Archive for the ‘idols of Discernmentalists’ Category

Our non-Political Theological Creed 4 True Christians

December 20, 2019

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Since that horrible librul state passed that unbiblical amendment upholding the Constitutional principle of the Separation of Church and State but attacking our free speech to divide the church even further by making political endorsements from our Pulpits—we’ve decided to write a creed to unite churches (as there never was a creed unifying the church ever in Christian History).

Sound Doctrines and True Theological propositions our creed to unite churches includes: Belief in the Trinity? Nope. Jesus as Messiah? Nada. Rendering to Caesar what is Caesar’s and to the Lord the Lord’s? No. Forsaking worldliness? Nein. Salvation by Grace? Does not compute. Reference to the Incarnation? Nil. Belief in the Resurrection? Not a chance.

Here is our CREED that all must follow or else you are not a TRUE CHRISTIAN:

  1. We endorse Trump therefore since we endorse and follow Trump you must vote for him as well or else you’re not a “Real” Christian in fact you’re no Christian at all.  (Exodus 20:7)
  2. We follow Reagan and the Republican Party not Carl Marks and the Democratic Party nor Don John and the Liberterian Party or that Vegan Party with Lady Gaga—therefore you too must follow who we follow. (1 Corinthians 1:10-31)
  3. Abortion is murder the Bible says so in fact its the number one sin in the Bible—believe us. (0 Bible results for “abortion is murder.” 0 Bible results for “abortion is sin.”). Only Trump and Republicans take a stand against abortion like Democrats for Life of America.
  4. The only sin equally worse as abortion is gheyness—the Bible is Clear men shouldn’t lie with men–its an abomination. Only democrats are gay like Log Cabin Republicans. (Ezekiel 16:48-50; 18:13)
  5. Everyone should vote Republican as God is a Republican. (0 Bible results for “America.” 0 Bible results for “Republican.” 0 Bible results for “Democrat.”)
  6. America first—we support Nationalism just like God. (Isaiah 40)
  7. We endorse Trump just like Paul and John endorsed Nero. (Revelation 13:18) therefore you lose our blessings if you go against our endorsement and will be excommunicated from the only “True” Church with the only “True” Christian faith.
  8. We vote Trump just like Jesus voted for Pilate and Caesar. (1 Samuel 8-15; Mark 12:17; Luke 22:24-27) therefore you too must vote for him or else leave the Christian faith as you were never really a “True” Christian to begin with.

Our creed is 100% Early Church-endorsed as these quotes attest:

In us, all ardor in the pursuit of glory and honor is dead. So we have no pressing inducement to take part in your public meetings. Nor is there anything more entirely foreign to us than affairs of state. – Tertullian

All the powers and dignities of this world are only alien to, but are enemies of God. Through them, punishments have been determined against God’s servants. Through them, too, penalties prepared for the impious are ignored. – Tertullian

We are to scorn trying to ingratiate ourselves with kings or any other men – not only if their favor is to be won by murderers, licentiousness, or deeds of cruelty – but even if it involves impiety towards God, or any servile expressions of flattery and fawning. – Origen

Trump considers Sicking Lobstermen from Mars on Deep State

December 11, 2019

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Shelldrake Clorzo  pledges to pinch the Deep State with his pincers

QAnon reports on American Thinker:

Will December be the month the pincers close in on the Deep State?  Some promising storm clouds are building.  Justice Department inspector general Michael Horowitz will appear before Senator Lindsey Graham’s Judiciary Committee on December 11, with the long promised I.G. report on FISA abuse to be released December 9.The report is already being downplayed by the media, with the New York Times warning, “DOJ watchdog report expected to clear Comey, McCabe, and Strzok of bias in Trump-Russia probe.”  Okey-dokey, case closed.  The storm will be only a light breeze — at least according to their “unnamed sources” and “officials familiar with the report.” Read more: https://www.americanthinker.com/articles/2019/11/are_the_pincers_closing_on_the_deep_state.html#ixzz66pc3EPCC

It was also reported from an anonymous transmission from outer space that a UFO was spotted a few light-years from Earth. The Trump Administration has said to have made contact with the ship piloted by one Shelldrake Clorzo (a lobsterman from Mars). Shelldrake has been desperately searching for a way to avoid problems with the IRS of Mars and the unpaid millions he owes them in back taxes. He has asked Trump for help—in return and armed with a foolproof plan he pledges to sick his pincers on the Deep State to repay Trump.

