Archive for the ‘Daft Punk GOIPers’ Category

STATUS QUO JOE!

May 4, 2019

status quoeb

‘They call him Status Quo Joe…she was his Discernmentalist rose lost in the flow…saying sayonara made him cry…but that’s not what they meant when they said goodbye…’

Eric Barger stars as Status Quo Joe—a down on his luck heresy hunter always ready to defend the Status Quo at all costs. Joe gets called to investigate a church outside of town—running into old troubles a long the way—causing him to discernmentalize by misunderstanding that any new way of doing church leads to Roman Catholic mysticism. After seeing couches and candles—Joe becomes increasingly convinced that this Emerging church has apostatized to contemplative meditation and therefore is no longer Bible-believing. Just when Joe is about to call down the wrath of God upon this church—the ghost of John Knox appears accusing Joe of being guilty by association for reciting Apostolic Creeds and also of being a reprobate (as Joe is an Arminianist Nazarene and Arminianism is the Road Back to Rome). Tearfully Joe bids farewell to the Status Quo for now—at least until his Doctrines are considered Pure once again.

—This film features the song Tokyo Joe based on the film of the same name which ironically this movie is not based on.

 

Brannon Howse Exposes Richard Land’s New World Order

October 5, 2010

Item #1 on Brannon Howse’s New World Order Agenda plans for fellow Discernmentalists is to discernmentalize the following groups of people and their unbiblical *(note: anti-American) agendas: Marxists, Muslims, Mormons, Globalists, and Richard Land of the Southern Baptist Convention.

“Sadly,” notes Brannon Howse (our beloved Führer); “I believe the Southern Baptist Convention’s Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission headed by Richard Land is being used to push radically unbiblical, politically correct, and anti-American agendas. As a member of a solid, Bible teaching SBC church, I am very concerned about Land’s activities. However, I think even those that are not a member of an SBC church should be concerned since Land is speaking as an evangelical.”

Reasons why we all must now take a stand in God’s Absolute Sovereign Wrath by supporting  Brannon Howse’s Truth War against Richard Land of the Southern Baptist Convention’s Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission:

  • He’s recently and slowly joined the Axis of Evil—we have Absolute Proof:
  • He’s aided the terrorists as Land Endorsed the U.S. Muslim Engagement Project and is helping to build Mosques
  • He’s too soft on Emergent and Red Letter Christian heretics as Land endorsed a book by Radical Jim Walls
  • He’s a closet postmodern universalist/pluralistic ecumenist for Land gives credibility to Mormonism
  • He is for illegal aliens invading our hallowed God-blessed land as (Richard) Land promotes Obama’s amnesty agenda
  • He is for the Antichrist and the Antichrist’s New One World Religous Government and Economy (NWO) for Land gives credibility to global governance

How you can help aid Brannon Howse as a Discernmentalist and Truth Warrior:

While there may be a few liberal “Christians” that applaud Land as he gives credibility to globalism, ecumenicalism, Mormonism, Neo-Marxism, amnesty and Islam; I know many conservative, Bible-believing Christians are eagerly waiting for a swift and Biblical response by SBC leaders to Mr. Land’s unbiblical and unequally yoked spiritual endeavors. I have had several SBC pastors express their concern to me about Mr. Land’s activities. In fact, many SBC pastors and members have requested this article so they might distribute it to other SBC pastors and members in hopes Land can be stopped from using his position, the SBC name, and SBC funds to give credibility to these radical causes.

We all must now band together at once as people of different denominational and faith backgrounds in the tradition of Worldview Weekend to take a stand against Richard Land and his apostasy from Brannon Howse’s One World Fascist American Theocratic Agenda Absolute Biblical Truth and his treasonous behavior towards the American Gospel.

Introducing The New Standard ODM Reformed Rating Meter

June 11, 2010

So how well do you rate on our Reformed Rating Scale?

