Posts Tagged ‘Online Discernmentalist Mafia’

“Nazis are Socialists;” Discernmentalists declare!

November 25, 2019

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Everyone knows that Nazis are socialists because the word “socialism” is in National Socialism just like:

  • The Democratic People’s Republic of North Korea is a democratic republic because the word “democratic republic” is in it.
  • Crime Stoppers are really criminals because the word “crime” is in Crime Stoppers.
  • Latinos/Latinas speak Latin because the word “Latin” is in their name.
  • Anti-Fascists are fascists because the word “fascist” is in the name.
  • Anti-Communists are actually communists because the word “communist” is in the title.
  • Atheists are theists because “theist” is in the word.

Find out these important illogical troll arguments and more in ODMafiaU‘s exciting new course for Online Discernmentalist Trolls: How To Troll Badly & Fail At It!

Dr. I. Todyaso of ODMafia fame called to fact check Babylon Bee

May 7, 2019

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Daily Bunker ODMs Express— Our very own Dr. I. Todyaso named Head Researcher and Fact Checker for Babylon Bee after they pledged to support us in being #1 in Absolute Truth; Alt-facts; journalism and Fake News in Discernmentalism. Quote: “We look forward to our new partnership in helping us spread our Truth War Pope’s Absolute Truth (PBUI) to more people and helping us fight the good fight in lying; slandering as well as falsely accusing others of heresy by spreading misinformation and made up quotes about them. Before the Babylon Bee there was only us and our mentor the late Ken Silva—we were lone voices in the wilderness calling out all those sliding off the True Path set before us by Calvin; purified by the Puritans and perfected by our Pope John MacArthur (PBUH). We’d like to think we taught the Bee everything we know.”—Dr. I. Todyaso of the Online Discernmentalist Mafia.

Will this match be made in heaven? We can only hope so as more people need to be exposed to the Purity of Discernmentlism’s Doctrines. Certainly the Babylon Bee and the ODMafia share the same sense of humor Doctrinal Clarity in common as this news report of theirs makes clear:

John MacArthur, pastor of Grace Community Church and president of The Master’s College and Seminary, has made a lofty promise to his congregation. He has reportedly committed to building a 20-foot thick, 30-foot high concrete wall around the entire perimeter of the church campus in order to keep out charismatics that might otherwise infiltrate their ranks.

“I will build a great wall, God willing. And I’ll build it very biblically. I will build a great, great wall all around our campus—and I’ll make the Pentecostals pay for it. Mark my words,” MacArthur was quoted as saying Friday.

—Tyrone V. Hoofendorfer for the Online Discernmentalist Mafia on Daily Bunker ODMs Express.

Your Best Hell Now!

April 28, 2019

Introducing a new book recently rediscovered in our super secret archives. In Your Worst Hell Now aka Your Best Hell Now sinisterly ecumenical possible semi-pelagian quasi-universalist mystic Emergence guru Rob Bell teaches heretical apostates these essential Christian non-Christian Doctrines:

  • That God is everywhere
  • Including hell
  • That God is love
  • That God’s love wins
  • That God wishes that all might be saved
  • Among other  square quotes “sinister” and biblical unbiblical ideas

We Online Discernmentalists know that no one before murky mystic Rob Bell, an icon in the postliberal cult of the Emergent Church and teaching pastor at Mars Hill Bible Church, taught this:

“In souls, there is no illness caused by evilness [ἀπὸ κακίας] that is impossible to cure [ἀδύνατον θεραπευθῆναι] for God the Logos, who is superior to all.” (CC 8.72)”
Origen, Contra Celsum

“Christ reigns in order to save.” (Hom. in Luc. 30)”
Origen, Homilies on Luke: Fragments on Luke
———-
As you can see from those sinister quotes above—this is why we of the ODMafia community would never under any circumstances recommend Rob Bell’s book. Our Research Robot Monkeys have just informed us that our old enemy Mike Morell recommends Rob Bell’s books to everyone that in itself should tell you how sinfully apostate this book isn’t.

Liberals Ruin Everything!

