Archive for the ‘missives’ Category

The Pure Gospel

September 17, 2011

Anyone who doesn’t believe this is a heretical Semi-Pelagian Godless Reprobated Pagan. We know with Absolute Certainty that world doesn’t mean world but means Elect only which is why the Biblical author of John used the Greek word κόσμος (literal meaning: universe) instead of the Greek word for Elect ἐκλεκτός. Of course to the Truly Saved, this makes Absolutely perfect sense being that we are of the True Regenerated Converts which is why this Hard and Mature Teaching will go over the heads of heretical False Converts.

This is why Arminianist Whack-jobs, Barthians, Eastern Orthodox Romanists, Emergents, Lutherans, Papists, Pentacostal toungue-Babel-ers, Purpose-Seeker-Driven Contemplatives, rebaptizers and any other group who hates our Pure Doctrines are ignorant of the True Gospel. Armianian merit-mongering Free Willists are especially ignorant because of their man-centered idolatry in believing that world means world. What’s next— are ignorant Arminian pseudo-Math scholars going to tell us True Bible Believers that 2+2=4.  “2+2” always=4, right? Laughable and blasphemous heresy as we of God’s Truly Regenerated Elect know that 2+2 really=10.

Ken Silva’s Emerging Hidden “Postmodern Fascist” Agenda

June 6, 2010

Said Mussolini, “If each age has its doctrine, the innumerable symptoms indicated that the doctrine of our age is the Fascist one.”[3] When Mussolini penned this sentence he did not have in mind the currently popular and historically ignorant definitions of Fascism that most people possess today…

What’s wrong with all of our Mighty Truth Warriors today? First our Research Robot Monkeys have caught Eric Barger drinking communistic coffee at a worldly Emergent coven. If that wasn’t bad enough, our Research Robot Monkeys have now caught our affectionate uncle in Discernmentalism Ken Silva subliminally supporting the “Postmodern Fascism of Emergents.”  Behold the horror of Ken Silva’s unconcious sin in all it’s Postmodern Fascist abomination:

We  had to place the red Swastika  on Uncle Ken’s original poster in all of it’s missiveness for clarity’s sake—just because you can’t see a Swastika in the original print doesn’t mean it’s not really there. It looks like a kinda Swastika sort of to begin with—so obviously Ken has subtly hidden it well in his meaningless arrows—but not well enough to get by us. As one of our valiant Research Robot Monkeys and mighty follower and fellow Discernmentalist of all that is Absolute  Biblical Truth noted upon first glimpsing Ken’s original poster:

In the real world, doctrines that contradict each other cannot all be true; they can all be false, but they cannot all be true. In addition, even though in today’s spiritually spineless visible church you won’t often hear this, both the Eastern Orthodox Church and the Roman Catholic Church are apostate forms of Christianity. And apparently in the PCUSA one can be a pastor and a universalist; welcome to the very near future of mainstream evangelicalism.

We agree as Ken Silva can’t be a True Truth Warrior Discernmentalist of Absolute Biblical Truth and secretly support “Postmodern Fascism” at the same time—for as our Truth Bible says: “Avoid all appearances of evil and worldliness except for when you’re fighting for Truth or playing basketball.”  This is why we had to Discernmentalize Ken and now must take a stand by taking a stand for Absolute Biblical Truth and why we all must come against this abomination.

Ken Silva Finally Reveals His True Form

June 1, 2010

(Secondhand Internet Discernmentalist News)—  After years of keeping his true identity hidden the highly elusive and private recluseKen Silva, our affectionate Uncle in Online Discernmentalism has finally decided to publically bless his adoring fans by coming out of hiding from his secret underground Discernmentalist bunker in a closet at our ranch. Ken has planned a Discernmentalist Tour at various public places–further details are unknown as of now, but of what we do know: we know  that he may come to a mall near you along with your favorite Discernmentalists. The tour will include a discernmentalizing session of all the sinful and apostate public. The sessions will be free of charge but donations are welcome.

