Archive for the ‘Johnny Mac—"that old lie of liberalism"’ Category

Gays join the Truth War against Feminists

June 10, 2019

 

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“I’m a gay man. I am not a feminist. There’s a shocking statement. How could any gay man not need, want, support, affirm feminism?

What I learned surprised me. I learned that feminism was not about equality. I learned about the feminist history of hatred toward gay men. And eventually, I learned that feminism was actively engaged in a campaign that was doing to all men what others have so often done to gay men: demonize them as sexual predators and abusers in the interests of their own power and their own ideology.

Feminism wasn’t about equality: It was about bigotry.”—Matthew Lye

We couldn’t hardly believe it when our Research Robot Monkeys stumbled upon this shocking statement. We’re so shocked we’re pressed for words. How can this be? Everyone knows that gays are liberals and that feminists are liberals too—and that all liberals love gays and feminists equally. Its part of their pledge to use the Trojan Horse of gay feminism to destroy the American church by legalizing the gay feminist agenda to turn men into effeminate weak gutlesss grace girlie-men. In fact when I showed this Researchmentalism for the very article I’m writing to my co-laborer in Discernmentalism—-Dr. I. Todyaso—he exclaimed: “I hate this but most importantly I hate myself for not knowing who to hate more—but then I thought to myself what would John MacArthur (PBUH) do? Why! Point out his finger of self-righteous judgment at both groups and hate them both equally.” On the one hand—we’d like to thank the gays for helping us hate the feminists more—on the other—we’d like to thank the feminists for helping us to hate the gays more. Even-so you’re not fooling any of us as you’re not really among us Truth Warriors.

Update: Rumor has it that Dr. I. Todyaso has gone into hiding somewhere deep within our Truth Bunker upon viewing this Researchmentalism—but I could’ve sworn I heard his distinctive voice in our ODM cafeteria late last night in the afterhours as I was getting a midnight snack.

An Update on an Update: We’re still under attack!!! by gay cartoon rats!!

May 17, 2019

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Extra Freaking Out Discernmentalist News: I would have written this on my original article but I didn’t want Mrs. Jobson to get suspicious again that I had fallen away and was looking up ghey furry porn sites. This is why I had to write a new article to bring you this important update and so that I didn’t have to look at the unholy horror of that sinful pic again. We also needed to test out Dr. I. Todyaso’s Fictional Gay Character Eraser so we are glad that we can use a *censored* photo this time as I was concerned my previous article with the uncensored pic was accidently turning our readers ghey by sight osmosis from all it’s gaydiation rays being emitted.

Anyways this is Update #4 I think: You know our fight in the Truth War against fictional gay cartoon rats is really heating up when Activist Mommy joins in. Quote:

It’s becoming nearly impossible to trust any children’s entertainment these days, with the pervasive themes of gender confusion and alternative sexual lifestyles wherever you look. It’s become vogue to set your show apart with the introduction of a gay character or gay kiss…even on shows for very young children.

This is not the first time the show Arthur has pushed the LGBT agenda.  In 2005, the show aired an episode called, “Postcards from Buster,” in which the titular character visits Vermont to learn about the maple syrup production process.  While he is there, he meets a few children who have lesbian moms. The word “lesbian” is not used in the episode just like the word “gay” is not used in the wedding episode.  There is not any actual explanation in either episode, just extremely suggestive imagery that is impossible to misinterpret.

Flying just low enough under the radar that most parents won’t find it worth standing up against, but evident enough to leave an impression on children.

Make no mistake, this is not an innocent attempt to promote love and acceptance.  This is blatant indoctrination aimed to break down our children’s developing moral foundations.

We as Christians can fight this assault on our children’s minds…

Thankfully you have Important ministries like ours to warn you of the Clear and present dangers of fictional gay characters like cartoon rats that will surely turn kids ghey instead of focusing on real issues like child abuse rampart in our churches. Why if we don’t continue to take a stand against fictional gay cartoon rats—real rats might get ideas and choose to be gay.

Update # 5: Sadly in having to quote from Activist Mommy’s article I accidently caught a glimpse of the Holy horror of the uncensored version of that sinful pic again while Mrs. Jobson was in the room and I’ve been banished to sleep on the couch in my study. (Editors’ Note: We’re horrified that Activist Mommy didn’t have the decency to release a censored version of that unholy pic with all it’s abominable filth like Don’s second article does).

