Archive for the ‘Southern GOIP Union’ Category

“El Presidente Exempt from Divorcees Unfaithful to the Lord” El Sandi says

November 19, 2019

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“fathered six children and worked as director of a Chabad House in Jerusalem’s Old City before coming to terms with long-simmering gender dysphoria, becoming a woman and undergoing surgery” If he couldn’t remain faithful to a wife and 6 kids – who one can see – how is he going to remain faithful to the Lord – who one cannot see ( )

That’s right divorcees are unfaithful to the Lord—however our thrice-divorced and remarried President is exempt as ElSandi has said Trump is the most faithful to the Lord President she’s ever seen in her lifetime. ElSandi has long promoted herself as a Bible-thumping, social conservative Discernmentalist and fundamentalist so has quickly discernmentalized that Trump’s divorces are to blame on sinister forces noting that Obama and Satan bear most of the blame.

Pat Robertson agrees: “When Trump came forward as a family values loving, praying man he came under spiritual attack,” said Robertson on “The 700 Club.” “This is the work of Satan, he is the enemy of all Christians. He doesn’t want to see us happy.”

“Obama never got over how Trump has beaten him as the Best Greatest Make America Great President Ever, so I bet he had some of his witch doctor friends attack him,” said Jill Swain, a Trump fan and QAnon follower.

R. R., This Diploma Is For You!

November 24, 2009

We of God’s Only Inerrant Party and The Online Discernmentalist Mafia do hereby award you, R. R., Redneck Republican, this  honorary diploma of academic excellence and achievements in the online world of Redneck GOIP Republican Discernmentalism. Congratulations!

We will now recite your essay that you wrote for your graduation speech:

The Problem with Liberals

…  Grade: A- for suggesting that Liebrals can actually go  to heaven as they are of the unregenerate, reprobated, unsaved, non-Elect sinners.

Liberals are gullible. Liberals are being led around by the nose by the liberal media. Take global warming as an example. Liberals want to believe all of these liberal chicken-little scientists that the earth is warming. The reality is that we are just going through a little hot spell, and they are using that as a trick to have the government control our lives.

We of the OD Mafia and GOIP agree as the earth warming is a Sign of Jesus’ sure return and the Blessed Rapture. Praise God!

Liberals are naive. Remember when Saddam Hussein told the UN that he had no weapons of mass destruction? The liberals and the idiot United Nations wanted to do give Hussein the benefit of the doubt and do an inspection. Saddam Hussein was a liar and an evil man and we needed to take him out whether he had WMD or not. Believing anything other than that is naive.

Yes the UN is the Anti-Christ’s headquarters of a New World Order Of A One World Religious  Government. Evil indeed—we heard from Brannon Howse that Saddam controlled the UN while he was alive.

Liberals are weak. One of the first things our idiot Communist president, Barry Obama, did was close down Guantanomo where we were torturing some of the most evil enemies of our great nation. Liberals are against torture because they are weak. For America to succeed in the war against terror, we must torture MORE not less. We should be opening up a chain of Guantanomo prisons throughout the world. Only then will the world realize how strong we are as a nation.

We know—Dr. Truthslayer warns that even preaching on gentleness leads to liebralism.—Don Jobson. How dare those liberal fools try to turn our Jesus (the True one)  into Mister Rogers when we who are God’s True Elect know that He was like General Patton and General Douglas (John) McArthur.—Arthur McJohn.

Liberals are no fun. Liberals like to point at Abu Ghraib as American foreign policy gone bad. In fact, it is the opposite. During George W Bush’s term, America had the best foreign policy in the history of time. Actually, Final President Reagan had the greatest foreign policy of all time as it is the Pure Biblical Standard for all foreign policy for all time. The Bible clearly teaches this Absolute Truth. Insofar as Bush followed the political Gospel of Reaganism which the Bible teaches, he was okay in our book. However, George W. Bush is a closet socialist and a globalistAbu Ghraib was just a few of the youngsters having a little fun at the expense of the evil Muslims. Liberals definitely need to lighten up a bit.

Amen!—only we Fundamentalists are fun as our system begins with the word fun, whereas liberalism begins with lie.—Arthur again.

Liberals are going to hell. This is a key and critical point. Not all liberals are going to hell, but a lot of them are. We are concerned with your wording here. The reason is that God is a Republican. God wants liberals to fail but he also gave humans free will because he wants all humanity to choose Republican. Here. The ramifications are dire because heaven is full of Republicans and HELL has a lot of Democrats. Liberals need to get their heart right with God. And here.

