Archive for the ‘Jerks For Jesus’ Category

We Support Religious Liberty!

October 5, 2011

Why support Religious Liberty and the Separation of Church and State when you can do the complete opposite! Support us and our Alliance Defense Fund.

We stand for “real” Religious Liberty:

Among other “Religious Liberty” issues.  * – And by Christians, we mean only those who hold to a Strict interpretation of Orthodox 5-point Dortian Calvinism. Since Mary-worshipping Papists, Arminianist free-will idolaters, Lutherans, anaBaptists, Greeks and other non-Reformed churches are Semi-Pelagian, they are all non-Christian religions—because they reject the “True Gospel.”

We “poor” Christian majority are tired of being  discriminated against in our own Country—remember this Great Nation was founded upon “Christian principles” and that all of our Founding Fathers were “good Bible-Believing Calvinists” especially Thomas Jefferson and James Madison. It’s time we do something and take back our Religious Liberty: to spread more Partisan politics and hate.

For decades, the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) and other radical anti-Christian groups have been on a mission to eliminate public expression of our nation’s faith and heritage. By influencing the government, filing lawsuits, and spreading the myth of the so-called “separation of church and state,” the opposition has been successful at forcing its leftist agenda on Americans.

Their targeted attacks on religious freedom are more serious and widespread than you may realize. In courtrooms and schoolrooms, offices and shops, public buildings and even churches…those who believe in God are increasingly threatened, punished, and silenced.

Help us take a stand for “true” Religious Liberty and support God’s Only Inerrant Party in 2012: vote Brannon Howse/Michael Reagan!

(Issac Backus and Roger Williams be damned!)

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New Quick And Painless Way

June 27, 2011

To Remove Jesus From Your Heart:

Have you ever asked Jesus into your heart? What about accepting Jesus as the Lord and Savior of your life? Or receiving Jesus to fill your God-shaped hole? Is Jesus more important to you than any other religious leader? If you answered yes to any of the following—congratulations you’re not even a Real and True Christian and most likely worship Satan, the Pope or Mary as your dark lord and master a False Convert.

If you have found that you were rated a False Convert—never fear Todd Friel with Brannon Howse’s help have introduced a new quick and pain-free way to reverse your status and make sure that you become a True Convert this time around. Introducing the new surgical procedure to surgically remove Jesus from False Converts’ hearts: Operation JesuScopic Surgery! Why let Jesus fool around in your heart when you can have your heart filled with the Puritan Hard Drive (PHD)—now with twice the amount of John Owen’s fatalistic arrogance!

Jerks For Jesus (Our Valued Patrons) Judgmentalize Japan

March 16, 2011

 

Did Japan deserve the tsunami, specifically, and the painful afterplay?  No way, no how.  Japan deserves far worse.  Japan is a pagan, idolatrous, perverted nation full of pagan, idolatrous, perverted people.  Perverted, pagan idolatry is sin, and sin must be punished.  God will not be patient with sin and sinners forever.  Comparably-minor judgments like these are mere foreshadowings and tastes of the judgment to come.  I believe that the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor was a sin as well, in and of itself, and as such deserves punishment and judgment.  Even if the attack were justified, it is impossible to argue that it was carried out with 100% pure motives and in 100% pure ways. —Rhoblogy

We are so proud of our faithful student Rhoblogy—why he is almost the judgmentalist that we are and we are twice the judgementalists than Ken Silva yet not quite the judgmentalists that Sharin’ Whiplash is. Rhoblogy is so astute in his judgmentalism that he sets standards that would even confound our great and affectionate Uncle the great and all-powerful Pastor-Teacher to the Internet congregation of the True Remnant himself.

We agree with Rhoblogy for as Todd Friel’s pal has said echoing John MacArthur’s Pure Truth War Doctrines©®™:

A simple reading of the Bible shows how God uses natural disasters to further his purposes. Earthquakes, floods, famine, locusts, etc. they’re all there, but man hates it. Rather than humbly acknowledging that God’s ways are not our ways, man rails against and accuses God. The last thing they will do is cry out for his mercy in Jesus Christ.

We also like Rhoblogy are no friends of sinners or the Japanese for as Al Mohler says: “God hates sin/sinners, and will punish both individual sinners and nations.”—therefore we also hate sickos, perverts, reprobate nations, sinners and people in general unless they are just like us or believe exactly like us in the same way that we do (except on rare occaisions when we must discernmentalize ourselves and other Discernmentalists).

