Archive for the ‘“New Agers”’ Category

Trump considers Sicking Lobstermen from Mars on Deep State

December 11, 2019

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Shelldrake Clorzo  pledges to pinch the Deep State with his pincers

QAnon reports on American Thinker:

Will December be the month the pincers close in on the Deep State?  Some promising storm clouds are building.  Justice Department inspector general Michael Horowitz will appear before Senator Lindsey Graham’s Judiciary Committee on December 11, with the long promised I.G. report on FISA abuse to be released December 9.The report is already being downplayed by the media, with the New York Times warning, “DOJ watchdog report expected to clear Comey, McCabe, and Strzok of bias in Trump-Russia probe.”  Okey-dokey, case closed.  The storm will be only a light breeze — at least according to their “unnamed sources” and “officials familiar with the report.” Read more: https://www.americanthinker.com/articles/2019/11/are_the_pincers_closing_on_the_deep_state.html#ixzz66pc3EPCC

It was also reported from an anonymous transmission from outer space that a UFO was spotted a few light-years from Earth. The Trump Administration has said to have made contact with the ship piloted by one Shelldrake Clorzo (a lobsterman from Mars). Shelldrake has been desperately searching for a way to avoid problems with the IRS of Mars and the unpaid millions he owes them in back taxes. He has asked Trump for help—in return and armed with a foolproof plan he pledges to sick his pincers on the Deep State to repay Trump.

Truth-Busters!

November 27, 2019

“When there’s a truth to be busted… who you gonna call?”

Introducing our newest film of Discernmentalized proportions Truth-Busters from GOIP Productions starring the Online Discernmentalist Mafia’s very own Truthslayer and our recent ODMU graduate

It’s gonna be tough measuring the “size of the problem” when there are thought-criminals like me who recognize that “hate crime” is nothing more than naked thought-policing. It is 100% politically motivated; it’s meant to silence dissent; and, while it has largely been successful, it has exposed the escalating Bolshevization of the Left, through both corrupted formerly credible organizations like SPLC, ADL and ACLU (all of which are now just as hysterical and partisan as the laughable John Birch Society) and hyperpartisan propaganda outlets, like Religion News Service. Meanwhile, with rightwing extremism kept in check by “watchdogs” like the aforementioned, leftwing exremism is, by comparison, allowed to flourish, so that it manifests itself all the way up to the tippy-top, with unchecked radicals in Congress proposing ridiculously out-of-touch policy positions not in alignment with more than a fraction of the country. And if these zealots on the left won’t even listen to their popular predecessor Barack Obama, why should they listen to all the other indicators that tell them they’re the ones losing their minds? Instead they cling to willful fictions like “mah hate speech”!

Oh, and Heather Heyer was looking for a fight. She got one. Her aggressor deserves to go to prison for his awful behavior, but Team Heather was just as bellicose and ideologically possessed. They are not good people. Both sides.

Truthslayer rallies the pack using his newly invented Most Obvious Right-wing Oxydizing Necrons (MORON)-Packs to put down the ghost of Shane Claiborne’s lost dog Stoner and Whiner. Later (in a cameo) El Sandi joins the team as the Truth-Busters‘ secretary. El Sandi answers a call about a perceived hate-crime (which turns out to be a prank from an escaped Whiner): “”and I know how devastating it can be to feel like you don’t even have the dignity of being a hate crime statistic.” If that is one’s focus after what they consider a hate crime, perhaps they overreacted? If you want to get beyond the “epidemic of hate” then quit looking for it. You taught your daughter to disrespect people in authority doing their jobs, don’t teach her to look for problems where there may be none, except in your insecurities. Hate is in the eye of the beholder – it is relative…good day Whiner.”

In the climax of the film the Stay Put Know-Your-Place Man a golem of the Status Quo accused of being an Antifa phantom begins to terrorize the Truth-Busters leading Lauren to exclaim: “Yes, I draw the same conclusion about the eminent threat of left-wing terrorism (or alt-left-adjacent attacks) every time there’s a new clip on YouTube of “the knockout game”. It’s really the best way to navigate through life.” In the end the Truth-Busters take down Stay Put and contain the Emergent Red-Letter Christian hordes in their Emergent Red-Letter Christian Organizers (ERCO) Containment Unit causing an environmental disaster on a Biblical scale. The end?

