Archive for the ‘b/w Truth worldview’ Category

Mrs. Jobson speaks on Mothballs

June 24, 2019

I’m proud of my wife’s article against the feminist assaults we’ve been facing and how to combat them that I wrote for her in keeping with our Clear Teachings on wifely submission—I tried to submit it on her behalf to The Council On Biblical Manhood and womanhood for publication in the latest issue of their magazine on Biblical womanhood but they rejected it and laughed in my face. I suspect it is because they saw her name as the author—I know it can’t be because of the references to mothballs in the article because they agree with Our Brand. For those of you who don’t know the main definition of mothballs as defined in Volume Two of The Discernmentalist Dictionary is:

MOTHBALLs or (Modernism’s Old Theologies of Hate Bringing About Legalism on  Ladies): (noun)- the only known protection against Mothra and feminist attacks on Discernmentalist Truth. Also useful in warding off Bibliophiles.

Anyways here is my lovely wife’s beautiful and well-written article:

0_300x300_Back_Color-WhiteMy Life As An Unfeminist Submissive Mothball Wearing Wife

By Mrs. Brandy Hose Jobson

Contrary to what our annoyed tortured faithful readers may think Mrs. Jobson indeed loves wearing  her mothball necklace. In fact just smelling them have calmed Mrs. Jobson’s (her)  fears of Mothra’s feminist Agenda assaulting our Truth. Mrs. Jobson wishes more women would learn the joy of being submissive and the benefits of wearing mothballs for protection. I (Don Jobson) told her (my wife Mrs. Jobson) that any time she’s tempted to even think the unbiblical thought of women being able to pastor a church—just keep calm by focusing on her mothballs. Now you can see the Clear benefits of our Teachings. I was telling Mrs. Jobson the other day that if “tolerance” is the core value of political correctness then feminism is it’s most cherished cause–and the implications of apostate culture’s cultural devotion to feminism are monstrous. Feminism is not about equal rights for women but about the feminization of the American male.

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My wife’s lovely mothball necklace 4 Protection against Mothra and feminists

It has indeed turned even more monstrous ever since these Mothra attacks started occurring on innocent unsuspecting Southern Baptist churches but thankfully our Brand works like a charm. In fact its extra magical almost like the heretical Mormon cult’s secret undergarments—only ours is Truly Biblical. Sadly though it has yet to be seen as working on gay feminists. This content is for Premium members only. Login or sign up to gain access to over $164440 in Worldview Weekend resources. (Whoops looks like Brannon is charging now for us Discernmentalists to crib from his self-righteous site. How dare he!).

Feminist Mothra dogma decrees that women can never be successful. That shows how out of touch the feminists are. Now Mothra as you may not know was never successful especially since:

Mothra is one of the most powerful psychics in the Toho universe. She has had the ability to use this power benevolently, to communicate with humans, or defensively, to destroy her enemies. As suggested earlier, Mothra is assumed to be divine and draws many parallels to the Phoenix, which makes her one of the more powerful kaiju of the Toho universe. Mothra has become one of Godzilla’s more challenging opponents, having achieved the greatest success rate in battle save Godzilla himself…

Anyways just remember mothballs for your protection against the Mothra feminist hordes. Mrs. Jobson agrees with me because I told her to.

My wife still protected by mothballs from Mothra feminists,

Don Jobson

Ray Comfort (Awesome) warns Bibliophiles the same as Pedophiles

May 18, 2019

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Evidence of Bibliophilia: Here a Book assaults an un-expectant innocent young lady.

Ray Comfort (Awesome) another defender of our Mighty Truth especially against the atheist hordes—deposited nuggets of Comfort (Awesome) while working with us on our sin-free Arthur episode. Ray (Awesome) Hell’s Best Kept Secret told us that Bibliophiles are the same as pedophiles: “Bibliophile noun a cross between a paedophile and the Bible.” Ray Comfort (Awesome) also gave us this advice on what to look out for in banning sinners from commenting on our Blogs: “If you call any other Christian on this page a ‘bibliophile’ I will ban you.” Ray (Awesome) also went on to state that: “I thought it was just another atheist insult, a cross between pedophile and Bible. My sincere apologies. Still learning. Best wishes.”

