Posts Tagged ‘Entertainment’

Trump considers Sicking Lobstermen from Mars on Deep State

December 11, 2019

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Shelldrake Clorzo  pledges to pinch the Deep State with his pincers

QAnon reports on American Thinker:

Will December be the month the pincers close in on the Deep State?  Some promising storm clouds are building.  Justice Department inspector general Michael Horowitz will appear before Senator Lindsey Graham’s Judiciary Committee on December 11, with the long promised I.G. report on FISA abuse to be released December 9.The report is already being downplayed by the media, with the New York Times warning, “DOJ watchdog report expected to clear Comey, McCabe, and Strzok of bias in Trump-Russia probe.”  Okey-dokey, case closed.  The storm will be only a light breeze — at least according to their “unnamed sources” and “officials familiar with the report.” Read more: https://www.americanthinker.com/articles/2019/11/are_the_pincers_closing_on_the_deep_state.html#ixzz66pc3EPCC

It was also reported from an anonymous transmission from outer space that a UFO was spotted a few light-years from Earth. The Trump Administration has said to have made contact with the ship piloted by one Shelldrake Clorzo (a lobsterman from Mars). Shelldrake has been desperately searching for a way to avoid problems with the IRS of Mars and the unpaid millions he owes them in back taxes. He has asked Trump for help—in return and armed with a foolproof plan he pledges to sick his pincers on the Deep State to repay Trump.

Boycott Paul McCartney!

November 13, 2019

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We’re under attack—this time by Paul McCartney:

toughcritic
at 6-14-2010

McCartney is a pathetic aging liberal fraud. He made his millions on American dollars both in record sales and concerts. He takes everything American capitalism can offer but supports every liberal cause and politician while insulting our former great president Bush. If Obama had a shred of class, which he desperately lacks, he would have disavowed McCartney’s asinine comment. (Source: a raptured URL)

Boycott Paul McCartney for being too liberal against our doctrines. Boycott Macca for supporting capitalism but insulting W and therefore hurted our feelings. Thankfully none of our own support capitalism but insulted W:

Two important news stories broke this week that reveal that President Obama is building a worldview propaganda machine. This should be offensive to all Americans in both parties for many reasons that I will explain. However, I believe that it will not be offensive to enough Americans to make a difference because our nation’s citizens have largely lost the ability to use reason, logic, and context. To those who think I am only writing this article because Obama is a democrat, you are wrong. I was one of the first conservative talk show hosts to refer to George W. Bush as a socialist and a globalist. Both parties are destroying our country. (Source: Boycott Obama’s Worldview Propaganda Machine By Brannon Howse)

The Bush presidency is the largest disappointment in the history of the modern conservative movement. The Bush presidency was supposed to be the culmination of all the hard work conservatives had done. In 1994 the “Republican Revolution” in Congress and then the control of the executive branch by Bush gave this country the possibility of returning from big government liberal garbage to the sanity of the Constitution. Well we all know what happened. The “Republican revolution” was nothing more than an increase in the same old liberal big government garbage. They sold us out!

I had my feelings about President George W. Bush when he ran for his first term. I had uneasy feelings about his so called “compassionate conservatism”. It reminded me of his father’s slap in the face of the great Ronald Regan. After Regan served his second term, George Bush senior said we needed a “kinder and gentler nation”. That was a direct insinuation that somehow Regan was not kind or gentle. It was the uneasy feelings that I had about President George W. Bush that caused me not to vote for him. I voted third party instead. When it came time to choose between Bush and Kerry in the last presidential election, I voted for Bush (while holding my nose) since I knew there was a good possibility that the Supreme Court would open a few seats. I hoped that Bush would appoint good justices and it seems he did. I will give him credit for that at least.

Here is the problem; one can point to any president and come up with something that they did that was good (well almost any president). The real question is did that president move us closer or further away from the Constitution. Bush has been a disaster concerning the question. He along with the “Republican Revolution” congress moved us to bigger and bigger government with higher spending and the huge new prescription drug entitlement program, and centralizing education. Pork barrel spending and insane amounts of money spent in foreign aid in countries with corrupt governments. Bush tried to fight the Iraq war with political correctness instead of fighting the war as if it is a war. (Source: It’s Official – President Bush Has Lost His Mind!)