April 21, 2019

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                             REASONS WHY LIBERALS ARE HELLBOUND JACKA*#ES:

                                                   AN ESSAY IN DISCERNMENTALISM

BY

Dr. Truthslayer, Doctor of the Ministry of Disinformation & Bible-Based Slander, Esquire

Libruls ruin everything and are a stain on the world but most importantly they’re ruining  our Great Country. They insist on taking our sacred guns away. They boo God. They don’t love war enough. They disrespect the Holy Flag that Jesus personally hand-delivered to Ronald Reagan when he sent Karl Marx to Hell. They hate Capitalism. They love socialist communism and are fascist. They support gays having the right to marry. They protest everything. They believe in social 2add4115b31c7c79cd11ebcc461b2ccb--donald-trump-quotes-god-bless-americajustice. They value science and education. They read books. They kill babies. They hate families. They are ignorant of history and our inerrant God-written Constitution. Moslems and illegals are librul. They are unpatriotic and hate America aka the Kingdom of God. They are intollerant. They refuse to obey the same Romans 13 that our Founding Fathers disobeyed by taking up arms in rebellion against England  submitting to Trump. They are jerk@$$es—among many other ungodly and horrible things we disapprove of. Quote:

Quite a shame Libruls don’t base their postmodern opinion on to the founding fathers none of whom were Muslim but on actual primary source documents and facts. There was not even a shred of mention by them about Islam especially in the Treaty of Tripoli also Thomas Jefferson never owned a Koran. I’m sick of Libruls not starting out their arguments with “feelingsbut research and facts. I don’t care how you feel about things, you don’t get to change the facts to suit your preferences, just by not posting your favorite leftist postmodern Right-Wing propaganda opinion. Truth be told the founders would are not rolling over in their graves with everything you jackasses have done the screw up this country.”—Tyrone V. Hoofendorfer

Eradicate Popish-Pagan Holidays In America!

December 23, 2011

Our Pilgrim forefathers considered Christmas a display of “popish” extravagance inspired by Satan, and not without some justification. Until the 19th century Christmas was usually celebrated by drunken riots. The city council of New York finally voted to pay for a special uniformed Christmas day police force after a particularly deadly Christmas evening riot in 1828. But that didn’t stop a repeat in 1851 when the New York Tribune noted the “…musketry and firecrackers, the bacchanal songs and noisy revels, which for two hours after midnight made sleep not a thing to be dreamed of.”

Typical members of the Whore of Babylon (Romish Arminianist Satan-worshipers) trying to defend their unholy, ungodly and unbiblical Hell-a-day from True Bible-Believers:

We also believe that Christmas celebrates Satan and the birth of the anti-Christ like our Puritan ancestors—and you should too [believe that Christ-mass is the most Satanic time of the year under Ishtar (Easter)] as one of our top key Researchmentalists Sharon M. Whitley always says: “Btw, if you want to see a large, lavish Christmas display in a mall… go to Dubai in the UAE! Many countries that are not Christian celebrate this holiday. That right there should tell Christians it’s not of God!”

Now go out and make this Season a non-Pagan Holy Day by spending more of  your hard-earned cash on us. We require your tithes in a non-gift-giving way—buy our stuff like our new Rapture kit. Capitalism is how you can truly redeem this satanic Popish-Pagan season from idolatrous blasphemous Romish Arminianist filth for Capitalism is what makes America truly Holy and great as Capitalism is Biblical!  And your hard-earned money which you must tithe to us helps keep fine quality Discernmentalist websites like this one up and running.

How To Write A Ken Silvaesque Article! | eHow.com

October 13, 2011

So you want to write an Apprising article just like Ken Silva? Well follow these eight simple steps and pretty soon you’ll be able to write an Apprising Discernmentalist Missive like a pro and even one up Ken Silva himself:

