Archive for the ‘Jonny Mac—"that old line of liebralism"’ Category

Gays join the Truth War against Feminists

June 10, 2019

 

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“I’m a gay man. I am not a feminist. There’s a shocking statement. How could any gay man not need, want, support, affirm feminism?

What I learned surprised me. I learned that feminism was not about equality. I learned about the feminist history of hatred toward gay men. And eventually, I learned that feminism was actively engaged in a campaign that was doing to all men what others have so often done to gay men: demonize them as sexual predators and abusers in the interests of their own power and their own ideology.

Feminism wasn’t about equality: It was about bigotry.”—Matthew Lye

We couldn’t hardly believe it when our Research Robot Monkeys stumbled upon this shocking statement. We’re so shocked we’re pressed for words. How can this be? Everyone knows that gays are liberals and that feminists are liberals too—and that all liberals love gays and feminists equally. Its part of their pledge to use the Trojan Horse of gay feminism to destroy the American church by legalizing the gay feminist agenda to turn men into effeminate weak gutlesss grace girlie-men. In fact when I showed this Researchmentalism for the very article I’m writing to my co-laborer in Discernmentalism—-Dr. I. Todyaso—he exclaimed: “I hate this but most importantly I hate myself for not knowing who to hate more—but then I thought to myself what would John MacArthur (PBUH) do? Why! Point out his finger of self-righteous judgment at both groups and hate them both equally.” On the one hand—we’d like to thank the gays for helping us hate the feminists more—on the other—we’d like to thank the feminists for helping us to hate the gays more. Even-so you’re not fooling any of us as you’re not really among us Truth Warriors.

Update: Rumor has it that Dr. I. Todyaso has gone into hiding somewhere deep within our Truth Bunker upon viewing this Researchmentalism—but I could’ve sworn I heard his distinctive voice in our ODM cafeteria late last night in the afterhours as I was getting a midnight snack.

JMac caught preaching unBiblically

May 16, 2019

We almost couldn’t believe our eyes—could it really be that the Pope of all Truth has erred? Proof:

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We almost forgot for a moment that our Pope is exempt from following the Doctrines he places over others. The evangelical culture—including churches and religious media—has for years moved away from preaching. Some experts claim there is nothing sacred about traditional preaching, so why not change to please the tastes of society? Wouldn’t congregations be better served by methods more in step with the times?

While that rationale may sound spiritual and completely reasonable, it actually puts churches on precarious ground. The potential for disaster is real. You need to be concerned. And as our Pope himself preaches that the only True mode of preaching is Expository not Topical:

You know, one of the things that’s become apparent to me as you just kind of keep your ear to the ground and watch what’s going on in terms of theology today is that expositors never come out of institutions with a low view of Scripture…never. Liberals make terrible Bible expositors…in fact, they don’t make them at all simply because they do not believe there’s anything significant about the terms, so why bother to deal with the terms. But it isn’t only the liberals that concern me in that dimension, I think that even evangelicals and fundamentalists have the same problem. We would say that liberals attack the authority of Scripture in a head-on attack. They deny it. They want to deal with a different level of inspiration, whether it’s the inspiration of someone’s thought or whether it’s the existential approach that if it zaps you somewhere then that’s inspired for you, or whatever approach they take that’s less than verbal plenary inspiration. The result of all of that is that there are no real significances attached to the terms themselves, so they don’t bother to deal in an expository manner. They talk in broad generalities.

But it’s amazing to me also that even evangelicals do the same thing. Recently I, and I’ve done this a couple of times, but when I was giving some messages along this line to a group of pastors, I said “The liberals attack the Bible by denying its truth,” you know, and you can hear the “amens” ripple across the room. And I said, “And then the people who have sort of flipped out on the experiential end and on the Charismatic end and have taken those things to excess, they come along and say…Well, Jesus said to me…or I had a vision…or God spoke to me…or the Lord showed me what this meant.” And what they’re doing really is adding their own experience, their own revelations, their own visions to the Bible and in so doing that they undermine the authority of Scripture, too, and it becomes just as important to for them to teach their experiences as it does to teach the Bible. And so, the purity of expository preaching is watered down. And also what invariably happens is in that particular movement you wind up with a tremendous freedom to use the Bible almost as a creative instrument, it’s almost like a paint brush. You can use it to paint anything you want. You can make verses say whatever you want them to say. You can be very fanciful. You can be very allegorical because your experiences and your feelings and your emotions and your intuitions and your visions and your revelations are substantively the equivalent of Scripture.

