Archive for the ‘Slice of Laodicea’ Category
September 21, 2011

Pastor Steven Dilday in echo of George W. Bush’s “Patriot Act” opts to create the first ever “Clergy Act” in an attempt to root out all those spiritual terrorists who dare to partake in the sins of the Whore of Babylon—the Scarlet Mother of all Harlots: the Roman Catholic Cult by wearing robes and stoles to preach. Quote Steven Dilday: “this is the most pressing and urgent of issues of our time—we should hold the theology of those who wear vestments in the pulpit suspect.” One of the first victims of Pastor Dilday’s Clergy Act was a John Calvin impersonator who was held suspect for looking too sinisterly like a Jesuit gestapo in his black robes:

We most mightily thank Pastor Dilday for bringing this clear and most important teaching on one of “the most pressing and urgent of issues of our time.” Why if a John Calvin impersonator can be held theologically suspect then we must also hold the real Calvin theologically suspect! On a related note—Pastor Dilday elsewhere declared that Calvinists should abandon Calvin for not being Truly Refomed and Calvinistic enough. We agree as Calvin was a little too Semi-Pelagian for our tastes and did not hold to the Truth of the Ways of our Master.

Remember this is a Truth War after-all so we must hold everyone accountable to ourStandard of ourTruth of ourPure Doctrines. Thankfully you have this humble Truly Reformed Bible-Believing Truth War Discernment Ministry to Take A Stand in ourDoctrines on “this most pressing and urgent of issues of our time.” We here at this ministry are all about grace and nothing but Grace… in fact we are the most Grace-loving man-hating site on the net. We would never ever heap the burden of the Law upon you or preach anything like a Works-Salvation unlike those Grace-hating man-glorfiying Catholic-worshippers. We just expect you to keep ourRules lest we deem you unworthy of God’s Grace and therefore unfit for the Kingdom.
So Liberty and Grace To You, God’s Only Elect in the Great Grace of the wide and loving mercy of our Angry God’s Sovereign Hate and Wrath.
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Update # 1: Martin Luther wore vestments clearly he must have hated liberty and grace for partaking in the sin of the Papists.
Update # 2: We caught one of our own Ken Silva wearing a bathrobe… he must be on the Road to Rome. Now we must put his site under surveillance.
Update # 3: Johnathan Edwards wore a clerical collar… a clear perversion of the Doctrines of Grace.
Update # 4: We wiretapped Ken Silva’s phone and overheard Ken talking with Chris Rosebrough (an avowed Lutheran) and Ingrid of SOL/Crosstalk (a possible Lutheran). Now we must really put his site under surveillance as now we really have reason to suspect that he is Emerging into Rome.
Update # 5: Oh horror of horrors… the Ways of the Master himself caught preaching sans coat and tie in a Rick Warrenesque shirt. He’s one step closer to Rick Warren’s heretical Purpose-Driven Agenda.
Tags:Mother of Harlots, Newsworthy, Online Discernmentalist Mafia, Truth War, Ways of the Master Religion Discernmentalism, Whore of Babylon, wrath, Wretched
Posted in Absolute Truth, Absolute Truth War, And they will know that we are True Christians by our Pure Doctrines!, Anger, Apostates, Arminians go to hell, Arminians will burn, Babylonian hordes, Chris Rosebrough, Deformed, Discernmentalism, Discernmentalist illogic, Discernmentalist values: fear and loathing, Discernmentalist values: fear and self-loathing, Divisional Ecumenism, Divisionism, Dortian, Ecumenical Jihad, Emergent/Emerging Church, end times/last days, entertainment...for Truth!, exempt, exemption, False Vs. True Converts, Fascists, God is Hate not love, God's Absolute Glory, God's Sovereign Wrath, grace hating man lovers, Grace-hating Pharisees, Guilty by association, Heresy, Holy Conspiracy Theories Batman!, Hugh Jass, hypocrisy, hypocrites, I*segesis, idols of Discernmentalists, ignorance is bliss!, John Calvin, Papists, Pelagian, Presbyterians, Pure Bible-teaching, Pure Doctrines, Questionable Calvinists, RCC-Pope, Reformed Rating Scale, Roman Catholic Church, Romanazi Jesuits, Romanists, Say no to Religious Liberty., Self-righteous, Semi-Donatism, Semi-Paranoid, Semi-Pelagians, Semi-Pelagisese, Semi-Pelagites, Semi-Pelagoids, setting the standard, sinners, Slice of Laodicea, Slice/Cross-Talk, so get over it, Spineless, Spiritual Terrorists, Spread the fear!, Spread the hate!, spying for Jesus, spying for the Truth, Supralapsarian, Synods of Dordect, terrorists, tinfoiled hat theology, To the Conspiracy Cave Boy-Wonder!, Truly Reformed, Uncategorized, W---Closet Socialist, Wrath not love, You are errant, YRR (Young Restless & Reformed) | 6 Comments »
June 28, 2010

