Archive for the ‘Tim LaHaye’ Category

Fanatic for Jesus calls John MacArthur’s Jesus: “New Age.”

May 20, 2011

“All those who truly love Christ and care about the truth have a solemn duty to defend the truth by exposing and opposing these lies that masquerade as truth. If we fail in that duty because of indifference, apathy, or a craving for the approval of men, we are no less guilty than those who actively spread the lies.”

~John MacArthur, Excerpt from Unholy Trinity

Donna Martin aka Fanatic For Jesus is on record as proclaiming that the Premillennial Dispensationalist’s Christ is a “New Age” Christ:

Even-though as we all know John MacArthur the Ways of the Master himself (P. B. U. H.) believes in Premillennial Dispensationalism and the Rapture. In fact John MacArthur has stated with Absolute Certitude that “Every Self-Respecting Calvinist is a Premillennial Dispensationalist Rapture Believer” so obviously Donna Martin aka Fanatic For Jesus isn’t really a Fanatic for the True Jesus of the Bible: John MacArthur’s Jesus. Repent Donna Martin aka Fanatic For Jesus before it’s too late—for the End is nigh—don’t be a fool and get Left Behind with the unregenerate non-Elect heathen reprobates and Postmodern Unbelievers…believe in Premillennial Dispensationalism and the Rapture or Else! By the way it’s not too late to stock up on our fine and quality John MacArthur approved hand-crafted RaptureHatches before the Rapture occurs this Saturday.

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John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) Will Get You Rapture Ready For Saturday!

May 19, 2011

John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) unlike Brian McLaren and his Emerging Babylonian hordes never falls prey to the winds of ear-tickling doctrines. This is because Saint John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) keeps his doctrines so Purer than anyone else’s that he can never fail at being the True Truth Warrior of Absolute Biblical Truth that he Truly is. Take the Pure Biblical Doctrine of the Rapture for instance—John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) has said: “It’s become kind of popular today, in the last two or three years, to believe in the rapture occurring at the end of the tribulation. There has been three positions, historically, “pre-trib,” “mid-trib,” and “post-trib.” What that means is the rapture occurs at the end of the tribulation: “post-tribulation;” the middle of the tribulation: “mid-tribulation;” the beginning of the tribulation: “pre-tribulation.” Now if you wanted to catalog me I would have to claim to be a “pre-tribulationist.” I believe the Church will be taken out before the tribulation.

Of course because Truth Matters, we all know that the Rapture is Pure Biblical Teaching and not a man-made invention by a deluded Scottish teenager unlike Brian McLaren’s heretical notion that the Kingdom of God is present in the world and within us. Phil Johnson and the Pyromaniacs agree as John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) has also said after being questioned about his Premillenial Dispensationalist Rapture beliefs:

Questioner: I am concern about Dispensationalism, I have been listening to Charles Swindoll, yourself and Dave Hawking, I really enjoy their ministry. And they all preach the pre-tribulation rapture, and I can buy that. I think it’s great. And then I hear some other respected men in the Lord say, “Well that is a dispensational point of view,” and they imply that that is something that has taken place within the last hundred years or so within the church. I just like to hear a little from you.

John MacArthur’s Answer: You see, that is just a label that they throw. What do you mean a dispensational point of view? The word dispensation is a NT word, Paul said “It was committed unto him the dispensation of the grace of God, dispensation of the mysteries.” It simply means a stewardship, it’s simply a term, that’s all. This is the accusation over and over again that Dispensationalism popped up with J. N. Darby, and C. I. Scofield, and all of that? But we are not working our way through a system, but rather attempting to interpret scripture on its own merit.

Ok, you have some basic things to deal with. Dispensationalism, by the way, is simply a title for theology that recognizes a literal nation Israel to be restored in the future. And recognizes a literal kingdom, and a literal tribulation, and a literal return, and a literal rapture, and that is dispensational. The other perspective is what’s called non-dispensational or covenant theology, which has no place for Israel, no kingdom in the future, and spiritualizes everything rather than making it literal.

Now, what you have to do is to go back to some very basic things. Dispensation simply means that God manages things in a certain way at a certain time. Everybody is a dispensationalist, everybody. I don’t care who they are in theology, they’re dispensational.

Elsewhere John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) has defined Every Self-Respecting Calvinist as a Premillennial Dispensationalist—in other words all True Christians are Premillenial Dispensationalist Rapture believers like John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) and Harold Camping. We hope this helps get you Rapture Ready for the Rapture and Judgement Day this Saturday—oh and don’t forget to buy one of our handy dandy RaptureHatches to be prepared… so  don’t get Left Behind with the unregenerate non-Elect heathens… be Rapture Ready with our Final Prophet John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.).