Actually all liberals and Demon-c-rats are going to hell as they were born unregenerate, reprobated, unsaved, non-Elect sinners and God chose them as vessels of Wrath and destruction from the foundation of the world. However, we True GOIP Republicans were born regenerate, predestined Elect, saved vessels of Glory according to God’s Absolutely Sovereignty. If you don’t like this Pure and Sound Bible teaching—suck it up,  because this is the Pure Gospel. We thought your opening thesis was strong until you fell into the error of the man-centered Grace-hating man-loving romanist papist semi-Pelagian heresy of Arminianism. This is why we had no choice but to give you an A- for effort despite your critical, heretical and soul destroying error.

Liberals are bad with money. The reason that we are in the current economic crisis is 100% because of liberals. Of course, liberals are doing everything in their power to escape blame by blaming tons of innocent people. They want to blame the Fed for printing too much money. Then on top of that, they blame Bush for entering a costly war with no exit. Can you believe it? They think that Bush was not frugal. The reality is that liberals need to own up for creating this crisis so we can move on.

We agree—Capitalism is the Absolute Truth Biblical economic system.—Arthur McJohn.

Liberals hate our military. This one makes me a little perturbed. We owe our freedom and the best quality of life on the planet to our military. It is the ultimate in disrespect. This is also related to why liberals are so weak.

Yes war is God’s Divine Command to His Holy Elect. This charge I commit unto thee, son Timothy, according to the prophecies which went before on thee, that thou by them mightest war a good warfare; 1 Timothy 1:18 King James Bible AV1611

Liberals hate freedom. Liberals want all of us to be slaves to a Orwellian Big Brother government. The government tells us what to do, and we just nod our head like puppy dogs. Liberals are submissive, and conservatives love freedom.

Theocracy is the only True Freedom. 

“A new heresy has been discovered,” he said. “We must stamp out this burst of hell-fire before it spreads over the surface of the earth…. Freedom of conscience is a doctrine of the devil…. Better to have a tyrant, however cruel, than permit everyone to do what he pleases.”

—John Calvin. Which is why we must triumph over Satan’s philosophy of liebralism.

Conclusion. There is more, but liberals should start working on improving themselves as people. It is not only important for themselves but for the nation as a whole. Rush Limbaugh (another one of the great ones) has it right. We are in a battle between good and evil. Right now, Satan is winning and the hateful racist non America Barry Obama is president. For America to succeed Obama must fail. We must unite as a nation again the evil that Obama represents. Liberals repent.

Checked and graded by: Don Jobson and Arthur McJohn, Online Discernmentalists and key GOIP Officials.

Introducing The New Special Forces Of God’s Only Inerrant Party

November 24, 2009

A Special Dobson Ranch Pentagon Announcement

Redneck Special Forces Training photo. Shelly The True Republican is in the background.

The Pentagon of the GOIPers—Dobson Ranch—the Death Star Mighty G…od Fortress Space Station on Mars  announced today the formation of a new 500-man elite Fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF) or more formally known as the GOIP Controlled United States Redneck Republican Special Forces (GOIP CUSRRSF).

These Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Mississippi, Missouri, Oklahoma,Tennessee and Texas boys will be dropped into Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists:

1. The season opened today.

2. There is no limit.

3. They taste just like chicken.

4. They don’t like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus.

5. They are DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE for the death of Dale Earnhardt.

We expect the problem in Iraq to be over by this coming Friday. Here our resident Redneck GOIPer, R. R. stands with his pickup truck ready for duty and his gun ready for action:

Tyrone V. Hoofendorfer On Affirmative Action

November 20, 2009

Tyrone V. Hoofendorfer

1:20PM Nov 18th 2009
Hey Jrotced, could you please shut the F^ck up already!! You act as though you are the only one here with an opinion. You call everyone who has a negative opinion of Obama a bigot while in reality YOU are the disgusting bigot. You are to full of yourself to realize it. I myself am a VICTIM of the wretched practices of “affirmative action.” There isn’t one damn thing affirmative about this practice. I was poorer than ALL the black kids going to my school, yet they had the audacity to say things like “all you white people are rich,” as about 30 of them bravely chased me to my home in the projects. I was not considered for promotions in my early 20’s though I attended night school and worked hard. The higher paying jobs went to the Hispanics and Blacks with ABSOLUTELY NO COLLEGE; and they were fresh off the street. A young black lady in the H.R. dept. admitted this to me. This happened to many of my friends as well. I could go on and on with MANY atrocious stories, but the only stories YOU would be interested would be the stories of the struggles of a black man. WHY? Because YOU are a BIGOT!!!!!!!!
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The Look Of A Heretic Or How To Spot A Liebral

