Archive for the ‘Hoofendorfer's Law Of Discernmentalism’ Category

SBC under siege by Mothra Priestesses!

May 18, 2019

 

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Actual photo of this assault by Mothra and her Priests/Priestesses!

Not a day goes by when our Truth is not under attack—this time we’re under siege by Mothra. [H/T]: The moth-eaten SBC and the women who did it. “But I am like a moth to Ephraim, and like dry rot to the house of Judah.” (Hosea 5:12).

Oh the unholy horror of this affront on our Truth—I only pray that Mrs.  Jobson doesn’t catch wind of these secret feminist doctrines or she might rebel against my divinely mandated authority again. I’ve forced Mrs. Jobson to wear a necklace made out of mothballs just in case—sure it smells funny but I told her: “listen woman this is for your own good and it helps protect the purity of our Truth.” Anyways here’s how to spot these secret feminist Mothra priestesses:

They are feminists—don’t let them tell you otherwise. Also we hear they’re not too fond of the smell of mothballs but are attracted to altar flowers. (See this link for proof).

This is the new crop of what I called Christian secret feminists- but they aren’t as secret as they were in 2012. They live a feminist life inside of Christianity but call it ministry. They are openly rebelling now.

One woman who has much to answer for about this new role is Beth Moore. She was the one who broke new ground in the Southern Baptist Convention, a most conservative denomination, in how far a woman could go in attaining celebrity status, living for her career and not for her home, and promoting gender role reversals.

She showed us how to be the main and sustained breadwinner of the family. She showed us that she could preach in a church and teach anyone in the world, uncensured. Mrs Moore, while speaking conservative values cloaked in all the right Christianese, has lived a very feminist life. (We suspect this is because of their super secret psychic cloaking powers).

We only know this because of using our Secret Cloaking Reversal Technology or SKIRT—also they are most likely to predict an oncoming Mothra attack as per our findings. We also have reason to suspect these feminist Mothra priestesses of secret Catholic leanings:

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Absolute Proof. We discovered this too while using our Bible-based SKIRT (Secret Cloaking Reversal Technology).

So be warned and beware—thankfully you have lone Discernmentalists in the wilderness like us to warn you of all these threats on our Truth. At this very moment we’re working on Mothra-sized mothballs—to surround our Holy Convention and churches—and prevent these feminist Mothra priestesses unleashing even more Mothra attacks on our churches and Truth.

An Update on an Update: We’re still under attack!!! by gay cartoon rats!!

May 17, 2019

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Extra Freaking Out Discernmentalist News: I would have written this on my original article but I didn’t want Mrs. Jobson to get suspicious again that I had fallen away and was looking up ghey furry porn sites. This is why I had to write a new article to bring you this important update and so that I didn’t have to look at the unholy horror of that sinful pic again. We also needed to test out Dr. I. Todyaso’s Fictional Gay Character Eraser so we are glad that we can use a *censored* photo this time as I was concerned my previous article with the uncensored pic was accidently turning our readers ghey by sight osmosis from all it’s gaydiation rays being emitted.

Anyways this is Update #4 I think: You know our fight in the Truth War against fictional gay cartoon rats is really heating up when Activist Mommy joins in. Quote:

It’s becoming nearly impossible to trust any children’s entertainment these days, with the pervasive themes of gender confusion and alternative sexual lifestyles wherever you look. It’s become vogue to set your show apart with the introduction of a gay character or gay kiss…even on shows for very young children.

This is not the first time the show Arthur has pushed the LGBT agenda.  In 2005, the show aired an episode called, “Postcards from Buster,” in which the titular character visits Vermont to learn about the maple syrup production process.  While he is there, he meets a few children who have lesbian moms. The word “lesbian” is not used in the episode just like the word “gay” is not used in the wedding episode.  There is not any actual explanation in either episode, just extremely suggestive imagery that is impossible to misinterpret.

Flying just low enough under the radar that most parents won’t find it worth standing up against, but evident enough to leave an impression on children.

Make no mistake, this is not an innocent attempt to promote love and acceptance.  This is blatant indoctrination aimed to break down our children’s developing moral foundations.

We as Christians can fight this assault on our children’s minds…

Thankfully you have Important ministries like ours to warn you of the Clear and present dangers of fictional gay characters like cartoon rats that will surely turn kids ghey instead of focusing on real issues like child abuse rampart in our churches. Why if we don’t continue to take a stand against fictional gay cartoon rats—real rats might get ideas and choose to be gay.

