Archive for the ‘Creationism=Absolute Truth Science’ Category

Key Discernmentalists Push Scientology Agenda

August 9, 2011

Todd Friel joins Brannon Howse and John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) in pushing the Scientology Agenda

Yes that’s right and remember in the words of the famous Scientologist Discernmentalist Tom Cruise: “Psychiatrists and psycologists are worthless and only out to take your money and have an easy job. Psycology used to be called “the study of the soul” but now its not. Only Scientology God is the answer for anyones emotional, mental problems because it comes from the soul. Secular psycology wont help.“—(MaharlikaAWA 4 days ago).

I mean would you really want to ‘promote a worldview that provides a crutch for people by making them be dependent on drugs with lots of side effects‘… I mean really? We didn’t think so either—after all even Psychologists admit that Secular Psychology and Psychiatry can’t cure anyone:

So there you go Secular Psychology never helped anyone—only devoting all of our energies in devotion to God’s Absolute Sovereign Wrath and commendable hatred towards non-hyper-Calvinists will anyone be saved, cured, healed, etc. While you’re at it please join us in our Absolute Truth War against Secular Medical Science aka Gnosticism.  And remember:

Advertisements

New Quick And Painless Way

June 27, 2011

To Remove Jesus From Your Heart:

Have you ever asked Jesus into your heart? What about accepting Jesus as the Lord and Savior of your life? Or receiving Jesus to fill your God-shaped hole? Is Jesus more important to you than any other religious leader? If you answered yes to any of the following—congratulations you’re not even a Real and True Christian and most likely worship Satan, the Pope or Mary as your dark lord and master a False Convert.

If you have found that you were rated a False Convert—never fear Todd Friel with Brannon Howse’s help have introduced a new quick and pain-free way to reverse your status and make sure that you become a True Convert this time around. Introducing the new surgical procedure to surgically remove Jesus from False Converts’ hearts: Operation JesuScopic Surgery! Why let Jesus fool around in your heart when you can have your heart filled with the Puritan Hard Drive (PHD)—now with twice the amount of John Owen’s fatalistic arrogance!

Phil Johnson And Hugh Jass Film Productions Present…

August 5, 2010

Not to be outdone by Discovery Channel’s Shark  Week’s ratings grabs, Phil Johnson and Hugh Jass Film Productions cash-in with the newest Summer Blockbuster Discernmentalist hit: Attack OF The SEMI-PELAGIANS starring the United Methodist Church. The creatures known as Semi-Pelagians are semi-aquatic animals that are half Augustinian and half Pelagian and are mostly found in Arminian churches most notably the United Methodist Church. The Semi-Pelagians soon begin revolting and attacking the semi-Donatist faith of Discernmentalism prompting our hero Phil Johnson aka Pastor Hugh Jass and his loyal crew to discernmentalize them. Attack OF The SEMI-PELAGIANS: coming soon to a Discernmentalist TV station near you!

New Discernmentalist School Opened

February 23, 2010

Together Ken Silva  and Tim Challies have opened up a  new Discernmentalist Learning Center to teach the following Discernmentalist skills:

  1. How to know someone’s true beliefs by osmosis
  2. Comment Deleting
  3. Arrogance
  4. Self-Righteousness
  5. Discernmentalist math skills
  6. Uncomprohensive reading skills
  7. How  to write doom and gloom Discernmentalist articles
  8. Discernmentalist “study” skills
  9. Advanced mis-reading skills
  10. Discernmentalist test preparation

Phil Johnson and his Hugh Jass as well as our own Dr. I. Todyaso recommend the Ken Silvan Discernmentalist Learning Center for  all your Discernmentalist educational needs.

ZOEINCARNATE’S Evil And Blasphemous Heresies

November 23, 2009

First, we are concerned with ZOEINCARNATE’S absurd notion that “God is a recovering practitioner of violence.” We agree with our fellow Absolute Truth Warrior and Discernmentalist John 14:6 :

Your blasphemy and those of your ilk apparently knows no bounds.

“By this he means that God used to think violence was a good idea, but then gave up on it.”

Are you people serious? What God is this that you claim to follow? A fallible deity who learns from his own mistakes!

Repent of these heretic, man-centered imaginations!

An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, — Proverbs 6:18

Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; — 2 Cor 10:5

Strawman do not position make. Funny how quoting the Bible leads heretics to the accusation that “you alone know blah blah blah”.

It has nothing to do with me. It has everything to do with Holy Scripture. To even entertain the idea that God is a “recovering” anything promotes a position of fallibility to the INFALLIBLE. That is heresy.

