Posts Tagged ‘mothballs 4 protection’

Ray Comfort (Awesome) invents Mothball Mobile

June 3, 2019

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DISCERNMENTALIST WOO NEWS—  Kearny is one of those towns with a main street called Kearny Avenue. Most Friday and Saturday nights Ray Comfort (Awesome) would walk Kearny Avenue passing out “Are you a good person?” tracts to groups of young people and feminists. Most of them would laugh at him. Some ridiculed him. A few even assaulted him. But Ray was undeterred. He wanted to be able to connect with some of these kids and preach the law of our Angry God’s wrath to them. Then it dawned on him since feminists (under Mothra’s influence) fear mothballs—why not invent a Mothball Mobile (using recently discovered Mothball technology)—then he could safely pick kids up on Sunday morning—(protected from Mothra and feminist doctrines) in his Mothball Mobile and bring them to church. If the kids are poor Ray would then have the opportunity to preach the Gospel of Capitalism to them so they could be saved through the “invisible hand” of Free-Market economics. Online Discernmentalist ministries are now seeing the benefits of this application of our newly discovered Mothball technology with Ray’s invention we can now more often load up our cars with kids and take them to see Discernmentalist approved movies and bring them to Discernmentalist crusades. Even with all his eccentricity—Ray lives the commands of Christ through merciful grace as well as any redeemed Elect can by preaching the Law and Wrath of God’s anger instead of mercy and grace to sinners. (Source)

Mrs. Jobson is extra excited to hear the good news that our good friend Ray Comfort is inventing this Mothball mobile as she hasn’t been allowed to leave our bunker in months without wearing her mothball necklace for protection—ever-since these Mothra feminist attacks have begun upon the Holy Remnant within our apostate Southern Baptist Convention. We fear that ever-since these feminist priestesses started invading our SBC—that they will return our beloved Convention to the Dark Ages of liberals and the unholy horrors of Progress by divine fiat. We’d like to thank Ray once again for inventing this as the extra protection of mothballs will keep us well-fortified on the go—and safe from being accosted by Mothra or any other strange feminists—while we’re out and about. Now Mrs. Jobson and our Quiverfull of kids will safely be able to see God Is Not Dead: The Finally Final Reckoning when it finally comes out!

 

Don Jobson and Mrs. Jobson through being forced to agree with me approves

 

A New PSA Message from Our Conspiracy-Driven Church!:

May 22, 2019

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FEAR… ANGER… HATRED… AGRESSION… SUFFERING….

Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”—John Howard Yoder

“Together, these elements helped create a society in which many Americans see millions of snares, laid by a menacing group of enemies, all the more alarming for how difficult they are to identify and pin down.

Let’s pause to attempt to define a conspiracy theory. It is a belief that a small group of people are working in secret against the common good, to create harm, to effect some negative change in society, to seize power for themselves, or to hide some deadly or consequential secret. An actual conspiracy is when a small group of people are working in secret against the common good – and anyone who tells you we can always easily distinguish fictitious plots from real ones probably hasn’t read much history.

Conspiracy theories tend to flourish especially at times of rapid social change, when we are re-evaluating ourselves and, perhaps, facing uncomfortable questions in the process. In 1980, the civil liberties lawyer and author Frank Donner wrote that conspiracism reveals a fundamental insecurity about who Americans want to be versus who they are.” (Source)

We Discernmentalists are Conspiracy Theory-addicts—the more unbelievable the conspiracy the better to defend our Truth with. If your church teaches social justice—say George Soros is funding this teaching even-though it is in the Bible and Church History. Social Justice sounds too much like Socialism. If your Preacher preaches that God is love and loves the world—accuse him of preaching Universalist heresy among other heresies. Thankfully we Discernmentalists can find a conspiracy to suit our every need. We love our tin-foil hats and we love to keep them on extra tight.

