Archive for the ‘666 Revelations’ Category

Everything is the Other Side’s Fault…

August 3, 2019

67348309_10215226722245883_1387808159308972032_n

The newest product from Blame & Shame Co (a division of GOIP Industries)—the Hate Radio Hat comes pre-set with a filter that automatically pre-tunes to the wearer’s personal biases. Dividing and conquering has never been easier for the Discernmentalist on the hunt for enemies. Now you’ll be able to find heresy where there is none. Turn any conservative quote into a racist one and any liberal quote into a socialist one. In example—of course Democrats are the only ones who would burn a church like Jered Ragon (founder of Abolish Human Abortion). We also have discernmentalized that Left-wing terrorism (responsible for 23 deaths between 1992-2017) is more violent than Right-wing terrorism (responsible for 217 between 1992-2017). Peace is heresy and warmongering is blessed. Being right and certain in our beliefs is more important than truth. So believe what we tell you because we told ya so.

This Just In: U2’s Bono Pulls Emergents To Hell

July 17, 2019

mac001

Bono (Pictured)

Breaking News from the Frontlines of the Truth WarThis article will show you that not only are Bono and C. S. Lewis by guilt of association not a Christian, but that they are both really from the dark side:

Have you been fooled by this rocker, who talks about his love for Jesus, but in reality shows his love for Satan during his performances? He has an alter ego named “MacPhisto.” Did you know that MacPhisto is in The Screw Tape Letters, by C.S. Lewis. The book’s characters are demons, and MacPhisto is a demon who works hard at communicating with baby Christians to get them away from God!

“But U2 is much more than a popular rock band. U2 has a great influence in the emerging church and the contemporary worship movement. U2’s lead singer Bono is praised almost universally among contemporary and emerging Christians. Phil Johnson observes that “Bono seems to be the chief theologian of the Emerging Church Movement” (Absolutely Not! Exposing the Post-modern Errors of the Emerging Church, pg. 9).

Oh the sheer horror! The sinfully horrifyingly devilish pic above is enough to lead me away from Biblical Christianity but I’m even more horrified that the article quoted above mentioned C. S. Lewis (a known heretic). Don’t they know that C. S. Lewis is a heretic as per our Clear Teachings? In fact he’s even beloved by Emerging heretics so that makes him equally heretical in keeping with our traditions by our laws of guilt by association. Here are some of the things these Emergent heretics have said about C. S. Lewis (a heretic):

  • “Like you, I have great respect for C. S. Lewis…”—Brian McLaren
  • “I am busy because I am lazy. I indolently let others decide what I will do instead of resolutely deciding myself. It was a favorite theme of C. S. Lewis that only lazy people work hard. By lazily abdicating the essential work of deciding and directing, establishing values and setting goals, other people do it for us.” ― Eugene Peterson
  • “Following Christ includes belonging, not just believing. British author and theologian C.S. Lewis noted that the word membership is of Christian origin, but the world has emptied it of its original meaning.”—Rick Warren
  • Urban Faith notes on Rob Bell:  Bell’s view on hell is like that of C.S. Lewis (not a surprise: he directs readers to Lewis’ Great Divorce in the back of the book): people get what they want.

From all of this we can gather that C.S. Lewis (a heretic) would’ve been a U2 fan were he still around in today’s perilous times—even Bono himself has a fondness for heretic C. S. Lewis:

“Many readers of this blog will be aware of Bono’s affection for C. S. Lewis, and how Lewis has influenced his theological commitments. You hear the echo of Lewis’s trilemma here from the book, Bono in Conversation, distinguishing “karma” from “grace,” which, Bono declares, is a “mind blowing concept…that keeps me on my knees.”

On reading said quote of Bono on Jesus Emerging heretic Frank Viola exclaimed: Is the Lead Singer of U2 the New C.S. Lewis? Other Discernmentalist Ministries have also observed Lewis’ heresies: “CS Lewis – his style dupes many Christians…his style is a Trojan horse for bad theology.” ~ Mike Abendroth. Dr. Hugh Jass himself—Phil Johnson’s mighty Pyromaniacs has stated:

CS Lewis did not believe in Hell and he believed in purgatory. CS Lewis was heavily influenced by his friend JRR Tolkien (who wrote Lord of the Rings) a Roman Catholic and he was also influenced by the writings of GK Chesterton, another Romanist.

