Archive for the ‘Secret Order of the ODM’ Category

Let Us Bring You The Good News Of God’s Wrath For Only The Low Cost Of $89-$109!

June 12, 2010

In a day and age when people are unsure or unclear about God’s wrath, we desire to clarify several of the misconceptions concerning hell, God’s anger, and His coming judgment. We promise  to bring you the uncompromising message of the Good News that God will pour down His Holy Wrath and Anger on all sinners except for a select few lucky people of which we are among those few. We will bring this message to you for only the small fee of:

Early Bird Rate: $89 (April 9 – June 9, 2010)
Regular Rate: $99 (June 10 – July 16, 2010)
At the Door Rate: $109 (July 17 – August 4, 2010)

Act now and recieve our message for a fraction of the cost:

We are offering a 10% discount for Pastors, missionaries, students, and military personnel. In order to receive this discount, please put the word “PASTOR” (all capital letters) in the promotion coupon section of the check-out process on the Evangelism Team website.

We are also offering a group discount of 10% for groups of 5 or more people. If you are registering a group, please put the word “PASTOR” in the promotion coupon section of the check-out process on the Evangelism Team website.

Please note that no meals will be provided at the event. Attendees are encouraged to eat at area restaurants.

If you have any questions, please contact us.

email: info@john1016conference.com
phone: (888) 370 – 1368

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Chris Rosebrough And Pirate Radio’s #1 Fan

June 11, 2010

                 

(Hitler listening to a Podcast of his favorite online radio station: Chris Rosebrough’s Pirate Christian Radio).

Many people today have a woefully limited understanding of the philosophical and political ideas that gave rise to Hitler. Most give little or no thought to the subject. It’s as if Hitler fell out of the sky or was a fluke of nature. Many simply dismiss the subject and think that Hitler was “just a madman” who hated Jews and thought the Aryan race was superior to every other race on the planet and he was tragically in a position that allowed him to act on those beliefs. But, few understand or remember that Hitler was a Fascist and that in the 1930’s, prior to World War II and the establishment of the concentration camps, the word “Fascism” had a definition and a meaning. Rather than being a fluke, Hitler was instead a true product of his time and his political ideas were the direct result of the philosophical, political, religious and economic ideas of the Völkish period.[2]

Recently it has been brought to our attention that several of our top GOIP Scientists have created another Time Machine in the vein of Eric Barger’s Re-Tardis and traveled back in time to Nazi Germany in order to bring back Hitler to our time. Once here in the present they convinced Hitler to listen to Chris Rosebrough’s Pirate Christian Radio which he promptly fell in love with so much so that Hitler proclaimed: ” Chris Rosebrough’s Pirate Christian Radio ist mein number ein favorite internet radioh stations.” Hitler recognized that Chris Rosebrough used some of the same tactics that he had used in his assault on Reason itself and his “Truth War” against Thinking Christians and his other enemies.

Hitler and  Chris Rosebrough swapped many tactics and drew up this list for all faithful Truth Warrior students of John MacArthur’s Truth Wars™ to study and learn to implement:

  1. Propaganda. Propaganda means everything—the more slanderous the propaganda the better.
  2. Label others often. After-all We need to make sure our enemies know their proper place. For example liberal is a particularly effective term to use against those who do not bow down before our Pure Doctrines.
  3. Hypocrisy. Hypocrisy covers a multitude of sins.
  4. If people don’t agree with you they are either: “a) too dumb to understand the Truth (but will probably comment on your self-righteous postings anyway); or b) would undergo a brain strain leading to a cerebral explosion of epic proportions — and you just can’t open yourself up to that liability.”
  5. Historical Revisionism. Revise history to suit your  agenda and presuppositions.
  6. Enforce  your beliefs on everyone for:  “Fascism also admits that myth is the proper tool to control the masses, and clear thinking and access to information is reserved for those in control. The single-party system of rule was designed to enforce the common myth through all levels of society and to suppress individualism in favor of the state’s goals.”
  7. True Christian Politics are Right-Wing politics. “Most people just can’t make the connection between post-modern/emergent theology and how they are inseparable from what is taking place politically.” Nevermind the fact that the Religious Right and their theology are also inseparable from the political scene.
  8. And some other secret tactics. But if we told you those we would probably have to kill you.

After only a day or so Hitler left to go back home to his own time and space but not without an iPod personalized by Chris Rosebrough himself complete with a lifetime supply of podcasts of his favorite online radio programing Pirate Christian Radio.

Ken Silva Finally Reveals His True Form

June 1, 2010

(Secondhand Internet Discernmentalist News)—  After years of keeping his true identity hidden the highly elusive and private recluseKen Silva, our affectionate Uncle in Online Discernmentalism has finally decided to publically bless his adoring fans by coming out of hiding from his secret underground Discernmentalist bunker in a closet at our ranch. Ken has planned a Discernmentalist Tour at various public places–further details are unknown as of now, but of what we do know: we know  that he may come to a mall near you along with your favorite Discernmentalists. The tour will include a discernmentalizing session of all the sinful and apostate public. The sessions will be free of charge but donations are welcome.

Secondhand Internet Discernmentalist News has obtained this exclusive photo above of the rare moment of Ken emerging from hiding. The photo was snapped only yesterday by the “ODM” paparazzi league. The photo has been verified by Ken Silva himself that it  actually is of the enigmatic Ken Silva of Apprising Ministries. The anonymous photographer said: “This very rare photo was taken as ODMs hurriedly came emerging from their latest powwow somewhere in an underground bunker by brackish lagoons deep within the backwater forests of some secluded hills.”

Sources close to Ken have heard that he has stated on record that he has been planning his first public appearance for years, but wanted to make sure the public would take him seriously enough first. Hopefully more public appearances will follow suit.