Archive for the ‘Illuminati’ Category

Trump considers Sicking Lobstermen from Mars on Deep State

December 11, 2019

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Shelldrake Clorzo  pledges to pinch the Deep State with his pincers

QAnon reports on American Thinker:

Will December be the month the pincers close in on the Deep State?  Some promising storm clouds are building.  Justice Department inspector general Michael Horowitz will appear before Senator Lindsey Graham’s Judiciary Committee on December 11, with the long promised I.G. report on FISA abuse to be released December 9.The report is already being downplayed by the media, with the New York Times warning, “DOJ watchdog report expected to clear Comey, McCabe, and Strzok of bias in Trump-Russia probe.”  Okey-dokey, case closed.  The storm will be only a light breeze — at least according to their “unnamed sources” and “officials familiar with the report.” Read more: https://www.americanthinker.com/articles/2019/11/are_the_pincers_closing_on_the_deep_state.html#ixzz66pc3EPCC

It was also reported from an anonymous transmission from outer space that a UFO was spotted a few light-years from Earth. The Trump Administration has said to have made contact with the ship piloted by one Shelldrake Clorzo (a lobsterman from Mars). Shelldrake has been desperately searching for a way to avoid problems with the IRS of Mars and the unpaid millions he owes them in back taxes. He has asked Trump for help—in return and armed with a foolproof plan he pledges to sick his pincers on the Deep State to repay Trump.

An Update on an Update: We’re still under attack!!! by gay cartoon rats!!

May 17, 2019

gaheyrats

Extra Freaking Out Discernmentalist News: I would have written this on my original article but I didn’t want Mrs. Jobson to get suspicious again that I had fallen away and was looking up ghey furry porn sites. This is why I had to write a new article to bring you this important update and so that I didn’t have to look at the unholy horror of that sinful pic again. We also needed to test out Dr. I. Todyaso’s Fictional Gay Character Eraser so we are glad that we can use a *censored* photo this time as I was concerned my previous article with the uncensored pic was accidently turning our readers ghey by sight osmosis from all it’s gaydiation rays being emitted.

Anyways this is Update #4 I think: You know our fight in the Truth War against fictional gay cartoon rats is really heating up when Activist Mommy joins in. Quote:

It’s becoming nearly impossible to trust any children’s entertainment these days, with the pervasive themes of gender confusion and alternative sexual lifestyles wherever you look. It’s become vogue to set your show apart with the introduction of a gay character or gay kiss…even on shows for very young children.

This is not the first time the show Arthur has pushed the LGBT agenda.  In 2005, the show aired an episode called, “Postcards from Buster,” in which the titular character visits Vermont to learn about the maple syrup production process.  While he is there, he meets a few children who have lesbian moms. The word “lesbian” is not used in the episode just like the word “gay” is not used in the wedding episode.  There is not any actual explanation in either episode, just extremely suggestive imagery that is impossible to misinterpret.

Flying just low enough under the radar that most parents won’t find it worth standing up against, but evident enough to leave an impression on children.

Make no mistake, this is not an innocent attempt to promote love and acceptance.  This is blatant indoctrination aimed to break down our children’s developing moral foundations.

We as Christians can fight this assault on our children’s minds…

Thankfully you have Important ministries like ours to warn you of the Clear and present dangers of fictional gay characters like cartoon rats that will surely turn kids ghey instead of focusing on real issues like child abuse rampart in our churches. Why if we don’t continue to take a stand against fictional gay cartoon rats—real rats might get ideas and choose to be gay.

Update # 5: Sadly in having to quote from Activist Mommy’s article I accidently caught a glimpse of the Holy horror of the uncensored version of that sinful pic again while Mrs. Jobson was in the room and I’ve been banished to sleep on the couch in my study. (Editors’ Note: We’re horrified that Activist Mommy didn’t have the decency to release a censored version of that unholy pic with all it’s abominable filth like Don’s second article does).

Update # 6: Thankfully Mrs. Jobson agreed to a session of MacArthurite approved Bible-based counseling. Some of our staff are now locking Mrs. Jobson in a dark room and screaming and yelling Bible verses at her until she agrees to resubmit to the Divine Authority of my Male Headship. Thank our Angry Sovereign God it worked and she now knows her place once more!

