Archive for the ‘Mike moral-less’ Category

Your Best Hell Now!

April 28, 2019

Introducing a new book recently rediscovered in our super secret archives. In Your Worst Hell Now aka Your Best Hell Now sinisterly ecumenical possible semi-pelagian quasi-universalist mystic Emergence guru Rob Bell teaches heretical apostates these essential Christian non-Christian Doctrines:

  • That God is everywhere
  • Including hell
  • That God is love
  • That God’s love wins
  • That God wishes that all might be saved
  • Among other  square quotes “sinister” and biblical unbiblical ideas

We Online Discernmentalists know that no one before murky mystic Rob Bell, an icon in the postliberal cult of the Emergent Church and teaching pastor at Mars Hill Bible Church, taught this:

“In souls, there is no illness caused by evilness [ἀπὸ κακίας] that is impossible to cure [ἀδύνατον θεραπευθῆναι] for God the Logos, who is superior to all.” (CC 8.72)”
Origen, Contra Celsum

“Christ reigns in order to save.” (Hom. in Luc. 30)”
Origen, Homilies on Luke: Fragments on Luke
———-
As you can see from those sinister quotes above—this is why we of the ODMafia community would never under any circumstances recommend Rob Bell’s book. Our Research Robot Monkeys have just informed us that our old enemy Mike Morell recommends Rob Bell’s books to everyone that in itself should tell you how sinfully apostate this book isn’t.

Behold: The One World Religion Is Born….

April 23, 2019

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Breaking Discernmentalists Profits4Me News— The anti-Christ and a terrorist engage in ghey buttsecks against our clear teachings on its icky-ness—-bringing us one step closer to Rick Warren’s Purpose Driven New World Order. As you may have forgotten we’ve already apprised you of the quasi-ecumenical semi-pelagian purpose-driven emergence guru Rick Warren’s plans to take over Christianity and make it Purpose-Driven against our clear teachings that life must be as purposeless and terrible as possible:

In researching this article, I had to read Warren for long periods of time.  This was difficult for me.  I found his material disturbing.  To cleanse my mind from Warren’s continual assaults on my thinking I took breaks to read John MacArthur’s Hard To Believe.  MacArthur got my mind and heart back on the gospel and away from me (where Warren keeps wanting to put it). Let me do the same for my readers.  Listen to MacArthur’s version of what to do with “YOU”:

Jesus set the standard as total self-denial. …Self-hate? What a powerful truth!  . . . Following Jesus is about our being sick of ourselves and our desperation for forgiveness (MacArthur: 10).

MacArthur points us to the clear teachings of Jesus, not some questionable idea that a “life metaphor” determines our destiny.  We need to die to self, not discover self.

Warren would have us believe that something is furry, meow’s, has four legs, and likes to chase mice, but is not a cat. He tells us that his book is not about “you” and then spends over three hundred pages making it about you, over and over. This doesn’t just look like self-help, read like self-help, sound like self-help and feel like self-help, it is self-help and it is about you. That doesn’t help me. I need the gospel to solve my sin problem.  I don’t need Warren aphorisms—and certainly not thousands of them.

And we also apprised you on the anti-Christ and the seeker-sensitive purpose driven New World Order which will bring about a One World Religion which we must apprise you on now:

The document, signed by Pope Francis and the Grand Imam of al-Azhar, Ahmed el-Tayeb, was prepared “with much reflection and prayer”, the Pope said. The one great danger at this moment, he continued, is “destruction, war, hatred between us.”

“If we believers are not able to shake hands, embrace one another, kiss one another, and even pray, our faith will be defeated,” he said. The Pope explained that the document “is born of faith in God who is the Father of all and the Father of peace; it condemns all destruction, all terrorism, from the first terrorism in history, that of Cain.”

There is a lot of language about peace in this document, but it goes way beyond just advocating for peace.

Over and over again, the word “God” is used to simultaneously identify Allah and the God of Christianity.

