Posts Tagged ‘Shelly The Republican’

Jim Wallis’ Secret Communist Marxist Manifesto Discovered

February 24, 2010

Adolf Howse and his researchmentalists team have discovered  Jim Wallis’ Secret Communist Marxist Manifesto hidden in a Texas bus station locker somewhere. Above you can see how menacing and evil looking it is. How it got there, who really planted it and why it is in German (Adolf Howse’s favorite language besides Bible-Based English/slander) we don’t really know?

Although Dr. Truthslayer has theorized that Jim Wallis was trying to cover up Adolf Howse’s slander lies libel expose on Wallis. Dr. I. Todyaso agreed as did Dr. Arthur McJohn. Dr. Will Farel XV however was under the opinion that there was a secret code hidden in the German vowels. Erich Badger is now working around the clock with our affectionate Uncle Ken Silva’s help in trying to crack any secret codes in it if they really are there.

Jan Markell and Doug Parris have pledged their undying support in our Absolute Truth War ways of slander, hatred, bigotry, misrepresentation and arrogance calling Red-Letter and Emergent Christians to repent of the truth their anti-Capitalism, anti-America and anti-American Gospel ways. All we can say is thank God and Ronald Reagan for Adolf Howse’s saving the Southern Baptist Convention from their sure destruction by Jim Wallis–otherwise Prestonwood Baptist Church may have had to hear such biblical unbiblical messages as this:

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Coca-Cola Drinking Christians: Neo-Marxism In The Church?

February 16, 2010

In many churches and their buildings you may find red Coke machines. This is wrong as red is an evil color. Red is the color of communism, Satan and Leftist Christians or so-called Christians that want to mute the words of Paul and other writers and only follow Jesus’ words. They call themselves “red-letter Christians.”
 

 They feel it is convenient to blot out the words of Paul on homosexuality and focus in on the good deeds Jesus talks about. Most are pacifists who reject an “eye for an eye” (Leviticus 24:19-20). They focus on Jesus’ words about helping the poor, ministering to “the least of these” (Matthew 25:40), loving our enemies, etc. That justifies abandoning hundreds, even thousands of condemning verses in the Bible they choose to wish away. That makes homosexuality OK and war wrong! And remember, Paul and the others in the Bible represent Jesus’ words. They were His spokesmen. Some who believe this way practice a form of neo-Marxism and others would call it “Christian Marxism” — an oxymoron if there ever was one. They note that the early church shared everything (socialism).  A close cousin to this is “liberation theology.”
 
Those who are high profile in this movement include Jim Wallis, Tony Campolo, Brian McLaren and his Emergent bunch, and the National Council of Churches. Jim Wallis says, “In those red letters, Jesus calls us away from the consumerist values that dominate contemporary American consciousness.”  Translate that to mean he loathes capitalism and opts for socialism and/or communism. We believe the proportion of Coke drinking Christians is equal if not higher than the proportion of Emergent and Red Letter Christians. We believe these things have to do with eachother.

 

Coke use to contain trace amounts of cocaine within it—who is to say they have really removed all the traces of cocaine from their “secret formula.” Anything secret sounds fishy to us—sounds New Agey and  New World Orderish to us as well—in fact, We Know that The Coca-Cola Company is a Global company and globalism is one way in which the New World Order/One World Secret Religious Mystery Babylon Government operates. Could it be that drinking Coke leads to Christians becoming Emergent and Red Letter Christians? Our Research Robot Monkeys have investigated these links further—here are their findings:

We Know that Emergent churches are into being relevant and making a point by incorporating secular and worldly pop culture into their theology. We also Know that Coke is a modern icon idol of secular and worldly pop culture. In many churches and their buildings you may find red Coke machines—many of these churches support the “Seeker-Sensitive” movement—they feel the need to cater to the needs of Coke drinkers everywhere regardless of whether or not they are regenerated True converts or unregenerate reprobated False converts. Red is also a popular color of Kool-Aid which Leftist Liberals love to drink therefore since we have reason to believe that cocaine is still part of Coca-Cola’s “secret formula” and liebrals want to legalize all sorts of drugs—Coke is a way to brainwash the masses in church to communism and the false gospel of social action and social change aka the Social Gospel which is just disguised socialism in Christian dressing.