And then you have, of course, the evangelical and the fundamental people who would die for the absolute authority of Scripture but they get up week after week in their pulpits and never delineate its principles. And in my judgment, that’s the worst of all because to him that knoweth to do good and doeth it not, to him it is sin. I mean, we know that every word is pure, right? And if we don’t deal in an expository manner with the Word of God, then we’re denying the precept of the Bible itself, that it is in fact in every word the Word of God. And so the greater sin is at the door of the evangelical who affirms this high view of Scripture but number one, doesn’t believe that he should be involved in an expository ministry, or number two, is involved in exposition in a superficial non-diligent way. You can’t treat Scripture like that. If you’re going to do it, you’ve got to get in and be diligent.

We’re surprised the Mighty Hugh Jass Phil Johnson hasn’t covered up this mistake of our inerrant Pope like when he attacked his Truth. Even the late Ken Silva almost turned against the Pope of the Truth War. So remember to preach expositionally instead of topically like Spurgeon preached unless of course you’re the Pope over Truth.

Holding all to the Standard of their Doctrines,

Don Jobson

 

Dr. I. Todyaso of ODMafia fame called to fact check Babylon Bee

May 7, 2019

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Daily Bunker ODMs Express— Our very own Dr. I. Todyaso named Head Researcher and Fact Checker for Babylon Bee after they pledged to support us in being #1 in Absolute Truth; Alt-facts; journalism and Fake News in Discernmentalism. Quote: “We look forward to our new partnership in helping us spread our Truth War Pope’s Absolute Truth (PBUI) to more people and helping us fight the good fight in lying; slandering as well as falsely accusing others of heresy by spreading misinformation and made up quotes about them. Before the Babylon Bee there was only us and our mentor the late Ken Silva—we were lone voices in the wilderness calling out all those sliding off the True Path set before us by Calvin; purified by the Puritans and perfected by our Pope John MacArthur (PBUH). We’d like to think we taught the Bee everything we know.”—Dr. I. Todyaso of the Online Discernmentalist Mafia.

Will this match be made in heaven? We can only hope so as more people need to be exposed to the Purity of Discernmentlism’s Doctrines. Certainly the Babylon Bee and the ODMafia share the same sense of humor Doctrinal Clarity in common as this news report of theirs makes clear:

John MacArthur, pastor of Grace Community Church and president of The Master’s College and Seminary, has made a lofty promise to his congregation. He has reportedly committed to building a 20-foot thick, 30-foot high concrete wall around the entire perimeter of the church campus in order to keep out charismatics that might otherwise infiltrate their ranks.

“I will build a great wall, God willing. And I’ll build it very biblically. I will build a great, great wall all around our campus—and I’ll make the Pentecostals pay for it. Mark my words,” MacArthur was quoted as saying Friday.

—Tyrone V. Hoofendorfer for the Online Discernmentalist Mafia on Daily Bunker ODMs Express.

Brian McLaren declares the Kingdom of God is here and now!

April 27, 2019

Absolute Truth from the Pope of our Truth War (PBUH)

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I just read Brian McLaren and the Gospel of Here & Now by Greg Gilbert and he points out that Brian Mclaren is preaching a Gospel that states that the Kingdom is “Here and Now”.

And I say how perverse of a Gospel is that!?! We know that the Truly Anointed Preacher/Pastor/Teacher/ of the Only True and Faithful Gospel, John MacArthur states the Kingdom is “only spiritual now and will come in the future” which is stated in the video post at CRN. Listen carefully as he carefully picks apart Brian and then sets us all straight that “the Kingdom of God is not here and now” but “in the future and only spiritual” and is all about getting people into heaven.

How dare anyone pervert the gospel and say we should live as Kingdom people here and now. These “emergents” and their sick social (we want justice) gospel that wants to feed the…

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Pope Pyro the First says: “Education Smeducation!”