Rick Warren and Islamists’ Secret Death Star Plans Exposed

May 18, 2011

“We are currently prototyping and testing our global P.E.A.C.E. plan.”—Rick Warren, USA Today

Rick Warren seen secretly plotting with Islamists to inact the terror of his New Age Purpose-Driven Global Peace Plan across the universe. Part of Rick Warren’s plan is to build a fully operational Death Star with the aid of Islamists.  Warren expects the Death Star to be fully operational by 2013—Warren’s Death Star will force Christians to support his New Age Purpose-Driven Global Peace Plan or so Discernmentalist Researchmentalist experts say. “Rick Warren Hits Home Run with Announcement of Global Peace Plan to Battle the Giants of Our World.” —Assist News Agency

Warren’s Death Star, which is believed to have the capacity to neutralize the minds of an entire planet, was adopted from designs stolen from George Lucas’ studios and used by Vladimir Putin in his successful takeover of Russia in the late 1900s. It was re-stolen by Rick Warren and in the works using the gargantuan profits made by both Halliburton and Islamists in the Iraq War, now referred to as ‘Liberating Iraq’s Oil.’

Brannon Howse says of Rick Warren’s Global Peace Plan:

Certainly the world is all about solving its problems without the God of the Bible. Yet many professing Christians are rushing to remedy the world’s troubles in ways that are without the support of Scripture, some even in contradiction to what the Scriptures teach. Rick Warren’s global P.E.A.C.E. plan is one of many programs and teachings that, for the most part, cannot be reconciled with God’s prophetic Word. It is Warren’s “50-year plan” to cure global issues such as “pandemic diseases, extreme poverty, illiteracy, corruption, global warming, [and] spiritual emptiness” (see http://www.thebereancall.org). He claims that his social-works agenda developed from his reading of the Gospels–that Jesus gave him the model that was the antidote to the five biggest problems on the planet (see http://www.thebereancall.org). Warren subsequently expanded that model from an exclusive endeavor of Christianity to one requiring the support of all religions.

Rick Warren’s “ill-curing” ecumenical agenda is illogical as well as unbiblical. How can his game plan for remedying “spiritual emptiness” work with those who promote a false spirituality?   We agree which is why there are a number of pastors, ministries and authors throughout the world who are opposing Rick Warren, including Dr. John MacArthur, who exposed Warren in a chapter in his book called Fool’s Gold by Dr. John McArthur. We all must take a stand against Rick Warren‘s secret New Age Purpose-Driven Global Peace Death Star Plans.

Brannon Howse Exposes Richard Land’s New World Order

October 5, 2010

Item #1 on Brannon Howse’s New World Order Agenda plans for fellow Discernmentalists is to discernmentalize the following groups of people and their unbiblical *(note: anti-American) agendas: Marxists, Muslims, Mormons, Globalists, and Richard Land of the Southern Baptist Convention.

“Sadly,” notes Brannon Howse (our beloved Führer); “I believe the Southern Baptist Convention’s Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission headed by Richard Land is being used to push radically unbiblical, politically correct, and anti-American agendas. As a member of a solid, Bible teaching SBC church, I am very concerned about Land’s activities. However, I think even those that are not a member of an SBC church should be concerned since Land is speaking as an evangelical.”

Reasons why we all must now take a stand in God’s Absolute Sovereign Wrath by supporting  Brannon Howse’s Truth War against Richard Land of the Southern Baptist Convention’s Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission:

  • He’s recently and slowly joined the Axis of Evil—we have Absolute Proof:
  • He’s aided the terrorists as Land Endorsed the U.S. Muslim Engagement Project and is helping to build Mosques
  • He’s too soft on Emergent and Red Letter Christian heretics as Land endorsed a book by Radical Jim Walls
  • He’s a closet postmodern universalist/pluralistic ecumenist for Land gives credibility to Mormonism
  • He is for illegal aliens invading our hallowed God-blessed land as (Richard) Land promotes Obama’s amnesty agenda
  • He is for the Antichrist and the Antichrist’s New One World Religous Government and Economy (NWO) for Land gives credibility to global governance

How you can help aid Brannon Howse as a Discernmentalist and Truth Warrior:

While there may be a few liberal “Christians” that applaud Land as he gives credibility to globalism, ecumenicalism, Mormonism, Neo-Marxism, amnesty and Islam; I know many conservative, Bible-believing Christians are eagerly waiting for a swift and Biblical response by SBC leaders to Mr. Land’s unbiblical and unequally yoked spiritual endeavors. I have had several SBC pastors express their concern to me about Mr. Land’s activities. In fact, many SBC pastors and members have requested this article so they might distribute it to other SBC pastors and members in hopes Land can be stopped from using his position, the SBC name, and SBC funds to give credibility to these radical causes.