We are appalled as Coca-Cola Drinking (Red-letter/Emergent) Christians join the chorus of those who believe in a utopia with no wanting or war. Yes, that will come someday, but not the way they think. This could come as a shock to them just because they have little to no regard for other parts of the Bible. They have almost created a new meaning for the term “biblical illiteracy.” 

It is tragic that these folks are frequently called “the evangelical Left.” They don’t have even 1% of evangelical theology in a single bone in their body. They cherry- pick the verses they like, almost exclusively the red letters of Jesus. It is also a great tragedy that we’ve allowed Coca-Cola products into our churches knowing how they are agents of the New World Order/One World Secret Religious Mystery Babylon Government opposing our Pure Bible-based Doctrines of wrath, hate, war, torture, greed, exploitation and Capitalism.

Anti-Discernmentalists Bash Our What Would Ronald Reagan Do? Campaign

February 6, 2010

Dear fellow GOIPers,

We are under attack by anti-capitalist anti-Christians aka Democrats, athiests, Emergents, Red-Letter Xians and labor unions. How dare they bash our campaign with liberal unbiblical bible verses at that! We must stop their attacks and continue our WWRRD? campaign at all costs. Help support our campaign by giving us money and donating to The Theocratic Calvinist Christian Fascist Party’s Fundamentalist Absolute Truth Final President Ronald Reagan Legacy Foundation. We need your help so that we can name more stuff after Final President Reagan to help preserve and protect his fragile Sovereign Legacy over America—God’s Holiest and Chosen Nation.

In Brannon Howse, Eric Barger and Final President Reagan‘s Holy Truth Warrior names, Jesus’ name  Amen!

Dr. Don  Jobson, Dr. Truthslayer, Dr. I. Todyaso and Dr. Arthur McJohn.

Discernmentalists Teach True History

January 14, 2010

Some of our Secret Discernmentalist Agents have infiltrated a Canadian website to spread lies propaganda revisionist history the Absolutely True history of Lucy Maud Montgomery:

Montgomery for McCain

Postby TrueChristian » Wed Oct 29, 2008 7:51 am

Our beloved author LM Montgomery, as a conservative, would have clearly voted for John McCain if she were a US citizen and living now.

Obama wants to pull out of Iraq and declare defeat. President Bush has been winning the war against terrorism and spreading democracy in the middle east. McCain, as a war hero and experienced senator, will continue to defeat terrorism. If Obama becomes president, we are going to get hit by terrorists. Joe Biden has admitted this will happen.

I encourage every elligeble us citizen, in the spirit of Lucy Maud Montgomvery, to voet next week for Senator McCain.

For God so loved the world, he gave his only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in Him, would not perish but receive everlasting life. – John 3:16

Postby Wild Roses » Wed Oct 29, 2008 7:49 pm

McCain might be a war hero, but beyond that, he isn’t much else but a hypocrite. This U.S. citizen proudly voted for Obama.

I’m sure Captain Jim would be quite proud of me.

“We couldn’t buy the logic that Jesus was the only way. That meant the Buddhists and Hindus who had never even heard of Christ Almighty were doomed to hell, while Ku Klux Klan members were not.” From THE HUNDRED SECRET SENSES by Amy Tan.
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Postby TrueChristian » Thu Oct 30, 2008 10:13 am

So you would rather vote for Obama and get hit by terrorists instead of voting for someone experienced who could prevent a terrorits strike?
For God so loved the world, he gave his only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in Him, would not perish but receive everlasting life. – John 3:16
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Postby Shelly » Thu Oct 30, 2008 4:52 pm

You don’t know that terrorists would strike with Obama in office. Nor do you know that terrorists would leave the US alone with McCain in office.

And bringing democracy to Iraq? Ha! More like occupation.

Nope. I’m not voting for McCain. (Or Obama.)

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by TrueChristian » Sat Nov 01, 2008 9:31 am
Obama’s own running mate said that they were going to get hit by terrorists, and hes got years of foreign policy experience. And we are bringing democracy to Iraq. Now they can vote for there leader without fear of getting poisoned with nerve gas cant they?

The terrorists haven’t attackedus again because President Bush has been beating them. President Bush said we have to fight the terrorists there so we dont have to fight them here and hes been doing that. I think people have forgotten baout 911. Thats why its so imaportant that we vote for McCain like Lucy Maud would have.

For God so loved the world, he gave his only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in Him, would not perish but receive everlasting life. – John 3:16

Postby Shelly » Sat Nov 01, 2008 3:23 pm

I will NOT vote for McCain. Nothing you can say is going to change that.