Ray (Awesome) we believed you have slipped in apologizing to that atheist as Discernmentalists we should never apologize for speaking our the Truth. If anything that atheist should apologize to you for insulting your intelligence—we know bibliophiles are the same as pedophiles. We have shocking evidence that bibliophiles are assaulting children with books—{click link: [HERE] (Warning Graphic Imagery)}. We believe this lapse in self-righteousness is due to the Eastern Mysticism we caught him practicing when he recited Bible verses in a Triadic liturgical mantra against our Clear Teachings against such.

On a related note—Mrs. Jobson has gotten use to the smell of her mothball necklace that protects her from the feminist attacks of Mothra priestesses. She gave a few to our children and really recommends mothballs for protection against bibliophiles as they’ve stopped the attacks from atheist bibliophiles like Disney molesting our kids with strange books.

SBC under siege by Mothra Priestesses!

May 18, 2019

 

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Actual photo of this assault by Mothra and her Priests/Priestesses!

Not a day goes by when our Truth is not under attack—this time we’re under siege by Mothra. [H/T]: The moth-eaten SBC and the women who did it. “But I am like a moth to Ephraim, and like dry rot to the house of Judah.” (Hosea 5:12).

Oh the unholy horror of this affront on our Truth—I only pray that Mrs.  Jobson doesn’t catch wind of these secret feminist doctrines or she might rebel against my divinely mandated authority again. I’ve forced Mrs. Jobson to wear a necklace made out of mothballs just in case—sure it smells funny but I told her: “listen woman this is for your own good and it helps protect the purity of our Truth.” Anyways here’s how to spot these secret feminist Mothra priestesses:

They are feminists—don’t let them tell you otherwise. Also we hear they’re not too fond of the smell of mothballs but are attracted to altar flowers. (See this link for proof).

This is the new crop of what I called Christian secret feminists- but they aren’t as secret as they were in 2012. They live a feminist life inside of Christianity but call it ministry. They are openly rebelling now.

One woman who has much to answer for about this new role is Beth Moore. She was the one who broke new ground in the Southern Baptist Convention, a most conservative denomination, in how far a woman could go in attaining celebrity status, living for her career and not for her home, and promoting gender role reversals.

She showed us how to be the main and sustained breadwinner of the family. She showed us that she could preach in a church and teach anyone in the world, uncensured. Mrs Moore, while speaking conservative values cloaked in all the right Christianese, has lived a very feminist life. (We suspect this is because of their super secret psychic cloaking powers).

We only know this because of using our Secret Cloaking Reversal Technology or SKIRT—also they are most likely to predict an oncoming Mothra attack as per our findings. We also have reason to suspect these feminist Mothra priestesses of secret Catholic leanings:

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Absolute Proof. We discovered this too while using our Bible-based SKIRT (Secret Cloaking Reversal Technology).

So be warned and beware—thankfully you have lone Discernmentalists in the wilderness like us to warn you of all these threats on our Truth. At this very moment we’re working on Mothra-sized mothballs—to surround our Holy Convention and churches—and prevent these feminist Mothra priestesses unleashing even more Mothra attacks on our churches and Truth.

Joel Osteen Threatens Bible-readers with unbiblical toothpaste!

May 14, 2019

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We can’t say we are shocked at this horror as we’ve been apprising you of the hideousness of all these seeker-driven Emergents out there living as though God has a plan and purpose for their lives. In Joel Osteen’s latest attack on Bible-readers he unveiled his apostate unbiblical toothpaste and threatened to brush the teeth of anyone who dared open their Bibles. If he would only let them read their Bible then they would know: The Bible contains all the wisdom man needs for solving all the spiritual struggles, problems, and issues of life.

The Online Discernmentalist Mafia is now offering Bible Studies on how to prevent tooth decay to counteract this worldly assault on our Truth.

Bible verses we’ve found so far that help us in fighting and preventing cavities; gingivitis; tooth decay and other dental infirmities:

  • 0 Bible results for “brush your teeth.”
  • 0 Bible results for “toothpaste.”
  • 0 Bible results for “toothbrush.”
  • 0 Bible results for “mouthwash.”
  • 0 Bible results for “toothache.”
  • 0 Bible results for “gingivitis.”

