Archive for the ‘Absolute Certainty’ Category

Toilet Paper Shortage scheme of the Even Deeper State

March 28, 2020

 

A Conspiracy Theory about Conspiracy Theorists

pink poo_LRGPooAnon break wind: our deep undercover researchmentalist expertmentalists have uncovered shocking secrets. In hidden documents created by the Even Deeper State it was revealed that QAnon and Trump plotted a toilet paper shortage scheme to distract the public from their nefarious activities. In newly leaked documents it was uncovered that Trump is working for the Even Deeper State aka the Mole People and that the funder of the Mole People are the Mooch Brothers who also pay QAnon who are all undercover actors working for the Even Deeper State as led by Yuri A. Nuz and Yura Rek Tum.

These expertmentalists have traced this scheme via factual charts:

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The reason for toilet paper is because Mole People needed it to ward off the Lizard People who left chem trails in their radiated water. This all makes  sense and is totally true because the  Lamestream Media refuses to report these FACTS.

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When this all blows over will Trump be charged? Including the FACT that he had Jim Henson put to death with help from UFOs. This is all TRUE because the Lamestream Media refuses to report it.

 

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A totally real photo, not photoshopped nor made up. The Media doesn’t want you to see it.

John MacArthur (PBUH) to re-release Poop Wars: Fighting for Superstitions; Incoherence and Irrelevancy against Emergents; Liberals; Atheist Arminians; Chaotic Charismatics and Catholic Scientists in an Age of Scientific Fact and Reason

March 13, 2020

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Never to shy away from controversy our fearless Pope of all Truth over the Truth War (TPUT) decides to re-release his book Poop Wars amidst the toilet paper shortage as a warning to America to turn back to what the Bible aka his Holy Doctrines (PBUT) teach. In one of his sermons from the book (TPUI) he exposits (as God only recognizes expository sermons as topical preaching is too liberal and clearly not PURELY REFORMED enough): America needs to repent from using toilet paper—lest we fall into the angry hand of our Sovereign God before the Rapture—MY Schofield-inspired STUDY bible is Absolutely CLEAR!

Our Holy Sovereign Creator, God of Wrath, is most pleased when we (the Elect) obey and submit to the Orthodox Doctrine of the Holy Pooping as clearly laid out in His Holy Inerrant and Infallible Word. When the Israelites obeyed our God of Wrath not love (Theological liberals want to delude you into thinking God is a lovey dovey inclusive God of let’s hold hands and sing kumba-yah but the Bible is clear on this matter when it says: “God is an all consuming fire, a God of Vengeful Wrath and no respecter of persons”) by defecating outside, they gave God the glory by defecating in a holy manner.
One other thing I would like to say to Bible-minded Christians is to remain Bibliocentric and hold onto Biblical Integrity, one ought to confront all Christians living in the sin of using toilet paper as toilet paper was invented by Pagan Chinese, who worshipped false gods and not our God of Wrath as Revealed in the Inerrant and Infallible Holy Bible. Also, paper itself was invented by Pagan Egyptians to inscribe their demonic and blasphemous scriptures to their false gods, in their dark, morally and spiritually corrupt religious practices—so that if the Elect falls prey to the sin of using toilet paper, they in affect may be welcoming in false gods (disguised as seducing demons) into their lives. So as we can see using toilet paper is an unholy sin of humanistic pride against our Divine Sovereign God of Wrath, who in His Absolute Sovereignty created (6000 years ago in 6 literal days) our hands, wool, lace or hemp, wood shavings, leaves, grass, hay, stone, sand, moss, water, snow, maize husks, fruit skins, or seashells, and corn cobs for us to use to clean our anuses. Toilet paper then is for that old line of theological liberals, evolutionists, secular humanists and atheistic communists and not True Bible-Believing Christians.

