Archive for the ‘the devil’ Category

Hurricane Irene: God’s Wrath Against Satan’s Holiday

September 19, 2011

Northeastern states are facing a jack-o’-lantern shortage this Helloween after Hurricane Irene destroyed hundreds of pumpkin patches across the region, farmers say. Boo…freaking hoo…God hates Pumpkins…We Know! Every Helloween evil Arminian Papist Islamofascists join together with Pagan Secular Humanist Satanist Evilutionist Darwinianists by setting candles in Pumpkins and lighting them near their couches so they can chant their New Age mystical prayers in an attempt to try to destroy our Holy Doctrines.

Also on that unholy night of heathenism, the unholy alliance of Roman Arminian VaticanIslamists and Athiestic Satanic Enviromentalist Communist Socialist Darwin-worshippers go from door to door yelling “Trick-or-Treat” and kidnap pregnant Bible-Believing Protestants who don’t give them candy and force them at gunpoint to abort their fetuses so that they can drink their blood while committing acts of sodomy and other fornications.

Also they practice their favorite activity of sacrificing goats, pigs, sheeps, cats and Bible-Believing Protestant children on altars built to worship their false Pumpkin god the Jack-o-Lantern while reciting satanic verses from New Age Catholic Bible Perversions in Satan’s tongue—Latin.

This is what Helloween is all about and why Pumpkins are an abomination to God. I attest to you all of this is Absolute Biblically-Correct Factual Truth and not made up by any man as: “I myself have been a forty-five year student of the satanically inspired, centuries-old conspiracy to use government, education, and media to destroy every vestige of Christianity within our society and establish a new world order. Having read at least fifty books on the Illuminati, I am convinced that it exists and can be blamed for many of man’s inhumane actions against his fellow man during the past two hundred years.”

If you don’t believe me just click on this link: Helloween-Satan’s unholyday. Thankfully you have Godly Bible-Believing Online Discernment Ministries like this one that refuse to compromise on our Pure Doctrines. We must all do our part to take a stand in our angry God’s Sovereign Wrath and the Hard Truths of the Bible in defense of our Holy Doctrines. We must expose all and warn all on the evils of Pumpkins. We must leave no hidden evil uncovered.

Advertisements

Rick Warren and Islamists’ Secret Death Star Plans Exposed

May 18, 2011

“We are currently prototyping and testing our global P.E.A.C.E. plan.”—Rick Warren, USA Today

Rick Warren seen secretly plotting with Islamists to inact the terror of his New Age Purpose-Driven Global Peace Plan across the universe. Part of Rick Warren’s plan is to build a fully operational Death Star with the aid of Islamists.  Warren expects the Death Star to be fully operational by 2013—Warren’s Death Star will force Christians to support his New Age Purpose-Driven Global Peace Plan or so Discernmentalist Researchmentalist experts say. “Rick Warren Hits Home Run with Announcement of Global Peace Plan to Battle the Giants of Our World.” —Assist News Agency

Warren’s Death Star, which is believed to have the capacity to neutralize the minds of an entire planet, was adopted from designs stolen from George Lucas’ studios and used by Vladimir Putin in his successful takeover of Russia in the late 1900s. It was re-stolen by Rick Warren and in the works using the gargantuan profits made by both Halliburton and Islamists in the Iraq War, now referred to as ‘Liberating Iraq’s Oil.’

Brannon Howse says of Rick Warren’s Global Peace Plan:

Certainly the world is all about solving its problems without the God of the Bible. Yet many professing Christians are rushing to remedy the world’s troubles in ways that are without the support of Scripture, some even in contradiction to what the Scriptures teach. Rick Warren’s global P.E.A.C.E. plan is one of many programs and teachings that, for the most part, cannot be reconciled with God’s prophetic Word. It is Warren’s “50-year plan” to cure global issues such as “pandemic diseases, extreme poverty, illiteracy, corruption, global warming, [and] spiritual emptiness” (see http://www.thebereancall.org). He claims that his social-works agenda developed from his reading of the Gospels–that Jesus gave him the model that was the antidote to the five biggest problems on the planet (see http://www.thebereancall.org). Warren subsequently expanded that model from an exclusive endeavor of Christianity to one requiring the support of all religions.

