Posts Tagged ‘Ken Silva Related News’

Emerging Shark Possibly Indentified!

September 23, 2011

“We saw the shark’s nose emerge and then the man just vanished. It was very sudden, then the animal just swam off. ”

Update: Apprising Ken Silva News ReportsEmerging Church Shark spotted swimming deep in the Indian Ocean earlier this morning. Authorities say be on the look out for any sign of “tall hair” breaking the surface of the water in your area. You may also know an Emerging Shark by his or her lack of Doctrinal convictions. Quote Phil Johnson:

“If you happen to read the book [Beliefs of Emerging Churches – Five Perspectives], let me know if Kimball’s chapter strikes you the same way it struck me. Not only does it seem like Kimball has not really thought his position through very carefully; I got the distinct impression he wouldn’t really care to give it much more serious thought. Frankly, the message that comes across in that chapter is that he really doesn’t want to be bothered with doctrine. Like a lot of postmodern church members, he doesn’t seem to have the stomach for propositional theology …

“Even the most conservative voices in the Emerging Church movement face this problem to some degree, because although they might not be self-consciously postmodern in their own thinking, they are too concerned with keeping ‘the conversation’ going. Once someone abandons his or her doctrinal convictions to the degree Kimball advocates and embraces ‘the conversation’ as a primary goal instead, the commandment in Jude 3 (‘Contend earnestly for the faith which was once for all delivered to the saints’) becomes next to impossible to obey …”
– Philip Johnson

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Ken Silva Quote Of The Day

September 14, 2011

Your daily dose of Ken Silva:

“I’d rather lack a brain than be like those sissified Evanjellyfish Emergynts and lack a backbone.” —Ken Silva on whether or not simple mental capabilities, higher critical thinking, logical skills and reasoning have anything to do with following Jesus and the spiritual life of a Christian.

Fear AND Self-LOATHING on the INTERNET…

June 10, 2010

       

Our hero Ken Silva reprises his role in this sequel to the classic Fear And Loathing On The Internet. In this new film fresh off the conveyor belts of the GOIP DVD production lines—Ken begins lamenting the fact that there is  “a growing influence of Contemplative Spirituality/Mysticism (CSM) that has crept right into the timid heart of the squishy evanjellyfish church organism pretending to be a True Protestant community.”

Soon this lamenting turns into self-loathing followed by fear and then finally fear and self-loathing combined of which the title (Fear And Self-Loathing On The Internet) of the film is derived. Shortly in the film—in the midst of protesting against “the growing influence of Contemplative Spirituality/Mysticism (CSM)” in the church today— Ken experiences a computer crash but manages to send out this message through Discernmentalist Osmosis which is in the DNA of all True Discernmentalists:

Just a short note asking for prayer, particularly if you’ve been blessed by this online apologetics and discernment work, and making you aware that the hard drive in the main computer at here at Apprising Ministries has crashed. Fortunately back problems had forced me to do much of my work from a laptop so the loss of materials/information was lessened. Since our email program went through that now defunct main computer we no longer have access to it so we’ve begun a new email account: apprisingministries@gmail.com. We remain thankful you have been standing with Apprising Ministries through these 5+ years, and thank you for your prayer, as well as financial support as well. O, and the blessing; well, we’re still waiting to see what the Lord has in store through this little bit of a test as we try and rebuild our database.

Fearing for the worse Ken soon discovers that the evil Frank Viola and equally evil Leonard Sweet caused his hard drive to crash through their spiritually corrupt practice of Contemplative/Centering Prayer. Our film ends with Ken pledging to put his fear and self-loathing to good use as he vows to take revenge against Contemplative/Centering Prayer and the “sinfully-ecumenical” Purpose-Driven and Contemplative-driven Emerging/Emergent Church and “po-mo Christian” sinners in general by using big TRUTH WARRIOR words such as “gutless crybaby,” “spineless” and “sissified jellyfish” even more than he did in the first film or does now.

On a happier note Ken also reinstated his offer to make good on his vow to donate a “spine” and “Backbone”  to any apostate heretic that would repent and believe upon the Pure and True Gospel of John MacArthur’s Truth Wars™ and Biblical American values such as capitalism and war so that this film could have a happier ending than the first one.