Sharon Whitley agrees and reminds the Elect that using toilet paper is as unbiblical and Popish Pagan as the false worship of those Romish holidays of Christmas and Easter. Clearly the road to idolatry and statue worship!  So remember:

Wipe your ass with soft paper from a roll/And to hell lose your very soul /Wipe your ass with rough leaves and grass/Please our loving Sovereign hate-filled God of ABSOLUTE WRATH!

In other news: MacArthur (TPUH)’s son is being investigated for fraud.

Mark MacArthur, a son of Pastor John MacArthur of Grace Community Church in California, has been charged by the Securities and Exchange Commission along with a wealth management company he founded with defrauding their advisory clients.

We’re Being Invaded…

February 17, 2020

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Dearborn, Michigan 2019—thanks a lot libturdz.

“Everyone talks about religious liberty, but no one believes it. So let us be blunt about it: we must use the doctrine of religious liberty to gain independence for Christian schools until we train up a generation of people who know that there is no religious neutrality, no neutral law, no neutral education, and no neutral civil government. Then they will get busy in constructing a Bible-based social, political, and religious order which finally denies the religious liberty of the enemies of God.” ~Iman Mullah Gary North (Source)

Western Civilization is falling thanks to libruls. Muslimen are invading and taking over our Great Country spreading Shariya’s laws. Why just the other day I was visiting the local grocery store and they had *halal* (*shocker) food—if that’s not proof that we’re being invaded then I don’t know what is. No other religious custom has their food in our grocery stores—how come the Moslems get to spread their foods? Diversity that’s why—another evil liebral plot to kill all white conservative bible-believing heterosexual men. I’ve never heard nor seen an International section before in our grocery stores in my lifetime and if there is it must be part of the leftist globalist agenda. What’s happening to our culture—why must libbies and muslims destroy it? What happened to grocery stores only being filled with ethnically American bible-believing foods from our culture? Why are good conservative American bible-believin’ Christian non-immigrant native foods like lasagna; quesadillas; matzah balls; baguettes; chop suey; or kebabs; etc. no longer allowed? Why must leftist librul socialists force us to accept diversity? I don’t see any diversity in Islam.

Eric Barger warns:

How true. Perhaps this is why the secularists have systematically attempted to delete the Christian history of our Founding Fathers any way they can?

It is truly in our hands to see that succeeding generations understand, respect and are given the opportunity to live by the principles that truly guided our nation to the past greatness which we still enjoy remnants of today.

In closing, allow the words of Noah Webster, the father of American education, to resound in your heart. They are still the truth today.

“Education is useless without the Bible…The Bible was America’s basic text book in all fields.”

“In my view, the Christian religion is the most important and one of the first things in which all children, under a free government ought to be instructed. . . . No truth is more evident to my mind than that the Christian religion must be the basis of any government intended to secure the rights and privileges of a free people.”

While America is thinking about basketball playoffs and American Idol finalists perhaps it would be good to understand the plan that Islamists have to overwhelm, dominate, and control our government and legal system. That’s right. And they are DOING IT RIGHT NOW!

If you care about your freedom to express the Gospel and your kids and grandkid’s ability to live free lives you need to know that what I and others have been warning about is now coming true behind the scenes and all of this while our media stand idly by complicit to help turn America in favor of Islam and Sharia Law. That’s right. Just keep sitting on the sidelines and we will all pay the consequences. Get Lutzer’s book and Take A Stand!

 

Legacy: The Late Ken Silva Wanted To Rename Southern Baptist Convention newly rediscovered documents reveal

December 3, 2019

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Quote the late Ken Silva: “As one who was ordained as an SBC pastor in the mid-90s I kind of agree that a name change for the SBC would help clarify where this denomination is currently at. Filled as it is with leaders who don’t have to lead, hiding as they do behind its Idol of Autonomy, the SBC’s becoming anything goes.”
(Source: Apprising Ministries)

How dare those Southern Baptists believe in Baptist doctrine! We must most mightily put a stop to this. While we’re at it we must put a stop to the SBC’s Idol of Credobaptism as well. Anything goes in this Truth War, right? As we all know the Roman Catholic Church and the Reformers taught that Infant Baptism is the only correct way to baptize. How dare those Southern Baptists lack Doctrinal Purity in their man-centered idolatry of baptizing believers!