  1. Step one—choose a subject on whom you want to apprise the church on: Candace Cameron-Bure.
  2. Step 2: Can you discern anything slightly heretical about the subject whom you’ve chosen? Yes.
  3. Step 3: Define what you have deemed heretical about the subject you are writing on: Recently Candace Cameron-Bure appeared on a worldly Nickelodeon game show.
  4. Step 4: Here would be a good place in the article to add a screen-capture preferably of a Twitter account to use as incriminating evidence:
  5. Step 5: Was what you deemed heretical a book, a quote, an event or something else? A worldly Nickelodeon game show appearance.
  6. Step 6: What made this so heretical? (Hint: Now is a good time to link your article back to any of your other fellow Online Discernmentalist Ministries and friends or one of your own articles). I’ve already told you that Worldliness is an abomination remember as Romans 12:2 states: “Be not conformed to the world” also as Proverbs 27: 20 states: “‘Hell and destruction are never full; so the eyes of man are never satisfied.” Not only is Nickelodeon worldly but my fellow Truth Warrior Eric Barger has discernmentalized some startling facts about Nickelodeon’s connection to the New World Order and the Occult: “Beware of New Nickelodeon Show: A new, heavily advertised program debuting tomorrow (January 1) on Nickelodeon will introduce American children to a Harry Potter-like hit show from Belgian called “The House of Anubis.” From watching the video trailer for the new TV show, it is very obvious that the producers are cashing in on the blockbuster success of the J.K. Rowling novels. It also further illustrates the fascination and affinity the world is showing for entertainment which promotes ungodly supernaturalism. At very least “The House of Anubis” glorifies its namesake – “a jackal-headed god associated with mummification and the afterlife in Egyptian mythology.” In occult circles, Anubis is known as one of the most powerful demonic deities. I wrote about this is the updated version of my book (with David Benoit) Entertaining Spirits Unaware: The End-Time Occult Invasion. (See: http://www.ericbarger.com/esu.htm) This is just another step in the desensitization process of our society (and out children). Our world is now viewing the occult as “normal” – a certain sign of the End-Days.” Therefore we can only conclude that by Candace Cameron-Bure appearing on a show on a network that promotes Occultic NWO shows then she has destroyed any integrity in her purity of  True Christian Doctrine that she had left and may in fact be a False Convert. Also she was sinfully-ecumenical on that worldly show with Larry Kinga known supporter of Liberal politics who rejects the True Gospel and Joey Fatone-who was a member in a band with a homosexual.  This sends the world the wrong message. This tells the world that Christians accept the great lie and satanic deception of Liberalism that means that homosexuality and abortion are ok but war is wrong. Lastly, the worldly show that Candace Cameron-Bure appeared on promotes sharing and charities which are communism and socialism according to my fellow Discernmentalist Jan Markell’s clear teachings.
  7. Step 7: Make sure to add at least one quote or two from John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) or Spurgeon or both of these men of God  to add a little “non-sissified anti-Evanjellyfish doctrinal theology” into your article: “If you’ve been watching the headlines over the last couple years, you may have noticed the incredible surge of interest in affirming homosexuality. Whether it’s at the heart of a religious scandal, political corruption, radical legislation, or the redefinition of marriage, homosexual interests have come to characterize America. That’s an indication of the success of the gay agenda. And some Christians, including some national church leaders, have wavered on the issue even recently. But sadly, when people refuse to acknowledge the sinfulness of homosexuality–calling evil good and good evil (Isaiah 5:20)–they do so at the expense of many souls. How should you respond to the success of the gay agenda? Should you accept the recent trend toward tolerance? Or should you side with those who exclude homosexuals with hostility and disdain? In reality, the Bible calls for a balance between what some people think are two opposing reactions–condemnation and compassion. Really, the two together are essential elements of biblical love, and that’s something the homosexual sinner desperately needs. Homosexual advocates have been remarkably effective in selling their warped interpretations of passages in Scripture that address homosexuality. When you ask a homosexual what the Bible says about homosexuality–and many of them know–they have digested an interpretation that is not only warped, but also completely irrational. Pro-homosexual arguments from the Bible are nothing but smokescreens–as you come close, you see right through them. God’s condemnation of homosexuality is abundantly clear–He opposes it in every age.“—Dr. John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) on the Gay Agenda. Spurgeon on worldliness: “It is clear to every one who is willing to see it that laxity of doctrine is either the parent of worldliness, or is in some other way very near akin to it. The men who give up the old faith are the same persons who plead for latitude as to general conduct. The Puritan is not more notorious for his orthodoxy than for his separateness from the world. Liberal divines do not always command the respect of the public, but they gain a certain popularity by pandering to prevailing tastes. The ungodly world is so far on their side that it commends them for their liberality, and rails at the orthodox as bigots and kill-joys. It is a very suspicious circumstance that very often the less a man knows of the inner life, and the less he even cares to speak of it, the more heartily he is for the new theology, the theory of evolution, and the condemnation of all settled doctrine. Those who would have a blessing from the Lord must avoid all this, and determine to follow the Lord fully. Not only must they quit false doctrine, but they must receive the gospel, not as dogma, but as vital truth. Only as the truth is attended with living faith will it prove its own royal power. Believers must also sweep the house of the leaven of worldliness, and the frivolities of a giddy generation. The evil which is now current eats as doth a canker, and there is no hope for healthy godliness until it is cut out of the body of the church by her again repenting, and doing her first works.
  8. Step 8: Write a conclusion: “Let’s mobilize our Lord’s forces and lift up the banner of Jesus Christ of Nazareth—our great God and Savior—for the whole world to see! For he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world (1 John 4:4) Might we give ourselves completely to the Lord that He use us to rescue those lost in the twisted kingdom of the cults.” Finish. Congratulations! Now, you’ve written a Ken Silvaesque article!