Ingrid formerly of the great and mighty Truth Warrior Blog: Slice of Laodicea (which was secretly raptured off the internet after Ingrid merged with Crosstalk Blogs but not in an evil Emergent way) has finally released her brand new pocket-sized Truth Grinder in handgun form to a public test market. Now you can grind Truth with ease with this rare one of a kind SOL Collectible Pocket-Sized Truth Grinder Magnum.
Now you can turn any quote into a misquote with ease. You can spin any belief other than your own into heresy. You can grind, turn and twist any truth until it is so pulverized that you are able to remake Truth into your own image and the image of your fellow discernmentalists.
Ken Silva gives Ingrid and SOL’s brand spanking new Pocket-Sized Truth Grinder Magnum his personal seal of approval. Here are a few examples of the Pocket-Sized Truth Grinder Magnum in all of it’s Truth-grinding glory from some of our test runs:
Tony Campolo has said: “I have already made the point that we need to have to win people to Jesus Christ, but we must also preach the whole Gospel which not only calls people to love Jesus but to bring His justice into the political and economic arena in which we live.” Clearly that makes him a Communist/Socialist.
Rob Bell attended an event with the Dalai Lama—clearly Rob Bell doesn’t think Jesus is God.
Brian McLaren has said: “The church latched on to that old doctrine of original sin like a dog to a stick, and before you knew it, the whole gospel got twisted around it. Instead of being God’s big message of saving love for the whole world, the gospel became a little bit of secret information on how to solve the pesky legal problem of original sin.” Clearly he is not only a Gnostic but also a Pelagian/Semi-Pelagian.
We wish to weed out all the sinful reprobates and false converts from the Church—however, we are not Donatists/Semi-Donatists—just to make that clear, etc…
Tags:Heresy Exposed, Ken Silva approved!, Ken Silva Related, Newsworthy, Truth War, Ways of the Master Religion Discernmentalism, wrath
Posted in Absolute Biblical Truth, Absolute Truth, Absolute Truth War, American Gospel, And they will know that we are True Christians by our Pure Doctrines!, apprising, argumentative, Bible-Based Slander, Calvinazis, CCFP Collectibles, cheese, Choices, clarity, coercion of faith, commercials, coolness, covert, crossed-talk blog, Defemation, Deformata, Deformed, Discernmentalism, Discernmentalist values: fear and loathing, Discernmentalists, Dividing the Sheep and goats!, Divisional Ecumenism, Divisionism, Do The Hustle!, Extreme Theology, False Vs. True Converts, Gnostic, god of wAr, GOIP Ideas, GOIP Propaganda, Hoofendorfer's Law Of Discernmentalism, hubris!, hypocrisy, hypocrites, I'm saved and you're not, I*segesis, Ingrid Schlueter, Jerks For Jesus, Johnny Mac---"that old lie of liberalism", Jonny Mac---"that old line of liebralism", Judgementalism, judgmental, Left Behind, lying for Jesus, lying for the Truth's sake, No Grace for You!, OD Mafia endorsed, Onward Christo-Fascist Soldiers, Pelagian, Reformed Rating Scale, Religious Police, Say no to Religious Liberty., Self-righteous, Semi-Donatism, setting the standard, sinners, Slice of Laodicea, Slice/Cross-Talk, so get over it, socialist false gospel, Socialists, SOL, spying for Jesus, spying for the Truth, Take A Stand, True Bible-Believing Christians, True Republicans, Truthslayer and Don Jobson Approved!, Uncategorized, we’re stronger than you because we’re Truly on God’s side. | 3 Comments »
June 8, 2010

