Archive for the ‘We are not idiots you reprobates!’ Category

We Support Religious Liberty!

October 5, 2011

Why support Religious Liberty and the Separation of Church and State when you can do the complete opposite! Support us and our Alliance Defense Fund.

We stand for “real” Religious Liberty:

Among other “Religious Liberty” issues.  * – And by Christians, we mean only those who hold to a Strict interpretation of Orthodox 5-point Dortian Calvinism. Since Mary-worshipping Papists, Arminianist free-will idolaters, Lutherans, anaBaptists, Greeks and other non-Reformed churches are Semi-Pelagian, they are all non-Christian religions—because they reject the “True Gospel.”

We “poor” Christian majority are tired of being  discriminated against in our own Country—remember this Great Nation was founded upon “Christian principles” and that all of our Founding Fathers were “good Bible-Believing Calvinists” especially Thomas Jefferson and James Madison. It’s time we do something and take back our Religious Liberty: to spread more Partisan politics and hate.

For decades, the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) and other radical anti-Christian groups have been on a mission to eliminate public expression of our nation’s faith and heritage. By influencing the government, filing lawsuits, and spreading the myth of the so-called “separation of church and state,” the opposition has been successful at forcing its leftist agenda on Americans.

Their targeted attacks on religious freedom are more serious and widespread than you may realize. In courtrooms and schoolrooms, offices and shops, public buildings and even churches…those who believe in God are increasingly threatened, punished, and silenced.

Help us take a stand for “true” Religious Liberty and support God’s Only Inerrant Party in 2012: vote Brannon Howse/Michael Reagan!

(Issac Backus and Roger Williams be damned!)

The Pure Gospel

September 17, 2011

Anyone who doesn’t believe this is a heretical Semi-Pelagian Godless Reprobated Pagan. We know with Absolute Certainty that world doesn’t mean world but means Elect only which is why the Biblical author of John used the Greek word κόσμος (literal meaning: universe) instead of the Greek word for Elect ἐκλεκτός. Of course to the Truly Saved, this makes Absolutely perfect sense being that we are of the True Regenerated Converts which is why this Hard and Mature Teaching will go over the heads of heretical False Converts.

This is why Arminianist Whack-jobs, Barthians, Eastern Orthodox Romanists, Emergents, Lutherans, Papists, Pentacostal toungue-Babel-ers, Purpose-Seeker-Driven Contemplatives, rebaptizers and any other group who hates our Pure Doctrines are ignorant of the True Gospel. Armianian merit-mongering Free Willists are especially ignorant because of their man-centered idolatry in believing that world means world. What’s next— are ignorant Arminian pseudo-Math scholars going to tell us True Bible Believers that 2+2=4.  “2+2” always=4, right? Laughable and blasphemous heresy as we of God’s Truly Regenerated Elect know that 2+2 really=10.

Prideful Boasting

June 30, 2011

Our Research Robot Monkeys have caught Contemporary Christian Music Superstar Carman pridefully boasting of his good works and religious accomplishments to promote himself and his music:

We however never ever use any kind of self-righteous prideful boasting in promoting ourselves and/or our quality Bible-based Discernmentalist products:

Fanatic for Jesus calls John MacArthur’s Jesus: “New Age.”

May 20, 2011

“All those who truly love Christ and care about the truth have a solemn duty to defend the truth by exposing and opposing these lies that masquerade as truth. If we fail in that duty because of indifference, apathy, or a craving for the approval of men, we are no less guilty than those who actively spread the lies.”

~John MacArthur, Excerpt from Unholy Trinity

Donna Martin aka Fanatic For Jesus is on record as proclaiming that the Premillennial Dispensationalist’s Christ is a “New Age” Christ:

Even-though as we all know John MacArthur the Ways of the Master himself (P. B. U. H.) believes in Premillennial Dispensationalism and the Rapture. In fact John MacArthur has stated with Absolute Certitude that “Every Self-Respecting Calvinist is a Premillennial Dispensationalist Rapture Believer” so obviously Donna Martin aka Fanatic For Jesus isn’t really a Fanatic for the True Jesus of the Bible: John MacArthur’s Jesus. Repent Donna Martin aka Fanatic For Jesus before it’s too late—for the End is nigh—don’t be a fool and get Left Behind with the unregenerate non-Elect heathen reprobates and Postmodern Unbelievers…believe in Premillennial Dispensationalism and the Rapture or Else! By the way it’s not too late to stock up on our fine and quality John MacArthur approved hand-crafted RaptureHatches before the Rapture occurs this Saturday.

