Archive for the ‘Free Will’ Category

The Pure Gospel

September 17, 2011

Anyone who doesn’t believe this is a heretical Semi-Pelagian Godless Reprobated Pagan. We know with Absolute Certainty that world doesn’t mean world but means Elect only which is why the Biblical author of John used the Greek word κόσμος (literal meaning: universe) instead of the Greek word for Elect ἐκλεκτός. Of course to the Truly Saved, this makes Absolutely perfect sense being that we are of the True Regenerated Converts which is why this Hard and Mature Teaching will go over the heads of heretical False Converts.

This is why Arminianist Whack-jobs, Barthians, Eastern Orthodox Romanists, Emergents, Lutherans, Papists, Pentacostal toungue-Babel-ers, Purpose-Seeker-Driven Contemplatives, rebaptizers and any other group who hates our Pure Doctrines are ignorant of the True Gospel. Armianian merit-mongering Free Willists are especially ignorant because of their man-centered idolatry in believing that world means world. What’s next— are ignorant Arminian pseudo-Math scholars going to tell us True Bible Believers that 2+2=4.  “2+2” always=4, right? Laughable and blasphemous heresy as we of God’s Truly Regenerated Elect know that 2+2 really=10.

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The Poison Of Anti-Calvinism

August 29, 2011

Anyone who dares to offer any sort of critique of any of the 5 points of Dortian Calvinism is a bigot and a lost deluded ignorant individual. Not only that but to offer up any kind of logical and sound Biblical critique of any of the Doctrines of Dort is to go against God and His Grace. Arminian Semi-Pelagians, Romanists, Papists, Barthians, Emergents and any other Anti-Calvinists belong to the Synagogues of Satan and are part of the Whore of Babylon that is out to destroy the Pure Gospel and God’s Absolute Truth. Anti-Calvinism is a poisonous hate-filled cancer spreading like gangrene by Spiritual Terrorists within and outside of the church.

Also anyone who dares to attack any aspect of Calvinism is unReformed, lacks any True understanding of the Bible and slanders the Reformation. This is why Arminian heretics are not only Semi-Pelagians but also closet Mary-Worshipping Papists. Arminianism and Anti-Calvinism are the roads straight back to the Bondage of Rome because Calvinism not Jesus Christ is the Pure Gospel.

The reason that I bring this up is because of my exposure to the inane nature of so much of the popular anti-Calvinism found in the writings of ignorant heretics like Geisler, Hunt, Vance, and Bryson (repeated without the slightest bit of concern by Coate) and that is the contrast between the biblically-based presentations of Reformed writers and our concern for accuracy in even representing those who disagree with us (and who attack us personally) and the methodology of “anything goes as long as it is opposed to Calvinism” of the other side.

Anti-Calvinists are the most ignorant, arrogant, hateful and disgusting people in the world. All Anti-Calvinists should be locked up for their criminal behavior. I thank God and His Absolute Sovereign Wrath that all Anti-Calvinists were predestined to be tortured for all eternity unless they are able to repent—so  Anti-Calvinists of the world—REPENT—and remember when we tell you that God hates all of youwe are only speaking the TRUTH in Love.

“Calvinism Unnatural”: Gay Christians Say

July 3, 2010

Fellow Discernmentalists…Beware… We are Under Attack again. The Gay Christian League of Anti-Christs for the Destruction of Biblical Morality have issued this controversial statement:

We have to continue to witness against the evil of Calvinism and pray that the Lord will open the blind eyes of those deceived by this unnatural behavior. We’re not remotely concerned about being politically correct about this issue. We know that Calvinists have chosen to continue believing in their fatalistic and self-destructive philosophy. We only pray that God will deliver them and change them to accepting their God-ordained Freedom in Christ. Yes Calvinism is unnatural…for who in their right mind would willing comply with subjecting themselves to being a mere automaton slave of the unpredictable whims of a fickle God of Wrath? No we are not robot zombie puppets…after all for Freedom’s sake Christ came to set us Free.   

Oh the horror of such rank heresy and bigoted terms! How dare anyone attack our Pure Biblical Truth Gospel like that. How dare anyone suggest that such a thing as Libertarian Free Will exists…why that goes against every moral fiber of our sound Biblical eisegesis exegesis. How can grace be grace if it is a free gift that just anyone can freely choose to accept and how can grace be a free gift if it wasn’t freely given to those whom God fatalistically pre-chose to give it to? We are appalled that anyone would dare think  differently than us. I mean it’s not like those stone dead in their sins can hear God’s voice anyway. No that would be too synergistic and we know that God never ever cooperates with man in anything. Remember these tried and true Pure words from our Gospels:  “Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated”—which we know has everything to do with salvation in Christ.