We must also bring back State Churches… who needs to keep religion and government separate anyways? We most greatfully thank you our late Affectionate Uncle Ken for being in the front-lines in getting our important message across that God wants America to be enslaved to theocratic tyranny. Rushdoony, David Barton and the great and all powerful Worldview Weekend couldn’t have done as great a work as he did.

We vote that we also place statues of Spurgeon and the great General and Holiest Apostle of our Truth War: our Pope of all Truth John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) in the sanctuary of every Southern Baptist church. Phil Johnson agrees and Rhoblogy adds that a statue or two of James White—“Rockstar” wouldn’t hurt as that would provide extra protection from Doctrinal corruption. Speaking of Spurgeon whom Discernmentalists love to quote from ala our late Uncle in Discernmentalism—our Research Robot Monkeys discovered that he was doctrinally impure so he might not be as great as Phil and his John, son!

Personally the ODMafia moves to change the SBC’s name to Saved By Calvinism as only Calvinism saves not Jesus.

A Bible Study on Never Compromising on Discernmentalist Truth

December 1, 2019

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Thank our God-ordained Party (God’s Only Inerrant Party) that America’s political system went from “working” to the current state where one party blocks the other and “compromise” is seen as a bad thing. We and we alone, are the reason for never compromising in holding our values in American politics as we alone hold to the whole Bible and Absolute Truth with Absolute Certainty. People who oppose Trump aren’t “almost demonic”—they are full on Satan-worshippers that includes RINOS.

As Spurgeon said:

If the world will not come to Jesus….Shall not the church go down to the world? Instead of bidding men to be converted, and come out from among sinners, and be separate from them, let us join with the ungodly world, enter into union with it, and so pervade it with our influence by allowing it to influence us. Let us have a Christian world.

Certain ministers are treacherously betraying our holy religion under pretense of adapting it to this present age. The new plan is to assimilate the church to the world by semi-dramatic performances they make the house of prayer to approximate to the theater; they turn their services into musical displays in fact, they exchange the temple for the theater, and turn the ministers of God into actors, whose business it is to amuse men. This then is the proposal. In order to win the world, the Lord Jesus must conform himself, his people, and his Word to the world. I will not dwell on so loathsome a proposal.

Our very black and white view of the bible and the world is crystal clear as our PURE theology paints all matters in a “good vs. evil” way that ignores a reality that was shades of gray and a multitude of colors. Our Pure theology teaches that in a binary, good vs. evil system there can be no “compromise” with evil—since we are the only “good” guys therefore the things we believe by extension are the bestest; most Pure; holiest good also, then ALL ELSE is bad. And not just bad, the philosophies and political positions that oppose us are the epitome of evil—the people who oppose us are demonic as the Bible says: “those not for us are against us.” This is because we have been pre-chosen by God and are “saved” and therefore PURE and “good” and HOLY—so the political views of our many enemies who disagree with us as well as the people themselves are “evil” as they are all unsaved heathens and non-Elect reprobates. In the past political parties had been free to negotiate and compromise on civic affairs but this new breed of political animal recoiled at the thought. There can be NO compromise with “evil.”

Tozer once wrote: “Compromise is everywhere, but, actually, no real union between the world and the Church is possible. When the Church joins up with the world, it is the true Church no longer but only a pitiful hybrid thing but an object of smiling contempt to the world and an abomination to the Lord!” Political correctness is a sickness and we hate politics but we must always be involved in politics in order to correct it as we’re always correct. Spurgeon also wrote: “Is politics dirty, then? Shall the Christian completely abstain? Stay out? Is there no hope?”