Update # 5: Sadly in having to quote from Activist Mommy’s article I accidently caught a glimpse of the Holy horror of the uncensored version of that sinful pic again while Mrs. Jobson was in the room and I’ve been banished to sleep on the couch in my study. (Editors’ Note: We’re horrified that Activist Mommy didn’t have the decency to release a censored version of that unholy pic with all it’s abominable filth like Don’s second article does).

Update # 6: Thankfully Mrs. Jobson agreed to a session of MacArthurite approved Bible-based counseling. Some of our staff are now locking Mrs. Jobson in a dark room and screaming and yelling Bible verses at her until she agrees to resubmit to the Divine Authority of my Male Headship. Thank our Angry Sovereign God it worked and she now knows her place once more!

Is Anonymous Commenter (Name Withheld) Secretly Trump in Disguise?

May 13, 2019

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Why else would Anonymous Commenter (Name Withheld) post an article about Trump? Why just why? His friends already know about Trump so there’s no need for him to expose Trump for all the world to see unless he was in actual fact Trump himself. In fact we see zero moral difference between Trump who makes outlandish statements to incite outrage and Anonymous Commenter (Name Withheld) that posted this outlandish anti-Trump article to incite others to be outraged with him. No difference whatsoever. If indeed Anonymous Commenter (Name Withheld) is really Trump himself then we humbly praise him for being our most Biblical and Godly President ever by giving Trump more attention—but if he is really against Trump then we Biblically curse him for unbiblically cussing Trump to give Trump more attention.

Blocked By One Of Our Own

May 9, 2019

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The attacks on us by our former allies the formerly known Propaganda & Party (Pulpit & Pen) now henceforth known as Bulpit & Pen have taken a turn for the worse and have gotten extra ugly. Recently our Mighty notTwitter Truth Warriors were blocked. Yes blocked— Bulpit & Pen blocked us from spying on following them on their Socialist Media account on Twitter—after discovering Dr. Truthslayer’s helpful meme. We are beyond outraged—for one: how dare they go against our Clear Teachings that even we ourselves don’t follow on Social Media leading to Socializing which is sheer worldliness and even worse Socialism. We thought they were much more anti-Social Gospel than that.

Even moreso Bulpit & Pen have turned their missives on our newest ally in protecting the fragile Hard Truth of our Glorious Pope John MacArthur’s Truth War (PBUI):

  1. Do not post memes.

  2. Do not post Babylon Bee articles.

We have even more reason to be concerned that Bulpit & Pen are apostatizing from the worldly means in which all True Truth Warriors fighting the good fight against for Truth wage our Truth War©2007®™ . What would our mutual Pope John MacArthur (PBUH)’s right hand man Phil Johnson aka Hugh Jass think or the Mighty Truth Warrior Frank Turk? We only pray that Bulpit & Pen repent and turn back to the fold of fighting the good Truth War for our mutual Pope John MacArthur’s Absolute Truth©2007®™ .

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Sports Illustrated succumbs to Sharia Law

May 1, 2019

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“Discernment is not knowing the difference between right and wrong. It is knowing the difference between right and almost right.”—-Charles Spurgeon

Attention Truth Warriors: Sports Illustrated has fallen. Political correctness has forced Sports Illustrated to come under the control of Sharia Law against our most Biblical and Godly President’s Clear Teachings:

“We have to straighten out our country, we have to make our country great again, and we need energy and enthusiasm,” Trump said during an appearance on “Meet the Press” in August 2015. “And this political correctness is just absolutely killing us as a country. You can’t say anything. Anything you say today, they’ll find a reason why it’s not good.”

We can’t stand for this good Christian American magazine dedicated to sports enthusiasts to remain in the hands of these politically correct invaders polluting our True Judeo-Christian American Values. What’s next? Will our good Christian American magazine dedicated to the study of women and educational interviews also fall under the loony libs political correctness and Islamist terroristic Sharia Law? Sheer heresy. Soon these jihadists will be forcing all our women to wear these travesties everywhere destroying our God-given Freedom in our Constitution. Don’t these loonies know that America is a Christian Nation?