November 19, 2009

We’ve shown you the look of a discernmentalist. Now we present to you—with our Absolute Truthiness—the look of a heretic. Now you will be able to tell when a liebral is in your vicinity trying to corrupt your Pure Doctrines. Our resident Redneck GOIPer has more to add with his 9 Steps To Identify Liberals:

I have already stated that liberals are killing this country, but it is quite hard to tell a liberal from a normal God Loving American. I have developed this simple system to help us weed out the good guys from the bad guys (liberals). I call it my Liberal Identification System (LIS).

1. Minorities. Don’t ask me why, but the vast majority of niggersblacks and chinksasians vote Democrat, and therefore they are making their liberal bias known to the rest of the world. I have talked to them, but these people are just plain stupid! They cannot understand for example the greatness of the war in Iraq, and are focused on WMD rather than the larger plan. So point one in the Liberal Identification System is to write off minorities as liberals. They are really not worth our time. After all, there is a reason that the founding fathers made the White House white.

2. French. French people are probably some of the most arrogant and ungrateful people in the world. They would speaking German right now it it were not for us. And how do they pay us back? They defied Saint Bush in the run up for the Iraqi War. It is unbelievable to me that after 5 years after the war began, they still cannot see the wisdom of the war. French people must be blind or stupid, but either way, one thing is clear, they are liberals.

3. People with accents. I just got back from Europe, and they all tried to speak to me in English. Despite their efforts, their English was HORRIBLE. They really need to practice more if they ever want to get in good with me and other conservatives. Plus you know that God speaks English perfectly. Heck, I don’t even think that God can understand some of these retard Europeans.

When I was in the airports in Europe, I noticed one thing right away. You don’t have to remove your shoes at airport security. These people are clueless. Removing our shoes is like a ritual to fight away terrorists and evil. It is a communion against terrorism. Since we have started removing our shoes at the airport, has there been another 9/11? Case closed. I felt like teaching them the American way, but I knew they would never understand. Why? Because they are all liberals.

4. College Professors. This is a special and perhaps the most dangerous breed of liberals because they are educating our young people. That’s the scary part. They devise these wicked curriculums, and the underlying goal is to get young people to think and use logic undermining key Republican and conservative ideals

Think about this. Many of Saint Bush’s economic advisers come from American universities. And these liberals are piping the same old lies. Our economy is in recession, the dollar is weak, the price of oil is rising, and federal spending is out of control. It makes me laugh. We all know the truth. Our economy is strong, the dollar is strong, price of gas is falling, and Saint Bush’s government is the most frugal in the world. There is only one conclusion to make. College professors are liberals.

5. Charities. Is there any doubt that Bill Gates is a liberal? He quits his day job to give away his money to improve world health. This is such a stupid idea I am not sure where to start. If I had that kind of dough, I would stop working so I could have more time to spend it. I really wish that Gates had called me, because I could have found a lot more fun ways to spend his money.

Worse yet. World health? I have already demonstrated that non Americans are liberals. So why in the world would we want to help them? In a subtle way, Gates is aiding the enemy by helping non Americans. Ultimately, Gates will get his punishment, but either way, charities such as these are chock full of bleeding heart liberals. They are probably the worst kind.

6. Non Christians – God doesn’t like non Christians and God does not like liberals either. Don’t you see that the two go together? God sent down his one and only son to save the world, and these non Christians are choosing to ignore God’s generosity. There is only one place for these people in God’s eyes, and in my eyes too.

7. Immigrants. Just another bunch of free loading poor people that don’t speak English. They want us to treat them as equals. HAHAHA. Fat chance, hermano. You guys need to go back to your disgusting little country, enter legally, get a legal American job, learn English, pay taxes, and maybe just maybe, we will treat you with a certain level of respect. Furthermore, any sign that you also might be a liberal, and your butt is out of here. Got that, Pedro?

8. Writers. What does the liberal media consist of? Writers. Lots of them. I know this is a slippery slope, because not all writers are liberals, but almost all of them are. It is a fair bet that if someone is writing a piece and it is not for Fox News, then they are feeding the liberal media machine. If it were not for the liberal media, our soldiers would be home, and the war of terror would be won. The war of terror is a war of emboldenment, and every slimy piece they write further emboldens the enemy. Remember Abu Ghraib? Of course you do, and so do the terrorist. What about Guantanomo Bay? The liberal media keeps on printing this stuff, and we will never win the war on terror, and our children will never be safe.