Getting back to The Gay Christian League of Anti-Christs for the Destruction of Biblical Morality, their attacks have even taken a far sinister turn when they suggested that John Calvin was actually a queerosexual. We can’t stand for this bigoted libel and slander of  ‘a great and holy man of God so greatly used by our Absolutely Sovereign Lord of Vengeful Jealous Wrath without whom we would all still be struggling in the dark ignorance of Roman Arminianism that man-exalting heresy.’ Some members of  The Gay Christian League of Anti-Christs for the Destruction of Biblical Morality have stated that Calvinists were born the way they are and choose to remain Calvinist and glorify their mentally unbalanced disease:

However the large majority of  The Gay Christian League of Anti-Christs for the Destruction of Biblical Morality believe that Calvinism is a choice and that Calvinists should repent of their abnormal, unnatural and unbiblical behavior.  The Gay Christian League of Anti-Christs for the Destruction of Biblical Morality have even set up centers for deprogramming Calvinists.  We have reason to suspect that the leaders who caused all these recent attacks are none other than Greg McCaw a self-avowed gay queer fag Emergent Christian (an oxymoron if there ever was one)—in conjunction with a heretic named Tom and another fag named Alvin McEwen. Fellow Discernmentalists we must not stand for these bigoted lies against our Pure Biblical Gospel Truth Doctrines—the Once For All Biblically Correct Pure Gospel Truth Doctrines delivered to the Saints like John Owen and Augustus Toplady lest the Church fall into the hands of the Emerging Homosexualist agenda of Emergent apostates.

P. S. We are not bigots for taking a stand against all you Arminian, Emergent and queer reprobates…we are just speaking the Truth in love and grace of course!

Trish Of Way Of The Master Fame Supports The Heretical Sinner’s Prayer

June 16, 2010

        

Day by day it seems  that more and more of our Mighty Truth Warriors are falling by the way into the slippery slope of apostasy and heresy. We are appalled by such spinelessness in these Last Days when God’s very own fragile Truth is under attack daily by Spiritual Terrorists who are out to corrupt it. We must all do our part and take a stand for Absolute Biblical Truth and Absolute Biblical Certainty against these apostates so that God’s fragile Sovereign Truth might be protected from those out to destroy it.

This is why we were so disappointed when it was recently brought to our attention that Trish (of  Way Of The Master and Fish With Trish fame) and her husband’s church are so supportive of the heretical Sinner’s Prayer formula. We are so shocked that Trish’s husband’s church would stand for such man-exalting heresy especially after Way Of The Master took such a hard and self-righteous stand against Sinner’s Prayers and those churches that ask those who want to follow Jesus to recite some form of a Sinner’s Prayer. As Todd Friel has said:

The Sinner’s Prayer

As a rule, I do not lead them in prayer. It is not Biblical. If someone you know committed adultery against his wife, would you lead him back to his wife and say, “Repeat after me, I am really sorry and I shouldn’t have slept with that woman?” You would not do it in that case and you shouldn’t do it with a sinner. However, if they say they want to pray now, you can say, “Go ahead and pray and then I will pray for you.” Otherwise, send them on their way and ask them to let you know if they have made their decision. If they do, God saved them. If they don’t, you will be glad you didn’t manipulate them into prayer.

Our Research Robot Monkeys found this tract on Trish’s husband’s church Sovereign Wrath Community Church Sovereign Joy Community Church’s homepage and brought the man-centered and man-exalting semi-Pelagian errors to our attention—behold Sovereign Wrath Community Church’s Sovereign Joy Community Church’s own form of a Sinner’s Prayer:

We know what you have done Trish so there’s no need to try to hide and deny it. You’ve been caught and we’ve now exposed you for the hypocrite that you are your heretical sins before the world. Here we have zoomed in on your man-exalting heresy for Absolute Clarity’s sake:

What would John MacArthur say?* We have to wonder how many False Converts your husband’s church has produced Trish? Notice how the formula in the tract above is the same formula as your typical Sinner’s Prayer which follows as such: confess that you are a sinner, ask for forgiveness from your sins and finally ask Jesus to save you so that you can spend eternity in Heaven with Him and thank Him for the gift of salvation or some other form of this formula. Given all the evidence presented in front of you—we have one last question to ask of you Trish: “Are you a good person?” 