Secondhand Internet Discernmentalist News has obtained this exclusive photo above of the rare moment of Ken emerging from hiding. The photo was snapped only yesterday by the “ODM” paparazzi league. The photo has been verified by Ken Silva himself that it  actually is of the enigmatic Ken Silva of Apprising Ministries. The anonymous photographer said: “This very rare photo was taken as ODMs hurriedly came emerging from their latest powwow somewhere in an underground bunker by brackish lagoons deep within the backwater forests of some secluded hills.”

Sources close to Ken have heard that he has stated on record that he has been planning his first public appearance for years, but wanted to make sure the public would take him seriously enough first. Hopefully more public appearances will follow suit.

Terrorist Beard Alert System

May 6, 2010

Frequently we get questions about beards so our very own Dr. I. Todyaso wrote a award winning massive on the subject of Bible-Based Beards which gets hit up very often by those wanting to learn the Absolute Biblical Truth about beards. Recently however the question of terrorists’ beards came up so a few of our Research Robot Monkeys infiltrated secret terrorist bases deep in the mountain caves of Pakistan and elsewhere. Our Research Robot Monkeys with their perfected skills in discernmentalism came up with the above poster in order to better understand the phenomenon of terrorists’ beards.

You can never be too careful about these things for your next door neighbor might secretly be in league with the terrorists all based on the style of beard they wear. Aparrently terrorists dye their beards to expose their true colors and show you their thoughts, feelings and true intentions—but usually if you are close enough to see a suspected terrorist’s beard color by then it is too late. Never fear if you heed our warnings and advice we can help you expose a true terrorist’s beard from a fake terrorist’s beard and a Bible-Based Beard:

Step # 1: It’s all in the dye job but don’t get too close always observe a suspected terrorist’s beard from as far away as possible. Particularly using far-reaching telescopes, Research Robot Monkeys or GOIP Satellites helps in observing suspected terrorist’s beards from a distance.

Step # 2: If someone has a pet name for their beard they are most  likely a terrorist.

Step # 3: Use Bible-Based beard mite identifying scanners in order to scan where the suspected terrorist’s beard mites are from for if the beard mites are from anywhere near the vicinity of the Middle East then we have a match for terrorism.

Step # 4: Terrorists are tricky though and sometimes shave off their real beards and trade them in for fake beards if that happens it becomes tricky to identify them. In order to expose a suspected terrorist then you must discover where their fake beard comes from. If it is from anywhere other than America they are probably a terrorist.

Last, Bible-Based Beards  have already been explained by Dr. I. Todyaso so read his massive on them. Remember that we say all of this in the love of our God’s Absolute Sovereign Wrath in which we stand so heed all  of our precautions and remember as the Patron Saint of our Truth War John MacArthur says:

From the very beginning, the battle between good and evil has been a battle for the truth. The serpent, in the Garden of Eden, began his temptation by questioning the truthfulness of God’s previous instruction: “Indeed, has God said, ‘You shall not eat from any tree of the garden’? … “You surely shall not die! For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil” (Gen. 3:1,4–5). And this has been his tactic ever since—casting doubt on the straightforward revelation of God.

Throughout the centuries, this age-old war on truth has been repeatedly fought even within the church. The biblical writer Jude, for instance, faced such a situation when he wrote his epistle. Though he had wanted to write about the wonders of the common salvation that he shared with his readers, he was compelled instead to urge his readers to “contend earnestly for the faith which was once for all delivered to the saints” (v. 3). False teachers, like spiritual terrorists, had secretly crept into the church (v. 4). The lies they were spreading, like doctrinal hand grenades, were spiritually devastating. They were enemies of the truth, and Jude was compelled to expose and confront them.

Over the past few decades, the church in the United States has fought this very battle on several fronts. In the sixties and seventies, the doctrine of biblical inerrancy came under direct attack. The Bible, it was said, was full of errors, and thus could not be trusted as historically or scientifically accurate. In the eighties and nineties, the sufficiency of Scripture was targeted. The charismatic movement (with its need for additional revelation from God) and Christian psychology (with its emphasis on neo-Freudian counseling techniques) attempted to undermine the fact that God “has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness through the true knowledge of Him,” as revealed in Scripture (2 Pet. 1:3).

As the millennium drew to a close, the attack on God’s revealed truth came in a new way. This time the relevance of Scripture was the point of attack. Rather than being directly maligned, the Bible was quietly discarded by church leaders for whom biblical teaching was simply not a major priority. “The Seeker Movement,” more or less advocated limiting the presentation of divine truth to what unbelievers are willing to tolerate.

