Posts Tagged ‘creed’

Our non-Political Theological Creed 4 True Christians

December 20, 2019

divisionsinchurchpol

Since that horrible librul state passed that unbiblical amendment upholding the Constitutional principle of the Separation of Church and State but attacking our free speech to divide the church even further by making political endorsements from our Pulpits—we’ve decided to write a creed to unite churches (as there never was a creed unifying the church ever in Christian History).

Sound Doctrines and True Theological propositions our creed to unite churches includes: Belief in the Trinity? Nope. Jesus as Messiah? Nada. Rendering to Caesar what is Caesar’s and to the Lord the Lord’s? No. Forsaking worldliness? Nein. Salvation by Grace? Does not compute. Reference to the Incarnation? Nil. Belief in the Resurrection? Not a chance.

Here is our CREED that all must follow or else you are not a TRUE CHRISTIAN:

  1. We endorse Trump therefore since we endorse and follow Trump you must vote for him as well or else you’re not a “Real” Christian in fact you’re no Christian at all.  (Exodus 20:7)
  2. We follow Reagan and the Republican Party not Carl Marks and the Democratic Party nor Don John and the Liberterian Party or that Vegan Party with Lady Gaga—therefore you too must follow who we follow. (1 Corinthians 1:10-31)
  3. Abortion is murder the Bible says so in fact its the number one sin in the Bible—believe us. (0 Bible results for “abortion is murder.” 0 Bible results for “abortion is sin.”). Only Trump and Republicans take a stand against abortion like Democrats for Life of America.
  4. The only sin equally worse as abortion is gheyness—the Bible is Clear men shouldn’t lie with men–its an abomination. Only democrats are gay like Log Cabin Republicans. (Ezekiel 16:48-50; 18:13)
  5. Everyone should vote Republican as God is a Republican. (0 Bible results for “America.” 0 Bible results for “Republican.” 0 Bible results for “Democrat.”)
  6. America first—we support Nationalism just like God. (Isaiah 40)
  7. We endorse Trump just like Paul and John endorsed Nero. (Revelation 13:18) therefore you lose our blessings if you go against our endorsement and will be excommunicated from the only “True” Church with the only “True” Christian faith.
  8. We vote Trump just like Jesus voted for Pilate and Caesar. (1 Samuel 8-15; Mark 12:17; Luke 22:24-27) therefore you too must vote for him or else leave the Christian faith as you were never really a “True” Christian to begin with.

Our creed is 100% Early Church-endorsed as these quotes attest:

In us, all ardor in the pursuit of glory and honor is dead. So we have no pressing inducement to take part in your public meetings. Nor is there anything more entirely foreign to us than affairs of state. – Tertullian

All the powers and dignities of this world are only alien to, but are enemies of God. Through them, punishments have been determined against God’s servants. Through them, too, penalties prepared for the impious are ignored. – Tertullian

We are to scorn trying to ingratiate ourselves with kings or any other men – not only if their favor is to be won by murderers, licentiousness, or deeds of cruelty – but even if it involves impiety towards God, or any servile expressions of flattery and fawning. – Origen