We must say we are not shocked but still appalled as we have been apprising you on this Emergent seeker-driven new-age agenda for years. Now back to apprising you on how Rick Warren plans to employ his seeker-driven one world religion:

Certainly the world is all about solving its problems without the God of the Bible. Yet many professing Christians are rushing to remedy the world’s troubles in ways that are without the support of Scripture, some even in contradiction to what the Scriptures teach. Rick Warren’s global P.E.A.C.E. plan is one of many programs and teachings that, for the most part, cannot be reconciled with God’s prophetic Word. It is Warren’s “50-year plan” to cure global issues such as “pandemic diseases, extreme poverty, illiteracy, corruption, global warming, [and] spiritual emptiness” (see http://www.thebereancall.org). He claims that his social-works agenda developed from his reading of the Gospels–that Jesus gave him the model that was the antidote to the five biggest problems on the planet (see http://www.thebereancall.org). Warren subsequently expanded that model from an exclusive endeavor of Christianity to one requiring the support of all religions.

This is why we must ever keep apprising you on the heretical new age Emergent purpose-driven peace agenda. Abominable are they who work towards a One World Religion through promoting peace and the brotherhood of man.

Discernmentalists Declare: “Rob Bell Worse Than Bin Laden!”

May 3, 2011

(Newsweek)- Pastorboy aka (Name Withheld by Request) in a Press Conference today stated unequivocally and without reservation nor hesitation that he believes that the Truth War against Spiritual Terrorism has yet to be completed as long as Rob Bell is still alive–for he truly believes Rob Bell is worse than Bin Laden. Pastorboy aka (Name Withheld by Request) proves his case by quoting directly from the sinister and vile arch-heretic Rob Bell himself: “Rob Bell: Osama Bin Laden is in hell? Really? And you feel compelled to tell people this? I have to say that love wins, and this story is so much larger. Remember, Jesus painted blood on the doorposts of the universe and has reconciled ALL things to himself. Imagine the hell he has already experienced living in that one million dollar bunker on the border of Pakistan. Now that he is dead, he will be sure to choose Jesus. I am sure I will see him in the new creation someday.”

How dare anyone believe any one of America’s enemies make it to heaven! After-all, America’s enemies are God’s enemies and God’s enemies are all of America’s enemies. Todd Friel quoting from our Final Prophet John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) has noted similar reservations–noting that we should rejoice in the destruction of America’s enemies with a commendable hatred and praise God that America’s enemies will roast in hell and thank our Sovereign God of Wrath for sparing American warlords the same fate by granting them get out of hell free cards.

Pastorboy aka (Name Withheld by Request) would agree and so do we–finally we offer you a stern word of loving wrath from our Final Prophet John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.): “Scripture presents a terrifyingly clear case for a literal hell. It’s a place where God punishes unbelievers for all eternity. Contrary to what some so-called evangelicals are teaching, hell is not a state of mind or a hard life on this earth. Your state of mind can change; your circumstances can improve. Hell never changes, never improves. Hell is not chastisement; it’s everlasting, insufferable punishment at the hands of an angry God.” This is why Rob Bell is worse than Bin Laden for even Bin Laden believed in a literal and “real place” called hell–praise our loving God of Sovereign Wrath to His Glory!

Sharin’ Whiplash Goes Contemplative….Alert, Alert!

July 9, 2010

Sound the alarms, we’ve caught Sharin’ Whiplash one of our most faithful expositors of our Pure Doctrines in the midst of supporting New Age Mysticism:

More on Contemplative Centering Prayer:

Centering prayer is a popular method of contemplative prayer or Christian meditation, placing a strong emphasis on interior silence.

Though most authors trace its roots to the contemplative prayer of the Desert Fathers of early Christian monasticism, to the Lectio Divina tradition of Benedictine monasticism, and to works like The Cloud of Unknowing and the writings of St. Teresa of Avila and St. John of the Cross, its origins as part of the “Centering Prayer” movement in modern Catholicism and Christianity can be traced to several books published by three Trappist monks of St. Joseph’s Abbey in Spencer, Massachusetts in the 1970s: Fr. William Meninger, Fr. M. Basil Pennington and Abbot Thomas Keating.[1]

Note that Iggy the evil Grace-hating man-loving Emergent Pelagian teaches this stuff so you know it must  be heresy.