A new movement is now arising in and around evangelical circles. Now, it appears, the main object of attack will be the perspicuity of Scripture. Influenced by postmodern notions about language, meaning, subjectivity, and truth, many younger evangelicals are questioning whether the Word of God is clear enough to justify certainty or dogmatism on any point of doctrine. Ironically, this new movement more-or-less ignores all of the previous debates. Instead, its proponents are much more interested in dialogue and conversation. As a result, propositional truth (which tends to end dialogue rather than start it) is scorned and rebuffed as an outmoded vestige of twentieth-century modernism.

This movement is very diverse and still developing, but it is generally referred to as “the Emerging Church.

A terrorist just may be hiding out in your church but now thanks to our impeccable researchmentalism you know how to expose them.

Obama And The New World Order Exposed

March 2, 2010

            

Discernmentalists we have exposed Obama‘s secret New World Order plans—thanks to Eric Barger and Brannon Howse. We have reason to believe that he may cause the end of the world in 2012 because We Know he is on Satan’s side. One of our Secret Research Robot Monkey Agents that infiltrated secret New World Order locations has concluded that:

President-Elect Barack Obama and his Liberal, Socialist Democratic Party are facilitators of the New World Order, a Luciferic Theocracy being promoted by The UNITED NATIONS, which is Anti-Israel and seeks the Disarmament of America and the restriction of many of our rights.
Beyond the wickedness that Obama and his Democrats have planned for America (A VIRTUAL POLICE STATE), Obama will turn against Israel as his U.N. based foreign policy favors Muslim Terrorists such as Hamas.
OBAMA in power will force ISRAEL to attack Iran’s nuclear weapons program (2009-2010 AD) triggering waves of terror attacks against USA and the west, the collapse of the USA stock market- leading to the FIRST OF TWO RAPTURES and the Start of The Tribulation.
Only a major EARTHQUAKE hitting Iran and destroying their nuclear program would stop Israel from attacking Iran’s nuclear program (2009-2010 AD). Israel will have no choice with OBAMA as President of The United States (with his Anti-Israel Agenda). If this major EARTHQUAKE does hit Iran, It will push the start of The Apocalypse closer to 2012 AD,THE MAYAN YEAR FOR DOOMSDAY AND THE COMING OF ANTICHRIST AS THE SAVIOR OF WORLD.”
 
 

 

Here is an exclusive video recovered by our Research Robot Monkeys detailing Obama’s plans for a Secret One World Religious Government:

Remember to let us do the thinking for you—so spread the fear and hate, because we told you so.

 

Discernmentalist Bowl

February 8, 2010

Forget the Super Bowl this year and watch the Discernmentalist Bowl live and commercial free. This year team Reagan’s Raiders takes on team Raw Sewage in a competition of discernmentalism of epic proportions. See who wins the highly coveted Reaganite Discernmentalist Cup Trophy as well as other cool Reaganite prizes. Here is the roster of team Raw Sewage’s lineup:

From left to right: Team Captain Ken Silva head of Raw Sewage Ministries,  Cheerleader Ericha Badger of Take A Stand Ministries, Head Cheerleader Toddy Friel of Wretched Discernmentalism, Field Discernmentalist Ingrid Eva Braun of Laodiceans R’ Us and Lead Conspiracy Theorist Adolfa Howse of New World Order Weekend.

Representing team Reagan’s Raiders are God’s Only Inerrant Party and the Online Discernmentalist Mafia

This year’s Discernmentalist Bowl’s Half-Time Show will feature special entertainment—open air law and wrath witnessing by Quirk Cameron and Ray Comforts (Awesome):

And a special Absolute Truth Gospel  Concert of Hope for God’s Wrath to Pour Down Upon All of Our Enemies like Haiti:

A Spectacular Discernmentalist Event For The Whole Family!

