Archive for the ‘Truly Reformed’ Category

Your Typical Baptists aka Heretics

October 27, 2019

We would like to thank Biblical Christianity for teaching us these warning signs to aid us in the Truth War against all those whose Doctrines aren’t Pure enough:ls

  • A monergist synergist
  • A Pelagian Calvinist
  • A sola scriptura tradition-worshiper
  • A 66-book Apocryphalist
  • A monotheist idolater

We know that this fits the definition of a typical Baptist to a tee as they corrupt our Truth War Doctrine by teaching such horrible things as:

God saves any person who responds to the Gospel.

God is Sovereign yet is not the author of evil.

We believe in the Bible as laid out in our Distinctives (traditions).

The King James is one of many translations used in our churches.

Now we commend you to our further Researchmentalism on this very subject:

Baptists may be Calvinists, but they are not, strictly speaking, Reformed.”

“What is so bizarre is that eternal security is like article I of Baptist faith, but Anabaptists are classic Arminians –no security for them!…confused and confusing, even to themselves. Baptists want to be free-willers to choose salvation if and when they’re ready, but once they’ve made their ‘decision’ and are saved through Believer’s Baptism, they want to pass the buck to God to keep them that way. Baptists, with their muddled theology, think they should have the best of both worlds, so to speak. I find that very annoying.”–Sharon Whitley

Only the Truly Reformed by the Purity of our Doctrines shall be saved,

I. Todyaso

 

Beth Moore Go Home!!!?

October 21, 2019

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Todd Friel begins the discussion by saying Beth Moore’s name and asks John MacArthur to say a word that comes to mind after saying her name. What does he say, you ask?

“GO HOME!!!”

The audience roared with laughter. It’s apparent that the audience also has an opinion on Beth Moore and feel it’s okay to laugh at his demeaning comment. “Dr.” John MacArthur adds, “There’s no case that can be made biblically for a woman preacher – period – paragraph – end of discussion.”

Of course our Pope of all Truth (PBUH) is correct as his Holy Study Bible (PBUI) makes clear there’s no case for women preachers period. Especially not:

Acts 2:17 New Revised Standard Version (NRSV)- ‘In the last days it will be, God declares,
that I will pour out my Spirit upon all flesh,
and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy (aka preach),
and your young men shall see visions,
and your old men shall dream dreams.

Which speaks of women prophesying—another word for preaching as made clear in the beloved translation of internet Calvinists everywhere—the ESV: “Micah 2:6 “Do not preach”—thus they preach—one should not preach of such things; disgrace will not overtake us.” (ESV). “Do we really believe God’s Word or only when it agrees with us?” Do we really believe that words written by men and interpreted by men are God’s Words? Yes–yes we do as God-ordained Truth-Warriors we must—which is why:

We’re so thankful that the women at the Empty Tomb weren’t the ones who preached the Good News (Gospel) that Jesus rose from the dead—according to our Most Illustrious Most Holy Most Infallible Most Inerrant Pope over the Truth War John MacArthur (PBUH) and His Holy Anointed Study Bible (PBUI) which even corrects the errors of the Reformers and the Bible itself—making it line up more with Discernmentalist Truth as we know the True Good News is God’s Wrath towards our enemies. We agree with:

Ms. Moore can teach to women, but not to men. If a man chooses to listen that is his choice. That is biblical. A church should not allow a woman to preach/teach at its weekly gathering, but may allow a woman to speak at a special gathering. That is biblical. 1 Corinthians 11:3 says it all. [This should never equally apply to our Pope of All Truth (PBUH)].

However we believe our Pope (PBUH) and fellow Discernmentalists haven’t gone far enough as in fact there’s no case that can be made biblically for a woman reading the Bible let alone even holding one either. Period – paragraph – end of discussion—which is why we being True Bible-Believing Truth-Warring Internet Calvinist Discernmentalists mandate that women shouldn’t even own a Bible as per our concerns (with Trish of Fish With Trish):

We are greatly concerned here for many reasons. First of all why would any Godly woman ever read the Bible—an oxymoron of terms—for as the Apostle Paul proclaimed: “Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.” Secondly, we must Absolutely forbid women reading the Bible under any circumstances just in case she slips up and reads a passage of Scripture aloud…  in front of men and women… say like Romans 1:18-32 and therefore ‘usurps authority over man’ by preaching the Gospel to them.

