Holiday

September 19, 2011

Northeastern states are facing a jack-o’-lantern shortage this Helloween after Hurricane Irene destroyed hundreds of pumpkin patches across the region, farmers say. Boo…freaking hoo…God hates Pumpkins…We Know! Every Helloween evil Arminian Papist Islamofascists join together with Pagan Secular Humanist Satanist Evilutionist Darwinianists by setting candles in Pumpkins and lighting them near their couches so they can chant their New Age mystical prayers in an attempt to try to destroy our Holy Doctrines.

Also on that unholy night of heathenism, the unholy alliance of Roman Arminian VaticanIslamists and Athiestic Satanic Enviromentalist Communist Socialist Darwin-worshippers go from door to door yelling “Trick-or-Treat” and kidnap pregnant Bible-Believing Protestants who don’t give them candy and force them at gunpoint to abort their fetuses so that they can drink their blood while committing acts of sodomy and other fornications.

Also they practice their favorite activity of sacrificing goats, pigs, sheeps, cats and Bible-Believing Protestant children on altars built to worship their false Pumpkin god the Jack-o-Lantern while reciting satanic verses from New Age Catholic Bible Perversions in Satan’s tongue—Latin.

This is what Helloween is all about and why Pumpkins are an abomination to God. I attest to you all of this is Absolute Biblically-Correct Factual Truth and not made up by any man as: “I myself have been a forty-five year student of the satanically inspired, centuries-old conspiracy to use government, education, and media to destroy every vestige of Christianity within our society and establish a new world order. Having read at least fifty books on the Illuminati, I am convinced that it exists and can be blamed for many of man’s inhumane actions against his fellow man during the past two hundred years.”

If you don’t believe me just click on this link: Helloween-Satan’s unholyday. Thankfully you have Godly Bible-Believing Online Discernment Ministries like this one that refuse to compromise on our Pure Doctrines. We must all do our part to take a stand in our angry God’s Sovereign Wrath and the Hard Truths of the Bible in defense of our Holy Doctrines. We must expose all and warn all on the evils of Pumpkins. We must leave no hidden evil uncovered.

Spurgeon Exposed As A Young Restless & Reformed Type Sinner

September 12, 2011

We are so tired of these Young Restless & Reformed type heathens trying to justify their fleshly desires and rebellious nature. How dare they flaunt their tattoos, smoke tobacco, drink one sip of an alcoholic beverage or even swish with an alcoholic mouthwash! Don’t they know that all of these things are a sin—how dare they disrespect our glorious Elder John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) and his clear teachings of our Pure Biblical Doctrines.

John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) is clearly head and shoulders above any of these heretical YRR apostates as John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) is the only True Living Teacher of God’s Word in history. Never-mind the fact that the bible never mentions tobacco or that the bible never mentions drinking in itself is a sin—(hect even Jesus drank wine)—if our glorious Elder (P. B. U. H.) says these things are a sin then that must be the Absolute Biblical Truth.

I mean how can one  use sinful activities to the glory of God—sheer blasphemy—just listen to this hideous description of your typical Young Restless & Reformed type sinner:

“Last Sunday evening, at the Metropolitan Tabernacle, the deservedly popular, unquestionably benevolent, and eminently shrewd Mr. Spurgeon was preaching a sermon on the sinfulness of little sins—a somewhat favourite topic among Nonconformist clergymen, and on which, under the title of ‘The Little Foxes,’ some curious lay-sermons have been written by Mrs. Harriet Beecher-Stowe.
“The gist of Mr. Spurgeon’s discourse was that habitual indulgence in little sins leads to the commission of great ones—a position enforced by one of the most famous English divines in the illustration of the ‘boy who plays with the devil’s rattles.’
“At the close of his useful sermon the minister introduced an American clergyman who, he said, was anxious to address a few words to the congregation. This reverend gentleman ‘improved the opportunity’ by inveighing fiercely against the sin of smoking tobacco, especially in the form of cigars, and told his hearers how he had struggled and fought against the pernicious habit, and how at last, by the blessing and with the assistance of Providence, he had conquered his addiction to the weed.
“Then uprose Mr. Spurgeon and, with quiet humour, remarked that he would not allow the congregation to separate without telling them that he did not consider smoking to be a sin, and that, by the grace of God, he hoped to enjoy a good cigar before going to bed that night.
“Hypercriticism should discern no irreverence in the conclusion of those remarks. We should be thankful for all things; and in observing that he hoped to enjoy a cigar through the Divine grace, he was but echoing the natural piety of Charles Lamb, who asked why we should not say grace before going out for a walk in the fields as well as before and after meat. Dr. Johnson said grace before he began the ‘Rambler’; and if Mr. Spurgeon be a smoker, he only adds another and most excellent name to the long catalogue of distinguished English divines of the Established and the Dissenting Churches who have solaced themselves with that Indian weed.”2