John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) Will Get You Rapture Ready For Saturday!

May 19, 2011

John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) unlike Brian McLaren and his Emerging Babylonian hordes never falls prey to the winds of ear-tickling doctrines. This is because Saint John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) keeps his doctrines so Purer than anyone else’s that he can never fail at being the True Truth Warrior of Absolute Biblical Truth that he Truly is. Take the Pure Biblical Doctrine of the Rapture for instance—John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) has said: “It’s become kind of popular today, in the last two or three years, to believe in the rapture occurring at the end of the tribulation. There has been three positions, historically, “pre-trib,” “mid-trib,” and “post-trib.” What that means is the rapture occurs at the end of the tribulation: “post-tribulation;” the middle of the tribulation: “mid-tribulation;” the beginning of the tribulation: “pre-tribulation.” Now if you wanted to catalog me I would have to claim to be a “pre-tribulationist.” I believe the Church will be taken out before the tribulation.

Of course because Truth Matters, we all know that the Rapture is Pure Biblical Teaching and not a man-made invention by a deluded Scottish teenager unlike Brian McLaren’s heretical notion that the Kingdom of God is present in the world and within us. Phil Johnson and the Pyromaniacs agree as John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) has also said after being questioned about his Premillenial Dispensationalist Rapture beliefs:

Questioner: I am concern about Dispensationalism, I have been listening to Charles Swindoll, yourself and Dave Hawking, I really enjoy their ministry. And they all preach the pre-tribulation rapture, and I can buy that. I think it’s great. And then I hear some other respected men in the Lord say, “Well that is a dispensational point of view,” and they imply that that is something that has taken place within the last hundred years or so within the church. I just like to hear a little from you.

John MacArthur’s Answer: You see, that is just a label that they throw. What do you mean a dispensational point of view? The word dispensation is a NT word, Paul said “It was committed unto him the dispensation of the grace of God, dispensation of the mysteries.” It simply means a stewardship, it’s simply a term, that’s all. This is the accusation over and over again that Dispensationalism popped up with J. N. Darby, and C. I. Scofield, and all of that? But we are not working our way through a system, but rather attempting to interpret scripture on its own merit.

Ok, you have some basic things to deal with. Dispensationalism, by the way, is simply a title for theology that recognizes a literal nation Israel to be restored in the future. And recognizes a literal kingdom, and a literal tribulation, and a literal return, and a literal rapture, and that is dispensational. The other perspective is what’s called non-dispensational or covenant theology, which has no place for Israel, no kingdom in the future, and spiritualizes everything rather than making it literal.

Now, what you have to do is to go back to some very basic things. Dispensation simply means that God manages things in a certain way at a certain time. Everybody is a dispensationalist, everybody. I don’t care who they are in theology, they’re dispensational.

Elsewhere John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) has defined Every Self-Respecting Calvinist as a Premillennial Dispensationalist—in other words all True Christians are Premillenial Dispensationalist Rapture believers like John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) and Harold Camping. We hope this helps get you Rapture Ready for the Rapture and Judgement Day this Saturday—oh and don’t forget to buy one of our handy dandy RaptureHatches to be prepared… so  don’t get Left Behind with the unregenerate non-Elect heathens… be Rapture Ready with our Final Prophet John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.).

Rick Warren and Islamists’ Secret Death Star Plans Exposed

May 18, 2011

“We are currently prototyping and testing our global P.E.A.C.E. plan.”—Rick Warren, USA Today

Rick Warren seen secretly plotting with Islamists to inact the terror of his New Age Purpose-Driven Global Peace Plan across the universe. Part of Rick Warren’s plan is to build a fully operational Death Star with the aid of Islamists.  Warren expects the Death Star to be fully operational by 2013—Warren’s Death Star will force Christians to support his New Age Purpose-Driven Global Peace Plan or so Discernmentalist Researchmentalist experts say. “Rick Warren Hits Home Run with Announcement of Global Peace Plan to Battle the Giants of Our World.” —Assist News Agency

Warren’s Death Star, which is believed to have the capacity to neutralize the minds of an entire planet, was adopted from designs stolen from George Lucas’ studios and used by Vladimir Putin in his successful takeover of Russia in the late 1900s. It was re-stolen by Rick Warren and in the works using the gargantuan profits made by both Halliburton and Islamists in the Iraq War, now referred to as ‘Liberating Iraq’s Oil.’