This is a warning to you Obama and Paul McCartney we’re boycotting you and we hope you feel hurted by it as you count your millions and laugh in our faces.

Days Of ElSandi’s Lies

November 11, 2019

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A GOIP and ODMafia co-production—what Christian Research Network describes as “the Greatest Soap Opera of our Times!” In it ElSandi begins discernmentalizing all and correcting them with her lies Discernmentalist Truth such as:

” When evangelical Christians talk about religious liberty, they mean it for everyone but Muslims. ” There are more cults than just muslim”“Women standing with women. That’s what I wanted to see,” she explained in “Same God.”” Except it is not the same God. Jesus doesn’t suggest that people kill Jews or Christians, or homosexuals, or people who leave the cult,

“It also remains a flashpoint for those who call the hijab oppressive or religiously unnecessary, pointing to the societies where modest dressing is forced.” – or FGM is practiced

How dare anyone suggest muslimen and Christians worship the same God—don’t they know that Allah is Arabic for God? Don’t they know that God (Allah) is the God of Abraham the Father of many nations? Don’t they know that Allah in the Bible Quran commanded gays to be stoned to death in Leviticus 20:13? And that Jesus Allah commands those that refuse to worship Him as King be put to death before Him in Luke 19:27? Or that only Muslims practice FGM like the Copts and Beta Israel? Find out the Discernmentalist Truth about these and much much more in Days Of ElSandi’s Lies!

This Just In: U2’s Bono Pulls Emergents To Hell

July 17, 2019

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Bono (Pictured)

Breaking News from the Frontlines of the Truth WarThis article will show you that not only are Bono and C. S. Lewis by guilt of association not a Christian, but that they are both really from the dark side:

Have you been fooled by this rocker, who talks about his love for Jesus, but in reality shows his love for Satan during his performances? He has an alter ego named “MacPhisto.” Did you know that MacPhisto is in The Screw Tape Letters, by C.S. Lewis. The book’s characters are demons, and MacPhisto is a demon who works hard at communicating with baby Christians to get them away from God!

“But U2 is much more than a popular rock band. U2 has a great influence in the emerging church and the contemporary worship movement. U2’s lead singer Bono is praised almost universally among contemporary and emerging Christians. Phil Johnson observes that “Bono seems to be the chief theologian of the Emerging Church Movement” (Absolutely Not! Exposing the Post-modern Errors of the Emerging Church, pg. 9).

Oh the sheer horror! The sinfully horrifyingly devilish pic above is enough to lead me away from Biblical Christianity but I’m even more horrified that the article quoted above mentioned C. S. Lewis (a known heretic). Don’t they know that C. S. Lewis is a heretic as per our Clear Teachings? In fact he’s even beloved by Emerging heretics so that makes him equally heretical in keeping with our traditions by our laws of guilt by association. Here are some of the things these Emergent heretics have said about C. S. Lewis (a heretic):

  • “Like you, I have great respect for C. S. Lewis…”—Brian McLaren
  • “I am busy because I am lazy. I indolently let others decide what I will do instead of resolutely deciding myself. It was a favorite theme of C. S. Lewis that only lazy people work hard. By lazily abdicating the essential work of deciding and directing, establishing values and setting goals, other people do it for us.” ― Eugene Peterson
  • “Following Christ includes belonging, not just believing. British author and theologian C.S. Lewis noted that the word membership is of Christian origin, but the world has emptied it of its original meaning.”—Rick Warren
  • Urban Faith notes on Rob Bell:  Bell’s view on hell is like that of C.S. Lewis (not a surprise: he directs readers to Lewis’ Great Divorce in the back of the book): people get what they want.

From all of this we can gather that C.S. Lewis (a heretic) would’ve been a U2 fan were he still around in today’s perilous times—even Bono himself has a fondness for heretic C. S. Lewis:

“Many readers of this blog will be aware of Bono’s affection for C. S. Lewis, and how Lewis has influenced his theological commitments. You hear the echo of Lewis’s trilemma here from the book, Bono in Conversation, distinguishing “karma” from “grace,” which, Bono declares, is a “mind blowing concept…that keeps me on my knees.”

