Archive for the ‘Universalist Conspiracy Theories exposed’ Category

A New PSA Message from Our Conspiracy-Driven Church!:

May 22, 2019

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FEAR… ANGER… HATRED… AGRESSION… SUFFERING….

Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”—John Howard Yoder

“Together, these elements helped create a society in which many Americans see millions of snares, laid by a menacing group of enemies, all the more alarming for how difficult they are to identify and pin down.

Let’s pause to attempt to define a conspiracy theory. It is a belief that a small group of people are working in secret against the common good, to create harm, to effect some negative change in society, to seize power for themselves, or to hide some deadly or consequential secret. An actual conspiracy is when a small group of people are working in secret against the common good – and anyone who tells you we can always easily distinguish fictitious plots from real ones probably hasn’t read much history.

Conspiracy theories tend to flourish especially at times of rapid social change, when we are re-evaluating ourselves and, perhaps, facing uncomfortable questions in the process. In 1980, the civil liberties lawyer and author Frank Donner wrote that conspiracism reveals a fundamental insecurity about who Americans want to be versus who they are.” (Source)

We Discernmentalists are Conspiracy Theory-addicts—the more unbelievable the conspiracy the better to defend our Truth with. If your church teaches social justice—say George Soros is funding this teaching even-though it is in the Bible and Church History. Social Justice sounds too much like Socialism. If your Preacher preaches that God is love and loves the world—accuse him of preaching Universalist heresy among other heresies. Thankfully we Discernmentalists can find a conspiracy to suit our every need. We love our tin-foil hats and we love to keep them on extra tight.

And remember Conspiracy theories are I. Todyaso backed…Truthslayer and Don Jobson approved

 

Celebrities Endorsed Rob Bell’s Dr. Pepper

May 21, 2019

Gene Simmons of Kiss in the past endorsed Rob Bell’s heretical plot to use Dr. Pepper to lure unsuspecting sinners into believing God’s Love wins. Quote one of our old articles—Actual quote from Rob Bell (a heretic): “Hahaha…if I use the same colors on the book cover of Love Wins as Dr. Pepper Cherry, people will have to believe my Universalist message that Love Wins.” Ken Silva who wasn’t half the Discernmentalist that we are—failed to catch that. Thankfully though we have warned you at just how crafty the Emergent Church’s secret Agenda is!

Thankfully our Research Robot Monkeys also heard that Gene recently got saved from the Emergent hordes as he was heard weeping tears of joy at the Pentagon from hearing the good news of their war mongering. We heard he repented and started worshipping America First again—thank our Angry God! Now you may not know but elsewhere Rob Bell (a heretic) said this against our beloved America which proves him a heretic as America should never be questioned:

“Most of the Bible is a history told by people living in lands occupied by conquering superpowers. It is a book written from the underside of power. It’s an oppression narrative. The majority of the Bible was written by a minority people living under the rule and reign of massive, mighty empires, from the Egyptian Empire to the Babylonian Empire to the Persian Empire to the Assyrian Empire to the Roman Empire.

This can make the Bible a very difficult book to understand if you are reading it as a citizen of the most powerful empire the world has ever seen. Without careful study and reflection, and humility, it may even be possible to miss central themes of the Scriptures.”
Rob Bell, Jesus Wants to Save Christians: A Manifesto for the Church in Exile

You see there he’s saying Americans can’t understand the Bible—nonsense as we all know Americans (or at least Nationalists) wrote our Bible. Here’s a Trumpism for you to counteract this heresy: “We love winners. We love winners. Winners are winners.”

STATUS QUO JOE!

May 4, 2019

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‘They call him Status Quo Joe…she was his Discernmentalist rose lost in the flow…saying sayonara made him cry…but that’s not what they meant when they said goodbye…’

Eric Barger stars as Status Quo Joe—a down on his luck heresy hunter always ready to defend the Status Quo at all costs. Joe gets called to investigate a church outside of town—running into old troubles a long the way—causing him to discernmentalize by misunderstanding that any new way of doing church leads to Roman Catholic mysticism. After seeing couches and candles—Joe becomes increasingly convinced that this Emerging church has apostatized to contemplative meditation and therefore is no longer Bible-believing. Just when Joe is about to call down the wrath of God upon this church—the ghost of John Knox appears accusing Joe of being guilty by association for reciting Apostolic Creeds and also of being a reprobate (as Joe is an Arminianist Nazarene and Arminianism is the Road Back to Rome). Tearfully Joe bids farewell to the Status Quo for now—at least until his Doctrines are considered Pure once again.