Update # 6: Thankfully Mrs. Jobson agreed to a session of MacArthurite approved Bible-based counseling. Some of our staff are now locking Mrs. Jobson in a dark room and screaming and yelling Bible verses at her until she agrees to resubmit to the Divine Authority of my Male Headship. Thank our Angry Sovereign God it worked and she now knows her place once more!

JMac caught preaching unBiblically

May 16, 2019

We almost couldn’t believe our eyes—could it really be that the Pope of all Truth has erred? Proof:

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We almost forgot for a moment that our Pope is exempt from following the Doctrines he places over others. The evangelical culture—including churches and religious media—has for years moved away from preaching. Some experts claim there is nothing sacred about traditional preaching, so why not change to please the tastes of society? Wouldn’t congregations be better served by methods more in step with the times?

While that rationale may sound spiritual and completely reasonable, it actually puts churches on precarious ground. The potential for disaster is real. You need to be concerned. And as our Pope himself preaches that the only True mode of preaching is Expository not Topical:

You know, one of the things that’s become apparent to me as you just kind of keep your ear to the ground and watch what’s going on in terms of theology today is that expositors never come out of institutions with a low view of Scripture…never. Liberals make terrible Bible expositors…in fact, they don’t make them at all simply because they do not believe there’s anything significant about the terms, so why bother to deal with the terms. But it isn’t only the liberals that concern me in that dimension, I think that even evangelicals and fundamentalists have the same problem. We would say that liberals attack the authority of Scripture in a head-on attack. They deny it. They want to deal with a different level of inspiration, whether it’s the inspiration of someone’s thought or whether it’s the existential approach that if it zaps you somewhere then that’s inspired for you, or whatever approach they take that’s less than verbal plenary inspiration. The result of all of that is that there are no real significances attached to the terms themselves, so they don’t bother to deal in an expository manner. They talk in broad generalities.

But it’s amazing to me also that even evangelicals do the same thing. Recently I, and I’ve done this a couple of times, but when I was giving some messages along this line to a group of pastors, I said “The liberals attack the Bible by denying its truth,” you know, and you can hear the “amens” ripple across the room. And I said, “And then the people who have sort of flipped out on the experiential end and on the Charismatic end and have taken those things to excess, they come along and say…Well, Jesus said to me…or I had a vision…or God spoke to me…or the Lord showed me what this meant.” And what they’re doing really is adding their own experience, their own revelations, their own visions to the Bible and in so doing that they undermine the authority of Scripture, too, and it becomes just as important to for them to teach their experiences as it does to teach the Bible. And so, the purity of expository preaching is watered down. And also what invariably happens is in that particular movement you wind up with a tremendous freedom to use the Bible almost as a creative instrument, it’s almost like a paint brush. You can use it to paint anything you want. You can make verses say whatever you want them to say. You can be very fanciful. You can be very allegorical because your experiences and your feelings and your emotions and your intuitions and your visions and your revelations are substantively the equivalent of Scripture.

And then you have, of course, the evangelical and the fundamental people who would die for the absolute authority of Scripture but they get up week after week in their pulpits and never delineate its principles. And in my judgment, that’s the worst of all because to him that knoweth to do good and doeth it not, to him it is sin. I mean, we know that every word is pure, right? And if we don’t deal in an expository manner with the Word of God, then we’re denying the precept of the Bible itself, that it is in fact in every word the Word of God. And so the greater sin is at the door of the evangelical who affirms this high view of Scripture but number one, doesn’t believe that he should be involved in an expository ministry, or number two, is involved in exposition in a superficial non-diligent way. You can’t treat Scripture like that. If you’re going to do it, you’ve got to get in and be diligent.

We’re surprised the Mighty Hugh Jass Phil Johnson hasn’t covered up this mistake of our inerrant Pope like when he attacked his Truth. Even the late Ken Silva almost turned against the Pope of the Truth War. So remember to preach expositionally instead of topically like Spurgeon preached unless of course you’re the Pope over Truth.