Worldview Weekend Caught Displaying It’s New World Order Roots Again

January 29, 2010

So we got the latest newsletter laxative Massive from New World Order Weekend Worldview Weekend in our email box today and one of the articles was about the evils of abortion which was all well and good until we noticed the author was endorsing Roman Catholicism—how dare he. Here for all to see is Cliff Kincaid‘s rank apostasy:

None Dare Call it Genocide By Cliff Kincaid  |  January 25, 2010

Robert McCartney of the Washington Post went to the March for Life and discovered that young people are on the side of life.

Dennis Howard told EWTN television network on the day of the March for Life in Washington, D.C. that legalized abortion is the equivalent of 260 Haiti disasters on American soil. The death toll from abortion in the U.S. is over 52 million.

One of the differences is that Haiti is the result of a natural disaster. Abortion is man-made.

Another difference is that we search for the victims in Haiti and rush assistance to those injured from the earthquake. The victims of abortion are not worthy of sympathy or attention because they are the product of a “woman’s right to choose.” 

How dare he —doesn’t he know that EWTN is a Catholic channel which airs anti-Protestant propaganda that attacks our Absolute Truth Doctrines. Not only that Cliff Kincaid endorses Catholicism not just once but several times:

Robert McCartney of the Washington Post went to the March for Life and discovered that young people are on the side of life. Though “pro-choice” himself, he reported that “…I was especially struck by the large number of young people among the tens of thousands at the march. It suggests that the battle over abortion will endure for a long time to come.” He noted that some of them carried “We are the pro-life generation” placards.

McCartney implied that many young people were raised Catholic and programmed to oppose abortion. Indeed, some may be pro-life because their parents are pro-life. But some may be pro-life by virtue of the fact that they are alive and grateful for it. 

In addition to the pictures of aborted babies, which never show up in the major media, we have the ultrasound images of babies in the womb. General Electric has a piece of equipment, the GE 4D ultrasound, that takes some of the best pictures. 

When my wife and I had our first child, the ultrasound images were grainy. They are much clearer now.

McCartney’s point about Catholic involvement was nevertheless true. There was a heavy Catholic presence. But some marchers let the Bishops know that they are not satisfied with the church’s treatment of the issue.  “Excommunicate all Catholic pro-abortion politicians” proclaimed one sign. “Bishops: Enforce Canon 915” said another. Section 915 of the Code of Canon Law requires the denial of Holy Communion to those engaging in “grave sin,” interpreted by traditional Catholics as support for abortion

We here at God’s Only Inerrant Party and the Online Discernmentalist Mafia can’t let this ecumenical heresy slide as we never compromise our Absolute Truth with heretics. Hasn’t Cliff Kincaid ever read the illustrious Ken Silva’s articles as our Uncle the great Pastor-Teacher Ken has also written for Worldview Weekend New World Order Weekend at times? Doesn’t he know that the Pope is the spiritual Anti-Christ bent on a One World Religious Government and the Roman Catholic Church wants to destroy our Pure Churches? Tisk tisk ever since we’ve caught Adolf Howse Brannon Howse endorsing Scientology we believe that Worldview Weekend New World Order Weekend has been slipping into Emergent error. We Know because of Tim LaHaye and Ken Silva’s clear teachings that we’ve studied and surpassed. All we have to say to Cliff Kincaid is repent of your errors or face God’s Wrath.

Lets Start The New Year Off Right

January 3, 2010

Let us  do all the thinking and researchmentalism for you so that you won’t have to strain any of your brain cells. In the words of the OD Mafia:

God’s truth is so fragile we must take a stand in God’s sovereignty to protect it. If we do not, the perverts and sickos of this world will destroy the church. Are you tired of those wimpy so called Online Discernment Ministries? We are and we want to stand up and protect our God and His Truth…Truth is so fragile and if we do not make a stand in the sovereignty of God, the Church might be lost to the sickos and perverts out there who are invading it! We know who and what they are. They are in our pews. They are on your TV. They are corrupting the most godly of things, the Internet!

 This blog is about protecting the truth of God that is so fragile.

What we promise.

To expose all to God’s wrath.

To preach that Jesus is coming back and He is so angry with sinners!

Hell is a real “place”.

If you do not hold to true doctrine then you will be blotted from the Lamb’s Book of Life forever!

Spread the gospel of Spurgeon and John MacArthur (the only truth living teacher of God’s word) to all the world.

