Archive for the ‘Absolute Certainty’ Category

Everything is the Other Side’s Fault…

August 3, 2019

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The newest product from Blame & Shame Co (a division of GOIP Industries)—the Hate Radio Hat comes pre-set with a filter that automatically pre-tunes to the wearer’s personal biases. Dividing and conquering has never been easier for the Discernmentalist on the hunt for enemies. Now you’ll be able to find heresy where there is none. Turn any conservative quote into a racist one and any liberal quote into a socialist one. In example—of course Democrats are the only ones who would burn a church like Jered Ragon (founder of Abolish Human Abortion). We also have discernmentalized that Left-wing terrorism (responsible for 23 deaths between 1992-2017) is more violent than Right-wing terrorism (responsible for 217 between 1992-2017). Peace is heresy and warmongering is blessed. Being right and certain in our beliefs is more important than truth. So believe what we tell you because we told ya so.

This Just In: U2’s Bono Pulls Emergents To Hell

July 17, 2019

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Bono (Pictured)

Breaking News from the Frontlines of the Truth WarThis article will show you that not only are Bono and C. S. Lewis by guilt of association not a Christian, but that they are both really from the dark side:

Have you been fooled by this rocker, who talks about his love for Jesus, but in reality shows his love for Satan during his performances? He has an alter ego named “MacPhisto.” Did you know that MacPhisto is in The Screw Tape Letters, by C.S. Lewis. The book’s characters are demons, and MacPhisto is a demon who works hard at communicating with baby Christians to get them away from God!

“But U2 is much more than a popular rock band. U2 has a great influence in the emerging church and the contemporary worship movement. U2’s lead singer Bono is praised almost universally among contemporary and emerging Christians. Phil Johnson observes that “Bono seems to be the chief theologian of the Emerging Church Movement” (Absolutely Not! Exposing the Post-modern Errors of the Emerging Church, pg. 9).

Oh the sheer horror! The sinfully horrifyingly devilish pic above is enough to lead me away from Biblical Christianity but I’m even more horrified that the article quoted above mentioned C. S. Lewis (a known heretic). Don’t they know that C. S. Lewis is a heretic as per our Clear Teachings? In fact he’s even beloved by Emerging heretics so that makes him equally heretical in keeping with our traditions by our laws of guilt by association. Here are some of the things these Emergent heretics have said about C. S. Lewis (a heretic):

  • “Like you, I have great respect for C. S. Lewis…”—Brian McLaren
  • “I am busy because I am lazy. I indolently let others decide what I will do instead of resolutely deciding myself. It was a favorite theme of C. S. Lewis that only lazy people work hard. By lazily abdicating the essential work of deciding and directing, establishing values and setting goals, other people do it for us.” ― Eugene Peterson
  • “Following Christ includes belonging, not just believing. British author and theologian C.S. Lewis noted that the word membership is of Christian origin, but the world has emptied it of its original meaning.”—Rick Warren
  • Urban Faith notes on Rob Bell:  Bell’s view on hell is like that of C.S. Lewis (not a surprise: he directs readers to Lewis’ Great Divorce in the back of the book): people get what they want.

From all of this we can gather that C.S. Lewis (a heretic) would’ve been a U2 fan were he still around in today’s perilous times—even Bono himself has a fondness for heretic C. S. Lewis:

“Many readers of this blog will be aware of Bono’s affection for C. S. Lewis, and how Lewis has influenced his theological commitments. You hear the echo of Lewis’s trilemma here from the book, Bono in Conversation, distinguishing “karma” from “grace,” which, Bono declares, is a “mind blowing concept…that keeps me on my knees.”