You are the created, lest you forget. And you are seeking to assign human frailties and shortcomings to the Creator. That is, also, heresy. God is not like you, get over it.

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. – Isa 55:8

Holy God recovers from nothing. His ways are not our ways. Humble yourself and repent for this heretical thinking.

How many more times will emergents, liberals, and progressive hid behind “cast the first stone”. Are you to utter this to Holy God when you stand before Him? What will you say then, when all your noble thinking, philosophy, and bludgeoning of God’s Holy Word are laid before you and you are found guilty?

I pray for all of you amazing lost people. You truly are promoting high things that exalt themselves against the knowledge of God. Does Scripture tells us God “recovered” from violence? It does not, so put this thought away and repent.

We also pray for Mike Morrell‘s unregenerate and non-elect reprobated soul—we pray that God’s Absolute Sovereign Glory is shown when Mike gets cast away like all those other heretics, sinners and unsaved non-Elect heathens:

We also assert the Biblical Truth that God’s very nature is violence against sinners, for God hates sinners with a holy passion. In fact, He hates them so much that He chose from the foundation of the world to only save  Johh CalvinJohn MacArthur, some other guys named JohnPhil Johnson, Al Mohler, Charles Spurgeon, James White, Todd Friel, Will Kinney and 137,000 other Elected and Predestined Calvinist saints including we of God’s Only Inerrant Party and the Online Discernmentalist Mafia—the rest of humanity then is going to hell because God chose to destroy them before even creating humanity.

Also we wish to point out these 9 other propositions of Biblical Absolute Truths that we know with Absolute Certainty:

1. God never changes. (Malachi 3:6)

2. Therefore God never changes His mind about anything. [ie. Law vs. Grace, Old vs. New Covenants, repented that He made humanity, promised no more Noah type floods, sacrifice vs. mercy, walks with Adam and Eve in Eden vs. unseen in Heaven vs. incarnated Jesus vs. the unseen Risen Lord Jesus of faith, etc. (Genesis 6:6;  Gen. 9:8-17; Hosea 6:6, Matthew 9:13, Matthew 12:7; etc).

3. As change sounds too much like evilution.

4. Therefore change is evil in and of itself

5. As all is Absolute, black and white and in stone.

6. Evilution is a human invention.

7. So therefore God has nothing whatsoever to do with humanity not even in His incarnated form (the fully human-fully God—Jesus).

8. Also God is Absolute.

9. And therefore has nothing whatsoever to do with change aka. evilution.

We also agree with John 14:6 ‘s namesake: “I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” Indeed we are not  the way, the truth, and the life: so that no man cometh unto the Father, but by us and our discernmentalizations, for we hold the Absolute Truth the King James Bible AV1611 in our hands (instead of God/Jesus the Absolute Truth holding us in His hands). Therefore since we do not hold  the Absolute Truth in our hands, we do not have the rite/right to judgementalize others who do not hold to our opinions of truth the Absolute Truth, ‘for we  alone have a direct line to God in the King James Bible AV1611—the literal words and mind of God. For the King James Bible AV1611 is literally Jesus/God:  

We alone do not have the one true interpretation of scripture as first established by our Final Prophet John Calvin—the perfect exegete whose fruits were nothing but Pure. Afterall, John Calvin is not the Holy Spirit incarnate—the Advocate and Comforter promised in the Bible—the final word on all Christianity:

The doctrine of the work of the Holy Spirit is a gift from John Calvin to the Church of Christ.  He did not, of course, invent it. The whole of it lay spread out on the pages of Scripture with a clearness and fullness of utterance which one would think would secure that even he who ran should read it; and doubtless he who ran did read it, and it has fed the soul of the true believer in all ages.

We alone—the True Chosen Elect of God are not Pure enough in our ontological certainty to go casting the first stone and hurling accusations of missives and discernmentalizations that  correct and refute the errors of non-blasphemy and non-heresy.’

The Look Of A Heretic Or How To Spot A Liebral

November 19, 2009

We’ve shown you the look of a discernmentalist. Now we present to you—with our Absolute Truthiness—the look of a heretic. Now you will be able to tell when a liebral is in your vicinity trying to corrupt your Pure Doctrines. Our resident Redneck GOIPer has more to add with his 9 Steps To Identify Liberals:

I have already stated that liberals are killing this country, but it is quite hard to tell a liberal from a normal God Loving American. I have developed this simple system to help us weed out the good guys from the bad guys (liberals). I call it my Liberal Identification System (LIS).