This is more proof that Liberals ruin everything and that a Shadow Government is trying to help them destroy our Christian Nation. Many of our readers think our discernmentalism to be rather alarmist but consider this:

One day, you are in your house when there is a loud and frantic-sounding knock on the front door. You go to the door, open it, and standing there is your clearly upset neighbor shouting, “There’s a fire on the way, heading right for your house.” You push the neighbor aside, go outside, and climb a ladder onto the roof. And sure enough, you see a big fire heading right toward your house. But you think to yourself as you are climbing back down the ladder, “I don’t really like that neighbor, and I definitely don’t like the way he was ranting and raving at me. And he’s always so negative about everything. I just don’t like him at all.” So you go back inside your house, close the door, and continue on with your day.”

This is exactly what is happening with so many Christians today – the authors and editors at the  ODMafia and God’s Only Inerrant Party are trying to warn of the danger and deception that has come into the church and our Country, but we are often brushed off as too negative and being against everything. It doesn’t make any sense to ignore these warnings. In case you doubt my expertise on this subject—I once knew someone who once knew someone who knew someone who kept the dog for someone who visited England where they met someone who read an anonymous Internet comment on some Conservative website that proves Muslims are trying to bring America under control of Sharia Law. This makes me more of an expert on the subject of Islam than anyone else including actual Muslims. Also just like that someone I once knew:

“I myself have been a forty-five year student of the satanically inspired, centuries-old conspiracy to use government, education, and media to destroy every vestige of Christianity within our society and establish a new world order. Having read at least fifty books on the Illuminati, I am convinced that it exists and can be blamed for many of man’s inhumane actions against his fellow man during the past two hundred years.”

Spread the Conspiracy,

Don Jobson

Eric…take a Stand: “Harry Potter=Pornography!”

April 28, 2019

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Eric Barger of Take A Stand notes that all  the troubles in today’s perilous times are the cause of kids getting into Harry Potter:

But I have no reservation in saying that reading Harry Potter is spiritual pornography for God’s people and is akin to spiritual adultery for a Christian.

Nearly everyday I hear someone say “I’m a Christian” but then defend Potter. And we wonder why our homes are deviled, our prayers left unanswered and our finances and affairs upside down? How can God ever bless us if we persist in entertaining ourselves and our families with philosophies that His word calls an “abomination?”

I am now repeating myself from other installments found here on the web site but it’s true – we need to choose who we are going to serve and take serious the command to expose the unfruitful works of darkness around us. (Ezk. 44:23, Eph. 5:10-11, II Cor. 6:14-18, etc.)

We here of the GOIP and Mafia agree as we’ve already exposed Harry Potter’s connection to that seeker-driven heretic Rick Warren’s Purpose-driven New Age Agenda. Clearly this is the reason for all the problems in the world today for as Eric Barger also says:

What verse 32 is saying is that though we are not actually involved with something which God clearly disdains (such as witchcraft) yet we approve of it, defend it, and do not speak out against it then we mightas well just become a full-fledged practicing pagan ourselves and stop beating around the bush. The occult is completely in opposition to God. We know it is totally from Satan’s camp and 100% out of God’s will, yet we lift up Harry Potter as a role model? How can we when millions around us will spend eternity in Hell because of the very things J. K. Rowling has built into her hero character? A great example of Romans 1:32 in action is this…a man caught in the trap of watching pornography, is actually the same in the sight of God as those who are PERFORMING the sexual acts. That makes it pretty plain and blunt doesn’t it?

Yes that’s right Harry Potter is the gateway drug to Playboy and other porno mags. What’s next will Harry Potter replace our Pure Doctrines? Blasphemous…this is why we must continue to take a stand in opposing that occultic pope of seeker-driven-ness and Purpose-Driven new worldliness Rick Warren.

More on Our Persecution

April 23, 2019

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Once again my fellow Truth Warriors in our war on Truth War we’ve come under assault. This time by the sinfully ecumenical quasi-universalist semi-pelagian worldly heretical mystic seeker sensitive purpose driven Emergence unchristian against our clear teachings against such Relevant Magazine for writing an article against our Persecution Complex fake Real Persecution. Quote:

Obama was now, according to one Brietbart reporter, one of those “people who don’t want to say ‘Christians’”. “Yeah we’re actually called Christians not ‘Easter worshippers’”, sniffed a National Review writer. And so the sneaking conspiracy spread.