On reading said quote of Bono on Jesus Emerging heretic Frank Viola exclaimed: Is the Lead Singer of U2 the New C.S. Lewis? Other Discernmentalist Ministries have also observed Lewis’ heresies: “CS Lewis – his style dupes many Christians…his style is a Trojan horse for bad theology.” ~ Mike Abendroth. Dr. Hugh Jass himself—Phil Johnson’s mighty Pyromaniacs has stated:

CS Lewis did not believe in Hell and he believed in purgatory. CS Lewis was heavily influenced by his friend JRR Tolkien (who wrote Lord of the Rings) a Roman Catholic and he was also influenced by the writings of GK Chesterton, another Romanist.

Tolkien was disappointed that CS Lewis moved from his atheism but not to the Roman Catholic Church. Lewis was sort of “Anglo-Catholic.” Anyway, Tolkien’s influence on Lewis may explain Lewis’ heterodoxy.

Most importantly the Ways of the Master himself—the Pope of the Truth War John MacArthur (PBUH) declares:

Not many evangelicals would openly claim to believe in purgatory, even if their eschatology bears a striking resemblance to Catholic dogma. Eschewing the Catholic emphasis on works righteousness, a growing number in the church believe that God’s grace extends to sinners beyond the grave, rescuing them from the due penalty of their sin in the afterlife. C.S. Lewis’s book The Great Divorceplays out this theory in narrative form, as unrepentant sinners are coaxed into heaven by the saints.

But that view has no biblical basis—it’s driven by sentiment, not Scripture.

Therefore we can only conclude that NOW THE END BEGINS are leading millions away from Biblical Christianity by mentioning C. S. Lewis (a heretic).

 

 

Celebrities Endorsed Rob Bell’s Dr. Pepper

May 21, 2019

Gene Simmons of Kiss in the past endorsed Rob Bell’s heretical plot to use Dr. Pepper to lure unsuspecting sinners into believing God’s Love wins. Quote one of our old articles—Actual quote from Rob Bell (a heretic): “Hahaha…if I use the same colors on the book cover of Love Wins as Dr. Pepper Cherry, people will have to believe my Universalist message that Love Wins.” Ken Silva who wasn’t half the Discernmentalist that we are—failed to catch that. Thankfully though we have warned you at just how crafty the Emergent Church’s secret Agenda is!

Thankfully our Research Robot Monkeys also heard that Gene recently got saved from the Emergent hordes as he was heard weeping tears of joy at the Pentagon from hearing the good news of their war mongering. We heard he repented and started worshipping America First again—thank our Angry God! Now you may not know but elsewhere Rob Bell (a heretic) said this against our beloved America which proves him a heretic as America should never be questioned:

“Most of the Bible is a history told by people living in lands occupied by conquering superpowers. It is a book written from the underside of power. It’s an oppression narrative. The majority of the Bible was written by a minority people living under the rule and reign of massive, mighty empires, from the Egyptian Empire to the Babylonian Empire to the Persian Empire to the Assyrian Empire to the Roman Empire.

This can make the Bible a very difficult book to understand if you are reading it as a citizen of the most powerful empire the world has ever seen. Without careful study and reflection, and humility, it may even be possible to miss central themes of the Scriptures.”
Rob Bell, Jesus Wants to Save Christians: A Manifesto for the Church in Exile

You see there he’s saying Americans can’t understand the Bible—nonsense as we all know Americans (or at least Nationalists) wrote our Bible. Here’s a Trumpism for you to counteract this heresy: “We love winners. We love winners. Winners are winners.”

An Update on an Update: We’re still under attack!!! by gay cartoon rats!!

May 17, 2019

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Extra Freaking Out Discernmentalist News: I would have written this on my original article but I didn’t want Mrs. Jobson to get suspicious again that I had fallen away and was looking up ghey furry porn sites. This is why I had to write a new article to bring you this important update and so that I didn’t have to look at the unholy horror of that sinful pic again. We also needed to test out Dr. I. Todyaso’s Fictional Gay Character Eraser so we are glad that we can use a *censored* photo this time as I was concerned my previous article with the uncensored pic was accidently turning our readers ghey by sight osmosis from all it’s gaydiation rays being emitted.