9. Hollywood. We have a dilemma as conservatives. I like my action movies as much as the next guy, but the people behind these films are liberals with a capital L. I have actually considered boycotting movies but it just isn’t any fun, even though every time I know that I am putting more money in a liberal’s pocket. Why can’t someone come out with some great movies by conservatives? Enough is enough already.

After having traveled Europe, there is one thing that is clear. The world is full of liberals. So this is just a humble beginning at weeding out the good people from the bad. God’s job is much easier figuring out who does to heaven or hell.

Codename ACSBLOP *(Augustine Calvin Spurgeon Black Letters of Paul)* Unveiled

November 6, 2009

GOIPSHEALDILogo

Introducing The Strategic Heretical Emergent Arminian & Liberal Defense Initiative or (SHEALDI) for short otherwise known as Codename ACSBLOP *(Augustine Calvin Spurgeon Black Letters of Paul)* or also known by it’s better known nickname ‘Heresy Wars/Absolute Truth Wars‘—now available and on the market from GOIP Labs. This top secret project has been in the making for several years now. Here is our Political Messiah, Final President and the Last Real President, Ronald Reagan with myself (Don Jobson) going over our top secret plans:

donjobsonwithronaldreagan

Final President Reagan with myself about to deliver the March 23, 1983 speech initiating SHEALDI. I was 19 years old then.

[Editors’ note: You’ve heard of those heathen Sedevacantists—well, we are Sedewhitehousists, because Jesus believed in the political gospel of Reaganism otherwise known as Reaganomics and elected Regan the last Political Messiah for God’s Chosen and Ordained Nation that’s why we belong to the FCCSORR (Fundamentalist Calvinist Christian Society Of Ronald Reagan).]

Anyways, part of our plan is to fire Missives packed full of the Pure Doctrines of Saint Augustine and our Final Prophet John Calvin, the Pure Sermons of Charles Spurgeon and the words of Paul directly into our comments as a ‘preemptive strike’ against Emergent attacks on our Absolute Truth comments—and for those times when those evil Emergents  hijack our comments by inserting heretical, communist or other non-Christian words such as ‘comrade’  into our comments to make it look as if we aren’t truly regenerate and of God’s True Elect.

KenSilvaSpurgeonMissive

A Ken Silva Approved Spurgeon Missive.

Here is the genius part of our glorious plan—once these Missives are shot off they will provide a  web of Absolute Truth protection cover over all of us Discernmentalists to keep all of our Absolute Truth comments safe and Pure:

AbsoluteTruthMissivenet

Absolute Truth Mighty Fortress Missive Net packed full of Augustine, Calvin, Spurgeon and the Black Letters of Paul.

In case ye are wondering what the texts of our net say because ye are unregenerate—they read:

1 Timothy 2:10-15 (King James Version)

 10But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.

 11Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.

 12But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.

 13For Adam was first formed, then Eve.

 14And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.

 15Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.

1 Corinthians 6:9-10 (King James Version)

 9Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,

 10Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

God’s Wrath on Unrighteousness

18 For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth. 19 For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. 20 For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse. 21 For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. 22 Claiming to be wise, they became fools, 23 and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things.

24 Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves, 25 because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen.

26 For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; 27 and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error.—Romans 1:18-27 ESV.

Ephesians 5:22-24 (King James Version)

 22Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

 24Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

 That is the ACSBLOP or Appostate attacks on our Absolute Truth Comments Sheild-BLOcking Program part of our SHEALDI project—the other part includes our Space Laser Program otherwise known as DPDEWW or Direct Pure Doctrines Energy Wave Weapon. Here is a photo taken from GOIP Eye 2 which we thankfully retrieved before those evil Emergents blew up GOIP Eye 2:

Direct Pure Doctrines Energy Wave Weapon

* In case ye are spiritually blind the bottom reads: All Discernmentalists and their Absolute Truth comments saved from the attacks upon us being waged across the world by all of our enemies—those unbelieving heathens–especially those evil Emergents.

DPDEWW  operates by a GOIP MIRACL beam director–pictured below:

goipmiracl

Me operating DPDEWW.

DPDEWW also runs on Sound Doctrine Indicating Operative technology which is also called Laser Operating Apostate Chaser Enhanced Engine or SDIO-LOACEE for short. Here we are putting the finishing touches on our SDIO-LOACEE:

SDIO-LOACEE

Dr. I. Todyaso and Will Farel XV assist me in the preparation of our SDIO-LOACEE.

