Archive for the ‘bible-centrism’ Category

Key Discernmentalists Push Scientology Agenda

August 9, 2011

Todd Friel joins Brannon Howse and John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) in pushing the Scientology Agenda

Yes that’s right and remember in the words of the famous Scientologist Discernmentalist Tom Cruise: “Psychiatrists and psycologists are worthless and only out to take your money and have an easy job. Psycology used to be called “the study of the soul” but now its not. Only Scientology God is the answer for anyones emotional, mental problems because it comes from the soul. Secular psycology wont help.“—(MaharlikaAWA 4 days ago).

I mean would you really want to ‘promote a worldview that provides a crutch for people by making them be dependent on drugs with lots of side effects‘… I mean really? We didn’t think so either—after all even Psychologists admit that Secular Psychology and Psychiatry can’t cure anyone:

So there you go Secular Psychology never helped anyone—only devoting all of our energies in devotion to God’s Absolute Sovereign Wrath and commendable hatred towards non-hyper-Calvinists will anyone be saved, cured, healed, etc. While you’re at it please join us in our Absolute Truth War against Secular Medical Science aka Gnosticism.  And remember:

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New Quick And Painless Way

June 27, 2011

To Remove Jesus From Your Heart:

Have you ever asked Jesus into your heart? What about accepting Jesus as the Lord and Savior of your life? Or receiving Jesus to fill your God-shaped hole? Is Jesus more important to you than any other religious leader? If you answered yes to any of the following—congratulations you’re not even a Real and True Christian and most likely worship Satan, the Pope or Mary as your dark lord and master a False Convert.

If you have found that you were rated a False Convert—never fear Todd Friel with Brannon Howse’s help have introduced a new quick and pain-free way to reverse your status and make sure that you become a True Convert this time around. Introducing the new surgical procedure to surgically remove Jesus from False Converts’ hearts: Operation JesuScopic Surgery! Why let Jesus fool around in your heart when you can have your heart filled with the Puritan Hard Drive (PHD)—now with twice the amount of John Owen’s fatalistic arrogance!

John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) Will Get You Rapture Ready For Saturday!

May 19, 2011

John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) unlike Brian McLaren and his Emerging Babylonian hordes never falls prey to the winds of ear-tickling doctrines. This is because Saint John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) keeps his doctrines so Purer than anyone else’s that he can never fail at being the True Truth Warrior of Absolute Biblical Truth that he Truly is. Take the Pure Biblical Doctrine of the Rapture for instance—John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) has said: “It’s become kind of popular today, in the last two or three years, to believe in the rapture occurring at the end of the tribulation. There has been three positions, historically, “pre-trib,” “mid-trib,” and “post-trib.” What that means is the rapture occurs at the end of the tribulation: “post-tribulation;” the middle of the tribulation: “mid-tribulation;” the beginning of the tribulation: “pre-tribulation.” Now if you wanted to catalog me I would have to claim to be a “pre-tribulationist.” I believe the Church will be taken out before the tribulation.

Of course because Truth Matters, we all know that the Rapture is Pure Biblical Teaching and not a man-made invention by a deluded Scottish teenager unlike Brian McLaren’s heretical notion that the Kingdom of God is present in the world and within us. Phil Johnson and the Pyromaniacs agree as John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) has also said after being questioned about his Premillenial Dispensationalist Rapture beliefs:

Questioner: I am concern about Dispensationalism, I have been listening to Charles Swindoll, yourself and Dave Hawking, I really enjoy their ministry. And they all preach the pre-tribulation rapture, and I can buy that. I think it’s great. And then I hear some other respected men in the Lord say, “Well that is a dispensational point of view,” and they imply that that is something that has taken place within the last hundred years or so within the church. I just like to hear a little from you.

John MacArthur’s Answer: You see, that is just a label that they throw. What do you mean a dispensational point of view? The word dispensation is a NT word, Paul said “It was committed unto him the dispensation of the grace of God, dispensation of the mysteries.” It simply means a stewardship, it’s simply a term, that’s all. This is the accusation over and over again that Dispensationalism popped up with J. N. Darby, and C. I. Scofield, and all of that? But we are not working our way through a system, but rather attempting to interpret scripture on its own merit.