I couldn’t believe my eyes today as our valiant Research Robot Monkeys were combing the net of our favorite Discernmentalists’ websites and blogs—when they suddenly noticed the absence of the presence of one of our very favorite Mighty Truth Warrior blogs (under our own Affectionate Uncle Pastor-Teacher’s personal site, of course)—which had mysteriously and completely vanished into thin air…Poof…gone but not forgotten. Quite frankly we were quite shocked and saddened to see that Ingrid Schlueter (who partners with the Great Pastor-Teacher himself on Christian Researchmentalist Network sometimes) and her Mighty Slice of Laodicea had been raptured off the Internet.
In a private conference with my fellow Discernmentalists, Dr. Truthslayer quipped: “It has to be another evil Emergent plot at work.” I however fear for the very worse. I fear that Obama has finally taken control of the Internet in order to shut down any sites that are fighting against for the Truth. I mean why else would a blog that is so dedicated to lies and slander Truth disappear and vanish completely without a trace like that? We here and of the OD Mafia promise to stand firm in our convictions for protecting the Truth against Obamanation and E-mergent-ness. If Obama or an Emergent or any of our other enemies try to rapture up our Truth Warrior blogs, they’ll have to pry them from our cold dead hands first and even then we won’t let them.
Fellow Discernmentalists and Truth Warriors against for Truth, let us now take a moment of silence to remember with fondness the good ole days—back when Ingrid sliced up the Truth fought for the Truth on Slice of Laodicea before it succumbed to a genuine case of Internet rapture. Here to help us pay our respects and tribute to Ingrid’s SOL is a commemorative memorial photo of the former Great Slice of Laodicea as it was in all of it’s Truth-Warrior missive glory before it’s tragic end of being raptured from the net:

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Farewell Mighty Slice of Laodicea, we will miss you (and all the lies and slanders that you spread against fellow Christian Brothers and Sisters over the years of your short Internet lifespan) so! R. I. P… You may be gone, but you’re definitely not forgotten.
P. S. We heard a rumor that before Slice got raptured off the net they were working on a new pocket-sized version of their Truth-Grinder for a test market.
Tags:antichrists, Attack, Ken Silva Related, Newsworthy, Truth War, Truthslayer, Ultra-Newsworthy!
Posted in 10 Foot Tall Black-lipped Alien UFO Anti-Christ, Absolute Biblical Truth, Absolute Proof, Absolute Truth, aliens, America Rocks, America Rules canada drools, American Gospel, canada sucks, Capitalism is Biblical!, Capitalism Only!, Christian Research Network, conspiracy theories, Conspiracy-Driven Church, CRN, crossed-talk blog, Cult of Celebrity!, Disapointment, disappointed, Disappointment, Discernmentalism, Discernmentalist values: fear and loathing, Discernmentalists, Eva, Evil Emergent Plots, Fascists, gone but not forgotten, I put some other scategories here, I*segesis, idol worship, idols of Discernmentalists, ignorance is bliss!, Illuminati Party, Ingrid Schlueter, internet, network, New World Order, New World Religious Government, NWO, Obama bin Laden, Obamanation, poof, proof, Research Robot Monkeys, Researchmentalism, Researchmentalists, Secular Humanists' New Age Agenda, Slice of Laodicea, Slice/Cross-Talk, Spiritual Terrorists, Spread the fear!, Spread the hate!, spying for Jesus, spying for the Truth, Take A Stand, The Anti-Christ, the devil, the Good Ole Days, The Rapture, Tim LaHatemongerer, Tim LaHaye, Tim LaHey Baby, tinfoiled hat theology, ufos, under attack!, vanished, vanished into thin air, Watch Blogs, We're not like them., We're Right because We're Right Wing!, womanly | 6 Comments »