Legacy: The Late Ken Silva Wanted To Rename Southern Baptist Convention newly rediscovered documents reveal

December 3, 2019

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Quote the late Ken Silva: “As one who was ordained as an SBC pastor in the mid-90s I kind of agree that a name change for the SBC would help clarify where this denomination is currently at. Filled as it is with leaders who don’t have to lead, hiding as they do behind its Idol of Autonomy, the SBC’s becoming anything goes.”
(Source: Apprising Ministries)

How dare those Southern Baptists believe in Baptist doctrine! We must most mightily put a stop to this. While we’re at it we must put a stop to the SBC’s Idol of Credobaptism as well. Anything goes in this Truth War, right? As we all know the Roman Catholic Church and the Reformers taught that Infant Baptism is the only correct way to baptize. How dare those Southern Baptists lack Doctrinal Purity in their man-centered idolatry of baptizing believers!

We must also bring back State Churches… who needs to keep religion and government separate anyways? We most greatfully thank you our late Affectionate Uncle Ken for being in the front-lines in getting our important message across that God wants America to be enslaved to theocratic tyranny. Rushdoony, David Barton and the great and all powerful Worldview Weekend couldn’t have done as great a work as he did.

We vote that we also place statues of Spurgeon and the great General and Holiest Apostle of our Truth War: our Pope of all Truth John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) in the sanctuary of every Southern Baptist church. Phil Johnson agrees and Rhoblogy adds that a statue or two of James White—“Rockstar” wouldn’t hurt as that would provide extra protection from Doctrinal corruption. Speaking of Spurgeon whom Discernmentalists love to quote from ala our late Uncle in Discernmentalism—our Research Robot Monkeys discovered that he was doctrinally impure so he might not be as great as Phil and his John, son!

Personally the ODMafia moves to change the SBC’s name to Saved By Calvinism as only Calvinism saves not Jesus.

“JMac (PBUH) member of ISIS”: Brannon Howse says!

November 22, 2019

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The falling away of Brannon Howse continues as he named John MacArthur the Pope of all Truth (PBUH) a member of ISIS: “MacArthur’s ministry defended… (the) Muslim Brotherhood (and a) Jihadi-preaching Imam by the name of Yasir Qadhi.”—Brannon Howse

How the mightiest of our fellow Truth Warriors have fallen and turned against us in our battle for our Truth and the Pureness of our Doctrine. Thankfully none of our Truth ministries have turned on fellow believers and have attacked them for years even writing books slandering them with false accusations and hearsay under the title of “ministry.”

Once again we must take a stand against Brannon and call him to repent if he is able! We’re turning against him till he repents.

Setting the standard so get over it,

Don Jobson

 

We Should Endorse Sports Teams from our Pulpits

November 4, 2019

73 BC: The early days of product endorsement.

Recently the sinfully quasi-universalist heretically ecumenical liberal mecca of all things apostate NY passed a law upholding the myth of separation of church and state therefore violating our free speech to endorse all things worldly and culturally–driven from our pulpits. In fact we’re disgusted by this unbiblical law as this leaves apostates to pull for sinful sports teams against our CLEAR TEACHINGS ie soccer which is the gateway sport to socialism as Caliban a previous commenter on our Blog noted:

Caliban Says:
I think we should also lobby to endorse sports teams from the pulpit so that we can preach the full, complete and unvarnished Truth® of the Gospel of God’s wrath based on God’s Holy Word. Just think aBOut it? I mean some sports teams don’t line up with our political Christian values, and we have a duty to warn our congregations about where sports teams stand on our “Important” issues. Say like any sports team from canada we shouldn’t endorse, because all canadians are apostate socialist terrorist-enabling commie fags. We should also hold all accountable to our endorsements and excommunicate any member who heeds our warnings and doesn’t pull for the sports teams that we endorse.

And Arthur and I agreed: Good idea Caliban! I’m sure my fellow Discernmentalist Arthur McJohn would agree—he would also move to forbid any endorsement of soccer teams since illegal immigrants worship that Communist sport. American Football teams are a’ok however—as long as they support the GOIP Republican agenda and their coaches pray before games we should be Free to endorse sports teams all we like. Basketball teams are fine too—especially if they are teams that John MacArthur (P. B.U. H.) pulls for.

Arthur replied: “Yes, basketball would be the best because it has no roots in other heathen sports. (RealAmerican) Football is good also, and very manly, but it is a little similar to Rugby (damned anglican game).”

Just like how Saint Paul endorsed gladiators in his ministry and called down God’s Wrath upon all those who didn’t support the gladiator he supported or how Saint John the Revelator endorsed Nero Caesar!

Book Review Of The Month: Doug Wilson’s RapeGod!