Play Your Part In Helping Us To Win John MacArthur’s Truth War

July 5, 2010

Help us win John MacArthur’s Truth War by obeying our rules or else the Emergent Postmodernist Spiritual Terrorists will win!

P. S. That means you too John Armstrong!

“Calvinism Unnatural”: Gay Christians Say

July 3, 2010

Fellow Discernmentalists…Beware… We are Under Attack again. The Gay Christian League of Anti-Christs for the Destruction of Biblical Morality have issued this controversial statement:

We have to continue to witness against the evil of Calvinism and pray that the Lord will open the blind eyes of those deceived by this unnatural behavior. We’re not remotely concerned about being politically correct about this issue. We know that Calvinists have chosen to continue believing in their fatalistic and self-destructive philosophy. We only pray that God will deliver them and change them to accepting their God-ordained Freedom in Christ. Yes Calvinism is unnatural…for who in their right mind would willing comply with subjecting themselves to being a mere automaton slave of the unpredictable whims of a fickle God of Wrath? No we are not robot zombie puppets…after all for Freedom’s sake Christ came to set us Free.   

Oh the horror of such rank heresy and bigoted terms! How dare anyone attack our Pure Biblical Truth Gospel like that. How dare anyone suggest that such a thing as Libertarian Free Will exists…why that goes against every moral fiber of our sound Biblical eisegesis exegesis. How can grace be grace if it is a free gift that just anyone can freely choose to accept and how can grace be a free gift if it wasn’t freely given to those whom God fatalistically pre-chose to give it to? We are appalled that anyone would dare think  differently than us. I mean it’s not like those stone dead in their sins can hear God’s voice anyway. No that would be too synergistic and we know that God never ever cooperates with man in anything. Remember these tried and true Pure words from our Gospels:  “Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated”—which we know has everything to do with salvation in Christ.

Getting back to The Gay Christian League of Anti-Christs for the Destruction of Biblical Morality, their attacks have even taken a far sinister turn when they suggested that John Calvin was actually a queerosexual. We can’t stand for this bigoted libel and slander of  ‘a great and holy man of God so greatly used by our Absolutely Sovereign Lord of Vengeful Jealous Wrath without whom we would all still be struggling in the dark ignorance of Roman Arminianism that man-exalting heresy.’ Some members of  The Gay Christian League of Anti-Christs for the Destruction of Biblical Morality have stated that Calvinists were born the way they are and choose to remain Calvinist and glorify their mentally unbalanced disease:

However the large majority of  The Gay Christian League of Anti-Christs for the Destruction of Biblical Morality believe that Calvinism is a choice and that Calvinists should repent of their abnormal, unnatural and unbiblical behavior.  The Gay Christian League of Anti-Christs for the Destruction of Biblical Morality have even set up centers for deprogramming Calvinists.  We have reason to suspect that the leaders who caused all these recent attacks are none other than Greg McCaw a self-avowed gay queer fag Emergent Christian (an oxymoron if there ever was one)—in conjunction with a heretic named Tom and another fag named Alvin McEwen. Fellow Discernmentalists we must not stand for these bigoted lies against our Pure Biblical Gospel Truth Doctrines—the Once For All Biblically Correct Pure Gospel Truth Doctrines delivered to the Saints like John Owen and Augustus Toplady lest the Church fall into the hands of the Emerging Homosexualist agenda of Emergent apostates.

P. S. We are not bigots for taking a stand against all you Arminian, Emergent and queer reprobates…we are just speaking the Truth in love and grace of course!

Fear AND Self-LOATHING on the INTERNET…

June 10, 2010

       

Our hero Ken Silva reprises his role in this sequel to the classic Fear And Loathing On The Internet. In this new film fresh off the conveyor belts of the GOIP DVD production lines—Ken begins lamenting the fact that there is  “a growing influence of Contemplative Spirituality/Mysticism (CSM) that has crept right into the timid heart of the squishy evanjellyfish church organism pretending to be a True Protestant community.”