Rick Warren’s “ill-curing” ecumenical agenda is illogical as well as unbiblical. How can his game plan for remedying “spiritual emptiness” work with those who promote a false spirituality?   We agree which is why there are a number of pastors, ministries and authors throughout the world who are opposing Rick Warren, including Dr. John MacArthur, who exposed Warren in a chapter in his book called Fool’s Gold by Dr. John McArthur. We all must take a stand against Rick Warren‘s secret New Age Purpose-Driven Global Peace Death Star Plans.

Research Robot Monkeys Fighting Snakes On A Plane

July 8, 2010

Recently we released our Research Robot Monkeys on a plane full of apostate Emergents who were flying on an Arminian Airlines flight bound for Rome. Our Research Robot Monkeys caught those evil Emergents in the act of praying silent New Age heretical Roman Catholic “wordless” Contemplative Centering Prayers. Those Emergents were on their way to sitting on couches with candles while drinking coffee with the Pope and Dalai Lama.

(Arminan Airlines Symbol Courtesy of the Devil. Our Research Robot Monkeys in a fury of Researchmentalism noted that the Double A in the symbol of Arminian Airlines also could stand for Apostate Atheists).

Angered by all that they observed and that those apostates wouldn’t bow down before our Pure Truth Wars Doctrines©®™ our Research Robot Monkeys began stoning all those man-centered Grace-hating dark ignorant man-loving heretical semi-Pelagian reprobated sinners by flinging feces at them. We proudly bring you our Research Robot Monkeys’ adventures on worldly apostate airlines every Mon-Fri. at 6 pm now only on GOIP-ODM TV.

“Calvinism Unnatural”: Gay Christians Say

July 3, 2010

Fellow Discernmentalists…Beware… We are Under Attack again. The Gay Christian League of Anti-Christs for the Destruction of Biblical Morality have issued this controversial statement:

We have to continue to witness against the evil of Calvinism and pray that the Lord will open the blind eyes of those deceived by this unnatural behavior. We’re not remotely concerned about being politically correct about this issue. We know that Calvinists have chosen to continue believing in their fatalistic and self-destructive philosophy. We only pray that God will deliver them and change them to accepting their God-ordained Freedom in Christ. Yes Calvinism is unnatural…for who in their right mind would willing comply with subjecting themselves to being a mere automaton slave of the unpredictable whims of a fickle God of Wrath? No we are not robot zombie puppets…after all for Freedom’s sake Christ came to set us Free.   

Oh the horror of such rank heresy and bigoted terms! How dare anyone attack our Pure Biblical Truth Gospel like that. How dare anyone suggest that such a thing as Libertarian Free Will exists…why that goes against every moral fiber of our sound Biblical eisegesis exegesis. How can grace be grace if it is a free gift that just anyone can freely choose to accept and how can grace be a free gift if it wasn’t freely given to those whom God fatalistically pre-chose to give it to? We are appalled that anyone would dare think  differently than us. I mean it’s not like those stone dead in their sins can hear God’s voice anyway. No that would be too synergistic and we know that God never ever cooperates with man in anything. Remember these tried and true Pure words from our Gospels:  “Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated”—which we know has everything to do with salvation in Christ.

Getting back to The Gay Christian League of Anti-Christs for the Destruction of Biblical Morality, their attacks have even taken a far sinister turn when they suggested that John Calvin was actually a queerosexual. We can’t stand for this bigoted libel and slander of  ‘a great and holy man of God so greatly used by our Absolutely Sovereign Lord of Vengeful Jealous Wrath without whom we would all still be struggling in the dark ignorance of Roman Arminianism that man-exalting heresy.’ Some members of  The Gay Christian League of Anti-Christs for the Destruction of Biblical Morality have stated that Calvinists were born the way they are and choose to remain Calvinist and glorify their mentally unbalanced disease:

However the large majority of  The Gay Christian League of Anti-Christs for the Destruction of Biblical Morality believe that Calvinism is a choice and that Calvinists should repent of their abnormal, unnatural and unbiblical behavior.  The Gay Christian League of Anti-Christs for the Destruction of Biblical Morality have even set up centers for deprogramming Calvinists.  We have reason to suspect that the leaders who caused all these recent attacks are none other than Greg McCaw a self-avowed gay queer fag Emergent Christian (an oxymoron if there ever was one)—in conjunction with a heretic named Tom and another fag named Alvin McEwen. Fellow Discernmentalists we must not stand for these bigoted lies against our Pure Biblical Gospel Truth Doctrines—the Once For All Biblically Correct Pure Gospel Truth Doctrines delivered to the Saints like John Owen and Augustus Toplady lest the Church fall into the hands of the Emerging Homosexualist agenda of Emergent apostates.

P. S. We are not bigots for taking a stand against all you Arminian, Emergent and queer reprobates…we are just speaking the Truth in love and grace of course!

Breaking News: Ingrid and the Mighty Slice Of Laodicea got Raptured from the Net!

June 8, 2010

           

I couldn’t believe my eyes today as our valiant Research Robot Monkeys were combing the net of our favorite Discernmentalists’ websites and blogs—when they  suddenly  noticed the absence of the presence of one of our  very favorite Mighty Truth Warrior blogs (under our own Affectionate Uncle Pastor-Teacher’s personal site, of course)—which had mysteriously and completely vanished into thin air…Poof…gone but not forgotten. Quite frankly we were quite shocked and  saddened to see that Ingrid Schlueter (who partners with the Great Pastor-Teacher himself on Christian Researchmentalist Network sometimes) and her Mighty Slice of Laodicea had been raptured off the Internet.

In a private conference with my fellow Discernmentalists, Dr. Truthslayer quipped:  “It has to be another evil Emergent plot at work.” I however fear for the very worse. I fear that Obama has finally taken control of the Internet in order to shut down any sites that are fighting against for the Truth. I mean why else would a blog that is so dedicated to lies and slander Truth disappear and vanish completely without a trace like that? We here and of the OD Mafia promise to stand firm in our convictions for protecting the Truth against Obamanation and E-mergent-ness. If Obama or an Emergent or any of our other enemies try to rapture up our Truth Warrior blogs, they’ll have to pry them from our cold dead hands first and even then we won’t let them.

Fellow Discernmentalists and Truth Warriors against for Truth, let us now take a moment of silence to remember with fondness the good ole days—back when Ingrid sliced up the Truth fought for the Truth on Slice of Laodicea before it succumbed to a genuine case of Internet rapture. Here to help us pay our respects and tribute to Ingrid’s SOL is a commemorative memorial photo of the former Great Slice of  Laodicea as it was in all of it’s Truth-Warrior missive glory before it’s tragic end of being raptured from  the net:

——————————————————————————————————-

Farewell Mighty Slice of Laodicea, we will miss you (and all the lies and slanders that you spread against fellow Christian Brothers and Sisters over the years of your short Internet lifespan) so! R. I. P… You may be gone, but you’re definitely not forgotten.

P. S. We heard a rumor that before Slice got raptured off the net they were working on a new pocket-sized version of their Truth-Grinder for a test market.

Brian McLaren Worse Than Hitler

June 3, 2010

 

Commenters on Chris Rosebrough’s Mighty Truthwarrior blog-site of extreme Discernmentalism, Extreme Theology note:  

The  “theology of fascism” sounds EXACTLY like the excerpt I’ve heard from Brian McLaren’s “A New kind of Christianity”.

Not to be outdone by Chris Rosebrough’s commenters we’ve come to a more Extreme conclusion that Brian McLaren is in fact worse than Hitler. What makes Brian McLaren worse than Hitler you may ask?—why he dares to question our Pure Doctrines! Yes!, questioning our Pure Doctrines is worse than genocide as to question our Pure Doctrines may turn people against True Christianity (Ken Silva’s and John MacArthur’s interpretation of Calvin’s Reformed Christianity) and therefore deceive millions into hell.  I mean at least with genocide the Regenerate Elect will automatically go to heaven while the unregenerate reprobates will automatically be damned to hell by God’s Sovereign good pleasure of course which works out to His Absolute Glory (which is the Absolute Biblical Truth Gospel of the Truth Wars™).

