Posts Tagged ‘Mother of Harlots’

Ray Comfort (Awesome) invents Mothball Mobile

June 3, 2019

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DISCERNMENTALIST WOO NEWS—  Kearny is one of those towns with a main street called Kearny Avenue. Most Friday and Saturday nights Ray Comfort (Awesome) would walk Kearny Avenue passing out “Are you a good person?” tracts to groups of young people and feminists. Most of them would laugh at him. Some ridiculed him. A few even assaulted him. But Ray was undeterred. He wanted to be able to connect with some of these kids and preach the law of our Angry God’s wrath to them. Then it dawned on him since feminists (under Mothra’s influence) fear mothballs—why not invent a Mothball Mobile (using recently discovered Mothball technology)—then he could safely pick kids up on Sunday morning—(protected from Mothra and feminist doctrines) in his Mothball Mobile and bring them to church. If the kids are poor Ray would then have the opportunity to preach the Gospel of Capitalism to them so they could be saved through the “invisible hand” of Free-Market economics. Online Discernmentalist ministries are now seeing the benefits of this application of our newly discovered Mothball technology with Ray’s invention we can now more often load up our cars with kids and take them to see Discernmentalist approved movies and bring them to Discernmentalist crusades. Even with all his eccentricity—Ray lives the commands of Christ through merciful grace as well as any redeemed Elect can by preaching the Law and Wrath of God’s anger instead of mercy and grace to sinners. (Source)

Mrs. Jobson is extra excited to hear the good news that our good friend Ray Comfort is inventing this Mothball mobile as she hasn’t been allowed to leave our bunker in months without wearing her mothball necklace for protection—ever-since these Mothra feminist attacks have begun upon the Holy Remnant within our apostate Southern Baptist Convention. We fear that ever-since these feminist priestesses started invading our SBC—that they will return our beloved Convention to the Dark Ages of liberals and the unholy horrors of Progress by divine fiat. We’d like to thank Ray once again for inventing this as the extra protection of mothballs will keep us well-fortified on the go—and safe from being accosted by Mothra or any other strange feminists—while we’re out and about. Now Mrs. Jobson and our Quiverfull of kids will safely be able to see God Is Not Dead: The Finally Final Reckoning when it finally comes out!

 

Don Jobson and Mrs. Jobson through being forced to agree with me approves

 

A New PSA Message from Our Conspiracy-Driven Church!:

May 22, 2019

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FEAR… ANGER… HATRED… AGRESSION… SUFFERING….

Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”—John Howard Yoder

“Together, these elements helped create a society in which many Americans see millions of snares, laid by a menacing group of enemies, all the more alarming for how difficult they are to identify and pin down.

Let’s pause to attempt to define a conspiracy theory. It is a belief that a small group of people are working in secret against the common good, to create harm, to effect some negative change in society, to seize power for themselves, or to hide some deadly or consequential secret. An actual conspiracy is when a small group of people are working in secret against the common good – and anyone who tells you we can always easily distinguish fictitious plots from real ones probably hasn’t read much history.

Conspiracy theories tend to flourish especially at times of rapid social change, when we are re-evaluating ourselves and, perhaps, facing uncomfortable questions in the process. In 1980, the civil liberties lawyer and author Frank Donner wrote that conspiracism reveals a fundamental insecurity about who Americans want to be versus who they are.” (Source)

We Discernmentalists are Conspiracy Theory-addicts—the more unbelievable the conspiracy the better to defend our Truth with. If your church teaches social justice—say George Soros is funding this teaching even-though it is in the Bible and Church History. Social Justice sounds too much like Socialism. If your Preacher preaches that God is love and loves the world—accuse him of preaching Universalist heresy among other heresies. Thankfully we Discernmentalists can find a conspiracy to suit our every need. We love our tin-foil hats and we love to keep them on extra tight.

And remember Conspiracy theories are I. Todyaso backed…Truthslayer and Don Jobson approved

 

Our Favorite Brand!

May 18, 2019

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Many of our tortured faithful readers have been asking us lately which brand of mothballs we use to repel the feminists and Mothra’s assaults on our Absolute Truth. We prefer (and Mrs. Jobson has no choice in this): Enoz Mothra Balls. The smellier the better. We’ve found that they also provide extra protection against atheist Bibliophiles harming our children with strange books. Mrs. Jobson has become even more Biblically submissive to my divine authority since wearing a necklace of them around her neck. Thank our Angry God!

Even our Pope of the Truth War (PBUH) doesn’t teach this essential and important teaching for countering the Mothra-feminist Agenda secretly corrupting our churches—so we’re one step ahead of our Dear Leader.

“All this is not limited to liberal churches and denominations, however. Aburdene and Naisbitt note that the organization Christians for Biblical Equality believes, “Women as well as men exercise the prophetic, priestly, and royal functions” of the church. [4](ibid, p. 128, quoted from “Women Served as Priests,” Grand Rapids Press, November 9, 1991) Evangelical churches are just as susceptible to the feminist onslaught. The fact is, feminism has already gained a foothold within the evangelical community in recent years.”