April 20, 2019

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Our Illustrious Infallible Grand Poobah the Most Inerrant Most Holy Pope Pyro I aka John MacArthur (PBUH) decrees: “Education smeducation…students keep your mouth shut…I am the Master and you barely worthy to sit at my anointed feet of discernmentalism…I have no need of degrees as  I already know all Truth. Did Paul have a  degree? Did Spurgeon? For I was personally appointed by God to lead the Truth War and spread disimformation slander discernmentalism. I know all Truth and history as I was there.”

Elsewhere Phil Johnson aka Hugh Jass noted that our Holy mecca Vatican school University of Discernmentalism is under attack:

Pastor John MacArthur has described the probation of his Master’s University and Seminary by an accrediting agency as an “orchestrated” attack, possibly by Satan, and directed students to keep quiet about the controversy.

A Nov. 29 report from the Chronicle of Higher Education published an audio recording of an hourlong sermon from August wherein the 79-year-old Reformed pastor told the student body that their accreditor’s actions amounted to an effort “orchestrated, if not by humans, by Satan himself.”

MacArthur also told students not to ask questions about the accreditation issues, they had no right to learn the details, and that it was not their responsibility.

“There are things that God hates, right?” he said, referencing Proverbs 6. “One of them is the one who stirs up strife,” he said, urging students to keep their complaints within the university and seminary.

“Keep your mouth shut,” MacArthur told them.

“Don’t stir up strife. You don’t know the whole story.”

Phoenix Considers ‘Sin Tax’ On Young, Restless & Reformed Churches

April 18, 2019

(From the front-lines of the Truth War)- Frequenters of Phoenix strip clubs aka Young, Restless & Reformed Church-goers might be paying a little more than usual in the future. That’s because of a potential “sin tax,” first proposed to the city government by John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) on Tuesday. The tax would be imposed on establishments including strip club, tattoo parlors, and escort services, and other places that the Young, Restless & Reformed Movement (YRR) frequent to hold their “church” services reported Phil Johnson of Hugh Jass News.

Our Research Robot Monkeys reached YRR Guru Mark Driscoll of Mars Hill Church for comment on this proposal—he said: “Rats….garbled language….*censored for filthy language*….now I may not be able to continue practicing my Pornographic Divination.”

Typical YRR heathen response: “Smoking and drinking are so much cooler than obeying the rules against such in the bible given to us by the Sovereign decrees of our God of wrath. Besides Spurgeon was a Christian hedonist too so he would be cool with us smoking doobies; drinking hooch and using locker room talk to prove how much cooler than our Ruling Elders and more countercultural than carnal Pagan we are.” Nonsense. That’s why we must be ever discernmentalizing and concernmentalizing. The Truth War still rages on.

Smells like ‘Emergent Spirit!’

April 18, 2019

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Don’t be shocked when many “Christians” cheer the criminalization of Christianity. The number of supposedly Christian individuals whose moral compasses are calibrated to the spirit of the age rather than the authority of scripture has become astounding. 

The Emergent spirit

of this age includes:

 

  1. Attacks on the Bible’s words about CAPTALISM
  2. Ignorance of the Reformers’ PRO-CAPITALIST VIEWS
  3. Insistence on helping the poor
  4. Support of Pro-Abortionism
  5. Anti-War views/Unpatriotic behavior
  6. Anti-American Nationalism views
  7. A Pro-Social Justice bent
  8. Support of the gay agenda aka Sodomy
  9. Religious Liberty for non-Orthodox Calvinists
  10. Views against discernmentalists’ judgmentalism 

Amongst other things that are anathema to our Truth War Doctrines. 5

But most importantly this Emergent spirit is against our most Godly; Holy and Biblical President ever—-this is why we must take a stand against  them in our God’s Great Wrath and Pure Doctrines by renewing our Christian Liberty to subjugate; discriminate and persecute those against our Doctrine.

Judging Others: The True Christian’s Duty!

April 17, 2019

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Bow to our Pure Doctrines heretics for we stand in judgment over you with our great Discenmentalism. You have heard it said judge not lest ye be judged but we say unto you that we have a right to judge all with our high standards of our Judgementalism using our Discernmentalist methods:

Angry Nonsense Guarding Everyone Really Horrible Against Truly Reformed Evangelicals Deconverting [to a more reflective Christianity] (ANGERHATRED)

For if we were to remove our Truth from grace you wouldn’t have grace, but a spineless imitation. (As you’ve already figured out, this is the shadow side of liberalism.) We judge so that our grace might abound.