Holding all to the Standard of their Doctrines,

Don Jobson

 

Dr. I. Todyaso of ODMafia fame called to fact check Babylon Bee

May 7, 2019

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Daily Bunker ODMs Express— Our very own Dr. I. Todyaso named Head Researcher and Fact Checker for Babylon Bee after they pledged to support us in being #1 in Absolute Truth; Alt-facts; journalism and Fake News in Discernmentalism. Quote: “We look forward to our new partnership in helping us spread our Truth War Pope’s Absolute Truth (PBUI) to more people and helping us fight the good fight in lying; slandering as well as falsely accusing others of heresy by spreading misinformation and made up quotes about them. Before the Babylon Bee there was only us and our mentor the late Ken Silva—we were lone voices in the wilderness calling out all those sliding off the True Path set before us by Calvin; purified by the Puritans and perfected by our Pope John MacArthur (PBUH). We’d like to think we taught the Bee everything we know.”—Dr. I. Todyaso of the Online Discernmentalist Mafia.

Will this match be made in heaven? We can only hope so as more people need to be exposed to the Purity of Discernmentlism’s Doctrines. Certainly the Babylon Bee and the ODMafia share the same sense of humor Doctrinal Clarity in common as this news report of theirs makes clear:

John MacArthur, pastor of Grace Community Church and president of The Master’s College and Seminary, has made a lofty promise to his congregation. He has reportedly committed to building a 20-foot thick, 30-foot high concrete wall around the entire perimeter of the church campus in order to keep out charismatics that might otherwise infiltrate their ranks.

“I will build a great wall, God willing. And I’ll build it very biblically. I will build a great, great wall all around our campus—and I’ll make the Pentecostals pay for it. Mark my words,” MacArthur was quoted as saying Friday.

—Tyrone V. Hoofendorfer for the Online Discernmentalist Mafia on Daily Bunker ODMs Express.

Sports Illustrated succumbs to Sharia Law

May 1, 2019

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“Discernment is not knowing the difference between right and wrong. It is knowing the difference between right and almost right.”—-Charles Spurgeon

Attention Truth Warriors: Sports Illustrated has fallen. Political correctness has forced Sports Illustrated to come under the control of Sharia Law against our most Biblical and Godly President’s Clear Teachings:

“We have to straighten out our country, we have to make our country great again, and we need energy and enthusiasm,” Trump said during an appearance on “Meet the Press” in August 2015. “And this political correctness is just absolutely killing us as a country. You can’t say anything. Anything you say today, they’ll find a reason why it’s not good.”

We can’t stand for this good Christian American magazine dedicated to sports enthusiasts to remain in the hands of these politically correct invaders polluting our True Judeo-Christian American Values. What’s next? Will our good Christian American magazine dedicated to the study of women and educational interviews also fall under the loony libs political correctness and Islamist terroristic Sharia Law? Sheer heresy. Soon these jihadists will be forcing all our women to wear these travesties everywhere destroying our God-given Freedom in our Constitution. Don’t these loonies know that America is a Christian Nation?

This is more proof that Liberals ruin everything and that a Shadow Government is trying to help them destroy our Christian Nation. Many of our readers think our discernmentalism to be rather alarmist but consider this:

One day, you are in your house when there is a loud and frantic-sounding knock on the front door. You go to the door, open it, and standing there is your clearly upset neighbor shouting, “There’s a fire on the way, heading right for your house.” You push the neighbor aside, go outside, and climb a ladder onto the roof. And sure enough, you see a big fire heading right toward your house. But you think to yourself as you are climbing back down the ladder, “I don’t really like that neighbor, and I definitely don’t like the way he was ranting and raving at me. And he’s always so negative about everything. I just don’t like him at all.” So you go back inside your house, close the door, and continue on with your day.”

This is exactly what is happening with so many Christians today – the authors and editors at the  ODMafia and God’s Only Inerrant Party are trying to warn of the danger and deception that has come into the church and our Country, but we are often brushed off as too negative and being against everything. It doesn’t make any sense to ignore these warnings. In case you doubt my expertise on this subject—I once knew someone who once knew someone who knew someone who kept the dog for someone who visited England where they met someone who read an anonymous Internet comment on some Conservative website that proves Muslims are trying to bring America under control of Sharia Law. This makes me more of an expert on the subject of Islam than anyone else including actual Muslims. Also just like that someone I once knew:

“I myself have been a forty-five year student of the satanically inspired, centuries-old conspiracy to use government, education, and media to destroy every vestige of Christianity within our society and establish a new world order. Having read at least fifty books on the Illuminati, I am convinced that it exists and can be blamed for many of man’s inhumane actions against his fellow man during the past two hundred years.”