Anyways this is Update #4 I think: You know our fight in the Truth War against fictional gay cartoon rats is really heating up when Activist Mommy joins in. Quote:

It’s becoming nearly impossible to trust any children’s entertainment these days, with the pervasive themes of gender confusion and alternative sexual lifestyles wherever you look. It’s become vogue to set your show apart with the introduction of a gay character or gay kiss…even on shows for very young children.

This is not the first time the show Arthur has pushed the LGBT agenda.  In 2005, the show aired an episode called, “Postcards from Buster,” in which the titular character visits Vermont to learn about the maple syrup production process.  While he is there, he meets a few children who have lesbian moms. The word “lesbian” is not used in the episode just like the word “gay” is not used in the wedding episode.  There is not any actual explanation in either episode, just extremely suggestive imagery that is impossible to misinterpret.

Flying just low enough under the radar that most parents won’t find it worth standing up against, but evident enough to leave an impression on children.

Make no mistake, this is not an innocent attempt to promote love and acceptance.  This is blatant indoctrination aimed to break down our children’s developing moral foundations.

We as Christians can fight this assault on our children’s minds…

Thankfully you have Important ministries like ours to warn you of the Clear and present dangers of fictional gay characters like cartoon rats that will surely turn kids ghey instead of focusing on real issues like child abuse rampart in our churches. Why if we don’t continue to take a stand against fictional gay cartoon rats—real rats might get ideas and choose to be gay.

Update # 5: Sadly in having to quote from Activist Mommy’s article I accidently caught a glimpse of the Holy horror of the uncensored version of that sinful pic again while Mrs. Jobson was in the room and I’ve been banished to sleep on the couch in my study. (Editors’ Note: We’re horrified that Activist Mommy didn’t have the decency to release a censored version of that unholy pic with all it’s abominable filth like Don’s second article does).

Update # 6: Thankfully Mrs. Jobson agreed to a session of MacArthurite approved Bible-based counseling. Some of our staff are now locking Mrs. Jobson in a dark room and screaming and yelling Bible verses at her until she agrees to resubmit to the Divine Authority of my Male Headship. Thank our Angry Sovereign God it worked and she now knows her place once more!

Under Attack by Fictional Gay Cartoon Rats!

May 15, 2019

 

 

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Gay cartoon rats (Our Real enemies) turning kids ghey!

Now that our war with (Insert PP joke here-File Not Found) is over and we declared ourselves the winners—we can get back to focusing our discernmentalizing energies on fighting against real enemies like fictional characters such as gay cartoon rats. Yes gay cartoon rats as The Queerosexualist PC agenda has struck again our beloved Arthur threatening our hetero-marriages once again. Run…run and lock  your doors…bar your windows and hide the children. The Sanctity of our marriages are being destroyed. Our Pure marriage Doctrines are now in danger unless we come against this and forbid fictional characters from getting ghey married and exposing kids to gheybuttsecks against our Clear Teachings of it’s ickyness.

Oh the horror…the  sheer horror! I had to shield my eyes several times from the horror of that picture and out of fear of turning ghey by sight osmosis (from all the gaydiation that picture emits) while I was writing this important article. In fact Mrs. Jobson threatened to divorce me as she had thought I was looking up ghey furry porn sites—but I explained to her I was doing researchmentalism for this very urgent article that required my discernmentalism. We warned you when we already apprised you of the rabbit hole that ghey buttsecks leads to: Manimals.

You should have heeded our warning when you had the chance…now America has truly fallen since this travesty has been allowed to pollute the Purity of our airwaves. Personally Dr. Truthslayer blames the liberal Commiefied Canada’s involvement with Arthur for this assault on our Biblical marriages. Dr. I. Todyaso is now at this very moment working closely with Eric Barger inventor of Stretch Technology; Smocking Gun Technology; and co-inventor of our Gaydar on inventing a Fictional Gay Character Eraser  (Codenamed: Fig Leaf) in order to stop this menacing threat that will surely prevent us from having Hetero-marriages by turning everyone ghey.

Thankfully you have True Biblical manly-men like us to warn you of these real and present dangers contributing to the downfall of our society.