Emerging Shark Possibly Indentified!

September 23, 2011

“We saw the shark’s nose emerge and then the man just vanished. It was very sudden, then the animal just swam off. ”

Update: Apprising Ken Silva News ReportsEmerging Church Shark spotted swimming deep in the Indian Ocean earlier this morning. Authorities say be on the look out for any sign of “tall hair” breaking the surface of the water in your area. You may also know an Emerging Shark by his or her lack of Doctrinal convictions. Quote Phil Johnson:

“If you happen to read the book [Beliefs of Emerging Churches – Five Perspectives], let me know if Kimball’s chapter strikes you the same way it struck me. Not only does it seem like Kimball has not really thought his position through very carefully; I got the distinct impression he wouldn’t really care to give it much more serious thought. Frankly, the message that comes across in that chapter is that he really doesn’t want to be bothered with doctrine. Like a lot of postmodern church members, he doesn’t seem to have the stomach for propositional theology …

“Even the most conservative voices in the Emerging Church movement face this problem to some degree, because although they might not be self-consciously postmodern in their own thinking, they are too concerned with keeping ‘the conversation’ going. Once someone abandons his or her doctrinal convictions to the degree Kimball advocates and embraces ‘the conversation’ as a primary goal instead, the commandment in Jude 3 (‘Contend earnestly for the faith which was once for all delivered to the saints’) becomes next to impossible to obey …”
– Philip Johnson

John Calvin “Frisked” At Liberty and Grace Reformed Church

September 21, 2011

Pastor Steven Dilday in echo of George W. Bush’s “Patriot Act” opts to create the first ever “Clergy Act” in an attempt to root out all those spiritual terrorists who dare to partake in the sins of the Whore of Babylon—the Scarlet Mother of all Harlots: the Roman Catholic Cult by wearing robes and stoles to preach. Quote Steven Dilday: “this is the most pressing and urgent of issues of our time—we should hold the theology of those who wear vestments in the pulpit suspect.” One of the first victims of Pastor Dilday’s Clergy Act was a John Calvin impersonator who was held suspect for looking too sinisterly like a Jesuit gestapo in his black robes:

We most mightily thank Pastor Dilday for bringing this clear and most important teaching on one  of  “the most pressing and urgent of issues of our time.” Why if a John Calvin impersonator can be held theologically suspect then we must also hold the real Calvin theologically suspect! On a related note—Pastor Dilday elsewhere declared that Calvinists should abandon Calvin for not being Truly Refomed and Calvinistic enough. We agree as Calvin was a little too Semi-Pelagian for our tastes and did not hold to the Truth of the Ways of our Master.

Remember this is a Truth War after-all so we must hold everyone accountable to ourStandard of ourTruth of ourPure Doctrines. Thankfully you have this humble Truly Reformed Bible-Believing Truth War Discernment Ministry to Take A Stand in ourDoctrines on “this most pressing and urgent of issues of our time.” We here at this ministry are all about grace and nothing but Grace… in fact we are the most Grace-loving man-hating site on the net. We would never ever heap the burden of the Law upon you or preach anything like a Works-Salvation unlike those Grace-hating man-glorfiying Catholic-worshippers. We just expect you to keep ourRules lest we deem you unworthy of God’s Grace and therefore unfit for the Kingdom.