Spread the Conspiracy,

Don Jobson

Brian McLaren declares the Kingdom of God is here and now!

April 27, 2019

Absolute Truth from the Pope of our Truth War (PBUH)

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I just read Brian McLaren and the Gospel of Here & Now by Greg Gilbert and he points out that Brian Mclaren is preaching a Gospel that states that the Kingdom is “Here and Now”.

And I say how perverse of a Gospel is that!?! We know that the Truly Anointed Preacher/Pastor/Teacher/ of the Only True and Faithful Gospel, John MacArthur states the Kingdom is “only spiritual now and will come in the future” which is stated in the video post at CRN. Listen carefully as he carefully picks apart Brian and then sets us all straight that “the Kingdom of God is not here and now” but “in the future and only spiritual” and is all about getting people into heaven.

How dare anyone pervert the gospel and say we should live as Kingdom people here and now. These “emergents” and their sick social (we want justice) gospel that wants to feed the…

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Breaking News: Our Ex-Leader Deposed!

April 26, 2019

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Spreading the ODM Gospel of fear and militarism! at Ron Luce’s Battle Cry training camps for Truth Warriors.

“This is a real war… I want an attacking church.” – Ron Luce

In case you are wondering we had to renounce our ex-fuhrer for sliding into  the apostasy of the sissified Evanjellyfish weak wimpy gutless grace girlymen: “…(Ron) Luce painted himself as the victim in an interview with Christianity Today: “I guess we’re guilty of reaching as many kids as we could, thinking our business model was sound.”” You hear that weak gutless spineless response—we would expect that from crybaby liberal snowflakes but  A True Man of God in our Truth War would never feel victimized:

…I don’t know if you’re interested in boxing. It’s a…it’s far…it’s the sort of last most barbaric holdover from the past where you pound people’s brains senseless. It’s amazing with all of the things that people scream about in our society…don’t eat potato chips and things like that…that somebody doesn’t rise up and call a halt to people bashing each other’s brains in on purpose. But as brutal as it is, boxers fight with leather gloves padded to cushion the blow. You should know that, in the days of the New Testament, Greek boxers had fur-lined gloves. There was just a little fur and leather, no padding. They were made generally of ox hide. And stitched into the glove at the knuckles was lead and iron. When Paul talks about fighting the good fight, he’s talking about some serious action. And in a Greek boxing match, the loser had his eyes gouged out as emblematic of his failure.Boxing, to us, is not what it was then. It was a death/life struggle. Serious conflict from which you could emerge dead or lifetime blind. I just don’t think the church understands that. I…I met with the pastor of the largest seeker friendly church, and he said to me, “You know what your problem is MacArthur? You need to lighten up.” And I smiled. I said, “It’s really hard to do in the middle of war.” Fight the good fight. It is a good fight, isn’t it? It’s a noble fight. To fight against the kingdom of darkness with the truth. The only weapon we have is the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God, right?

And I think that’s one of the serious problems today, is people aren’t taking the battle as seriously as they have to take it. And He helps us with that. “Fight the good fight of faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you are called.” What does that phrase mean? He simply means this: Get a grip on the fact that you’re dealing with eternal issues. How can you treat the ministry shallow……in shallow terms? How can you treat it trivially? This is war, and eternity is at stake. “You knew that…He says in verse 12…when you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses. You knew that when you confessed Christ, when we were all there gathered.” He’s probably referring to His ordination when the elders laid hands on Him and set Him apart from the ministry. “You confessed at that time that this was a mater of eternal issues. You’re not just slapping people around with some puffy gloves here. This is a life and death matter. Get a grip on it.”

