Archive for March, 2020

Toilet Paper Shortage scheme of the Even Deeper State

March 28, 2020

 

A Conspiracy Theory about Conspiracy Theorists

pink poo_LRGPooAnon break wind: our deep undercover researchmentalist expertmentalists have uncovered shocking secrets. In hidden documents created by the Even Deeper State it was revealed that QAnon and Trump plotted a toilet paper shortage scheme to distract the public from their nefarious activities. In newly leaked documents it was uncovered that Trump is working for the Even Deeper State aka the Mole People and that the funder of the Mole People are the Mooch Brothers who also pay QAnon who are all undercover actors working for the Even Deeper State as led by Yuri A. Nuz and Yura Rek Tum.

These expertmentalists have traced this scheme via factual charts:

Untitled

The reason for toilet paper is because Mole People needed it to ward off the Lizard People who left chem trails in their radiated water. This all makes  sense and is totally true because the  Lamestream Media refuses to report these FACTS.

thFB1HDZLG

When this all blows over will Trump be charged? Including the FACT that he had Jim Henson put to death with help from UFOs. This is all TRUE because the Lamestream Media refuses to report it.

 

trump-ufo

A totally real photo, not photoshopped nor made up. The Media doesn’t want you to see it.

John MacArthur (PBUH) to re-release Poop Wars: Fighting for Superstitions; Incoherence and Irrelevancy against Emergents; Liberals; Atheist Arminians; Chaotic Charismatics and Catholic Scientists in an Age of Scientific Fact and Reason

March 13, 2020

0205a00deb931866a53bfb6d015b1565

Never to shy away from controversy our fearless Pope of all Truth over the Truth War (TPUT) decides to re-release his book Poop Wars amidst the toilet paper shortage as a warning to America to turn back to what the Bible aka his Holy Doctrines (PBUT) teach. In one of his sermons from the book (TPUI) he exposits (as God only recognizes expository sermons as topical preaching is too liberal and clearly not PURELY REFORMED enough): America needs to repent from using toilet paper—lest we fall into the angry hand of our Sovereign God before the Rapture—MY Schofield-inspired STUDY bible is Absolutely CLEAR!

Our Holy Sovereign Creator, God of Wrath, is most pleased when we (the Elect) obey and submit to the Orthodox Doctrine of the Holy Pooping as clearly laid out in His Holy Inerrant and Infallible Word. When the Israelites obeyed our God of Wrath not love (Theological liberals want to delude you into thinking God is a lovey dovey inclusive God of let’s hold hands and sing kumba-yah but the Bible is clear on this matter when it says: “God is an all consuming fire, a God of Vengeful Wrath and no respecter of persons”) by defecating outside, they gave God the glory by defecating in a holy manner.
One other thing I would like to say to Bible-minded Christians is to remain Bibliocentric and hold onto Biblical Integrity, one ought to confront all Christians living in the sin of using toilet paper as toilet paper was invented by Pagan Chinese, who worshipped false gods and not our God of Wrath as Revealed in the Inerrant and Infallible Holy Bible. Also, paper itself was invented by Pagan Egyptians to inscribe their demonic and blasphemous scriptures to their false gods, in their dark, morally and spiritually corrupt religious practices—so that if the Elect falls prey to the sin of using toilet paper, they in affect may be welcoming in false gods (disguised as seducing demons) into their lives. So as we can see using toilet paper is an unholy sin of humanistic pride against our Divine Sovereign God of Wrath, who in His Absolute Sovereignty created (6000 years ago in 6 literal days) our hands, wool, lace or hemp, wood shavings, leaves, grass, hay, stone, sand, moss, water, snow, maize husks, fruit skins, or seashells, and corn cobs for us to use to clean our anuses. Toilet paper then is for that old line of theological liberals, evolutionists, secular humanists and atheistic communists and not True Bible-Believing Christians.

Sharon Whitley agrees and reminds the Elect that using toilet paper is as unbiblical and Popish Pagan as the false worship of those Romish holidays of Christmas and Easter. Clearly the road to idolatry and statue worship!  So remember:

Wipe your ass with soft paper from a roll/And to hell lose your very soul /Wipe your ass with rough leaves and grass/Please our loving Sovereign hate-filled God of ABSOLUTE WRATH!

In other news: MacArthur (TPUH)’s son is being investigated for fraud.

Mark MacArthur, a son of Pastor John MacArthur of Grace Community Church in California, has been charged by the Securities and Exchange Commission along with a wealth management company he founded with defrauding their advisory clients.

BM Culture Farts Again

March 9, 2020

86k0Bfk

Political sickness is a correctness. PS culture strikes again as for the first time, the name Muhammad has cracked the top 10 list of most popular baby names for newborn boys in the U.S., according to a parenting website that tracks the popularity of names among its users. Discernmentalists declare: this is how we get Shania’s law. Quote: “This is not a good sign. Unless people hope to have Shania law in the USA one day.”

El Sandi adds:

So how is this not desecrating his name and doesn’t have people running around with guns and bombs denouncing it? Seems to me when someone makes a drawing of him, they go nuts. How is this any different? What if it is an ugly baby? What if it is a boy who decides he is a girl – female Muhammads?