If women want to know what the Bible says, they should find a man whose feet they can sit under and ‘learn in quiet submission’… especially if that man is the greatest Man of God in our Age of uncertainty, our Pope of the Truth War John MacArthur (P. B. U. H). Thirdly, we mustn’t ever let any woman share the Gospel as that leads to the slippery-slope of female Pastors preaching the Gospel and as we all know preaching/sharing the Gospel is a Divinely mandated role for males only.

Are You Truly Reformed?

June 3, 2019

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Only Truly Reformed Calvinists who tip the scales of our Discernmentalist Rating scale will be saved. Can you get a high score on our meter and pass our test:

You might be a TR (Totally Reformed) if…

1. You first quote the Westminster Confession and then say, “Oh yeah, the Bible says this somewhere, too.”
2. You refuse to vote for Jesus as Time Magazine’s “Person of the Year” because you don’t want an image of Christ on the front cover.
3. You secretly believe that you have to believe in election to be saved.
4. You think Puritans are really, really, really, REALLY cool.
5. While not being a theonomist, you completely understand them.
6. While officially affirming the “priesthood of all believers,” the only people you really trust to interpret Scripture are Calvin and yourself, and you only trust yourself on Thursdays before noon.
7. For you, a Baptist and stupid are the same word.
8. A “Reformed Baptist” and a “square circle” are equally as difficult for you to imagine.
9. You wonder what the Holy Spirit was up to between the times of Paul and Calvin.
10. You think women belong in the home and not in any pulpit, much less a staff position in large churches.
11. At some point in your life, you honestly believed that the only people who are saved are you and your buddy who thinks just like you, and then you kind of have to wonder about him because he DOES think just like you.
12. You think any church that has more than 200 people is probably apostate.
13. You are personally repulsed by Campus Crusade for Christ.
14. It is harder for you to keep the Sabbath than it is to fill out your taxes.
15. You keep telling yourself that Willow Creek has to be a really bad dream.
16. You’ve considered stoning someone.
17. You’ve seriously thought about lighting up a cigarette in church.
18. You think “that Pope as the Antichrist thing” should never have been taken out of the Confession.
19. Saying a blessing before the first round of drinks doesn’t seem strange to you at all.
20. Your favorite Bible is your “Authorized Bahnsen Version.”
21. You’re convinced that everyone in your Presbytery is secretly a 33rd degree Mason.
22. You know that the Apocrypha doesn’t belong in the canon, but you wonder sometimes whether we should add Van Til’s, “The Defense of the Faith.”
23. You pray daily for God to release His judgment on para-church ministries.
24. You think no true evangelism has been done without at least 3 lengthy quotes from the Confession.
25. You can’t figure out why God didn’t take Van Til like He did Enoch.
26. For you, tobacco is its own major food group.
27. You like Sproul Jr. a whole lot better than his father.
28. You think John Gerstner was an Arminian who knows better now.
29. You think the “Concerned Presbyterians” are way too moderate.
30. The only reason you haven’t condemned Covenant Seminary is because you went there and you don’t want to invalidate your entire theological training.
31. You have no idea what personality type you are, which explains why you are a TR.

Predestined Cheater Caught

May 22, 2019

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PSA from a random internet comment…this is a filler post just because we thought the message was important….

Tuesday 15 June

By Reformed Cheater
Highest Rank vote downvote up

After 10 yrs of marriage, I was pursued by a woman and I gave in. I knew it was the wrong thing to do so I ended the affair. The pursuing woman wrote my wife and spilled the whole story. I was devastated by the whole event. I loved my wife and deeply regretted what I had done. Of course the pain she suffered was great. I write this because all situations are different. I knew I was wrong and repented to my wife and to god. I will never cheat again and yes, I can be trusted to never cheat again. After the pain that my wife and I went through because of this, I will never do such a thing again. It is better for two people to reconcile and live in love than to live in the memory of a failed relationship that was once wonderful. I love my wife and although she will never forget what I did, I have devoted my life to re-establishing my love and trust to this wonderful woman.