A True Man of God would never run as we are suppose to keep up our good fight in victimizing others fighting for our Truth and the purity of our Doctrines. After all this is the Truth War and we must keep fighting so that we can feel persecuted by ourselves win the war against liberals; Emergents; globalists; socialists; Evanjellyfish and our many enemies of our Truth. What happened to the Ron who stood in the greatness of our militant dogma?  For shame—what happened to this Ron?:

BattleCry Philadelphia was more than just a vulgar carnival designed to suck donations into the coffers of Ron Luce’s corporation “Teen Mania”. Indeed, it had a point, to recruit the future elite “warriors” in the coming battle against the separation of church and state. It turned dark and frightening on Saturday afternoon. After Franklin “Islam is a Wicked Religion” Graham came out to thunder against the evils of homosexuality and the Iraqi people (whom he considers to be exactly the same people as the ancient Babylonians who enslaved the tribes of Israel and deserving, one would assume, the exact same fate) we heard an explosion. Flames shot out on stage and a team of Navy Seals was shown on the big TV monitors in full camouflage creeping forward down the hallway from the locker room with their M16s. They were hunting us, the future Christian leaders of America. Two teenage girls next to me burst into tears and even I, a jaded middle-aged male, almost jumped out of my skin. I imagined for that moment what it must have felt like to have been a teacher at Columbine high school. 10 seconds later they rushed out onstage and pointed their guns in our direction firing blanks spitting flames. About 1000 shots and bang, we were all dead.

What would our most Biblical and most Godly President ever say? What would the late great Pastor-Teacher to the Internet Congregation to the True Remnant of ODM Truth Warriors think?…in fact we already know as my co-warrior in our Truth War Dr. Itodyaso wrote the other day “he is rolling over in his grave.” Thankfully we came under the leadership of a True MAN OF GOD years ago even before Ron Luce was dethroned—who has led us to higher standards of godliness and self-righteousness in protecting our Pure Doctrines and militant dogmas—that True Man of God is the Pope of our Truth War aka John MacArthur (PBUH).

New Life Form Possibly Found on Saturn’s Biggest Moon

April 25, 2019

Editors’ Note: Ken’s race of ODMs live on even-though Ken passed on a soldier fallen in battle in our Truth War 

 

Ken Silva may have passed on—blessed be his memory but his race of Super Secret ODMs  still live on. He is still a leader in our hearts with his ever-apprising ways. We pledged allegiance to help Ken in his fight against Truth for Truth  in support of our Pope John MacArthur (PBUH)’s Truth War to divide the church with unite the church around our Doctrine. United we still stand with or without one of our beloved leaders—able to judgmentalize and discernmentalize all those who stand against us in our ministry of division Truth. Here we stand because we’re always Right.

Behold: The One World Religion Is Born….

April 23, 2019

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Breaking Discernmentalists Profits4Me News— The anti-Christ and a terrorist engage in ghey buttsecks against our clear teachings on its icky-ness—-bringing us one step closer to Rick Warren’s Purpose Driven New World Order. As you may have forgotten we’ve already apprised you of the quasi-ecumenical semi-pelagian purpose-driven emergence guru Rick Warren’s plans to take over Christianity and make it Purpose-Driven against our clear teachings that life must be as purposeless and terrible as possible:

In researching this article, I had to read Warren for long periods of time.  This was difficult for me.  I found his material disturbing.  To cleanse my mind from Warren’s continual assaults on my thinking I took breaks to read John MacArthur’s Hard To Believe.  MacArthur got my mind and heart back on the gospel and away from me (where Warren keeps wanting to put it). Let me do the same for my readers.  Listen to MacArthur’s version of what to do with “YOU”:

Jesus set the standard as total self-denial. …Self-hate? What a powerful truth!  . . . Following Jesus is about our being sick of ourselves and our desperation for forgiveness (MacArthur: 10).

MacArthur points us to the clear teachings of Jesus, not some questionable idea that a “life metaphor” determines our destiny.  We need to die to self, not discover self.

Warren would have us believe that something is furry, meow’s, has four legs, and likes to chase mice, but is not a cat. He tells us that his book is not about “you” and then spends over three hundred pages making it about you, over and over. This doesn’t just look like self-help, read like self-help, sound like self-help and feel like self-help, it is self-help and it is about you. That doesn’t help me. I need the gospel to solve my sin problem.  I don’t need Warren aphorisms—and certainly not thousands of them.

And we also apprised you on the anti-Christ and the seeker-sensitive purpose driven New World Order which will bring about a One World Religion which we must apprise you on now:

The document, signed by Pope Francis and the Grand Imam of al-Azhar, Ahmed el-Tayeb, was prepared “with much reflection and prayer”, the Pope said. The one great danger at this moment, he continued, is “destruction, war, hatred between us.”