In order to finally get right with God we ask that you please read our excellent and quality well-researched unscholarly Discernmentalist essays: Discernmentalist Altar Calls: How To Make Sure Of Your Election and Ten reasons to UNASK Jesus from your heart.

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* John MacArthur’s Sinner’s Prayer:

How many times have we come upon writings by Reformed men, whether online or in books, denigrating the use of the sinner’s prayer? I came upon this sermon by John MacArthur of Grace Community Church and it closes with what appears to be a sinner’s prayer: “While your heads are bowed for just a moment, if you do not know Christ but you desire to receive the salvation that He offers, the forgiveness of sin and eternal life, will you in the quietness of your own heart say…Lord God, I believe in Jesus Christ, I believe that He God in flesh died on the cross to pay the penalty for my sin, rose again, provided perfect satisfaction and I receive the gift of salvation in His name, turning from my sin I commit myself to follow Him. Pray that prayer and may true salvation be yours this day. Amen. (“Looking At The Cross from God’s Perspective,” a sermon on Romans 3.24-31)”

Hunting Season For Liberals Officially Begins!

May 14, 2010

    

(Gloom And Despair News: a subsidiary of GOIP Media Dominion Corporation as distributed by Outhouse Fails Publishing, Inc.) —-  Discernmentalists head to hunting ranges all across America now that Liberal Hunting Season has begun. Steve Camp of Camp On This Gloom and Disparaging Ministries has promised to reward the first True Bible-Believing  Fundamentalist Conservative/Republican Calvinist Christian to bag over a hundred liberals with a prize of an authentic tissue paper used by none other than our very own Ken Silva. The tissue paper is bound to become a  True Discernmentalist collector’s item. Camp has indeed verified that the tissue has really been used by Ken Silva for it is so full of ego and Absolute Truth. The tissue also comes complete with a certificate of authenticity.

Camp is on record as saying there are no limits on who may be considered a liberal. Any and all groups other than Confessional Dortian Calvinists are to be considered too liberal to be Truly Biblical and most importantly even Truly Christian. Most or all groups that are considered too liberal to Truly be Christian are dark evil reprobated heathen unregenerate hell-bound apostates as Camp goes on to further state :

To paraphrase former President Ronald Reagan’s words when speaking of communism:

“Open Theism, Universalism, Mormonism, Romanism, the Emergent Church, Jehovah Witnesses, Pragmaticism, Syncretism, Word of Faith, New Perspective of Paul, Libertarian Free Will, Socinianism, the Social Gospel, and Sabellianism is foreign to heaven, where they’ve never had part in it; and is welcome in hell, where they’ve already got it.” (Source).

In related news, Brannon Howse and Todd Friel have teamed up and have pledged their support for an upcoming Anti-Glenn Beck /Anti-Social Gospel Rally. At the moment, all the details are still in the open. We’ll let you know when and if any futher details come to light or as soon as any  future developments are made available.

Roger Williams Attacks Discernmentalists From The Grave

March 14, 2010

 

Our Research Robot Monkeys have been reading Deformed Reader lately—which led them to come up with the conclusion that  Roger Williams was an apostate. Deformed Reader states of Williams’ Anti-Discernmentalist character

The arrival and expansion of (Ana)Baptists in North America

The famous American-Swiss church historian Rev. Prof. Dr. Philip Schaff has informed us427 that “in America the Baptists trace their origin chiefly…to Roger Williams…. He was charged with advocating certain opinions supposed to be dangerous.”

These included the viewpoints: “that the magistrate ought not to punish offences against the First Table [of God’s Law]; that an oath ought not to be tendered to an unregenerate man; [and] that a regenerate man ought not to pray with the unregenerate, though it be his wife or child….

“He [Roger Williams] was immersed by Ezekiel Hollyman [during 1639] — and, in turn, immersed Hollyman and ten others. This was the first Baptist church on the American Continent. But a few months afterwards, he renounced his rebaptism — on the ground that Hollyman was unbaptized [meaning unsubmersed], and therefore unauthorized to administer the rite to him.”

Clearly, it never dawned on Roger Williams that nobody had baptized John the baptizer. Yet it was John (and apparently by pouring or sprinkling) who baptized Jesus Christ. And it is the Latter’s baptism alone which gives validity to all Christian baptisms.