Obama Is UnChristian: We Have Absolute Proof—

May 15, 2019

Exposed Obama’s Musliman ties—-smocking gun:

Barakobama’s .com

Our Research Robot Monkeys stumbled upon Obama’s personal homepage back in 2010 but our signals got jammed by the CIA. We can only bring you this horror now unfortunately. We think the code hidden in the Musliman language is talking about terrorizing Trump with pizza until he’s too Yuge to fit through the White House gate. The author of this plan shared with Obama was Anonymous. This gives us all the more reason to not question it’s authenticity. Our Research Robot Monkeys are still analyzing the rest of this hideous website.

Hurricane Irene: God’s Wrath Against Satan’s Holiday

September 19, 2011

Northeastern states are facing a jack-o’-lantern shortage this Helloween after Hurricane Irene destroyed hundreds of pumpkin patches across the region, farmers say. Boo…freaking hoo…God hates Pumpkins…We Know! Every Helloween evil Arminian Papist Islamofascists join together with Pagan Secular Humanist Satanist Evilutionist Darwinianists by setting candles in Pumpkins and lighting them near their couches so they can chant their New Age mystical prayers in an attempt to try to destroy our Holy Doctrines.

Also on that unholy night of heathenism, the unholy alliance of Roman Arminian VaticanIslamists and Athiestic Satanic Enviromentalist Communist Socialist Darwin-worshippers go from door to door yelling “Trick-or-Treat” and kidnap pregnant Bible-Believing Protestants who don’t give them candy and force them at gunpoint to abort their fetuses so that they can drink their blood while committing acts of sodomy and other fornications.

Also they practice their favorite activity of sacrificing goats, pigs, sheeps, cats and Bible-Believing Protestant children on altars built to worship their false Pumpkin god the Jack-o-Lantern while reciting satanic verses from New Age Catholic Bible Perversions in Satan’s tongue—Latin.

This is what Helloween is all about and why Pumpkins are an abomination to God. I attest to you all of this is Absolute Biblically-Correct Factual Truth and not made up by any man as: “I myself have been a forty-five year student of the satanically inspired, centuries-old conspiracy to use government, education, and media to destroy every vestige of Christianity within our society and establish a new world order. Having read at least fifty books on the Illuminati, I am convinced that it exists and can be blamed for many of man’s inhumane actions against his fellow man during the past two hundred years.”

If you don’t believe me just click on this link: Helloween-Satan’s unholyday. Thankfully you have Godly Bible-Believing Online Discernment Ministries like this one that refuse to compromise on our Pure Doctrines. We must all do our part to take a stand in our angry God’s Sovereign Wrath and the Hard Truths of the Bible in defense of our Holy Doctrines. We must expose all and warn all on the evils of Pumpkins. We must leave no hidden evil uncovered.

Evil Commies Honor Diseased Baptist

August 26, 2011

 

This just in fresh from Der Führer’s desk: Item #4-
Communist-Created Statue to Honor King
by Der Führer Brannon Howse’s henchman, Cliff Kincaid

With False President, Commie and Anti-Christ Obama preparing to preside over the official unveiling of the False Convert and Commie heretic— the evil Martin Luther King, Jr.’s Memorial, the last thing the administration needs is a controversy over the “Made in China” label for the 30-foot structure. But the shocking truth, known for many years, is beginning to be picked up by some media outlets as the special event approaches. The project in honor of the American civil rights and Satanic Baptist figure was “outsourced” to Lei Yixin, a Chinese government-approved sculptor best known for creating edifices glorifying Mao Tse-Tung, father of Communist China and notorious mass-murderer.

How dare anyone let supporters of mass-murderers create statues—let alone statues of mass-murderers! Haven’t people read my excellent article exposing MLK as the man-exalting reprobate that he was. Excerpt:

Martin Luther King, Jr. was a Baptist minister and Baptists are heretics with the soul-destroying disease, Baptici hereticus. Also Baptists have unbiblical and Semi-Pelagian church polity as Sharin’ Whiplash reminds Discernmentalists that Absolute Truth Biblical church polity is Presbyterian in nature—we who are God’s True Elect Know this.  In this way, Martin Luther  King, Jr. led many souls astray by spreading the disease Baptici hereticus—not only that he was a communist and socialist bent on destroying America.

Martin Luther  King, Jr. may have had a dream but that dream was for a socialist and communist America and  that’s heresy.

He also damned many souls to hell with his Commie Baptist ways.