This is one of those “scandals” that becomes absurd as soon as you say it aloud. The charge is that former President Obama must hate Christianity so much he can’t even bring himself to say the word out loud. Such a rare form of psychological loathing that would be very surprising coming from a man who, say, famously sang “Amazing Grace” at a memorial service for Christians who were murdered in his own country while he was President.

Referring to people attending a religious service as “worshippers” is standard practice. It was only a few days ago that the AP called those mourning the closure of the Notre Dame Cathedral as “Easter Worshippers.”

How dare they take a stand against  our persecution for taking a stand against all those who would dare call Easter worshippers True Christians against our clear teachings that such is an abomination! We must reunite again in our war on Truth Truth War to come against all those who would dare come against us and be ever apprising on those who pervert our True Doctrines. Quote:

There’s a whole cottage industry built up around this complex — the God’s Not Dead franchise springs to mind — and it ends up doing real damage to Christians in other countries who are facing actual, not imagined, persecution. When American Christians cry wolf about actual persecution enough, the real thing ends up getting ignored.

And that’s the sad irony here. What happened in Sri Lanka is a true example of believers being targeted for their religious beliefs, while American Christians took a statement of seeming sincerity as a perceived slight and obfuscated the real persecution. If Christians truly care about persecution, they will mourn the real thing, not create fake versions of it.

But our Pope of our war on postmodernity Truth War (PBUH) says:

In this era of religious pluralism and postmodern relativism, evangelical Christianity has been marginalized as too rigid and too exclusive for public consumption. In the same way, the first-century church was a direct contradiction, not just of Jewish teaching, but of Roman paganism, as well. John MacArthur explains how the New Testament Christian’s life contradicted the religious norms of life in Roman society.

Because the Christians refused to make the required sacrifice offered in worship to the emperor, they were seen as traitors. They also proclaimed the kingdom of God, which caused the Romans to suspect them of plotting to overthrow the government. To avoid harassment by government officials, Christians often held their meetings in secret and at night. That heightened the Romans’ suspicions that they were hatching an anti-government plot. That Christians generally refused to serve in the Roman army also caused them to be viewed as disloyal.

The Romans also persecuted Christians for religious reasons. They allowed their subjects to worship whatever gods they liked, as long as they also worshiped the Roman gods. But Christians preached an exclusive message that there is only one God and only one way of salvation. That, coupled with their evangelistic efforts to win converts from other religions, went against the prevailing atmosphere of religious pluralism. [3] The MacArthur New Testament Commentary: John 12-21, 167-168.

The world doesn’t often clearly delineate religious lines of demarcation. To the untrained eye, most “Christian” religions look vaguely similar. And so long as the various religions can get along with one another—regardless of their differences—the world is happy to tolerate their faith and practice. Look no further than the widespread ecumenical support for this latest pope, or the constant campaign to rebrand Islam as a religion of peace as evidence of the world’s preference for postmodern religious harmony.

It’s only when God’s people make a stand for the objective, eternal truth of His Word that they find themselves in the crosshairs of an otherwise tolerant society. The message is clear: If you could just take your faith less seriously, we’d be able to get along. But the inability of God’s truth to mix with error means God’s people will always be branded as the problem children.

So who  you gonna believe us or them? So take a stand in our Conspiracy Driven Church and spread the fear and spread the hate against all those liberal sinners who said something we don’t like and hurt our feelings went against our God who is a good liberal-hating Obanma/Hillary-bashing Republican just like us because we’re so persecuted.

Liberals Ruin Everything!

April 21, 2019

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                             REASONS WHY LIBERALS ARE HELLBOUND JACKA*#ES:

                                                   AN ESSAY IN DISCERNMENTALISM

BY

Dr. Truthslayer, Doctor of the Ministry of Disinformation & Bible-Based Slander, Esquire

Libruls ruin everything and are a stain on the world but most importantly they’re ruining  our Great Country. They insist on taking our sacred guns away. They boo God. They don’t love war enough. They disrespect the Holy Flag that Jesus personally hand-delivered to Ronald Reagan when he sent Karl Marx to Hell. They hate Capitalism. They love socialist communism and are fascist. They support gays having the right to marry. They protest everything. They believe in social 2add4115b31c7c79cd11ebcc461b2ccb--donald-trump-quotes-god-bless-americajustice. They value science and education. They read books. They kill babies. They hate families. They are ignorant of history and our inerrant God-written Constitution. Moslems and illegals are librul. They are unpatriotic and hate America aka the Kingdom of God. They are intollerant. They refuse to obey the same Romans 13 that our Founding Fathers disobeyed by taking up arms in rebellion against England  submitting to Trump. They are jerk@$$es—among many other ungodly and horrible things we disapprove of. Quote:

Quite a shame Libruls don’t base their postmodern opinion on to the founding fathers none of whom were Muslim but on actual primary source documents and facts. There was not even a shred of mention by them about Islam especially in the Treaty of Tripoli also Thomas Jefferson never owned a Koran. I’m sick of Libruls not starting out their arguments with “feelingsbut research and facts. I don’t care how you feel about things, you don’t get to change the facts to suit your preferences, just by not posting your favorite leftist postmodern Right-Wing propaganda opinion. Truth be told the founders would are not rolling over in their graves with everything you jackasses have done the screw up this country.”—Tyrone V. Hoofendorfer

Phoenix Considers ‘Sin Tax’ On Young, Restless & Reformed Churches

April 18, 2019

(From the front-lines of the Truth War)- Frequenters of Phoenix strip clubs aka Young, Restless & Reformed Church-goers might be paying a little more than usual in the future. That’s because of a potential “sin tax,” first proposed to the city government by John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) on Tuesday. The tax would be imposed on establishments including strip club, tattoo parlors, and escort services, and other places that the Young, Restless & Reformed Movement (YRR) frequent to hold their “church” services reported Phil Johnson of Hugh Jass News.

Our Research Robot Monkeys reached YRR Guru Mark Driscoll of Mars Hill Church for comment on this proposal—he said: “Rats….garbled language….*censored for filthy language*….now I may not be able to continue practicing my Pornographic Divination.”

Typical YRR heathen response: “Smoking and drinking are so much cooler than obeying the rules against such in the bible given to us by the Sovereign decrees of our God of wrath. Besides Spurgeon was a Christian hedonist too so he would be cool with us smoking doobies; drinking hooch and using locker room talk to prove how much cooler than our Ruling Elders and more countercultural than carnal Pagan we are.” Nonsense. That’s why we must be ever discernmentalizing and concernmentalizing. The Truth War still rages on.

Hurricane Irene: God’s Wrath Against Satan’s Holiday

September 19, 2011

Northeastern states are facing a jack-o’-lantern shortage this Helloween after Hurricane Irene destroyed hundreds of pumpkin patches across the region, farmers say. Boo…freaking hoo…God hates Pumpkins…We Know! Every Helloween evil Arminian Papist Islamofascists join together with Pagan Secular Humanist Satanist Evilutionist Darwinianists by setting candles in Pumpkins and lighting them near their couches so they can chant their New Age mystical prayers in an attempt to try to destroy our Holy Doctrines.

Also on that unholy night of heathenism, the unholy alliance of Roman Arminian VaticanIslamists and Athiestic Satanic Enviromentalist Communist Socialist Darwin-worshippers go from door to door yelling “Trick-or-Treat” and kidnap pregnant Bible-Believing Protestants who don’t give them candy and force them at gunpoint to abort their fetuses so that they can drink their blood while committing acts of sodomy and other fornications.

Also they practice their favorite activity of sacrificing goats, pigs, sheeps, cats and Bible-Believing Protestant children on altars built to worship their false Pumpkin god the Jack-o-Lantern while reciting satanic verses from New Age Catholic Bible Perversions in Satan’s tongue—Latin.

This is what Helloween is all about and why Pumpkins are an abomination to God. I attest to you all of this is Absolute Biblically-Correct Factual Truth and not made up by any man as: “I myself have been a forty-five year student of the satanically inspired, centuries-old conspiracy to use government, education, and media to destroy every vestige of Christianity within our society and establish a new world order. Having read at least fifty books on the Illuminati, I am convinced that it exists and can be blamed for many of man’s inhumane actions against his fellow man during the past two hundred years.”

If you don’t believe me just click on this link: Helloween-Satan’s unholyday. Thankfully you have Godly Bible-Believing Online Discernment Ministries like this one that refuse to compromise on our Pure Doctrines. We must all do our part to take a stand in our angry God’s Sovereign Wrath and the Hard Truths of the Bible in defense of our Holy Doctrines. We must expose all and warn all on the evils of Pumpkins. We must leave no hidden evil uncovered.