Archive for the ‘Sovereign Wrath Community Church’ Category

Your Best Hell Now!

April 28, 2019

Introducing a new book recently rediscovered in our super secret archives. In Your Worst Hell Now aka Your Best Hell Now sinisterly ecumenical possible semi-pelagian quasi-universalist mystic Emergence guru Rob Bell teaches heretical apostates these essential Christian non-Christian Doctrines:

  • That God is everywhere
  • Including hell
  • That God is love
  • That God’s love wins
  • That God wishes that all might be saved
  • Among other  square quotes “sinister” and biblical unbiblical ideas

We Online Discernmentalists know that no one before murky mystic Rob Bell, an icon in the postliberal cult of the Emergent Church and teaching pastor at Mars Hill Bible Church, taught this:

“In souls, there is no illness caused by evilness [ἀπὸ κακίας] that is impossible to cure [ἀδύνατον θεραπευθῆναι] for God the Logos, who is superior to all.” (CC 8.72)”
Origen, Contra Celsum

“Christ reigns in order to save.” (Hom. in Luc. 30)”
Origen, Homilies on Luke: Fragments on Luke
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As you can see from those sinister quotes above—this is why we of the ODMafia community would never under any circumstances recommend Rob Bell’s book. Our Research Robot Monkeys have just informed us that our old enemy Mike Morell recommends Rob Bell’s books to everyone that in itself should tell you how sinfully apostate this book isn’t.

Breaking News: Our Ex-Leader Deposed!

April 26, 2019

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Spreading the ODM Gospel of fear and militarism! at Ron Luce’s Battle Cry training camps for Truth Warriors.

“This is a real war… I want an attacking church.” – Ron Luce

In case you are wondering we had to renounce our ex-fuhrer for sliding into  the apostasy of the sissified Evanjellyfish weak wimpy gutless grace girlymen: “…(Ron) Luce painted himself as the victim in an interview with Christianity Today: “I guess we’re guilty of reaching as many kids as we could, thinking our business model was sound.”” You hear that weak gutless spineless response—we would expect that from crybaby liberal snowflakes but  A True Man of God in our Truth War would never feel victimized:

…I don’t know if you’re interested in boxing. It’s a…it’s far…it’s the sort of last most barbaric holdover from the past where you pound people’s brains senseless. It’s amazing with all of the things that people scream about in our society…don’t eat potato chips and things like that…that somebody doesn’t rise up and call a halt to people bashing each other’s brains in on purpose. But as brutal as it is, boxers fight with leather gloves padded to cushion the blow. You should know that, in the days of the New Testament, Greek boxers had fur-lined gloves. There was just a little fur and leather, no padding. They were made generally of ox hide. And stitched into the glove at the knuckles was lead and iron. When Paul talks about fighting the good fight, he’s talking about some serious action. And in a Greek boxing match, the loser had his eyes gouged out as emblematic of his failure.Boxing, to us, is not what it was then. It was a death/life struggle. Serious conflict from which you could emerge dead or lifetime blind. I just don’t think the church understands that. I…I met with the pastor of the largest seeker friendly church, and he said to me, “You know what your problem is MacArthur? You need to lighten up.” And I smiled. I said, “It’s really hard to do in the middle of war.” Fight the good fight. It is a good fight, isn’t it? It’s a noble fight. To fight against the kingdom of darkness with the truth. The only weapon we have is the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God, right?

And I think that’s one of the serious problems today, is people aren’t taking the battle as seriously as they have to take it. And He helps us with that. “Fight the good fight of faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you are called.” What does that phrase mean? He simply means this: Get a grip on the fact that you’re dealing with eternal issues. How can you treat the ministry shallow……in shallow terms? How can you treat it trivially? This is war, and eternity is at stake. “You knew that…He says in verse 12…when you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses. You knew that when you confessed Christ, when we were all there gathered.” He’s probably referring to His ordination when the elders laid hands on Him and set Him apart from the ministry. “You confessed at that time that this was a mater of eternal issues. You’re not just slapping people around with some puffy gloves here. This is a life and death matter. Get a grip on it.”

