Archive for the ‘idol worship’ Category

Hurricane Irene: God’s Wrath Against Satan’s Holiday

September 19, 2011

Northeastern states are facing a jack-o’-lantern shortage this Helloween after Hurricane Irene destroyed hundreds of pumpkin patches across the region, farmers say. Boo…freaking hoo…God hates Pumpkins…We Know! Every Helloween evil Arminian Papist Islamofascists join together with Pagan Secular Humanist Satanist Evilutionist Darwinianists by setting candles in Pumpkins and lighting them near their couches so they can chant their New Age mystical prayers in an attempt to try to destroy our Holy Doctrines.

Also on that unholy night of heathenism, the unholy alliance of Roman Arminian VaticanIslamists and Athiestic Satanic Enviromentalist Communist Socialist Darwin-worshippers go from door to door yelling “Trick-or-Treat” and kidnap pregnant Bible-Believing Protestants who don’t give them candy and force them at gunpoint to abort their fetuses so that they can drink their blood while committing acts of sodomy and other fornications.

Also they practice their favorite activity of sacrificing goats, pigs, sheeps, cats and Bible-Believing Protestant children on altars built to worship their false Pumpkin god the Jack-o-Lantern while reciting satanic verses from New Age Catholic Bible Perversions in Satan’s tongue—Latin.

This is what Helloween is all about and why Pumpkins are an abomination to God. I attest to you all of this is Absolute Biblically-Correct Factual Truth and not made up by any man as: “I myself have been a forty-five year student of the satanically inspired, centuries-old conspiracy to use government, education, and media to destroy every vestige of Christianity within our society and establish a new world order. Having read at least fifty books on the Illuminati, I am convinced that it exists and can be blamed for many of man’s inhumane actions against his fellow man during the past two hundred years.”

If you don’t believe me just click on this link: Helloween-Satan’s unholyday. Thankfully you have Godly Bible-Believing Online Discernment Ministries like this one that refuse to compromise on our Pure Doctrines. We must all do our part to take a stand in our angry God’s Sovereign Wrath and the Hard Truths of the Bible in defense of our Holy Doctrines. We must expose all and warn all on the evils of Pumpkins. We must leave no hidden evil uncovered.

Evil Commies Honor Diseased Baptist

August 26, 2011

 

This just in fresh from Der Führer’s desk: Item #4-
Communist-Created Statue to Honor King
by Der Führer Brannon Howse’s henchman, Cliff Kincaid

With False President, Commie and Anti-Christ Obama preparing to preside over the official unveiling of the False Convert and Commie heretic— the evil Martin Luther King, Jr.’s Memorial, the last thing the administration needs is a controversy over the “Made in China” label for the 30-foot structure. But the shocking truth, known for many years, is beginning to be picked up by some media outlets as the special event approaches. The project in honor of the American civil rights and Satanic Baptist figure was “outsourced” to Lei Yixin, a Chinese government-approved sculptor best known for creating edifices glorifying Mao Tse-Tung, father of Communist China and notorious mass-murderer.

How dare anyone let supporters of mass-murderers create statues—let alone statues of mass-murderers! Haven’t people read my excellent article exposing MLK as the man-exalting reprobate that he was. Excerpt:

Martin Luther King, Jr. was a Baptist minister and Baptists are heretics with the soul-destroying disease, Baptici hereticus. Also Baptists have unbiblical and Semi-Pelagian church polity as Sharin’ Whiplash reminds Discernmentalists that Absolute Truth Biblical church polity is Presbyterian in nature—we who are God’s True Elect Know this.  In this way, Martin Luther  King, Jr. led many souls astray by spreading the disease Baptici hereticus—not only that he was a communist and socialist bent on destroying America.

Martin Luther  King, Jr. may have had a dream but that dream was for a socialist and communist America and  that’s heresy.

He also damned many souls to hell with his Commie Baptist ways.