Soon this lamenting turns into self-loathing followed by fear and then finally fear and self-loathing combined of which the title (Fear And Self-Loathing On The Internet) of the film is derived. Shortly in the film—in the midst of protesting against “the growing influence of Contemplative Spirituality/Mysticism (CSM)” in the church today— Ken experiences a computer crash but manages to send out this message through Discernmentalist Osmosis which is in the DNA of all True Discernmentalists:

Just a short note asking for prayer, particularly if you’ve been blessed by this online apologetics and discernment work, and making you aware that the hard drive in the main computer at here at Apprising Ministries has crashed. Fortunately back problems had forced me to do much of my work from a laptop so the loss of materials/information was lessened. Since our email program went through that now defunct main computer we no longer have access to it so we’ve begun a new email account: apprisingministries@gmail.com. We remain thankful you have been standing with Apprising Ministries through these 5+ years, and thank you for your prayer, as well as financial support as well. O, and the blessing; well, we’re still waiting to see what the Lord has in store through this little bit of a test as we try and rebuild our database.

Fearing for the worse Ken soon discovers that the evil Frank Viola and equally evil Leonard Sweet caused his hard drive to crash through their spiritually corrupt practice of Contemplative/Centering Prayer. Our film ends with Ken pledging to put his fear and self-loathing to good use as he vows to take revenge against Contemplative/Centering Prayer and the “sinfully-ecumenical” Purpose-Driven and Contemplative-driven Emerging/Emergent Church and “po-mo Christian” sinners in general by using big TRUTH WARRIOR words such as “gutless crybaby,” “spineless” and “sissified jellyfish” even more than he did in the first film or does now.

On a happier note Ken also reinstated his offer to make good on his vow to donate a “spine” and “Backbone”  to any apostate heretic that would repent and believe upon the Pure and True Gospel of John MacArthur’s Truth Wars™ and Biblical American values such as capitalism and war so that this film could have a happier ending than the first one.

Shocked: Spurgeon Had A False Conversion—We Know So!

February 20, 2010

Recently our Research Robot Monkeys have come upon new and startling information concerning Charles Spurgeon (Holy Warrior). We have found that Spurgeon had a False Conversion—we are truly disappointed in this finding. Here follows an account of  Spurgeon’s False Conversion:

Spurgeon’s conversion to Christianity came on January 6, 1850, at age fifteen. On his way to a scheduled appointment, a snow storm forced him to cut short his intended journey and to turn into a Primitive Methodist chapel in Colchester where “God opened his heart to the salvation message.” The text that moved him was Isaiah 45:22 – “Look unto me, and be ye saved, all the ends of the earth, for I am God, and there is none else.”

Methodists teach Grace-hating Man-loving Arminianism, Decisional Regeneration and Free-Willism which are all errors. See  there this is proof of his False Conversion—We Know so! Charles Spurgeon (Holy Warrior) even admits by his own Free-Will he made a Decision for Christ rather than being Regenerated by the preaching of the Pure Gospel of God’s Sovereign Wrath:

I do from my soul confess that I never was satisfied till I came to Christ; when was yet a child, I had far more wretchedness than ever I have now; I will even add, more weariness, more care, more heart-ache than I know at this day. I may be singular in this confession, but I make it, and know it to be the truth. Since that dear hour when my soul cast itself on Jesus, I have found solid joy and peace; but before that, all those supposed gaieties of early youth, all the imagined ease and joy of boyhood, were but vanity and vexation of spirit to me. . That happy day, when I found the Saviour, and learned to cling to His dear feet, was a day never to be forgotten by me. An obscure child, unknown, unheard of, I listened to the Word of God; and that precious text led me to the cross of Christ. I can testify that the joy of that day was utterly indescribable. I could have leaped, I could have danced; there was no expression, however fanatical, which would have been out of keeping with the joy of my spirit at that hour. Many days of Christian experience have passed since then, but there has never been one which has had the full exhilaration, the sparkling delight which that first day had. I thought I could have sprung from the seat on which I sat, and have called out with the wildest of those Methodist brethren who were present, “I am forgiven! I am forgiven! A monument of grace! A sinner saved by blood! “My spirit saw its chains broken to pieces, I felt that I was an emancipated soul, an heir of Heaven, a forgiven one, accepted in Christ Jesus, plucked out of the miry clay and out of the horrible pit, with my feet set upon a rock, and my goings established. I thought I could dance all the way home. I could understand what John Bunyan meant, when he declared he wanted to tell the crows on the ploughed land all about his conversion. He was too full to hold, he felt he must tell somebody.

