Archive for the ‘Sci-Fi’ Category

Trump considers Sicking Lobstermen from Mars on Deep State

December 11, 2019

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Shelldrake Clorzo  pledges to pinch the Deep State with his pincers

QAnon reports on American Thinker:

Will December be the month the pincers close in on the Deep State?  Some promising storm clouds are building.  Justice Department inspector general Michael Horowitz will appear before Senator Lindsey Graham’s Judiciary Committee on December 11, with the long promised I.G. report on FISA abuse to be released December 9.The report is already being downplayed by the media, with the New York Times warning, “DOJ watchdog report expected to clear Comey, McCabe, and Strzok of bias in Trump-Russia probe.”  Okey-dokey, case closed.  The storm will be only a light breeze — at least according to their “unnamed sources” and “officials familiar with the report.” Read more: https://www.americanthinker.com/articles/2019/11/are_the_pincers_closing_on_the_deep_state.html#ixzz66pc3EPCC

It was also reported from an anonymous transmission from outer space that a UFO was spotted a few light-years from Earth. The Trump Administration has said to have made contact with the ship piloted by one Shelldrake Clorzo (a lobsterman from Mars). Shelldrake has been desperately searching for a way to avoid problems with the IRS of Mars and the unpaid millions he owes them in back taxes. He has asked Trump for help—in return and armed with a foolproof plan he pledges to sick his pincers on the Deep State to repay Trump.

Truth-Busters!

November 27, 2019

“When there’s a truth to be busted… who you gonna call?”

Introducing our newest film of Discernmentalized proportions Truth-Busters from GOIP Productions starring the Online Discernmentalist Mafia’s very own Truthslayer and our recent ODMU graduate

It’s gonna be tough measuring the “size of the problem” when there are thought-criminals like me who recognize that “hate crime” is nothing more than naked thought-policing. It is 100% politically motivated; it’s meant to silence dissent; and, while it has largely been successful, it has exposed the escalating Bolshevization of the Left, through both corrupted formerly credible organizations like SPLC, ADL and ACLU (all of which are now just as hysterical and partisan as the laughable John Birch Society) and hyperpartisan propaganda outlets, like Religion News Service. Meanwhile, with rightwing extremism kept in check by “watchdogs” like the aforementioned, leftwing exremism is, by comparison, allowed to flourish, so that it manifests itself all the way up to the tippy-top, with unchecked radicals in Congress proposing ridiculously out-of-touch policy positions not in alignment with more than a fraction of the country. And if these zealots on the left won’t even listen to their popular predecessor Barack Obama, why should they listen to all the other indicators that tell them they’re the ones losing their minds? Instead they cling to willful fictions like “mah hate speech”!

Oh, and Heather Heyer was looking for a fight. She got one. Her aggressor deserves to go to prison for his awful behavior, but Team Heather was just as bellicose and ideologically possessed. They are not good people. Both sides.

Truthslayer rallies the pack using his newly invented Most Obvious Right-wing Oxydizing Necrons (MORON)-Packs to put down the ghost of Shane Claiborne’s lost dog Stoner and Whiner. Later (in a cameo) El Sandi joins the team as the Truth-Busters‘ secretary. El Sandi answers a call about a perceived hate-crime (which turns out to be a prank from an escaped Whiner): “”and I know how devastating it can be to feel like you don’t even have the dignity of being a hate crime statistic.” If that is one’s focus after what they consider a hate crime, perhaps they overreacted? If you want to get beyond the “epidemic of hate” then quit looking for it. You taught your daughter to disrespect people in authority doing their jobs, don’t teach her to look for problems where there may be none, except in your insecurities. Hate is in the eye of the beholder – it is relative…good day Whiner.”

In the climax of the film the Stay Put Know-Your-Place Man a golem of the Status Quo accused of being an Antifa phantom begins to terrorize the Truth-Busters leading Lauren to exclaim: “Yes, I draw the same conclusion about the eminent threat of left-wing terrorism (or alt-left-adjacent attacks) every time there’s a new clip on YouTube of “the knockout game”. It’s really the best way to navigate through life.” In the end the Truth-Busters take down Stay Put and contain the Emergent Red-Letter Christian hordes in their Emergent Red-Letter Christian Organizers (ERCO) Containment Unit causing an environmental disaster on a Biblical scale. The end?

 

SBC under siege by Mothra Priestesses!

May 18, 2019

 

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Actual photo of this assault by Mothra and her Priests/Priestesses!

Not a day goes by when our Truth is not under attack—this time we’re under siege by Mothra. [H/T]: The moth-eaten SBC and the women who did it. “But I am like a moth to Ephraim, and like dry rot to the house of Judah.” (Hosea 5:12).

Oh the unholy horror of this affront on our Truth—I only pray that Mrs.  Jobson doesn’t catch wind of these secret feminist doctrines or she might rebel against my divinely mandated authority again. I’ve forced Mrs. Jobson to wear a necklace made out of mothballs just in case—sure it smells funny but I told her: “listen woman this is for your own good and it helps protect the purity of our Truth.” Anyways here’s how to spot these secret feminist Mothra priestesses:

They are feminists—don’t let them tell you otherwise. Also we hear they’re not too fond of the smell of mothballs but are attracted to altar flowers. (See this link for proof).

This is the new crop of what I called Christian secret feminists- but they aren’t as secret as they were in 2012. They live a feminist life inside of Christianity but call it ministry. They are openly rebelling now.

One woman who has much to answer for about this new role is Beth Moore. She was the one who broke new ground in the Southern Baptist Convention, a most conservative denomination, in how far a woman could go in attaining celebrity status, living for her career and not for her home, and promoting gender role reversals.

She showed us how to be the main and sustained breadwinner of the family. She showed us that she could preach in a church and teach anyone in the world, uncensured. Mrs Moore, while speaking conservative values cloaked in all the right Christianese, has lived a very feminist life. (We suspect this is because of their super secret psychic cloaking powers).

We only know this because of using our Secret Cloaking Reversal Technology or SKIRT—also they are most likely to predict an oncoming Mothra attack as per our findings. We also have reason to suspect these feminist Mothra priestesses of secret Catholic leanings:

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Absolute Proof. We discovered this too while using our Bible-based SKIRT (Secret Cloaking Reversal Technology).

So be warned and beware—thankfully you have lone Discernmentalists in the wilderness like us to warn you of all these threats on our Truth. At this very moment we’re working on Mothra-sized mothballs—to surround our Holy Convention and churches—and prevent these feminist Mothra priestesses unleashing even more Mothra attacks on our churches and Truth.

Phil Johnson And Hugh Jass Film Productions Present…

August 5, 2010

Not to be outdone by Discovery Channel’s Shark  Week’s ratings grabs, Phil Johnson and Hugh Jass Film Productions cash-in with the newest Summer Blockbuster Discernmentalist hit: Attack OF The SEMI-PELAGIANS starring the United Methodist Church. The creatures known as Semi-Pelagians are semi-aquatic animals that are half Augustinian and half Pelagian and are mostly found in Arminian churches most notably the United Methodist Church. The Semi-Pelagians soon begin revolting and attacking the semi-Donatist faith of Discernmentalism prompting our hero Phil Johnson aka Pastor Hugh Jass and his loyal crew to discernmentalize them. Attack OF The SEMI-PELAGIANS: coming soon to a Discernmentalist TV station near you!