Archive for the ‘Sharin' Whiplash’ Category

Obama Supporters Repent

June 2, 2010

 

Abortion is murder; murder is a sin. War and collateral damage are murder; however, war and collateral damage are not sin as they are biblical.

Anyone who voted for Obama is living in sin and should repent now—here is why:

lightshineon Re: Franklin Graham Predicts Christians Split from Obama
« Reply #1 on: May 06, 2010, 10:47:14 PM » 

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Hopefully millions of Christians did not vote for him, but, even if they did vote for him. let us hope they see the sin, and the mistake of doing so.
 
 
johnnyQ Re: Franklin Graham Predicts Christians Split from Obama
« Reply #2 on: May 07, 2010, 08:31:14 AM » 

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There’s not one bit of biblical support for saying that voting for ANYONE is a sin.  That’s seems to be taken from First LSO 13:13.  But a warning in Revelation 22:18 says it’s dangerous to add to the scriptures like you have attempted.

jq
 
lightshineon Re: Franklin Graham Predicts Christians Split from Obama
« Reply #9 on: May 07, 2010, 11:10:26 AM » 

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JQ, ever read that every thought. word, or deed, you will be held accountable for? You might try in matthew Ch 12, or 13, I have to go, so please quit your scripture threatening get you own self right, and learn to rightly divide the word of truth. If you knowingly vote for someone who kills babies, with a passion, then those babies blood is on your hands.

We certainly agree as we have  no blood on our hands  from supporting war-mongering Republican Presidents. Remember Jesus said in the Bible: “Blessed are the war-mongers for they shalt conquer the earth.”  lightshineon also wanted to add:

JQ, did you know statistacally conservatives voters, help the poor more than liberals. Did you also know in the word of God even in the NT, it talks about wars, and rumors of wars in Matthew 24, Jesus never said anything against it, In proverbs in the OT, it also tells us to love our enemies, and in Revelation it talks about wars. Now Jesus states, very strongly about hurting children. BTW, Jesus talks about us as individuals helping the poor. I see Obama taking money from the mentally challenged ad old, who are the least of these. Not some punk from the hood who, can work, but, lays up drawing welfare, killing his BFF, over a dine bag, I have seen it, JQ, more than once.

Jan Markell Caught With An Unbiblical Pet

May 5, 2010

We Know that the Bible and not Jesus is the whole point of Christianity. We also Know that to maintain Biblical integrity one must live by the Absolute infallible and inerrant standard of our interpretation of the Bible. The Bible is literal in all aspects of it’s Absolute Truth and is the direct dictation of God to us. This is why we must live wholly and solely by the Bible and not Jesus as Todd Friel (Wretched) always says which is why when our Research Robot Monkeys caught Jan Markell with a cat we were concerned.

Why is this such a big concern you may ask? Why for one thing cats are unbiblical. Yeah that’s right cats are unbiblical as cats do not appear anywhere in the Bible. Dogs however do. Secondly if God wanted us to have cats as pets, He would have commanded it in His Holy Inerrant and Infallible Word—our Absolute Divine Authority. Last but not least, cats have origins in false religions like the dark and Satanic cults of Ancient Egypt who worshipped cats. Black cats are especially ungodly and unholy:

Black cats have religious origins as well. Black cats were considered to be reincarnated beings with the ability to divine the future. During the Middle Ages it was believed that witches could turn themselves into black cats. Thus when such a cat was seen, it was considered to be a witch in disguise.

For someone who prides herself on Absolute Biblical Certainty and Absolute Biblical Correctness, you would think that Jan would own a  Biblically correct pet. Repent Jan for the End is nigh.

New Bible-Based Laxative

April 19, 2010

Finally a colon cleanser fit to relieve the bowels of God’s Holy Predestined Elect introducing PoopraCrapsarian Laxatives. Every PoopraCrapsarian tablet is made by the most natural and Biblical of ingredients based on the Levetical Dietary Laws of keeping Kosher.  All PoopraCrapsarian tablets contain the Absolute Decrees of God so remember PoopraCrapsarian Laxatives for all your colon cleansing needs—good only for the fatallistically predetermined voiding of bowels.

Warning PoopraCrapsarian Laxatives are only good enough for the Truly Predestined Elect of God—the True Converts. Side effects may include but are not limited to: bloating, upset stomach, diaherrea, arrogance, extreme Capitalism, anti-Catholic bigotry, a feeling of religious supremacy over those who disagree with you, elitism, aversion to religious objects, the need to burn heretics at the stake, love of war and torture, condescension and other  side effects. False Converts, unregenerate reprobates and heathens need not apply as they have already been  fatallistically predetermined by God to suffer the wrath of eternal bowel discomfort from the foundation of the world.