 

Prideful Boasting

June 30, 2011

Our Research Robot Monkeys have caught Contemporary Christian Music Superstar Carman pridefully boasting of his good works and religious accomplishments to promote himself and his music:

We however never ever use any kind of self-righteous prideful boasting in promoting ourselves and/or our quality Bible-based Discernmentalist products:

New Quick And Painless Way

June 27, 2011

To Remove Jesus From Your Heart:

Have you ever asked Jesus into your heart? What about accepting Jesus as the Lord and Savior of your life? Or receiving Jesus to fill your God-shaped hole? Is Jesus more important to you than any other religious leader? If you answered yes to any of the following—congratulations you’re not even a Real and True Christian and most likely worship Satan, the Pope or Mary as your dark lord and master a False Convert.

If you have found that you were rated a False Convert—never fear Todd Friel with Brannon Howse’s help have introduced a new quick and pain-free way to reverse your status and make sure that you become a True Convert this time around. Introducing the new surgical procedure to surgically remove Jesus from False Converts’ hearts: Operation JesuScopic Surgery! Why let Jesus fool around in your heart when you can have your heart filled with the Puritan Hard Drive (PHD)—now with twice the amount of John Owen’s fatalistic arrogance!

Sharin’ Whiplash Goes Contemplative….Alert, Alert!

July 9, 2010

Sound the alarms, we’ve caught Sharin’ Whiplash one of our most faithful expositors of our Pure Doctrines in the midst of supporting New Age Mysticism:

More on Contemplative Centering Prayer:

Centering prayer is a popular method of contemplative prayer or Christian meditation, placing a strong emphasis on interior silence.

Though most authors trace its roots to the contemplative prayer of the Desert Fathers of early Christian monasticism, to the Lectio Divina tradition of Benedictine monasticism, and to works like The Cloud of Unknowing and the writings of St. Teresa of Avila and St. John of the Cross, its origins as part of the “Centering Prayer” movement in modern Catholicism and Christianity can be traced to several books published by three Trappist monks of St. Joseph’s Abbey in Spencer, Massachusetts in the 1970s: Fr. William Meninger, Fr. M. Basil Pennington and Abbot Thomas Keating.[1]

Note that Iggy the evil Grace-hating man-loving Emergent Pelagian teaches this stuff so you know it must  be heresy.

America’s True Founders

July 4, 2010

This July 4th remember the True Founders of America by buying our new Bible based on the American Gospel. Who are America’s True Founders you may ask? Well  the answer should be simple right:

 Which of these writers influenced the political philosophy and origins of the founding documents of the United States of America:  President Thomas Jefferson, John Calvin, and/or Saint Thomas Aquinas? Easy, right?  The answer is President Thomas Jefferson.   You know, Jefferson, the author of the Declaration of Independence, and one of the many founders who threw off the religious tyranny of then-England and safeguarded the separation of church and state in our government. WRONG!  If you are one of the 80% of  students in the U.S.A. who will be reading textbooks published in Texas, you wouldn’t know that President Thomas Jefferson is a writer who influenced the intellectual origins of our nation.    Instead, you will be taught that Protestant “reformer” John Calvin  and medieval-minded, pre-rational-thinking Catholic Saint Thomas Aquinas are the true influences upon our nation’s founding documents. 

By buying Our Pure Bible you’ll support our cause and learn these True Facts and more:

The Patriot’s Edition of the 1599 Geneva Bible is the same Scripture, word for word, that the Pilgrims brought to America nearly 400 years ago. This new edition, however, features a prayer by George Washington, which begins…

“O eternal and everlasting God, i presume to present myself this morning before thy divine majesty, beseeching thee to accept of my humble and hearty thanks, that it hath pleased thy great goodness to keep and preserve me the night past from all the dangers poor mortals are subject to, and has given me sweet and pleasant sleep, whereby i find my body refreshed and comforted for performing the duties of this day, in which i beseech thee to defend me from all perils of body and soul…”

This edition also includes the following historical documents, which are based upon Biblical principles:

•The Magna Carta

•The Mayflower Compact

•The Declaration of Independence

•The Articles of Confederation

•The Constitution of the United States

•Amendments to the U.S. Constitution

•Rules of Civility & Decent Behavior

ENDORSEMENTS:

“The publication and promulgation of the 1599 Geneva Bible will help restore America’s rich Christian heritage and reclaim the culture for Christ.”