On reading said quote of Bono on Jesus Emerging heretic Frank Viola exclaimed: Is the Lead Singer of U2 the New C.S. Lewis? Other Discernmentalist Ministries have also observed Lewis’ heresies: “CS Lewis – his style dupes many Christians…his style is a Trojan horse for bad theology.” ~ Mike Abendroth. Dr. Hugh Jass himself—Phil Johnson’s mighty Pyromaniacs has stated:

CS Lewis did not believe in Hell and he believed in purgatory. CS Lewis was heavily influenced by his friend JRR Tolkien (who wrote Lord of the Rings) a Roman Catholic and he was also influenced by the writings of GK Chesterton, another Romanist.

Tolkien was disappointed that CS Lewis moved from his atheism but not to the Roman Catholic Church. Lewis was sort of “Anglo-Catholic.” Anyway, Tolkien’s influence on Lewis may explain Lewis’ heterodoxy.

Most importantly the Ways of the Master himself—the Pope of the Truth War John MacArthur (PBUH) declares:

Not many evangelicals would openly claim to believe in purgatory, even if their eschatology bears a striking resemblance to Catholic dogma. Eschewing the Catholic emphasis on works righteousness, a growing number in the church believe that God’s grace extends to sinners beyond the grave, rescuing them from the due penalty of their sin in the afterlife. C.S. Lewis’s book The Great Divorceplays out this theory in narrative form, as unrepentant sinners are coaxed into heaven by the saints.

But that view has no biblical basis—it’s driven by sentiment, not Scripture.

Therefore we can only conclude that NOW THE END BEGINS are leading millions away from Biblical Christianity by mentioning C. S. Lewis (a heretic).

 

 

Mrs. Jobson speaks on Mothballs

June 24, 2019

I’m proud of my wife’s article against the feminist assaults we’ve been facing and how to combat them that I wrote for her in keeping with our Clear Teachings on wifely submission—I tried to submit it on her behalf to The Council On Biblical Manhood and womanhood for publication in the latest issue of their magazine on Biblical womanhood but they rejected it and laughed in my face. I suspect it is because they saw her name as the author—I know it can’t be because of the references to mothballs in the article because they agree with Our Brand. For those of you who don’t know the main definition of mothballs as defined in Volume Two of The Discernmentalist Dictionary is:

MOTHBALLs or (Modernism’s Old Theologies of Hate Bringing About Legalism on  Ladies): (noun)- the only known protection against Mothra and feminist attacks on Discernmentalist Truth. Also useful in warding off Bibliophiles.

Anyways here is my lovely wife’s beautiful and well-written article:

0_300x300_Back_Color-WhiteMy Life As An Unfeminist Submissive Mothball Wearing Wife

By Mrs. Brandy Hose Jobson

Contrary to what our annoyed tortured faithful readers may think Mrs. Jobson indeed loves wearing  her mothball necklace. In fact just smelling them have calmed Mrs. Jobson’s (her)  fears of Mothra’s feminist Agenda assaulting our Truth. Mrs. Jobson wishes more women would learn the joy of being submissive and the benefits of wearing mothballs for protection. I (Don Jobson) told her (my wife Mrs. Jobson) that any time she’s tempted to even think the unbiblical thought of women being able to pastor a church—just keep calm by focusing on her mothballs. Now you can see the Clear benefits of our Teachings. I was telling Mrs. Jobson the other day that if “tolerance” is the core value of political correctness then feminism is it’s most cherished cause–and the implications of apostate culture’s cultural devotion to feminism are monstrous. Feminism is not about equal rights for women but about the feminization of the American male.

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My wife’s lovely mothball necklace 4 Protection against Mothra and feminists

It has indeed turned even more monstrous ever since these Mothra attacks started occurring on innocent unsuspecting Southern Baptist churches but thankfully our Brand works like a charm. In fact its extra magical almost like the heretical Mormon cult’s secret undergarments—only ours is Truly Biblical. Sadly though it has yet to be seen as working on gay feminists. This content is for Premium members only. Login or sign up to gain access to over $164440 in Worldview Weekend resources. (Whoops looks like Brannon is charging now for us Discernmentalists to crib from his self-righteous site. How dare he!).