http://www.asylum.com/2010/06/14/when-women-cheat-what-4-real-guys-learned-from-infidelity/?icid=main|main|dl4|link3|http%3A%2F%2Fwww.asylum.com%2F2010%2F06%2F14%2Fwhen-women-cheat-what-4-real-guys-learned-from-infidelity%2F

Special Discernmentalist Alert—Spurgeon Exposed: Reported Evidence recorded that he slid into False Teaching…

May 11, 2019

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 James Grant wrote: “With the deadly heresies entertained and taught by the Plymouth Brethren, in relation to some of the most momentous of all the doctrines of the Gospel, and to which I have adverted at some length, I feel assured that my readers will not be surprised at any other views, however unscriptural and pernicious they may be, which the Darbyites have embraced and zealously seek to propagate”[20]

Breaking we’re being attacked from the grave by one of our own—Spurgeon (False Convert) who we already revealed as a False Convert wrote a critique* of one of our Truth War Pope’s Holiest of Doctrines.

 Charles Haddon Spurgeon, Pastor of the Metropolitan Tabernacle and contemporary of Darby, published criticism of Darby and Brethrenism.[19] His main criticism was that Darby and the Plymouth Brethren rejected the vicarious purpose of Christ’s obedience as well as imputed righteousness. He viewed these of such importance and so central to the Gospel that it led him to publish this statement about the rest of their belief in the Sword and Trowel.

We thought Spurgeon was more of a measure of Truthiness than that but since we exposed him as a False Convert we can’t say we’re surprised that we now have to add False Teacher to his now growing list of impurities in following our Pure Doctrines properly. Here is a quote from Spurgeon (False Convert/False Teacher)’s attack* on the founding father of our Truth War Pope’s Pure Bible Teaching:

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*- Phil Johnson’s Hugh Jass raptured this attacking critique from his Hugh Jass Spurgeon (False Convert/False Teacher) site as he didn’t want others to know that “self-respecting Calvinist” Spurgeon (False Convert/False Teacher) had impure doctrines for not following the Ways of the Master himself— the Clear Teachings of our Pope of the Truth War John MacArthur (PBUH) that: “Every Self-Respecting Calvinist Should Be A Premillennial Dispensationalist Rapture Believer” (in other words follow Darby’s teachings).

Dr. I. Todyaso of ODMafia fame called to fact check Babylon Bee

May 7, 2019

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Daily Bunker ODMs Express— Our very own Dr. I. Todyaso named Head Researcher and Fact Checker for Babylon Bee after they pledged to support us in being #1 in Absolute Truth; Alt-facts; journalism and Fake News in Discernmentalism. Quote: “We look forward to our new partnership in helping us spread our Truth War Pope’s Absolute Truth (PBUI) to more people and helping us fight the good fight in lying; slandering as well as falsely accusing others of heresy by spreading misinformation and made up quotes about them. Before the Babylon Bee there was only us and our mentor the late Ken Silva—we were lone voices in the wilderness calling out all those sliding off the True Path set before us by Calvin; purified by the Puritans and perfected by our Pope John MacArthur (PBUH). We’d like to think we taught the Bee everything we know.”—Dr. I. Todyaso of the Online Discernmentalist Mafia.

Will this match be made in heaven? We can only hope so as more people need to be exposed to the Purity of Discernmentlism’s Doctrines. Certainly the Babylon Bee and the ODMafia share the same sense of humor Doctrinal Clarity in common as this news report of theirs makes clear:

John MacArthur, pastor of Grace Community Church and president of The Master’s College and Seminary, has made a lofty promise to his congregation. He has reportedly committed to building a 20-foot thick, 30-foot high concrete wall around the entire perimeter of the church campus in order to keep out charismatics that might otherwise infiltrate their ranks.

“I will build a great wall, God willing. And I’ll build it very biblically. I will build a great, great wall all around our campus—and I’ll make the Pentecostals pay for it. Mark my words,” MacArthur was quoted as saying Friday.

—Tyrone V. Hoofendorfer for the Online Discernmentalist Mafia on Daily Bunker ODMs Express.

Pope Pyro the First says: “Education Smeducation!”