Update: [H/T]- Sadly Ken Ham beat us to the punch-line of our Discernmentalist Researchmentalism but we were working on our article first* as we are still # 1 in Discernmentalism as just like him we were totally scandalized by fiction depicting reality that we had to get this worked up about the love life of a cartoon rat all over again after having to edit in Ken’s comment:

{Edit}-

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*- Proof

Update # 2: We’ve had to repent several times from staring at the unholy horror of that picture once to edit in these updates and again to post this article. We’ve all had to spend extra time in our re-sanctification closets to wash away that disgustingly dirty pic from our minds. {Edit}- We almost questioned our manhood so we had to reread Dr. I. Todyaso’s recent sermon on the manliness of beards  several times to reassure ourselves that our manhood was still intact while we were in our re-sanctification closets.

Update # 3: Suspected Sintologist Franklin Graham has now joined our Truth War against fictional gay cartoon rats. Quote: “PBS receives government funding — why should our government be financing programming that promotes behavior the Bible says is sinful?” {Edit}- Mrs. Jobson has now threatened to go stay with my Mother-in-Law after seeing that sinful picture again in my browser but I reassured her that was the last time as I needed to finish this utmost and urgently important article soon to stop the encroaching hordes of even more fictional gay cartoon rats spawning and spreading the gheyness around. Now she knows that without us Online Discernmentalists protecting society from the sin of fictional characters no one would be safe.

STATUS QUO JOE!

May 4, 2019

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‘They call him Status Quo Joe…she was his Discernmentalist rose lost in the flow…saying sayonara made him cry…but that’s not what they meant when they said goodbye…’

Eric Barger stars as Status Quo Joe—a down on his luck heresy hunter always ready to defend the Status Quo at all costs. Joe gets called to investigate a church outside of town—running into old troubles a long the way—causing him to discernmentalize by misunderstanding that any new way of doing church leads to Roman Catholic mysticism. After seeing couches and candles—Joe becomes increasingly convinced that this Emerging church has apostatized to contemplative meditation and therefore is no longer Bible-believing. Just when Joe is about to call down the wrath of God upon this church—the ghost of John Knox appears accusing Joe of being guilty by association for reciting Apostolic Creeds and also of being a reprobate (as Joe is an Arminianist Nazarene and Arminianism is the Road Back to Rome). Tearfully Joe bids farewell to the Status Quo for now—at least until his Doctrines are considered Pure once again.

—This film features the song Tokyo Joe based on the film of the same name which ironically this movie is not based on.

 

Your Best Hell Now!

April 28, 2019

Introducing a new book recently rediscovered in our super secret archives. In Your Worst Hell Now aka Your Best Hell Now sinisterly ecumenical possible semi-pelagian quasi-universalist mystic Emergence guru Rob Bell teaches heretical apostates these essential Christian non-Christian Doctrines:

  • That God is everywhere
  • Including hell
  • That God is love
  • That God’s love wins
  • That God wishes that all might be saved
  • Among other  square quotes “sinister” and biblical unbiblical ideas

We Online Discernmentalists know that no one before murky mystic Rob Bell, an icon in the postliberal cult of the Emergent Church and teaching pastor at Mars Hill Bible Church, taught this:

“In souls, there is no illness caused by evilness [ἀπὸ κακίας] that is impossible to cure [ἀδύνατον θεραπευθῆναι] for God the Logos, who is superior to all.” (CC 8.72)”
Origen, Contra Celsum

“Christ reigns in order to save.” (Hom. in Luc. 30)”
Origen, Homilies on Luke: Fragments on Luke
———-
As you can see from those sinister quotes above—this is why we of the ODMafia community would never under any circumstances recommend Rob Bell’s book. Our Research Robot Monkeys have just informed us that our old enemy Mike Morell recommends Rob Bell’s books to everyone that in itself should tell you how sinfully apostate this book isn’t.

New Life Form Possibly Found on Saturn’s Biggest Moon

April 25, 2019

Editors’ Note: Ken’s race of ODMs live on even-though Ken passed on a soldier fallen in battle in our Truth War 

 

Ken Silva may have passed on—blessed be his memory but his race of Super Secret ODMs  still live on. He is still a leader in our hearts with his ever-apprising ways. We pledged allegiance to help Ken in his fight against Truth for Truth  in support of our Pope John MacArthur (PBUH)’s Truth War to divide the church with unite the church around our Doctrine. United we still stand with or without one of our beloved leaders—able to judgmentalize and discernmentalize all those who stand against us in our ministry of division Truth. Here we stand because we’re always Right.