Brannon Howse says of Rick Warren’s Global Peace Plan:

Certainly the world is all about solving its problems without the God of the Bible. Yet many professing Christians are rushing to remedy the world’s troubles in ways that are without the support of Scripture, some even in contradiction to what the Scriptures teach. Rick Warren’s global P.E.A.C.E. plan is one of many programs and teachings that, for the most part, cannot be reconciled with God’s prophetic Word. It is Warren’s “50-year plan” to cure global issues such as “pandemic diseases, extreme poverty, illiteracy, corruption, global warming, [and] spiritual emptiness” (see http://www.thebereancall.org). He claims that his social-works agenda developed from his reading of the Gospels–that Jesus gave him the model that was the antidote to the five biggest problems on the planet (see http://www.thebereancall.org). Warren subsequently expanded that model from an exclusive endeavor of Christianity to one requiring the support of all religions.

Rick Warren’s “ill-curing” ecumenical agenda is illogical as well as unbiblical. How can his game plan for remedying “spiritual emptiness” work with those who promote a false spirituality?   We agree which is why there are a number of pastors, ministries and authors throughout the world who are opposing Rick Warren, including Dr. John MacArthur, who exposed Warren in a chapter in his book called Fool’s Gold by Dr. John McArthur. We all must take a stand against Rick Warren‘s secret New Age Purpose-Driven Global Peace Death Star Plans.

Discernmentalists Declare: “Rob Bell Worse Than Bin Laden!”

May 3, 2011

(Newsweek)- Pastorboy aka (Name Withheld by Request) in a Press Conference today stated unequivocally and without reservation nor hesitation that he believes that the Truth War against Spiritual Terrorism has yet to be completed as long as Rob Bell is still alive–for he truly believes Rob Bell is worse than Bin Laden. Pastorboy aka (Name Withheld by Request) proves his case by quoting directly from the sinister and vile arch-heretic Rob Bell himself: “Rob Bell: Osama Bin Laden is in hell? Really? And you feel compelled to tell people this? I have to say that love wins, and this story is so much larger. Remember, Jesus painted blood on the doorposts of the universe and has reconciled ALL things to himself. Imagine the hell he has already experienced living in that one million dollar bunker on the border of Pakistan. Now that he is dead, he will be sure to choose Jesus. I am sure I will see him in the new creation someday.”

How dare anyone believe any one of America’s enemies make it to heaven! After-all, America’s enemies are God’s enemies and God’s enemies are all of America’s enemies. Todd Friel quoting from our Final Prophet John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) has noted similar reservations–noting that we should rejoice in the destruction of America’s enemies with a commendable hatred and praise God that America’s enemies will roast in hell and thank our Sovereign God of Wrath for sparing American warlords the same fate by granting them get out of hell free cards.

Pastorboy aka (Name Withheld by Request) would agree and so do we–finally we offer you a stern word of loving wrath from our Final Prophet John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.): “Scripture presents a terrifyingly clear case for a literal hell. It’s a place where God punishes unbelievers for all eternity. Contrary to what some so-called evangelicals are teaching, hell is not a state of mind or a hard life on this earth. Your state of mind can change; your circumstances can improve. Hell never changes, never improves. Hell is not chastisement; it’s everlasting, insufferable punishment at the hands of an angry God.” This is why Rob Bell is worse than Bin Laden for even Bin Laden believed in a literal and “real place” called hell–praise our loving God of Sovereign Wrath to His Glory!

Shake hands with Rob Bell… get Saved!

April 19, 2011

(Seeker-Sensitive News)- When Liberal N.C. Pastor Chad Holtz recently met Rob Bell at an event, Chad Holtz thought he actually got “Saved” after shaking Rob Bell’s hands eyewitnesses say. Holtz is a known Rob Bell and Rick Warren fanatic according to Rapture Ready Discernmentalists so we are not surprised at  Holtz’s Seeker-Sensitive position. Chad has also been known to attack those who seek to Discernmentalize the heretical errors espoused by Rob Bell, Rick Warren and others like Chad who actually believe that “Love Wins.”

Just listen to this sinister quote by Holtz:

“I think justice comes and judgment will happen, but I don’t think that means an eternity of torment,” Holtz said. “But I can understand why people in my church aren’t ready to leave that behind. It‘s something I’m still grappling with myself.”