Besides the most Pure and Godly of all Christians the Puritans commited mass genocide against Native Americans so that should exempt Hitler from being a total False Convert in that respect for at least he praticed the Orthodox Orthopraxy of the Puritans’ Pure Doctrines unlike Brian McLaren. Speaking of Brian McLaren—here is an insidious quote that is just dripping and oozing with fascism in every word from his hideous new book,  A New Kind of Christianity:

A large number of both Protestant and Catholic leaders aligned with a neoconservative political ideology, trumpeting what they called “conservative family values,” but minimizing biblical community values. They supported wars of choice, defended torture, opposed environmental protection, and seemed to care more about protecting
the rich from taxes than liberating the poor from poverty or minorities from racism. They spoke against big government as if big was bad, yet they seemed to see big military and big business as inherently good. They wanted to protect unborn human life inside the womb, but didn’t seem to care about born human life in slums or prisons or nations they considered enemies. They loved to paint gay people as a threat to marriage, seeming to miss the irony that heterosexual people were damaging marriage at a furious pace without any help from gay couples. They consistently relegated females to second-class status, often while covering up for their fellow males when they fell into scandal or committed criminal abuse. They interpreted the Bible to favor the government of Israel and to marginalize Palestinians, and even before September 11, 2001, I feared that through their influence Muslims were being cast as the new scapegoats, targets of a scary kind of religious inspired bigotry. (7)

If that doesn’t prove that Brian McLaren is worse than Hitler and that all Emergent/Emerging Postmodern type peoples are heretical Roman mystic fascists from hell then ye must be spiritually blind.

God’s Only Inerrant Party: Or Postmodern Fascists…

May 31, 2010

Said Drucker, “Fascism, however, goes much further in its negation of the past than any earlier political movement, because it makes this negation its main platform. What is even more important, it denies simultaneously ideas and tendencies which are in themselves antithetic. It is antiliberal, but also anticonservative; antireligious and antiatheist, anticapitalist and antisocialist…—the list could be continued indefinitely.”[9]

We Discernmentalists believe in Fascism all the way as we define ourselves solely by what we take a stand against instead of what we are for. We all take a self-righteous stand in God’s Absolute Sovereign Wrath when we spread lies, slander and misinformation come down negatively against the following: liberals, liberalism, liberal conservatives, conservative liberals, conservatives who don’t believe exactly as we do, libertarian conservatism, libertarians, other religions, religious persons of other religious groups, other Christians, non-Christian groups, non-Calvinist Christian groups, all non-Calvinists, other Calvinists, atheists, social justice, the Social Gospel, socialism, communism, true capitalism, etc.— the list could be continued indefinitely.

We are reactionary to the tee as we overreact and protest against anything that we can’t understand or that we personally dislike. Why bother to learn from those that we disagree with as we are by nature born correct, inerrant and always Right being of the Chosen and Frozen Master Religious Race (Calvinazis) so that those with whom we disagree are by default already and automatically decreed and declared always wrong from the foundation of the world.

The New World Order Book Encyclopedia of Discernmentalism defines Fascism as follows:

– an Extreme Ultra Radical Right-Wing religio-politico philosophy bent on total totalitarian control of the Church and the State

– the underlying philosophy of our Religious Right (God’s Only Inerrant Party)

– The Conservative Political Platform of Ronald Reagan

– Brannon Howse’s favorite Discernmentalist tool

– Chris Rosebrough and Pirate Radio

– Ken Silva’s  secret agenda

– John MacArthur’s no-Grace Community Church

“Fascist totalitarianism has no positive theology, but confines itself to refuting, fighting and denying all traditional ideas and ideologies…Fascism not only refutes all old ideas but denies, for the first time in European history, the foundation on which all former political and social systems had been built…”[5]

 

Other links of interest on Fascism:

All Hail, Capitalism’s Savior!…

May 27, 2010

 

