Mrs. Jobson speaks on Mothballs

I’m proud of my wife’s article against the feminist assaults we’ve been facing and how to combat them that I wrote for her in keeping with our Clear Teachings on wifely submission—I tried to submit it on her behalf to The Council On Biblical Manhood and womanhood for publication in the latest issue of their magazine on Biblical womanhood but they rejected it and laughed in my face. I suspect it is because they saw her name as the author—I know it can’t be because of the references to mothballs in the article because they agree with Our Brand. For those of you who don’t know the main definition of mothballs as defined in Volume Two of The Discernmentalist Dictionary is:

MOTHBALLs or (Modernism’s Old Theologies of Hate Bringing About Legalism on  Ladies): (noun)- the only known protection against Mothra and feminist attacks on Discernmentalist Truth. Also useful in warding off Bibliophiles.

Anyways here is my lovely wife’s beautiful and well-written article:

My Life As An Unfeminist Submissive Mothball Wearing Wife

By Mrs. Brandy Hose Jobson

Contrary to what our annoyed tortured faithful readers may think Mrs. Jobson indeed loves wearing  her mothball necklace. In fact just smelling them have calmed Mrs. Jobson’s (her)  fears of Mothra’s feminist Agenda assaulting our Truth. Mrs. Jobson wishes more women would learn the joy of being submissive and the benefits of wearing mothballs for protection. I (Don Jobson) told her (my wife Mrs. Jobson) that any time she’s tempted to even think the unbiblical thought of women being able to pastor a church—just keep calm by focusing on her mothballs. Now you can see the Clear benefits of our Teachings. I was telling Mrs. Jobson the other day that if “tolerance” is the core value of political correctness then feminism is it’s most cherished cause–and the implications of apostate culture’s cultural devotion to feminism are monstrous. Feminism is not about equal rights for women but about the feminization of the American male.

My wife’s lovely mothball necklace 4 Protection against Mothra and feminists

It has indeed turned even more monstrous ever since these Mothra attacks started occurring on innocent unsuspecting Southern Baptist churches but thankfully our Brand works like a charm. In fact its extra magical almost like the heretical Mormon cult’s secret undergarments—only ours is Truly Biblical. Sadly though it has yet to be seen as working on gay feminists. This content is for Premium members only. Login or sign up to gain access to over $164440 in Worldview Weekend resources. (Whoops looks like Brannon is charging now for us Discernmentalists to crib from his self-righteous site. How dare he!).

Feminist Mothra dogma decrees that women can never be successful. That shows how out of touch the feminists are. Now Mothra as you may not know was never successful especially since:

Mothra is one of the most powerful psychics in the Toho universe. She has had the ability to use this power benevolently, to communicate with humans, or defensively, to destroy her enemies. As suggested earlier, Mothra is assumed to be divine and draws many parallels to the Phoenix, which makes her one of the more powerful kaiju of the Toho universe. Mothra has become one of Godzilla’s more challenging opponents, having achieved the greatest success rate in battle save Godzilla himself…

Anyways just remember mothballs for your protection against the Mothra feminist hordes. Mrs. Jobson agrees with me because I told her to.

My wife still protected by mothballs from Mothra feminists,

Don Jobson

Gays join the Truth War against Feminists

 

“I’m a gay man. I am not a feminist. There’s a shocking statement. How could any gay man not need, want, support, affirm feminism?

What I learned surprised me. I learned that feminism was not about equality. I learned about the feminist history of hatred toward gay men. And eventually, I learned that feminism was actively engaged in a campaign that was doing to all men what others have so often done to gay men: demonize them as sexual predators and abusers in the interests of their own power and their own ideology.

