Archive for the ‘Arthur McJohn’ Category

John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) Will Get You Rapture Ready For Saturday!

May 19, 2011

John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) unlike Brian McLaren and his Emerging Babylonian hordes never falls prey to the winds of ear-tickling doctrines. This is because Saint John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) keeps his doctrines so Purer than anyone else’s that he can never fail at being the True Truth Warrior of Absolute Biblical Truth that he Truly is. Take the Pure Biblical Doctrine of the Rapture for instance—John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) has said: “It’s become kind of popular today, in the last two or three years, to believe in the rapture occurring at the end of the tribulation. There has been three positions, historically, “pre-trib,” “mid-trib,” and “post-trib.” What that means is the rapture occurs at the end of the tribulation: “post-tribulation;” the middle of the tribulation: “mid-tribulation;” the beginning of the tribulation: “pre-tribulation.” Now if you wanted to catalog me I would have to claim to be a “pre-tribulationist.” I believe the Church will be taken out before the tribulation.

Of course because Truth Matters, we all know that the Rapture is Pure Biblical Teaching and not a man-made invention by a deluded Scottish teenager unlike Brian McLaren’s heretical notion that the Kingdom of God is present in the world and within us. Phil Johnson and the Pyromaniacs agree as John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) has also said after being questioned about his Premillenial Dispensationalist Rapture beliefs:

Questioner: I am concern about Dispensationalism, I have been listening to Charles Swindoll, yourself and Dave Hawking, I really enjoy their ministry. And they all preach the pre-tribulation rapture, and I can buy that. I think it’s great. And then I hear some other respected men in the Lord say, “Well that is a dispensational point of view,” and they imply that that is something that has taken place within the last hundred years or so within the church. I just like to hear a little from you.

John MacArthur’s Answer: You see, that is just a label that they throw. What do you mean a dispensational point of view? The word dispensation is a NT word, Paul said “It was committed unto him the dispensation of the grace of God, dispensation of the mysteries.” It simply means a stewardship, it’s simply a term, that’s all. This is the accusation over and over again that Dispensationalism popped up with J. N. Darby, and C. I. Scofield, and all of that? But we are not working our way through a system, but rather attempting to interpret scripture on its own merit.

Ok, you have some basic things to deal with. Dispensationalism, by the way, is simply a title for theology that recognizes a literal nation Israel to be restored in the future. And recognizes a literal kingdom, and a literal tribulation, and a literal return, and a literal rapture, and that is dispensational. The other perspective is what’s called non-dispensational or covenant theology, which has no place for Israel, no kingdom in the future, and spiritualizes everything rather than making it literal.

Now, what you have to do is to go back to some very basic things. Dispensation simply means that God manages things in a certain way at a certain time. Everybody is a dispensationalist, everybody. I don’t care who they are in theology, they’re dispensational.

Elsewhere John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) has defined Every Self-Respecting Calvinist as a Premillennial Dispensationalist—in other words all True Christians are Premillenial Dispensationalist Rapture believers like John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) and Harold Camping. We hope this helps get you Rapture Ready for the Rapture and Judgement Day this Saturday—oh and don’t forget to buy one of our handy dandy RaptureHatches to be prepared… so  don’t get Left Behind with the unregenerate non-Elect heathens… be Rapture Ready with our Final Prophet John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.).

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Easter Is Satanic?

April 9, 2011

It is that time of year again—the time of year that we must tell everyone else why they’re wrong for celebrating Easter. We loathe the very idea of Easter not because of  the very idea of the Easter Bunny but because celebrating the death and Resurrection of our Lord and Savior in the church is blasphemous and idolatrous. I mean why celebrate a biblically based holiday when you can do the complete opposite like celebrating Reformation Day, Thanksgiving and Calvin’s 500th birthday in churches.

Besides Easter is a pagan Catholic Satanist invention:

The Post Reformation pastors and theologians of the day, following the Reformers, abolished Easter, among other things. In June 1647, England Parliament, headed by the Puritans at Westminster, passed legislation abolishing Christmas and other holidays: “Forasmuch as the feast of the nativity of Christ, Easter, Whitsuntide, and other festivals, commonly called holy-days, have been heretofore superstitiously used and observed; be it ordained, that the said feasts, and all other festivals, commonly called holy-days, be no longer observed as festivals; any law, statute, custom, constitution, or canon, to the contrary in anywise not withstanding.” (Daniel Neal, The History of the Puritans (London, 1837; rpt. Minneapolis: Klock , p. 45).