Tolkien was disappointed that CS Lewis moved from his atheism but not to the Roman Catholic Church. Lewis was sort of “Anglo-Catholic.” Anyway, Tolkien’s influence on Lewis may explain Lewis’ heterodoxy.

Most importantly the Ways of the Master himself—the Pope of the Truth War John MacArthur (PBUH) declares:

Not many evangelicals would openly claim to believe in purgatory, even if their eschatology bears a striking resemblance to Catholic dogma. Eschewing the Catholic emphasis on works righteousness, a growing number in the church believe that God’s grace extends to sinners beyond the grave, rescuing them from the due penalty of their sin in the afterlife. C.S. Lewis’s book The Great Divorceplays out this theory in narrative form, as unrepentant sinners are coaxed into heaven by the saints.

But that view has no biblical basis—it’s driven by sentiment, not Scripture.

Therefore we can only conclude that NOW THE END BEGINS are leading millions away from Biblical Christianity by mentioning C. S. Lewis (a heretic).

 

 

Gays join the Truth War against Feminists

June 10, 2019

 

-1421216048411761752

“I’m a gay man. I am not a feminist. There’s a shocking statement. How could any gay man not need, want, support, affirm feminism?

What I learned surprised me. I learned that feminism was not about equality. I learned about the feminist history of hatred toward gay men. And eventually, I learned that feminism was actively engaged in a campaign that was doing to all men what others have so often done to gay men: demonize them as sexual predators and abusers in the interests of their own power and their own ideology.

Feminism wasn’t about equality: It was about bigotry.”—Matthew Lye

We couldn’t hardly believe it when our Research Robot Monkeys stumbled upon this shocking statement. We’re so shocked we’re pressed for words. How can this be? Everyone knows that gays are liberals and that feminists are liberals too—and that all liberals love gays and feminists equally. Its part of their pledge to use the Trojan Horse of gay feminism to destroy the American church by legalizing the gay feminist agenda to turn men into effeminate weak gutlesss grace girlie-men. In fact when I showed this Researchmentalism for the very article I’m writing to my co-laborer in Discernmentalism—-Dr. I. Todyaso—he exclaimed: “I hate this but most importantly I hate myself for not knowing who to hate more—but then I thought to myself what would John MacArthur (PBUH) do? Why! Point out his finger of self-righteous judgment at both groups and hate them both equally.” On the one hand—we’d like to thank the gays for helping us hate the feminists more—on the other—we’d like to thank the feminists for helping us to hate the gays more. Even-so you’re not fooling any of us as you’re not really among us Truth Warriors.

Update: Rumor has it that Dr. I. Todyaso has gone into hiding somewhere deep within our Truth Bunker upon viewing this Researchmentalism—but I could’ve sworn I heard his distinctive voice in our ODM cafeteria late last night in the afterhours as I was getting a midnight snack.

Super-Patriot Heresy Alert!!!!: Prophetic Christians are UnAmerican!

June 2, 2019

untitledcpI believe the real reason why so many professing Christians are so apathetic and indifferent to what is happening has nothing to do with the teachings of Scripture, Bible doctrine, eschatology, or anything of the like. It has everything to do with old-fashioned laziness. Today’s average Christian just flat does not want to be bothered. He has a comfortable house, an easy chair, television, and a set of golf clubs in the closet. He takes two or three weeks’ vacation every year, goes to church on Sunday (a church that does not intrude on his comfort zone, of course), pays taxes, and votes for his favorite “pro-life” Republican candidate every two years, and assumes that he is a “good” Christian and “patriotic” American. He is neither!

A real Christian patriot would never allow his country to be taken over by a gaggle of elitist goons bent on stealing his liberties–including his religious liberties–without doing everything in his power to prevent it. A real Christian patriot is active, alert, engaged, zealous, and committed to preserving liberty.

What if Jesus doesn’t come for another 100 years? Another 200 years? What are we going to say to our grandchildren when they ask us what we were doing when our freedoms and liberties were being stolen? What will we say to our Christian forebears when we meet them in eternity? They sacrificed everything so that we could live in peace and freedom. What will we say to them? What will we say to God, who handed this land of liberty to us on a silver (albeit blood-soaked) platter?