Also: Who are you to say how LMM would’ve voted if she lived in the States?

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Postby Wild Roses » Mon Nov 03, 2008 5:02 pm

The terrorists didn’t hit us when Bill Clinton was office–they hit us when George W. Bush, a conservative, entered office. If Bush had been paying attention to the memos he gets while he’s on vacation, the attack wouldn’t have happened in the first place. Also, we’re not ‘beating’ the terrorists. In Afghanistan, they have regrouped.

And, why haven’t be bombed and invaded other countries where dictators still rule? Why is Iraq so important that it gets singled out but not the other countries where dictators hurt their people?

At least Obama has foreign policy experience. What is Sarah Palin’s? She can see Russia from her house. (She also has less political experience than Obama. He has years as a community organizer, President of the Harvard Law Review, was in the Illoinois State Senate, and in Senate. Palin only has two years as mayor of a town smaller than where I live, and two years as gov.) Furthermore, you are twisting Biden’s words.

I am so sick of McCain’s years as a POW being trotted out. What about the fact that he cheated on his first wife–a wife who waited for his return home for years, only to get dumped so he can marry a rich woman who stole drugs from her charity to feed her addiction. What about his role in the Keating scandal in the 1980s? What about the fact that he has more votes on veteran benefits than has Tim Johnson (who was in a coma!). McCain is a veteran–but somehow can’t make it to DC to enable a bill on veteran benefits to get passed.

I don’t think anybody in the U.S. has forgotten about 9/11. However, it was SEVEN years ago. You want to know a tragedy that doesn’t get enough attention? Hurricane Katrina. New York City has come back from the ashes, New Orleans is still stuck in the shams.

Montgomery may have been a conservative, but she was a Canadian. Based on her books, she only a had fleeting interest in US politics.

“We couldn’t buy the logic that Jesus was the only way. That meant the Buddhists and Hindus who had never even heard of Christ Almighty were doomed to hell, while Ku Klux Klan members were not.” From THE HUNDRED SECRET SENSES by Amy Tan.
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Postby TrueChristian » Tue Nov 04, 2008 11:42 am

Alquaida bombed the US Cole while Clinton was in office and he failed two chances to kill Bin Laden. The Bush administration said they warned the airline industry about a possible attack. You’lljust have to take Pres. Bushs word for it.

We are beating the terrorists. They have not attacked us again, have they? This is because President Bush has them on the run or in hiding incaves. But Presient Bush doesnt get credit for that? He was the most popular president in modern history and now everyones forgotten about that because the economies bad.

Palin isn’t running for president, McCain is, so it isnt as importnatn that she has foreign policy experience. Ronald Reagan was another governor without foreign experience and he defeated communism and was one of the greatest presidents.

Montgomery would have voted for McCain if she were still alive and a US citizen because she supported world war I–Another war against evil. She didn’t believe in the cut and run strategy.

For God so loved the world, he gave his only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in Him, would not perish but receive everlasting life. – John 3:16
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GOIP Discernmmentalists Uncover A Secret Muslim Plot

December 3, 2009

Muslims are gaining the momentum to beat us to world domination. How dare they! Hear what my colleague in Discernmentalizations Dr. Truthslayer has to say:

“Muslims, within the span of 20-50 years, will essentially control the entire world because of their numbers;” We also believe that Muslims will build mosques on Mars very soon….perhaps even by 2018 if we do not act fast!

This is why we must take the world back for Jesus as we The Theocratic Calvinist Christian Fascist Party (GOIP)  and American Calvinists are predestined and Elected to rule the world—for God’s Absolute Glory—by God’s Absolute Sovereign Decree from the foundation of the world. We Absolute Truth Warriors also need to become more aggressive in our Absolute Truth War efforts against the dark and false religion of Islam. Here Saint John MacArthur explains the True and Pure Gospel of the Truth War against Mooslems:

Der Führer Ron Luce has also ordered us to step up our efforts in our Truth War as he has said that “secularism (Emergent and liberal Christianity) and Islam are almost indistinguishable, in that they’re in this war together to destroy Christianity.” Indeed this is Absolute Truth because our Führer said so and why we must  never compromise on preaching the whole ‘discernmentalist’ truth of the Truth War against all liberal, apostate, heretics such as Muslim-enabling Emergents!