Incredibly, the apostate Roger Williams pleaded428 even for the complete toleration of Islam, Judaism and Paganism. He read Dutch well; knew of the political concepts of the Dutch Anabaptists; and accordingly rejected the British and American Puritans and their Christonomic Theocracy.429 Unfortunately, the Dutch (Ana)Baptistic heresies of Roger Williams have now massively corrupted especially the United States.

Dr. Arthur McJohn and I want you to know just how hideously apostate Roger Williams was—just listen to these Anti-Discernmentalist quotes:

It is the will and command of God that…a permission of the most Paganish, Jewish, Turkish or anti-christian consciences and worships be granted to all men in all nations and countries.”

Enforced uniformity confounds civil and religious liberty and denies the principles of Christianity and civility. No man shall be required to worship or maintain a worship against his will.”

That cannot be a true religion which needs carnal weapons to uphold it.”God requireth not a uniformity of religion.”

God requireth not a uniformity of religion to be enacted in any civil state; which enforced uniformity (sooner or later) is the greatest occasion of civil war, ravishing of conscience, persecution of Christ Jesus in his servants, and of the hypocrisy and destruction of millions of souls.”

How dare he speak of Religious Liberty for anyone but those who bow down to our Pure Doctrines! Clearly Roger Williams is attacking us from the grave as his ideas are attacking our vision for a Theocratic AmericaClearly “liberty of conscience” and “tolerance” are liberal code words for “get along and love one another.”  Our Final Prophet teaches this fact that only we Discernmentalists  deserve True Religious Liberty:

“A new heresy has been discovered,” he said. “We must stamp out this burst of hell-fire before it spreads over the surface of the earth…. Freedom of conscience is a doctrine of the devil…. Better to have a tyrant, however cruel, than permit everyone to do what he pleases.”

If that alone isn’t evidence enough that Roger Williams was clearly a heretical apostate then consider this: an apple tree root in the shape of  a Serpent ate his corpse. Coincidence—we think not!

  

All Theological Roads Lead Back To Rome?

February 21, 2010

Sharin’ Whiplash aka Non-Electgal in an UnReformed and Deformed moment stated:

Anabaptists, Reformed/Presbyterians, Lutherans, and Anglicans are 4 separate branches with separate traditions. All four branches are Reformed from Roman Catholicism in the broad sense of the term.

Clearly she might be one of the unregenerate reprobates decieved into believing that she is Truly Elect or Secured in her Reprobation for as we know Calvinism has  nothing to do with “Roman Arminianism or Roman Catholicism that man-exalting heresy!” And we don’t exalt man especially not Calvin—We Know! Why—because We told ya so! Or maybe Sharin’ has contracted the same Postmodern and Emergence virus that Ken Silva has contracted?

Ken Silva Contracts A Rare Emergent Virus

February 21, 2010

Yesterday Ken Silva contracted the rare hideous and disfiguring Emergent virus: Calvini sincerus doxolatroum vitare. This caused him to attack God’s Absolute Sovereignty and utter such an unReformed statement as this:

WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR UNLEASHING THE EMERGING CHURCH VIRUS EMBED CODE?

We Know who is responsible and the Pure Reformed answer is:

God from all eternity, did, by the most wise and holy counsel of His own will, freely, and unchangeably ordain whatsoever comes to pass yet so, as thereby neither is God the author of sin, nor is violence offered to the will of the creatures; nor is the liberty or contingency of second causes taken away, but rather established.
Westminster Larger Catechism Q3

That means that God is responsible and the One who caused from the Foundation of the World the UNLEASHING of  THE EMERGING CHURCH VIRUS which Ken Silva contracted. We all are now praying for Ken Silva to be healed and get well from such a dark and reprobated illness so that he can return to his ole Deformed Purely Reformed, Emergent-bashing and Discernmentalist self.

Shocked: Spurgeon Had A False Conversion—We Know So!

February 20, 2010

Recently our Research Robot Monkeys have come upon new and startling information concerning Charles Spurgeon (Holy Warrior). We have found that Spurgeon had a False Conversion—we are truly disappointed in this finding. Here follows an account of  Spurgeon’s False Conversion:

Spurgeon’s conversion to Christianity came on January 6, 1850, at age fifteen. On his way to a scheduled appointment, a snow storm forced him to cut short his intended journey and to turn into a Primitive Methodist chapel in Colchester where “God opened his heart to the salvation message.” The text that moved him was Isaiah 45:22 – “Look unto me, and be ye saved, all the ends of the earth, for I am God, and there is none else.”