A True Man of God would never run as we are suppose to keep up our good fight in victimizing others fighting for our Truth and the purity of our Doctrines. After all this is the Truth War and we must keep fighting so that we can feel persecuted by ourselves win the war against liberals; Emergents; globalists; socialists; Evanjellyfish and our many enemies of our Truth. What happened to the Ron who stood in the greatness of our militant dogma?  For shame—what happened to this Ron?:

BattleCry Philadelphia was more than just a vulgar carnival designed to suck donations into the coffers of Ron Luce’s corporation “Teen Mania”. Indeed, it had a point, to recruit the future elite “warriors” in the coming battle against the separation of church and state. It turned dark and frightening on Saturday afternoon. After Franklin “Islam is a Wicked Religion” Graham came out to thunder against the evils of homosexuality and the Iraqi people (whom he considers to be exactly the same people as the ancient Babylonians who enslaved the tribes of Israel and deserving, one would assume, the exact same fate) we heard an explosion. Flames shot out on stage and a team of Navy Seals was shown on the big TV monitors in full camouflage creeping forward down the hallway from the locker room with their M16s. They were hunting us, the future Christian leaders of America. Two teenage girls next to me burst into tears and even I, a jaded middle-aged male, almost jumped out of my skin. I imagined for that moment what it must have felt like to have been a teacher at Columbine high school. 10 seconds later they rushed out onstage and pointed their guns in our direction firing blanks spitting flames. About 1000 shots and bang, we were all dead.

What would our most Biblical and most Godly President ever say? What would the late great Pastor-Teacher to the Internet Congregation to the True Remnant of ODM Truth Warriors think?…in fact we already know as my co-warrior in our Truth War Dr. Itodyaso wrote the other day “he is rolling over in his grave.” Thankfully we came under the leadership of a True MAN OF GOD years ago even before Ron Luce was dethroned—who has led us to higher standards of godliness and self-righteousness in protecting our Pure Doctrines and militant dogmas—that True Man of God is the Pope of our Truth War aka John MacArthur (PBUH).

Praise God For His Sovereign Wrath Against Japan!

March 14, 2011

We are so great-ful for God unleashing His commendable hate-filled Sovereign Wrath against His unholy enemies in Japan. We have been so disgusted by Japan’s heathen ways for awhile now—for one: “Japan gave us pokemon, so God gave them an earthquake/tsunami as punishment one-two … you do the math.” Note: Eric Barger says that Pokemon is responsible for most of the criminal acts in the world commited by young perpetrators.

Secondly Japan is full of atheists and reprobated apostate heretics like Roman Catholics, Universalists and Arminians. This is why we are so encouraged and overjoyed that God has poured down His wrath upon Japan so that He may be glorified in sending as many people (that He foreordained not to love from the foundation of the world) to hell as possible through the Sovereign Grace of His great Law, Wrath and commendable hatred towards non-Elect sinners.

We only pray that God might smite more of His enemies. Lord hear our Imprecatory Prayer and let Your nostrils flare with the flames of Your anger and curse the anti-Haters. Remember all you unregenerate reprobates God had His Hand on the earth and waves as it was causing destruction in Japan as God is in Absolute Control over everything including the dust blowing in the wind. Anyone who believes otherwise worships Satan and that means all you Roman Arminians—you man-exalting heretics! Praise God and the Dortian Divines for our Pure Gospel Doctrines!

P. S. We believe in the Real and True God not the weak, wimpy, womanly and liberal Commie god created in the image of Rob Bell whose love wins—but the God of the Bible who is an Angry God of all consuming fire and smoke—the God who is so angry and full of commendable hatred that He may cast wicked men into hell at any given moment.