Dr. D. James Kennedy, Senior Pastor of Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church

Buy one or two or three or even more and remember to also oppose the Mosque at “Ground Zero” just like Sharin’ Whiplash does.

P. S. Remember Separation of Church of State is a heretical lie from the pit of hell cooked up by secular humanist liberal atheistic crackpots.

Fear AND Self-LOATHING on the INTERNET…

June 10, 2010

       

Our hero Ken Silva reprises his role in this sequel to the classic Fear And Loathing On The Internet. In this new film fresh off the conveyor belts of the GOIP DVD production lines—Ken begins lamenting the fact that there is  “a growing influence of Contemplative Spirituality/Mysticism (CSM) that has crept right into the timid heart of the squishy evanjellyfish church organism pretending to be a True Protestant community.”

Soon this lamenting turns into self-loathing followed by fear and then finally fear and self-loathing combined of which the title (Fear And Self-Loathing On The Internet) of the film is derived. Shortly in the film—in the midst of protesting against “the growing influence of Contemplative Spirituality/Mysticism (CSM)” in the church today— Ken experiences a computer crash but manages to send out this message through Discernmentalist Osmosis which is in the DNA of all True Discernmentalists:

Just a short note asking for prayer, particularly if you’ve been blessed by this online apologetics and discernment work, and making you aware that the hard drive in the main computer at here at Apprising Ministries has crashed. Fortunately back problems had forced me to do much of my work from a laptop so the loss of materials/information was lessened. Since our email program went through that now defunct main computer we no longer have access to it so we’ve begun a new email account: apprisingministries@gmail.com. We remain thankful you have been standing with Apprising Ministries through these 5+ years, and thank you for your prayer, as well as financial support as well. O, and the blessing; well, we’re still waiting to see what the Lord has in store through this little bit of a test as we try and rebuild our database.

Fearing for the worse Ken soon discovers that the evil Frank Viola and equally evil Leonard Sweet caused his hard drive to crash through their spiritually corrupt practice of Contemplative/Centering Prayer. Our film ends with Ken pledging to put his fear and self-loathing to good use as he vows to take revenge against Contemplative/Centering Prayer and the “sinfully-ecumenical” Purpose-Driven and Contemplative-driven Emerging/Emergent Church and “po-mo Christian” sinners in general by using big TRUTH WARRIOR words such as “gutless crybaby,” “spineless” and “sissified jellyfish” even more than he did in the first film or does now.

On a happier note Ken also reinstated his offer to make good on his vow to donate a “spine” and “Backbone”  to any apostate heretic that would repent and believe upon the Pure and True Gospel of John MacArthur’s Truth Wars™ and Biblical American values such as capitalism and war so that this film could have a happier ending than the first one.

Breaking News: Ingrid and the Mighty Slice Of Laodicea got Raptured from the Net!

June 8, 2010

           

I couldn’t believe my eyes today as our valiant Research Robot Monkeys were combing the net of our favorite Discernmentalists’ websites and blogs—when they  suddenly  noticed the absence of the presence of one of our  very favorite Mighty Truth Warrior blogs (under our own Affectionate Uncle Pastor-Teacher’s personal site, of course)—which had mysteriously and completely vanished into thin air…Poof…gone but not forgotten. Quite frankly we were quite shocked and  saddened to see that Ingrid Schlueter (who partners with the Great Pastor-Teacher himself on Christian Researchmentalist Network sometimes) and her Mighty Slice of Laodicea had been raptured off the Internet.

In a private conference with my fellow Discernmentalists, Dr. Truthslayer quipped:  “It has to be another evil Emergent plot at work.” I however fear for the very worse. I fear that Obama has finally taken control of the Internet in order to shut down any sites that are fighting against for the Truth. I mean why else would a blog that is so dedicated to lies and slander Truth disappear and vanish completely without a trace like that? We here and of the OD Mafia promise to stand firm in our convictions for protecting the Truth against Obamanation and E-mergent-ness. If Obama or an Emergent or any of our other enemies try to rapture up our Truth Warrior blogs, they’ll have to pry them from our cold dead hands first and even then we won’t let them.