It’s The Most Satanic Time of the Year.

December 24, 2010

Christmas….Bah Humbug. Christ-mass and Easter are blasphemous fables of the Whore of Babylon (the Roman Catholic Church) and the Anti-Christ  (the Pope). Our resident Grinch and Puritanazi Scrooge has blessed us with another insightful message this year. Note:  Sharon M. Whitley: “Btw, if you want to see a large, lavish Christmas display in a mall… go to Dubai in the UAE! Many countries that are not Christian celebrate this holiday. That right there should tell Christians it’s not of God!”

I mean why should we celebrate an unbiblical holiday like Christmas as the reprobated pagan heathens and Catholics do. I mean it’s not like the Bible ever says: “For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.” Now we demand that you go out and spend more money so that you can support something Truly Biblical like war and Capitalism. Now excuse me while I go out and sprinkle some more infants using a Trinitarian formula after preaching on the Augustinian doctrine of double predestination and a limited atonement and then later go attend a church wedding.

P. S. Also remember to support our Truth War against German Lutherans.

The New FemEmergent-Male

November 3, 2010

Brannon Howse has shocking proof that we are under attack by Femi-Marxists. Howse in a state of euphoric discernmentalism has written an article entitled: “Feminism is Anti-Family, Anti-Father, and Encourages the Feminization of the American Male.” In it Howse has stated: “If “tolerance” is the core value of political correctness, feminism is its most cherished cause, and the implications of our cultural devotion to feminism are monstrous. Feminism is not about equal rights for women but about the feminization of the American male, an ideology that is anti-family and anti-father-and virtually guaranteed to bring about the wholesale destruction of the American family.

We of the GOIP/OD Mafia agree as we have seen this evidence first hand. Our Research Robot Monkeys have caught the Emergent Church plotting their Femi-Marxist agendas to destroy our Pure Godly American values and patriarchal lifestyles. This is nothing new as Phil Johnson aka Hugh Jass is on record as saying that ”The typical Evangelical Church has become Weak and Womanly.” If those evil Emergents have their way soon the whole world will become weak and womanly as Jan Markell observes about Emergent teachings:

In many Bibles, all the words of Jesus are in red. There is nothing wrong with that. But something is wrong when Leftist Christians or so-called Christians want to mute the words of Paul and other writers and only follow Jesus’ words. They call themselves “red-letter Christians.” They feel it is convenient to blot out the words of Paul on homosexuality and focus in on the good deeds Jesus talks about. Most are pacifists who reject an “eye for an eye” (Leviticus 24:19-20). They focus on Jesus’ words about helping the poor, ministering to “the least of these” (Matthew 25:40), loving our enemies, etc. That justifies abandoning hundreds, even thousands of condemning verses in the Bible they choose to wish away. That makes homosexuality OK and war wrong! And remember, Paul and the others in the Bible represent Jesus’ words. They were His spokesmen. Some who believe this way practice a form of neo-Marxism and others would call it “Christian Marxism” — an oxymoron if there ever was one. They note that the early church shared everything (socialism). A close cousin to this is “liberation theology.”

Truly horrifying—here is what The New FemEmergent-Masculinty looks like and it is not pleasing to God:

Brannon Howse in defense of our Godly Patriarchical American Values further quips: “Whether people admit it or not, it is evident that there are God-ordained roles for men and for women-each complementing the other. This is what makes a great marriage great-the different and sometimes opposite but complementary gifts, abilities, insight, and interests of each spouse.”  And:

The bottom line is that feminism has been a tool of the humanists to destroy the family. Leading humanist Paul Kurtz said, “Humanism and feminism are inextricably interwoven.”[12] Humanists and Communists have sought the destruction of the American family because they know that, for America, the family has been the instrument for passing on Christian values and a Biblical worldview-the source and foundation of our freedoms and Constitutional Republic.

Brannon Howse Exposes Richard Land’s New World Order

October 5, 2010

Item #1 on Brannon Howse’s New World Order Agenda plans for fellow Discernmentalists is to discernmentalize the following groups of people and their unbiblical *(note: anti-American) agendas: Marxists, Muslims, Mormons, Globalists, and Richard Land of the Southern Baptist Convention.

“Sadly,” notes Brannon Howse (our beloved Führer); “I believe the Southern Baptist Convention’s Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission headed by Richard Land is being used to push radically unbiblical, politically correct, and anti-American agendas. As a member of a solid, Bible teaching SBC church, I am very concerned about Land’s activities. However, I think even those that are not a member of an SBC church should be concerned since Land is speaking as an evangelical.”