“Compromise” is a dirty word in the religious milieu of conservatism and our Truth War as you can see. I sat, ages ago, in many sermons and read many articles about it—having personally sat at the feet of the late great Walter Martin—being mentored by him through his recorded teachings on cassette tapes. Compromise of our “principles,” handed down from God himself, of course, is inexcusable. Who gave you the right to compromise on what God has pre-ordained? See how our TRUTH works? It keeps our religion pure and keeps pesky sheep from straying. Extended to the political realm this is a disaster for a nation. If we are on the side of all that is Holy and “good” and the side of God because we hold the only correct theology then others who don’t stand with us and God MUST be evil. They have to be evil – they oppose God! Simple, right? And so must their politics also be evil. Over time we had their theological perspective increasingly applied to civil discourse and governance. Biblical rhetoric that balkanized Christianity and created centuries of internecine wars had come to American politics with the same disastrous results.

So when you hear conservative, evangelical, and fundamentalist Christians bemoan the lack of civility in politics and American life be sure of this: they caused it, promoted it, and embrace it. The “civility” they want it for everyone else to agree with them. And anyone who doesn’t is evil and demonic.

Finally as our Pope over the Truth War John MacArthur himself (PBUH) has stated: “When it comes to matters of principle – moral and ethical foundations, biblical absolutes, the axioms of God’s Word, God’s clear commands, and the truthfulness of God Himself – it is never right to compromise.” We hope this look at what Scripture actually states opens up some of our readers who just do not get what this Truth War is all about and why we should never compromise on our Biblical values even in politics! So go forth and preach the gospel politics of Spurgeon/Tozer and John MacArthur (PBUH) without compromise and with zeal and earnest in the joy of knowing you’re doing the Lord’s work in spreading our PURE Doctrine.

Hate Calvinism Hate America: America has a Calvinist Foundation

November 29, 2019

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USA Has a Calvinist Foundation

By Theocrat 4 Life submitted to ODMafia University in fulfillment of Doctoral Degree of Theocracy degree

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Thesis: “Americans who are against Calvinism are unConstitutional.”

i have discovered that the founding fathers of the United States of America were Calvinists. They wanted a free republic, separated from the British Crown which they saw as supporting religious systems that were totally inconsistent with their faith. The first Europeans to settle in the US were the Pilgrim Fathers who were devout Calvinists, and it is through their influence that made the US the great nation it is today. Any student of US History will see that as obvious.

Supporting Argument: “It is interesting that George Washington was Calvinist, and most of his officers were Presbyterian elders. King George actually blamed the Presbyterian Church for inciting the American Revolution! Some historians, especially the English ones, not supportive of Calvinism have deliberately left this out. Most of George Washington’s army were members of Presbyterian churches.

Actually, the Presbyterian Church was the strongest church organisation in the US at that time. The Anglicans were small and their clergy were appointed from England, and they took to their heels back to England as soon as the Revolution started.”

Main Body: John Wesley, the Methodist founder, actually preached against the American Revolution. The Methodist movement was also not very strong in the US at that time, and their ministers took off back to English as soon as the Revolution broke out.

Of course, the Roman Catholic church hated the American Revolution because of its Calvinist foundation, because they hated Calvinism anyhow and treated it as a blasphemous heresy; and of course that church was backing the Spanish who had aspirations of controlling the whole country.

if the American Revolution did not happen, the whole of the US would have been controlled by Spain and would have adopted the religious system that was its foundation.

People who are Calvinist are motivated by conviction, principle and the authority of Scripture. They believe that the foundation for their salvation is that their names are written in God’s Book of Life.

Methodists (Arminians) are motivated by emotion, and make personal faith the foundation of salvation. It can be argued that this is a salvation by works and therefore not salvation as the Apostle Paul understood it.

Concluding Argument: Because the foundations of the United States of America are built on conviction and principle, and the founding fathers who wrote the Constitution were Calvinist Presbyterians, then those who live in the USA who rail against Calvinists and ridicule them may not be acting true to their own Constitution or the faith of their founding fathers. And it would be a shame for them that a guy living in a very small country in the South Pacific would know more about their history than they do!