This proves how little of the Bible Joel Osteen has read. In fact we suspect he uses alcohol-based mouthwash against our Clear Teachings.

 

Facebook Is Still Persecuting Us

May 12, 2019

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After some of our unintelligence reports were accidently leaked—after we posted one of our current enemy’s article that catches them almost practicing Jehovah’s Witnesses’ post-mortem beliefs publically by mistake. We have been harassed by drones that we believe are connected to Bulpit & Pen—after a photo was released exposing the super secret highly classified entrance to one of our Truth Bunkers (thankfully an unoccupied one). Dr. Truthslayer was so ashamed by our enemies’ droning attacks that he personally fears for his life and is currently hiding in one of our re-sanctification chambers trying to get cleansed from the filth of such a blatantly harsh attack on us. Why must our many enemies hate us for sharing the truth of our Good News that God hates them? What did we do to deserve all these attacks?

Update #1- Dr. ITodyaso coaxed Dr. Truthslayer out of our re-sanctification chamber.

Update # 2-We now suspect that the attacks were connected to evil Emergents rather than Bulpit & Pen as their language was too filthy and sounded like censored Driscollian cussing rather than Pure Biblical curses.

Special Discernmentalist Alert—Spurgeon Exposed: Reported Evidence recorded that he slid into False Teaching…

May 11, 2019

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 James Grant wrote: “With the deadly heresies entertained and taught by the Plymouth Brethren, in relation to some of the most momentous of all the doctrines of the Gospel, and to which I have adverted at some length, I feel assured that my readers will not be surprised at any other views, however unscriptural and pernicious they may be, which the Darbyites have embraced and zealously seek to propagate”[20]

Breaking we’re being attacked from the grave by one of our own—Spurgeon (False Convert) who we already revealed as a False Convert wrote a critique* of one of our Truth War Pope’s Holiest of Doctrines.

 Charles Haddon Spurgeon, Pastor of the Metropolitan Tabernacle and contemporary of Darby, published criticism of Darby and Brethrenism.[19] His main criticism was that Darby and the Plymouth Brethren rejected the vicarious purpose of Christ’s obedience as well as imputed righteousness. He viewed these of such importance and so central to the Gospel that it led him to publish this statement about the rest of their belief in the Sword and Trowel.

We thought Spurgeon was more of a measure of Truthiness than that but since we exposed him as a False Convert we can’t say we’re surprised that we now have to add False Teacher to his now growing list of impurities in following our Pure Doctrines properly. Here is a quote from Spurgeon (False Convert/False Teacher)’s attack* on the founding father of our Truth War Pope’s Pure Bible Teaching:

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*- Phil Johnson’s Hugh Jass raptured this attacking critique from his Hugh Jass Spurgeon (False Convert/False Teacher) site as he didn’t want others to know that “self-respecting Calvinist” Spurgeon (False Convert/False Teacher) had impure doctrines for not following the Ways of the Master himself— the Clear Teachings of our Pope of the Truth War John MacArthur (PBUH) that: “Every Self-Respecting Calvinist Should Be A Premillennial Dispensationalist Rapture Believer” (in other words follow Darby’s teachings).

Blocked By One Of Our Own

May 9, 2019

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The attacks on us by our former allies the formerly known Propaganda & Party (Pulpit & Pen) now henceforth known as Bulpit & Pen have taken a turn for the worse and have gotten extra ugly. Recently our Mighty notTwitter Truth Warriors were blocked. Yes blocked— Bulpit & Pen blocked us from spying on following them on their Socialist Media account on Twitter—after discovering Dr. Truthslayer’s helpful meme. We are beyond outraged—for one: how dare they go against our Clear Teachings that even we ourselves don’t follow on Social Media leading to Socializing which is sheer worldliness and even worse Socialism. We thought they were much more anti-Social Gospel than that.

Even moreso Bulpit & Pen have turned their missives on our newest ally in protecting the fragile Hard Truth of our Glorious Pope John MacArthur’s Truth War (PBUI):

  1. Do not post memes.

  2. Do not post Babylon Bee articles.

We have even more reason to be concerned that Bulpit & Pen are apostatizing from the worldly means in which all True Truth Warriors fighting the good fight against for Truth wage our Truth War©2007®™ . What would our mutual Pope John MacArthur (PBUH)’s right hand man Phil Johnson aka Hugh Jass think or the Mighty Truth Warrior Frank Turk? We only pray that Bulpit & Pen repent and turn back to the fold of fighting the good Truth War for our mutual Pope John MacArthur’s Absolute Truth©2007®™ .