Methodists teach Grace-hating Man-loving Arminianism, Decisional Regeneration and Free-Willism which are all errors. See  there this is proof of his False Conversion—We Know so! Charles Spurgeon (Holy Warrior) even admits by his own Free-Will he made a Decision for Christ rather than being Regenerated by the preaching of the Pure Gospel of God’s Sovereign Wrath:

I do from my soul confess that I never was satisfied till I came to Christ; when was yet a child, I had far more wretchedness than ever I have now; I will even add, more weariness, more care, more heart-ache than I know at this day. I may be singular in this confession, but I make it, and know it to be the truth. Since that dear hour when my soul cast itself on Jesus, I have found solid joy and peace; but before that, all those supposed gaieties of early youth, all the imagined ease and joy of boyhood, were but vanity and vexation of spirit to me. . That happy day, when I found the Saviour, and learned to cling to His dear feet, was a day never to be forgotten by me. An obscure child, unknown, unheard of, I listened to the Word of God; and that precious text led me to the cross of Christ. I can testify that the joy of that day was utterly indescribable. I could have leaped, I could have danced; there was no expression, however fanatical, which would have been out of keeping with the joy of my spirit at that hour. Many days of Christian experience have passed since then, but there has never been one which has had the full exhilaration, the sparkling delight which that first day had. I thought I could have sprung from the seat on which I sat, and have called out with the wildest of those Methodist brethren who were present, “I am forgiven! I am forgiven! A monument of grace! A sinner saved by blood! “My spirit saw its chains broken to pieces, I felt that I was an emancipated soul, an heir of Heaven, a forgiven one, accepted in Christ Jesus, plucked out of the miry clay and out of the horrible pit, with my feet set upon a rock, and my goings established. I thought I could dance all the way home. I could understand what John Bunyan meant, when he declared he wanted to tell the crows on the ploughed land all about his conversion. He was too full to hold, he felt he must tell somebody.

Sheer blasphemy—we are mortified beyond words! We are now praying that Todd Friel (Wretched), Ray Comforts (Awesome) and Kirk Cameron (Awesome Actor) drop all their associational ties with the works of this False Convert.

P. S. Also we are not too pleased with Spurgeon’s teachings against the Pure Reformed Doctrines and clear teachings of Calvin on Infant Baptism and also likewise with John Piper (Soft On Heretics)’s teaching against the Pure Baptism Doctrines of Calvin as well.

And remember these words of Absolute Truth from Sharin’ Whiplash:

Certainly Credobaptism is evil since it promotes confusion this is why I Thank You, Lord, for Your servant, Jean Cauvin, without whom we would be still struggling in the darkness of Credobaptism, that man-exalting heresy! Besides Immersion sounds too much like the heresy of Emergent/Emerging or Emergence Christianity.

GOIP Scientists Invent Pocket-Sized Gaydar

January 22, 2010

Gay churches detected on Gaydar screen.

Recently after all the frequent gaydiation eruptions that Discernmentalists have detected—top GOIP Scientists have taken our Gaydar technology and have shrunk it down to a pocket  sized version. Using this GAYDAR Equation: 

The amount of muscular power Pr returning to the erect antenna is given by the Gaydar equation:

math

where*’

  • Pt = trouser power
  • Gt = “Telling by the way I walk” quotient.
  • Ar = fabulosity
  • σ = hairstyle cross section, or scattering highlights, of the target
  • F = shirt pattern propagation factor
  • Rt = distance from the transmitter to the moustache
  • Rr = distance from the moustache to the tip of the nose.

In the common case where the transmitter and the receiver are at the same location, Rt = Rr and the term Rt2 Rr2 can be replaced by LetsGetToIt”‘4, where LetsGetToIt is the result. This yields:

math

This shows that the received power declines as the fourth power of the range, which means that the reflected power from distant targets is very, very small. (This is the basis of that old chestnut, old gay men never die, they just fade away as the fourth power. – a joke which many mathematicians guffaw over to this day)

We figured out how to transform the raw power of Gaydar into a more compact sized version—so here it is—introducing the GAYGER METER new from GOIP Tech:

Now with two functionality purposes: detecting churches that support gay marriages and gay parents and outing gays in the midst of your church so that you can kick them out.

Gaydar showing an individual’s gayness level and how much of a threat it is to our Pure Churches and Pure Marriage Doctrines.