Various Levels of Reformedness (not in order according to degree)

AR – Almost Reformed (has only heard of R. C. Sproul)
BR – Barely Reformed (has heard of R. C. Sproul and thought about buying some of his tapes)
CR – Critically Reformed (more negative than John MacArthur on the Charasmatic movement)
DR – Doubtfully Reformed (only attends this church for the music)
ER – Errantly Reformed (a Four Point Calvinist)
FR – Fantastically Reformed (owns a set of Calvin’s Commentaries)
GR – Grossly Reformed (the kid you would want your daughter to date but not marry)
HR – Hopefully Reformed (the kid you would want your daughter to marry for his money but you would keep his name on your prayer list)
IR – Incredibly Reformed (even the Session doesn’t believe half of what this guy believes)
LR – Loudly Reformed (maybe right, maybe wrong, but never in doubt)
MR – Mostly Reformed (watches football on Sunday afternoons with the family and reviews the Shorter Catechism during halftime)
NR – Newly Reformed (has recently begun attending a Reformed church and has had to buy a new bookshelf for all the additional reading material)
PR – Possibly Reformed (spoke up once at Bible Church and told to try the PCA)
SR – Staunchly Reformed (can quote limited sections of the Shorter Catechism and the Confession of Faith)
TR – Truly Reformed (has memorized the entire Shorter Catechism and can quote the Confession of Faith by chapter and section)

Finally A True Bible-Believing God-honoring Email Domain Address That God Is Proud Of

March 31, 2010

                 

A thank you from New World Order Weekend

What can a @Reagan.com Email address do for you? you may ask:

Why Your email address with Reagan.com will send a clear message to the recipient: You are a True Bible-Believing, God-honoring,  Regenerated Elect, Frozen And Chozen Reagan Conservative and Fundamentalist Christian, period.

Each @Reagan.com address is built on the ideal that each person should pay for and leave God to control his or her hate speech communications via the latest Holy Spirit chip technology built by GOIP Labs and featured in the new iTruth made  by the the ODMafia Research and Discernmentalist Labs for truth warriors by truth warriors.  At the same time it should allow you the freedom through American Gospel and Bible-based techniques to check your email and calendar at anytime and from any place in the world under American sovereign imperial control where there is an internet connection using a computer or your smart phone. Your @Reagan.com address will even work in all 52 states of America including the newly annexed States of RonaldReaganistan and Rumsfeld’s Democratic American Republican State of Bushraqistan also your @Reagan.com address will work in America’s future Provinces including Illegal Immigrant Cheap Labor And Tacos’ Land Of Profitable Beach Resorts For Rich White American Tourists, Canuckistan: Northern Province Of Eh!, Urup: Our Ancestors’ Land aka The Old Country and the  separate Territories of We Kicked Ur Butt Twice Island, Whiny White-Flagged Pushovers: Land Of Easy-Surrenders and United Popeland

Our Holy Spirit chip techonology features a State of the art email and calendar system for true conservatives and those who are Truly Elected to Salvation @reagan.com. What are some of the other features of the @Reagan.com Email address—why it is:

Simple
And by simple we mean complex. Plus you Only get what  we think you need when we think you need it.

Efficient
Advanced synchronization for:  Blackberry, iPhone, iTruth, and many other GOIP Windows Mobile devices. Advanced Outlook synchronization and collaboration.

Secured
Check your email over an encrypted connection. We have built in tracking technology as well.

Offers Less Spam
Our advanced spam filter delivers comprehensive protection from spam and phishing messages. We are also able to censor 10% more Emergent, Liberal and anti-Calvinist Arminian messages than other email providers.

Conservative
Yes “not free”…because free stuff equals Marxism, Communism and Socialism.

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Plus as a free bonus gift to you we offer you free
Weekly updates from Michael Reagan and other Reagan Conservatives if God specially chooses you to be worthy enough to receive them.

Own your @Reagan.com Email address for the easy payment of Only $34.95/yr plus other funds we decide to steal from the poor. An @Reagan.com Email address is  the righteous and Godly way to spend your money. Don’t waste your hard earned money on unregenerate non-Elect reprobated poor lazy bums and slobs like those Red-Letter Christians do as the poor were created to be poor and destroyed from the foundation of the world. Create your personal @Reagan.com email today using the form that we will provide you with in order to make sure of your Secured Elected Salvation and that you are Truly of the Inerrant Right who are always right.

Tyrone V. Hoofendorfer On Vice President Joe Biden’s Murder Spree

November 20, 2009

Tyrone V. Hoofendorfer 5:27PM (11/15/2009)

If Bush was the President and this happened all of the liberal ass wipes (pardon my redundancy) would be screaming about Bush; somehow blaming him. Why aren’t your stupid America hating mouths shooting off now when we have this America hating Communist in office???