And remember Conspiracy theories are I. Todyaso backed…Truthslayer and Don Jobson approved

 

Breaking: Grand Moff Tarkin joins Mothra’s feminist assaults on our Truth

May 19, 2019

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Grand Mothra Tarkin spreading the evil horrors of equality of the sexes and female pastors

Quote Freakishly Tall News: “This is what feminists embrace. It is a horrible demonstration of the gullibility of women and the reason why women should never be ordained. It always bugged me that it appears that Vader (divine male leader) was a Subordinate of Grand Moth Tarkin (feminists) when Vader was on the Death Star. I always thought that being the number two man of the Sith would make him the number two man in the Empire? GK edit: I always wondered why John Williams didn’t write a theme for the Grand Moth. Would have been sweet like the Moth Theme from FOTR.”

Thankfully though Todd “Freakishly Tall” agrees with us that our Brand of fear-mongering and scare tactics are the only way to stop Mothra’s hordes from taking over our churches.

Our Favorite Brand!

May 18, 2019

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Many of our tortured faithful readers have been asking us lately which brand of mothballs we use to repel the feminists and Mothra’s assaults on our Absolute Truth. We prefer (and Mrs. Jobson has no choice in this): Enoz Mothra Balls. The smellier the better. We’ve found that they also provide extra protection against atheist Bibliophiles harming our children with strange books. Mrs. Jobson has become even more Biblically submissive to my divine authority since wearing a necklace of them around her neck. Thank our Angry God!

Even our Pope of the Truth War (PBUH) doesn’t teach this essential and important teaching for countering the Mothra-feminist Agenda secretly corrupting our churches—so we’re one step ahead of our Dear Leader.

“All this is not limited to liberal churches and denominations, however. Aburdene and Naisbitt note that the organization Christians for Biblical Equality believes, “Women as well as men exercise the prophetic, priestly, and royal functions” of the church. [4](ibid, p. 128, quoted from “Women Served as Priests,” Grand Rapids Press, November 9, 1991) Evangelical churches are just as susceptible to the feminist onslaught. The fact is, feminism has already gained a foothold within the evangelical community in recent years.”

See no mention of mothballs helping to prevent these assaults. Elsewhere our Pope (PBUH) stated: “If all theologians were to follow that principle of interpretation, Satan wouldn’t need to attack the truthfulness of Scripture; he would only have to cause enough confusion over the “hard passages” for scholars to ignore them.”

I’ve made sure to rub our mothballs over any of these “hard passages” that might be misconstrued of even secretly teaching one hint of Mothra-feminist doctrines against our Truth. Hard passages such as:

Joel 2:28-29 New International Reader’s Version (NIRV)-The Day of the Lord Is Coming: 28 “After that, I will pour out my Spirit on all people.
Your sons and daughters will prophesy.
Your old men will have dreams.
Your young men will have visions.
29 In those days I will pour out my Spirit
on those who serve me, men and women alike.

Unfortunately Mothra doctrines are hard to spot without the aid of our Secret Cloaking Reversal Technology as Mothra herself as well as her feminist priestesses are said to have psychic abilities. Quote:

Mothra symbolizes girl power, in a variety of forms—from the sonorous and elegant magic of her miniature twin princess allies, to the overt strength, courage, and perseverance of the great moth herself. Mothra also has characteristics of a mother goddess diety, with her transformations—from egg to caterpillar to moth (who sometimes produces a new egg and continues the cycle.) While most of the Kaiju are lone wolves, Mothra keeps up a social network by way of her telepathic connection

Thankfully you have important ministries of dis-imformation like ours in this Truth War to teach you the correct way through mothballs to stop the Mothra-feminist assault on our Doctrines or else the feminists will win and ordain more feminist Mothra-priestesses to serve the Lord and prophesy aka preach the Gospel/Pastor a church. And in the words of John W. Robbins who explains the tragedy of such an approach:

The demand for the ordination of women, as rebellious as it is in itself, is a symptom of a much more serious malady. The ordination of women might disfigure the church, but the disease of which it is a symptom will kill her unless it is quickly diagnosed and treated. That disease . . . is the rejection of Biblical inerrancy.

So remember Mrs. Jobson (through Mr. Jobson’s authority) approved Enoz Mothra Balls—the only way to stop the Mothra-feminist assault on our Truth and Bibliophiles corrupting kids. Even my co-Truth Warrior Truthslayer agrees as his wife now too is wearing a mothball necklace.

