Archive for the ‘Orthodox Doctrine of the Holy Pooping’ Category

Behold The Horrors Of Christ-Mass!

December 15, 2019

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Oh what unbiblical horrors of this demonic holiday—praise Dort! How dare anyone celebrate love joy and peace—why that leads to Roman Arminianism that man exalting heresy! Thankfully our Romish Augustinianist Genevan fatalistic semi-Donatist heresies exempt us from bearing the fruits of the spirit as that’s simply unCalvinistic and Calvinism not Jesus is the TRUE GOSPEL–praise Dort!

Not a single Reformer celebrated Christmas especially not Martin Luther the very founder of Protestantism:

 

  • “When they [Mary and Joseph] arrived at Bethlehem, they were the most insignificant and despised…. No one noticed or was conscious of what God was doing in that stable. He lets the large houses and costly apartments remain empty, lets their inhabitants eat, drink, and be merry; but this comfort and treasure are hidden from them. O what a dark night this was for Bethlehem, that was not conscious of that glorious light! See how God shows that he utterly disregards what the world is, has, or desires; and furthermore, that the world shows how little it knows or notices what God is, has, and does.” (94)
  • “When we look at this birth, and reflect upon how the sublime Majesty moves with great earnestness and inexpressible love and goodness upon the flesh and blood of this virgin, we see how here all evil lust and every evil thought is banished.” (96)
  • “We see here how Christ, as it were, takes our birth from us and absorbs it in his birth, and grants us his, that in it we might become pure and holy, as if it were our own, so that every Christian may rejoice and glory in Christ’s birth as much as if he had himself been born of Mary as was Christ.” (98) (Source)

 

Which is why: “We need another Reformation: no more liturgical calendar, no more elevating any day above the Lord’s Day, no more compromising with the world, no more traditions of men.” –Sharon M. Whitleychristianity_sunworship

Praise the traditions of Calvin and holiday hating Jehovah’s witnesses and our Reformed traditions!

Sharon M. Whitley

“There is no warrant in the Scriptures for the observance of Christmas and Easter as holy days, but rather the contrary (see Galatians iv. 9-11; Colossians ii. 16-21), and such observance is contrary to the principles of the Reformed faith, conducive to will-worship, and not in harmony with the simplicity of the gospel of Jesus Christ.” General Assembly of the Presbyterian Church in the United Statese9f541b6f2cb46470e4514c05f7775a1

Quote the Puritan Grinches and Scrooge: “Bah Humbug—we hate Christmas. Praise Genevan Augustinianism and pope-kisser Saint Augustine!”

Now excuse us while we go worship on Sunday that popish-pagan Sabbath-trashing day of Sun worship without Scriptural warrant: on the 7th day He rested not the 1st—-keep the 7th day Holy not the 1st.

Roman pagan Catholic origins of Sunday:

Sunday (Day of the Sun), as the name of the first day of the week, is derived from Egyptian astrology. The seven planets, known to us as Saturn, Jupiter, Mars, the Sun, Venus, Mercury, and the Moon, each had an hour of the day assigned to them, and the planet which was regent during the first hour of any day of the week gave its name to that day (see CALENDAR). During the first and second century the week of seven days was introduced into Rome from Egypt, and the Roman names of the planets were given to each successive day. The Teutonic nations seem to have adopted the week as a division of time from the Romans, but they changed the Roman names into those of corresponding Teutonic deities. Hence the dies Solis became Sunday (German, Sonntag). Sunday was the first day of the week according to the Jewish method of reckoning, but for Christians it began to take the place of the Jewish Sabbath in Apostolic times as the day set apart for the public and solemn worship of God.

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Todd Friel’s Gospel against Peace-loving Heretics

May 2, 2019

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Good news pagan American Jesus hates you and unless you believe in our perverted Beautiful and wonderous Doctrine that pagan American Jesus hates you—He’s coming back to declare war on you apostates and kill you unregenerate reprobated sinners at any given  moment. Oh how our God hates everyone not like us with a commendable hatred and He expects us to share in His commendable hatred of all the sickos and spiritual terrorists like the Amish out there trying to pervert our Gospel of the angry Sovereign pagan American Jesus’ unsatisfied wrath since His Father sent Him to the Cross to satisfy His wrath—yet that wrath is so great it still eternally burns towards all those unlike us and not patriotic American enough. We know for as our Research Robot Monkey Sharon Whitley has said: “Calvinists in  the time of the Reformation considered the Anabaptists to be more dangerous and threatening to the Reformation and to true Biblical Christianity than Romanism.”