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[H/T] Auto Blog

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Tyrone V. Hoofendorfer Discernmentalizes Crime And Military Towns

November 20, 2009

11-17-2009 @ 1:06PM

Tyrone V. Hoofendorfer said…

I also would not put stock in this story. They are talking about “Military towns.” San Antonio has over a million people, but in the story, and in the San Antonio picture, they outline an area that is NOT a military area, with a stated population of a little of 2,000. Yes it is not a great part of town, but it is several miles away from Lackland AFB, and has NOTHING to do with it. Even in the story, the idiot author wrote “an area near Texas’ Lackland AFB.” What city of over 1 million people does not have a high crime area? STUPID, STUPID STORY!!!!

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[H/T] Daily Finance

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The Look Of A Heretic Or How To Spot A Liebral

November 19, 2009

We’ve shown you the look of a discernmentalist. Now we present to you—with our Absolute Truthiness—the look of a heretic. Now you will be able to tell when a liebral is in your vicinity trying to corrupt your Pure Doctrines. Our resident Redneck GOIPer has more to add with his 9 Steps To Identify Liberals:

I have already stated that liberals are killing this country, but it is quite hard to tell a liberal from a normal God Loving American. I have developed this simple system to help us weed out the good guys from the bad guys (liberals). I call it my Liberal Identification System (LIS).

1. Minorities. Don’t ask me why, but the vast majority of niggersblacks and chinksasians vote Democrat, and therefore they are making their liberal bias known to the rest of the world. I have talked to them, but these people are just plain stupid! They cannot understand for example the greatness of the war in Iraq, and are focused on WMD rather than the larger plan. So point one in the Liberal Identification System is to write off minorities as liberals. They are really not worth our time. After all, there is a reason that the founding fathers made the White House white.

2. French. French people are probably some of the most arrogant and ungrateful people in the world. They would speaking German right now it it were not for us. And how do they pay us back? They defied Saint Bush in the run up for the Iraqi War. It is unbelievable to me that after 5 years after the war began, they still cannot see the wisdom of the war. French people must be blind or stupid, but either way, one thing is clear, they are liberals.

3. People with accents. I just got back from Europe, and they all tried to speak to me in English. Despite their efforts, their English was HORRIBLE. They really need to practice more if they ever want to get in good with me and other conservatives. Plus you know that God speaks English perfectly. Heck, I don’t even think that God can understand some of these retard Europeans.

When I was in the airports in Europe, I noticed one thing right away. You don’t have to remove your shoes at airport security. These people are clueless. Removing our shoes is like a ritual to fight away terrorists and evil. It is a communion against terrorism. Since we have started removing our shoes at the airport, has there been another 9/11? Case closed. I felt like teaching them the American way, but I knew they would never understand. Why? Because they are all liberals.

4. College Professors. This is a special and perhaps the most dangerous breed of liberals because they are educating our young people. That’s the scary part. They devise these wicked curriculums, and the underlying goal is to get young people to think and use logic undermining key Republican and conservative ideals

Think about this. Many of Saint Bush’s economic advisers come from American universities. And these liberals are piping the same old lies. Our economy is in recession, the dollar is weak, the price of oil is rising, and federal spending is out of control. It makes me laugh. We all know the truth. Our economy is strong, the dollar is strong, price of gas is falling, and Saint Bush’s government is the most frugal in the world. There is only one conclusion to make. College professors are liberals.

5. Charities. Is there any doubt that Bill Gates is a liberal? He quits his day job to give away his money to improve world health. This is such a stupid idea I am not sure where to start. If I had that kind of dough, I would stop working so I could have more time to spend it. I really wish that Gates had called me, because I could have found a lot more fun ways to spend his money.

Worse yet. World health? I have already demonstrated that non Americans are liberals. So why in the world would we want to help them? In a subtle way, Gates is aiding the enemy by helping non Americans. Ultimately, Gates will get his punishment, but either way, charities such as these are chock full of bleeding heart liberals. They are probably the worst kind.

6. Non Christians – God doesn’t like non Christians and God does not like liberals either. Don’t you see that the two go together? God sent down his one and only son to save the world, and these non Christians are choosing to ignore God’s generosity. There is only one place for these people in God’s eyes, and in my eyes too.

7. Immigrants. Just another bunch of free loading poor people that don’t speak English. They want us to treat them as equals. HAHAHA. Fat chance, hermano. You guys need to go back to your disgusting little country, enter legally, get a legal American job, learn English, pay taxes, and maybe just maybe, we will treat you with a certain level of respect. Furthermore, any sign that you also might be a liberal, and your butt is out of here. Got that, Pedro?