 

Rick Warren and Islamists’ Secret Death Star Plans Exposed

May 18, 2011

“We are currently prototyping and testing our global P.E.A.C.E. plan.”—Rick Warren, USA Today

Rick Warren seen secretly plotting with Islamists to inact the terror of his New Age Purpose-Driven Global Peace Plan across the universe. Part of Rick Warren’s plan is to build a fully operational Death Star with the aid of Islamists.  Warren expects the Death Star to be fully operational by 2013—Warren’s Death Star will force Christians to support his New Age Purpose-Driven Global Peace Plan or so Discernmentalist Researchmentalist experts say. “Rick Warren Hits Home Run with Announcement of Global Peace Plan to Battle the Giants of Our World.” —Assist News Agency

Warren’s Death Star, which is believed to have the capacity to neutralize the minds of an entire planet, was adopted from designs stolen from George Lucas’ studios and used by Vladimir Putin in his successful takeover of Russia in the late 1900s. It was re-stolen by Rick Warren and in the works using the gargantuan profits made by both Halliburton and Islamists in the Iraq War, now referred to as ‘Liberating Iraq’s Oil.’

Brannon Howse says of Rick Warren’s Global Peace Plan:

Certainly the world is all about solving its problems without the God of the Bible. Yet many professing Christians are rushing to remedy the world’s troubles in ways that are without the support of Scripture, some even in contradiction to what the Scriptures teach. Rick Warren’s global P.E.A.C.E. plan is one of many programs and teachings that, for the most part, cannot be reconciled with God’s prophetic Word. It is Warren’s “50-year plan” to cure global issues such as “pandemic diseases, extreme poverty, illiteracy, corruption, global warming, [and] spiritual emptiness” (see http://www.thebereancall.org). He claims that his social-works agenda developed from his reading of the Gospels–that Jesus gave him the model that was the antidote to the five biggest problems on the planet (see http://www.thebereancall.org). Warren subsequently expanded that model from an exclusive endeavor of Christianity to one requiring the support of all religions.

Rick Warren’s “ill-curing” ecumenical agenda is illogical as well as unbiblical. How can his game plan for remedying “spiritual emptiness” work with those who promote a false spirituality?   We agree which is why there are a number of pastors, ministries and authors throughout the world who are opposing Rick Warren, including Dr. John MacArthur, who exposed Warren in a chapter in his book called Fool’s Gold by Dr. John McArthur. We all must take a stand against Rick Warren‘s secret New Age Purpose-Driven Global Peace Death Star Plans.

Easter Is Satanic?

April 9, 2011

It is that time of year again—the time of year that we must tell everyone else why they’re wrong for celebrating Easter. We loathe the very idea of Easter not because of  the very idea of the Easter Bunny but because celebrating the death and Resurrection of our Lord and Savior in the church is blasphemous and idolatrous. I mean why celebrate a biblically based holiday when you can do the complete opposite like celebrating Reformation Day, Thanksgiving and Calvin’s 500th birthday in churches.

Besides Easter is a pagan Catholic Satanist invention:

The Post Reformation pastors and theologians of the day, following the Reformers, abolished Easter, among other things. In June 1647, England Parliament, headed by the Puritans at Westminster, passed legislation abolishing Christmas and other holidays: “Forasmuch as the feast of the nativity of Christ, Easter, Whitsuntide, and other festivals, commonly called holy-days, have been heretofore superstitiously used and observed; be it ordained, that the said feasts, and all other festivals, commonly called holy-days, be no longer observed as festivals; any law, statute, custom, constitution, or canon, to the contrary in anywise not withstanding.” (Daniel Neal, The History of the Puritans (London, 1837; rpt. Minneapolis: Klock , p. 45).

The Puritans “proposed a stricter observance of Sundays, the Lord’s Day, along with banning the immoral celebration of Christmas — as well as Easter, Whitsun and saints’ days.” (Patino, Marta, The Puritan Ban on Christmas). The reason the puritans denied the celebration of any holy days was a biblical foundation to deny the “dressing up” of any other day than what God had specifically prescribed in Lord’s Day worship. “Holy days’ have no such prescription — there is no Scriptural command, approved example, or good and necessary inference, which warrants tying specific acts of redemption to ‘holy’ days of our own choosing.” (Chris Coldwell, The Religious Observance of Christmas and ‘Holy Days’ in American Presbyterianism) (I would encourage the reader to read the entire article that Coldwell has at that link which covers not only Easter, but other holidays.)