This is why we must refuse to compromise our Doctrine by working towards a goal of world peace as we are to ‘war a good warfare’—so remember these Pure words from our Truth War Gospels:

Blessed is the Military Industrial Complex,
for they send millions to meet their Maker.
10 Blessed are those who stifle dissent,
for they maintain control of America.

11 “Blessed are you when people praise you, laud you and say wondrous things about you for following my example. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in America, for in the same way they praise the rich and powerful who made America Great.

. . . . .

Crush your Enemies

38 “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ 39 But I say to you, do not merely resist an evildoer. If anyone strikes you on the right cheek (or is even thinking about striking you on the right cheek), strike them down. Strike down their families. Strike down their villages. Strike down their nation, so that even their descendants live in fear. 40 If anyone wants to sue you and take your coat, take everything they hold dear and laugh; 41 and if anyone forces you to go one mile, force them, by any means necessary, to go one hundred miles. 42 Give to none who beg from you, for that enables laziness, and refuse anyone who wants to borrow from you, for that promotes idleness and entitlement.

43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 And I say to you, despise your enemies and preemptively bomb or drone those who defy you (or defy your ally or have natural resources vital to your sense of security), 45 so that you may be children of your God; for He makes his sun rise on the good, and sends rain on the righteous while bringing darkness to the wicked and drought to the unrighteous.”

Pope Pyro the First says: “Education Smeducation!”

April 20, 2019

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Our Illustrious Infallible Grand Poobah the Most Inerrant Most Holy Pope Pyro I aka John MacArthur (PBUH) decrees: “Education smeducation…students keep your mouth shut…I am the Master and you barely worthy to sit at my anointed feet of discernmentalism…I have no need of degrees as  I already know all Truth. Did Paul have a  degree? Did Spurgeon? For I was personally appointed by God to lead the Truth War and spread disimformation slander discernmentalism. I know all Truth and history as I was there.”

Elsewhere Phil Johnson aka Hugh Jass noted that our Holy mecca Vatican school University of Discernmentalism is under attack:

Pastor John MacArthur has described the probation of his Master’s University and Seminary by an accrediting agency as an “orchestrated” attack, possibly by Satan, and directed students to keep quiet about the controversy.

A Nov. 29 report from the Chronicle of Higher Education published an audio recording of an hourlong sermon from August wherein the 79-year-old Reformed pastor told the student body that their accreditor’s actions amounted to an effort “orchestrated, if not by humans, by Satan himself.”

MacArthur also told students not to ask questions about the accreditation issues, they had no right to learn the details, and that it was not their responsibility.

“There are things that God hates, right?” he said, referencing Proverbs 6. “One of them is the one who stirs up strife,” he said, urging students to keep their complaints within the university and seminary.

“Keep your mouth shut,” MacArthur told them.

“Don’t stir up strife. You don’t know the whole story.”

Eradicate Popish-Pagan Holidays In America!

December 23, 2011

Our Pilgrim forefathers considered Christmas a display of “popish” extravagance inspired by Satan, and not without some justification. Until the 19th century Christmas was usually celebrated by drunken riots. The city council of New York finally voted to pay for a special uniformed Christmas day police force after a particularly deadly Christmas evening riot in 1828. But that didn’t stop a repeat in 1851 when the New York Tribune noted the “…musketry and firecrackers, the bacchanal songs and noisy revels, which for two hours after midnight made sleep not a thing to be dreamed of.”