Feminist Mothra dogma decrees that women can never be successful. That shows how out of touch the feminists are. Now Mothra as you may not know was never successful especially since:

Mothra is one of the most powerful psychics in the Toho universe. She has had the ability to use this power benevolently, to communicate with humans, or defensively, to destroy her enemies. As suggested earlier, Mothra is assumed to be divine and draws many parallels to the Phoenix, which makes her one of the more powerful kaiju of the Toho universe. Mothra has become one of Godzilla’s more challenging opponents, having achieved the greatest success rate in battle save Godzilla himself…

Anyways just remember mothballs for your protection against the Mothra feminist hordes. Mrs. Jobson agrees with me because I told her to.

My wife still protected by mothballs from Mothra feminists,

Don Jobson

Gays join the Truth War against Feminists

June 10, 2019

 

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“I’m a gay man. I am not a feminist. There’s a shocking statement. How could any gay man not need, want, support, affirm feminism?

What I learned surprised me. I learned that feminism was not about equality. I learned about the feminist history of hatred toward gay men. And eventually, I learned that feminism was actively engaged in a campaign that was doing to all men what others have so often done to gay men: demonize them as sexual predators and abusers in the interests of their own power and their own ideology.

Feminism wasn’t about equality: It was about bigotry.”—Matthew Lye

We couldn’t hardly believe it when our Research Robot Monkeys stumbled upon this shocking statement. We’re so shocked we’re pressed for words. How can this be? Everyone knows that gays are liberals and that feminists are liberals too—and that all liberals love gays and feminists equally. Its part of their pledge to use the Trojan Horse of gay feminism to destroy the American church by legalizing the gay feminist agenda to turn men into effeminate weak gutlesss grace girlie-men. In fact when I showed this Researchmentalism for the very article I’m writing to my co-laborer in Discernmentalism—-Dr. I. Todyaso—he exclaimed: “I hate this but most importantly I hate myself for not knowing who to hate more—but then I thought to myself what would John MacArthur (PBUH) do? Why! Point out his finger of self-righteous judgment at both groups and hate them both equally.” On the one hand—we’d like to thank the gays for helping us hate the feminists more—on the other—we’d like to thank the feminists for helping us to hate the gays more. Even-so you’re not fooling any of us as you’re not really among us Truth Warriors.

Update: Rumor has it that Dr. I. Todyaso has gone into hiding somewhere deep within our Truth Bunker upon viewing this Researchmentalism—but I could’ve sworn I heard his distinctive voice in our ODM cafeteria late last night in the afterhours as I was getting a midnight snack.

Ray Comfort (Awesome) invents Mothball Mobile

June 3, 2019

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DISCERNMENTALIST WOO NEWS—  Kearny is one of those towns with a main street called Kearny Avenue. Most Friday and Saturday nights Ray Comfort (Awesome) would walk Kearny Avenue passing out “Are you a good person?” tracts to groups of young people and feminists. Most of them would laugh at him. Some ridiculed him. A few even assaulted him. But Ray was undeterred. He wanted to be able to connect with some of these kids and preach the law of our Angry God’s wrath to them. Then it dawned on him since feminists (under Mothra’s influence) fear mothballs—why not invent a Mothball Mobile (using recently discovered Mothball technology)—then he could safely pick kids up on Sunday morning—(protected from Mothra and feminist doctrines) in his Mothball Mobile and bring them to church. If the kids are poor Ray would then have the opportunity to preach the Gospel of Capitalism to them so they could be saved through the “invisible hand” of Free-Market economics. Online Discernmentalist ministries are now seeing the benefits of this application of our newly discovered Mothball technology with Ray’s invention we can now more often load up our cars with kids and take them to see Discernmentalist approved movies and bring them to Discernmentalist crusades. Even with all his eccentricity—Ray lives the commands of Christ through merciful grace as well as any redeemed Elect can by preaching the Law and Wrath of God’s anger instead of mercy and grace to sinners. (Source)