Ok, you have some basic things to deal with. Dispensationalism, by the way, is simply a title for theology that recognizes a literal nation Israel to be restored in the future. And recognizes a literal kingdom, and a literal tribulation, and a literal return, and a literal rapture, and that is dispensational. The other perspective is what’s called non-dispensational or covenant theology, which has no place for Israel, no kingdom in the future, and spiritualizes everything rather than making it literal.

Now, what you have to do is to go back to some very basic things. Dispensation simply means that God manages things in a certain way at a certain time. Everybody is a dispensationalist, everybody. I don’t care who they are in theology, they’re dispensational.

Elsewhere John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) has defined Every Self-Respecting Calvinist as a Premillennial Dispensationalist—in other words all True Christians are Premillenial Dispensationalist Rapture believers like John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) and Harold Camping. We hope this helps get you Rapture Ready for the Rapture and Judgement Day this Saturday—oh and don’t forget to buy one of our handy dandy RaptureHatches to be prepared… so  don’t get Left Behind with the unregenerate non-Elect heathens… be Rapture Ready with our Final Prophet John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.).

We Hate Easter!

April 8, 2011

If there is any Evil Pagan unholy-day we hate just as much as the blasphemous Roman Arminian Papist Christ-Mass—it would be Easter…why you may ask? Because Easter is the spawn of Satan:

Easter: The Devil’s Holiday
Recalling the fundamentals of the Papist Holiday and what we should be thinking about as true Christians.

Easter: The Devil’s Holiday
by Dr. C. Matthew McMahon

Easter has little to do with real Christianity. Does that surprise you? It should not. For example, Easter was not popular with the Puritans or the Pilgrim settlers in America. Neither Puritans or Pilgrims had use for ceremonies associated with religious festivals invented in either pagan history, or reinvented by Roman Catholicism. In actuality, here in the America’s only after the bloodshed Civil War did Easter “begin again” to be accepted. As Walsh states in his “Holy Time and Sacred Space in Puritan New England” (Walsh, American Quarterly, Vol. 32, No. 1 (Spring, 1980), pp. 79-95) “The New England [Pilgrims] like Reformed Protestants everywhere, rejected traditional Roman Catholic and Anglican beliefs and practices that organized time around consecrated churches, railed-off altars, holy shrines, miraculous wells, and that supposed the flow of time to be an irregular succession of holy days and sacred seasons. The Reformers argued, what was intend3e as a crutch for others had become a cast for Christians who willingly accepted the obligation of constant worship. They for whom all days are holy can have no holidays.” (See, for example, The Sermons of John Calvin Upon the Fifth Book of Moses called Deuteronomie, trans. Arthur Golding (London: H. Middleton, 1583).


Confused? We Have Good News For You:

March 29, 2011

Confused by all the New Age Modern (Per)Versions of the Bible… Tired of all the divisions in the church because your Pastor is actually educated and knows about Textual Criticism (How dare any Divinity school teach such an evil and blasphemous idea!!!)… Never fear have we got Good News for you: Why be in bondage to one Bible translation only like those evil Roman Arminian Papists were with their Latin Vulgate Onlyism when you can believe the complete opposite—King James Authorised 1611 Bible Onlyism for the win—because if it ain’t got the King on the cover it ain’t got the King inside and if it ain’t broke it don’t need fixin’.

Any missionary worth supporting will use ONLY The King James Version (in English) and the Textus Receptus or KJV for translation work !

You have NO business supporting a missionary
who has his car trunk (boot) full of bible versions
to please the whim of the churches he visits.

Such creeps are heretics, and you should send
them packing on down the road. Do not pay their
motel bill, and do not feed them.

They are capitalistic Christians–
making merchandise of the saints.

BEWARE OF SMILEY SAINTS WITH NIVS !!

BEWARE OF HICK GOOD OLD BOY MISSIONARIES
WHO TALK DUMB ABOUT THE TEXTUAL ISSUE.