Feminism wasn’t about equality: It was about bigotry.”—Matthew Lye

We couldn’t hardly believe it when our Research Robot Monkeys stumbled upon this shocking statement. We’re so shocked we’re pressed for words. How can this be? Everyone knows that gays are liberals and that feminists are liberals too—and that all liberals love gays and feminists equally. Its part of their pledge to use the Trojan Horse of gay feminism to destroy the American church by legalizing the gay feminist agenda to turn men into effeminate weak gutlesss grace girlie-men. In fact when I showed this Researchmentalism for the very article I’m writing to my co-laborer in Discernmentalism—-Dr. I. Todyaso—he exclaimed: “I hate this but most importantly I hate myself for not knowing who to hate more—but then I thought to myself what would John MacArthur (PBUH) do? Why! Point out his finger of self-righteous judgment at both groups and hate them both equally.” On the one hand—we’d like to thank the gays for helping us hate the feminists more—on the other—we’d like to thank the feminists for helping us to hate the gays more. Even-so you’re not fooling any of us as you’re not really among us Truth Warriors.

Update: Rumor has it that Dr. I. Todyaso has gone into hiding somewhere deep within our Truth Bunker upon viewing this Researchmentalism—but I could’ve sworn I heard his distinctive voice in our ODM cafeteria late last night in the afterhours as I was getting a midnight snack.

Spreading Grace Our Way from the Past Again: a review of a Book Review on (Ana)Baptist witchcraft

Baptists are witches!

Review- ‘‘Already a leading authority in the history of heresy, Gary K. Waite offers challenging new ways to integrate the early modern witch hunts in the broader anti-heretical developments of the Reformation era. Eradicating the Devil’s Minions sheds valuable light on a wealth of topics, including attitudes to miracles, debates over the sacraments – notably baptism, popular magic, shamanism and religious charisma – and the entire rhetoric of demonization.’ Stuart Clark, Professor of History, University of Wales, Swansea” –This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

Arthur McJohn’s review: “This is one of the most important books written to aid our Truth War against Anabaptists/Baptists who we’ve already Discernmentalized are responsible for almost all the acts of evil in the world from their socialistic pacifism to the witchcraft of their unReformed baptisms.”

Don Jobson reviewing Arthur’s review of the review: That’s right Arthur in fact the forefathers of our Great Truth War considered Baptists more of an enemy than grace-hating Pope-worshippers—this is what makes their Doctrines so demonic. The Product Description of this important work gets it right:

Product Description

As a religious sect, the Anabaptists were seen to practice unusual rituals and follow an eccentric set of beliefs. One story, for instance, purports that an Anabaptist prophet, claiming to have visited heaven, persuaded his followers to run naked through the streets of Amsterdam. Eradicating the Devil’s Minions investigates these beliefs in the context of Reformation Europe, a time in which persecution, religious intolerance, and witch-hunting were rampant.

I. Todyaso comments: “This line proves how unReformed Baptists are just like our enemies the Emergents who follow Purpose-Driven Charismatic chaos. Their beliefs were and are unusual and eccentric. Reading about a Prophet visiting heaven—sounds Islamic to me. What’s that about running naked through the streets sounds like Hindoo voodoo hippie liberalism to me that just proves how much more impure their doctrines are to Ours.”

Truthslayer responds: “Sounds like the Cannuckistanesians to me…lol!”

Focusing primarily on the Habsburg-controlled regions of Europe, Gary K. Waite argues that the persecution of Anabaptists did not go hand in hand with the outbreak of witch-hunts in the mid-sixteenth century. Rather, distrust of Anabaptists predated the first major witch panic of 1562-3, and Waite suggests that the virulent propaganda against Anabaptist heretics helped convince governments of the existence of a diabolical threat. Although Anabaptists rejected religious magic, they were consistently demonized by Catholic and Lutheran polemicists.

Eradicating the Devil’s Minions is an investigation into the roots of religious intolerance in Reformation Europe, and a unique examination of mass hysteria and social extremism.

Truthslayer summing up for the ODMafia on behalf of God’s Only Inerrant Party: “We can only conclude that Baptists are heretics through guilt of association with the Anabaptists—True Truth Warriors must come against them but in case you doubt our Discernmentalism”—Finally we leave you with this quote from John Calvin in his “Brief Instruction to Arm Those of Good Faith Against the Errors of the AnaBaptist”, (Geneva, 1544):

Calvin Wrote, “These miserable fanatics have no other goal than to put everything into disorder.. They reveal themselves to be the enemies of God and of the human race… If it is not right for a Christian man to go to law with anyone to settle quarrels regarding possessions, inheritance, and other matters, than I ask these good teachers what will become of the world?”