Sheer blasphemy—we are mortified beyond words! We are now praying that Todd Friel (Wretched), Ray Comforts (Awesome) and Kirk Cameron (Awesome Actor) drop all their associational ties with the works of this False Convert.

P. S. Also we are not too pleased with Spurgeon’s teachings against the Pure Reformed Doctrines and clear teachings of Calvin on Infant Baptism and also likewise with John Piper (Soft On Heretics)’s teaching against the Pure Baptism Doctrines of Calvin as well.

And remember these words of Absolute Truth from Sharin’ Whiplash:

Certainly Credobaptism is evil since it promotes confusion this is why I Thank You, Lord, for Your servant, Jean Cauvin, without whom we would be still struggling in the darkness of Credobaptism, that man-exalting heresy! Besides Immersion sounds too much like the heresy of Emergent/Emerging or Emergence Christianity.

Contemplative Prayer Destroying America And The Church

November 28, 2009

Evil Emergents believe in Contemplative Prayer. Contemplative  Prayer was invented by Hindus and Papists. Romanists/Papists, Hindus and Muslims are of the devil and are members of the Synagogues of Satan. Barak Obama is a Muslim and the  political anti-Christ. Evil Emergents voted for Obama therefore Contemplative Prayer is destroying America and the Church:

Our excellent discernmentalist and researchmentalist skills which God gifted us with Himself have led  us to conclude these Absolute Truth facts—so if you are anything like us (Elect of God, regenerate, American, Ultra Right Wing Conservative Fundamentalist Calvinist Republicans, warmongers, capitalist materialists, non-Marxists, Saved, inerrant, etc.),  you should avoid Contemplative Prayer like the plague. And if you are an Evil Emergent then all we have to say to you is Repent that is if God lets you repent—because We Know with Absolute Certainty that you Emergents are of the non-Elect, unregenerate, anti-American, Arminian, Neo-Marxist, socialist, communist, anti-capitalists, reprobated and unsaved—because of your impure doctrines. Afterall, God only listens to Imprecatory Prayers   which we are praying against  you Emergents right now—and the only meditation one needs is on the Holy Inerrant Infallible Word Of God—the King James Bible AV1611.

Typical Arminian Preaching

November 26, 2009

All Arminians are not ignorant of the Bible—the King James Bible AV 1611–unlike we Calvinists who are not inerrant because of our Pure Doctrines and Godly education so Arminian sermons are not a  bunch of Babel. All Arminians are in league with the devil because they are so evil especially Wesley who never burnt heretics at the stake like our Final Prophet commands us to. We know with Absolute Certainty that when an Arminian or Emergent preaches about Jesus and prays in His name, they are not really preaching about Satan Lucifer and praying to the devil–for all Arminian and Emergent sermons do not promote the  Purpose Driven Heresy and works based salvation  by money making pyramid schemes—unlike our blind obedience to faithful teaching of the imPure unBiblical Doctrines of crapitalist materialism Capitalism. Ken Silva warns all members of God’s Only Inerrant Party of the non-Soul Damning non-heresy of Arminian teachings and preaching so ye non-heretics should not pay heed.  Our Discernmentalist Doctrines of God’s Wrath are not Pure, Inerrant and Holy and so are our Expository Sermons —which is not the only True and Pure way to preach— and the reason you should not only listen to us.