8. Writers. What does the liberal media consist of? Writers. Lots of them. I know this is a slippery slope, because not all writers are liberals, but almost all of them are. It is a fair bet that if someone is writing a piece and it is not for Fox News, then they are feeding the liberal media machine. If it were not for the liberal media, our soldiers would be home, and the war of terror would be won. The war of terror is a war of emboldenment, and every slimy piece they write further emboldens the enemy. Remember Abu Ghraib? Of course you do, and so do the terrorist. What about Guantanomo Bay? The liberal media keeps on printing this stuff, and we will never win the war on terror, and our children will never be safe.

9. Hollywood. We have a dilemma as conservatives. I like my action movies as much as the next guy, but the people behind these films are liberals with a capital L. I have actually considered boycotting movies but it just isn’t any fun, even though every time I know that I am putting more money in a liberal’s pocket. Why can’t someone come out with some great movies by conservatives? Enough is enough already.

After having traveled Europe, there is one thing that is clear. The world is full of liberals. So this is just a humble beginning at weeding out the good people from the bad. God’s job is much easier figuring out who does to heaven or hell.

Codename ACSBLOP *(Augustine Calvin Spurgeon Black Letters of Paul)* Unveiled

November 6, 2009

GOIPSHEALDILogo

Introducing The Strategic Heretical Emergent Arminian & Liberal Defense Initiative or (SHEALDI) for short otherwise known as Codename ACSBLOP *(Augustine Calvin Spurgeon Black Letters of Paul)* or also known by it’s better known nickname ‘Heresy Wars/Absolute Truth Wars‘—now available and on the market from GOIP Labs. This top secret project has been in the making for several years now. Here is our Political Messiah, Final President and the Last Real President, Ronald Reagan with myself (Don Jobson) going over our top secret plans:

donjobsonwithronaldreagan

Final President Reagan with myself about to deliver the March 23, 1983 speech initiating SHEALDI. I was 19 years old then.

[Editors’ note: You’ve heard of those heathen Sedevacantists—well, we are Sedewhitehousists, because Jesus believed in the political gospel of Reaganism otherwise known as Reaganomics and elected Regan the last Political Messiah for God’s Chosen and Ordained Nation that’s why we belong to the FCCSORR (Fundamentalist Calvinist Christian Society Of Ronald Reagan).]

Anyways, part of our plan is to fire Missives packed full of the Pure Doctrines of Saint Augustine and our Final Prophet John Calvin, the Pure Sermons of Charles Spurgeon and the words of Paul directly into our comments as a ‘preemptive strike’ against Emergent attacks on our Absolute Truth comments—and for those times when those evil Emergents  hijack our comments by inserting heretical, communist or other non-Christian words such as ‘comrade’  into our comments to make it look as if we aren’t truly regenerate and of God’s True Elect.

KenSilvaSpurgeonMissive

A Ken Silva Approved Spurgeon Missive.

Here is the genius part of our glorious plan—once these Missives are shot off they will provide a  web of Absolute Truth protection cover over all of us Discernmentalists to keep all of our Absolute Truth comments safe and Pure:

AbsoluteTruthMissivenet

Absolute Truth Mighty Fortress Missive Net packed full of Augustine, Calvin, Spurgeon and the Black Letters of Paul.

In case ye are wondering what the texts of our net say because ye are unregenerate—they read:

1 Timothy 2:10-15 (King James Version)

 10But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.

 11Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.

 12But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.

 13For Adam was first formed, then Eve.

 14And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.

 15Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.

1 Corinthians 6:9-10 (King James Version)

 9Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,

 10Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

God’s Wrath on Unrighteousness

18 For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth. 19 For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. 20 For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse. 21 For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. 22 Claiming to be wise, they became fools, 23 and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things.

24 Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves, 25 because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen.

26 For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; 27 and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error.—Romans 1:18-27 ESV.

Ephesians 5:22-24 (King James Version)

 22Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

 24Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

 That is the ACSBLOP or Appostate attacks on our Absolute Truth Comments Sheild-BLOcking Program part of our SHEALDI project—the other part includes our Space Laser Program otherwise known as DPDEWW or Direct Pure Doctrines Energy Wave Weapon. Here is a photo taken from GOIP Eye 2 which we thankfully retrieved before those evil Emergents blew up GOIP Eye 2:

Direct Pure Doctrines Energy Wave Weapon

* In case ye are spiritually blind the bottom reads: All Discernmentalists and their Absolute Truth comments saved from the attacks upon us being waged across the world by all of our enemies—those unbelieving heathens–especially those evil Emergents.