Reasons why we all must now take a stand in God’s Absolute Sovereign Wrath by supporting  Brannon Howse’s Truth War against Richard Land of the Southern Baptist Convention’s Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission:

  • He’s recently and slowly joined the Axis of Evil—we have Absolute Proof:
  • He’s aided the terrorists as Land Endorsed the U.S. Muslim Engagement Project and is helping to build Mosques
  • He’s too soft on Emergent and Red Letter Christian heretics as Land endorsed a book by Radical Jim Walls
  • He’s a closet postmodern universalist/pluralistic ecumenist for Land gives credibility to Mormonism
  • He is for illegal aliens invading our hallowed God-blessed land as (Richard) Land promotes Obama’s amnesty agenda
  • He is for the Antichrist and the Antichrist’s New One World Religous Government and Economy (NWO) for Land gives credibility to global governance

How you can help aid Brannon Howse as a Discernmentalist and Truth Warrior:

While there may be a few liberal “Christians” that applaud Land as he gives credibility to globalism, ecumenicalism, Mormonism, Neo-Marxism, amnesty and Islam; I know many conservative, Bible-believing Christians are eagerly waiting for a swift and Biblical response by SBC leaders to Mr. Land’s unbiblical and unequally yoked spiritual endeavors. I have had several SBC pastors express their concern to me about Mr. Land’s activities. In fact, many SBC pastors and members have requested this article so they might distribute it to other SBC pastors and members in hopes Land can be stopped from using his position, the SBC name, and SBC funds to give credibility to these radical causes.

We all must now band together at once as people of different denominational and faith backgrounds in the tradition of Worldview Weekend to take a stand against Richard Land and his apostasy from Brannon Howse’s One World Fascist American Theocratic Agenda Absolute Biblical Truth and his treasonous behavior towards the American Gospel.

Brian McLaren’s Newest Sinister Plot Revealed

August 25, 2010

Ken Silva Retorts– In a recent post Brian McLaren has revealed to us that he plans to build a 13 story Emergent mosque complete with a shopping center, Starbucks coffee shop, an olympic sized swimming pool among other modern conveniences. Ken Silva says that this doesn’t surprise him as he has already “apprised” to the world that Brian has celebrated the pagan Islamic holiday of Ramadan. Ken fears that these are the last days when more and more apostates fall to the winds of false and ear-tickling doctrines in an attempt to eradicate John MacArthur’s Absolute Biblical Truth.

Not only has Brian’s latest plans struck fear into the very core of Ken Silva’s heart and soul and being—his plans have stirred up controversy among the Online Discernmentalist Community as not only does Brian plan on dedicating his Purpose-Driven Emergent Seeker-Sensitive mosque to Anne Rice. He also plans on building this Emergent travesty near one of the most sacred, hallowed and holiest sites among all Christo-Fascist Truth Warriors—Ronald Reagan’s Birthplace.

Eric Barger says that we all must Take A Stand against this—quote: “Everything I’ve needed to know about ( the Emergent Church and) Islam I learned on 9/11.”  Brannon Howse and Todd Friel are already planning an anti-Glenn Beck, anti-Social Justice and anti-Brian McLaren mosque Rally in the works. Keeping you apprised this is GOIP and OD Mafia News signing off…

 

Blessed Are The Warmongers: America’s Actions Should Never Be Questioned!

July 26, 2010

 

“In our days more than ever before we notice an astonishing misuse of the sermon on the mount. The saddest of all is that many preachers of various evangelical denominations fall back upon it as the most important document of Christendom; for them it seems to become more and more the Gospel, and the consequences are that we hear in our times more ethical preaching, more about becoming better, doing good, improving your better self, etc., than ever before. It would require much time and a great deal of space to show up all the errors which are springing from this application. It is the Gospel of works and evolution. And as this is done there is less preaching of the utter corruption of man, his lost condition and utter helplessness to be righteous (that which the discourse makes very clear), and the salvation of God in our Lord Jesus Christ, the absolute necessity of being born again, the reception of eternal life, the new nature. As the teachings of the Epistle to the Romans have been and are being abandoned in Christendom, the false application of the discourse here in Matthew has been taken up. There is therefore a continual increase of teaching about lifting man out of his lost place into a better sphere by means of ethical teachings taken from the sermon on the mount. This is done under the garb of a social Christianity, union of worshipers (?), the Fatherhood of God and the brotherhood of man. . . Surely, if evangelical preachers continue to progress in this awful direction by substituting ethical teachings for salvation by the precious blood of the Lord Jesus Christ, and declare, as not a few have done, that the sermon on the mount is a large enough Bible for us, a general apostasy from the faith will soon be reached.” 