Typical members of the Whore of Babylon (Romish Arminianist Satan-worshipers) trying to defend their unholy, ungodly and unbiblical Hell-a-day from True Bible-Believers:

We also believe that Christmas celebrates Satan and the birth of the anti-Christ like our Puritan ancestors—and you should too [believe that Christ-mass is the most Satanic time of the year under Ishtar (Easter)] as one of our top key Researchmentalists Sharon M. Whitley always says: “Btw, if you want to see a large, lavish Christmas display in a mall… go to Dubai in the UAE! Many countries that are not Christian celebrate this holiday. That right there should tell Christians it’s not of God!”

Now go out and make this Season a non-Pagan Holy Day by spending more of  your hard-earned cash on us. We require your tithes in a non-gift-giving way—buy our stuff like our new Rapture kit. Capitalism is how you can truly redeem this satanic Popish-Pagan season from idolatrous blasphemous Romish Arminianist filth for Capitalism is what makes America truly Holy and great as Capitalism is Biblical!  And your hard-earned money which you must tithe to us helps keep fine quality Discernmentalist websites like this one up and running.

New Quick And Painless Way

June 27, 2011

To Remove Jesus From Your Heart:

Have you ever asked Jesus into your heart? What about accepting Jesus as the Lord and Savior of your life? Or receiving Jesus to fill your God-shaped hole? Is Jesus more important to you than any other religious leader? If you answered yes to any of the following—congratulations you’re not even a Real and True Christian and most likely worship Satan, the Pope or Mary as your dark lord and master a False Convert.

If you have found that you were rated a False Convert—never fear Todd Friel with Brannon Howse’s help have introduced a new quick and pain-free way to reverse your status and make sure that you become a True Convert this time around. Introducing the new surgical procedure to surgically remove Jesus from False Converts’ hearts: Operation JesuScopic Surgery! Why let Jesus fool around in your heart when you can have your heart filled with the Puritan Hard Drive (PHD)—now with twice the amount of John Owen’s fatalistic arrogance!

God’s Only Inerrant Party: Or Postmodern Fascists…

May 31, 2010

Said Drucker, “Fascism, however, goes much further in its negation of the past than any earlier political movement, because it makes this negation its main platform. What is even more important, it denies simultaneously ideas and tendencies which are in themselves antithetic. It is antiliberal, but also anticonservative; antireligious and antiatheist, anticapitalist and antisocialist…—the list could be continued indefinitely.”[9]

We Discernmentalists believe in Fascism all the way as we define ourselves solely by what we take a stand against instead of what we are for. We all take a self-righteous stand in God’s Absolute Sovereign Wrath when we spread lies, slander and misinformation come down negatively against the following: liberals, liberalism, liberal conservatives, conservative liberals, conservatives who don’t believe exactly as we do, libertarian conservatism, libertarians, other religions, religious persons of other religious groups, other Christians, non-Christian groups, non-Calvinist Christian groups, all non-Calvinists, other Calvinists, atheists, social justice, the Social Gospel, socialism, communism, true capitalism, etc.— the list could be continued indefinitely.

We are reactionary to the tee as we overreact and protest against anything that we can’t understand or that we personally dislike. Why bother to learn from those that we disagree with as we are by nature born correct, inerrant and always Right being of the Chosen and Frozen Master Religious Race (Calvinazis) so that those with whom we disagree are by default already and automatically decreed and declared always wrong from the foundation of the world.

The New World Order Book Encyclopedia of Discernmentalism defines Fascism as follows:

– an Extreme Ultra Radical Right-Wing religio-politico philosophy bent on total totalitarian control of the Church and the State

– the underlying philosophy of our Religious Right (God’s Only Inerrant Party)

– The Conservative Political Platform of Ronald Reagan

– Brannon Howse’s favorite Discernmentalist tool

– Chris Rosebrough and Pirate Radio

– Ken Silva’s  secret agenda

– John MacArthur’s no-Grace Community Church

“Fascist totalitarianism has no positive theology, but confines itself to refuting, fighting and denying all traditional ideas and ideologies…Fascism not only refutes all old ideas but denies, for the first time in European history, the foundation on which all former political and social systems had been built…”[5]

 

Other links of interest on Fascism:

Jan Markell Caught With An Unbiblical Pet

May 5, 2010

We Know that the Bible and not Jesus is the whole point of Christianity. We also Know that to maintain Biblical integrity one must live by the Absolute infallible and inerrant standard of our interpretation of the Bible. The Bible is literal in all aspects of it’s Absolute Truth and is the direct dictation of God to us. This is why we must live wholly and solely by the Bible and not Jesus as Todd Friel (Wretched) always says which is why when our Research Robot Monkeys caught Jan Markell with a cat we were concerned.