May 11, 2019

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“A man  penetrates, conquers, colonizes, plants. A woman receives, surrenders, accepts.”—Doug Wilson

We’re reviewing book reviews in our local Discernmentalist Book Club this month and this one particular ear-tickling Postmodern unbeliever’s book review of the great Doug Wilson (Neo-Confederate Rape-apologist)‘s wonderfully Biblically accurate book on human relations as defined by God RapeGod made us laugh:

It isn’t fair to critique a book I haven’t read. That being said, the title and the contents offend me right from the start. “RapeGod”: It doesn’t take a genius to observe our current culture and the trashiness that exists–and this “author” will join together in a title what humans have abused with the One who created it (to be enjoyed within the confines of marriage)?

Have some RESPECT for the holy God!! The Jews, out of reverence for God won’t even type or write out his name as we do. They will use G-d!

And the name of the chapters: “God Wears Lipstick”, “Leather, Whips and Fruit”, “Whoopee Forever”. No further comment.

Just read the Bible! See our sin, and how a Holy God cannot have fellowship (connection) with sin, and how he provided redemption Rev. 5:9 “with your blood you purchased men for God”. Read Revelation and how God has a future in Heaven, perfect, free from sin. Rev 4:8: “Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty…”.

Whoopee forever? Not. Worship God forever, oh yes!

First Mr. Ear Tickles attacks a core Doctrine of Discernmentalism: reviewing books we haven’t even read and then attacking said books on our Mighty Truth Warrior Blogs—by accusing them of promoting heresy based on a blurb we read online or a video preview. Also the Hard Truths of our Truth War Gospel will always offend those with itching ears looking for a feel-good watered-down sissified Socialist heretically liberal gospel like Emergents preach. Secondly Doug Wilson (Neo-Confederate rape-apologist) only writes on the trashiness of our current culture in order to warn readers of the dangers of our many enemies who attack our Pure Doctrines of Biblical Manhood and womanhood like Emergents; socialists; progressives; Rock music; hippies; Harry Potter; liberals; mystics; video games; the “Emerging” Village People; queerosexuals; femimarxists; girliemen; Ken and Barbie dolls; Pokémon; Santa Claus; the Easter Bunny; aliens; Bigfoot; etc. He only wants to protect women as this quote from the book demonstrates:

If a woman were responsible to submit to men in general, her life would be unbearable no one can serve two masters. But a woman who is responsive to a godly man is protected from having to submit to other men, most of whom are less than godly. She consequently has a great deal more liberty than a woman who not protected in this way. Thus the so-called “independent” woman is not under any kind of protection. She is truly on her own, but with the result being that she is buffeted about by all sorts of men. But if her father were doing what he ought to do, or if she were in a marriage relationship where the husband was doing what he ought to do, she would be protected from the insults and harassment of men in general This explains why some of the most “independent” women are so insecure, and why some of the most submissive women have a real security and strength of mind. Women inescapably need godly masculine protection against ungodly masculine harassment; women who refuse protection from their fathers and husbands must seek it from the police. But women who genuinely insist on “no masculine protection” are really women who tacitly agree on the propriety of rape. Whenever someone sets himself to go against God’s design, horrible problems will always result. The Bible says that we find the way to true self-discovery through self-surrender. Those who exalt themselves are humbled, and vice versa. In the feminist movement over the last several decades, women have been looking for (and have not yet found) themselves. This is because they have been trying to find and identify their role apart from God’s design. The beauty of biblical courtship is that it never leaves women unprotected. (RapeGod pg. 13)

Were Mr. Ear Tickles who we now suspect is a fememergent plant serious about reviewing this classic by Doug Wilson (Neo-Confederate rape-apologist) he would have already known that via Bible-based osmosis. Next his terrible review accuses Doug (Neo-Confederate rape-apologist) of disrespecting the God of the Bible.  How can this be—when Doug (Neo-Confederate rape-apologist) has spent his whole life defending Absolute Biblical Truth such as the Confederacy’s Divine Right to own slaves and commit Treason on account of States’ Rights.  Doug Wilson (Neo-Confederate rape-apologist) has more respect for the God of the Bible than quasi-Universalist mystic emergence guru Rob Bell and the once sex-obsessed Mark Driscoll combined. Here’s proof— later the book stated:

Male authority is an erotic necessity. In order to make love, a man must be hard and the woman soft. This is not just a physiological detail, but a metaphor for their whole relationship. Feminists, having demanded soft men, have discovered that it is beyond exasperating to be locked in a rape fantasy with some Caspar Milquetoast. Ravish me! she pleads with her eyes. Let’s go down to the aquarium, he says, and look at the endangered species exhibit. If you are going to go for soft, then another woman makes better sense. Lesbianism, it turns out, has an internal logic. (RapeGod pgs.142–143)