 I know unbelievers who have more character and determination about preserving liberty than many who call themselves Christians. And I have a ton more respect for them, too. Our Lord told us, “For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required” (Luke 12:48). Yes, Christians in America have been given the best of both worlds, and many do not even appreciate it enough to see to it that their own children–their own flesh and blood–will live to enjoy the same blessings. They are pathetic!

So, the next time you hear some piety-draped Christian talking about how he won’t engage the enemy and fight for liberty, because of prophecy, or some other spiritually-sounding platitude, just remember, it has nothing to do with prophecy, or anything of the sort: it has everything to do with old-fashioned laziness  My feeling toward him is the same as that of Sam Adams (a fellow Christian) toward the Tories of old:

“If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude than the animating contest for freedom–go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains sit lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen!” Amen! (Source)

How dare American Christians defer to Biblical prophecy instead of Conservative talking heads—why that is simply unbiblical! We know that when the Biblical Prophets railed against injustices it was because they were lazy and not very good Patriots by not supporting the Empire. We know that Capitalism is Biblical. We know that God would want us to use the liberty that He gave to us in our Holy Constitution to defend exploitation at all costs against those who share resources and believe in equality as sharing is socialism. Normally we would come against those who dare utter anything against Biblical Absolutes but we know only liberals are the ones truly against the Bible. Besides that we need more Super-Patriots to help us take a stand against liberals and socialism as that’s the True Bible-Believing way. We need to zealously fight for our liberty to oppress others and to fight the gaggle of elitist goons. We need our fascism Christianity as well as our Bibles draped in our Holy American Flag. We know Bonhoeffer was wrong for deferring to the Biblical prophets in opposing Nazism as John MacArthur (PBUH) has said:

“Now listen to this. It doesn’t matter whether your ruler is Caesar, Herod, Pilate, Felix, Fetus, Agrippa, Stalin, Hitler, Winston Churchill, Bill Clinton, it doesn’t matter who it is, he says be subject, you teach them to be subject.”

My co-Soldiers in the Truth War the ODMafia agree that we need more Super-Patriots among us that’s why we approve of this—-ODMafia approved….Don Jobson and Arthur McJohn endorsed

A New PSA Message from Our Conspiracy-Driven Church!:

May 22, 2019

fdr-vs-trump-gop-and-fear-itself-otherwords-cartoon

FEAR… ANGER… HATRED… AGRESSION… SUFFERING….

Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”—John Howard Yoder

“Together, these elements helped create a society in which many Americans see millions of snares, laid by a menacing group of enemies, all the more alarming for how difficult they are to identify and pin down.

Let’s pause to attempt to define a conspiracy theory. It is a belief that a small group of people are working in secret against the common good, to create harm, to effect some negative change in society, to seize power for themselves, or to hide some deadly or consequential secret. An actual conspiracy is when a small group of people are working in secret against the common good – and anyone who tells you we can always easily distinguish fictitious plots from real ones probably hasn’t read much history.

Conspiracy theories tend to flourish especially at times of rapid social change, when we are re-evaluating ourselves and, perhaps, facing uncomfortable questions in the process. In 1980, the civil liberties lawyer and author Frank Donner wrote that conspiracism reveals a fundamental insecurity about who Americans want to be versus who they are.” (Source)

We Discernmentalists are Conspiracy Theory-addicts—the more unbelievable the conspiracy the better to defend our Truth with. If your church teaches social justice—say George Soros is funding this teaching even-though it is in the Bible and Church History. Social Justice sounds too much like Socialism. If your Preacher preaches that God is love and loves the world—accuse him of preaching Universalist heresy among other heresies. Thankfully we Discernmentalists can find a conspiracy to suit our every need. We love our tin-foil hats and we love to keep them on extra tight.

And remember Conspiracy theories are I. Todyaso backed…Truthslayer and Don Jobson approved

 

Celebrities Endorsed Rob Bell’s Dr. Pepper

May 21, 2019

Gene Simmons of Kiss in the past endorsed Rob Bell’s heretical plot to use Dr. Pepper to lure unsuspecting sinners into believing God’s Love wins. Quote one of our old articles—Actual quote from Rob Bell (a heretic): “Hahaha…if I use the same colors on the book cover of Love Wins as Dr. Pepper Cherry, people will have to believe my Universalist message that Love Wins.” Ken Silva who wasn’t half the Discernmentalist that we are—failed to catch that. Thankfully though we have warned you at just how crafty the Emergent Church’s secret Agenda is!