April 20, 2019

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Our Illustrious Infallible Grand Poobah the Most Inerrant Most Holy Pope Pyro I aka John MacArthur (PBUH) decrees: “Education smeducation…students keep your mouth shut…I am the Master and you barely worthy to sit at my anointed feet of discernmentalism…I have no need of degrees as  I already know all Truth. Did Paul have a  degree? Did Spurgeon? For I was personally appointed by God to lead the Truth War and spread disimformation slander discernmentalism. I know all Truth and history as I was there.”

Elsewhere Phil Johnson aka Hugh Jass noted that our Holy mecca Vatican school University of Discernmentalism is under attack:

Pastor John MacArthur has described the probation of his Master’s University and Seminary by an accrediting agency as an “orchestrated” attack, possibly by Satan, and directed students to keep quiet about the controversy.

A Nov. 29 report from the Chronicle of Higher Education published an audio recording of an hourlong sermon from August wherein the 79-year-old Reformed pastor told the student body that their accreditor’s actions amounted to an effort “orchestrated, if not by humans, by Satan himself.”

MacArthur also told students not to ask questions about the accreditation issues, they had no right to learn the details, and that it was not their responsibility.

“There are things that God hates, right?” he said, referencing Proverbs 6. “One of them is the one who stirs up strife,” he said, urging students to keep their complaints within the university and seminary.

“Keep your mouth shut,” MacArthur told them.

“Don’t stir up strife. You don’t know the whole story.”

John Calvin “Frisked” At Liberty and Grace Reformed Church

September 21, 2011

Pastor Steven Dilday in echo of George W. Bush’s “Patriot Act” opts to create the first ever “Clergy Act” in an attempt to root out all those spiritual terrorists who dare to partake in the sins of the Whore of Babylon—the Scarlet Mother of all Harlots: the Roman Catholic Cult by wearing robes and stoles to preach. Quote Steven Dilday: “this is the most pressing and urgent of issues of our time—we should hold the theology of those who wear vestments in the pulpit suspect.” One of the first victims of Pastor Dilday’s Clergy Act was a John Calvin impersonator who was held suspect for looking too sinisterly like a Jesuit gestapo in his black robes:

We most mightily thank Pastor Dilday for bringing this clear and most important teaching on one  of  “the most pressing and urgent of issues of our time.” Why if a John Calvin impersonator can be held theologically suspect then we must also hold the real Calvin theologically suspect! On a related note—Pastor Dilday elsewhere declared that Calvinists should abandon Calvin for not being Truly Refomed and Calvinistic enough. We agree as Calvin was a little too Semi-Pelagian for our tastes and did not hold to the Truth of the Ways of our Master.

Remember this is a Truth War after-all so we must hold everyone accountable to ourStandard of ourTruth of ourPure Doctrines. Thankfully you have this humble Truly Reformed Bible-Believing Truth War Discernment Ministry to Take A Stand in ourDoctrines on “this most pressing and urgent of issues of our time.” We here at this ministry are all about grace and nothing but Grace… in fact we are the most Grace-loving man-hating site on the net. We would never ever heap the burden of the Law upon you or preach anything like a Works-Salvation unlike those Grace-hating man-glorfiying Catholic-worshippers. We just expect you to keep ourRules lest we deem you unworthy of God’s Grace and therefore unfit for the Kingdom.

So Liberty and Grace To You, God’s Only Elect in the Great Grace of the wide and loving mercy of our Angry God’s Sovereign Hate and Wrath.

—————————–

Update # 1: Martin Luther wore vestments clearly he must have hated liberty and grace for partaking in the sin of the Papists.

Update # 2: We caught one of our own Ken Silva wearing a bathrobe… he must be on the Road to Rome. Now we must put his site under surveillance.

Update # 3: Johnathan Edwards wore a clerical collar… a clear perversion of the Doctrines of Grace.

Update # 4: We wiretapped Ken Silva’s phone and overheard Ken talking with Chris Rosebrough (an avowed Lutheran) and Ingrid of SOL/Crosstalk (a possible Lutheran). Now we must really put his site under surveillance as now we really have reason to suspect that he is Emerging into Rome.

Update # 5: Oh horror of horrors… the Ways of the Master himself caught preaching sans coat and tie in a Rick Warrenesque shirt. He’s one step closer to Rick Warren’s heretical Purpose-Driven Agenda.