—This film features the song Tokyo Joe based on the film of the same name which ironically this movie is not based on.

 

Sports Illustrated succumbs to Sharia Law

May 1, 2019

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“Discernment is not knowing the difference between right and wrong. It is knowing the difference between right and almost right.”—-Charles Spurgeon

Attention Truth Warriors: Sports Illustrated has fallen. Political correctness has forced Sports Illustrated to come under the control of Sharia Law against our most Biblical and Godly President’s Clear Teachings:

“We have to straighten out our country, we have to make our country great again, and we need energy and enthusiasm,” Trump said during an appearance on “Meet the Press” in August 2015. “And this political correctness is just absolutely killing us as a country. You can’t say anything. Anything you say today, they’ll find a reason why it’s not good.”

We can’t stand for this good Christian American magazine dedicated to sports enthusiasts to remain in the hands of these politically correct invaders polluting our True Judeo-Christian American Values. What’s next? Will our good Christian American magazine dedicated to the study of women and educational interviews also fall under the loony libs political correctness and Islamist terroristic Sharia Law? Sheer heresy. Soon these jihadists will be forcing all our women to wear these travesties everywhere destroying our God-given Freedom in our Constitution. Don’t these loonies know that America is a Christian Nation?

This is more proof that Liberals ruin everything and that a Shadow Government is trying to help them destroy our Christian Nation. Many of our readers think our discernmentalism to be rather alarmist but consider this:

One day, you are in your house when there is a loud and frantic-sounding knock on the front door. You go to the door, open it, and standing there is your clearly upset neighbor shouting, “There’s a fire on the way, heading right for your house.” You push the neighbor aside, go outside, and climb a ladder onto the roof. And sure enough, you see a big fire heading right toward your house. But you think to yourself as you are climbing back down the ladder, “I don’t really like that neighbor, and I definitely don’t like the way he was ranting and raving at me. And he’s always so negative about everything. I just don’t like him at all.” So you go back inside your house, close the door, and continue on with your day.”

This is exactly what is happening with so many Christians today – the authors and editors at the  ODMafia and God’s Only Inerrant Party are trying to warn of the danger and deception that has come into the church and our Country, but we are often brushed off as too negative and being against everything. It doesn’t make any sense to ignore these warnings. In case you doubt my expertise on this subject—I once knew someone who once knew someone who knew someone who kept the dog for someone who visited England where they met someone who read an anonymous Internet comment on some Conservative website that proves Muslims are trying to bring America under control of Sharia Law. This makes me more of an expert on the subject of Islam than anyone else including actual Muslims. Also just like that someone I once knew:

“I myself have been a forty-five year student of the satanically inspired, centuries-old conspiracy to use government, education, and media to destroy every vestige of Christianity within our society and establish a new world order. Having read at least fifty books on the Illuminati, I am convinced that it exists and can be blamed for many of man’s inhumane actions against his fellow man during the past two hundred years.”

Spread the Conspiracy,

Don Jobson

Your Best Hell Now!

April 28, 2019

Introducing a new book recently rediscovered in our super secret archives. In Your Worst Hell Now aka Your Best Hell Now sinisterly ecumenical possible semi-pelagian quasi-universalist mystic Emergence guru Rob Bell teaches heretical apostates these essential Christian non-Christian Doctrines:

  • That God is everywhere
  • Including hell
  • That God is love
  • That God’s love wins
  • That God wishes that all might be saved
  • Among other  square quotes “sinister” and biblical unbiblical ideas

We Online Discernmentalists know that no one before murky mystic Rob Bell, an icon in the postliberal cult of the Emergent Church and teaching pastor at Mars Hill Bible Church, taught this:

“In souls, there is no illness caused by evilness [ἀπὸ κακίας] that is impossible to cure [ἀδύνατον θεραπευθῆναι] for God the Logos, who is superior to all.” (CC 8.72)”
Origen, Contra Celsum

“Christ reigns in order to save.” (Hom. in Luc. 30)”
Origen, Homilies on Luke: Fragments on Luke
———-
As you can see from those sinister quotes above—this is why we of the ODMafia community would never under any circumstances recommend Rob Bell’s book. Our Research Robot Monkeys have just informed us that our old enemy Mike Morell recommends Rob Bell’s books to everyone that in itself should tell you how sinfully apostate this book isn’t.