Why is this such a big concern you may ask? Why for one thing cats are unbiblical. Yeah that’s right cats are unbiblical as cats do not appear anywhere in the Bible. Dogs however do. Secondly if God wanted us to have cats as pets, He would have commanded it in His Holy Inerrant and Infallible Word—our Absolute Divine Authority. Last but not least, cats have origins in false religions like the dark and Satanic cults of Ancient Egypt who worshipped cats. Black cats are especially ungodly and unholy:

Black cats have religious origins as well. Black cats were considered to be reincarnated beings with the ability to divine the future. During the Middle Ages it was believed that witches could turn themselves into black cats. Thus when such a cat was seen, it was considered to be a witch in disguise.

For someone who prides herself on Absolute Biblical Certainty and Absolute Biblical Correctness, you would think that Jan would own a  Biblically correct pet. Repent Jan for the End is nigh.

New Bible-Based Laxative

April 19, 2010

Finally a colon cleanser fit to relieve the bowels of God’s Holy Predestined Elect introducing PoopraCrapsarian Laxatives. Every PoopraCrapsarian tablet is made by the most natural and Biblical of ingredients based on the Levetical Dietary Laws of keeping Kosher.  All PoopraCrapsarian tablets contain the Absolute Decrees of God so remember PoopraCrapsarian Laxatives for all your colon cleansing needs—good only for the fatallistically predetermined voiding of bowels.

Warning PoopraCrapsarian Laxatives are only good enough for the Truly Predestined Elect of God—the True Converts. Side effects may include but are not limited to: bloating, upset stomach, diaherrea, arrogance, extreme Capitalism, anti-Catholic bigotry, a feeling of religious supremacy over those who disagree with you, elitism, aversion to religious objects, the need to burn heretics at the stake, love of war and torture, condescension and other  side effects. False Converts, unregenerate reprobates and heathens need not apply as they have already been  fatallistically predetermined by God to suffer the wrath of eternal bowel discomfort from the foundation of the world.

All Theological Roads Lead Back To Rome?

February 21, 2010

Sharin’ Whiplash aka Non-Electgal in an UnReformed and Deformed moment stated:

Anabaptists, Reformed/Presbyterians, Lutherans, and Anglicans are 4 separate branches with separate traditions. All four branches are Reformed from Roman Catholicism in the broad sense of the term.

Clearly she might be one of the unregenerate reprobates decieved into believing that she is Truly Elect or Secured in her Reprobation for as we know Calvinism has  nothing to do with “Roman Arminianism or Roman Catholicism that man-exalting heresy!” And we don’t exalt man especially not Calvin—We Know! Why—because We told ya so! Or maybe Sharin’ has contracted the same Postmodern and Emergence virus that Ken Silva has contracted?

Ken Silva Contracts A Rare Emergent Virus

February 21, 2010

Yesterday Ken Silva contracted the rare hideous and disfiguring Emergent virus: Calvini sincerus doxolatroum vitare. This caused him to attack God’s Absolute Sovereignty and utter such an unReformed statement as this:

WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR UNLEASHING THE EMERGING CHURCH VIRUS EMBED CODE?

We Know who is responsible and the Pure Reformed answer is:

God from all eternity, did, by the most wise and holy counsel of His own will, freely, and unchangeably ordain whatsoever comes to pass yet so, as thereby neither is God the author of sin, nor is violence offered to the will of the creatures; nor is the liberty or contingency of second causes taken away, but rather established.
Westminster Larger Catechism Q3

That means that God is responsible and the One who caused from the Foundation of the World the UNLEASHING of  THE EMERGING CHURCH VIRUS which Ken Silva contracted. We all are now praying for Ken Silva to be healed and get well from such a dark and reprobated illness so that he can return to his ole Deformed Purely Reformed, Emergent-bashing and Discernmentalist self.