How To Write A Ken Silvaesque Article! | eHow.com

October 13, 2011

So you want to write an Apprising article just like Ken Silva? Well follow these eight simple steps and pretty soon you’ll be able to write an Apprising Discernmentalist Missive like a pro and even one up Ken Silva himself:

  1. Step one—choose a subject on whom you want to apprise the church on: Candace Cameron-Bure.
  2. Step 2: Can you discern anything slightly heretical about the subject whom you’ve chosen? Yes.
  3. Step 3: Define what you have deemed heretical about the subject you are writing on: Recently Candace Cameron-Bure appeared on a worldly Nickelodeon game show.
  4. Step 4: Here would be a good place in the article to add a screen-capture preferably of a Twitter account to use as incriminating evidence:
  5. Step 5: Was what you deemed heretical a book, a quote, an event or something else? A worldly Nickelodeon game show appearance.
  6. Step 6: What made this so heretical? (Hint: Now is a good time to link your article back to any of your other fellow Online Discernmentalist Ministries and friends or one of your own articles). I’ve already told you that Worldliness is an abomination remember as Romans 12:2 states: “Be not conformed to the world” also as Proverbs 27: 20 states: “‘Hell and destruction are never full; so the eyes of man are never satisfied.” Not only is Nickelodeon worldly but my fellow Truth Warrior Eric Barger has discernmentalized some startling facts about Nickelodeon’s connection to the New World Order and the Occult: “Beware of New Nickelodeon Show: A new, heavily advertised program debuting tomorrow (January 1) on Nickelodeon will introduce American children to a Harry Potter-like hit show from Belgian called “The House of Anubis.” From watching the video trailer for the new TV show, it is very obvious that the producers are cashing in on the blockbuster success of the J.K. Rowling novels. It also further illustrates the fascination and affinity the world is showing for entertainment which promotes ungodly supernaturalism. At very least “The House of Anubis” glorifies its namesake – “a jackal-headed god associated with mummification and the afterlife in Egyptian mythology.” In occult circles, Anubis is known as one of the most powerful demonic deities. I wrote about this is the updated version of my book (with David Benoit) Entertaining Spirits Unaware: The End-Time Occult Invasion. (See: http://www.ericbarger.com/esu.htm) This is just another step in the desensitization process of our society (and out children). Our world is now viewing the occult as “normal” – a certain sign of the End-Days.” Therefore we can only conclude that by Candace Cameron-Bure appearing on a show on a network that promotes Occultic NWO shows then she has destroyed any integrity in her purity of  True Christian Doctrine that she had left and may in fact be a False Convert. Also she was sinfully-ecumenical on that worldly show with Larry Kinga known supporter of Liberal politics who rejects the True Gospel and Joey Fatone-who was a member in a band with a homosexual.  This sends the world the wrong message. This tells the world that Christians accept the great lie and satanic deception of Liberalism that means that homosexuality and abortion are ok but war is wrong. Lastly, the worldly show that Candace Cameron-Bure appeared on promotes sharing and charities which are communism and socialism according to my fellow Discernmentalist Jan Markell’s clear teachings.
  7. Step 7: Make sure to add at least one quote or two from John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) or Spurgeon or both of these men of God  to add a little “non-sissified anti-Evanjellyfish doctrinal theology” into your article: “If you’ve been watching the headlines over the last couple years, you may have noticed the incredible surge of interest in affirming homosexuality. Whether it’s at the heart of a religious scandal, political corruption, radical legislation, or the redefinition of marriage, homosexual interests have come to characterize America. That’s an indication of the success of the gay agenda. And some Christians, including some national church leaders, have wavered on the issue even recently. But sadly, when people refuse to acknowledge the sinfulness of homosexuality–calling evil good and good evil (Isaiah 5:20)–they do so at the expense of many souls. How should you respond to the success of the gay agenda? Should you accept the recent trend toward tolerance? Or should you side with those who exclude homosexuals with hostility and disdain? In reality, the Bible calls for a balance between what some people think are two opposing reactions–condemnation and compassion. Really, the two together are essential elements of biblical love, and that’s something the homosexual sinner desperately needs. Homosexual advocates have been remarkably effective in selling their warped interpretations of passages in Scripture that address homosexuality. When you ask a homosexual what the Bible says about homosexuality–and many of them know–they have digested an interpretation that is not only warped, but also completely irrational. Pro-homosexual arguments from the Bible are nothing but smokescreens–as you come close, you see right through them. God’s condemnation of homosexuality is abundantly clear–He opposes it in every age.“—Dr. John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) on the Gay Agenda. Spurgeon on worldliness: “It is clear to every one who is willing to see it that laxity of doctrine is either the parent of worldliness, or is in some other way very near akin to it. The men who give up the old faith are the same persons who plead for latitude as to general conduct. The Puritan is not more notorious for his orthodoxy than for his separateness from the world. Liberal divines do not always command the respect of the public, but they gain a certain popularity by pandering to prevailing tastes. The ungodly world is so far on their side that it commends them for their liberality, and rails at the orthodox as bigots and kill-joys. It is a very suspicious circumstance that very often the less a man knows of the inner life, and the less he even cares to speak of it, the more heartily he is for the new theology, the theory of evolution, and the condemnation of all settled doctrine. Those who would have a blessing from the Lord must avoid all this, and determine to follow the Lord fully. Not only must they quit false doctrine, but they must receive the gospel, not as dogma, but as vital truth. Only as the truth is attended with living faith will it prove its own royal power. Believers must also sweep the house of the leaven of worldliness, and the frivolities of a giddy generation. The evil which is now current eats as doth a canker, and there is no hope for healthy godliness until it is cut out of the body of the church by her again repenting, and doing her first works.
  8. Step 8: Write a conclusion: “Let’s mobilize our Lord’s forces and lift up the banner of Jesus Christ of Nazareth—our great God and Savior—for the whole world to see! For he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world (1 John 4:4) Might we give ourselves completely to the Lord that He use us to rescue those lost in the twisted kingdom of the cults.” Finish. Congratulations! Now, you’ve written a Ken Silvaesque article!

