Archive for August, 2010

New Hideous Hybrid Found

August 29, 2010

In a  horrible freak radioactive accident of nature: Ken Silva, Brannon Howse, Jim Wallis, James Dobson, Todd Friel, Jan Markell, Brian McLaren and a whole host of others combining their anti-Glenn Beck powers have mutated—becoming SHAT—the antiBeckian Shark-Cat. Quite frankly we are disappointed with all the liberalism and apostasy in our very Discernmentalist ranks.  We are not surprised with liberal apostates Wallis and McLaren being ungodly and anti-American but Ken, Brannon, deddy, Todd and Jan…come on, Remember in order to be Truly Godly, one  must be for America First.  So remember Soli America Gloriae!

Brian McLaren’s Newest Sinister Plot Revealed

August 25, 2010

Ken Silva Retorts– In a recent post Brian McLaren has revealed to us that he plans to build a 13 story Emergent mosque complete with a shopping center, Starbucks coffee shop, an olympic sized swimming pool among other modern conveniences. Ken Silva says that this doesn’t surprise him as he has already “apprised” to the world that Brian has celebrated the pagan Islamic holiday of Ramadan. Ken fears that these are the last days when more and more apostates fall to the winds of false and ear-tickling doctrines in an attempt to eradicate John MacArthur’s Absolute Biblical Truth.

Not only has Brian’s latest plans struck fear into the very core of Ken Silva’s heart and soul and being—his plans have stirred up controversy among the Online Discernmentalist Community as not only does Brian plan on dedicating his Purpose-Driven Emergent Seeker-Sensitive mosque to Anne Rice. He also plans on building this Emergent travesty near one of the most sacred, hallowed and holiest sites among all Christo-Fascist Truth Warriors—Ronald Reagan’s Birthplace.

Eric Barger says that we all must Take A Stand against this—quote: “Everything I’ve needed to know about ( the Emergent Church and) Islam I learned on 9/11.”  Brannon Howse and Todd Friel are already planning an anti-Glenn Beck, anti-Social Justice and anti-Brian McLaren mosque Rally in the works. Keeping you apprised this is GOIP and OD Mafia News signing off…

 

John Armstrong Possibly A Commie

August 13, 2010

McCarthy Ministries has done it again. We’ve detected another closet Commie: John Armstrong of Act3 Ministries. Note John Armstrong teaches that the church should be united despite denominational differences. Unity is a codeword for liberalism and liberals believe in Socialism and Communism. We also caught John Armstrong saying: “We should compromise truth to preserve unity. Anything goes and it often does.”

Act3 also supports the Commie agenda of Human Rights:

The modern idea of human rights is genuinely important, as I will attempt to show next week by looking at what happened in Germany after the Second World War. But to argue that human rights only belong to natural law, or to modern Enlightenment concepts of liberty, is wrong. Freedom, equality of opportunity, dignity and mutual respect for all persons is not simply the product of secular political and social thought. It is rooted in the New Testament and the practice of the early church.

All we have to say to John is repent…we need our Church to be too small for the sake of our Absolute Right Wing Truth.

Phil Johnson And Hugh Jass Film Productions Present…

August 5, 2010

Not to be outdone by Discovery Channel’s Shark  Week’s ratings grabs, Phil Johnson and Hugh Jass Film Productions cash-in with the newest Summer Blockbuster Discernmentalist hit: Attack OF The SEMI-PELAGIANS starring the United Methodist Church. The creatures known as Semi-Pelagians are semi-aquatic animals that are half Augustinian and half Pelagian and are mostly found in Arminian churches most notably the United Methodist Church. The Semi-Pelagians soon begin revolting and attacking the semi-Donatist faith of Discernmentalism prompting our hero Phil Johnson aka Pastor Hugh Jass and his loyal crew to discernmentalize them. Attack OF The SEMI-PELAGIANS: coming soon to a Discernmentalist TV station near you!