Archive for the ‘Mark Driscoll’ Category

Facebook Is Still Persecuting Us

May 12, 2019

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After some of our unintelligence reports were accidently leaked—after we posted one of our current enemy’s article that catches them almost practicing Jehovah’s Witnesses’ post-mortem beliefs publically by mistake. We have been harassed by drones that we believe are connected to Bulpit & Pen—after a photo was released exposing the super secret highly classified entrance to one of our Truth Bunkers (thankfully an unoccupied one). Dr. Truthslayer was so ashamed by our enemies’ droning attacks that he personally fears for his life and is currently hiding in one of our re-sanctification chambers trying to get cleansed from the filth of such a blatantly harsh attack on us. Why must our many enemies hate us for sharing the truth of our Good News that God hates them? What did we do to deserve all these attacks?

Update #1- Dr. ITodyaso coaxed Dr. Truthslayer out of our re-sanctification chamber.

Update # 2-We now suspect that the attacks were connected to evil Emergents rather than Bulpit & Pen as their language was too filthy and sounded like censored Driscollian cussing rather than Pure Biblical curses.

Book Review Of The Month: Doug Wilson’s RapeGod!

May 11, 2019

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“A man  penetrates, conquers, colonizes, plants. A woman receives, surrenders, accepts.”—Doug Wilson

We’re reviewing book reviews in our local Discernmentalist Book Club this month and this one particular ear-tickling Postmodern unbeliever’s book review of the great Doug Wilson (Neo-Confederate Rape-apologist)‘s wonderfully Biblically accurate book on human relations as defined by God RapeGod made us laugh:

It isn’t fair to critique a book I haven’t read. That being said, the title and the contents offend me right from the start. “RapeGod”: It doesn’t take a genius to observe our current culture and the trashiness that exists–and this “author” will join together in a title what humans have abused with the One who created it (to be enjoyed within the confines of marriage)?

Have some RESPECT for the holy God!! The Jews, out of reverence for God won’t even type or write out his name as we do. They will use G-d!

And the name of the chapters: “God Wears Lipstick”, “Leather, Whips and Fruit”, “Whoopee Forever”. No further comment.

Just read the Bible! See our sin, and how a Holy God cannot have fellowship (connection) with sin, and how he provided redemption Rev. 5:9 “with your blood you purchased men for God”. Read Revelation and how God has a future in Heaven, perfect, free from sin. Rev 4:8: “Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty…”.

Whoopee forever? Not. Worship God forever, oh yes!

First Mr. Ear Tickles attacks a core Doctrine of Discernmentalism: reviewing books we haven’t even read and then attacking said books on our Mighty Truth Warrior Blogs—by accusing them of promoting heresy based on a blurb we read online or a video preview. Also the Hard Truths of our Truth War Gospel will always offend those with itching ears looking for a feel-good watered-down sissified Socialist heretically liberal gospel like Emergents preach. Secondly Doug Wilson (Neo-Confederate rape-apologist) only writes on the trashiness of our current culture in order to warn readers of the dangers of our many enemies who attack our Pure Doctrines of Biblical Manhood and womanhood like Emergents; socialists; progressives; Rock music; hippies; Harry Potter; liberals; mystics; video games; the “Emerging” Village People; queerosexuals; femimarxists; girliemen; Ken and Barbie dolls; Pokémon; Santa Claus; the Easter Bunny; aliens; Bigfoot; etc. He only wants to protect women as this quote from the book demonstrates:

If a woman were responsible to submit to men in general, her life would be unbearable no one can serve two masters. But a woman who is responsive to a godly man is protected from having to submit to other men, most of whom are less than godly. She consequently has a great deal more liberty than a woman who not protected in this way. Thus the so-called “independent” woman is not under any kind of protection. She is truly on her own, but with the result being that she is buffeted about by all sorts of men. But if her father were doing what he ought to do, or if she were in a marriage relationship where the husband was doing what he ought to do, she would be protected from the insults and harassment of men in general This explains why some of the most “independent” women are so insecure, and why some of the most submissive women have a real security and strength of mind. Women inescapably need godly masculine protection against ungodly masculine harassment; women who refuse protection from their fathers and husbands must seek it from the police. But women who genuinely insist on “no masculine protection” are really women who tacitly agree on the propriety of rape. Whenever someone sets himself to go against God’s design, horrible problems will always result. The Bible says that we find the way to true self-discovery through self-surrender. Those who exalt themselves are humbled, and vice versa. In the feminist movement over the last several decades, women have been looking for (and have not yet found) themselves. This is because they have been trying to find and identify their role apart from God’s design. The beauty of biblical courtship is that it never leaves women unprotected. (RapeGod pg. 13)

Were Mr. Ear Tickles who we now suspect is a fememergent plant serious about reviewing this classic by Doug Wilson (Neo-Confederate rape-apologist) he would have already known that via Bible-based osmosis. Next his terrible review accuses Doug (Neo-Confederate rape-apologist) of disrespecting the God of the Bible.  How can this be—when Doug (Neo-Confederate rape-apologist) has spent his whole life defending Absolute Biblical Truth such as the Confederacy’s Divine Right to own slaves and commit Treason on account of States’ Rights.  Doug Wilson (Neo-Confederate rape-apologist) has more respect for the God of the Bible than quasi-Universalist mystic emergence guru Rob Bell and the once sex-obsessed Mark Driscoll combined. Here’s proof— later the book stated:

Male authority is an erotic necessity. In order to make love, a man must be hard and the woman soft. This is not just a physiological detail, but a metaphor for their whole relationship. Feminists, having demanded soft men, have discovered that it is beyond exasperating to be locked in a rape fantasy with some Caspar Milquetoast. Ravish me! she pleads with her eyes. Let’s go down to the aquarium, he says, and look at the endangered species exhibit. If you are going to go for soft, then another woman makes better sense. Lesbianism, it turns out, has an internal logic. (RapeGod pgs.142–143)

Next if one’s not willing to write God’s name out then one never believed in God to begin with (by the way God’s name is God as distinguished from other gods or a god like Allah). Also we caught Mr. Ear Tickle lying as he read the chapter titles—so much for not reading the book like a True Discernmentalist book-reviewer does. Here we agree with the ear-tickler to read the Bible but only if its an ODM-approved Bible such as the AV1611 King James or our Truth War Pope’s Glorious Study Bibles. Speaking of our Truth War that book is required reading for all True Truth Warriors—otherwise how will we know which truths of ours are always being attacked that we are called to ever-defend?

Before his concluding remarks Mr. Ear-Tickler mentions the Trinity without shewing how RapeGod by Doug Wilson (Semi-Arian slavery-apologist) defends the unBiblically unorthodox Orthodox Doctrine of Christ’s subordination to the Father in the Godhead just like a woman is subordinate to her father first and then her husband which is exactly nothing at all like the Arian heresy that Christ is subordinate to the Father in the Godhead. One final thought on RapeGod is Doug (Semi-Arian slavery-apologist)‘s warning from it’s epilogue which is why it is highly recommended by Discernmentalists:

Comes now some academic bloviation to help us all through whatever remaining prejudices we might have had about the molestation of children (HT: Baylyblog & Frank Turk). At issue is the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), which is still, even in these postmodern times, filled with hatred and outmoded forms of discriminatory malice. It appears that pedophilia and hebephilia are still listed as disorders, and boy, do we have some work to do! You know, addressing all that hatred.

For those just joining us, the days are coming when the only entry left in the DSM will be the then outlawed practice of intercourse in the missionary position by a heterosexual married couple.

Phoenix Considers ‘Sin Tax’ On Young, Restless & Reformed Churches

April 18, 2019

(From the front-lines of the Truth War)- Frequenters of Phoenix strip clubs aka Young, Restless & Reformed Church-goers might be paying a little more than usual in the future. That’s because of a potential “sin tax,” first proposed to the city government by John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) on Tuesday. The tax would be imposed on establishments including strip club, tattoo parlors, and escort services, and other places that the Young, Restless & Reformed Movement (YRR) frequent to hold their “church” services reported Phil Johnson of Hugh Jass News.

Our Research Robot Monkeys reached YRR Guru Mark Driscoll of Mars Hill Church for comment on this proposal—he said: “Rats….garbled language….*censored for filthy language*….now I may not be able to continue practicing my Pornographic Divination.”

Typical YRR heathen response: “Smoking and drinking are so much cooler than obeying the rules against such in the bible given to us by the Sovereign decrees of our God of wrath. Besides Spurgeon was a Christian hedonist too so he would be cool with us smoking doobies; drinking hooch and using locker room talk to prove how much cooler than our Ruling Elders and more countercultural than carnal Pagan we are.” Nonsense. That’s why we must be ever discernmentalizing and concernmentalizing. The Truth War still rages on.

Introducing The New Standard ODM Reformed Rating Meter

June 11, 2010

So how well do you rate on our Reformed Rating Scale?

Various Levels of Reformedness (not in order according to degree)

AR – Almost Reformed (has only heard of R. C. Sproul)
BR – Barely Reformed (has heard of R. C. Sproul and thought about buying some of his tapes)
CR – Critically Reformed (more negative than John MacArthur on the Charasmatic movement)
DR – Doubtfully Reformed (only attends this church for the music)
ER – Errantly Reformed (a Four Point Calvinist)
FR – Fantastically Reformed (owns a set of Calvin’s Commentaries)
GR – Grossly Reformed (the kid you would want your daughter to date but not marry)
HR – Hopefully Reformed (the kid you would want your daughter to marry for his money but you would keep his name on your prayer list)
IR – Incredibly Reformed (even the Session doesn’t believe half of what this guy believes)
LR – Loudly Reformed (maybe right, maybe wrong, but never in doubt)
MR – Mostly Reformed (watches football on Sunday afternoons with the family and reviews the Shorter Catechism during halftime)
NR – Newly Reformed (has recently begun attending a Reformed church and has had to buy a new bookshelf for all the additional reading material)
PR – Possibly Reformed (spoke up once at Bible Church and told to try the PCA)
SR – Staunchly Reformed (can quote limited sections of the Shorter Catechism and the Confession of Faith)
TR – Truly Reformed (has memorized the entire Shorter Catechism and can quote the Confession of Faith by chapter and section)