R. R., This Diploma Is For You!

November 24, 2009

We of God’s Only Inerrant Party and The Online Discernmentalist Mafia do hereby award you, R. R., Redneck Republican, this  honorary diploma of academic excellence and achievements in the online world of Redneck GOIP Republican Discernmentalism. Congratulations!

We will now recite your essay that you wrote for your graduation speech:

The Problem with Liberals

…  Grade: A- for suggesting that Liebrals can actually go  to heaven as they are of the unregenerate, reprobated, unsaved, non-Elect sinners.

Liberals are gullible. Liberals are being led around by the nose by the liberal media. Take global warming as an example. Liberals want to believe all of these liberal chicken-little scientists that the earth is warming. The reality is that we are just going through a little hot spell, and they are using that as a trick to have the government control our lives.

We of the OD Mafia and GOIP agree as the earth warming is a Sign of Jesus’ sure return and the Blessed Rapture. Praise God!

Liberals are naive. Remember when Saddam Hussein told the UN that he had no weapons of mass destruction? The liberals and the idiot United Nations wanted to do give Hussein the benefit of the doubt and do an inspection. Saddam Hussein was a liar and an evil man and we needed to take him out whether he had WMD or not. Believing anything other than that is naive.

Yes the UN is the Anti-Christ’s headquarters of a New World Order Of A One World Religious  Government. Evil indeed—we heard from Brannon Howse that Saddam controlled the UN while he was alive.

Liberals are weak. One of the first things our idiot Communist president, Barry Obama, did was close down Guantanomo where we were torturing some of the most evil enemies of our great nation. Liberals are against torture because they are weak. For America to succeed in the war against terror, we must torture MORE not less. We should be opening up a chain of Guantanomo prisons throughout the world. Only then will the world realize how strong we are as a nation.

We know—Dr. Truthslayer warns that even preaching on gentleness leads to liebralism.—Don Jobson. How dare those liberal fools try to turn our Jesus (the True one)  into Mister Rogers when we who are God’s True Elect know that He was like General Patton and General Douglas (John) McArthur.—Arthur McJohn.

Liberals are no fun. Liberals like to point at Abu Ghraib as American foreign policy gone bad. In fact, it is the opposite. During George W Bush’s term, America had the best foreign policy in the history of time. Actually, Final President Reagan had the greatest foreign policy of all time as it is the Pure Biblical Standard for all foreign policy for all time. The Bible clearly teaches this Absolute Truth. Insofar as Bush followed the political Gospel of Reaganism which the Bible teaches, he was okay in our book. However, George W. Bush is a closet socialist and a globalistAbu Ghraib was just a few of the youngsters having a little fun at the expense of the evil Muslims. Liberals definitely need to lighten up a bit.

Amen!—only we Fundamentalists are fun as our system begins with the word fun, whereas liberalism begins with lie.—Arthur again.

Liberals are going to hell. This is a key and critical point. Not all liberals are going to hell, but a lot of them are. We are concerned with your wording here. The reason is that God is a Republican. God wants liberals to fail but he also gave humans free will because he wants all humanity to choose Republican. Here. The ramifications are dire because heaven is full of Republicans and HELL has a lot of Democrats. Liberals need to get their heart right with God. And here.

Actually all liberals and Demon-c-rats are going to hell as they were born unregenerate, reprobated, unsaved, non-Elect sinners and God chose them as vessels of Wrath and destruction from the foundation of the world. However, we True GOIP Republicans were born regenerate, predestined Elect, saved vessels of Glory according to God’s Absolutely Sovereignty. If you don’t like this Pure and Sound Bible teaching—suck it up,  because this is the Pure Gospel. We thought your opening thesis was strong until you fell into the error of the man-centered Grace-hating man-loving romanist papist semi-Pelagian heresy of Arminianism. This is why we had no choice but to give you an A- for effort despite your critical, heretical and soul destroying error.

Liberals are bad with money. The reason that we are in the current economic crisis is 100% because of liberals. Of course, liberals are doing everything in their power to escape blame by blaming tons of innocent people. They want to blame the Fed for printing too much money. Then on top of that, they blame Bush for entering a costly war with no exit. Can you believe it? They think that Bush was not frugal. The reality is that liberals need to own up for creating this crisis so we can move on.

We agree—Capitalism is the Absolute Truth Biblical economic system.—Arthur McJohn.

