Archive for March, 2011

Confused? We Have Good News For You:

March 29, 2011

Confused by all the New Age Modern (Per)Versions of the Bible… Tired of all the divisions in the church because your Pastor is actually educated and knows about Textual Criticism (How dare any Divinity school teach such an evil and blasphemous idea!!!)… Never fear have we got Good News for you: Why be in bondage to one Bible translation only like those evil Roman Arminian Papists were with their Latin Vulgate Onlyism when you can believe the complete opposite—King James Authorised 1611 Bible Onlyism for the win—because if it ain’t got the King on the cover it ain’t got the King inside and if it ain’t broke it don’t need fixin’.

Any missionary worth supporting will use ONLY The King James Version (in English) and the Textus Receptus or KJV for translation work !

You have NO business supporting a missionary
who has his car trunk (boot) full of bible versions
to please the whim of the churches he visits.

Such creeps are heretics, and you should send
them packing on down the road. Do not pay their
motel bill, and do not feed them.

They are capitalistic Christians–
making merchandise of the saints.

BEWARE OF SMILEY SAINTS WITH NIVS !!

BEWARE OF HICK GOOD OLD BOY MISSIONARIES
WHO TALK DUMB ABOUT THE TEXTUAL ISSUE.

THEY GOT THAT LINE OF BOLOGNA FROM
TENNESSEE TEMPLE OR BOB JONES U.

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Jerks For Jesus (Our Valued Patrons) Judgmentalize Japan

March 16, 2011

 

Did Japan deserve the tsunami, specifically, and the painful afterplay?  No way, no how.  Japan deserves far worse.  Japan is a pagan, idolatrous, perverted nation full of pagan, idolatrous, perverted people.  Perverted, pagan idolatry is sin, and sin must be punished.  God will not be patient with sin and sinners forever.  Comparably-minor judgments like these are mere foreshadowings and tastes of the judgment to come.  I believe that the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor was a sin as well, in and of itself, and as such deserves punishment and judgment.  Even if the attack were justified, it is impossible to argue that it was carried out with 100% pure motives and in 100% pure ways. —Rhoblogy

We are so proud of our faithful student Rhoblogy—why he is almost the judgmentalist that we are and we are twice the judgementalists than Ken Silva yet not quite the judgmentalists that Sharin’ Whiplash is. Rhoblogy is so astute in his judgmentalism that he sets standards that would even confound our great and affectionate Uncle the great and all-powerful Pastor-Teacher to the Internet congregation of the True Remnant himself.

We agree with Rhoblogy for as Todd Friel’s pal has said echoing John MacArthur’s Pure Truth War Doctrines©®™:

A simple reading of the Bible shows how God uses natural disasters to further his purposes. Earthquakes, floods, famine, locusts, etc. they’re all there, but man hates it. Rather than humbly acknowledging that God’s ways are not our ways, man rails against and accuses God. The last thing they will do is cry out for his mercy in Jesus Christ.

We also like Rhoblogy are no friends of sinners or the Japanese for as Al Mohler says: “God hates sin/sinners, and will punish both individual sinners and nations.”—therefore we also hate sickos, perverts, reprobate nations, sinners and people in general unless they are just like us or believe exactly like us in the same way that we do (except on rare occaisions when we must discernmentalize ourselves and other Discernmentalists).

Praise God For His Sovereign Wrath Against Japan!

March 14, 2011

We are so great-ful for God unleashing His commendable hate-filled Sovereign Wrath against His unholy enemies in Japan. We have been so disgusted by Japan’s heathen ways for awhile now—for one: “Japan gave us pokemon, so God gave them an earthquake/tsunami as punishment one-two … you do the math.” Note: Eric Barger says that Pokemon is responsible for most of the criminal acts in the world commited by young perpetrators.

Secondly Japan is full of atheists and reprobated apostate heretics like Roman Catholics, Universalists and Arminians. This is why we are so encouraged and overjoyed that God has poured down His wrath upon Japan so that He may be glorified in sending as many people (that He foreordained not to love from the foundation of the world) to hell as possible through the Sovereign Grace of His great Law, Wrath and commendable hatred towards non-Elect sinners.

We only pray that God might smite more of His enemies. Lord hear our Imprecatory Prayer and let Your nostrils flare with the flames of Your anger and curse the anti-Haters. Remember all you unregenerate reprobates God had His Hand on the earth and waves as it was causing destruction in Japan as God is in Absolute Control over everything including the dust blowing in the wind. Anyone who believes otherwise worships Satan and that means all you Roman Arminians—you man-exalting heretics! Praise God and the Dortian Divines for our Pure Gospel Doctrines!

P. S. We believe in the Real and True God not the weak, wimpy, womanly and liberal Commie god created in the image of Rob Bell whose love wins—but the God of the Bible who is an Angry God of all consuming fire and smoke—the God who is so angry and full of commendable hatred that He may cast wicked men into hell at any given moment.