Another part of our industrious project  is the Emergent Reflector Sound Doctrine Missive Impure Doctrines Deflector or ERSDMIDD. Here is a picture of how ERSDMIDD works:

ERSDMIDD

ERSDMIDD takes Emergent and impure doctrines and beams  them back at our enemies while also leaving our Sound Doctrines Pure. It also beams Sound Doctrines directly into our enemies’ brains in a last attemptive effort of teaching them our ways the Absolute Truth. Another of our Missives that runs on Sound Doctrine Indicating Operative (SDIO) technology is our SDIO-Delta Star or our SDIO Missive Emegent-cy Defense System. Here Ken Silva fires off one of our SDIO-Delta Star missives SDIO-Delta Star II ironically codenamed ‘Ken Silva:’

sdiodeltastar2-kensilva

GOIP Missive Defense Against antichrists and apostate Christians.

The main part of SHEALDI is our Satellite Defense Network to prevent  evil Emergent signals from crossing streams with our Pure signal streams and hijacking our Absolute Truth comments. Here is our SHEALDI Satellite Defense Network at work:

SHEALDI Satellite Network

The results are shown below:

SHEALDIdamage

Putting together all of our complex and convoluted simple project—you’ll never have to worry about evil Emergents hijacking and hacking into your Pure Absolute Truth comments by inserting heretical, communist or other non-Christian words into them such as ‘comrade’ ever again.

Before SHEALDI:

EmergentHijackedComment

The recent Emergent attack on Truthslayer’s computer by hijacking his comment to me and inserting a communist word into it to make it look as if he isn’t truly regenerate and of God’s True Elect as he “didn’t write ‘comrade’ as a matter of fact that word does not exist in (our) discernmentalist dictionary.”

After SHEALDI:

SHEALDIfiedComment

What things will be like from now on now that we have initiated SHEALDI  on all of our and our fellow Discernmentalists’ computers.

And that is all:

Recording of the applause from the recent Convention of Discernmentalists after SHEALDI was unveiled and set up by GOIP Labs.

Death To Socialism

November 2, 2009

briannocommies

Our GOIP Bot 3000 has just discernmentalized a wonderful list outlining some of our Master Plan—here it is:

  1. End Medicaid, Medicare and the VA. This was a liberal plan to simply redistribute wealth from the rich to the needy. These plans are both expensive and unsustainable and the time is now to cut the plug. If you are elderly or a veteran, then you are on your own. If you have enough wealth, then go get your own health plan. However if you cannot afford a health plan, then consider yourself a leach on society. You are dragging down this great country.
  2. End Public Schools. Obama just got on television and delivered a message to all the children in public schools in the nation. How wrong is that? The president has no business talking to our children. All he wants to do is spread his liberal agenda to their innocent minds. There is only one solution to all of this. All children should be home schooled. Also the wealthy can send their children to expensive private schools, but the inexpensive public schools are just a burden on society.
  3. End Unemployment Insurance. Unemployment insurance is just wrong. It is redistribution of wealth in its purest form. I am supposed to give my hard earned tax money to some retard that can’t even hold a job? Give me a break. They can always get a job at McDonald’s or picking up the trash. This is just a way of rewarding laziness, and it needs to come to a full stop, now!
  4. Private Roads. Where in the constitution does it say that our government is responsible for creating roads? No where. All roads should be private, and the better road the more it should cost. There are plenty of poor people that may not be able to afford to travel on the better roads, and I have one response. Tough crap! Now that you don’t have unemployment insurance, maybe you will have more motivation to finally get a job.
  5. End Air Traffic Control. Do we really need our government controlling our air ways? The entire system is probably corrupt, and should be eliminated. Liberals will argue that air traffic control makes air travel safer. How stupid! All it does it drives up the cost. We need to make air travel more affordable and the first step is eliminating air traffic control.
  6. Burn Down All The Libraries. I know one thing for sure. Libraries would not exist if not for liberals. Now that Obama’s approval ratings are falling off a cliff, let’s get rid of one of the bastions of liberalism, libraries. That will show them. If people want to read, then they can buy their own books. Why can’t liberals understand that simple fact?
  7. No More Taxes. The beautiful part of my plan is that we no longer need to pay taxes. Even some good conservative people like to read a good book once in a while, but is it really worth our freedom? I for one am going to stop paying taxes immediately and then hopefully the Chosen One, Barack Hussein Obama, will follow my simple plan to eliminate socialism in our lifetime. I encourage all my readers to stop paying taxes as a protest to socialism.