Liberals hate our military. This one makes me a little perturbed. We owe our freedom and the best quality of life on the planet to our military. It is the ultimate in disrespect. This is also related to why liberals are so weak.

Yes war is God’s Divine Command to His Holy Elect. This charge I commit unto thee, son Timothy, according to the prophecies which went before on thee, that thou by them mightest war a good warfare; 1 Timothy 1:18 King James Bible AV1611

Liberals hate freedom. Liberals want all of us to be slaves to a Orwellian Big Brother government. The government tells us what to do, and we just nod our head like puppy dogs. Liberals are submissive, and conservatives love freedom.

Theocracy is the only True Freedom. 

“A new heresy has been discovered,” he said. “We must stamp out this burst of hell-fire before it spreads over the surface of the earth…. Freedom of conscience is a doctrine of the devil…. Better to have a tyrant, however cruel, than permit everyone to do what he pleases.”

—John Calvin. Which is why we must triumph over Satan’s philosophy of liebralism.

Conclusion. There is more, but liberals should start working on improving themselves as people. It is not only important for themselves but for the nation as a whole. Rush Limbaugh (another one of the great ones) has it right. We are in a battle between good and evil. Right now, Satan is winning and the hateful racist non America Barry Obama is president. For America to succeed Obama must fail. We must unite as a nation again the evil that Obama represents. Liberals repent.

Checked and graded by: Don Jobson and Arthur McJohn, Online Discernmentalists and key GOIP Officials.

Introducing The New Special Forces Of God’s Only Inerrant Party

November 24, 2009

A Special Dobson Ranch Pentagon Announcement

Redneck Special Forces Training photo. Shelly The True Republican is in the background.

The Pentagon of the GOIPers—Dobson Ranch—the Death Star Mighty G…od Fortress Space Station on Mars  announced today the formation of a new 500-man elite Fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF) or more formally known as the GOIP Controlled United States Redneck Republican Special Forces (GOIP CUSRRSF).

These Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Mississippi, Missouri, Oklahoma,Tennessee and Texas boys will be dropped into Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists:

1. The season opened today.

2. There is no limit.

3. They taste just like chicken.

4. They don’t like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus.

5. They are DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE for the death of Dale Earnhardt.

We expect the problem in Iraq to be over by this coming Friday. Here our resident Redneck GOIPer, R. R. stands with his pickup truck ready for duty and his gun ready for action:

Tyrone V. Hoofendorfer On Affirmative Action

November 20, 2009

Tyrone V. Hoofendorfer

1:20PM Nov 18th 2009
Hey Jrotced, could you please shut the F^ck up already!! You act as though you are the only one here with an opinion. You call everyone who has a negative opinion of Obama a bigot while in reality YOU are the disgusting bigot. You are to full of yourself to realize it. I myself am a VICTIM of the wretched practices of “affirmative action.” There isn’t one damn thing affirmative about this practice. I was poorer than ALL the black kids going to my school, yet they had the audacity to say things like “all you white people are rich,” as about 30 of them bravely chased me to my home in the projects. I was not considered for promotions in my early 20’s though I attended night school and worked hard. The higher paying jobs went to the Hispanics and Blacks with ABSOLUTELY NO COLLEGE; and they were fresh off the street. A young black lady in the H.R. dept. admitted this to me. This happened to many of my friends as well. I could go on and on with MANY atrocious stories, but the only stories YOU would be interested would be the stories of the struggles of a black man. WHY? Because YOU are a BIGOT!!!!!!!!
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Our Standard Nationalist Flags

November 20, 2009

Our Party’s Nationalist Flag—soon to be the sole and official flag of God’s Chosen NationAmerica:

The Personal Flag Standard Of  Our Beloved  FührerRon Luce:

 

The Look Of A Heretic Or How To Spot A Liebral

November 19, 2009

We’ve shown you the look of a discernmentalist. Now we present to you—with our Absolute Truthiness—the look of a heretic. Now you will be able to tell when a liebral is in your vicinity trying to corrupt your Pure Doctrines. Our resident Redneck GOIPer has more to add with his 9 Steps To Identify Liberals:

I have already stated that liberals are killing this country, but it is quite hard to tell a liberal from a normal God Loving American. I have developed this simple system to help us weed out the good guys from the bad guys (liberals). I call it my Liberal Identification System (LIS).