Mrs. Jobson is extra excited to hear the good news that our good friend Ray Comfort is inventing this Mothball mobile as she hasn’t been allowed to leave our bunker in months without wearing her mothball necklace for protection—ever-since these Mothra feminist attacks have begun upon the Holy Remnant within our apostate Southern Baptist Convention. We fear that ever-since these feminist priestesses started invading our SBC—that they will return our beloved Convention to the Dark Ages of liberals and the unholy horrors of Progress by divine fiat. We’d like to thank Ray once again for inventing this as the extra protection of mothballs will keep us well-fortified on the go—and safe from being accosted by Mothra or any other strange feminists—while we’re out and about. Now Mrs. Jobson and our Quiverfull of kids will safely be able to see God Is Not Dead: The Finally Final Reckoning when it finally comes out!

 

Don Jobson and Mrs. Jobson through being forced to agree with me approves

 

Celebrities Endorsed Rob Bell’s Dr. Pepper

May 21, 2019

Gene Simmons of Kiss in the past endorsed Rob Bell’s heretical plot to use Dr. Pepper to lure unsuspecting sinners into believing God’s Love wins. Quote one of our old articles—Actual quote from Rob Bell (a heretic): “Hahaha…if I use the same colors on the book cover of Love Wins as Dr. Pepper Cherry, people will have to believe my Universalist message that Love Wins.” Ken Silva who wasn’t half the Discernmentalist that we are—failed to catch that. Thankfully though we have warned you at just how crafty the Emergent Church’s secret Agenda is!

Thankfully our Research Robot Monkeys also heard that Gene recently got saved from the Emergent hordes as he was heard weeping tears of joy at the Pentagon from hearing the good news of their war mongering. We heard he repented and started worshipping America First again—thank our Angry God! Now you may not know but elsewhere Rob Bell (a heretic) said this against our beloved America which proves him a heretic as America should never be questioned:

“Most of the Bible is a history told by people living in lands occupied by conquering superpowers. It is a book written from the underside of power. It’s an oppression narrative. The majority of the Bible was written by a minority people living under the rule and reign of massive, mighty empires, from the Egyptian Empire to the Babylonian Empire to the Persian Empire to the Assyrian Empire to the Roman Empire.

This can make the Bible a very difficult book to understand if you are reading it as a citizen of the most powerful empire the world has ever seen. Without careful study and reflection, and humility, it may even be possible to miss central themes of the Scriptures.”
Rob Bell, Jesus Wants to Save Christians: A Manifesto for the Church in Exile

You see there he’s saying Americans can’t understand the Bible—nonsense as we all know Americans (or at least Nationalists) wrote our Bible. Here’s a Trumpism for you to counteract this heresy: “We love winners. We love winners. Winners are winners.”

Our Favorite Brand!

May 18, 2019

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Many of our tortured faithful readers have been asking us lately which brand of mothballs we use to repel the feminists and Mothra’s assaults on our Absolute Truth. We prefer (and Mrs. Jobson has no choice in this): Enoz Mothra Balls. The smellier the better. We’ve found that they also provide extra protection against atheist Bibliophiles harming our children with strange books. Mrs. Jobson has become even more Biblically submissive to my divine authority since wearing a necklace of them around her neck. Thank our Angry God!

Even our Pope of the Truth War (PBUH) doesn’t teach this essential and important teaching for countering the Mothra-feminist Agenda secretly corrupting our churches—so we’re one step ahead of our Dear Leader.

“All this is not limited to liberal churches and denominations, however. Aburdene and Naisbitt note that the organization Christians for Biblical Equality believes, “Women as well as men exercise the prophetic, priestly, and royal functions” of the church. [4](ibid, p. 128, quoted from “Women Served as Priests,” Grand Rapids Press, November 9, 1991) Evangelical churches are just as susceptible to the feminist onslaught. The fact is, feminism has already gained a foothold within the evangelical community in recent years.”