ODM News: “Al Mohler Emerges as a Socialist.”

October 8, 2011

We were horrified when our Research Robot Monkeys caught one of our own spouting anti-Rich hate messages. We would expect this unholy abomination from Leftist Liebral Red-Letter Universalist Sinfully Ecumenical Semi-Pelagian Emergerants preaching their Social(ist) gospels but never from a True Bible-Believing Christian. We mustn’t stand for this as Jan Markell says:

In many Bibles, all the words of Jesus are in red. There is nothing wrong with that. But something is wrong when Leftist Christians or so-called Christians want to mute the words of Paul and other writers and only follow Jesus’ words. They call themselves “red-letter Christians.”

Some who believe this way practice a form of neo-Marxism and others would call it “Christian Marxism” — an oxymoron if there ever was one. They note that the early church shared everything (socialism). A close cousin to this is “liberation theology.”

Thanks to our Research Robot Monkeys—here for all the world to see is Al Mohler’s unholy abomination in all of it’s sinful apostasy:

I am writing this essay on an Apple laptop computer. I am listening to the strains of Bach playing from my iPad via an AirPort Express. My iPhone sits on my desk, downloading a new App from iTunes. Steve Jobs has invaded my life, my house, my office, my car, and my desktop — and I am thankful for all of these technologies.

But unerring taste, aesthetic achievement, and technological genius will not save the world. Christians know what the world does not — that the mother tending her child, the farmer planting his crops, the father protecting his family, the couple faithfully living out their marital vows, the factory worker laboring to support his family, and the preacher preparing to preach the Word of God are all doing far more important work.

We have to measure life by its eternal impact, even as we are thankful for every individual who makes this world a better place. But, don’t expect eternal impact to be the main concern of the business pages.—Al Mohler

Clearly this is an attack on Rich business owners and Big Business. Any attack on Big Business is Socialism. Saying that factory workers laboring to support their families are more important than Rich business owners is to side with the Labor Unions. Supporting Labor Unions is Big Labor and taking a stand for Big Labor and the common workers is Communistic Socialism.