“If we ever forget that we’re one nation under GOD, then we will be a nation gone under.” — Ronald Reagan

This is why Ronald Reagan was the last True President that we ever had and why Reagan was Elected the Final President of America, so bow down and submit unto His Pure Doctrines:

Ronald Wilson Reagan was indeed Capitalism’s True Saviour! This was even prophesized in the Truth War Bible. The Gospel of Reaganism According to Worldview Weekend Truth Warriors Chapter 11:

Worldview Weekend’s Code Blue Rally is for adults and students age 9 to 109 because the church in America is in critical condition. Christian adults and young people alike embody worldviews that are no different from those outside the church. Jesus’ warning in Revelation 3:16 should be ringing in our collective ears: “So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I am going to vomit you out of my mouth” (HCSB). Separation from Christ means spiritual death follows quickly. For that reason, Worldview Weekend has declared CODE BLUE for America’s church. Urgent action is vital, or the vibrant Christian faith we all should be sharing will soon be dead. 
 

Worldview Weekend is committed to a four prong strategy for its Code Blue Campaign: 1). Teach Christians to contend for the faith through apologetics training. 2). Teach Christian to think like Biblically minded Christians through worldview training. 3). Teach Christians to evangelize like Jesus did using the Moral Law 4). Challenge Christians to make sure they are true converts by examining their lives in light of the Biblical hallmarks of a Christian. These hallmarks can be found in the book of I John. 

And remember to:

Stop Supporting Abortion, Socialism, and Anti-American Politicians When You Can Support the Exact Opposite with A Reagan.com Email Address

The inspiration for @Reagan.com came from Michael Reagan when he realized that most of the organizations providing email services are supporters of the Obama, Pelosi, and Reid agenda and do not adhere to true Reagan Conservative values. �If a fellow Conservative has a problem or feels uncomfortable using the services of a Liberal organization, so do I” Said Michael Reagan. “I see a large number of people who believe in Reagan Conservative Values unwittingly supporting businesses and organizations that support and promote Liberal and Socialist causes! That has to stop.” Click here to get your Reagan.com Email address now: http://www.reagan.com/email/ref.php?refid=1269141911

@Reagan.com Email service provides its users with peace of mind by knowing that none of the proceeds will go to support any liberal cause.

Yes we all should bow down and Obey Reagan’s Pure Doctrines as Capitalism is Absolute Biblical Truth of this we are Absolutely Certain.

The Unfolding Saga Of Beck-Gate

May 19, 2010

    

Discernmentalists we are under attack again as usual. This time one of our Pure Schools has let the apostate and non-Christian Glenn Beck speak at it’s Graduation ceremony. Glenn Beck is a Mormon as you know and Mormonism is not only heretical but also a False Religion with an unbiblical and False Jesus.  Why would any of our Pure Schools invite an unregenerate reprobate to speak to the regenerate and True Godly Elect? All they are doing is inviting danger into their midst…who knows some of the audience may really be False Converts who were never saved to begin with and now they may have slipped up big time and have  lost their Sanctification status.

We are appalled at the Seeker-Sensitiveness of Liberty University letting this ecumenical heresy slide. What happened to Liberty’s Godly Stand in our Truth Wars…are they now Emergent?  Ever since Jerry Falwell passed on to Heaven, Liberty has been getting more and more worldly. Why they’ve even let Arminian heretics on their staff—sheer blasphemy as We Know Arminians are unsaved. We must take a self-righteous stand in God’s Absolute Sovereign Wrath to put a stop to this.

However we all still must continue to stand against the socialist false gospel of socialist justice.

Terrorist Beard Alert System

May 6, 2010

Frequently we get questions about beards so our very own Dr. I. Todyaso wrote a award winning massive on the subject of Bible-Based Beards which gets hit up very often by those wanting to learn the Absolute Biblical Truth about beards. Recently however the question of terrorists’ beards came up so a few of our Research Robot Monkeys infiltrated secret terrorist bases deep in the mountain caves of Pakistan and elsewhere. Our Research Robot Monkeys with their perfected skills in discernmentalism came up with the above poster in order to better understand the phenomenon of terrorists’ beards.