Young-Socialist-1905

We  would also like to add in outlawing Sunday School as Sunday School is a communist plot to decieve God’s True Elect into accepting socialism—for Sunday School was invented by ‘Robert Raikes, editor of the Gloucester Journal and (a theological liebral), who saw the need to prevent children in the slums descending into crime.’  This is nothing but the false gospel of socialism and ‘that old line of liberalism’ otherwise known as the Social Gospel as Saint John MacArthur clearly exposes:

We also plan on making Fundamentalist Calvinistic Christianity the only legalized religion and all others illegal.

Glorify God And Support War

November 1, 2009

war

If you don’t believe in war, you don’t believe in Jesus—why, because Saint John MacArthur said so:

Also because Saint Augustine’s words are above Jesus’ words. Our resident Redneck GOIPer adds: 

The Iraqi War is God’s War

  OK everyone listen up. I am going to go over a subject that many liberals may not want to know. That’s right, God is supporting our troops. This is not the Alliance of the Willing, nor is it an American war, this war is the will of God. We are just mere pawns in God’s master plan for happiness for all humanity.

Let’s start off with the simple fact Muslims are going to hell. I didn’t say ALL Muslims are going to hell, but let’s say 99.99% will know the heat of Dante’s inferno. Only accepting Jesus Christ as your lord and savior can one spend eternity with God. So what are the odds that any self respecting Muslim will accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior. I am guessing .01%, but suffice it to say, that hell is LOADED with Muslims.

Anyways point made. If they are going to spend eternity in hell, do they really deserve all that oil? Who made the oil anyhow? God did, and these guys can’t even recognize the sacrifices his Son made for all of humanity. Talk about looking a gift horse in the mouth. Talk about ingrates. Just thinking about it makes my blood boil.

It is clear to God and I that these ingrates don’t deserve this oil any more. There I said it. It’s not about Weapons of Mass Destruction, taking down an evil dictator, or creating a beacon for democracy, it’s about OIL. God created a decoy, so we can get into this vile country, so we can have their oil. God wants us to have their oil. We are going to heaven and they are going to hell.

But liberals want to ignore the immense glory of Lord Almighty. His mighty hand is guiding our troops to victory, but God is quite busy fighting the sand monkeys. He needs our help by fighting the liberals. So here’s the next piece of news. God hates liberals as much as I do. Liberals may say they have accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior, but God knows they are lying. Hell if I can tell they are lying, don’t you think that God can as well?

Speaking of which, it is hard enough putting up with liberals here on earth. Do you really think that God would make us suffer with liberals in heaven. Hell no. Not only are there no towel heads in heaven, there aren’t very many liberals either. Of course, God lets a few liberals into heaven each year. We need someone to clean the toilets.

So I want to personally thank God for guiding our troops, and also for the best Christmas present of all. Iraq’s oil. Yea, God! We get a bunch of oil for killing a bunch of people that were going to hell anyhow.  That’s what I call a win – win.

We here at the Official GOIP and the Online Discernmentalist Mafia sites agree. Praise God and pass the ammo!

29 12 2007—- # of heretics we hope our weblogs slay with their blog ammo of Absolute Truthiness.

Boycott Disney Or Else…!!!!!!!!!

October 30, 2009

Bak

Recently one of our faithful GOIP Political Agents—Shelly The True Republican discovered an evil Emergent plot set up within Florida to corrupt our Pure Children. Here are the deets:

Walt Disney And Cussing Lie-berals

October 27th, 2009 | Category: Briefly Patriotic

From the very start, Walt Disney tried to “normalize” miscegenation, mor(m)onism and bestial pedophilia so I guess it was just a matter of time before his company hired a homo activist to run the whole company.

Also, I got a call from some lie-beral defeato-crat that ended up, like all of them calls do, with them cussing and profaning the name of Jesus…cuz that’s what lie-berals do.

Listen to Shelly’s podcast as well. My adoptive dad and I agree that Disney was an evil Emergent lie-bral apostate and that the Disney Corporation is  run by evil Emergent Spiritual Terrorists bent on enslaving our Pure Children and teaching them the false and socialist doctrines of liberalism. Parents for the good of our Pure Elect children Boycott anything remotely related to Disney.

Global Warming: Praise God!

October 30, 2009

global_warming