 

Breaking: Antifa Bear killed Epstein… linked to Russia!!!

November 25, 2019

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Antifa backed Russian Bear now blamed for Jeffery Epstein’s “supicious” death as noted by a top Discernmentalist from Conspiracy News Network (a subsidiary of BS.Com a subsidiary of InfoWars):

Dave Noelle I watched MSNBC today. They bashed white men, claiming they were the root of all of the world’s problems. They used Hitleresque language towards conservatives, dehumanizing them and encouraging violence by defending the ANTIFA terrorists. I’m shocked (not really), that a major network would claim anyone right of Marx is a Nazi. (Nazis are social justice warriors) They painted anyone with a different opinion as a racist, homophobic, xenophobic, sexist, blah blah blah blah blah – because they have no argument so that is all they can do. They even continue to push the thoroughly debunked Russiagate conspiracy theory! Lmao. (Anyone Left of Reagan is a Commie)

They have already started a civil war. The Antifa bears they really have and really do hate America. They hate democracy and are co conspirators in trying to destroy it. They have declared war on democracy, war on freedom, war on the individual, war on the constitution… (Separation of church and state is a myth—up with theocracy) They just want equity, and facts do not matter as their means are always justified by their imaginary theoretical utopian ending if, in their mind, everyone was forced to be ideological clones of them! (Support our Troops-)

yup, exactly the same as all leftist MSM does too. That’s the problem with politics. (We hate all politics but ours)

Or do you not remember 2.5 years of ridiculous conspiracy theories about Russian Collusion? How short your memory is. (Russia colluded with Antifa and lured bears to Epstein’s jail gate with pizza)

Wade Duroe wait, you must have missed 2.5 years of daily Russiagate Conspiracy Theory nonsense!? Omg. Have you even turned on the TV since Trump ran for president? The insane hyperbolic fake news has ramped up to unprecedented levels. (Obama is the antichrist) Not just Trump, but anything related to Trump by the nth degree. Kavanaugh Witch Trials 1.0 and 2.0. Jussie Smollett. The Covington Boys!!! (I read this in Hillary’s emails that this was prearranged secretly by some guy see)

You clearly haven’t seen the latest PV leaks that came out about CNN and ABC!? Cold hard video evidence, hot mics and screen shots that are VERIFIED as legit. CNNs Jeff Zucker was caught demanding fake news be pushed to smear Trump and shutting down stories that don’t fit their narrative. (Libturdz r dumbz) He full on is caught saying the news doesn’t matter, it’s about an agenda. And unless you’ve lived under a rock you should have heard about ABC spiking the Epstein story 3 years ago, protecting the most prolific child sexual predator in American history because it would have made Hillary look bad and they might lose interviews with Will and Kate!!! Unbelievable. (Epstein didn’t kill himself with pizza—his gate was clawed open—therefore the Antifa bears linked to Russia must have done it)

Spread the Conspiracy!

Don Jobson and Truthslayer

Boycott Paul McCartney!

November 13, 2019

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We’re under attack—this time by Paul McCartney:

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at 6-14-2010

McCartney is a pathetic aging liberal fraud. He made his millions on American dollars both in record sales and concerts. He takes everything American capitalism can offer but supports every liberal cause and politician while insulting our former great president Bush. If Obama had a shred of class, which he desperately lacks, he would have disavowed McCartney’s asinine comment. (Source: a raptured URL)

Boycott Paul McCartney for being too liberal against our doctrines. Boycott Macca for supporting capitalism but insulting W and therefore hurted our feelings. Thankfully none of our own support capitalism but insulted W:

Two important news stories broke this week that reveal that President Obama is building a worldview propaganda machine. This should be offensive to all Americans in both parties for many reasons that I will explain. However, I believe that it will not be offensive to enough Americans to make a difference because our nation’s citizens have largely lost the ability to use reason, logic, and context. To those who think I am only writing this article because Obama is a democrat, you are wrong. I was one of the first conservative talk show hosts to refer to George W. Bush as a socialist and a globalist. Both parties are destroying our country. (Source: Boycott Obama’s Worldview Propaganda Machine By Brannon Howse)

The Bush presidency is the largest disappointment in the history of the modern conservative movement. The Bush presidency was supposed to be the culmination of all the hard work conservatives had done. In 1994 the “Republican Revolution” in Congress and then the control of the executive branch by Bush gave this country the possibility of returning from big government liberal garbage to the sanity of the Constitution. Well we all know what happened. The “Republican revolution” was nothing more than an increase in the same old liberal big government garbage. They sold us out!