In “The Quest for Purity: Dynamics of Puritan Movements” by Walter E. a Van Beek, he states, “Because Easter invariably fell on a Sunday, this was a problem for Puritan preachers who were consistent with their repudiation of of the traditional calendar. The usual solution was to preach a sermon that had no direct connection with Easter.” (Page 77.) How would a congregation today take a non-Easter sermon on Easter Sunday? What would your reaction be, reader?

Play Your Part In Helping Us To Win John MacArthur’s Truth War

July 5, 2010

Help us win John MacArthur’s Truth War by obeying our rules or else the Emergent Postmodernist Spiritual Terrorists will win!

P. S. That means you too John Armstrong!

Hunting Season For Liberals Officially Begins!

May 14, 2010

    

(Gloom And Despair News: a subsidiary of GOIP Media Dominion Corporation as distributed by Outhouse Fails Publishing, Inc.) —-  Discernmentalists head to hunting ranges all across America now that Liberal Hunting Season has begun. Steve Camp of Camp On This Gloom and Disparaging Ministries has promised to reward the first True Bible-Believing  Fundamentalist Conservative/Republican Calvinist Christian to bag over a hundred liberals with a prize of an authentic tissue paper used by none other than our very own Ken Silva. The tissue paper is bound to become a  True Discernmentalist collector’s item. Camp has indeed verified that the tissue has really been used by Ken Silva for it is so full of ego and Absolute Truth. The tissue also comes complete with a certificate of authenticity.

Camp is on record as saying there are no limits on who may be considered a liberal. Any and all groups other than Confessional Dortian Calvinists are to be considered too liberal to be Truly Biblical and most importantly even Truly Christian. Most or all groups that are considered too liberal to Truly be Christian are dark evil reprobated heathen unregenerate hell-bound apostates as Camp goes on to further state :

To paraphrase former President Ronald Reagan’s words when speaking of communism:

“Open Theism, Universalism, Mormonism, Romanism, the Emergent Church, Jehovah Witnesses, Pragmaticism, Syncretism, Word of Faith, New Perspective of Paul, Libertarian Free Will, Socinianism, the Social Gospel, and Sabellianism is foreign to heaven, where they’ve never had part in it; and is welcome in hell, where they’ve already got it.” (Source).

In related news, Brannon Howse and Todd Friel have teamed up and have pledged their support for an upcoming Anti-Glenn Beck /Anti-Social Gospel Rally. At the moment, all the details are still in the open. We’ll let you know when and if any futher details come to light or as soon as any  future developments are made available.

Our Plans For Big Government

May 7, 2010

As True Bible-Believing Conservatives and the only True God Honoring Republican Party, We stand against Socialism and Big Government— here are a few of our favorite Bible verses which back up our stances:

Ronald Reagan 18:22- Thou shalt not let Communists or Socialists take office: it is abomination.

Ronald Reagan 20:13- If the Socialists and Communists take over there will be Big Government and all will have committed an abomination: you shall surely be put to death. Your blood shall be upon them for they supporteth the muderous buisness of abortion which is a great evil. However, genocide, torture and the slaughter of our enemies both foreign and domestic are all okay in mine eyes for thou must protecteth thy Pure Doctines and my Truth by any means necessary.

These verses set the foundations for our Anti-Big Government platforms. They also set the foundations for our pro-Theocracy and Theonomist/Dominionist mindset. We Know that the big issues of our day are found in the Constitution which is why we plan on legislating these Constitutional values when we take back the White House for Jesus: our Pure Biblical notions of individual morality such as gay marriage, abortion and public prayer. All of these must be enforced on everyone else by our God-honoring Theocratic Calvinist Government. Remember a Big God Government equals happy and healthy families but only those God already predestined.

A Big God Government equals Absolute Sovereign protection for those of us God saw fit to Elect especially after God pours down His Sovereign Wrath upon all of our enemies out of His good pleasure of course. A Big God Government equals welfare for the rich as only we deserve money.  A Big God Government gives us the right to slaughter our enemies eventhough murder is a sin since We are Truly Elect we don’t have to live by the Law for We are Once Saved Always Saved no matter what. So We ask you this is a Big God Government for you? The answer is yes because We already tell you what to think so Obey Us or else.