Arno C. Gaebelein, The Gospel of Matthew, pages 107-108. 

Blessed are the warmongers for they shall inherit the Kingdom of God through violent force. War and violence are always just and right but only when they’re America’s wars for God approves of every action ever done by America especially if it’s done all in the name of Right Wing Conservative Constantinian Christian Theocratic Dominionism. God surely approves of: 

  • Manifest Destiny
  • Ethnic Cleansing
  • Relocation of Idigineous peoples
  • Infringement of Personal Liberties
  • Genocide
  • Stealing other people’s property
  • Capitalistic greed
  • Socialistic totalitarianism
  • CIA-enforced terrorism
  • Cherry-picked support of dictators
  • Dominionistic Constantinian Caesaropapism
  • Illegal invasions of other people’s countries
  • Oppression
  • Repression
  • Dehumanizing those who are created in the image of God
  • CIA-backed assassinations of democratically elected political leaders of other countries
  • Violations of Human Rights
  • Segregation
  • Imperialism
  • Wars of Aggression
  • Wars of Attrition
  • Injustice
  • Collateral Damage
  • Racism
  • Discrimination
  • Social unrest
  • Unquestioned support of violence

Surely you can see why America’s actions should never be questioned for America always does the will of God. We are never wrong as we are always on the side of God—being God’s most blessed, most favored and holiest nation chosen and frozen by God. America’s self-interests= God’s self-interests; America= the good guys, anyone who disagrees with us= the bad guys; we are God’s friends, our enemies are God’s enemies. Anyone who doesn’t think like us is an Abomination.’ 

Get it—got it—good because we told you so—so blindly submit unto our ways or else. Thankfully we have the mighty Discernmentalist Truth War ministries of Eric Barger’s Take A Stand Ministries, Jan Markell’s Olive Tree Ministries Bob Jones and John MacArthur to defend the Absolute Truth of our American Gospel and the Absolute Sovereignty of America over and against the Lordship of Jesus Christ: 

Maybe we need to go back to the Bible and see what the Bible actually says. In the Old Testament God tells Israel to go to war against Amalek, tells Saul to go in there and destroy the Amalekites because they were a blight on humanity. God told the children of Israel to go into the land, destroy the Canaanites. The Canaanites used to bury a living baby in a jar in a wall when they built a house or a building as a offering to the gods. There are wars of protection. There are wars of just retribution and just punishment and then there are wars of evil aggression. 

Remember we are never the aggressors; we are always the defenders of God, His Truth and our God-Ordained Way of Life. Also remember these Pure Words from our American Gospels: “You shall not murder except in illegal invasions and wars of imperial aggression for the sake of Big oil corporations and collateral damage. My kingdom is of this world so fight and kill for My sake; I am the Lord your God. You shall not commit idolatry except for when you wrap the American flag around the Bible. Every tongue shall confess America as Lord and bow the knee to Her flag.” 

America’s True Founders

July 4, 2010

This July 4th remember the True Founders of America by buying our new Bible based on the American Gospel. Who are America’s True Founders you may ask? Well  the answer should be simple right:

 Which of these writers influenced the political philosophy and origins of the founding documents of the United States of America:  President Thomas Jefferson, John Calvin, and/or Saint Thomas Aquinas? Easy, right?  The answer is President Thomas Jefferson.   You know, Jefferson, the author of the Declaration of Independence, and one of the many founders who threw off the religious tyranny of then-England and safeguarded the separation of church and state in our government. WRONG!  If you are one of the 80% of  students in the U.S.A. who will be reading textbooks published in Texas, you wouldn’t know that President Thomas Jefferson is a writer who influenced the intellectual origins of our nation.    Instead, you will be taught that Protestant “reformer” John Calvin  and medieval-minded, pre-rational-thinking Catholic Saint Thomas Aquinas are the true influences upon our nation’s founding documents. 