But I want to freely acknowledge the multitude of faithful Calvinist Christians in the USA who know their history and honour their founding fathers for having the faith and determination to make their country a beacon for Christian faith, and by doing so, have created a nation well known for good Christian ministry and outreach around the world.

approvedA++- we agree. Strong arguments all around. We wish we could kick out all the non–Calvinists from our Great Country holding True to our Constitution’s principle of religious liberty for all. We also agree that those who go against Calvinism are unConstitutional as our Constitution gives us the right to Free Speech. It is a shame that so many Americans are not Calvinist as that’s simply unConstitutional! If only they would follow our Great Calvinist Founding Fathers like Thomas Jefferson author of our Declaration of Independence who said: “His [Calvin’s] religion was demonism. If ever man worshiped a false God, he did. The being described in his five points is … a demon of malignant spirit. It would be more pardonable to believe in no God at all, than to blaspheme him by the atrocious attributes of Calvin.” “Calvinism has introduced into the Christian religion more new obscenities than its leader had purged it of old ones.

Dissertation accepted

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“Nazis are Socialists;” Discernmentalists declare!

November 25, 2019

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Everyone knows that Nazis are socialists because the word “socialism” is in National Socialism just like:

  • The Democratic People’s Republic of North Korea is a democratic republic because the word “democratic republic” is in it.
  • Crime Stoppers are really criminals because the word “crime” is in Crime Stoppers.
  • Latinos/Latinas speak Latin because the word “Latin” is in their name.
  • Anti-Fascists are fascists because the word “fascist” is in the name.
  • Anti-Communists are actually communists because the word “communist” is in the title.
  • Atheists are theists because “theist” is in the word.

Find out these important illogical troll arguments and more in ODMafiaU‘s exciting new course for Online Discernmentalist Trolls: How To Troll Badly & Fail At It!

“El Presidente Exempt from Divorcees Unfaithful to the Lord” El Sandi says

November 19, 2019

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“fathered six children and worked as director of a Chabad House in Jerusalem’s Old City before coming to terms with long-simmering gender dysphoria, becoming a woman and undergoing surgery” If he couldn’t remain faithful to a wife and 6 kids – who one can see – how is he going to remain faithful to the Lord – who one cannot see ( )

That’s right divorcees are unfaithful to the Lord—however our thrice-divorced and remarried President is exempt as ElSandi has said Trump is the most faithful to the Lord President she’s ever seen in her lifetime. ElSandi has long promoted herself as a Bible-thumping, social conservative Discernmentalist and fundamentalist so has quickly discernmentalized that Trump’s divorces are to blame on sinister forces noting that Obama and Satan bear most of the blame.

Pat Robertson agrees: “When Trump came forward as a family values loving, praying man he came under spiritual attack,” said Robertson on “The 700 Club.” “This is the work of Satan, he is the enemy of all Christians. He doesn’t want to see us happy.”

“Obama never got over how Trump has beaten him as the Best Greatest Make America Great President Ever, so I bet he had some of his witch doctor friends attack him,” said Jill Swain, a Trump fan and QAnon follower.

LibertAryan GOIP Fundamentals!

November 17, 2019

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Yes means no and no means no…means no no yes to no…blah blah. Our LibertAryan fundementals:

“Good question! Everyone sure seemed to think Dr. Christine Blasey-Ford’s accusations were “sincere” and “credible”. At least, everyone in her tribe sure did.

As for the “type of country we want to live in”, I’d like to live in one where religious pluralism is encouraged and that includes all different types of Biblical hermeneutics.”

The most repulsive world I can think of is one that tries to dismiss religious fundamentals held for thousands of years–and still the mainstream even just a decade ago–as “twisted and flawed”. I mean, if you’re fixated on revolutionizing how we think of human coupling, how many more years of the “love is love” nonsense before you’re claiming we need to be more open-minded about bestiality? Or will start policing the sermons of conservative churches to make sure they’re “bigotry-free”? The adjective “Orwellian” gets bandied about a bit too much, but it seems fully applicable here.