Pope Pyro the First says: “Education Smeducation!”

April 20, 2019

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Our Illustrious Infallible Grand Poobah the Most Inerrant Most Holy Pope Pyro I aka John MacArthur (PBUH) decrees: “Education smeducation…students keep your mouth shut…I am the Master and you barely worthy to sit at my anointed feet of discernmentalism…I have no need of degrees as  I already know all Truth. Did Paul have a  degree? Did Spurgeon? For I was personally appointed by God to lead the Truth War and spread disimformation slander discernmentalism. I know all Truth and history as I was there.”

Elsewhere Phil Johnson aka Hugh Jass noted that our Holy mecca Vatican school University of Discernmentalism is under attack:

Pastor John MacArthur has described the probation of his Master’s University and Seminary by an accrediting agency as an “orchestrated” attack, possibly by Satan, and directed students to keep quiet about the controversy.

A Nov. 29 report from the Chronicle of Higher Education published an audio recording of an hourlong sermon from August wherein the 79-year-old Reformed pastor told the student body that their accreditor’s actions amounted to an effort “orchestrated, if not by humans, by Satan himself.”

MacArthur also told students not to ask questions about the accreditation issues, they had no right to learn the details, and that it was not their responsibility.

“There are things that God hates, right?” he said, referencing Proverbs 6. “One of them is the one who stirs up strife,” he said, urging students to keep their complaints within the university and seminary.

“Keep your mouth shut,” MacArthur told them.

“Don’t stir up strife. You don’t know the whole story.”

Fanatic for Jesus calls John MacArthur’s Jesus: “New Age.”

May 20, 2011

“All those who truly love Christ and care about the truth have a solemn duty to defend the truth by exposing and opposing these lies that masquerade as truth. If we fail in that duty because of indifference, apathy, or a craving for the approval of men, we are no less guilty than those who actively spread the lies.”

~John MacArthur, Excerpt from Unholy Trinity

Donna Martin aka Fanatic For Jesus is on record as proclaiming that the Premillennial Dispensationalist’s Christ is a “New Age” Christ:

Even-though as we all know John MacArthur the Ways of the Master himself (P. B. U. H.) believes in Premillennial Dispensationalism and the Rapture. In fact John MacArthur has stated with Absolute Certitude that “Every Self-Respecting Calvinist is a Premillennial Dispensationalist Rapture Believer” so obviously Donna Martin aka Fanatic For Jesus isn’t really a Fanatic for the True Jesus of the Bible: John MacArthur’s Jesus. Repent Donna Martin aka Fanatic For Jesus before it’s too late—for the End is nigh—don’t be a fool and get Left Behind with the unregenerate non-Elect heathen reprobates and Postmodern Unbelievers…believe in Premillennial Dispensationalism and the Rapture or Else! By the way it’s not too late to stock up on our fine and quality John MacArthur approved hand-crafted RaptureHatches before the Rapture occurs this Saturday.

Rick Warren and Islamists’ Secret Death Star Plans Exposed

May 18, 2011

“We are currently prototyping and testing our global P.E.A.C.E. plan.”—Rick Warren, USA Today

Rick Warren seen secretly plotting with Islamists to inact the terror of his New Age Purpose-Driven Global Peace Plan across the universe. Part of Rick Warren’s plan is to build a fully operational Death Star with the aid of Islamists.  Warren expects the Death Star to be fully operational by 2013—Warren’s Death Star will force Christians to support his New Age Purpose-Driven Global Peace Plan or so Discernmentalist Researchmentalist experts say. “Rick Warren Hits Home Run with Announcement of Global Peace Plan to Battle the Giants of Our World.” —Assist News Agency

Warren’s Death Star, which is believed to have the capacity to neutralize the minds of an entire planet, was adopted from designs stolen from George Lucas’ studios and used by Vladimir Putin in his successful takeover of Russia in the late 1900s. It was re-stolen by Rick Warren and in the works using the gargantuan profits made by both Halliburton and Islamists in the Iraq War, now referred to as ‘Liberating Iraq’s Oil.’