You can never be too careful about these things for your next door neighbor might secretly be in league with the terrorists all based on the style of beard they wear. Aparrently terrorists dye their beards to expose their true colors and show you their thoughts, feelings and true intentions—but usually if you are close enough to see a suspected terrorist’s beard color by then it is too late. Never fear if you heed our warnings and advice we can help you expose a true terrorist’s beard from a fake terrorist’s beard and a Bible-Based Beard:

Step # 1: It’s all in the dye job but don’t get too close always observe a suspected terrorist’s beard from as far away as possible. Particularly using far-reaching telescopes, Research Robot Monkeys or GOIP Satellites helps in observing suspected terrorist’s beards from a distance.

Step # 2: If someone has a pet name for their beard they are most  likely a terrorist.

Step # 3: Use Bible-Based beard mite identifying scanners in order to scan where the suspected terrorist’s beard mites are from for if the beard mites are from anywhere near the vicinity of the Middle East then we have a match for terrorism.

Step # 4: Terrorists are tricky though and sometimes shave off their real beards and trade them in for fake beards if that happens it becomes tricky to identify them. In order to expose a suspected terrorist then you must discover where their fake beard comes from. If it is from anywhere other than America they are probably a terrorist.

Last, Bible-Based Beards  have already been explained by Dr. I. Todyaso so read his massive on them. Remember that we say all of this in the love of our God’s Absolute Sovereign Wrath in which we stand so heed all  of our precautions and remember as the Patron Saint of our Truth War John MacArthur says:

From the very beginning, the battle between good and evil has been a battle for the truth. The serpent, in the Garden of Eden, began his temptation by questioning the truthfulness of God’s previous instruction: “Indeed, has God said, ‘You shall not eat from any tree of the garden’? … “You surely shall not die! For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil” (Gen. 3:1,4–5). And this has been his tactic ever since—casting doubt on the straightforward revelation of God.

Throughout the centuries, this age-old war on truth has been repeatedly fought even within the church. The biblical writer Jude, for instance, faced such a situation when he wrote his epistle. Though he had wanted to write about the wonders of the common salvation that he shared with his readers, he was compelled instead to urge his readers to “contend earnestly for the faith which was once for all delivered to the saints” (v. 3). False teachers, like spiritual terrorists, had secretly crept into the church (v. 4). The lies they were spreading, like doctrinal hand grenades, were spiritually devastating. They were enemies of the truth, and Jude was compelled to expose and confront them.

Over the past few decades, the church in the United States has fought this very battle on several fronts. In the sixties and seventies, the doctrine of biblical inerrancy came under direct attack. The Bible, it was said, was full of errors, and thus could not be trusted as historically or scientifically accurate. In the eighties and nineties, the sufficiency of Scripture was targeted. The charismatic movement (with its need for additional revelation from God) and Christian psychology (with its emphasis on neo-Freudian counseling techniques) attempted to undermine the fact that God “has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness through the true knowledge of Him,” as revealed in Scripture (2 Pet. 1:3).

As the millennium drew to a close, the attack on God’s revealed truth came in a new way. This time the relevance of Scripture was the point of attack. Rather than being directly maligned, the Bible was quietly discarded by church leaders for whom biblical teaching was simply not a major priority. “The Seeker Movement,” more or less advocated limiting the presentation of divine truth to what unbelievers are willing to tolerate.

A new movement is now arising in and around evangelical circles. Now, it appears, the main object of attack will be the perspicuity of Scripture. Influenced by postmodern notions about language, meaning, subjectivity, and truth, many younger evangelicals are questioning whether the Word of God is clear enough to justify certainty or dogmatism on any point of doctrine. Ironically, this new movement more-or-less ignores all of the previous debates. Instead, its proponents are much more interested in dialogue and conversation. As a result, propositional truth (which tends to end dialogue rather than start it) is scorned and rebuffed as an outmoded vestige of twentieth-century modernism.

This movement is very diverse and still developing, but it is generally referred to as “the Emerging Church.

A terrorist just may be hiding out in your church but now thanks to our impeccable researchmentalism you know how to expose them.