Preach The Law

 

The Murphy’s, said, “I am not a Christian. Yet,I am a follower of Jesus.”How can you not want to hold to the title “Christian”? Yet you say you are “a follower of Christ”. The two are one in the same. I like the verses that emram quoted to you: Acts 11.26; 26.28; 1 Pet. 4.16. Perhaps you should check these out.The Murphy’s, said, “If I said I were a Christian you would think that I agree with Ray (and the many others), I have always had a problem with Ray and his methods.”Ray isn’t perfect and I would have a problem with “his” methods too. But they aren’t “his methods”. Using the law in evangelism is biblical (Rom 3:19) and many wonderful men of old (Spurgeon, Whitefield, Wesley, Moody, Calvin, etc.) used the law. Ray isn’t coming up with something new. It’s old truth. Taken from the scriptures and used by men of old down through the ages. Not sure what your problem is. Perhaps it’s with the scriptures and not with Ray.

Source: (http://fishwithtrish.blogspot.com/search/label/Emergent%20Church)

Have you heard it said that we are saved by Grace? Sure we all know we are saved by grace alone and not by keeping the Law—that’s the Protestant articulation of the Gospel:

“The Law is a good thing. But when the discussion is about justification, there is no time to drag in the Law. When we discuss justification we ought to speak of Christ and the benefits He has brought us.

Christ is no sheriff. He is, “the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world.” (John 1:29 KJV)

By the grace of God we know that we are justified through faith in Christ alone. We do not mingle Law and Grace, faith and works.”

Well sadly you’ve been mislead and are most likely a False Convert. Salvation through grace  and God’s love are what those Emergent heretics preach. We Discernmentalists know the only way to Truly be Saved is through the preaching of the Law (just like Jesus and Luther would want)—as too much love and grace might cause people to remain in sin and our God is so angry at sinners. In fact we believe that if you got saved through the preaching of grace you were never saved to begin with—as Spurgeon said:

“I do not believe that any man can preach the gospel who does not preach the Law. Lower the Law and you dim the light by which man perceives his guilt; this is a very serious loss to the sinner rather than a gain; for it lessens the likelihood of his conviction and conversion. I say you have deprived the gospel of its ablest auxiliary [its most powerful weapon] when you have set aside the Law. You have taken away from it the schoolmaster that is to bring men to Christ. they will never accept grace till they tremble before a just and holy Law. Therefore, the Law serves a most necessary purpose, and it must not be removed from its place. The Law cuts into the core of evil, it reveals the seat of the malady and informs us that the leprosy lies deep within. They must be slain by the Law before they can be made alive by the gospel.”

I also wanted to add this bit about grace from the Holiest anointed non-Cessationist prophet of Jesus Christ living today and Pope of the Truth Wars:

“And may I add that it is not to say that God doesn’t love, but it is to say that you’ll never understand how great His love is unless you know how great His hate is. I mean, if you understand that God hates sin so profoundly then you will find it all the more amazing that He can love sinners. So that without an understanding of His hate, His love is crippled too in our thinking. Love and grace are favorite terms, are void of meaning if God does not hate.” ~ John MacArthur (PBUH)

So go and preach the Good News of the Law and God’s Holy Wrath so that others may be saved by your love and grace in doing so!