Glenn Beck And Jim Walllis Team Up Against Brannon Howse

September 1, 2010

Item #2

Glenn Beck and Jim Wallis Are Both Pushing Social Justice and an Earthly Kingdom By Brannon Howse

Am I on the only one that watched Glenn Beck’s 8-28 rally with red flags going up non-stop? The mixture of Glenn’s Mormon theology wrapped in Christian terms, combined with some of the Christian speakers made me very uncomfortable. The patriotic ecumenicalism was very unbiblical. The dominion theology of some Christians, combined with the “Kingdom of God” theology of Mormonism, combined with all faiths uniting and wrapped in the flag reveals that a one-world religion and a one-world leader will be easily accepted even by people calling themselves Christians.

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We are absolutely stunned by those who would dare attack Brannon Howse and his Absolute Truth. Note our fearless Führer has said of the recent Beck rally:

I believe the 8-27 and 8-28 rallies have greatly furthered the acceptance of ecumenicalism by even those who call themselves evangelicals. The pastors and Christian leaders (including women pastors) standing behind Glenn Beck at the end of the rally with their arms locked together looked silly and not at all like Christian statesmen. I truly believe they sold out. I do not think even one of them realizes how they compromised the true Gospel of Jesus Christ and have damaged their testimony and added massively to the acceptance of pluralism and ecumenicalism. 

Whether they know it or not; those Christians that took part in these two rallies have endorsed an overwhelmingly humanistic message that was wrapped in patriotic and Christians terms. While a few speakers tried to give a true Biblical message; I believe it was so diluted in a soup of unbiblical messages that their presence only gave credibility in the minds of non-believers and non-discerning Christians that the “God talk” was all good.

We Know that our fearless Führer Brannon doesn’t “endorse an overwhelmingly humanistic message that is wrapped in patriotic and Christians terms”—just take his Worldview Test you ignorant reprobates and you’ll see, you all will see. We also Know that Brannon doesn’t “accept pluralism and ecumenicalism.” Why just look at the wide and diverse range of contributors to his site—all united in the common cause of spreading a Right Wing Theocratic agenda. We agree with Brannon that we must all Take A Stand against Jim Wallis and Glenn Beck like our Mighty Führer Brannon himself and the Mighty Truth Warrior Ken Silva are doing—so remember praise to America, Capitalist Materialism, Right Wing Theocracy and to heil our Führer.

What Manner Of Calvinists Are You?

June 30, 2010

Dear Dr. Jobson,

I am a new follower of your site and the Online Discernmentalist Mafia… from what I’ve viewed so far I’m impressed but have a few quick questions for you:

Could you please tell me your standing on the 5 points of Calvinism? Do you believe in TULIP? The “Divines of Dort?” Just what manner of Calvinists are you and the rest of the crew of your fine d-i-s-s-e-r-n-m-e-n-t ministries?

Signed,

A concerned reader—I. R. Monkey

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Dear I. R. Monkey,

We assure you by our eternally secured elect salvation that we are among the highest pedigree of Calvinists. We know that we are among the Regenerate Predestined Elect for whom God chose from the foundation of the world to send His son for and to limit His atonement for—all out of His good pleasure of course and all for His glory. You see our God the True God is a jealous and vain God who needs and doesn’t need humans at the same time—but He doesn’t need just any humans—He needs Divine Truth Warrior humans. He doesn’t need Arminians, Emergents and Catholics, etc. however.

This was why we were unable to resist His great wrath rape hate grace in electing us as Truth Warriors. We not only believe in the 5 points of Calvinism that John MacArthur and Ken Silva and all our other fellow ODMs hold to but we also believe in the 4 extra points of Calvinism that all ODMs hold in common as well though we are still 1 point behind Sharin’ Whiplash. We also believe in all 5 Solas alone so you see we are above and beyond your average Calvinist for we are True Bible-Based Calvinists. We only hope that you will one day come to unconditionally accept our Pure Doctrines and teachings as Absolute Truth. We also hope through your total inability that you unconditionally accept our conditions of repentance and belief lest you be among the unregenerate reprobated non-elect sinners chosen to bear God’s Absolute Sovereign Wrath in the “real place” that is hell. We hope that clears up where we stand.