See no mention of mothballs helping to prevent these assaults. Elsewhere our Pope (PBUH) stated: “If all theologians were to follow that principle of interpretation, Satan wouldn’t need to attack the truthfulness of Scripture; he would only have to cause enough confusion over the “hard passages” for scholars to ignore them.”

I’ve made sure to rub our mothballs over any of these “hard passages” that might be misconstrued of even secretly teaching one hint of Mothra-feminist doctrines against our Truth. Hard passages such as:

Joel 2:28-29 New International Reader’s Version (NIRV)-The Day of the Lord Is Coming: 28 “After that, I will pour out my Spirit on all people.
Your sons and daughters will prophesy.
Your old men will have dreams.
Your young men will have visions.
29 In those days I will pour out my Spirit
on those who serve me, men and women alike.

Unfortunately Mothra doctrines are hard to spot without the aid of our Secret Cloaking Reversal Technology as Mothra herself as well as her feminist priestesses are said to have psychic abilities. Quote:

Mothra symbolizes girl power, in a variety of forms—from the sonorous and elegant magic of her miniature twin princess allies, to the overt strength, courage, and perseverance of the great moth herself. Mothra also has characteristics of a mother goddess diety, with her transformations—from egg to caterpillar to moth (who sometimes produces a new egg and continues the cycle.) While most of the Kaiju are lone wolves, Mothra keeps up a social network by way of her telepathic connection

Thankfully you have important ministries of dis-imformation like ours in this Truth War to teach you the correct way through mothballs to stop the Mothra-feminist assault on our Doctrines or else the feminists will win and ordain more feminist Mothra-priestesses to serve the Lord and prophesy aka preach the Gospel/Pastor a church. And in the words of John W. Robbins who explains the tragedy of such an approach:

The demand for the ordination of women, as rebellious as it is in itself, is a symptom of a much more serious malady. The ordination of women might disfigure the church, but the disease of which it is a symptom will kill her unless it is quickly diagnosed and treated. That disease . . . is the rejection of Biblical inerrancy.

So remember Mrs. Jobson (through Mr. Jobson’s authority) approved Enoz Mothra Balls—the only way to stop the Mothra-feminist assault on our Truth and Bibliophiles corrupting kids. Even my co-Truth Warrior Truthslayer agrees as his wife now too is wearing a mothball necklace.

 

John Calvin “Frisked” At Liberty and Grace Reformed Church

September 21, 2011

Pastor Steven Dilday in echo of George W. Bush’s “Patriot Act” opts to create the first ever “Clergy Act” in an attempt to root out all those spiritual terrorists who dare to partake in the sins of the Whore of Babylon—the Scarlet Mother of all Harlots: the Roman Catholic Cult by wearing robes and stoles to preach. Quote Steven Dilday: “this is the most pressing and urgent of issues of our time—we should hold the theology of those who wear vestments in the pulpit suspect.” One of the first victims of Pastor Dilday’s Clergy Act was a John Calvin impersonator who was held suspect for looking too sinisterly like a Jesuit gestapo in his black robes:

We most mightily thank Pastor Dilday for bringing this clear and most important teaching on one  of  “the most pressing and urgent of issues of our time.” Why if a John Calvin impersonator can be held theologically suspect then we must also hold the real Calvin theologically suspect! On a related note—Pastor Dilday elsewhere declared that Calvinists should abandon Calvin for not being Truly Refomed and Calvinistic enough. We agree as Calvin was a little too Semi-Pelagian for our tastes and did not hold to the Truth of the Ways of our Master.

Remember this is a Truth War after-all so we must hold everyone accountable to ourStandard of ourTruth of ourPure Doctrines. Thankfully you have this humble Truly Reformed Bible-Believing Truth War Discernment Ministry to Take A Stand in ourDoctrines on “this most pressing and urgent of issues of our time.” We here at this ministry are all about grace and nothing but Grace… in fact we are the most Grace-loving man-hating site on the net. We would never ever heap the burden of the Law upon you or preach anything like a Works-Salvation unlike those Grace-hating man-glorfiying Catholic-worshippers. We just expect you to keep ourRules lest we deem you unworthy of God’s Grace and therefore unfit for the Kingdom.

So Liberty and Grace To You, God’s Only Elect in the Great Grace of the wide and loving mercy of our Angry God’s Sovereign Hate and Wrath.

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Update # 1: Martin Luther wore vestments clearly he must have hated liberty and grace for partaking in the sin of the Papists.

Update # 2: We caught one of our own Ken Silva wearing a bathrobe… he must be on the Road to Rome. Now we must put his site under surveillance.

Update # 3: Johnathan Edwards wore a clerical collar… a clear perversion of the Doctrines of Grace.

Update # 4: We wiretapped Ken Silva’s phone and overheard Ken talking with Chris Rosebrough (an avowed Lutheran) and Ingrid of SOL/Crosstalk (a possible Lutheran). Now we must really put his site under surveillance as now we really have reason to suspect that he is Emerging into Rome.

Update # 5: Oh horror of horrors… the Ways of the Master himself caught preaching sans coat and tie in a Rick Warrenesque shirt. He’s one step closer to Rick Warren’s heretical Purpose-Driven Agenda.