 

Ray Comfort (Awesome) warns Bibliophiles the same as Pedophiles

May 18, 2019

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Evidence of Bibliophilia: Here a Book assaults an un-expectant innocent young lady.

Ray Comfort (Awesome) another defender of our Mighty Truth especially against the atheist hordes—deposited nuggets of Comfort (Awesome) while working with us on our sin-free Arthur episode. Ray (Awesome) Hell’s Best Kept Secret told us that Bibliophiles are the same as pedophiles: “Bibliophile noun a cross between a paedophile and the Bible.” Ray Comfort (Awesome) also gave us this advice on what to look out for in banning sinners from commenting on our Blogs: “If you call any other Christian on this page a ‘bibliophile’ I will ban you.” Ray (Awesome) also went on to state that: “I thought it was just another atheist insult, a cross between pedophile and Bible. My sincere apologies. Still learning. Best wishes.”

Ray (Awesome) we believed you have slipped in apologizing to that atheist as Discernmentalists we should never apologize for speaking our the Truth. If anything that atheist should apologize to you for insulting your intelligence—we know bibliophiles are the same as pedophiles. We have shocking evidence that bibliophiles are assaulting children with books—{click link: [HERE] (Warning Graphic Imagery)}. We believe this lapse in self-righteousness is due to the Eastern Mysticism we caught him practicing when he recited Bible verses in a Triadic liturgical mantra against our Clear Teachings against such.

On a related note—Mrs. Jobson has gotten use to the smell of her mothball necklace that protects her from the feminist attacks of Mothra priestesses. She gave a few to our children and really recommends mothballs for protection against bibliophiles as they’ve stopped the attacks from atheist bibliophiles like Disney molesting our kids with strange books.

SBC under siege by Mothra Priestesses!

May 18, 2019

 

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Actual photo of this assault by Mothra and her Priests/Priestesses!

Not a day goes by when our Truth is not under attack—this time we’re under siege by Mothra. [H/T]: The moth-eaten SBC and the women who did it. “But I am like a moth to Ephraim, and like dry rot to the house of Judah.” (Hosea 5:12).

Oh the unholy horror of this affront on our Truth—I only pray that Mrs.  Jobson doesn’t catch wind of these secret feminist doctrines or she might rebel against my divinely mandated authority again. I’ve forced Mrs. Jobson to wear a necklace made out of mothballs just in case—sure it smells funny but I told her: “listen woman this is for your own good and it helps protect the purity of our Truth.” Anyways here’s how to spot these secret feminist Mothra priestesses:

They are feminists—don’t let them tell you otherwise. Also we hear they’re not too fond of the smell of mothballs but are attracted to altar flowers. (See this link for proof).

This is the new crop of what I called Christian secret feminists- but they aren’t as secret as they were in 2012. They live a feminist life inside of Christianity but call it ministry. They are openly rebelling now.

One woman who has much to answer for about this new role is Beth Moore. She was the one who broke new ground in the Southern Baptist Convention, a most conservative denomination, in how far a woman could go in attaining celebrity status, living for her career and not for her home, and promoting gender role reversals.

She showed us how to be the main and sustained breadwinner of the family. She showed us that she could preach in a church and teach anyone in the world, uncensured. Mrs Moore, while speaking conservative values cloaked in all the right Christianese, has lived a very feminist life. (We suspect this is because of their super secret psychic cloaking powers).

We only know this because of using our Secret Cloaking Reversal Technology or SKIRT—also they are most likely to predict an oncoming Mothra attack as per our findings. We also have reason to suspect these feminist Mothra priestesses of secret Catholic leanings:

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Absolute Proof. We discovered this too while using our Bible-based SKIRT (Secret Cloaking Reversal Technology).

So be warned and beware—thankfully you have lone Discernmentalists in the wilderness like us to warn you of all these threats on our Truth. At this very moment we’re working on Mothra-sized mothballs—to surround our Holy Convention and churches—and prevent these feminist Mothra priestesses unleashing even more Mothra attacks on our churches and Truth.