Fellow Discernmentalists and Truth Warriors against for Truth, let us now take a moment of silence to remember with fondness the good ole days—back when Ingrid sliced up the Truth fought for the Truth on Slice of Laodicea before it succumbed to a genuine case of Internet rapture. Here to help us pay our respects and tribute to Ingrid’s SOL is a commemorative memorial photo of the former Great Slice of  Laodicea as it was in all of it’s Truth-Warrior missive glory before it’s tragic end of being raptured from  the net:

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Farewell Mighty Slice of Laodicea, we will miss you (and all the lies and slanders that you spread against fellow Christian Brothers and Sisters over the years of your short Internet lifespan) so! R. I. P… You may be gone, but you’re definitely not forgotten.

P. S. We heard a rumor that before Slice got raptured off the net they were working on a new pocket-sized version of their Truth-Grinder for a test market.

All Hail, Capitalism’s Savior!…

May 27, 2010

 

“If we ever forget that we’re one nation under GOD, then we will be a nation gone under.” — Ronald Reagan

This is why Ronald Reagan was the last True President that we ever had and why Reagan was Elected the Final President of America, so bow down and submit unto His Pure Doctrines:

Ronald Wilson Reagan was indeed Capitalism’s True Saviour! This was even prophesized in the Truth War Bible. The Gospel of Reaganism According to Worldview Weekend Truth Warriors Chapter 11:

Worldview Weekend’s Code Blue Rally is for adults and students age 9 to 109 because the church in America is in critical condition. Christian adults and young people alike embody worldviews that are no different from those outside the church. Jesus’ warning in Revelation 3:16 should be ringing in our collective ears: “So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I am going to vomit you out of my mouth” (HCSB). Separation from Christ means spiritual death follows quickly. For that reason, Worldview Weekend has declared CODE BLUE for America’s church. Urgent action is vital, or the vibrant Christian faith we all should be sharing will soon be dead. 
 

Worldview Weekend is committed to a four prong strategy for its Code Blue Campaign: 1). Teach Christians to contend for the faith through apologetics training. 2). Teach Christian to think like Biblically minded Christians through worldview training. 3). Teach Christians to evangelize like Jesus did using the Moral Law 4). Challenge Christians to make sure they are true converts by examining their lives in light of the Biblical hallmarks of a Christian. These hallmarks can be found in the book of I John. 

And remember to:

Stop Supporting Abortion, Socialism, and Anti-American Politicians When You Can Support the Exact Opposite with A Reagan.com Email Address

The inspiration for @Reagan.com came from Michael Reagan when he realized that most of the organizations providing email services are supporters of the Obama, Pelosi, and Reid agenda and do not adhere to true Reagan Conservative values. �If a fellow Conservative has a problem or feels uncomfortable using the services of a Liberal organization, so do I” Said Michael Reagan. “I see a large number of people who believe in Reagan Conservative Values unwittingly supporting businesses and organizations that support and promote Liberal and Socialist causes! That has to stop.” Click here to get your Reagan.com Email address now: http://www.reagan.com/email/ref.php?refid=1269141911

@Reagan.com Email service provides its users with peace of mind by knowing that none of the proceeds will go to support any liberal cause.

Yes we all should bow down and Obey Reagan’s Pure Doctrines as Capitalism is Absolute Biblical Truth of this we are Absolutely Certain.

Your Typical Worldly Seeker-Sensitive Emergent Type Worship Service

May 17, 2010

 

      

A video of a typical Worldly Seeker-Sensitive Emergent Type Worship Service:

An Emergent believer on this video:

love THIS vid! it’s almost from the same angle that I was ;)) so I can re-live this outer world experience over and over again!! I was too awed to record it, I just stayed there motionless and gobsmacked the whole song, almost crying and with goosebumps all over my body.. It really felt I could see his soul.. I don’t know if it was the lighting, but the brightness around him looked like an aura, something celestial.. I felt whole.
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Thankfully you have us to set you straight and to warn you about these evil mystic apostate demon spawns from hell. And remember you only need the Holy Inerrant Bible apart from  it’s Christ-Centeredness/Christ-Centered teachings to be whole!