Posts Tagged ‘Trumpisms’

A New PSA Message from Our Conspiracy-Driven Church!:

May 22, 2019

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FEAR… ANGER… HATRED… AGRESSION… SUFFERING….

Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”—John Howard Yoder

“Together, these elements helped create a society in which many Americans see millions of snares, laid by a menacing group of enemies, all the more alarming for how difficult they are to identify and pin down.

Let’s pause to attempt to define a conspiracy theory. It is a belief that a small group of people are working in secret against the common good, to create harm, to effect some negative change in society, to seize power for themselves, or to hide some deadly or consequential secret. An actual conspiracy is when a small group of people are working in secret against the common good – and anyone who tells you we can always easily distinguish fictitious plots from real ones probably hasn’t read much history.

Conspiracy theories tend to flourish especially at times of rapid social change, when we are re-evaluating ourselves and, perhaps, facing uncomfortable questions in the process. In 1980, the civil liberties lawyer and author Frank Donner wrote that conspiracism reveals a fundamental insecurity about who Americans want to be versus who they are.” (Source)

We Discernmentalists are Conspiracy Theory-addicts—the more unbelievable the conspiracy the better to defend our Truth with. If your church teaches social justice—say George Soros is funding this teaching even-though it is in the Bible and Church History. Social Justice sounds too much like Socialism. If your Preacher preaches that God is love and loves the world—accuse him of preaching Universalist heresy among other heresies. Thankfully we Discernmentalists can find a conspiracy to suit our every need. We love our tin-foil hats and we love to keep them on extra tight.

And remember Conspiracy theories are I. Todyaso backed…Truthslayer and Don Jobson approved

 

Obama Is UnChristian: We Have Absolute Proof—

May 15, 2019

Exposed Obama’s Musliman ties—-smocking gun:

Barakobama’s .com

Our Research Robot Monkeys stumbled upon Obama’s personal homepage back in 2010 but our signals got jammed by the CIA. We can only bring you this horror now unfortunately. We think the code hidden in the Musliman language is talking about terrorizing Trump with pizza until he’s too Yuge to fit through the White House gate. The author of this plan shared with Obama was Anonymous. This gives us all the more reason to not question it’s authenticity. Our Research Robot Monkeys are still analyzing the rest of this hideous website.

Dr. I. Todyaso of ODMafia fame called to fact check Babylon Bee

May 7, 2019

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Daily Bunker ODMs Express— Our very own Dr. I. Todyaso named Head Researcher and Fact Checker for Babylon Bee after they pledged to support us in being #1 in Absolute Truth; Alt-facts; journalism and Fake News in Discernmentalism. Quote: “We look forward to our new partnership in helping us spread our Truth War Pope’s Absolute Truth (PBUI) to more people and helping us fight the good fight in lying; slandering as well as falsely accusing others of heresy by spreading misinformation and made up quotes about them. Before the Babylon Bee there was only us and our mentor the late Ken Silva—we were lone voices in the wilderness calling out all those sliding off the True Path set before us by Calvin; purified by the Puritans and perfected by our Pope John MacArthur (PBUH). We’d like to think we taught the Bee everything we know.”—Dr. I. Todyaso of the Online Discernmentalist Mafia.

Will this match be made in heaven? We can only hope so as more people need to be exposed to the Purity of Discernmentlism’s Doctrines. Certainly the Babylon Bee and the ODMafia share the same sense of humor Doctrinal Clarity in common as this news report of theirs makes clear:

John MacArthur, pastor of Grace Community Church and president of The Master’s College and Seminary, has made a lofty promise to his congregation. He has reportedly committed to building a 20-foot thick, 30-foot high concrete wall around the entire perimeter of the church campus in order to keep out charismatics that might otherwise infiltrate their ranks.

“I will build a great wall, God willing. And I’ll build it very biblically. I will build a great, great wall all around our campus—and I’ll make the Pentecostals pay for it. Mark my words,” MacArthur was quoted as saying Friday.

—Tyrone V. Hoofendorfer for the Online Discernmentalist Mafia on Daily Bunker ODMs Express.