Next if one’s not willing to write God’s name out then one never believed in God to begin with (by the way God’s name is God as distinguished from other gods or a god like Allah). Also we caught Mr. Ear Tickle lying as he read the chapter titles—so much for not reading the book like a True Discernmentalist book-reviewer does. Here we agree with the ear-tickler to read the Bible but only if its an ODM-approved Bible such as the AV1611 King James or our Truth War Pope’s Glorious Study Bibles. Speaking of our Truth War that book is required reading for all True Truth Warriors—otherwise how will we know which truths of ours are always being attacked that we are called to ever-defend?

Before his concluding remarks Mr. Ear-Tickler mentions the Trinity without shewing how RapeGod by Doug Wilson (Semi-Arian slavery-apologist) defends the unBiblically unorthodox Orthodox Doctrine of Christ’s subordination to the Father in the Godhead just like a woman is subordinate to her father first and then her husband which is exactly nothing at all like the Arian heresy that Christ is subordinate to the Father in the Godhead. One final thought on RapeGod is Doug (Semi-Arian slavery-apologist)‘s warning from it’s epilogue which is why it is highly recommended by Discernmentalists:

Comes now some academic bloviation to help us all through whatever remaining prejudices we might have had about the molestation of children (HT: Baylyblog & Frank Turk). At issue is the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), which is still, even in these postmodern times, filled with hatred and outmoded forms of discriminatory malice. It appears that pedophilia and hebephilia are still listed as disorders, and boy, do we have some work to do! You know, addressing all that hatred.

For those just joining us, the days are coming when the only entry left in the DSM will be the then outlawed practice of intercourse in the missionary position by a heterosexual married couple.

Pope Pyro the First says: “Education Smeducation!”

April 20, 2019

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Our Illustrious Infallible Grand Poobah the Most Inerrant Most Holy Pope Pyro I aka John MacArthur (PBUH) decrees: “Education smeducation…students keep your mouth shut…I am the Master and you barely worthy to sit at my anointed feet of discernmentalism…I have no need of degrees as  I already know all Truth. Did Paul have a  degree? Did Spurgeon? For I was personally appointed by God to lead the Truth War and spread disimformation slander discernmentalism. I know all Truth and history as I was there.”

Elsewhere Phil Johnson aka Hugh Jass noted that our Holy mecca Vatican school University of Discernmentalism is under attack:

Pastor John MacArthur has described the probation of his Master’s University and Seminary by an accrediting agency as an “orchestrated” attack, possibly by Satan, and directed students to keep quiet about the controversy.

A Nov. 29 report from the Chronicle of Higher Education published an audio recording of an hourlong sermon from August wherein the 79-year-old Reformed pastor told the student body that their accreditor’s actions amounted to an effort “orchestrated, if not by humans, by Satan himself.”

MacArthur also told students not to ask questions about the accreditation issues, they had no right to learn the details, and that it was not their responsibility.

“There are things that God hates, right?” he said, referencing Proverbs 6. “One of them is the one who stirs up strife,” he said, urging students to keep their complaints within the university and seminary.

“Keep your mouth shut,” MacArthur told them.

“Don’t stir up strife. You don’t know the whole story.”

Belligerent Static Warns Discernmentalist Ministry

April 18, 2019

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Beware BS is coming to your homes… BS is coming to your schools… BS is even coming to our churches… be  warned and beware the hordes of BS going round… so spread the fear and spread the hate.

John Calvin “Frisked” At Liberty and Grace Reformed Church

September 21, 2011

Pastor Steven Dilday in echo of George W. Bush’s “Patriot Act” opts to create the first ever “Clergy Act” in an attempt to root out all those spiritual terrorists who dare to partake in the sins of the Whore of Babylon—the Scarlet Mother of all Harlots: the Roman Catholic Cult by wearing robes and stoles to preach. Quote Steven Dilday: “this is the most pressing and urgent of issues of our time—we should hold the theology of those who wear vestments in the pulpit suspect.” One of the first victims of Pastor Dilday’s Clergy Act was a John Calvin impersonator who was held suspect for looking too sinisterly like a Jesuit gestapo in his black robes:

We most mightily thank Pastor Dilday for bringing this clear and most important teaching on one  of  “the most pressing and urgent of issues of our time.” Why if a John Calvin impersonator can be held theologically suspect then we must also hold the real Calvin theologically suspect! On a related note—Pastor Dilday elsewhere declared that Calvinists should abandon Calvin for not being Truly Refomed and Calvinistic enough. We agree as Calvin was a little too Semi-Pelagian for our tastes and did not hold to the Truth of the Ways of our Master.