Brannon Howse says of Rick Warren’s Global Peace Plan:

Certainly the world is all about solving its problems without the God of the Bible. Yet many professing Christians are rushing to remedy the world’s troubles in ways that are without the support of Scripture, some even in contradiction to what the Scriptures teach. Rick Warren’s global P.E.A.C.E. plan is one of many programs and teachings that, for the most part, cannot be reconciled with God’s prophetic Word. It is Warren’s “50-year plan” to cure global issues such as “pandemic diseases, extreme poverty, illiteracy, corruption, global warming, [and] spiritual emptiness” (see http://www.thebereancall.org). He claims that his social-works agenda developed from his reading of the Gospels–that Jesus gave him the model that was the antidote to the five biggest problems on the planet (see http://www.thebereancall.org). Warren subsequently expanded that model from an exclusive endeavor of Christianity to one requiring the support of all religions.

Rick Warren’s “ill-curing” ecumenical agenda is illogical as well as unbiblical. How can his game plan for remedying “spiritual emptiness” work with those who promote a false spirituality?   We agree which is why there are a number of pastors, ministries and authors throughout the world who are opposing Rick Warren, including Dr. John MacArthur, who exposed Warren in a chapter in his book called Fool’s Gold by Dr. John McArthur. We all must take a stand against Rick Warren‘s secret New Age Purpose-Driven Global Peace Death Star Plans.

Discernmentalists Declare: “Rob Bell Worse Than Bin Laden!”

May 3, 2011

(Newsweek)- Pastorboy aka (Name Withheld by Request) in a Press Conference today stated unequivocally and without reservation nor hesitation that he believes that the Truth War against Spiritual Terrorism has yet to be completed as long as Rob Bell is still alive–for he truly believes Rob Bell is worse than Bin Laden. Pastorboy aka (Name Withheld by Request) proves his case by quoting directly from the sinister and vile arch-heretic Rob Bell himself: “Rob Bell: Osama Bin Laden is in hell? Really? And you feel compelled to tell people this? I have to say that love wins, and this story is so much larger. Remember, Jesus painted blood on the doorposts of the universe and has reconciled ALL things to himself. Imagine the hell he has already experienced living in that one million dollar bunker on the border of Pakistan. Now that he is dead, he will be sure to choose Jesus. I am sure I will see him in the new creation someday.”

How dare anyone believe any one of America’s enemies make it to heaven! After-all, America’s enemies are God’s enemies and God’s enemies are all of America’s enemies. Todd Friel quoting from our Final Prophet John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) has noted similar reservations–noting that we should rejoice in the destruction of America’s enemies with a commendable hatred and praise God that America’s enemies will roast in hell and thank our Sovereign God of Wrath for sparing American warlords the same fate by granting them get out of hell free cards.

Pastorboy aka (Name Withheld by Request) would agree and so do we–finally we offer you a stern word of loving wrath from our Final Prophet John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.): “Scripture presents a terrifyingly clear case for a literal hell. It’s a place where God punishes unbelievers for all eternity. Contrary to what some so-called evangelicals are teaching, hell is not a state of mind or a hard life on this earth. Your state of mind can change; your circumstances can improve. Hell never changes, never improves. Hell is not chastisement; it’s everlasting, insufferable punishment at the hands of an angry God.” This is why Rob Bell is worse than Bin Laden for even Bin Laden believed in a literal and “real place” called hell–praise our loving God of Sovereign Wrath to His Glory!

The Emergent Church Agenda Exposed

April 20, 2011

New evil Emergent plot uncovered: “Drink Dr. Pepper Cherry believe Love Wins!” We are quite astounded at the lengths these Purpose-Driven Seeker-Sensitive Emergent types will go to spread their evil Universalist message. We are angered that these Emergents dare to leave their Emergent Villages and treat the world as their Cohorts. How dare they chant their Contemplative chants on our airwaves… Let alone in public! Can’t they keep their mystical Hindu Voodoo to themselves and go back to their Emergent Villages and smoke one of Shaine Claiborne’s doobies? But no… they’ve got to go and ruin everything as usual with their Subliminal Contemplative Centering Messages! Actual quote from Rob Bell: “Hahaha…if I use the same colors on the book cover of Love Wins as Dr. Pepper Cherry, people will have to believe my Universalist message that Love Wins.” Ken Silva who isn’t half the Discernmentalist that we are—failed to catch this. Thankfully though we have warned you at just how crafty the Emergent Church’s secret Agenda is!