Every attempt to compare discrimination against gay weddings toward discrimination against mixed-race weddings fails the litmus test. Nothing about a mixed race heterosexual wedding expands the definition of marriage, and no attempt to cite the Bible has passed the anti-discriminatory sniff test. The Booneville MS situation was the optimal outcome; the discriminator learned from her mistakes and it didn’t result in cancel culture. Something tells me, though, this will never be enough for the gay extremists who don’t just expect tolerance but complete validation of their behavior.

And I’m speaking as an atheist who supports gay marriages! I just think at some point they need to leave well enough alone. Let the Bible Belt states at least recognize their religious liberty. The gays can still get married in Mississippi; the state recognizes it and the Episcopal church would be happy to officiate. But most other churches should be free to say “hard pass”. You know, that whole “states rights” thing. Which probably makes me a racist. Oh well

Boycott Paul McCartney!

November 13, 2019

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We’re under attack—this time by Paul McCartney:

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at 6-14-2010

McCartney is a pathetic aging liberal fraud. He made his millions on American dollars both in record sales and concerts. He takes everything American capitalism can offer but supports every liberal cause and politician while insulting our former great president Bush. If Obama had a shred of class, which he desperately lacks, he would have disavowed McCartney’s asinine comment. (Source: a raptured URL)

Boycott Paul McCartney for being too liberal against our doctrines. Boycott Macca for supporting capitalism but insulting W and therefore hurted our feelings. Thankfully none of our own support capitalism but insulted W:

Two important news stories broke this week that reveal that President Obama is building a worldview propaganda machine. This should be offensive to all Americans in both parties for many reasons that I will explain. However, I believe that it will not be offensive to enough Americans to make a difference because our nation’s citizens have largely lost the ability to use reason, logic, and context. To those who think I am only writing this article because Obama is a democrat, you are wrong. I was one of the first conservative talk show hosts to refer to George W. Bush as a socialist and a globalist. Both parties are destroying our country. (Source: Boycott Obama’s Worldview Propaganda Machine By Brannon Howse)

The Bush presidency is the largest disappointment in the history of the modern conservative movement. The Bush presidency was supposed to be the culmination of all the hard work conservatives had done. In 1994 the “Republican Revolution” in Congress and then the control of the executive branch by Bush gave this country the possibility of returning from big government liberal garbage to the sanity of the Constitution. Well we all know what happened. The “Republican revolution” was nothing more than an increase in the same old liberal big government garbage. They sold us out!

I had my feelings about President George W. Bush when he ran for his first term. I had uneasy feelings about his so called “compassionate conservatism”. It reminded me of his father’s slap in the face of the great Ronald Regan. After Regan served his second term, George Bush senior said we needed a “kinder and gentler nation”. That was a direct insinuation that somehow Regan was not kind or gentle. It was the uneasy feelings that I had about President George W. Bush that caused me not to vote for him. I voted third party instead. When it came time to choose between Bush and Kerry in the last presidential election, I voted for Bush (while holding my nose) since I knew there was a good possibility that the Supreme Court would open a few seats. I hoped that Bush would appoint good justices and it seems he did. I will give him credit for that at least.

Here is the problem; one can point to any president and come up with something that they did that was good (well almost any president). The real question is did that president move us closer or further away from the Constitution. Bush has been a disaster concerning the question. He along with the “Republican Revolution” congress moved us to bigger and bigger government with higher spending and the huge new prescription drug entitlement program, and centralizing education. Pork barrel spending and insane amounts of money spent in foreign aid in countries with corrupt governments. Bush tried to fight the Iraq war with political correctness instead of fighting the war as if it is a war. (Source: It’s Official – President Bush Has Lost His Mind!)

This is a warning to you Obama and Paul McCartney we’re boycotting you and we hope you feel hurted by it as you count your millions and laugh in our faces.