The Puritans “proposed a stricter observance of Sundays, the Lord’s Day, along with banning the immoral celebration of Christmas — as well as Easter, Whitsun and saints’ days.” (Patino, Marta, The Puritan Ban on Christmas). The reason the puritans denied the celebration of any holy days was a biblical foundation to deny the “dressing up” of any other day than what God had specifically prescribed in Lord’s Day worship. “Holy days’ have no such prescription — there is no Scriptural command, approved example, or good and necessary inference, which warrants tying specific acts of redemption to ‘holy’ days of our own choosing.” (Chris Coldwell, The Religious Observance of Christmas and ‘Holy Days’ in American Presbyterianism) (I would encourage the reader to read the entire article that Coldwell has at that link which covers not only Easter, but other holidays.)

In “The Quest for Purity: Dynamics of Puritan Movements” by Walter E. a Van Beek, he states, “Because Easter invariably fell on a Sunday, this was a problem for Puritan preachers who were consistent with their repudiation of of the traditional calendar. The usual solution was to preach a sermon that had no direct connection with Easter.” (Page 77.) How would a congregation today take a non-Easter sermon on Easter Sunday? What would your reaction be, reader?

Contrary To Popular Opinion…

July 24, 2010

…The Amish And Not Radical Muslims Were Responsible For The 9-11 World Trade Center Terrorist Attacks.

We have Absolute Proof:

Returning back to a previous comment made by one of our Research Robot Monkeys:  

“Calvinists in  the time of the Reformation considered the Anabaptists to be more dangerous and threatening to the Reformation and to true Biblical Christianity than Romanism.”

We agree—oh how evil those Anabaptists were—I mean how dare they not participate in such Christ-Centered and God-exalting activities such as burning people alive at the stake, drowning people, locking people in their church buildings and setting it and them aflame, torturing random people, etc. Now that’s what I call “true Biblical Christianity”—I mean it’s not like the Roman Catholic Church ever did any of that stuff. Oh no they were never as Godly as our Saints. Besides remember these Pure Words from our Truth War Epistles: “Whoever shall now contend that it is unjust to put heretics and blasphemers to death will knowingly and willingly incur their very guilt.”

Just listen to some of the horrible and man-exalting beliefs of the Anabaptists—Balthasar Hubmaier, Concerning Heretics and Those Who Burn Them:

You see there the Anabaptists attacked our Pure Bible-Based Gospel Doctrines that is why they were and still are so vicious and sinister. Clearly the Anabaptists were such monstrous and Godless heathens as:

“These miserable fanatics have no other goal than to put everything into disorder.. They reveal themselves to be the enemies of God and of the human race…” 

In fact because “Calvinists in  the time of the Reformation considered the Anabaptists to be more dangerous and threatening to the Reformation and to true Biblical Christianity than Romanism”—we believe that the Amish and other Anabaptist sects of today are more dangerous and threatening to true Biblical Christianity than Radical Muslims. In fact, We Know that the Amish are truly Spiritual Terrorists since the Amish are pacifists, and we know all pacifists are Amerika-haters/pinko-commies/muslim/atheist/cheese-eaters/junk-heads, so of course they would be responsible for the 9-11 terrorist attacks, the Great Depression, Pearl Harbor and all the other attacks on us, our Pure Doctrines and our Godly Way of Life.

Socialists Defect From Canada And Join The GOIP

April 20, 2010

A group of former hockey playing feminists aka the Fernie Swastikas  have fled from Communistic Canuckistan in order to escape to a better life of being a man’s property. We applaud their bibliolatrous efforts and have welcomed them with opened arms to their new freedom of  the right to be a man’s slave here in the Bible Belt of America. What a great testimony to the bible centeredness of our True Republican and True Christian party:  God’s Only Inerrant Party.

We are so inspired by the Fernie Swastikas’ story as they said that it was Final President Ronald Reagan who brought them to repent of their former feminist and Socialistic ways which ultimately led them to reject their non-Calvinistic soteriology and therefore get regenerated in the Discernmentalist faith in Calvin by God’s Predetermined Grace. Praise God!  They also said that Final President Reagan’s version of the Little Red Hen folktale convinced them to escape Communistic controled Canada. Thank God and remember Soli Calvinus et Reaganus Gloria!