An earlier Seeker-Sensitive article uncovered by our very own Pastor-Teacher Dr. I. Todyaso stated something just as sinister and underlines the problem with Chad Holtz and his Seeker-Sensitiveness—the article stated that everyone that has a press flash and handshake with a Pope, be it Hitler, Castro, Ronald Reagan or even Billy Graham were saved by that handshake. This is how far these Seeker-Sensitive Purpose-Driven Universalist type people will go in their depraved pragmatism and contextualization of the Gospel and perversion of OUR Holy Doctrines!

Ken Silva our mentor agrees and states: “How dare we slip into being anything like a Catholic or Eastern Father especially a Universalist Catholic or Eastern Father!” We personally believe that Chad Holtz is a Secret Hindu Agent sent to undermine our Pure Doctrines. We must ban together with other Discernmentalists and Take A Stand against Chad… you too should be on your guard against him, because he is strongly opposed to the message of our Holy Doctrines:

Jerks For Jesus (Our Valued Patrons) Judgmentalize Japan

March 16, 2011

 

Did Japan deserve the tsunami, specifically, and the painful afterplay?  No way, no how.  Japan deserves far worse.  Japan is a pagan, idolatrous, perverted nation full of pagan, idolatrous, perverted people.  Perverted, pagan idolatry is sin, and sin must be punished.  God will not be patient with sin and sinners forever.  Comparably-minor judgments like these are mere foreshadowings and tastes of the judgment to come.  I believe that the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor was a sin as well, in and of itself, and as such deserves punishment and judgment.  Even if the attack were justified, it is impossible to argue that it was carried out with 100% pure motives and in 100% pure ways. —Rhoblogy

We are so proud of our faithful student Rhoblogy—why he is almost the judgmentalist that we are and we are twice the judgementalists than Ken Silva yet not quite the judgmentalists that Sharin’ Whiplash is. Rhoblogy is so astute in his judgmentalism that he sets standards that would even confound our great and affectionate Uncle the great and all-powerful Pastor-Teacher to the Internet congregation of the True Remnant himself.

We agree with Rhoblogy for as Todd Friel’s pal has said echoing John MacArthur’s Pure Truth War Doctrines©®™:

A simple reading of the Bible shows how God uses natural disasters to further his purposes. Earthquakes, floods, famine, locusts, etc. they’re all there, but man hates it. Rather than humbly acknowledging that God’s ways are not our ways, man rails against and accuses God. The last thing they will do is cry out for his mercy in Jesus Christ.

We also like Rhoblogy are no friends of sinners or the Japanese for as Al Mohler says: “God hates sin/sinners, and will punish both individual sinners and nations.”—therefore we also hate sickos, perverts, reprobate nations, sinners and people in general unless they are just like us or believe exactly like us in the same way that we do (except on rare occaisions when we must discernmentalize ourselves and other Discernmentalists).

Praise God For His Sovereign Wrath Against Japan!

March 14, 2011

We are so great-ful for God unleashing His commendable hate-filled Sovereign Wrath against His unholy enemies in Japan. We have been so disgusted by Japan’s heathen ways for awhile now—for one: “Japan gave us pokemon, so God gave them an earthquake/tsunami as punishment one-two … you do the math.” Note: Eric Barger says that Pokemon is responsible for most of the criminal acts in the world commited by young perpetrators.

Secondly Japan is full of atheists and reprobated apostate heretics like Roman Catholics, Universalists and Arminians. This is why we are so encouraged and overjoyed that God has poured down His wrath upon Japan so that He may be glorified in sending as many people (that He foreordained not to love from the foundation of the world) to hell as possible through the Sovereign Grace of His great Law, Wrath and commendable hatred towards non-Elect sinners.

We only pray that God might smite more of His enemies. Lord hear our Imprecatory Prayer and let Your nostrils flare with the flames of Your anger and curse the anti-Haters. Remember all you unregenerate reprobates God had His Hand on the earth and waves as it was causing destruction in Japan as God is in Absolute Control over everything including the dust blowing in the wind. Anyone who believes otherwise worships Satan and that means all you Roman Arminians—you man-exalting heretics! Praise God and the Dortian Divines for our Pure Gospel Doctrines!

P. S. We believe in the Real and True God not the weak, wimpy, womanly and liberal Commie god created in the image of Rob Bell whose love wins—but the God of the Bible who is an Angry God of all consuming fire and smoke—the God who is so angry and full of commendable hatred that He may cast wicked men into hell at any given moment.