Posts Tagged ‘Evangelical Right’

New Quick And Painless Way

June 27, 2011

To Remove Jesus From Your Heart:

Have you ever asked Jesus into your heart? What about accepting Jesus as the Lord and Savior of your life? Or receiving Jesus to fill your God-shaped hole? Is Jesus more important to you than any other religious leader? If you answered yes to any of the following—congratulations you’re not even a Real and True Christian and most likely worship Satan, the Pope or Mary as your dark lord and master a False Convert.

If you have found that you were rated a False Convert—never fear Todd Friel with Brannon Howse’s help have introduced a new quick and pain-free way to reverse your status and make sure that you become a True Convert this time around. Introducing the new surgical procedure to surgically remove Jesus from False Converts’ hearts: Operation JesuScopic Surgery! Why let Jesus fool around in your heart when you can have your heart filled with the Puritan Hard Drive (PHD)—now with twice the amount of John Owen’s fatalistic arrogance!

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Fanatic for Jesus calls John MacArthur’s Jesus: “New Age.”

May 20, 2011

“All those who truly love Christ and care about the truth have a solemn duty to defend the truth by exposing and opposing these lies that masquerade as truth. If we fail in that duty because of indifference, apathy, or a craving for the approval of men, we are no less guilty than those who actively spread the lies.”

~John MacArthur, Excerpt from Unholy Trinity

Donna Martin aka Fanatic For Jesus is on record as proclaiming that the Premillennial Dispensationalist’s Christ is a “New Age” Christ:

Even-though as we all know John MacArthur the Ways of the Master himself (P. B. U. H.) believes in Premillennial Dispensationalism and the Rapture. In fact John MacArthur has stated with Absolute Certitude that “Every Self-Respecting Calvinist is a Premillennial Dispensationalist Rapture Believer” so obviously Donna Martin aka Fanatic For Jesus isn’t really a Fanatic for the True Jesus of the Bible: John MacArthur’s Jesus. Repent Donna Martin aka Fanatic For Jesus before it’s too late—for the End is nigh—don’t be a fool and get Left Behind with the unregenerate non-Elect heathen reprobates and Postmodern Unbelievers…believe in Premillennial Dispensationalism and the Rapture or Else! By the way it’s not too late to stock up on our fine and quality John MacArthur approved hand-crafted RaptureHatches before the Rapture occurs this Saturday.

America’s True Founders

July 4, 2010

This July 4th remember the True Founders of America by buying our new Bible based on the American Gospel. Who are America’s True Founders you may ask? Well  the answer should be simple right:

 Which of these writers influenced the political philosophy and origins of the founding documents of the United States of America:  President Thomas Jefferson, John Calvin, and/or Saint Thomas Aquinas? Easy, right?  The answer is President Thomas Jefferson.   You know, Jefferson, the author of the Declaration of Independence, and one of the many founders who threw off the religious tyranny of then-England and safeguarded the separation of church and state in our government. WRONG!  If you are one of the 80% of  students in the U.S.A. who will be reading textbooks published in Texas, you wouldn’t know that President Thomas Jefferson is a writer who influenced the intellectual origins of our nation.    Instead, you will be taught that Protestant “reformer” John Calvin  and medieval-minded, pre-rational-thinking Catholic Saint Thomas Aquinas are the true influences upon our nation’s founding documents. 

By buying Our Pure Bible you’ll support our cause and learn these True Facts and more:

The Patriot’s Edition of the 1599 Geneva Bible is the same Scripture, word for word, that the Pilgrims brought to America nearly 400 years ago. This new edition, however, features a prayer by George Washington, which begins…

“O eternal and everlasting God, i presume to present myself this morning before thy divine majesty, beseeching thee to accept of my humble and hearty thanks, that it hath pleased thy great goodness to keep and preserve me the night past from all the dangers poor mortals are subject to, and has given me sweet and pleasant sleep, whereby i find my body refreshed and comforted for performing the duties of this day, in which i beseech thee to defend me from all perils of body and soul…”

This edition also includes the following historical documents, which are based upon Biblical principles:

•The Magna Carta

•The Mayflower Compact

•The Declaration of Independence

•The Articles of Confederation

•The Constitution of the United States

•Amendments to the U.S. Constitution

•Rules of Civility & Decent Behavior

ENDORSEMENTS:

“The publication and promulgation of the 1599 Geneva Bible will help restore America’s rich Christian heritage and reclaim the culture for Christ.”

Dr. D. James Kennedy, Senior Pastor of Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church

Buy one or two or three or even more and remember to also oppose the Mosque at “Ground Zero” just like Sharin’ Whiplash does.

P. S. Remember Separation of Church of State is a heretical lie from the pit of hell cooked up by secular humanist liberal atheistic crackpots.

Anti-Discernmentalists Bash Our What Would Ronald Reagan Do? Campaign

February 6, 2010

Dear fellow GOIPers,

We are under attack by anti-capitalist anti-Christians aka Democrats, athiests, Emergents, Red-Letter Xians and labor unions. How dare they bash our campaign with liberal unbiblical bible verses at that! We must stop their attacks and continue our WWRRD? campaign at all costs. Help support our campaign by giving us money and donating to The Theocratic Calvinist Christian Fascist Party’s Fundamentalist Absolute Truth Final President Ronald Reagan Legacy Foundation. We need your help so that we can name more stuff after Final President Reagan to help preserve and protect his fragile Sovereign Legacy over America—God’s Holiest and Chosen Nation.

In Brannon Howse, Eric Barger and Final President Reagan‘s Holy Truth Warrior names, Jesus’ name  Amen!

Dr. Don  Jobson, Dr. Truthslayer, Dr. I. Todyaso and Dr. Arthur McJohn.

God’s Holy Trinity of Orthodox Stem-Cell Scientists Revealed

November 1, 2009

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John MacArthur Backs Our GodPod

November 1, 2009

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John MacArthur backed IPod set to only pick up CCFP approved listening materials like the King James Bible as read by Darth Vader, John MacArthur sermons, Way Of The Master radio, Rush Limbaugh and tons of other CCFP materials. Automatically set to screen out the Glen Beck program as his political views are Orthdox— his religious views however are satanic. The CCFP IPod comes preloaded with a library of John MacArthur and John Piper sermons, the ESV bible, the MacArthur study bible and the Scofield study bible.

If you force your kids to come to Ron Luce Hitler’s Youth Group For True Christians—your kids will own one of these before leaving our camp.

Global Warming: Praise God!

October 30, 2009

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Absolute Theocracy: Our Goal

October 30, 2009

Here is a picture of what America should look like after we completely train your kids in our ways. America—a Proud Theocratic Nationone nation under the bible, fundamentalism and puritanical Calvinism. Praise God!—-

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And here is a picture of the liberal apostate America before our holy conquest and crusade:

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Pure Rapture Teaching

October 15, 2009

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Council for National Policy founder, Tim LaHaye with the antiChrist and Skeletor

Even Skeletor and the Anti-Christ believe in Tim LaHaye, the Rapture and The Left Behind series—so if your kids are cool like us, they will believe in them too or be forced to believe in them by us. Afterall the Rapture is Pure biblical teaching and not a manmade invention and heresy.

Who Are God’s Only Inerrant Party

October 15, 2009

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James Dobson my adoptive daddy and I are mad at the apostate liberal Republican Party for not backing the candidate that we endorsed—so we created our own Conservative Republican Party for True Christians: The Calvinazi Party otherwise known as The Theocratic Calvinist Christian Fascist Party or CCFP for short.

We are truly God’s Only Inerrant Party instead of those liberal apostates God’s Only Party—the Republican Party.