Finally A True Bible-Believing God-honoring Email Domain Address That God Is Proud Of

March 31, 2010

                 

A thank you from New World Order Weekend

What can a @Reagan.com Email address do for you? you may ask:

Why Your email address with Reagan.com will send a clear message to the recipient: You are a True Bible-Believing, God-honoring,  Regenerated Elect, Frozen And Chozen Reagan Conservative and Fundamentalist Christian, period.

Each @Reagan.com address is built on the ideal that each person should pay for and leave God to control his or her hate speech communications via the latest Holy Spirit chip technology built by GOIP Labs and featured in the new iTruth made  by the the ODMafia Research and Discernmentalist Labs for truth warriors by truth warriors.  At the same time it should allow you the freedom through American Gospel and Bible-based techniques to check your email and calendar at anytime and from any place in the world under American sovereign imperial control where there is an internet connection using a computer or your smart phone. Your @Reagan.com address will even work in all 52 states of America including the newly annexed States of RonaldReaganistan and Rumsfeld’s Democratic American Republican State of Bushraqistan also your @Reagan.com address will work in America’s future Provinces including Illegal Immigrant Cheap Labor And Tacos’ Land Of Profitable Beach Resorts For Rich White American Tourists, Canuckistan: Northern Province Of Eh!, Urup: Our Ancestors’ Land aka The Old Country and the  separate Territories of We Kicked Ur Butt Twice Island, Whiny White-Flagged Pushovers: Land Of Easy-Surrenders and United Popeland

Our Holy Spirit chip techonology features a State of the art email and calendar system for true conservatives and those who are Truly Elected to Salvation @reagan.com. What are some of the other features of the @Reagan.com Email address—why it is:

Simple
And by simple we mean complex. Plus you Only get what  we think you need when we think you need it.

Efficient
Advanced synchronization for:  Blackberry, iPhone, iTruth, and many other GOIP Windows Mobile devices. Advanced Outlook synchronization and collaboration.

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Check your email over an encrypted connection. We have built in tracking technology as well.

Offers Less Spam
Our advanced spam filter delivers comprehensive protection from spam and phishing messages. We are also able to censor 10% more Emergent, Liberal and anti-Calvinist Arminian messages than other email providers.

Conservative
Yes “not free”…because free stuff equals Marxism, Communism and Socialism.

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Plus as a free bonus gift to you we offer you free
Weekly updates from Michael Reagan and other Reagan Conservatives if God specially chooses you to be worthy enough to receive them.

Own your @Reagan.com Email address for the easy payment of Only $34.95/yr plus other funds we decide to steal from the poor. An @Reagan.com Email address is  the righteous and Godly way to spend your money. Don’t waste your hard earned money on unregenerate non-Elect reprobated poor lazy bums and slobs like those Red-Letter Christians do as the poor were created to be poor and destroyed from the foundation of the world. Create your personal @Reagan.com email today using the form that we will provide you with in order to make sure of your Secured Elected Salvation and that you are Truly of the Inerrant Right who are always right.

Roger Williams Attacks Discernmentalists From The Grave

March 14, 2010

 

Our Research Robot Monkeys have been reading Deformed Reader lately—which led them to come up with the conclusion that  Roger Williams was an apostate. Deformed Reader states of Williams’ Anti-Discernmentalist character

The arrival and expansion of (Ana)Baptists in North America

The famous American-Swiss church historian Rev. Prof. Dr. Philip Schaff has informed us427 that “in America the Baptists trace their origin chiefly…to Roger Williams…. He was charged with advocating certain opinions supposed to be dangerous.”

These included the viewpoints: “that the magistrate ought not to punish offences against the First Table [of God’s Law]; that an oath ought not to be tendered to an unregenerate man; [and] that a regenerate man ought not to pray with the unregenerate, though it be his wife or child….

“He [Roger Williams] was immersed by Ezekiel Hollyman [during 1639] — and, in turn, immersed Hollyman and ten others. This was the first Baptist church on the American Continent. But a few months afterwards, he renounced his rebaptism — on the ground that Hollyman was unbaptized [meaning unsubmersed], and therefore unauthorized to administer the rite to him.”

Clearly, it never dawned on Roger Williams that nobody had baptized John the baptizer. Yet it was John (and apparently by pouring or sprinkling) who baptized Jesus Christ. And it is the Latter’s baptism alone which gives validity to all Christian baptisms.