We all must now band together at once as people of different denominational and faith backgrounds in the tradition of Worldview Weekend to take a stand against Richard Land and his apostasy from Brannon Howse’s One World Fascist American Theocratic Agenda Absolute Biblical Truth and his treasonous behavior towards the American Gospel.

Ron Paul Wins CPAC: Bringing Us Closer To The End Times!

July 31, 2010

Ron Paul Fail hath wons the CPACs. Ron Fail on record against our Constitutional Invasion War. Ron Fail is anti-wars pacifist so means he pro-terrorist and also pro-the saTanic Emergent ufo invasions to brainwash the masses. We must stands up to this:

If Ron Fail wins 2012 elecshuns the terrorists win. No tru bible-believing Conservative should be against the wars. If the terrorists wins the antichrist comes. Oh and We blame Lew Rockwell and the emerging aliens on this too but also pseudo-scientifix polls not based on Biblical science.

Breaking News: Ingrid and the Mighty Slice Of Laodicea got Raptured from the Net!

June 8, 2010

           

I couldn’t believe my eyes today as our valiant Research Robot Monkeys were combing the net of our favorite Discernmentalists’ websites and blogs—when they  suddenly  noticed the absence of the presence of one of our  very favorite Mighty Truth Warrior blogs (under our own Affectionate Uncle Pastor-Teacher’s personal site, of course)—which had mysteriously and completely vanished into thin air…Poof…gone but not forgotten. Quite frankly we were quite shocked and  saddened to see that Ingrid Schlueter (who partners with the Great Pastor-Teacher himself on Christian Researchmentalist Network sometimes) and her Mighty Slice of Laodicea had been raptured off the Internet.

In a private conference with my fellow Discernmentalists, Dr. Truthslayer quipped:  “It has to be another evil Emergent plot at work.” I however fear for the very worse. I fear that Obama has finally taken control of the Internet in order to shut down any sites that are fighting against for the Truth. I mean why else would a blog that is so dedicated to lies and slander Truth disappear and vanish completely without a trace like that? We here and of the OD Mafia promise to stand firm in our convictions for protecting the Truth against Obamanation and E-mergent-ness. If Obama or an Emergent or any of our other enemies try to rapture up our Truth Warrior blogs, they’ll have to pry them from our cold dead hands first and even then we won’t let them.

Fellow Discernmentalists and Truth Warriors against for Truth, let us now take a moment of silence to remember with fondness the good ole days—back when Ingrid sliced up the Truth fought for the Truth on Slice of Laodicea before it succumbed to a genuine case of Internet rapture. Here to help us pay our respects and tribute to Ingrid’s SOL is a commemorative memorial photo of the former Great Slice of  Laodicea as it was in all of it’s Truth-Warrior missive glory before it’s tragic end of being raptured from  the net:

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Farewell Mighty Slice of Laodicea, we will miss you (and all the lies and slanders that you spread against fellow Christian Brothers and Sisters over the years of your short Internet lifespan) so! R. I. P… You may be gone, but you’re definitely not forgotten.

P. S. We heard a rumor that before Slice got raptured off the net they were working on a new pocket-sized version of their Truth-Grinder for a test market.

New World Order Weekend Notes The Wrong Person

March 24, 2010

Using the Discernmentalist art of Connecting the Dots, New World Order Weekend notes the wrong person:

(Above) is a clipping from a July 1982 DSA newsletter, listing the three Religion and Socialism Commission co-chairs. Note the center name Jim Wallace. Spelled differently, but is this a typo? Note the address – Quincy Street – one of five streets running through Columbia Heights in Washington D.C. Was this actually Barack Obama’s future spiritual adviser?

Applying the same principle of Discernmentalist Connect The Dots—we have discernmentalized the following facts: Anyone named Karl, Carl, Mark, Marx, Marks, Markson, Lenin, Lennon, Stalin, Fred, Karlson, Fredrick, Karlton, Friedrich, Freddy, Carlton, Carlson, Vlad, Vladmir, Engels, Jim, James, Wallis, Wallace, Barbara, Van, Van Buren, Jimmy,  John, Johnathan, Balzer, Johnny, etc. is clearly a Commie spy out to destroy America. Anyone with C, O, M, U, N, I, S, T, A, L, R and X anywhere in their name is truly a secret Socialist/Neo-Marxist. We Know!