THEY GOT THAT LINE OF BOLOGNA FROM
TENNESSEE TEMPLE OR BOB JONES U.

Jerks For Jesus (Our Valued Patrons) Judgmentalize Japan

March 16, 2011

 

Did Japan deserve the tsunami, specifically, and the painful afterplay?  No way, no how.  Japan deserves far worse.  Japan is a pagan, idolatrous, perverted nation full of pagan, idolatrous, perverted people.  Perverted, pagan idolatry is sin, and sin must be punished.  God will not be patient with sin and sinners forever.  Comparably-minor judgments like these are mere foreshadowings and tastes of the judgment to come.  I believe that the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor was a sin as well, in and of itself, and as such deserves punishment and judgment.  Even if the attack were justified, it is impossible to argue that it was carried out with 100% pure motives and in 100% pure ways. —Rhoblogy

We are so proud of our faithful student Rhoblogy—why he is almost the judgmentalist that we are and we are twice the judgementalists than Ken Silva yet not quite the judgmentalists that Sharin’ Whiplash is. Rhoblogy is so astute in his judgmentalism that he sets standards that would even confound our great and affectionate Uncle the great and all-powerful Pastor-Teacher to the Internet congregation of the True Remnant himself.

We agree with Rhoblogy for as Todd Friel’s pal has said echoing John MacArthur’s Pure Truth War Doctrines©®™:

A simple reading of the Bible shows how God uses natural disasters to further his purposes. Earthquakes, floods, famine, locusts, etc. they’re all there, but man hates it. Rather than humbly acknowledging that God’s ways are not our ways, man rails against and accuses God. The last thing they will do is cry out for his mercy in Jesus Christ.

We also like Rhoblogy are no friends of sinners or the Japanese for as Al Mohler says: “God hates sin/sinners, and will punish both individual sinners and nations.”—therefore we also hate sickos, perverts, reprobate nations, sinners and people in general unless they are just like us or believe exactly like us in the same way that we do (except on rare occaisions when we must discernmentalize ourselves and other Discernmentalists).

Think Just Like Us Or Else:

January 31, 2011

Extra Concerned Nazarenes Under Attack

July 25, 2010

Eric Barger notes that Extra Concerned Nazarenes has recently come under attack when Rob Bell unleashed his evil Emergent unbiblical and false Jesus upon their headquarters. Artist sketch of what this Jesus supposedly looked like has been rendered below:

We most mightly thank Eric Barger and his mighty Truth Warrior and Discernmentalist ministry for taking a stand against this abomination. We also thank Todd Friel and Glenn Beck for doing the same:

Discernmentalist Inclusiveness!

July 16, 2010

Our list of enemies keeps growing and growing:

Stone Not Spank A Kid 4 Jesus!

July 7, 2010

God’s infallible and inerrant Word the Bible commands us to beat our children all for His Absolute Sovereign Glory so you better beat your children or else. Who cares about the laws of the government against child abuse—they’re all man-centered and man-exalting false and heretical socialist doctrines, anyway! God says to spank, torture and abuse kids to obey the Absolute Biblical Truth Ways of the Master. Time outs and non-harmful/non-abusive  forms of punishment are unbiblical so they’ll never work. Sharin’ Whiplash and Todd Friel teach these doctrines of spanking:

However we here at God’s Only Inerrant Party and of the Online Discernmentalist Mafia believe that spanking is a too spineless and liberal form of punishment. Spanking may be a Biblical Doctrine but it’s not a Pure Biblical Doctrine like the time-tested tried and true Biblical method of stoning like God tells us to do by an Absolute Decree in His Holy Inerrant and Infallible Word in Deuteronomy 21:18-21 (King James Version):

18 If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them:

19 Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place;

20 And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard.

21 And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear.

 As you can see Our Way of dealing with disobedient children has the Spine that Todd Friel and Sharin’ Whiplash’s way lacks as Our Way is more Pure and Absolute Truth Biblical being that Our Way is Truly God’s Way of dealing with disobedient children .