“If we believers are not able to shake hands, embrace one another, kiss one another, and even pray, our faith will be defeated,” he said. The Pope explained that the document “is born of faith in God who is the Father of all and the Father of peace; it condemns all destruction, all terrorism, from the first terrorism in history, that of Cain.”

There is a lot of language about peace in this document, but it goes way beyond just advocating for peace.

Over and over again, the word “God” is used to simultaneously identify Allah and the God of Christianity.

We must say we are not shocked but still appalled as we have been apprising you on this Emergent seeker-driven new-age agenda for years. Now back to apprising you on how Rick Warren plans to employ his seeker-driven one world religion:

Certainly the world is all about solving its problems without the God of the Bible. Yet many professing Christians are rushing to remedy the world’s troubles in ways that are without the support of Scripture, some even in contradiction to what the Scriptures teach. Rick Warren’s global P.E.A.C.E. plan is one of many programs and teachings that, for the most part, cannot be reconciled with God’s prophetic Word. It is Warren’s “50-year plan” to cure global issues such as “pandemic diseases, extreme poverty, illiteracy, corruption, global warming, [and] spiritual emptiness” (see http://www.thebereancall.org). He claims that his social-works agenda developed from his reading of the Gospels–that Jesus gave him the model that was the antidote to the five biggest problems on the planet (see http://www.thebereancall.org). Warren subsequently expanded that model from an exclusive endeavor of Christianity to one requiring the support of all religions.

This is why we must ever keep apprising you on the heretical new age Emergent purpose-driven peace agenda. Abominable are they who work towards a One World Religion through promoting peace and the brotherhood of man.

Praise Our Angry God: Easter Worshippers Aren’t TRUE CHRISTIANS!

April 22, 2019

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Thank our Angry God and his  commendable hatred for continually pouring down His satisfied wrath (that He already poured down on Jesus in our place) upon our enemies against our war on Truth Truth War. We most mightily thank humble Discermentalist ministries in divisionism like ‘s for bringing our Clear Teachings to all who should bow down to us and our Pure Doctrines: “The worst part about this tragedy is that the vast majority of these victims are likely facing eternal judgment in hell where they were pre-damned to right now. The last thing they need is affirmation of their idolatrous system of worship.”

We who are True Bible-Believing Sola-Scripturist Conservatives affirm what the Westminster Confession not the Bible says: “There is no other head of the Church but the Lord Jesus Christ; nor can the Pope of Rome, in any sense, be head thereof; but is that Antichrist, that man of sin, and son of perdition, that exalts himself, in the Church, against Christ and all that is called God.”—against all man-made unbiblical doctrines and traditions. For as Pope Pyro I aka John MacArthur (PBUH) not the Bible says:

In today’s spirit of ecumenism, many evangelicals have called for the Protestant Church to lay aside its differences with Rome and pursue unity with the Catholic Church. Is that possible? Is Roman Catholicism simply another facet of the body of Christ that should be brought into union with its Protestant counterpart? Is Roman Catholicism simply another Christian denomination?

While there are many errors in the teaching of the Catholic Church (for example its belief in the transubstantiation of the communion wafer and its view of Mary), two rise to the forefront and call for special attention: its denial of the doctrine of sola Scriptura and its denial of the biblical teaching on justification. To put it simply, because the Roman Catholic Church has refused to submit itself to the authority of God’s Word and to embrace the gospel of justification taught in Scripture, it has set itself apart from the true body of Christ. It is a false and deceptive form of Christianity.

We  are also thankful for our angry Sovereign God sending fire to destroy perverted pagan places of worship that pervert our Pure Gospel. We pray that His gracious loving wrath might smite more grace-hating man-loving reprobates hip and thigh. Which is why we must take a stand against all those who dare take a stand against us:

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Besides that Lutherans aren’t Calvinistic enough  to be True Christians and as we all know because Saint Charles Spurgeon (PBUH) not the Bible told us so: “Calvinism (not Jesus) is the Gospel!” Our Research Robot Monkeys noted that Luther observed Easter against our clear teachings of its pagan catholic origins—but enough about Easter lets get back to TRUE BIBLE DOCTRINES like our American Gospel of CAPITALIISM.