I had my feelings about President George W. Bush when he ran for his first term. I had uneasy feelings about his so called “compassionate conservatism”. It reminded me of his father’s slap in the face of the great Ronald Regan. After Regan served his second term, George Bush senior said we needed a “kinder and gentler nation”. That was a direct insinuation that somehow Regan was not kind or gentle. It was the uneasy feelings that I had about President George W. Bush that caused me not to vote for him. I voted third party instead. When it came time to choose between Bush and Kerry in the last presidential election, I voted for Bush (while holding my nose) since I knew there was a good possibility that the Supreme Court would open a few seats. I hoped that Bush would appoint good justices and it seems he did. I will give him credit for that at least.

Here is the problem; one can point to any president and come up with something that they did that was good (well almost any president). The real question is did that president move us closer or further away from the Constitution. Bush has been a disaster concerning the question. He along with the “Republican Revolution” congress moved us to bigger and bigger government with higher spending and the huge new prescription drug entitlement program, and centralizing education. Pork barrel spending and insane amounts of money spent in foreign aid in countries with corrupt governments. Bush tried to fight the Iraq war with political correctness instead of fighting the war as if it is a war. (Source: It’s Official – President Bush Has Lost His Mind!)

This is a warning to you Obama and Paul McCartney we’re boycotting you and we hope you feel hurted by it as you count your millions and laugh in our faces.

Special Alert: Mothra Assaulting our Truth through TV ADs Now…

October 20, 2019

Once again we are under attack by Mothra and her feminist army—this time through commercials on TV:
No, commercials are teaching little children that feminism is good. Men have no value – except for what the superior” little woman dictates, if a man is allowed in the commercial at all. They are trying to shape children through commercials. I’m waiting for the first transsexual one. Commercials also sell immorality to children and parents without discernment. The head of the man is Christ. The head of the woman is man – answers it all right there. Absolutely  – when one caters to the culture, it makes a mockery of what Christ taught and leads to indecision on the truthfulness of Christ. One example of that being women preachers.  If Christ wanted women teaching, he would have created them to be men.

We are now placing extra strength Mothballs* around TV towers in an effort to combat this hideous assault on our Truth!

P.S. We hope that Beth Moore‘s husband will buy some of our mothballs for Mrs. Moore as Mrs. Moore’s place is at home barefoot in the kitchen and pregnant not reading the Good News of God’s Wrath from the Bible out loud and usurping man’s divine authority:

*- MOTHBALLs or (Modernism’s Old Theologies of Hate Bringing About Legalism on  Ladies): (noun)- the only known protection against Mothra and feminist attacks on Discernmentalist Truth. Also useful in warding off Bibliophiles. Mrs. Jobson now swears (not in an unbiblical swearing way) by it. [Update: We’ve discovered new usages for this term]:

  1. Against Bibliophiles: Moralists Operating Theological arguments against Heretics and Bibliophile Atheists/Liberal Librarians. See BIBLIOPHILES.
  2. (Feminist and Atheist Insult Version): “The scare tactics of the right wing have been taken out of mothballs.” (Source: Liberal Article on Feminism).
  3. MOTHBALLs and MOTHBALL technology– the latest in Discernentalist woo and quackery. The newest craze in Discernmentalist households—sweeping the Discernmentalist world by storm since these secret Mothra feminist attacks have started on our churches. Discernmentalists  are researchmentaizing further applications in MOTHBALL sciences and technology.
  4. MOTHBALLING/MOTHBALLED (verb form)- discernmentalists love to mothball our enemies with mothball arguments aka our favorite Discernmentalist arguments. Slightly related to the insult version.

 

TV Commercials: A Socialist Plot To Destroy White Men Through Cultural Genocide!