Ray Comfort (Awesome) invents Mothball Mobile

DISCERNMENTALIST WOO NEWS—  Kearny is one of those towns with a main street called Kearny Avenue. Most Friday and Saturday nights Ray Comfort (Awesome) would walk Kearny Avenue passing out “Are you a good person?” tracts to groups of young people and feminists. Most of them would laugh at him. Some ridiculed him. A few even assaulted him. But Ray was undeterred. He wanted to be able to connect with some of these kids and preach the law of our Angry God’s wrath to them. Then it dawned on him since feminists (under Mothra’s influence) fear mothballs—why not invent a Mothball Mobile (using recently discovered Mothball technology)—then he could safely pick kids up on Sunday morning—(protected from Mothra and feminist doctrines) in his Mothball Mobile and bring them to church. If the kids are poor Ray would then have the opportunity to preach the Gospel of Capitalism to them so they could be saved through the “invisible hand” of Free-Market economics. Online Discernmentalist ministries are now seeing the benefits of this application of our newly discovered Mothball technology with Ray’s invention we can now more often load up our cars with kids and take them to see Discernmentalist approved movies and bring them to Discernmentalist crusades. Even with all his eccentricity—Ray lives the commands of Christ through merciful grace as well as any redeemed Elect can by preaching the Law and Wrath of God’s anger instead of mercy and grace to sinners. (Source)

Mrs. Jobson is extra excited to hear the good news that our good friend Ray Comfort is inventing this Mothball mobile as she hasn’t been allowed to leave our bunker in months without wearing her mothball necklace for protection—ever-since these Mothra feminist attacks have begun upon the Holy Remnant within our apostate Southern Baptist Convention. We fear that ever-since these feminist priestesses started invading our SBC—that they will return our beloved Convention to the Dark Ages of liberals and the unholy horrors of Progress by divine fiat. We’d like to thank Ray once again for inventing this as the extra protection of mothballs will keep us well-fortified on the go—and safe from being accosted by Mothra or any other strange feminists—while we’re out and about. Now Mrs. Jobson and our Quiverfull of kids will safely be able to see God Is Not Dead: The Finally Final Reckoning when it finally comes out!

 

Don Jobson and Mrs. Jobson through being forced to agree with me approves

 

Women are evil!

Just a friendly reminder from a random internet comment—we suspect this is Tyrone V. Hoofendorfer in disguise after accidently revealing himself one time against the Discernmentalist code of keeping our identities secret….also we would like to say there have been many Hoofendorfers since then not just our original Party meme-ber…:

Tuesday 15 June

By CRIZZ2001

Lowest Rank

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Women are all evil and they have no morals at all, they are sent here to weaken man and destroy him of every things that is by god is given to him. IT WAS NOT ADAM WHO PERSUADED EVE TO BITE THE APPLE?? NEVER TRUST A WOMEN WHITE OR BLACK!!!!!

http://www.asylum.com/2010/06/14/when-women-cheat-what-4-real-guys-learned-from-infidelity/?icid=main|main|dl4|link3|http%3A%2F%2Fwww.asylum.com%2F2010%2F06%2F14%2Fwhen-women-cheat-what-4-real-guys-learned-from-infidelity%2F

Are You Truly Reformed?

Only Truly Reformed Calvinists who tip the scales of our Discernmentalist Rating scale will be saved. Can you get a high score on our meter and pass our test:

You might be a TR (Totally Reformed) if…

1. You first quote the Westminster Confession and then say, “Oh yeah, the Bible says this somewhere, too.”
2. You refuse to vote for Jesus as Time Magazine’s “Person of the Year” because you don’t want an image of Christ on the front cover.
3. You secretly believe that you have to believe in election to be saved.
4. You think Puritans are really, really, really, REALLY cool.
5. While not being a theonomist, you completely understand them.
6. While officially affirming the “priesthood of all believers,” the only people you really trust to interpret Scripture are Calvin and yourself, and you only trust yourself on Thursdays before noon.
7. For you, a Baptist and stupid are the same word.
8. A “Reformed Baptist” and a “square circle” are equally as difficult for you to imagine.
9. You wonder what the Holy Spirit was up to between the times of Paul and Calvin.
10. You think women belong in the home and not in any pulpit, much less a staff position in large churches.
11. At some point in your life, you honestly believed that the only people who are saved are you and your buddy who thinks just like you, and then you kind of have to wonder about him because he DOES think just like you.
12. You think any church that has more than 200 people is probably apostate.
13. You are personally repulsed by Campus Crusade for Christ.
14. It is harder for you to keep the Sabbath than it is to fill out your taxes.
15. You keep telling yourself that Willow Creek has to be a really bad dream.
16. You’ve considered stoning someone.
17. You’ve seriously thought about lighting up a cigarette in church.
18. You think “that Pope as the Antichrist thing” should never have been taken out of the Confession.
19. Saying a blessing before the first round of drinks doesn’t seem strange to you at all.
20. Your favorite Bible is your “Authorized Bahnsen Version.”
21. You’re convinced that everyone in your Presbytery is secretly a 33rd degree Mason.
22. You know that the Apocrypha doesn’t belong in the canon, but you wonder sometimes whether we should add Van Til’s, “The Defense of the Faith.”
23. You pray daily for God to release His judgment on para-church ministries.
24. You think no true evangelism has been done without at least 3 lengthy quotes from the Confession.
25. You can’t figure out why God didn’t take Van Til like He did Enoch.
26. For you, tobacco is its own major food group.
27. You like Sproul Jr. a whole lot better than his father.
28. You think John Gerstner was an Arminian who knows better now.
29. You think the “Concerned Presbyterians” are way too moderate.
30. The only reason you haven’t condemned Covenant Seminary is because you went there and you don’t want to invalidate your entire theological training.
31. You have no idea what personality type you are, which explains why you are a TR.

Super-Patriot Heresy Alert!!!!: Prophetic Christians are UnAmerican!

I believe the real reason why so many professing Christians are so apathetic and indifferent to what is happening has nothing to do with the teachings of Scripture, Bible doctrine, eschatology, or anything of the like. It has everything to do with old-fashioned laziness. Today’s average Christian just flat does not want to be bothered. He has a comfortable house, an easy chair, television, and a set of golf clubs in the closet. He takes two or three weeks’ vacation every year, goes to church on Sunday (a church that does not intrude on his comfort zone, of course), pays taxes, and votes for his favorite “pro-life” Republican candidate every two years, and assumes that he is a “good” Christian and “patriotic” American. He is neither!

A real Christian patriot would never allow his country to be taken over by a gaggle of elitist goons bent on stealing his liberties–including his religious liberties–without doing everything in his power to prevent it. A real Christian patriot is active, alert, engaged, zealous, and committed to preserving liberty.

What if Jesus doesn’t come for another 100 years? Another 200 years? What are we going to say to our grandchildren when they ask us what we were doing when our freedoms and liberties were being stolen? What will we say to our Christian forebears when we meet them in eternity? They sacrificed everything so that we could live in peace and freedom. What will we say to them? What will we say to God, who handed this land of liberty to us on a silver (albeit blood-soaked) platter?

 I know unbelievers who have more character and determination about preserving liberty than many who call themselves Christians. And I have a ton more respect for them, too. Our Lord told us, “For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required” (Luke 12:48). Yes, Christians in America have been given the best of both worlds, and many do not even appreciate it enough to see to it that their own children–their own flesh and blood–will live to enjoy the same blessings. They are pathetic!

So, the next time you hear some piety-draped Christian talking about how he won’t engage the enemy and fight for liberty, because of prophecy, or some other spiritually-sounding platitude, just remember, it has nothing to do with prophecy, or anything of the sort: it has everything to do with old-fashioned laziness  My feeling toward him is the same as that of Sam Adams (a fellow Christian) toward the Tories of old:

“If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude than the animating contest for freedom–go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains sit lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen!” Amen! (Source)