1. Minorities. Don’t ask me why, but the vast majority of niggersblacks and chinksasians vote Democrat, and therefore they are making their liberal bias known to the rest of the world. I have talked to them, but these people are just plain stupid! They cannot understand for example the greatness of the war in Iraq, and are focused on WMD rather than the larger plan. So point one in the Liberal Identification System is to write off minorities as liberals. They are really not worth our time. After all, there is a reason that the founding fathers made the White House white.

2. French. French people are probably some of the most arrogant and ungrateful people in the world. They would speaking German right now it it were not for us. And how do they pay us back? They defied Saint Bush in the run up for the Iraqi War. It is unbelievable to me that after 5 years after the war began, they still cannot see the wisdom of the war. French people must be blind or stupid, but either way, one thing is clear, they are liberals.

3. People with accents. I just got back from Europe, and they all tried to speak to me in English. Despite their efforts, their English was HORRIBLE. They really need to practice more if they ever want to get in good with me and other conservatives. Plus you know that God speaks English perfectly. Heck, I don’t even think that God can understand some of these retard Europeans.

When I was in the airports in Europe, I noticed one thing right away. You don’t have to remove your shoes at airport security. These people are clueless. Removing our shoes is like a ritual to fight away terrorists and evil. It is a communion against terrorism. Since we have started removing our shoes at the airport, has there been another 9/11? Case closed. I felt like teaching them the American way, but I knew they would never understand. Why? Because they are all liberals.

4. College Professors. This is a special and perhaps the most dangerous breed of liberals because they are educating our young people. That’s the scary part. They devise these wicked curriculums, and the underlying goal is to get young people to think and use logic undermining key Republican and conservative ideals

Think about this. Many of Saint Bush’s economic advisers come from American universities. And these liberals are piping the same old lies. Our economy is in recession, the dollar is weak, the price of oil is rising, and federal spending is out of control. It makes me laugh. We all know the truth. Our economy is strong, the dollar is strong, price of gas is falling, and Saint Bush’s government is the most frugal in the world. There is only one conclusion to make. College professors are liberals.

5. Charities. Is there any doubt that Bill Gates is a liberal? He quits his day job to give away his money to improve world health. This is such a stupid idea I am not sure where to start. If I had that kind of dough, I would stop working so I could have more time to spend it. I really wish that Gates had called me, because I could have found a lot more fun ways to spend his money.

Worse yet. World health? I have already demonstrated that non Americans are liberals. So why in the world would we want to help them? In a subtle way, Gates is aiding the enemy by helping non Americans. Ultimately, Gates will get his punishment, but either way, charities such as these are chock full of bleeding heart liberals. They are probably the worst kind.

6. Non Christians – God doesn’t like non Christians and God does not like liberals either. Don’t you see that the two go together? God sent down his one and only son to save the world, and these non Christians are choosing to ignore God’s generosity. There is only one place for these people in God’s eyes, and in my eyes too.

7. Immigrants. Just another bunch of free loading poor people that don’t speak English. They want us to treat them as equals. HAHAHA. Fat chance, hermano. You guys need to go back to your disgusting little country, enter legally, get a legal American job, learn English, pay taxes, and maybe just maybe, we will treat you with a certain level of respect. Furthermore, any sign that you also might be a liberal, and your butt is out of here. Got that, Pedro?

8. Writers. What does the liberal media consist of? Writers. Lots of them. I know this is a slippery slope, because not all writers are liberals, but almost all of them are. It is a fair bet that if someone is writing a piece and it is not for Fox News, then they are feeding the liberal media machine. If it were not for the liberal media, our soldiers would be home, and the war of terror would be won. The war of terror is a war of emboldenment, and every slimy piece they write further emboldens the enemy. Remember Abu Ghraib? Of course you do, and so do the terrorist. What about Guantanomo Bay? The liberal media keeps on printing this stuff, and we will never win the war on terror, and our children will never be safe.

9. Hollywood. We have a dilemma as conservatives. I like my action movies as much as the next guy, but the people behind these films are liberals with a capital L. I have actually considered boycotting movies but it just isn’t any fun, even though every time I know that I am putting more money in a liberal’s pocket. Why can’t someone come out with some great movies by conservatives? Enough is enough already.

After having traveled Europe, there is one thing that is clear. The world is full of liberals. So this is just a humble beginning at weeding out the good people from the bad. God’s job is much easier figuring out who does to heaven or hell.