So Liberty and Grace To You, God’s Only Elect in the Great Grace of the wide and loving mercy of our Angry God’s Sovereign Hate and Wrath.

—————————–

Update # 1: Martin Luther wore vestments clearly he must have hated liberty and grace for partaking in the sin of the Papists.

Update # 2: We caught one of our own Ken Silva wearing a bathrobe… he must be on the Road to Rome. Now we must put his site under surveillance.

Update # 3: Johnathan Edwards wore a clerical collar… a clear perversion of the Doctrines of Grace.

Update # 4: We wiretapped Ken Silva’s phone and overheard Ken talking with Chris Rosebrough (an avowed Lutheran) and Ingrid of SOL/Crosstalk (a possible Lutheran). Now we must really put his site under surveillance as now we really have reason to suspect that he is Emerging into Rome.

Update # 5: Oh horror of horrors… the Ways of the Master himself caught preaching sans coat and tie in a Rick Warrenesque shirt. He’s one step closer to Rick Warren’s heretical Purpose-Driven Agenda.

Ordination Of Women Causes Your Home To Be Robbed

September 20, 2011



“This is the fullest and most informative analysis available, and no one will be able to deny the cumulative strength of the case this author makes.” – J.I. Packer

Clearly this is why we all must take a stand against women preaching. Why I just heard the other day that a female pastor was preaching in a liberal apostate church and caused the whole congregation to contract AIDS. Ken Silva was there so of course this must be True. Speaking of Ken Silva a church that Ken frequently attends had this to say about women in the church:

The Bible teaches that women are not to speak in church. This is an apostolic rule that is based on the created order. The fact that our society is in rebellion against the biblical teaching regarding women does not make the Bible obsolete; it makes us who adopt the world’s values shameful and dishonoring to the Lord.

While we’re at it we should forbid women from sneezing in church as I heard from a colleague of our Truth War that a woman sneezed in his church and Satan appeared out of the drainpipe and started flinging feces around. As you can see my facts are correct as Ken Silva would approve. This is how dangerous even letting a woman breathe in church is. As John MacArthur says: “Wouldn’t it be bad to have a few women teachers and preachers and elders?” Yes, yes it would… women are evil incarnate.

Proof:

And here to support what he has just said, come these two wonderful verses, 13 and 14. Here is the root of the role of a woman in the design of God. Verse 13, “For Adam was first formed, then Eve.” Now that is so clear. Woman’s place was ordained in the order of the creation. Adam was made first and then woman. First, protas, first in rank, chief. He is ish, she is ishshah, in the Hebrew. In 1 Corinthians chapter 11, verse 8, “For the man is not of the woman, but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman. but the woman for the man.” And that’s why she ought to recognize his authority. In creation, God made man first. Now keep this in mind. Man was made for God and woman was made for man. Eve was made for Adam. She was made to be his helper. Genesis 2:18-25. She is his glory. Man is the glory of God, woman is the glory of man. She is made to be the helper of man. She is to follow his lead, live in his provision, find safety in his strength and protection in his courage. The tendency to follow was built into Eve until the fall, and then came the curse, and in that curse the tendency to…to rule and then the conflict. This is not a cultural issue, friends. This is not a cultural issue. Those people who say, “Well, this was just some bias.” This is not any Pauline bias. This is not some rabbinical gloss. This is Genesis. This is creation. It isn’t temporary and it isn’t cultural. Adam was first formed, then Eve.

So remember: “Liberty and Grace to you fellow male Truth-Warriors; women be silent.”

Thankfully you have this True Bible-Believing Online Discernment Ministry to warn you of all this evil—standing in our Great Doctrines,

Don Jobson.

Ken Silva Quote Of The Day

September 14, 2011

Your daily dose of Ken Silva:

“I’d rather lack a brain than be like those sissified Evanjellyfish Emergynts and lack a backbone.” —Ken Silva on whether or not simple mental capabilities, higher critical thinking, logical skills and reasoning have anything to do with following Jesus and the spiritual life of a Christian.