October 17, 2019

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“What about the latest hatred of white men? No one is getting it worse right now – especially from left wing liberal publications and Ads on TV.”—ElSandi. Oh horror of horrors! When the libruls (the True racists party of the KKK) aren’t busy racially profiling us—they’re busy committing genocide upon us through TV Commercials:
Just look at any commercial that has a white male in it. He is treated with indulgent humour. He is corrected as he looks up and says, “duhh” He is displayed as not knowing with the intelligent wife to guide the little man – just like women hated being done to them. and, it is crap designed by the feminists to twist men a little further into the ground. Commercials teach children a lot about the culture. – they sell lies to children about the culture. The idea of commercials, I’m sorry to have to explain to you, is to create a need in the buyers mind that such product is desirable or needed. In that interaction, they display the current culture, or hoped for culture to impress this need upon innocent minds. Hence, they are teaching the culture to children. I hope this was understandable for you.

 

  • Re: “Just look at any commercial that has a white male in it. He is treated with indulgent humour.”

    Omigod! The horror of it! Why, that’s tantamount to slaughtering all white males everywhere!!!! 

    </sarcasm>

    Re: “He is displayed as not knowing with the intelligent wife to guide the little man – just like women hated being done to them.”

    OK, I’m going to help you out a little. You aren’t going to believe me, but I’m going to explain what that’s really all about.

    And it’s not an effort to murder every white man. It just isn’t.

    The “dumb male” advertising trope is ancient, and common, but it exists for a reason: It’s an effective way to sell to the primary advertising audience — which, for most television networks, has typically been women aged 18 to 34. There are, of course, other targeted demos for specific purposes, e.g. beer advertising on sports events, but many commercials are developed for women 18-34.

    Just remember, the purpose of commercials is to sell stuff. Killing off all white males — which you think they’re doing — isn’t going to help with that effort, at all. Quite the opposite, if white males were all killed, beer sales (for example) would collapse.

    At any rate, your protest is absurd on its face. You can do much better than this, if you’re really trying to prove white males are being ruthlessly oppressed and even killed off. Get to it already … or admit you’ve got nothing and you’ve made it all up.

    Yes, Sandi. You’re right. Private businesses don’t exist to sell their own products and make a profit. Oh no! The idea that’s what they’re doing is just a front, a facade, cover for their actual goal, which is the obliteration of all white males everywhere. They’re not owned by private investors and made up of private employees … absolutely not! Rather, they’re run by insidious Left-wing extremists (e.g. the vile George Soros) who want white America slaughtered and replaced by minorities of any and every kind.

    Yeah yeah … that’s it!

    </sarcasm>

    Ahem. Enough of that insane Right-wing paranoia. The truth about American businesses is … yes, they are privately owned, held by private interests, run by privately-hired employees, who’re simply trying to sell a product and make a profit in the process.

    That’s all they are. Really! No “One World Government Made Up Only Of Dark-Skinned Folk Who Want To Destroy Whitey” bilge.

    Once upon a time, the American Right actually liked corporations, supported them, and promoted their ability to do business in the manner they wished. That time, sadly, is now over. It seems they’re now part of a duplicitous Leftist/Communist/Socialist/Whateverist conspiracy to commit a genocide, for reasons no one seems to understand except the raging, paranoid folks (like you!) who cling desperately to delusions like this.

    Maybe grow up for once, Sandi, and get some help for your illness: https://www.webmd.com/schiz…

Personally we blame George Soros as he created every commercial ever made from the antichrist Pope’s mansion.

Eric Barger rocks another Church

September 24, 2019

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“What better way is there to see a society abandon historical truths than to allow them to be revised, misshaped or omitted from school textbooks? Mark my words, our Founders lofty and spiritually inspired ideals are slowly fading from view at the hands of those who publicly boast in their pledge to do damage to the centuries-old goal and privilege of experiencing Christian freedom, standards and evangelism in our land.

Make no mistake; it is NO accident that the curriculum is mum on who we really are as a nation. With the spirit of humanist educator John Dewey leading from his grave, the secularists have fought hard to accomplish their goal of “Christianity free” textbooks. At very least they desire to play down religion and do injustice to the historical significance of the faith of our Founders.”—Eric Barger

Experienced ministers know how the scenario goes. A relatively new member who has jumped into congregational life wants to share some “concerns” he has about the church.

At the appointed time, the pastor discovers this is really a test — with an agenda. Questions that did not originate with the questioner start to flow.