Jim Wallis and Jim Wallace are really the same name  just  as  Karl Marx, Karl Marks, Karl Mark, Carl Marx, Carl Marks, Carl Mark, Marx Karl, Mark Karl, Marx Carl, Mark Carl, Mark Carlson, Carlton Marx, etc. are really the same name. Also the Marx Brothers are Absolutely Communists and related to Karl Marx. We Know so!

Connecting the Dots all our Fax/Facts fit our Absolute Truth as We have concluded and you can plainly see using our Absolute Biblical Certainty.

Obama And The New World Order Exposed

March 2, 2010

            

Discernmentalists we have exposed Obama‘s secret New World Order plans—thanks to Eric Barger and Brannon Howse. We have reason to believe that he may cause the end of the world in 2012 because We Know he is on Satan’s side. One of our Secret Research Robot Monkey Agents that infiltrated secret New World Order locations has concluded that:

President-Elect Barack Obama and his Liberal, Socialist Democratic Party are facilitators of the New World Order, a Luciferic Theocracy being promoted by The UNITED NATIONS, which is Anti-Israel and seeks the Disarmament of America and the restriction of many of our rights.
Beyond the wickedness that Obama and his Democrats have planned for America (A VIRTUAL POLICE STATE), Obama will turn against Israel as his U.N. based foreign policy favors Muslim Terrorists such as Hamas.
OBAMA in power will force ISRAEL to attack Iran’s nuclear weapons program (2009-2010 AD) triggering waves of terror attacks against USA and the west, the collapse of the USA stock market- leading to the FIRST OF TWO RAPTURES and the Start of The Tribulation.
Only a major EARTHQUAKE hitting Iran and destroying their nuclear program would stop Israel from attacking Iran’s nuclear program (2009-2010 AD). Israel will have no choice with OBAMA as President of The United States (with his Anti-Israel Agenda). If this major EARTHQUAKE does hit Iran, It will push the start of The Apocalypse closer to 2012 AD,THE MAYAN YEAR FOR DOOMSDAY AND THE COMING OF ANTICHRIST AS THE SAVIOR OF WORLD.”
 
 

 

Here is an exclusive video recovered by our Research Robot Monkeys detailing Obama’s plans for a Secret One World Religious Government:

Remember to let us do the thinking for you—so spread the fear and hate, because we told you so.

 

Coca-Cola Drinking Christians: Neo-Marxism In The Church?

February 16, 2010

In many churches and their buildings you may find red Coke machines. This is wrong as red is an evil color. Red is the color of communism, Satan and Leftist Christians or so-called Christians that want to mute the words of Paul and other writers and only follow Jesus’ words. They call themselves “red-letter Christians.”
 

 They feel it is convenient to blot out the words of Paul on homosexuality and focus in on the good deeds Jesus talks about. Most are pacifists who reject an “eye for an eye” (Leviticus 24:19-20). They focus on Jesus’ words about helping the poor, ministering to “the least of these” (Matthew 25:40), loving our enemies, etc. That justifies abandoning hundreds, even thousands of condemning verses in the Bible they choose to wish away. That makes homosexuality OK and war wrong! And remember, Paul and the others in the Bible represent Jesus’ words. They were His spokesmen. Some who believe this way practice a form of neo-Marxism and others would call it “Christian Marxism” — an oxymoron if there ever was one. They note that the early church shared everything (socialism).  A close cousin to this is “liberation theology.”
 
Those who are high profile in this movement include Jim Wallis, Tony Campolo, Brian McLaren and his Emergent bunch, and the National Council of Churches. Jim Wallis says, “In those red letters, Jesus calls us away from the consumerist values that dominate contemporary American consciousness.”  Translate that to mean he loathes capitalism and opts for socialism and/or communism. We believe the proportion of Coke drinking Christians is equal if not higher than the proportion of Emergent and Red Letter Christians. We believe these things have to do with eachother.

 

Coke use to contain trace amounts of cocaine within it—who is to say they have really removed all the traces of cocaine from their “secret formula.” Anything secret sounds fishy to us—sounds New Agey and  New World Orderish to us as well—in fact, We Know that The Coca-Cola Company is a Global company and globalism is one way in which the New World Order/One World Secret Religious Mystery Babylon Government operates. Could it be that drinking Coke leads to Christians becoming Emergent and Red Letter Christians? Our Research Robot Monkeys have investigated these links further—here are their findings:

We Know that Emergent churches are into being relevant and making a point by incorporating secular and worldly pop culture into their theology. We also Know that Coke is a modern icon idol of secular and worldly pop culture. In many churches and their buildings you may find red Coke machines—many of these churches support the “Seeker-Sensitive” movement—they feel the need to cater to the needs of Coke drinkers everywhere regardless of whether or not they are regenerated True converts or unregenerate reprobated False converts. Red is also a popular color of Kool-Aid which Leftist Liberals love to drink therefore since we have reason to believe that cocaine is still part of Coca-Cola’s “secret formula” and liebrals want to legalize all sorts of drugs—Coke is a way to brainwash the masses in church to communism and the false gospel of social action and social change aka the Social Gospel which is just disguised socialism in Christian dressing.