How dare American Christians defer to Biblical prophecy instead of Conservative talking heads—why that is simply unbiblical! We know that when the Biblical Prophets railed against injustices it was because they were lazy and not very good Patriots by not supporting the Empire. We know that Capitalism is Biblical. We know that God would want us to use the liberty that He gave to us in our Holy Constitution to defend exploitation at all costs against those who share resources and believe in equality as sharing is socialism. Normally we would come against those who dare utter anything against Biblical Absolutes but we know only liberals are the ones truly against the Bible. Besides that we need more Super-Patriots to help us take a stand against liberals and socialism as that’s the True Bible-Believing way. We need to zealously fight for our liberty to oppress others and to fight the gaggle of elitist goons. We need our fascism Christianity as well as our Bibles draped in our Holy American Flag. We know Bonhoeffer was wrong for deferring to the Biblical prophets in opposing Nazism as John MacArthur (PBUH) has said:

“Now listen to this. It doesn’t matter whether your ruler is Caesar, Herod, Pilate, Felix, Fetus, Agrippa, Stalin, Hitler, Winston Churchill, Bill Clinton, it doesn’t matter who it is, he says be subject, you teach them to be subject.”

My co-Soldiers in the Truth War the ODMafia agree that we need more Super-Patriots among us that’s why we approve of this—-ODMafia approved….Don Jobson and Arthur McJohn endorsed

Predestined Cheater Caught

PSA from a random internet comment…this is a filler post just because we thought the message was important….

Tuesday 15 June

By Reformed Cheater

Highest Rank

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After 10 yrs of marriage, I was pursued by a woman and I gave in. I knew it was the wrong thing to do so I ended the affair. The pursuing woman wrote my wife and spilled the whole story. I was devastated by the whole event. I loved my wife and deeply regretted what I had done. Of course the pain she suffered was great. I write this because all situations are different. I knew I was wrong and repented to my wife and to god. I will never cheat again and yes, I can be trusted to never cheat again. After the pain that my wife and I went through because of this, I will never do such a thing again. It is better for two people to reconcile and live in love than to live in the memory of a failed relationship that was once wonderful. I love my wife and although she will never forget what I did, I have devoted my life to re-establishing my love and trust to this wonderful woman.

http://www.asylum.com/2010/06/14/when-women-cheat-what-4-real-guys-learned-from-infidelity/?icid=main|main|dl4|link3|http%3A%2F%2Fwww.asylum.com%2F2010%2F06%2F14%2Fwhen-women-cheat-what-4-real-guys-learned-from-infidelity%2F

Celebrities Endorsed Rob Bell’s Dr. Pepper

Gene Simmons of Kiss in the past endorsed Rob Bell’s heretical plot to use Dr. Pepper to lure unsuspecting sinners into believing God’s Love wins. Quote one of our old articles—Actual quote from Rob Bell (a heretic): “Hahaha…if I use the same colors on the book cover of Love Wins as Dr. Pepper Cherry, people will have to believe my Universalist message that Love Wins.” Ken Silva who wasn’t half the Discernmentalist that we are—failed to catch that. Thankfully though we have warned you at just how crafty the Emergent Church’s secret Agenda is!

Thankfully our Research Robot Monkeys also heard that Gene recently got saved from the Emergent hordes as he was heard weeping tears of joy at the Pentagon from hearing the good news of their war mongering. We heard he repented and started worshipping America First again—thank our Angry God! Now you may not know but elsewhere Rob Bell (a heretic) said this against our beloved America which proves him a heretic as America should never be questioned:

“Most of the Bible is a history told by people living in lands occupied by conquering superpowers. It is a book written from the underside of power. It’s an oppression narrative. The majority of the Bible was written by a minority people living under the rule and reign of massive, mighty empires, from the Egyptian Empire to the Babylonian Empire to the Persian Empire to the Assyrian Empire to the Roman Empire.

This can make the Bible a very difficult book to understand if you are reading it as a citizen of the most powerful empire the world has ever seen. Without careful study and reflection, and humility, it may even be possible to miss central themes of the Scriptures.”
― Rob Bell, Jesus Wants to Save Christians: A Manifesto for the Church in Exile

You see there he’s saying Americans can’t understand the Bible—nonsense as we all know Americans (or at least Nationalists) wrote our Bible. Here’s a Trumpism for you to counteract this heresy: “We love winners. We love winners. Winners are winners.”