A Public Service Announcement

April 19, 2010

 

Finally A True Bible-Believing God-honoring Email Domain Address That God Is Proud Of

March 31, 2010

                 

A thank you from New World Order Weekend

What can a @Reagan.com Email address do for you? you may ask:

Why Your email address with Reagan.com will send a clear message to the recipient: You are a True Bible-Believing, God-honoring,  Regenerated Elect, Frozen And Chozen Reagan Conservative and Fundamentalist Christian, period.

Each @Reagan.com address is built on the ideal that each person should pay for and leave God to control his or her hate speech communications via the latest Holy Spirit chip technology built by GOIP Labs and featured in the new iTruth made  by the the ODMafia Research and Discernmentalist Labs for truth warriors by truth warriors.  At the same time it should allow you the freedom through American Gospel and Bible-based techniques to check your email and calendar at anytime and from any place in the world under American sovereign imperial control where there is an internet connection using a computer or your smart phone. Your @Reagan.com address will even work in all 52 states of America including the newly annexed States of RonaldReaganistan and Rumsfeld’s Democratic American Republican State of Bushraqistan also your @Reagan.com address will work in America’s future Provinces including Illegal Immigrant Cheap Labor And Tacos’ Land Of Profitable Beach Resorts For Rich White American Tourists, Canuckistan: Northern Province Of Eh!, Urup: Our Ancestors’ Land aka The Old Country and the  separate Territories of We Kicked Ur Butt Twice Island, Whiny White-Flagged Pushovers: Land Of Easy-Surrenders and United Popeland

Our Holy Spirit chip techonology features a State of the art email and calendar system for true conservatives and those who are Truly Elected to Salvation @reagan.com. What are some of the other features of the @Reagan.com Email address—why it is:

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And by simple we mean complex. Plus you Only get what  we think you need when we think you need it.

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Own your @Reagan.com Email address for the easy payment of Only $34.95/yr plus other funds we decide to steal from the poor. An @Reagan.com Email address is  the righteous and Godly way to spend your money. Don’t waste your hard earned money on unregenerate non-Elect reprobated poor lazy bums and slobs like those Red-Letter Christians do as the poor were created to be poor and destroyed from the foundation of the world. Create your personal @Reagan.com email today using the form that we will provide you with in order to make sure of your Secured Elected Salvation and that you are Truly of the Inerrant Right who are always right.

Roger Williams Attacks Discernmentalists From The Grave

March 14, 2010

 

Our Research Robot Monkeys have been reading Deformed Reader lately—which led them to come up with the conclusion that  Roger Williams was an apostate. Deformed Reader states of Williams’ Anti-Discernmentalist character

The arrival and expansion of (Ana)Baptists in North America

The famous American-Swiss church historian Rev. Prof. Dr. Philip Schaff has informed us427 that “in America the Baptists trace their origin chiefly…to Roger Williams…. He was charged with advocating certain opinions supposed to be dangerous.”

These included the viewpoints: “that the magistrate ought not to punish offences against the First Table [of God’s Law]; that an oath ought not to be tendered to an unregenerate man; [and] that a regenerate man ought not to pray with the unregenerate, though it be his wife or child….

“He [Roger Williams] was immersed by Ezekiel Hollyman [during 1639] — and, in turn, immersed Hollyman and ten others. This was the first Baptist church on the American Continent. But a few months afterwards, he renounced his rebaptism — on the ground that Hollyman was unbaptized [meaning unsubmersed], and therefore unauthorized to administer the rite to him.”

Clearly, it never dawned on Roger Williams that nobody had baptized John the baptizer. Yet it was John (and apparently by pouring or sprinkling) who baptized Jesus Christ. And it is the Latter’s baptism alone which gives validity to all Christian baptisms.

Incredibly, the apostate Roger Williams pleaded428 even for the complete toleration of Islam, Judaism and Paganism. He read Dutch well; knew of the political concepts of the Dutch Anabaptists; and accordingly rejected the British and American Puritans and their Christonomic Theocracy.429 Unfortunately, the Dutch (Ana)Baptistic heresies of Roger Williams have now massively corrupted especially the United States.

Dr. Arthur McJohn and I want you to know just how hideously apostate Roger Williams was—just listen to these Anti-Discernmentalist quotes:

It is the will and command of God that…a permission of the most Paganish, Jewish, Turkish or anti-christian consciences and worships be granted to all men in all nations and countries.”

Enforced uniformity confounds civil and religious liberty and denies the principles of Christianity and civility. No man shall be required to worship or maintain a worship against his will.”

That cannot be a true religion which needs carnal weapons to uphold it.”God requireth not a uniformity of religion.”