See no mention of mothballs helping to prevent these assaults. Elsewhere our Pope (PBUH) stated: “If all theologians were to follow that principle of interpretation, Satan wouldn’t need to attack the truthfulness of Scripture; he would only have to cause enough confusion over the “hard passages” for scholars to ignore them.”

I’ve made sure to rub our mothballs over any of these “hard passages” that might be misconstrued of even secretly teaching one hint of Mothra-feminist doctrines against our Truth. Hard passages such as:

Joel 2:28-29 New International Reader’s Version (NIRV)-The Day of the Lord Is Coming: 28 “After that, I will pour out my Spirit on all people.
Your sons and daughters will prophesy.
Your old men will have dreams.
Your young men will have visions.
29 In those days I will pour out my Spirit
on those who serve me, men and women alike.

Unfortunately Mothra doctrines are hard to spot without the aid of our Secret Cloaking Reversal Technology as Mothra herself as well as her feminist priestesses are said to have psychic abilities. Quote:

Mothra symbolizes girl power, in a variety of forms—from the sonorous and elegant magic of her miniature twin princess allies, to the overt strength, courage, and perseverance of the great moth herself. Mothra also has characteristics of a mother goddess diety, with her transformations—from egg to caterpillar to moth (who sometimes produces a new egg and continues the cycle.) While most of the Kaiju are lone wolves, Mothra keeps up a social network by way of her telepathic connection

Thankfully you have important ministries of dis-imformation like ours in this Truth War to teach you the correct way through mothballs to stop the Mothra-feminist assault on our Doctrines or else the feminists will win and ordain more feminist Mothra-priestesses to serve the Lord and prophesy aka preach the Gospel/Pastor a church. And in the words of John W. Robbins who explains the tragedy of such an approach:

The demand for the ordination of women, as rebellious as it is in itself, is a symptom of a much more serious malady. The ordination of women might disfigure the church, but the disease of which it is a symptom will kill her unless it is quickly diagnosed and treated. That disease . . . is the rejection of Biblical inerrancy.

So remember Mrs. Jobson (through Mr. Jobson’s authority) approved Enoz Mothra Balls—the only way to stop the Mothra-feminist assault on our Truth and Bibliophiles corrupting kids. Even my co-Truth Warrior Truthslayer agrees as his wife now too is wearing a mothball necklace.

 

SBC under siege by Mothra Priestesses!

May 18, 2019

 

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Actual photo of this assault by Mothra and her Priests/Priestesses!

Not a day goes by when our Truth is not under attack—this time we’re under siege by Mothra. [H/T]: The moth-eaten SBC and the women who did it. “But I am like a moth to Ephraim, and like dry rot to the house of Judah.” (Hosea 5:12).

Oh the unholy horror of this affront on our Truth—I only pray that Mrs.  Jobson doesn’t catch wind of these secret feminist doctrines or she might rebel against my divinely mandated authority again. I’ve forced Mrs. Jobson to wear a necklace made out of mothballs just in case—sure it smells funny but I told her: “listen woman this is for your own good and it helps protect the purity of our Truth.” Anyways here’s how to spot these secret feminist Mothra priestesses:

They are feminists—don’t let them tell you otherwise. Also we hear they’re not too fond of the smell of mothballs but are attracted to altar flowers. (See this link for proof).

This is the new crop of what I called Christian secret feminists- but they aren’t as secret as they were in 2012. They live a feminist life inside of Christianity but call it ministry. They are openly rebelling now.

One woman who has much to answer for about this new role is Beth Moore. She was the one who broke new ground in the Southern Baptist Convention, a most conservative denomination, in how far a woman could go in attaining celebrity status, living for her career and not for her home, and promoting gender role reversals.

She showed us how to be the main and sustained breadwinner of the family. She showed us that she could preach in a church and teach anyone in the world, uncensured. Mrs Moore, while speaking conservative values cloaked in all the right Christianese, has lived a very feminist life. (We suspect this is because of their super secret psychic cloaking powers).