Questions like: “Do you believe in a literal hell, yes or no?” “Is that a Brian McLaren book on your shelf?”

“Why did you quote Nouwen and Merton last Sunday without telling the church they are dangerous?” “Have you attended a conference at which Leonard Sweet or Richard Foster spoke?”

“The word ‘missional’ was in the church newsletter this week; don’t you check for things like that?” “Are you aware that in the young adults class last Sunday, the teacher talked about social justice instead of the Gospel?”

“Why don’t you preach against evolution?” “Are you aware of Rick Warren’s universalist leanings?”—[H/T]: Some Heretical Blog that we all must take a stand against for questioning the purity of our doctrines.

 

 

The Reason for Mass Gun Violence is…

September 7, 2019

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Typical Mass Shooter

…Smoking Pot decrees Doug Wilson: ” Why is no one that interested in how many of these shooters were pot smokers?”

Yeah that’s right rolling a doobie and smoking a joint gives people the urge to go out and commit mass killings of hunger that is. As anyone who can read would know:

Marijuana reaches the same pleasure centers in the brain that are targeted by heroin, cocaine and alcohol.

Depending on the quantity, quality and method of consumption, marijuana can produce a feeling of euphoria — or high — by stimulating brain cells to release the chemical dopamine. When smoked or otherwise inhaled, the feeling of euphoria is almost immediate. When ingested in food, it takes much longer, even hours, for the drug to signal the brain to release the dopamine, according to the National Institutes of Health.

Other changes in mood can occur, with relaxation frequently being reported. Some users experience heightened sensory perception, with colors appearing more vivid and noises being louder. For some, marijuana can cause an altered perception of time and increased appetite, known as the “munchies.”

The impact can vary by person, how often they have used the drug, the strength of the drug and how often it has been since they have gotten high, among other factors.

“In some cases, reported side effects of THC include elation, anxiety, tachycardia, short-term memory recall issues, sedation, relaxation, pain-relief and many more,” said A.J. Fabrizio, a marijuana chemistry expert at Terra Tech Corp, a California agricultural company focused on local farming and medical cannabis.

Other effects, according to the NIH, include:

  • Feelings of panic and fear (paranoia)
  • Hallucinations
  • Trouble concentrating
  • Decreased ability to perform tasks that require coordination
  • Decreased interest in completing tasks

When coming down from the high, users may feel depressed or extremely tired. While marijuana use produces a mellow experience (users are sometimes referred to as “stoners”) for some, it can heighten agitation, anxiety, insomnia and irritability, according to the NIH.

This Just In: U2’s Bono Pulls Emergents To Hell

July 17, 2019

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Bono (Pictured)

Breaking News from the Frontlines of the Truth WarThis article will show you that not only are Bono and C. S. Lewis by guilt of association not a Christian, but that they are both really from the dark side:

Have you been fooled by this rocker, who talks about his love for Jesus, but in reality shows his love for Satan during his performances? He has an alter ego named “MacPhisto.” Did you know that MacPhisto is in The Screw Tape Letters, by C.S. Lewis. The book’s characters are demons, and MacPhisto is a demon who works hard at communicating with baby Christians to get them away from God!

“But U2 is much more than a popular rock band. U2 has a great influence in the emerging church and the contemporary worship movement. U2’s lead singer Bono is praised almost universally among contemporary and emerging Christians. Phil Johnson observes that “Bono seems to be the chief theologian of the Emerging Church Movement” (Absolutely Not! Exposing the Post-modern Errors of the Emerging Church, pg. 9).

Oh the sheer horror! The sinfully horrifyingly devilish pic above is enough to lead me away from Biblical Christianity but I’m even more horrified that the article quoted above mentioned C. S. Lewis (a known heretic). Don’t they know that C. S. Lewis is a heretic as per our Clear Teachings? In fact he’s even beloved by Emerging heretics so that makes him equally heretical in keeping with our traditions by our laws of guilt by association. Here are some of the things these Emergent heretics have said about C. S. Lewis (a heretic):

  • “Like you, I have great respect for C. S. Lewis…”—Brian McLaren
  • “I am busy because I am lazy. I indolently let others decide what I will do instead of resolutely deciding myself. It was a favorite theme of C. S. Lewis that only lazy people work hard. By lazily abdicating the essential work of deciding and directing, establishing values and setting goals, other people do it for us.” ― Eugene Peterson
  • “Following Christ includes belonging, not just believing. British author and theologian C.S. Lewis noted that the word membership is of Christian origin, but the world has emptied it of its original meaning.”—Rick Warren
  • Urban Faith notes on Rob Bell:  Bell’s view on hell is like that of C.S. Lewis (not a surprise: he directs readers to Lewis’ Great Divorce in the back of the book): people get what they want.

