Posts Tagged ‘Advertisements’

Special Alert: Mothra Assaulting our Truth through TV ADs Now…

October 20, 2019

Once again we are under attack by Mothra and her feminist army—this time through commercials on TV:
No, commercials are teaching little children that feminism is good. Men have no value – except for what the superior” little woman dictates, if a man is allowed in the commercial at all. They are trying to shape children through commercials. I’m waiting for the first transsexual one. Commercials also sell immorality to children and parents without discernment. The head of the man is Christ. The head of the woman is man – answers it all right there. Absolutely  – when one caters to the culture, it makes a mockery of what Christ taught and leads to indecision on the truthfulness of Christ. One example of that being women preachers.  If Christ wanted women teaching, he would have created them to be men.

We are now placing extra strength Mothballs* around TV towers in an effort to combat this hideous assault on our Truth!

P.S. We hope that Beth Moore‘s husband will buy some of our mothballs for Mrs. Moore as Mrs. Moore’s place is at home barefoot in the kitchen and pregnant not reading the Good News of God’s Wrath from the Bible out loud and usurping man’s divine authority:

*- MOTHBALLs or (Modernism’s Old Theologies of Hate Bringing About Legalism on  Ladies): (noun)- the only known protection against Mothra and feminist attacks on Discernmentalist Truth. Also useful in warding off Bibliophiles. Mrs. Jobson now swears (not in an unbiblical swearing way) by it. [Update: We’ve discovered new usages for this term]:

  1. Against Bibliophiles: Moralists Operating Theological arguments against Heretics and Bibliophile Atheists/Liberal Librarians. See BIBLIOPHILES.
  2. (Feminist and Atheist Insult Version): “The scare tactics of the right wing have been taken out of mothballs.” (Source: Liberal Article on Feminism).
  3. MOTHBALLs and MOTHBALL technology– the latest in Discernentalist woo and quackery. The newest craze in Discernmentalist households—sweeping the Discernmentalist world by storm since these secret Mothra feminist attacks have started on our churches. Discernmentalists  are researchmentaizing further applications in MOTHBALL sciences and technology.
  4. MOTHBALLING/MOTHBALLED (verb form)- discernmentalists love to mothball our enemies with mothball arguments aka our favorite Discernmentalist arguments. Slightly related to the insult version.

 

Joel Osteen Threatens Bible-readers with unbiblical toothpaste!

May 14, 2019

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We can’t say we are shocked at this horror as we’ve been apprising you of the hideousness of all these seeker-driven Emergents out there living as though God has a plan and purpose for their lives. In Joel Osteen’s latest attack on Bible-readers he unveiled his apostate unbiblical toothpaste and threatened to brush the teeth of anyone who dared open their Bibles. If he would only let them read their Bible then they would know: The Bible contains all the wisdom man needs for solving all the spiritual struggles, problems, and issues of life.

The Online Discernmentalist Mafia is now offering Bible Studies on how to prevent tooth decay to counteract this worldly assault on our Truth.

Bible verses we’ve found so far that help us in fighting and preventing cavities; gingivitis; tooth decay and other dental infirmities:

  • 0 Bible results for “brush your teeth.”
  • 0 Bible results for “toothpaste.”
  • 0 Bible results for “toothbrush.”
  • 0 Bible results for “mouthwash.”
  • 0 Bible results for “toothache.”
  • 0 Bible results for “gingivitis.”

This proves how little of the Bible Joel Osteen has read. In fact we suspect he uses alcohol-based mouthwash against our Clear Teachings.

 

And Now A Word From One Of Our Sponsers

January 3, 2011