DPDEWW  operates by a GOIP MIRACL beam director–pictured below:

goipmiracl

Me operating DPDEWW.

DPDEWW also runs on Sound Doctrine Indicating Operative technology which is also called Laser Operating Apostate Chaser Enhanced Engine or SDIO-LOACEE for short. Here we are putting the finishing touches on our SDIO-LOACEE:

SDIO-LOACEE

Dr. I. Todyaso and Will Farel XV assist me in the preparation of our SDIO-LOACEE.

Another part of our industrious project  is the Emergent Reflector Sound Doctrine Missive Impure Doctrines Deflector or ERSDMIDD. Here is a picture of how ERSDMIDD works:

ERSDMIDD

ERSDMIDD takes Emergent and impure doctrines and beams  them back at our enemies while also leaving our Sound Doctrines Pure. It also beams Sound Doctrines directly into our enemies’ brains in a last attemptive effort of teaching them our ways the Absolute Truth. Another of our Missives that runs on Sound Doctrine Indicating Operative (SDIO) technology is our SDIO-Delta Star or our SDIO Missive Emegent-cy Defense System. Here Ken Silva fires off one of our SDIO-Delta Star missives SDIO-Delta Star II ironically codenamed ‘Ken Silva:’

sdiodeltastar2-kensilva

GOIP Missive Defense Against antichrists and apostate Christians.

The main part of SHEALDI is our Satellite Defense Network to prevent  evil Emergent signals from crossing streams with our Pure signal streams and hijacking our Absolute Truth comments. Here is our SHEALDI Satellite Defense Network at work:

SHEALDI Satellite Network

The results are shown below:

SHEALDIdamage

Putting together all of our complex and convoluted simple project—you’ll never have to worry about evil Emergents hijacking and hacking into your Pure Absolute Truth comments by inserting heretical, communist or other non-Christian words into them such as ‘comrade’ ever again.

Before SHEALDI:

EmergentHijackedComment

The recent Emergent attack on Truthslayer’s computer by hijacking his comment to me and inserting a communist word into it to make it look as if he isn’t truly regenerate and of God’s True Elect as he “didn’t write ‘comrade’ as a matter of fact that word does not exist in (our) discernmentalist dictionary.”

After SHEALDI:

SHEALDIfiedComment

What things will be like from now on now that we have initiated SHEALDI  on all of our and our fellow Discernmentalists’ computers.

And that is all:

Recording of the applause from the recent Convention of Discernmentalists after SHEALDI was unveiled and set up by GOIP Labs.

Ken Silva Scandal # 2

November 4, 2009

kendance

Ken Silva caught  singing “worldly music” just last year which promotes “trance formational dancing.” We of the Online Discernmentalist Mafia thought that Ken was supposedly ‘retired from performing and music to devote his time to his self-proclaimed self-righteous ministry fulltime.’  Here is the video evidence which clearly speaks for itself:

Ken for shame—Saint John MacArthur would be appalled. Repent Ken repent of thy apostasy and slippery-slope into worldliness lest ye be found among the unregenerate and non-Elect.

Send Us Mail Or Else

November 2, 2009

Here is our address:

1 The Way

Dobson Ranch, AZ,

Jesusland, USA

Here is a picture of our lovely ranch—the Mighty G…od Fortress Space Station on Mars:

DeathStar_size_chart

And here is a map of our lovely ranch for your convenience in case you’re forced to come visit us:

DeathStar1

death_star2

We would love to hear from you or force you to visit us! Here our Director of Tourism, Brannon Howse, leads some of our Party guests on a tour of our marvelous ranch and extraordinary headquarters:

vaderhowse

One of the main highlights of our wonderful headquarters is all of  our Mexican and Canadian slaves that we’ve harvested over the years with thanks to our supporters. Here they are before our GOIP Bot 3000 turned them into small living fuzzy teddy bears:

_41806854_mexicans416

seattle2007_canadians

And here are some of  our slaves after  our GOIP Bot 3000 turned them into small living fuzzy teddy bears as they are more manageable and efficient when they are smaller:

final%20ewoks(1) 

And here are some of our GOIP Troopers suiting up for the Absolute Truth War:

GOIPTroopers

Our Beloved  Führer Ron Luce without makeup on:

250px-Palpatine_ROTJ

Anyways we all hope to hear from you and see you soon! Drop us a line and stop by any time!