We only know this because of using our Secret Cloaking Reversal Technology or SKIRT—also they are most likely to predict an oncoming Mothra attack as per our findings. We also have reason to suspect these feminist Mothra priestesses of secret Catholic leanings:

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Absolute Proof. We discovered this too while using our Bible-based SKIRT (Secret Cloaking Reversal Technology).

So be warned and beware—thankfully you have lone Discernmentalists in the wilderness like us to warn you of all these threats on our Truth. At this very moment we’re working on Mothra-sized mothballs—to surround our Holy Convention and churches—and prevent these feminist Mothra priestesses unleashing even more Mothra attacks on our churches and Truth.

JMac caught preaching unBiblically

May 16, 2019

We almost couldn’t believe our eyes—could it really be that the Pope of all Truth has erred? Proof:

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We almost forgot for a moment that our Pope is exempt from following the Doctrines he places over others. The evangelical culture—including churches and religious media—has for years moved away from preaching. Some experts claim there is nothing sacred about traditional preaching, so why not change to please the tastes of society? Wouldn’t congregations be better served by methods more in step with the times?

While that rationale may sound spiritual and completely reasonable, it actually puts churches on precarious ground. The potential for disaster is real. You need to be concerned. And as our Pope himself preaches that the only True mode of preaching is Expository not Topical:

You know, one of the things that’s become apparent to me as you just kind of keep your ear to the ground and watch what’s going on in terms of theology today is that expositors never come out of institutions with a low view of Scripture…never. Liberals make terrible Bible expositors…in fact, they don’t make them at all simply because they do not believe there’s anything significant about the terms, so why bother to deal with the terms. But it isn’t only the liberals that concern me in that dimension, I think that even evangelicals and fundamentalists have the same problem. We would say that liberals attack the authority of Scripture in a head-on attack. They deny it. They want to deal with a different level of inspiration, whether it’s the inspiration of someone’s thought or whether it’s the existential approach that if it zaps you somewhere then that’s inspired for you, or whatever approach they take that’s less than verbal plenary inspiration. The result of all of that is that there are no real significances attached to the terms themselves, so they don’t bother to deal in an expository manner. They talk in broad generalities.

But it’s amazing to me also that even evangelicals do the same thing. Recently I, and I’ve done this a couple of times, but when I was giving some messages along this line to a group of pastors, I said “The liberals attack the Bible by denying its truth,” you know, and you can hear the “amens” ripple across the room. And I said, “And then the people who have sort of flipped out on the experiential end and on the Charismatic end and have taken those things to excess, they come along and say…Well, Jesus said to me…or I had a vision…or God spoke to me…or the Lord showed me what this meant.” And what they’re doing really is adding their own experience, their own revelations, their own visions to the Bible and in so doing that they undermine the authority of Scripture, too, and it becomes just as important to for them to teach their experiences as it does to teach the Bible. And so, the purity of expository preaching is watered down. And also what invariably happens is in that particular movement you wind up with a tremendous freedom to use the Bible almost as a creative instrument, it’s almost like a paint brush. You can use it to paint anything you want. You can make verses say whatever you want them to say. You can be very fanciful. You can be very allegorical because your experiences and your feelings and your emotions and your intuitions and your visions and your revelations are substantively the equivalent of Scripture.

And then you have, of course, the evangelical and the fundamental people who would die for the absolute authority of Scripture but they get up week after week in their pulpits and never delineate its principles. And in my judgment, that’s the worst of all because to him that knoweth to do good and doeth it not, to him it is sin. I mean, we know that every word is pure, right? And if we don’t deal in an expository manner with the Word of God, then we’re denying the precept of the Bible itself, that it is in fact in every word the Word of God. And so the greater sin is at the door of the evangelical who affirms this high view of Scripture but number one, doesn’t believe that he should be involved in an expository ministry, or number two, is involved in exposition in a superficial non-diligent way. You can’t treat Scripture like that. If you’re going to do it, you’ve got to get in and be diligent.