God requireth not a uniformity of religion to be enacted in any civil state; which enforced uniformity (sooner or later) is the greatest occasion of civil war, ravishing of conscience, persecution of Christ Jesus in his servants, and of the hypocrisy and destruction of millions of souls.”

How dare he speak of Religious Liberty for anyone but those who bow down to our Pure Doctrines! Clearly Roger Williams is attacking us from the grave as his ideas are attacking our vision for a Theocratic AmericaClearly “liberty of conscience” and “tolerance” are liberal code words for “get along and love one another.”  Our Final Prophet teaches this fact that only we Discernmentalists  deserve True Religious Liberty:

“A new heresy has been discovered,” he said. “We must stamp out this burst of hell-fire before it spreads over the surface of the earth…. Freedom of conscience is a doctrine of the devil…. Better to have a tyrant, however cruel, than permit everyone to do what he pleases.”

If that alone isn’t evidence enough that Roger Williams was clearly a heretical apostate then consider this: an apple tree root in the shape of  a Serpent ate his corpse. Coincidence—we think not!

  

Capitalism Could’ve Saved Haiti

February 27, 2010

We Know  that Capitalism could’ve saved Haiti from God-ordained destruction as Capitalism is BiblicalJoel McDurmon writes:

Socialism and the corruption that attends welfare-Statism in Haiti have consistently rejected free markets and the prosperity that come with them for decades. Walter Williams documents Haiti’s combination of 1) lack of economic freedom, 2) rampant corruption, 3) catastrophic crime, and 4) denigration of private property rights. He notes, “Haitian President Rene Preval is not enthusiastic about free markets; his heroes are none other than the hemisphere’s two brutal communist tyrants: Venezuela’s Hugo Chavez and Cuba’s Fidel Castro.”

 

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Chavez and Castro? Perhaps Pat Robertson was not so far off. Haiti has indeed made a pact with the devil—incarnate in the political style of Chavez and Castro.

Clearly this is why Haiti had to be destroyed by God’s Wrath. We Know so.

Jim Wallis’ Secret Communist Marxist Manifesto Discovered

February 24, 2010

Adolf Howse and his researchmentalists team have discovered  Jim Wallis’ Secret Communist Marxist Manifesto hidden in a Texas bus station locker somewhere. Above you can see how menacing and evil looking it is. How it got there, who really planted it and why it is in German (Adolf Howse’s favorite language besides Bible-Based English/slander) we don’t really know?

Although Dr. Truthslayer has theorized that Jim Wallis was trying to cover up Adolf Howse’s slander lies libel expose on Wallis. Dr. I. Todyaso agreed as did Dr. Arthur McJohn. Dr. Will Farel XV however was under the opinion that there was a secret code hidden in the German vowels. Erich Badger is now working around the clock with our affectionate Uncle Ken Silva’s help in trying to crack any secret codes in it if they really are there.

Jan Markell and Doug Parris have pledged their undying support in our Absolute Truth War ways of slander, hatred, bigotry, misrepresentation and arrogance calling Red-Letter and Emergent Christians to repent of the truth their anti-Capitalism, anti-America and anti-American Gospel ways. All we can say is thank God and Ronald Reagan for Adolf Howse’s saving the Southern Baptist Convention from their sure destruction by Jim Wallis–otherwise Prestonwood Baptist Church may have had to hear such biblical unbiblical messages as this:

Ken Silva Contracts A Rare Emergent Virus

February 21, 2010

Yesterday Ken Silva contracted the rare hideous and disfiguring Emergent virus: Calvini sincerus doxolatroum vitare. This caused him to attack God’s Absolute Sovereignty and utter such an unReformed statement as this:

WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR UNLEASHING THE EMERGING CHURCH VIRUS EMBED CODE?

We Know who is responsible and the Pure Reformed answer is:

God from all eternity, did, by the most wise and holy counsel of His own will, freely, and unchangeably ordain whatsoever comes to pass yet so, as thereby neither is God the author of sin, nor is violence offered to the will of the creatures; nor is the liberty or contingency of second causes taken away, but rather established.
Westminster Larger Catechism Q3

That means that God is responsible and the One who caused from the Foundation of the World the UNLEASHING of  THE EMERGING CHURCH VIRUS which Ken Silva contracted. We all are now praying for Ken Silva to be healed and get well from such a dark and reprobated illness so that he can return to his ole Deformed Purely Reformed, Emergent-bashing and Discernmentalist self.