Thankfully our Research Robot Monkeys also heard that Gene recently got saved from the Emergent hordes as he was heard weeping tears of joy at the Pentagon from hearing the good news of their war mongering. We heard he repented and started worshipping America First again—thank our Angry God! Now you may not know but elsewhere Rob Bell (a heretic) said this against our beloved America which proves him a heretic as America should never be questioned:

“Most of the Bible is a history told by people living in lands occupied by conquering superpowers. It is a book written from the underside of power. It’s an oppression narrative. The majority of the Bible was written by a minority people living under the rule and reign of massive, mighty empires, from the Egyptian Empire to the Babylonian Empire to the Persian Empire to the Assyrian Empire to the Roman Empire.

This can make the Bible a very difficult book to understand if you are reading it as a citizen of the most powerful empire the world has ever seen. Without careful study and reflection, and humility, it may even be possible to miss central themes of the Scriptures.”
Rob Bell, Jesus Wants to Save Christians: A Manifesto for the Church in Exile

You see there he’s saying Americans can’t understand the Bible—nonsense as we all know Americans (or at least Nationalists) wrote our Bible. Here’s a Trumpism for you to counteract this heresy: “We love winners. We love winners. Winners are winners.”

SBC under siege by Mothra Priestesses!

May 18, 2019

 

mothsbcattack

Actual photo of this assault by Mothra and her Priests/Priestesses!

Not a day goes by when our Truth is not under attack—this time we’re under siege by Mothra. [H/T]: The moth-eaten SBC and the women who did it. “But I am like a moth to Ephraim, and like dry rot to the house of Judah.” (Hosea 5:12).

Oh the unholy horror of this affront on our Truth—I only pray that Mrs.  Jobson doesn’t catch wind of these secret feminist doctrines or she might rebel against my divinely mandated authority again. I’ve forced Mrs. Jobson to wear a necklace made out of mothballs just in case—sure it smells funny but I told her: “listen woman this is for your own good and it helps protect the purity of our Truth.” Anyways here’s how to spot these secret feminist Mothra priestesses:

They are feminists—don’t let them tell you otherwise. Also we hear they’re not too fond of the smell of mothballs but are attracted to altar flowers. (See this link for proof).

This is the new crop of what I called Christian secret feminists- but they aren’t as secret as they were in 2012. They live a feminist life inside of Christianity but call it ministry. They are openly rebelling now.

One woman who has much to answer for about this new role is Beth Moore. She was the one who broke new ground in the Southern Baptist Convention, a most conservative denomination, in how far a woman could go in attaining celebrity status, living for her career and not for her home, and promoting gender role reversals.

She showed us how to be the main and sustained breadwinner of the family. She showed us that she could preach in a church and teach anyone in the world, uncensured. Mrs Moore, while speaking conservative values cloaked in all the right Christianese, has lived a very feminist life. (We suspect this is because of their super secret psychic cloaking powers).

We only know this because of using our Secret Cloaking Reversal Technology or SKIRT—also they are most likely to predict an oncoming Mothra attack as per our findings. We also have reason to suspect these feminist Mothra priestesses of secret Catholic leanings:

holy_mothra_godzilla

Absolute Proof. We discovered this too while using our Bible-based SKIRT (Secret Cloaking Reversal Technology).

So be warned and beware—thankfully you have lone Discernmentalists in the wilderness like us to warn you of all these threats on our Truth. At this very moment we’re working on Mothra-sized mothballs—to surround our Holy Convention and churches—and prevent these feminist Mothra priestesses unleashing even more Mothra attacks on our churches and Truth.

Under Attack by Fictional Gay Cartoon Rats!

May 15, 2019

 

 

mr-ratburn-from-arthur-came-out-as-queer-in-the-s-2-2700-1557782039-0_dblbig

Gay cartoon rats (Our Real enemies) turning kids ghey!