Typical Liebrals Attacking Our Pure Inerrant And Infallible Bible

November 7, 2009

WToon1

[H/T] http://conservapedia.com/images/1/1d/WToon1.png

Codename ACSBLOP *(Augustine Calvin Spurgeon Black Letters of Paul)* Unveiled

November 6, 2009

GOIPSHEALDILogo

Introducing The Strategic Heretical Emergent Arminian & Liberal Defense Initiative or (SHEALDI) for short otherwise known as Codename ACSBLOP *(Augustine Calvin Spurgeon Black Letters of Paul)* or also known by it’s better known nickname ‘Heresy Wars/Absolute Truth Wars‘—now available and on the market from GOIP Labs. This top secret project has been in the making for several years now. Here is our Political Messiah, Final President and the Last Real President, Ronald Reagan with myself (Don Jobson) going over our top secret plans:

donjobsonwithronaldreagan

Final President Reagan with myself about to deliver the March 23, 1983 speech initiating SHEALDI. I was 19 years old then.

[Editors’ note: You’ve heard of those heathen Sedevacantists—well, we are Sedewhitehousists, because Jesus believed in the political gospel of Reaganism otherwise known as Reaganomics and elected Regan the last Political Messiah for God’s Chosen and Ordained Nation that’s why we belong to the FCCSORR (Fundamentalist Calvinist Christian Society Of Ronald Reagan).]

Anyways, part of our plan is to fire Missives packed full of the Pure Doctrines of Saint Augustine and our Final Prophet John Calvin, the Pure Sermons of Charles Spurgeon and the words of Paul directly into our comments as a ‘preemptive strike’ against Emergent attacks on our Absolute Truth comments—and for those times when those evil Emergents  hijack our comments by inserting heretical, communist or other non-Christian words such as ‘comrade’  into our comments to make it look as if we aren’t truly regenerate and of God’s True Elect.

KenSilvaSpurgeonMissive

A Ken Silva Approved Spurgeon Missive.

Here is the genius part of our glorious plan—once these Missives are shot off they will provide a  web of Absolute Truth protection cover over all of us Discernmentalists to keep all of our Absolute Truth comments safe and Pure:

AbsoluteTruthMissivenet

Absolute Truth Mighty Fortress Missive Net packed full of Augustine, Calvin, Spurgeon and the Black Letters of Paul.

In case ye are wondering what the texts of our net say because ye are unregenerate—they read:

1 Timothy 2:10-15 (King James Version)

 10But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.

 11Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.

 12But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.

 13For Adam was first formed, then Eve.

 14And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.

 15Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.

1 Corinthians 6:9-10 (King James Version)

 9Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,

 10Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

God’s Wrath on Unrighteousness

18 For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth. 19 For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. 20 For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse. 21 For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. 22 Claiming to be wise, they became fools, 23 and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things.

24 Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves, 25 because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen.

26 For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; 27 and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error.—Romans 1:18-27 ESV.

Ephesians 5:22-24 (King James Version)

 22Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

 24Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

 That is the ACSBLOP or Appostate attacks on our Absolute Truth Comments Sheild-BLOcking Program part of our SHEALDI project—the other part includes our Space Laser Program otherwise known as DPDEWW or Direct Pure Doctrines Energy Wave Weapon. Here is a photo taken from GOIP Eye 2 which we thankfully retrieved before those evil Emergents blew up GOIP Eye 2:

Direct Pure Doctrines Energy Wave Weapon

* In case ye are spiritually blind the bottom reads: All Discernmentalists and their Absolute Truth comments saved from the attacks upon us being waged across the world by all of our enemies—those unbelieving heathens–especially those evil Emergents.

DPDEWW  operates by a GOIP MIRACL beam director–pictured below:

goipmiracl

Me operating DPDEWW.

DPDEWW also runs on Sound Doctrine Indicating Operative technology which is also called Laser Operating Apostate Chaser Enhanced Engine or SDIO-LOACEE for short. Here we are putting the finishing touches on our SDIO-LOACEE:

SDIO-LOACEE

Dr. I. Todyaso and Will Farel XV assist me in the preparation of our SDIO-LOACEE.

Another part of our industrious project  is the Emergent Reflector Sound Doctrine Missive Impure Doctrines Deflector or ERSDMIDD. Here is a picture of how ERSDMIDD works:

ERSDMIDD

ERSDMIDD takes Emergent and impure doctrines and beams  them back at our enemies while also leaving our Sound Doctrines Pure. It also beams Sound Doctrines directly into our enemies’ brains in a last attemptive effort of teaching them our ways the Absolute Truth. Another of our Missives that runs on Sound Doctrine Indicating Operative (SDIO) technology is our SDIO-Delta Star or our SDIO Missive Emegent-cy Defense System. Here Ken Silva fires off one of our SDIO-Delta Star missives SDIO-Delta Star II ironically codenamed ‘Ken Silva:’

sdiodeltastar2-kensilva

GOIP Missive Defense Against antichrists and apostate Christians.