In the wide mercy of His loving wrath,

Dr. Don Jobson

 

 

 

Trish Of Way Of The Master Fame Supports The Heretical Sinner’s Prayer

June 16, 2010

        

Day by day it seems  that more and more of our Mighty Truth Warriors are falling by the way into the slippery slope of apostasy and heresy. We are appalled by such spinelessness in these Last Days when God’s very own fragile Truth is under attack daily by Spiritual Terrorists who are out to corrupt it. We must all do our part and take a stand for Absolute Biblical Truth and Absolute Biblical Certainty against these apostates so that God’s fragile Sovereign Truth might be protected from those out to destroy it.

This is why we were so disappointed when it was recently brought to our attention that Trish (of  Way Of The Master and Fish With Trish fame) and her husband’s church are so supportive of the heretical Sinner’s Prayer formula. We are so shocked that Trish’s husband’s church would stand for such man-exalting heresy especially after Way Of The Master took such a hard and self-righteous stand against Sinner’s Prayers and those churches that ask those who want to follow Jesus to recite some form of a Sinner’s Prayer. As Todd Friel has said:

The Sinner’s Prayer

As a rule, I do not lead them in prayer. It is not Biblical. If someone you know committed adultery against his wife, would you lead him back to his wife and say, “Repeat after me, I am really sorry and I shouldn’t have slept with that woman?” You would not do it in that case and you shouldn’t do it with a sinner. However, if they say they want to pray now, you can say, “Go ahead and pray and then I will pray for you.” Otherwise, send them on their way and ask them to let you know if they have made their decision. If they do, God saved them. If they don’t, you will be glad you didn’t manipulate them into prayer.

Our Research Robot Monkeys found this tract on Trish’s husband’s church Sovereign Wrath Community Church Sovereign Joy Community Church’s homepage and brought the man-centered and man-exalting semi-Pelagian errors to our attention—behold Sovereign Wrath Community Church’s Sovereign Joy Community Church’s own form of a Sinner’s Prayer:

We know what you have done Trish so there’s no need to try to hide and deny it. You’ve been caught and we’ve now exposed you for the hypocrite that you are your heretical sins before the world. Here we have zoomed in on your man-exalting heresy for Absolute Clarity’s sake:

What would John MacArthur say?* We have to wonder how many False Converts your husband’s church has produced Trish? Notice how the formula in the tract above is the same formula as your typical Sinner’s Prayer which follows as such: confess that you are a sinner, ask for forgiveness from your sins and finally ask Jesus to save you so that you can spend eternity in Heaven with Him and thank Him for the gift of salvation or some other form of this formula. Given all the evidence presented in front of you—we have one last question to ask of you Trish: “Are you a good person?” 

In order to finally get right with God we ask that you please read our excellent and quality well-researched unscholarly Discernmentalist essays: Discernmentalist Altar Calls: How To Make Sure Of Your Election and Ten reasons to UNASK Jesus from your heart.

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* John MacArthur’s Sinner’s Prayer:

How many times have we come upon writings by Reformed men, whether online or in books, denigrating the use of the sinner’s prayer? I came upon this sermon by John MacArthur of Grace Community Church and it closes with what appears to be a sinner’s prayer: “While your heads are bowed for just a moment, if you do not know Christ but you desire to receive the salvation that He offers, the forgiveness of sin and eternal life, will you in the quietness of your own heart say…Lord God, I believe in Jesus Christ, I believe that He God in flesh died on the cross to pay the penalty for my sin, rose again, provided perfect satisfaction and I receive the gift of salvation in His name, turning from my sin I commit myself to follow Him. Pray that prayer and may true salvation be yours this day. Amen. (“Looking At The Cross from God’s Perspective,” a sermon on Romans 3.24-31)”