We’re surprised the Mighty Hugh Jass Phil Johnson hasn’t covered up this mistake of our inerrant Pope like when he attacked his Truth. Even the late Ken Silva almost turned against the Pope of the Truth War. So remember to preach expositionally instead of topically like Spurgeon preached unless of course you’re the Pope over Truth.

Holding all to the Standard of their Doctrines,

Don Jobson

 

Under Attack by Fictional Gay Cartoon Rats!

May 15, 2019

 

 

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Gay cartoon rats (Our Real enemies) turning kids ghey!

Now that our war with (Insert PP joke here-File Not Found) is over and we declared ourselves the winners—we can get back to focusing our discernmentalizing energies on fighting against real enemies like fictional characters such as gay cartoon rats. Yes gay cartoon rats as The Queerosexualist PC agenda has struck again our beloved Arthur threatening our hetero-marriages once again. Run…run and lock  your doors…bar your windows and hide the children. The Sanctity of our marriages are being destroyed. Our Pure marriage Doctrines are now in danger unless we come against this and forbid fictional characters from getting ghey married and exposing kids to gheybuttsecks against our Clear Teachings of it’s ickyness.

Oh the horror…the  sheer horror! I had to shield my eyes several times from the horror of that picture and out of fear of turning ghey by sight osmosis (from all the gaydiation that picture emits) while I was writing this important article. In fact Mrs. Jobson threatened to divorce me as she had thought I was looking up ghey furry porn sites—but I explained to her I was doing researchmentalism for this very urgent article that required my discernmentalism. We warned you when we already apprised you of the rabbit hole that ghey buttsecks leads to: Manimals.

You should have heeded our warning when you had the chance…now America has truly fallen since this travesty has been allowed to pollute the Purity of our airwaves. Personally Dr. Truthslayer blames the liberal Commiefied Canada’s involvement with Arthur for this assault on our Biblical marriages. Dr. I. Todyaso is now at this very moment working closely with Eric Barger inventor of Stretch Technology; Smocking Gun Technology; and co-inventor of our Gaydar on inventing a Fictional Gay Character Eraser  (Codenamed: Fig Leaf) in order to stop this menacing threat that will surely prevent us from having Hetero-marriages by turning everyone ghey.

Thankfully you have True Biblical manly-men like us to warn you of these real and present dangers contributing to the downfall of our society.

Update: [H/T]- Sadly Ken Ham beat us to the punch-line of our Discernmentalist Researchmentalism but we were working on our article first* as we are still # 1 in Discernmentalism as just like him we were totally scandalized by fiction depicting reality that we had to get this worked up about the love life of a cartoon rat all over again after having to edit in Ken’s comment:

{Edit}-

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*- Proof

Update # 2: We’ve had to repent several times from staring at the unholy horror of that picture once to edit in these updates and again to post this article. We’ve all had to spend extra time in our re-sanctification closets to wash away that disgustingly dirty pic from our minds. {Edit}- We almost questioned our manhood so we had to reread Dr. I. Todyaso’s recent sermon on the manliness of beards  several times to reassure ourselves that our manhood was still intact while we were in our re-sanctification closets.

Update # 3: Suspected Sintologist Franklin Graham has now joined our Truth War against fictional gay cartoon rats. Quote: “PBS receives government funding — why should our government be financing programming that promotes behavior the Bible says is sinful?” {Edit}- Mrs. Jobson has now threatened to go stay with my Mother-in-Law after seeing that sinful picture again in my browser but I reassured her that was the last time as I needed to finish this utmost and urgently important article soon to stop the encroaching hordes of even more fictional gay cartoon rats spawning and spreading the gheyness around. Now she knows that without us Online Discernmentalists protecting society from the sin of fictional characters no one would be safe.