The main part of SHEALDI is our Satellite Defense Network to prevent  evil Emergent signals from crossing streams with our Pure signal streams and hijacking our Absolute Truth comments. Here is our SHEALDI Satellite Defense Network at work:

SHEALDI Satellite Network

The results are shown below:

SHEALDIdamage

Putting together all of our complex and convoluted simple project—you’ll never have to worry about evil Emergents hijacking and hacking into your Pure Absolute Truth comments by inserting heretical, communist or other non-Christian words into them such as ‘comrade’ ever again.

Before SHEALDI:

EmergentHijackedComment

The recent Emergent attack on Truthslayer’s computer by hijacking his comment to me and inserting a communist word into it to make it look as if he isn’t truly regenerate and of God’s True Elect as he “didn’t write ‘comrade’ as a matter of fact that word does not exist in (our) discernmentalist dictionary.”

After SHEALDI:

SHEALDIfiedComment

What things will be like from now on now that we have initiated SHEALDI  on all of our and our fellow Discernmentalists’ computers.

And that is all:

Recording of the applause from the recent Convention of Discernmentalists after SHEALDI was unveiled and set up by GOIP Labs.

The Emergent Perversion Of The YMCA…

November 2, 2009

emergentymca

Those evil Emergents have infiltrated the YMCA teaching our children impure doctrines like the Stations of the Cross on Good Friday. We GOIPers are appalled—how dare those evil Emergents outrage a fine actor  and morally superior Hollywood star like Kirk Cameron:

Even Ken Silva is enraged at those Emergents perverting the YMCA and you should be too.

Death To Socialism

November 2, 2009

briannocommies

Our GOIP Bot 3000 has just discernmentalized a wonderful list outlining some of our Master Plan—here it is:

  1. End Medicaid, Medicare and the VA. This was a liberal plan to simply redistribute wealth from the rich to the needy. These plans are both expensive and unsustainable and the time is now to cut the plug. If you are elderly or a veteran, then you are on your own. If you have enough wealth, then go get your own health plan. However if you cannot afford a health plan, then consider yourself a leach on society. You are dragging down this great country.
  2. End Public Schools. Obama just got on television and delivered a message to all the children in public schools in the nation. How wrong is that? The president has no business talking to our children. All he wants to do is spread his liberal agenda to their innocent minds. There is only one solution to all of this. All children should be home schooled. Also the wealthy can send their children to expensive private schools, but the inexpensive public schools are just a burden on society.
  3. End Unemployment Insurance. Unemployment insurance is just wrong. It is redistribution of wealth in its purest form. I am supposed to give my hard earned tax money to some retard that can’t even hold a job? Give me a break. They can always get a job at McDonald’s or picking up the trash. This is just a way of rewarding laziness, and it needs to come to a full stop, now!
  4. Private Roads. Where in the constitution does it say that our government is responsible for creating roads? No where. All roads should be private, and the better road the more it should cost. There are plenty of poor people that may not be able to afford to travel on the better roads, and I have one response. Tough crap! Now that you don’t have unemployment insurance, maybe you will have more motivation to finally get a job.
  5. End Air Traffic Control. Do we really need our government controlling our air ways? The entire system is probably corrupt, and should be eliminated. Liberals will argue that air traffic control makes air travel safer. How stupid! All it does it drives up the cost. We need to make air travel more affordable and the first step is eliminating air traffic control.
  6. Burn Down All The Libraries. I know one thing for sure. Libraries would not exist if not for liberals. Now that Obama’s approval ratings are falling off a cliff, let’s get rid of one of the bastions of liberalism, libraries. That will show them. If people want to read, then they can buy their own books. Why can’t liberals understand that simple fact?
  7. No More Taxes. The beautiful part of my plan is that we no longer need to pay taxes. Even some good conservative people like to read a good book once in a while, but is it really worth our freedom? I for one am going to stop paying taxes immediately and then hopefully the Chosen One, Barack Hussein Obama, will follow my simple plan to eliminate socialism in our lifetime. I encourage all my readers to stop paying taxes as a protest to socialism.

Young-Socialist-1905

We  would also like to add in outlawing Sunday School as Sunday School is a communist plot to decieve God’s True Elect into accepting socialism—for Sunday School was invented by ‘Robert Raikes, editor of the Gloucester Journal and (a theological liebral), who saw the need to prevent children in the slums descending into crime.’  This is nothing but the false gospel of socialism and ‘that old line of liberalism’ otherwise known as the Social Gospel as Saint John MacArthur clearly exposes:

We also plan on making Fundamentalist Calvinistic Christianity the only legalized religion and all others illegal.