Now that our war with (Insert PP joke here-File Not Found) is over and we declared ourselves the winners—we can get back to focusing our discernmentalizing energies on fighting against real enemies like fictional characters such as gay cartoon rats. Yes gay cartoon rats as The Queerosexualist PC agenda has struck again our beloved Arthur threatening our hetero-marriages once again. Run…run and lock  your doors…bar your windows and hide the children. The Sanctity of our marriages are being destroyed. Our Pure marriage Doctrines are now in danger unless we come against this and forbid fictional characters from getting ghey married and exposing kids to gheybuttsecks against our Clear Teachings of it’s ickyness.

Oh the horror…the  sheer horror! I had to shield my eyes several times from the horror of that picture and out of fear of turning ghey by sight osmosis (from all the gaydiation that picture emits) while I was writing this important article. In fact Mrs. Jobson threatened to divorce me as she had thought I was looking up ghey furry porn sites—but I explained to her I was doing researchmentalism for this very urgent article that required my discernmentalism. We warned you when we already apprised you of the rabbit hole that ghey buttsecks leads to: Manimals.

You should have heeded our warning when you had the chance…now America has truly fallen since this travesty has been allowed to pollute the Purity of our airwaves. Personally Dr. Truthslayer blames the liberal Commiefied Canada’s involvement with Arthur for this assault on our Biblical marriages. Dr. I. Todyaso is now at this very moment working closely with Eric Barger inventor of Stretch Technology; Smocking Gun Technology; and co-inventor of our Gaydar on inventing a Fictional Gay Character Eraser  (Codenamed: Fig Leaf) in order to stop this menacing threat that will surely prevent us from having Hetero-marriages by turning everyone ghey.

Thankfully you have True Biblical manly-men like us to warn you of these real and present dangers contributing to the downfall of our society.

Update: [H/T]- Sadly Ken Ham beat us to the punch-line of our Discernmentalist Researchmentalism but we were working on our article first* as we are still # 1 in Discernmentalism as just like him we were totally scandalized by fiction depicting reality that we had to get this worked up about the love life of a cartoon rat all over again after having to edit in Ken’s comment:

{Edit}-

gcr

*- Proof

Update # 2: We’ve had to repent several times from staring at the unholy horror of that picture once to edit in these updates and again to post this article. We’ve all had to spend extra time in our re-sanctification closets to wash away that disgustingly dirty pic from our minds. {Edit}- We almost questioned our manhood so we had to reread Dr. I. Todyaso’s recent sermon on the manliness of beards  several times to reassure ourselves that our manhood was still intact while we were in our re-sanctification closets.

Update # 3: Suspected Sintologist Franklin Graham has now joined our Truth War against fictional gay cartoon rats. Quote: “PBS receives government funding — why should our government be financing programming that promotes behavior the Bible says is sinful?” {Edit}- Mrs. Jobson has now threatened to go stay with my Mother-in-Law after seeing that sinful picture again in my browser but I reassured her that was the last time as I needed to finish this utmost and urgently important article soon to stop the encroaching hordes of even more fictional gay cartoon rats spawning and spreading the gheyness around. Now she knows that without us Online Discernmentalists protecting society from the sin of fictional characters no one would be safe.

Obama Is UnChristian: We Have Absolute Proof—

May 15, 2019

Exposed Obama’s Musliman ties—-smocking gun:

Barakobama’s .com

Our Research Robot Monkeys stumbled upon Obama’s personal homepage back in 2010 but our signals got jammed by the CIA. We can only bring you this horror now unfortunately. We think the code hidden in the Musliman language is talking about terrorizing Trump with pizza until he’s too Yuge to fit through the White House gate. The author of this plan shared with Obama was Anonymous. This gives us all the more reason to not question it’s authenticity. Our Research Robot Monkeys are still analyzing the rest of this hideous website.

Is Anonymous Commenter (Name Withheld) Secretly Trump in Disguise?

May 13, 2019

anturny

Why else would Anonymous Commenter (Name Withheld) post an article about Trump? Why just why? His friends already know about Trump so there’s no need for him to expose Trump for all the world to see unless he was in actual fact Trump himself. In fact we see zero moral difference between Trump who makes outlandish statements to incite outrage and Anonymous Commenter (Name Withheld) that posted this outlandish anti-Trump article to incite others to be outraged with him. No difference whatsoever. If indeed Anonymous Commenter (Name Withheld) is really Trump himself then we humbly praise him for being our most Biblical and Godly President ever by giving Trump more attention—but if he is really against Trump then we Biblically curse him for unbiblically cussing Trump to give Trump more attention.