 We are tired of emergents, RCC wannabes, Rich Warren, Rob Bell, Beth Moore, Brian McLaren, Doug Pagget, Tony Jones, sinners in general who are not worthy of our God, and anyone that sounds like or acts like any of these apostates.

Meet  our GOIP Bots who assist us in our Absolute Truth War efforts as fully-fledged supporters of John MacArthur’s Truth Wars

GOIP  BOT 2000.10  or our God-Jesus Robot is the latest model in the GOIP Bot 2000 series and assists us in all of our judgementalist needs by helping to pour down God’s Wrath upon all, judging others, frontline defense, heresy hunting, omniscience, omnipresence, fortune telling among other judgemental tasks.  We stole the top secret plans for the GOIP  BOT 2000.10 from Japan. A home version of the GOIP  BOT 2000.10 is now available from GOIP Labs:

Revised:*Here are two videos of one of our GOIP  BOT 2000.10s in action—

When  we asked if Brian McLaren is a heretic he responded “The answer is yes”:

When we asked if John MacArthur is ever wrong he responded “The answer is no”:

*

Finally meet GOIP Bot 3000 which along with GOIP Eye 3 is the backbone of GOIP Discernmentalism and helps assist us in counter spiritual terrorism, Truth War ways, arrogance, greed, hate, torture, self-righteousness, keeping God in a box, Nationalism, burning heretics, among other tasks, etc. Using Eric Barger‘s Bible-Based Mathematics System in which 2 + 2 doesn’t always equal 4 but sometimes equals 10—-here is the logically sound Biblical equation which proves this Absolute Fact: 2 + 2=4 but when turned upside down 2 looks like an inversed s and s looks like a 5 so therefore 2(s) or s + s really is 5 + 5 which means 2 + 2 turned upside down means that 2 + 2 sometimes equals 10—we calculated the technical details involved in the making a GOIP Bot 3000. With Ken Silva’s Seal of Approval  our slave laborers created the GOIP Bot 3000 the top of the line in Truth War Discernmentalism:

This is why we will preach the Good News of God’s Wrath to you and force you to listen!

Anti-War Emergents Are Freaking Liberal Terrorist Enablers

December 10, 2009

 

One of our own— a warmongering MacArthurite schools  an evil peacemongering Emergent:

 

boomac62 (1 year ago) Show Hide

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“My belief is that the truth is a truth until you organize it, and then becomes a lie. I don’t think that Jesus was teaching Christianity, Jesus was teaching kindness, love, concern, and peace. What I tell people is don’t be Christian, be Christ like. Don’t be Buddhist, be Buddha like.” Wayne Dyer…wise words, no?
VJDTropical (1 year ago) Show Hide
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No,it isn’t…John MacArthur is right
boomac62 (1 year ago) Show Hide
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You believe Jesus did teach us to love our enemies,to show kindness, to be “peacemakers” and to turn the other cheek,etc. Jesus looked into the heart and had no interest in the outside…so our “religion” of Christianity may not please him at all. MacArthur wrote much on the Lordship issue and I do believe that if indeed Jesus is not just saviour but Lord we should follow His teachings. I don’t care who is a “Christian” I only want to see more people who are Christ like.
Peace
1 Cor 10:31
VJDTropical (1 year ago) Show Hide
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It’s about following Christ…repentance…turning away from sin…Jesus Christ said “I am the way,the truth and the light…no man comes to the Father but by me”
boomac62 (1 year ago) Show Hide
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Well, following Christ is our life, working for justice,peace and equality, caring for Gods creation and loving those so often judged and avoided by so called Christians. Being a disciple is hard but it is what our calling is. Jesus is the way,truth and light.
Peace and Glory to God

Todd Friel Caught Promoting Universalism

November 27, 2009

Todd Friel had this video on his Wretched site. Screwtape Letters was written by C. S. Lewis. C. S. Lewis was not  a Calvinist and a heretic who believed in universalism—so therefore Todd Friel is promoting universalism. Saint  John MacArthur would be apalled. We are too that’s why we had to discernmentalize Todd. Repent Todd lest ye be found among the unregenerate repobated non-Elect false converts and therefore unworthy to recieve a Christmas card from Saint John MacArthur.