Incredibly, the apostate Roger Williams pleaded428 even for the complete toleration of Islam, Judaism and Paganism. He read Dutch well; knew of the political concepts of the Dutch Anabaptists; and accordingly rejected the British and American Puritans and their Christonomic Theocracy.429 Unfortunately, the Dutch (Ana)Baptistic heresies of Roger Williams have now massively corrupted especially the United States.

Dr. Arthur McJohn and I want you to know just how hideously apostate Roger Williams was—just listen to these Anti-Discernmentalist quotes:

It is the will and command of God that…a permission of the most Paganish, Jewish, Turkish or anti-christian consciences and worships be granted to all men in all nations and countries.”

Enforced uniformity confounds civil and religious liberty and denies the principles of Christianity and civility. No man shall be required to worship or maintain a worship against his will.”

That cannot be a true religion which needs carnal weapons to uphold it.”God requireth not a uniformity of religion.”

God requireth not a uniformity of religion to be enacted in any civil state; which enforced uniformity (sooner or later) is the greatest occasion of civil war, ravishing of conscience, persecution of Christ Jesus in his servants, and of the hypocrisy and destruction of millions of souls.”

How dare he speak of Religious Liberty for anyone but those who bow down to our Pure Doctrines! Clearly Roger Williams is attacking us from the grave as his ideas are attacking our vision for a Theocratic AmericaClearly “liberty of conscience” and “tolerance” are liberal code words for “get along and love one another.”  Our Final Prophet teaches this fact that only we Discernmentalists  deserve True Religious Liberty:

“A new heresy has been discovered,” he said. “We must stamp out this burst of hell-fire before it spreads over the surface of the earth…. Freedom of conscience is a doctrine of the devil…. Better to have a tyrant, however cruel, than permit everyone to do what he pleases.”

If that alone isn’t evidence enough that Roger Williams was clearly a heretical apostate then consider this: an apple tree root in the shape of  a Serpent ate his corpse. Coincidence—we think not!

  

Capitalism Could’ve Saved Haiti

February 27, 2010

We Know  that Capitalism could’ve saved Haiti from God-ordained destruction as Capitalism is BiblicalJoel McDurmon writes:

Socialism and the corruption that attends welfare-Statism in Haiti have consistently rejected free markets and the prosperity that come with them for decades. Walter Williams documents Haiti’s combination of 1) lack of economic freedom, 2) rampant corruption, 3) catastrophic crime, and 4) denigration of private property rights. He notes, “Haitian President Rene Preval is not enthusiastic about free markets; his heroes are none other than the hemisphere’s two brutal communist tyrants: Venezuela’s Hugo Chavez and Cuba’s Fidel Castro.”

 

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Chavez and Castro? Perhaps Pat Robertson was not so far off. Haiti has indeed made a pact with the devil—incarnate in the political style of Chavez and Castro.

Clearly this is why Haiti had to be destroyed by God’s Wrath. We Know so.

All Theological Roads Lead Back To Rome?

February 21, 2010

Sharin’ Whiplash aka Non-Electgal in an UnReformed and Deformed moment stated:

Anabaptists, Reformed/Presbyterians, Lutherans, and Anglicans are 4 separate branches with separate traditions. All four branches are Reformed from Roman Catholicism in the broad sense of the term.

Clearly she might be one of the unregenerate reprobates decieved into believing that she is Truly Elect or Secured in her Reprobation for as we know Calvinism has  nothing to do with “Roman Arminianism or Roman Catholicism that man-exalting heresy!” And we don’t exalt man especially not Calvin—We Know! Why—because We told ya so! Or maybe Sharin’ has contracted the same Postmodern and Emergence virus that Ken Silva has contracted?

Ken Silva Contracts A Rare Emergent Virus

February 21, 2010

Yesterday Ken Silva contracted the rare hideous and disfiguring Emergent virus: Calvini sincerus doxolatroum vitare. This caused him to attack God’s Absolute Sovereignty and utter such an unReformed statement as this:

WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR UNLEASHING THE EMERGING CHURCH VIRUS EMBED CODE?

We Know who is responsible and the Pure Reformed answer is:

God from all eternity, did, by the most wise and holy counsel of His own will, freely, and unchangeably ordain whatsoever comes to pass yet so, as thereby neither is God the author of sin, nor is violence offered to the will of the creatures; nor is the liberty or contingency of second causes taken away, but rather established.
Westminster Larger Catechism Q3

That means that God is responsible and the One who caused from the Foundation of the World the UNLEASHING of  THE EMERGING CHURCH VIRUS which Ken Silva contracted. We all are now praying for Ken Silva to be healed and get well from such a dark and reprobated illness so that he can return to his ole Deformed Purely Reformed, Emergent-bashing and Discernmentalist self.