1. Minorities. Don’t ask me why, but the vast majority of niggersblacks and chinksasians vote Democrat, and therefore they are making their liberal bias known to the rest of the world. I have talked to them, but these people are just plain stupid! They cannot understand for example the greatness of the war in Iraq, and are focused on WMD rather than the larger plan. So point one in the Liberal Identification System is to write off minorities as liberals. They are really not worth our time. After all, there is a reason that the founding fathers made the White House white.

2. French. French people are probably some of the most arrogant and ungrateful people in the world. They would speaking German right now it it were not for us. And how do they pay us back? They defied Saint Bush in the run up for the Iraqi War. It is unbelievable to me that after 5 years after the war began, they still cannot see the wisdom of the war. French people must be blind or stupid, but either way, one thing is clear, they are liberals.

3. People with accents. I just got back from Europe, and they all tried to speak to me in English. Despite their efforts, their English was HORRIBLE. They really need to practice more if they ever want to get in good with me and other conservatives. Plus you know that God speaks English perfectly. Heck, I don’t even think that God can understand some of these retard Europeans.

When I was in the airports in Europe, I noticed one thing right away. You don’t have to remove your shoes at airport security. These people are clueless. Removing our shoes is like a ritual to fight away terrorists and evil. It is a communion against terrorism. Since we have started removing our shoes at the airport, has there been another 9/11? Case closed. I felt like teaching them the American way, but I knew they would never understand. Why? Because they are all liberals.

4. College Professors. This is a special and perhaps the most dangerous breed of liberals because they are educating our young people. That’s the scary part. They devise these wicked curriculums, and the underlying goal is to get young people to think and use logic undermining key Republican and conservative ideals

Think about this. Many of Saint Bush’s economic advisers come from American universities. And these liberals are piping the same old lies. Our economy is in recession, the dollar is weak, the price of oil is rising, and federal spending is out of control. It makes me laugh. We all know the truth. Our economy is strong, the dollar is strong, price of gas is falling, and Saint Bush’s government is the most frugal in the world. There is only one conclusion to make. College professors are liberals.

5. Charities. Is there any doubt that Bill Gates is a liberal? He quits his day job to give away his money to improve world health. This is such a stupid idea I am not sure where to start. If I had that kind of dough, I would stop working so I could have more time to spend it. I really wish that Gates had called me, because I could have found a lot more fun ways to spend his money.

Worse yet. World health? I have already demonstrated that non Americans are liberals. So why in the world would we want to help them? In a subtle way, Gates is aiding the enemy by helping non Americans. Ultimately, Gates will get his punishment, but either way, charities such as these are chock full of bleeding heart liberals. They are probably the worst kind.

6. Non Christians – God doesn’t like non Christians and God does not like liberals either. Don’t you see that the two go together? God sent down his one and only son to save the world, and these non Christians are choosing to ignore God’s generosity. There is only one place for these people in God’s eyes, and in my eyes too.

7. Immigrants. Just another bunch of free loading poor people that don’t speak English. They want us to treat them as equals. HAHAHA. Fat chance, hermano. You guys need to go back to your disgusting little country, enter legally, get a legal American job, learn English, pay taxes, and maybe just maybe, we will treat you with a certain level of respect. Furthermore, any sign that you also might be a liberal, and your butt is out of here. Got that, Pedro?

8. Writers. What does the liberal media consist of? Writers. Lots of them. I know this is a slippery slope, because not all writers are liberals, but almost all of them are. It is a fair bet that if someone is writing a piece and it is not for Fox News, then they are feeding the liberal media machine. If it were not for the liberal media, our soldiers would be home, and the war of terror would be won. The war of terror is a war of emboldenment, and every slimy piece they write further emboldens the enemy. Remember Abu Ghraib? Of course you do, and so do the terrorist. What about Guantanomo Bay? The liberal media keeps on printing this stuff, and we will never win the war on terror, and our children will never be safe.

9. Hollywood. We have a dilemma as conservatives. I like my action movies as much as the next guy, but the people behind these films are liberals with a capital L. I have actually considered boycotting movies but it just isn’t any fun, even though every time I know that I am putting more money in a liberal’s pocket. Why can’t someone come out with some great movies by conservatives? Enough is enough already.

After having traveled Europe, there is one thing that is clear. The world is full of liberals. So this is just a humble beginning at weeding out the good people from the bad. God’s job is much easier figuring out who does to heaven or hell.