We are appalled as Coca-Cola Drinking (Red-letter/Emergent) Christians join the chorus of those who believe in a utopia with no wanting or war. Yes, that will come someday, but not the way they think. This could come as a shock to them just because they have little to no regard for other parts of the Bible. They have almost created a new meaning for the term “biblical illiteracy.” 

It is tragic that these folks are frequently called “the evangelical Left.” They don’t have even 1% of evangelical theology in a single bone in their body. They cherry- pick the verses they like, almost exclusively the red letters of Jesus. It is also a great tragedy that we’ve allowed Coca-Cola products into our churches knowing how they are agents of the New World Order/One World Secret Religious Mystery Babylon Government opposing our Pure Bible-based Doctrines of wrath, hate, war, torture, greed, exploitation and Capitalism.

Worldview Weekend Caught Displaying It’s New World Order Roots Again

January 29, 2010

So we got the latest newsletter laxative Massive from New World Order Weekend Worldview Weekend in our email box today and one of the articles was about the evils of abortion which was all well and good until we noticed the author was endorsing Roman Catholicism—how dare he. Here for all to see is Cliff Kincaid‘s rank apostasy:

None Dare Call it Genocide By Cliff Kincaid  |  January 25, 2010

Robert McCartney of the Washington Post went to the March for Life and discovered that young people are on the side of life.

Dennis Howard told EWTN television network on the day of the March for Life in Washington, D.C. that legalized abortion is the equivalent of 260 Haiti disasters on American soil. The death toll from abortion in the U.S. is over 52 million.

One of the differences is that Haiti is the result of a natural disaster. Abortion is man-made.

Another difference is that we search for the victims in Haiti and rush assistance to those injured from the earthquake. The victims of abortion are not worthy of sympathy or attention because they are the product of a “woman’s right to choose.” 

How dare he —doesn’t he know that EWTN is a Catholic channel which airs anti-Protestant propaganda that attacks our Absolute Truth Doctrines. Not only that Cliff Kincaid endorses Catholicism not just once but several times:

Robert McCartney of the Washington Post went to the March for Life and discovered that young people are on the side of life. Though “pro-choice” himself, he reported that “…I was especially struck by the large number of young people among the tens of thousands at the march. It suggests that the battle over abortion will endure for a long time to come.” He noted that some of them carried “We are the pro-life generation” placards.

McCartney implied that many young people were raised Catholic and programmed to oppose abortion. Indeed, some may be pro-life because their parents are pro-life. But some may be pro-life by virtue of the fact that they are alive and grateful for it. 

In addition to the pictures of aborted babies, which never show up in the major media, we have the ultrasound images of babies in the womb. General Electric has a piece of equipment, the GE 4D ultrasound, that takes some of the best pictures. 

When my wife and I had our first child, the ultrasound images were grainy. They are much clearer now.

McCartney’s point about Catholic involvement was nevertheless true. There was a heavy Catholic presence. But some marchers let the Bishops know that they are not satisfied with the church’s treatment of the issue.  “Excommunicate all Catholic pro-abortion politicians” proclaimed one sign. “Bishops: Enforce Canon 915” said another. Section 915 of the Code of Canon Law requires the denial of Holy Communion to those engaging in “grave sin,” interpreted by traditional Catholics as support for abortion

We here at God’s Only Inerrant Party and the Online Discernmentalist Mafia can’t let this ecumenical heresy slide as we never compromise our Absolute Truth with heretics. Hasn’t Cliff Kincaid ever read the illustrious Ken Silva’s articles as our Uncle the great Pastor-Teacher Ken has also written for Worldview Weekend New World Order Weekend at times? Doesn’t he know that the Pope is the spiritual Anti-Christ bent on a One World Religious Government and the Roman Catholic Church wants to destroy our Pure Churches? Tisk tisk ever since we’ve caught Adolf Howse Brannon Howse endorsing Scientology we believe that Worldview Weekend New World Order Weekend has been slipping into Emergent error. We Know because of Tim LaHaye and Ken Silva’s clear teachings that we’ve studied and surpassed. All we have to say to Cliff Kincaid is repent of your errors or face God’s Wrath.