Remember this is a Truth War after-all so we must hold everyone accountable to ourStandard of ourTruth of ourPure Doctrines. Thankfully you have this humble Truly Reformed Bible-Believing Truth War Discernment Ministry to Take A Stand in ourDoctrines on “this most pressing and urgent of issues of our time.” We here at this ministry are all about grace and nothing but Grace… in fact we are the most Grace-loving man-hating site on the net. We would never ever heap the burden of the Law upon you or preach anything like a Works-Salvation unlike those Grace-hating man-glorfiying Catholic-worshippers. We just expect you to keep ourRules lest we deem you unworthy of God’s Grace and therefore unfit for the Kingdom.

So Liberty and Grace To You, God’s Only Elect in the Great Grace of the wide and loving mercy of our Angry God’s Sovereign Hate and Wrath.

—————————–

Update # 1: Martin Luther wore vestments clearly he must have hated liberty and grace for partaking in the sin of the Papists.

Update # 2: We caught one of our own Ken Silva wearing a bathrobe… he must be on the Road to Rome. Now we must put his site under surveillance.

Update # 3: Johnathan Edwards wore a clerical collar… a clear perversion of the Doctrines of Grace.

Update # 4: We wiretapped Ken Silva’s phone and overheard Ken talking with Chris Rosebrough (an avowed Lutheran) and Ingrid of SOL/Crosstalk (a possible Lutheran). Now we must really put his site under surveillance as now we really have reason to suspect that he is Emerging into Rome.

Update # 5: Oh horror of horrors… the Ways of the Master himself caught preaching sans coat and tie in a Rick Warrenesque shirt. He’s one step closer to Rick Warren’s heretical Purpose-Driven Agenda.

Spurgeon Exposed As A Young Restless & Reformed Type Sinner

September 12, 2011

We are so tired of these Young Restless & Reformed type heathens trying to justify their fleshly desires and rebellious nature. How dare they flaunt their tattoos, smoke tobacco, drink one sip of an alcoholic beverage or even swish with an alcoholic mouthwash! Don’t they know that all of these things are a sin—how dare they disrespect our glorious Elder John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) and his clear teachings of our Pure Biblical Doctrines.

John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) is clearly head and shoulders above any of these heretical YRR apostates as John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) is the only True Living Teacher of God’s Word in history. Never-mind the fact that the bible never mentions tobacco or that the bible never mentions drinking in itself is a sin—(hect even Jesus drank wine)—if our glorious Elder (P. B. U. H.) says these things are a sin then that must be the Absolute Biblical Truth.

I mean how can one  use sinful activities to the glory of God—sheer blasphemy—just listen to this hideous description of your typical Young Restless & Reformed type sinner:

“Last Sunday evening, at the Metropolitan Tabernacle, the deservedly popular, unquestionably benevolent, and eminently shrewd Mr. Spurgeon was preaching a sermon on the sinfulness of little sins—a somewhat favourite topic among Nonconformist clergymen, and on which, under the title of ‘The Little Foxes,’ some curious lay-sermons have been written by Mrs. Harriet Beecher-Stowe.
“The gist of Mr. Spurgeon’s discourse was that habitual indulgence in little sins leads to the commission of great ones—a position enforced by one of the most famous English divines in the illustration of the ‘boy who plays with the devil’s rattles.’
“At the close of his useful sermon the minister introduced an American clergyman who, he said, was anxious to address a few words to the congregation. This reverend gentleman ‘improved the opportunity’ by inveighing fiercely against the sin of smoking tobacco, especially in the form of cigars, and told his hearers how he had struggled and fought against the pernicious habit, and how at last, by the blessing and with the assistance of Providence, he had conquered his addiction to the weed.
“Then uprose Mr. Spurgeon and, with quiet humour, remarked that he would not allow the congregation to separate without telling them that he did not consider smoking to be a sin, and that, by the grace of God, he hoped to enjoy a good cigar before going to bed that night.
“Hypercriticism should discern no irreverence in the conclusion of those remarks. We should be thankful for all things; and in observing that he hoped to enjoy a cigar through the Divine grace, he was but echoing the natural piety of Charles Lamb, who asked why we should not say grace before going out for a walk in the fields as well as before and after meat. Dr. Johnson said grace before he began the ‘Rambler’; and if Mr. Spurgeon be a smoker, he only adds another and most excellent name to the long catalogue of distinguished English divines of the Established and the Dissenting Churches who have solaced themselves with that Indian weed.”2