From all of this we can gather that C.S. Lewis (a heretic) would’ve been a U2 fan were he still around in today’s perilous times—even Bono himself has a fondness for heretic C. S. Lewis:

“Many readers of this blog will be aware of Bono’s affection for C. S. Lewis, and how Lewis has influenced his theological commitments. You hear the echo of Lewis’s trilemma here from the book, Bono in Conversation, distinguishing “karma” from “grace,” which, Bono declares, is a “mind blowing concept…that keeps me on my knees.”

On reading said quote of Bono on Jesus Emerging heretic Frank Viola exclaimed: Is the Lead Singer of U2 the New C.S. Lewis? Other Discernmentalist Ministries have also observed Lewis’ heresies: “CS Lewis – his style dupes many Christians…his style is a Trojan horse for bad theology.” ~ Mike Abendroth. Dr. Hugh Jass himself—Phil Johnson’s mighty Pyromaniacs has stated:

CS Lewis did not believe in Hell and he believed in purgatory. CS Lewis was heavily influenced by his friend JRR Tolkien (who wrote Lord of the Rings) a Roman Catholic and he was also influenced by the writings of GK Chesterton, another Romanist.

Tolkien was disappointed that CS Lewis moved from his atheism but not to the Roman Catholic Church. Lewis was sort of “Anglo-Catholic.” Anyway, Tolkien’s influence on Lewis may explain Lewis’ heterodoxy.

Most importantly the Ways of the Master himself—the Pope of the Truth War John MacArthur (PBUH) declares:

Not many evangelicals would openly claim to believe in purgatory, even if their eschatology bears a striking resemblance to Catholic dogma. Eschewing the Catholic emphasis on works righteousness, a growing number in the church believe that God’s grace extends to sinners beyond the grave, rescuing them from the due penalty of their sin in the afterlife. C.S. Lewis’s book The Great Divorceplays out this theory in narrative form, as unrepentant sinners are coaxed into heaven by the saints.

But that view has no biblical basis—it’s driven by sentiment, not Scripture.

Therefore we can only conclude that NOW THE END BEGINS are leading millions away from Biblical Christianity by mentioning C. S. Lewis (a heretic).

 

 

A New PSA Message from Our Conspiracy-Driven Church!:

May 22, 2019

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FEAR… ANGER… HATRED… AGRESSION… SUFFERING….

Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”—John Howard Yoder

“Together, these elements helped create a society in which many Americans see millions of snares, laid by a menacing group of enemies, all the more alarming for how difficult they are to identify and pin down.

Let’s pause to attempt to define a conspiracy theory. It is a belief that a small group of people are working in secret against the common good, to create harm, to effect some negative change in society, to seize power for themselves, or to hide some deadly or consequential secret. An actual conspiracy is when a small group of people are working in secret against the common good – and anyone who tells you we can always easily distinguish fictitious plots from real ones probably hasn’t read much history.

Conspiracy theories tend to flourish especially at times of rapid social change, when we are re-evaluating ourselves and, perhaps, facing uncomfortable questions in the process. In 1980, the civil liberties lawyer and author Frank Donner wrote that conspiracism reveals a fundamental insecurity about who Americans want to be versus who they are.” (Source)

We Discernmentalists are Conspiracy Theory-addicts—the more unbelievable the conspiracy the better to defend our Truth with. If your church teaches social justice—say George Soros is funding this teaching even-though it is in the Bible and Church History. Social Justice sounds too much like Socialism. If your Preacher preaches that God is love and loves the world—accuse him of preaching Universalist heresy among other heresies. Thankfully we Discernmentalists can find a conspiracy to suit our every need. We love our tin-foil hats and we love to keep them on extra tight.

And remember Conspiracy theories are I. Todyaso backed…Truthslayer and Don Jobson approved