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Dr. I. Todyaso of ODMafia fame called to fact check Babylon Bee

May 7, 2019

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Daily Bunker ODMs Express— Our very own Dr. I. Todyaso named Head Researcher and Fact Checker for Babylon Bee after they pledged to support us in being #1 in Absolute Truth; Alt-facts; journalism and Fake News in Discernmentalism. Quote: “We look forward to our new partnership in helping us spread our Truth War Pope’s Absolute Truth (PBUI) to more people and helping us fight the good fight in lying; slandering as well as falsely accusing others of heresy by spreading misinformation and made up quotes about them. Before the Babylon Bee there was only us and our mentor the late Ken Silva—we were lone voices in the wilderness calling out all those sliding off the True Path set before us by Calvin; purified by the Puritans and perfected by our Pope John MacArthur (PBUH). We’d like to think we taught the Bee everything we know.”—Dr. I. Todyaso of the Online Discernmentalist Mafia.

Will this match be made in heaven? We can only hope so as more people need to be exposed to the Purity of Discernmentlism’s Doctrines. Certainly the Babylon Bee and the ODMafia share the same sense of humor Doctrinal Clarity in common as this news report of theirs makes clear:

John MacArthur, pastor of Grace Community Church and president of The Master’s College and Seminary, has made a lofty promise to his congregation. He has reportedly committed to building a 20-foot thick, 30-foot high concrete wall around the entire perimeter of the church campus in order to keep out charismatics that might otherwise infiltrate their ranks.

“I will build a great wall, God willing. And I’ll build it very biblically. I will build a great, great wall all around our campus—and I’ll make the Pentecostals pay for it. Mark my words,” MacArthur was quoted as saying Friday.

—Tyrone V. Hoofendorfer for the Online Discernmentalist Mafia on Daily Bunker ODMs Express.

STATUS QUO JOE!

May 4, 2019

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‘They call him Status Quo Joe…she was his Discernmentalist rose lost in the flow…saying sayonara made him cry…but that’s not what they meant when they said goodbye…’

Eric Barger stars as Status Quo Joe—a down on his luck heresy hunter always ready to defend the Status Quo at all costs. Joe gets called to investigate a church outside of town—running into old troubles a long the way—causing him to discernmentalize by misunderstanding that any new way of doing church leads to Roman Catholic mysticism. After seeing couches and candles—Joe becomes increasingly convinced that this Emerging church has apostatized to contemplative meditation and therefore is no longer Bible-believing. Just when Joe is about to call down the wrath of God upon this church—the ghost of John Knox appears accusing Joe of being guilty by association for reciting Apostolic Creeds and also of being a reprobate (as Joe is an Arminianist Nazarene and Arminianism is the Road Back to Rome). Tearfully Joe bids farewell to the Status Quo for now—at least until his Doctrines are considered Pure once again.

—This film features the song Tokyo Joe based on the film of the same name which ironically this movie is not based on.

 

Emergency…Emergency…we are…

April 30, 2019

Once again by one of our own. Pulpit & Pen have launched missives at us and our Truth Bunker so we’re firing off our weapons of Massive destruction from all fronts to counteract their missives. Rallying all True Truth Warriors fighting for the Truth of our Pope John MacArthur (PBUH)’s glorious Truth War to  hunker down in our Truth Bunker where we’ll keep you safe in the Purity of our Great Doctrines for:

Right now, truth is under attack, and much is at stake. Perhaps no one in America is more passionate than John MacArthur about exposing those who are mounting this attack? especially those bringing the assault right into the church.

There is no middle ground? no safe zone for the uncommitted in this war. The battle for truth is raging, and (we alone are here to reveal):

  • The pitfalls of postmodern thinking

  • Why the Emerging Church Movement is inherently flawed

  • Past skirmishes in the Truth War and their effect on the Church

  • The importance of truth and certainty in a postmodern society

  • How to identify and address the errors and false teachings smuggled into churches