By buying Our Pure Bible you’ll support our cause and learn these True Facts and more:

The Patriot’s Edition of the 1599 Geneva Bible is the same Scripture, word for word, that the Pilgrims brought to America nearly 400 years ago. This new edition, however, features a prayer by George Washington, which begins…

“O eternal and everlasting God, i presume to present myself this morning before thy divine majesty, beseeching thee to accept of my humble and hearty thanks, that it hath pleased thy great goodness to keep and preserve me the night past from all the dangers poor mortals are subject to, and has given me sweet and pleasant sleep, whereby i find my body refreshed and comforted for performing the duties of this day, in which i beseech thee to defend me from all perils of body and soul…”

This edition also includes the following historical documents, which are based upon Biblical principles:

•The Magna Carta

•The Mayflower Compact

•The Declaration of Independence

•The Articles of Confederation

•The Constitution of the United States

•Amendments to the U.S. Constitution

•Rules of Civility & Decent Behavior

ENDORSEMENTS:

“The publication and promulgation of the 1599 Geneva Bible will help restore America’s rich Christian heritage and reclaim the culture for Christ.”

Dr. D. James Kennedy, Senior Pastor of Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church

Buy one or two or three or even more and remember to also oppose the Mosque at “Ground Zero” just like Sharin’ Whiplash does.

P. S. Remember Separation of Church of State is a heretical lie from the pit of hell cooked up by secular humanist liberal atheistic crackpots.

“Calvinism Unnatural”: Gay Christians Say

July 3, 2010

Fellow Discernmentalists…Beware… We are Under Attack again. The Gay Christian League of Anti-Christs for the Destruction of Biblical Morality have issued this controversial statement:

We have to continue to witness against the evil of Calvinism and pray that the Lord will open the blind eyes of those deceived by this unnatural behavior. We’re not remotely concerned about being politically correct about this issue. We know that Calvinists have chosen to continue believing in their fatalistic and self-destructive philosophy. We only pray that God will deliver them and change them to accepting their God-ordained Freedom in Christ. Yes Calvinism is unnatural…for who in their right mind would willing comply with subjecting themselves to being a mere automaton slave of the unpredictable whims of a fickle God of Wrath? No we are not robot zombie puppets…after all for Freedom’s sake Christ came to set us Free.   

Oh the horror of such rank heresy and bigoted terms! How dare anyone attack our Pure Biblical Truth Gospel like that. How dare anyone suggest that such a thing as Libertarian Free Will exists…why that goes against every moral fiber of our sound Biblical eisegesis exegesis. How can grace be grace if it is a free gift that just anyone can freely choose to accept and how can grace be a free gift if it wasn’t freely given to those whom God fatalistically pre-chose to give it to? We are appalled that anyone would dare think  differently than us. I mean it’s not like those stone dead in their sins can hear God’s voice anyway. No that would be too synergistic and we know that God never ever cooperates with man in anything. Remember these tried and true Pure words from our Gospels:  “Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated”—which we know has everything to do with salvation in Christ.

Getting back to The Gay Christian League of Anti-Christs for the Destruction of Biblical Morality, their attacks have even taken a far sinister turn when they suggested that John Calvin was actually a queerosexual. We can’t stand for this bigoted libel and slander of  ‘a great and holy man of God so greatly used by our Absolutely Sovereign Lord of Vengeful Jealous Wrath without whom we would all still be struggling in the dark ignorance of Roman Arminianism that man-exalting heresy.’ Some members of  The Gay Christian League of Anti-Christs for the Destruction of Biblical Morality have stated that Calvinists were born the way they are and choose to remain Calvinist and glorify their mentally unbalanced disease:

However the large majority of  The Gay Christian League of Anti-Christs for the Destruction of Biblical Morality believe that Calvinism is a choice and that Calvinists should repent of their abnormal, unnatural and unbiblical behavior.  The Gay Christian League of Anti-Christs for the Destruction of Biblical Morality have even set up centers for deprogramming Calvinists.  We have reason to suspect that the leaders who caused all these recent attacks are none other than Greg McCaw a self-avowed gay queer fag Emergent Christian (an oxymoron if there ever was one)—in conjunction with a heretic named Tom and another fag named Alvin McEwen. Fellow Discernmentalists we must not stand for these bigoted lies against our Pure Biblical Gospel Truth Doctrines—the Once For All Biblically Correct Pure Gospel Truth Doctrines delivered to the Saints like John Owen and Augustus Toplady lest the Church fall into the hands of the Emerging Homosexualist agenda of Emergent apostates.

P. S. We are not bigots for taking a stand against all you Arminian, Emergent and queer reprobates…we are just speaking the Truth in love and grace of course!